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2019-11-10
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What Else Did You Think Was Going to Happen?

Summary:

Geminiano is called up from her department to help another agent with some research and it goes about as well as it could given that Crow is probably given too much power for being such an idiot

Notes:

The working title was "Geminiano and her Dumbass Husband" if that says anything about what's going to happen here

Work Text:

Peck. Peck. Peck. Peck. The small bird kept pecking away at the back of Geminiano’s head even though the worst it was doing was a small cut here and there.

“Doesn’t this thing have anything better to do?” She grumbled to herself, but with clerks being ever the people pleaser one decided to ‘answer’ her question

“Not really? If it wasn’t out here then it’d just be in its containment right?” No shit sherlock. She huffed and shook her head, making a half-assed attempt at swatting the Punishing Bird away, as much as she wants to whole ass it she’d rather not risk serious bodily harm. Thankfully the bird just goes and starts pestering some other employee for the time being. However, she didn't get to enjoy the peck free peace before her pager buzzed. After reading the message she almost put it away, instead, reading it once again with a small 'wait what?' barely said. Please report to the Training department main room when you're available, it was hard to tell if the message was made by a clerk or the Training Team's Sephirah herself. Either way, Geminiano excused herself from her task of doing nothing and left for the Training department.

The elevator doors opened with a little woosh as Geminiano entered the main room, it wasn't often that she'd come up here; mostly only for suppressions. Having not been told the reason for reporting here she took the time to look around… a lot more spacious than she expected. She wasn't able to enjoy the view for long though as a voice pierced her thoughts.

"Oh! That was a lot faster than I expected!" Startled slightly, Geminiano and the superfluous eyes on her armor, stood to attention. It was the Sephirah after all "You're Geminiano right?" She nodded, a small hum in affirmation as well. "If you'd like you can come to my office for the debriefing" It wasn't a request so much as an order with the Sephirah already walking away. Trailing after the Sephirah Geminiano waited a minute or two before speaking up.

"So what was it you wanted me for?" The Sephirah stopped, but only to look over her shoulder at the employee

"It's nothing serious! Er- well I guess it is, but it's not a bad serious, would important be a better word?" The Sephirah turned back and continued walking. That doesn't help settle the nerves at all. Geminiano wouldn't have much time to ponder it as they quickly reached the Sephirah's office.

The inside of the office was as orange paletted as the rest of the department. The desk stood front and center of the room, accented with a mid-sized green mat on its top as well as a desk lamp, a nameplate reading "Hod" followed by the Sephirah's title, and interestingly a small house plant opposite of the lamp and nameplate. The rest of the office was filled with various filing cabinets and other forms of house greenery. Though a choice few plants were of the larger floor variety the majority hung from the ceiling, creating a mismatched overhead spider's web of green. Geminiano almost smirked at the idea of Hod having to stand on top of her desk to water them all. Almost.

"If you'd like, you can take a seat while I give you the low down!" Hod had already taken a seat in her own chair, gesturing to its plush facsimile opposite to her own. Geminiano shook her head as a silent 'no thank you' opting instead to stand a bit straighter with both of her arms behind her back, it felt too… familiar? to do anything else. Hod's smile faltered a bit but said nothing of it. With a small 'ahem' Hod continued with the topic at hand.

"I'm not sure if you've been made aware of this, but we've begun somehow would you say it? Experimental research? On some of the more dangerous abnormalities," Geminiano frowns she hopes this is a recent thing and not that nobody ever told her. Hod sees the reaction but doesn't comment on it "since the abnormality he'll be working on next is in your department I want to know if you can provide back up in the event that something goes wrong" Oh. Oh no. Trying to keep her cool Geminiano finally says something.

"First of all, what does the experiment entail, and two, who will be conducting the research?" Hod's smile falls a bit more at Geminiano's harsher face and tone but tries her best to keep up her upbeat attitude.

"I figured you'd ask something like that, I don't know exactly what he plans on doing but Crow is the one you'll be working with if you're alright with that" Geminiano's frown deepens, not out of anger, has she met him before? "If it's a problem for you I can ask someone else?" Was Hod always such a pushover?

"No, there's a reason why you asked me isn't there?" Geminiano could almost smirk given how Hod started fiddling with her hair out of nervousness.

Hod sighed "you're right, all that he told me was that he was going to work on the Mountain of Smiling Bodies, but nothing about what he was actually going to do. I figured it'd be safe to have someone from the same department keep an eye on him…" Geminiano nodded in an "ah, that makes sense" manner even though she herself was getting a bit nervous; what the hell was this guy planning?

"Alright, I'll bite, should I just head to Mountain's containment then?"

"That won't be necessary, he should be back in the main room in a few minutes if not already," seemingly reading Geminiano's mind Hod continued "yes you may leave my office now." Geminiano only gives a nod in reply as she leaves the office. It was only after she left that Geminiano realized that she had no idea what the guy looked like, great. She can figure it out, right?

