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"Hardison? You know someone at MI6 right? "
"Yeah. Why?"
Eliot gestured at the breaking news bulletin on the TV. "Does he work at HQ? Someone blew up an office in the MI6 headquarters building a few hours ago."
Hardison frowned. "I'm reasonably certain he didn't blow up the building Eliot. He's very careful with explosives."
Eliot looked puzzled. "I didn't think he blew it up. He's a computer guy right? I was wondering if you knew if he was OK."
"Uh. Computer guys blow things up all the time. But yeah, he's fine. He wasn't working at headquarters. He was doing weapons development at a site outside of London. When he's at HQ he only gets to play with the tiny explosives."
"So, he's not a hacker, he works for Q-branch?"
"Oh he's definitely a hacker. And an engineer. A weapons smith. Explosives expert... He's... scary smart. Brilliant. And this is me saying that. What's Q-branch?"
Eliot looked bemused. "Q stands for quartermaster." Hardison looked blank. "You know, the folks in charge of all the equipment?"
"Oh. Yeah. That's what they have him working on these days. That explains his new code name. I thought it was weird he'd pick a Star Trek reference. He's more of a Battlestar Galactica guy."
"Star Trek reference?"
"Apparently they call him Q now. He figured it would amuse me."
"Q." Eliot choked on his beer. "They... call him Q now."
"Yes?"
"Your contact. Is Q."
"Yes Eliot." Hardison frowned in puzzlement. "That's what I said."
"Q."
"Now you're just repeating yourself. It's a letter. Seventeenth in the alphabet? A somewhat amusing recurring Star Trek villain. ... maybe... is trickster a better...?"
"Damn it Hardison. Pay attention," Eliot interrupted. "Your contact was just promoted to Quartermaster of MI6. He's not working for Q-branch. Q-branch works for him."
"Oh." Hardison blinked. "Cool. That means he'll be able to do something about their infrastructure. He's been bitching about network security there for ages."
"Do you have any idea...?" Eliot rubbed his temples, clearly trying to get a grip on reality. "Just how well do you know this guy?"
Hardison hesitated. "We met online when we were... 12? We both hacked the Pentagon. Kinda simultaneously. We sort of bonded."
Parker, who had been watching the conversation closely, suddenly lunged forward and peered at Hardison intently. "Who's his favorite Battlestar Galaga character?"
"Gaeta," Hardison answered immediately. "And it's Galactica, not Galaga."
"I knew it," she said triumphantly. "You've slept with him."
"What?" he drew back and frowned at her.
Parker grinned. "Is he good in bed?"
"How... I mean. Why do you think I've slept with him?"
"Easy," said Parker. "Who's Chaos' favorite Battlestar Galaga character?"
Hardison stared in confusion. "Are you doing this to provoke me?* It's Ga-lac-ti-ca," he said enunciating every syllable. "And I don't know."
(*she is)
"Does Chaos like Star Wars or Star Trek better?"
"I don't know Parker," Hardison repeated more loudly.
Parker nodded decisively. "And who is Eliot's favorite Star Wars character?"
"Chewbacca," said Hardison without hesitation.
"Mmhmm. And my favorite... Star Trek... Next Generation character?"
"It's a toss-up between Ensign Ro and Vash."
Parker made an I rest my case gesture.
"All right. Yes," Hardison conceded and his smile in Eliot's direction grew just a tad smug. "How do they say it in British? A bloody good shag?"
Eliot stopped rubbing his temples and thumped his forehead on the bar edge a couple of times. "So now you're telling me, that you've slept with the new Quartermaster of MI6."
"Slept with, hacked with, gone to more raves than I can count, bankrupted a couple Russian oligarchs..."
~
Red-5: Eliot tells me I was insufficiently impressed by your promotion.
Torchwood: So are you impressed now?
Red-5: Nope.
Congrats man.
Good luck.
Torchwood: Thanks.
Red-5: Parker figured out we've slept together.
Torchwood: What tipped her off?
Red-5: She asked if I knew your favorite "Battlestar Galaga" character.
Torchwood: I...
Right.
I'm never going to understand how her brain works am I?
Red-5: Nope.
Torchwood: Have to go, bad guys to track, secret agents to wrangle.
Red-5: MtFBWY
Torchwood: LLaP