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Lan Sizhui stirred in his sleep with the sound of something coming from the right side of his bedroom, faint at first; like an imaginary sound belonging to a dream. The second time, it was clearer, and it made him groggily frown in his slumber. When it came the third time, he was awake enough to realise that it was coming from the window. He quickly caught on and reached for the sword next to his bed, his muscles tense. He quietly got into a position that would allow him to defend himself if attacked.
He had been reluctant about being given his very own room after his fathers had gotten married and declared him their son, officially making him the descendant of the Lan Clan, next in line after his father, Lan Wangji. He had gotten used to sharing a room with the other young disciples since his youth, it was odd to wake up to a quiet room without the noise coming from other boys his age. He had been on edge since then, not particularly comfortable but acknowledging that as the descendant of Lan Wangji, not having a room of his own would be improper. However, he couldn't help but think that he would not be facing a threat so late into the night, had he continued to share a room with the other disciples.
Then a thought crossed his head, Who could have sneaked into the Cloud Recesses, only to be so reckless as to be making so much noise? He approached the window carefully, his hand on the hilt of his sword.
“You’re awake!” Lan Sizhui almost dropped onto the floor from the sudden appearance of Jin Ling at the window. “I don't understand what’s wrong with the disciples in the GusuLan Sect, it’s not even eleven in the evening and there is not one person outside.”
Lan Sizhui let out the breath he had been holding and gently leaned against the windowsill, one hand on his chest. “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise,” he muttered, despite knowing that explaining would mean absolutely mean nothing to Jin Ling. “Nevermind that, what are you doing here?”
Jin Ling, “I’m here to see my goody-two-shoes cousin, obviously.”
There had been a noticeable change in Jin Ling’s behaviour since the death of Jin Guangyao in the Guanyin Temple; since he had come to realise that Lan Sizhui’s dad, Wei Wuxian, hadn't been the one to blame for his parents’ death. He had been odd at first, embarrassed and even refusing to see anyone from the Lan-Wei family, but he had slowly come to terms with it in the end. He was still rather arrogant and hot-headed, but Wei Wuxian had explained to Lan Sizhui that it was simply him taking too much after his uncle, Jiang Cheng. However, Jin Ling had also become sort of attached to his cousin later on, finding joy in having someone his age to talk to, be a kid with. Him, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi often fooled around together, despite Lan Sizhui’s desperate attempts at keeping them in check.
“You can't just sneak into the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Sizhui scolded, but his tone had a warmth to it.
Jin Ling, “Stop being so stiff, you remind me of HanGuang-Jun.” Perhaps that was true; Lan Sizhui had been raised by Lan Wangji after all.
“Would you rather I were more like my other father?” Lan Sizhui questioned. Jin Ling faked a shiver.
He scrunched up his nose in exaggerated distaste, “Both are terrible. I don't know how you manage to live with them.”
Lan Sizhui, “Living with Uncle must be better, then.”
Lan Sizhui had spent some time with Jiang Cheng afterwards as well, who’d had a hard time getting used to the idea of having yet another nephew at first. He had always known the clan leader of the YungmengJiang Sect to be proper and just, despite hot-headed and easily provoked, however he had turned out to be quite a caring person in his own way. Lan Sizhui could recall Jiang Cheng barely holding back tears when he had first called him ‘uncle’ on accident. It was almost as pleasing of a memory as reuniting with his dad after so many years.
“Anyway,” Jin Ling said, a mischievous grin spreading over his face. He held up something for Lan Sizhui to see; four jars of Emperor’s Smile. “Look what I brought. It’s supposed to be really good.”
Lan Sizhui’s eyes widened. He looked around as if anybody could be around and catch them. “What are you doing?! Alcohol is strictly prohibited in the Cloud Recesses!”
Jin Ling rolled his eyes. “Come on, HanGuang-Jun, don't tell me you’ve never tasted it before.”
Lan Sizhui bit his bottom lip, hesitating, before he shook his head. His father had taught him the rules of the GusuLan Sect since he was but a child, he didn't dare disobey him. But, he thought to himself, had he not broken the rules himself, would my fathers be together right now?
Jin Ling seemed shocked by the idea, as if he couldn't possibly imagine anyone not tasting liquor despite getting to the age of seventeen. He himself was about two years younger than Lan Sizhui, and often bragged about how much life experience he had. “Well, thankfully I’m here to rescue you from a life of boredom. You better thank me!”
Lan Sizhui had always had a very high tolerance for ridiculous behaviour, and he was especially tolerant towards Jin Ling’s nonsense. Although he wanted to roll his eyes, he smiled and nodded slightly in gratitude. “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can't.”