Agents know each other best and thankfully there’s someone here. The agent has their team band (orange, with an ‘H’, even better) on their right arm which Geminiano thought was odd until she saw that the left sleeve of the E.G.O suit (Justatia, she notes) was missing revealing a whole prosthetic arm. Must be at least somewhat important to get a prosthetic rather than ‘let go’. Seeing this employee as her best bet to find out who this Crow is she walks towards them. Sensing her presence they turn and Geminiano recognizes that face immediately and says the first thing that pops into her head.

“Say weren’t you the guy that got plastered on staff karaoke night and almost broke the machine?” Geminiano couldn’t help the smirk on her face as the other agent goes tight-lipped in embarrassment. With a short chuckle she continues “So could you do me a favor? I’m trying to find a ‘Crow’ but I don’t know what he looks like” It was the other agents turn to have a small laugh

“That’d uh, that’d be me,” ‘Crow’ says while pointing to his name tag “I take it you’re the one that Hod called up?” Geminiano nods crossing her arms, hiding the slight embarrassment under impatience.

“So are you ready to go then? I don’t have all day you know” Geminiano would really rather get out of this with her pride intact and this guy was definitely a risk to that

“Just about! Could you wait here while I grab the last thing I need?” Crow looked far too excited to be doing his job for Geminiano’s tastes but nonetheless, she nods. Crow dashes off to one of the larger supply closets and within a few minutes returns with one of the larger transport carts, normally only used by the clean up crew or clerks when they have to deliver a bunch of E.G.O or the like, the fact that it’s sealed shut and is wafting only a slight lemony smell does not sit well with her. However, seeing him struggle with the cart’s weight a bit she just walks over and starts pushing along with him. Once the two of them get the cart into the main elevator out of the department Geminiano turns to Crow.

“So how’d you lose the arm?” She’s fairly sure he still had it the last, and only time really, that she saw him, but he also still had the sleeve on his suit yet so there’s enough room for doubt. Crow looks away slightly before he answers.

“Melting Love, Me and Drew were testing if slimeified employees retained a sense of self, only got through 2 clerks though. One I shoved into Melting Love herself and they just kind of melted into her? The other one I basically shoved a bunch of slime directly from Melting Love into their face and mouth”

“Where’s the part you lose your arm?” Geminiano’s genuinely intrigued by the story but does her best to not let it show on her face.

“Oh, that? Long story short because I didn’t know what soap to use so I had to get hauled up to Welfare. By then the slime had infected so much of my arm that it was either lose it or learn if the slimes are sentient first hand” his face and tone had turned a bit grim while retelling the tale but quickly turns around “But hey! At least Drew gets to be the dad to a newborn tiny slime!” Unsurprisingly Geminiano goes completely wide-eyed with shock, surprisingly though she keeps her reply in a relative monotone.

“Isn’t that kind of a major security breach?” The elevator door opens before Crow can answer, in sync, they begin pushing the cart through the Information department to Central Command.

“It was probably out of spite but Hod sided with me and Drew on that one, said it would only be a ‘maybe’ Teth level threat with how small it is and how it’d be a good way to study the composition and behavior of the slimes without getting a slime apocalypse” Geminiano just nods and hums and ‘ah’s at appropriate times as Crow continues to ramble on about one thing or another as they push the cart through Central Command into Disciplinary. Her ultimate take on him would be absolutely chatty, kind of weird, and dare she say not that bad?

When the two of them get to the door to Mountain of Smiling Bodies’ containment unit Geminiano finally asked what should probably have been her first question.

“So what even is in this thing?” She only raises an eyebrow as Crow gives a sheepish look, the extra eyes on his cheek courtesy of Nothing There mimicking the emotion; she’d think it was kind of cute if it totally wasn’t thank you very much.

“Oh! It’s meat mostly, kind of rotting though so I had the clerks hide the smell,” already seeing her disapproving squint he continues “I-I just kind of figured that since the Mountain is very food-driven, it might produce more energy if given some bits of it, kind of like how BloodBath does if people die to it?” Geminiano nods along getting his thinking but sighs before she responds.

“No wonder you need back up if this is the kind of thing you get up to all the time” Geminiano lets a smirk slip once Crow turns away from her to unlock the door. With the door open it’s a bit of a struggle to get the cart in but with a little extra bit of effort they get it through. Once the both of them are inside it’s a bit of a different story.

The mass is growling and snarling and Geminiano pretends she can’t hear the faint mockery of what could barely be called words. It’s ramming itself into the walls to its sides, inhuman stumps clawing frantically at the floor as its maw is left gaping and drooling a rancid pitch-black ooze.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Geminiano whispers to Crow, as if the mass was even capable of understanding them, hand already on Mimicry’s hilt; its eyes narrowing along with hers.

“I swear it wasn’t this agitated before we came in…” He whispers as well, patting Justatia’s own hilt for a moment, the small jingle of the chain feeling extraordinarily loud despite the sounds the mass was making not much more than some feet away. Geminiano only gives a sharp exhale through her nose in reply as he starts documenting, well, something.