Jin Ling’s face dropped immediately. “What do you mean you can't? Do you expect me to drink all four of these jars? I’ll die! Lan Sizhui, do you want to have my death on your hands?”
Truly, he was much too similar to Wei Wuxian, despite not being related by blood.
Lan Sizhui, “Of course not. But it’s not like you have to drink them all in the same night.”
Jin Ling frowned. “You clearly have never tasted liquor before. Listen to me carefully, cousin, you can’t stop drinking if you have more jars than one with you already, it’s disrespectful to the liquor.”
Lan Sizhui returned his frown with a confused one of his own, leaning forward slightly. “It is?”
Jin Ling, “Of course! Didn't you know that?”
Lan Sizhui shook his head, intrigued by the information, ignorant to the fact that he was clearly being fooled by Jin Ling. “No, I did not.”
“Well, now you do!” Jin Ling said, turning his nose upwards. “You must accompany me, or I will die right here in the Cloud Recesses.”
Lan Sizhui wasn't used to breaking the rules; he had always been an obedient child far too fascinated with the world of cultivation to even think of deviating from the rules of the GusuLan Sect. However, his teenage mind could easily justify breaking a simple rule or two by telling him that as his elder cousin, he had to look after Jin Ling and make sure he didn't get in trouble. After a moment of hesitation and chewing his bottom lip raw, Lan Sizhui nodded and followed Jin Ling outside into the chilly evening, his cousin’s triumphant cheers not making it any easier on his conscience, as if he had listened to the devil.
Lan Sizhui couldn't help but look around carefully with every step they took, cautious of even the smallest of noises around them. He was chewing on his bottom lip anxiously despite Jin Ling’s reassurances. “Everyone’s asleep anyway,” he kept saying. “How boring. Even Uncle lets me stay up until midnight.”
Lan Sizhui was horrified to hear that. “Midnight?” he echoed. “Jin Ling, that’s far too late! What do you even do until that hour?”
Jin Ling, “Firstly, it’s not too late at all! If you should be scolding anyone, it should be your own dad. According to Uncle, he used to stay up the whole night and fool around. Secondly, I enjoy myself for a little, no one tells me what to do and what not to do, it’s really freeing.”
Although Lan Sizhui wanted to disagree at first, he couldn't help but admit that being out so late at night without the knowledge of his parents was somewhat thrilling. Since becoming an official descendant of the Lan Clan, he’d had very little time to himself; waking up at five every morning to practise all sorts of things, trying to become an even stronger cultivator, trying to make his fathers proud. Perhaps Jin Ling had a point.
Lan Sizhui followed his cousin onto a random roof and sat next to him, his posture prim and proper as always, still brimming with anxiety. Jin Ling didn't seem to have a care in the world for once, letting go of his arrogant nature and simply uncovering the jar before taking a sip directly from the mouth, letting some of it run down his chin. He pulled it away with an exaggerated sigh, licking his lips and handing it over to Lan Sizhui.
After a moment of hesitation, Lan Sizhui decided that his actions could be justifiable, and that it would be fine as long as no one spotted them, and took a sip of the liquor.
It burned as it went down his throat, the aroma mellow and fragrant. His stomach warmed up quite a bit upon swallowing, and although a part of him wanted to cough and get used to the feeling, he couldn't deny that it was a pleasant experience. Jin Ling was looking at him with expectant eyes. Lan Sizhui took a moment to adjust, his face scrunched up ever so slightly, and finally nodded with a bitter smile. Satisfied, Jin Ling uncovered another jar and started drinking from that one.
Lan Sizhui, never having drank liquor before, didn't know anything about alcohol tolerance, especially his own. He started feeling somewhat woozy after a couple more sips, which were increasingly getting easier to swallow down. He couldn't quite tell if it was affecting Jin Ling at all, but they were both getting more and more giggly as time went on.
“Are there any pretty girls around here?” Jin Ling asked in a sort of childish manner, like a kid who was just getting into the idea of romance and taking it far too seriously. Lan Sizhui couldn't help but blush.
“I wouldn't know,” he replied, embarrassed. “I’ve never been outside of the Cloud Recesses except for missions, and I barely had any time to talk to anyone other than the other disciples.”
Jin Ling pouted at that. “How boring. Yungmeng is full of pretty girls, all really lively and energetic. The girls in Lanling are also pretty, but they’re far too proper for my liking. They always act like they’re happy to see you, but it all seems rather fake.”
Lan Sizhui couldn't exactly relate to him, so he shrugged. “Perhaps they’re too intimidated by your status. There’s not a single soul who doesn't know who you are, after all.”
“How could I forget,” Jin Ling said sarcastically. “The son of Young Master Jin Zixuan and the nephew of the clan leader of YungmengJiang Sect, the Yiling Patriarch and the Chief Cultivator, HanGuang-Jun. An awfully complicated family, don't you think?”
Lan Sizhui, “I suppose it must make your relationships complicated.”
“Yours too,” Jin Ling pointed out. “You’re my cousin, aren't you? Former member of the QishanWen Sect, the cousin of the Ghost General, everything else… Do people not look at you with a different eye from before?”
Lan Sizhui thought about it for a moment. “People tend to treat me with more respect than before, which feels a bit strange. All of a sudden, I’m not just Lan Sizhui, but rather Young Master Lan. It’s an odd feeling.”
Jin Ling leaned forward slightly, expression muddled as if he himself didn't exactly know what sort of answer he had been expecting. “Do people not call you names for having cut-sleeves for parents? For suddenly becoming an heir? For being a former member of the QishanWen Sect?”
Lan Sizhui replied, calmly, “It is a fundamental part of the GusuLan Sect’s rules that you do not talk behind people’s backs or judge them for things they cannot control. My past still exists within me, but it does not define me. And if they must, I shouldn't care. I don't want to be the sort of clan leader who stops people from criticising me simply because they cannot fathom how someone like me has gained his position.”
Jin Ling’s expression was dark for a moment. “Doesn't it get tiring to be so grown-up all the time?”
Lan Sizhui chuckled at that, finding Jin Ling absolutely adorable in a sort of brotherly way. “I wish I could be more grown-up, then I could actually stop you from kidnapping me to drink.”
Jin Ling rolled his eyes and took a sip from the jar.
“How is Uncle Jiang doing?” Lan Sizhui asked curiously, hugging his knees. His posture had gotten awfully improper, but it didn't seem to matter in that moment.
Jin Ling blew raspberries and leaned back on the roof, practically lying on top of it, looking nothing like a Young Master except for his fancy robes. “How do you think he’s doing? Cranky as ever. There isn't even a day that passes without me somehow angering him.”
Lan Sizhui was quiet for a moment. “Is he still angry at Dad?”
Jin Ling, “...I don't think so, I don't know. I think he’s too proud to admit that he was wrong, and too stubborn to make it right. I think… he can’t forgive himself for hating Uncle Wei for so long.”
Lan Sizhui, “He hated him?”
Jin Ling, “I hated him, of course so would Uncle.”
Lan Sizhui hummed understandingly, he couldn't blame them. Not everyone had seen the caring, loving person Wei Wuxian was, back then.
“He called him ‘gege’ once, though,” Jin Ling said suddenly, trying to hide his mischievous grin. Lan Sizhui would have choked, had he been drinking. The thought of clan leader Jiang calling Wei Wuxian of all people ‘gege’ was something he wouldn't have thought was possible. As if Jin Ling had read his mind, he nodded in devilish delight. “It was a slip of the tongue, while he was talking to his subordinates. You should have seen all of their faces, no one knew what to do.” He let out a chuckle, then looked sad all of a sudden. “I think he misses him, more than he’s willing to admit.”
Lan Sizhui was quiet for another moment, letting Jin Ling’s words sink in, make a place for themselves in his chest. “Dad misses him as well,” he said in the end. “I don't think he ever stopped missing him, no matter how much they argued.”
Jin Ling, “Adults are truly horrible. They don't know what to cherish even if it’s right in front of them.” His voice trembled as he spoke the words. Lan Sizhui knew that he wasn't strictly talking about his two uncles, but rather speaking from experience. Even Lan Sizhui often forgot that Jin Ling had little to nothing to cherish growing up, he would have been truly alone if it hadn't been for clan leader Jiang, who was often far too busy to take the place of a parent. He was still so young, his features soft and delicate, yet carrying a bone crushing sadness hidden behind a double layered wall.
“Perhaps,” he agreed. “We should be cautious to not end up like them.” Lan Sizhui grabbed the jar and offered Jin Ling a soft smile. “Cheers to that?”
Jin Ling rubbed his face like he was close to crying, and clinked his own jar against his cousin’s. “Cheers.”
But when Lan Sizhui lifted it up to his mouth, nothing came out of it. Confused, he shook it slightly, only to find that mere droplets of wine were left in it.
Jin Ling seemed impressed by that, his sadness already melting away. “Look at you, Lan-xiong! You’ve never tasted liquor before and yet you haven't fallen off the roof after a whole jar!” He himself was already halfway done with his second, but he didn't look any worse than his cousin.
Lan Sizhui giggled despite himself. “Since when do you call me ‘xiong’?”