The ‘documenting’ goes on for an excruciatingly slow 20 or 30 odd minutes; Geminiano notes how the Mountain seems to get more aggressive and rowdy as time ticks by. Crow finally turns to the cart unlocking it, Geminiano hardly hears the hiss of the seal breaking over the ungodly shrieking of the Mountain barreling towards the stash of corpses-what in god's name was this guy thinking would happen? The Mountain had already torn through the buffet of rotten remains, nearly eating the cart with it, growing a secondary mass before Geminiano could even draw out Mimicry. She faintly recognizes that Crow had drawn out Justatia but before either of them could strike the second mass lets out a bone quaking caterwaul, stunning both of them long enough to grab Crow by the arm in its maw.

With no time to lose, they both give it all they got. Sure the locked door means it can’t just run out into the facility that means they can’t either. If the situation they were in wasn’t so dangerous Geminiano would only be slightly impressed that the idiot could still decently wield Justatia decently well while pinned, only slightly. Being the one dealing more damage, the Mountain eventually lets go of Crow’s arm; the metal fingers twitching with wires sticking out of the bite mark left in the upper arm, and aimed its attention toward Geminiano instead. Being more prepared she was able to parry some of the bites before going for the kill. Mimicry cuts through the weakened rotting flesh like butter but as soon as she smirks it’s quickly wiped off her face as the secondary mass rejoins the first, reforming right over her head. The bone-crushing bite she braces for never comes, instead, she’s tackled out of the way and into the ground. Again, if the situation wasn’t so urgent, she’d call him an idiot because now they’re both on the ground with the Mountain charging straight for them!

As Geminiano stumbles to her feet she hears an all too human yelp of pain and her heart skips a beat. Damn IDIOT jumped in front of it! With a snarl of her own, she pulls Crow back by the scruff of his collar, ignoring his shout of protest, and starts stabbing the damned mess of flesh with a renewed sense of vigor. Not even bothering with parrying anymore Geminiano starts taking hit after hit, throwing Crow aside whenever he tries to take a hit for her or the Mountain decides to go after him instead. With it already returned to its single massed form the two of them start whittling it down relatively quickly. Bouncing the Mountain back and forth between Justatia and Mimicry, crisscrossing scars of pale blue and open wounds oozing putrid blood and flesh draining the strength it has left. As the Mountain grows slower and weaker the two of them push harder, neither of them giving any regard for technique only caring for striking fast and killing it faster. Eventually, the Mountain gurgles, stumbles, and falls, turning into a Hill, and then a Small Mound. Verifying that it’s not getting back up with another stab from Mimicry, Geminiano and Crow give each other a wordless nod grabbing the long empty cart as they book it out of the containment.

“Well that was certainly something wasn’t it?” Crow has far too stupid a grin and light-hearted tone, Geminiano thinks. Just as soon as he gives an awkward chuckle under her stare she interrupts him.

“You’d be dead if it wasn’t for me you know! Were you trying to get yourself killed?!” Geminiano snaps, staring him down even harder, but she feels… something when Crow instantly deflates, rubbing the injured arm.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I really shouldn’t have expected much else to have happened…” The idiot just looks like a kicked puppy and Geminiano just feels bad now. She sighs and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Look, just, don't worry about it okay?" Crow already perks up a bit, Geminiano's probably going to regret what she's about to say isn't she "If you're going to do something dumb like that again at least bring me along so I make sure you don't kick the bucket," she looks away a bit as she grumbles, cheeks turning a light shade of pink "besides, as scary as that was it was also a little bit… exhilarating" a few moments go by and Crow isn't answering. Geminiano risks looking over at him and her face goes just a bit more pink at seeing his own beaming expression, oh no.

"Oh, I have so much for you to catch up on then! I-" Geminiano cuts him off before he can start rambling

"You can tell me all about it once we start getting you patched up, I don't need you getting sick on me," seeing his shit-eating grin she sputters a bit "not that I really care or anything it just leaves more work for everyone else!" Crow nods knowingly as Geminiano leads the way to the Disciplinary healing room, absolutely leaving the cart behind for some poor clerk to deal with later.

"So do you really think I'm an idiot?" it would have been perceived as a legitimate question if Crow wasn't snickering or dripping with that teasing tone.

"Of course I do, you're an absolute moron, a total fool, an utter twit, I have to stick around your dumb ass to be sure nobody kaputs" it would have been perceived as a genuine insult if Geminiano wasn't looking down at him with a soft smile and slightly pinkened cheeks. As they continued to walk together her smile grew a bit. He really is kind of an idiot but he's kind of my idiot now, she thinks as he tries opening the healing room door the wrong way. God he's so stupid, but he's not cute, not at all, not in the least, he's just dumb and, what's she kidding? She's getting it too bad for her own good. With a light chuckle, she opens the door the right way for him.

"Get in here you dumbass, let's get you patched up"