Jin Ling huffed out a laugh and crossed his arms arrogantly. “Don't get used to it, I’m only doing it because it’s a special occasion.”
“Well,” Lan Sizhui said slowly, the tips of his ears tinted pink, “thank you, A-Ling.” Perhaps the alcohol had affected him more than he realised, because in normal circumstances he would never call Jin Ling so affectionately, it being considered incredibly improper in the GusuLan Sect. He couldn't help but let out a sweet chuckle when he saw the absolutely flabbergasted expression on Jin Ling’s face.
Jin Ling, “You..!”
“We’re both Young Masters and cousins, and I’m older than you, A-Ling,” he pointed out sweetly. Alcohol truly was a dangerous thing, making him deviate from the properness of the GusuLan Sect, but seeing how flustered Jin Ling got seemed worth it.
Jin Ling turned his nose upwards once again, letting out a hmph! “Since when have you become so arrogant? If I told HanGuang-Jun, you think he wouldn't beat you?”
Lan Sizhui chuckled again. Although he had never explicitly told him that, he was awfully fond of Jin Ling despite his at times hard to tolerate nonsense. “Father has never beaten me, not to mention you’re terrified of him.”
Jin Ling’s face turned pale under the dim moonlight, then switched to a bright red. “Who’s terrified of him?! There’s no way I’m scared of HanGuang-Jun!”
“You should be, drinking so late after curfew,” a voice said from behind them. The boys turned their heads at the speed of light, their eyes the size of saucers, nothing but fear in their hearts, because they had been caught after all. Standing on the same roof as them was none other than Lan Sizhui’s dad, Wei Wuxian, in his haphazardly put on robes and loose, disheveled hair.
“Dad!” Lan Sizhui exclaimed as Jin Ling threw himself over the jars in a fruitless attempt at hiding them, exclaiming, “Uncle!” Had Lan Sizhui been anyone other than himself, he would have hit Jin Ling behind the head and scold him for not listening to him before. But, unfortunately, he was Lan Sizhui and all he could do was lower his head in shame and ask for forgiveness. “Dad, I—”
“A-Yuan, your father would be so disappointed if he saw you like this,” Wei Wuxian said, one corner of his lips lifting slightly. Lan Sizhui could feel the tips of his ears get warm again, this time not from the wine, but from embarrassment. He wasn't expecting his dad to drop onto the roof to sit next to them and grab the last jar of Emperor’s Smile. “Thankfully, I’m not him.” He took a swig in front of Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui’s shocked faces, and smiled happily. “Jin Ling, did you bring these in? I’ve missed it terribly, HanGuang-Jun doesn't let me drink that often.”
He seemed ignorant to the fact that both of the boys were absolutely stunned into silence, still staring at him with wide eyes. He seemed to take notice only after downing half of the jar at once, when he finally lowered it and looked at them as if he was confused as to why they were so quiet. He raised a hand to reassure them, “Ah, I’m not going to tell on you, don't worry. Kids your age should be having some fun, and I never agreed with most of the GusuLan Sect’s rules anyway. Besides, if I had been reported for misbehaving every time in my youth, someone would have had my head eventually.”
Lan Sizhui was still speechless, while Jin Ling’s eyes sparkled with a sort of admiration and curiosity that was rarely ever directed at Wei Wuxian. “What sort of things did you do?”
“Me telling you that would just give you brats more ideas,” Wei Wuxian replied, ignoring the annoyed look Jin Ling shot him. He paused when he felt his son tug at his sleeve.
“You really won't tell Father, right?” Lan Sizhui asked, still somewhat on edge. Jin Ling clicked his tongue shamelessly, as if he was embarrassed on his behalf.
Wei Wuxian’s expression softened immediately, looking at his son with a fond smile. “You’re really that scared of your father?” he asked, placing a hand on Lan Sizhui’s hair and gently petting it.
Lan Sizhui seemed reluctant to answer. “I’m not afraid of him, I just don't want to disappoint him.”
Wei Wuxian paused for a moment, touched the tip of his nose a couple of times in thought, and then smiled again; this time devilishly. “Since you boys are so hungry for some stories, how about I tell you about the time the glorious HanGuang-Jun got drunk right here in the Cloud Recesses?”
The boys looked at each other with matching expressions of utter shock on their faces, and Jin Ling, ever so mischievous, grinned widely.
“Well, this was a long time ago. We were probably even younger than you, Jin Ling,” Wei Wuxian started, a fond smile adorning his lips as if he was reliving a pleasant memory. “I must tell you this; I was an absolutely horrid child to deal with, I don't think the Cloud Recesses had ever seen a brat quite like myself — not to brag.” Lan Sizhui chuckled despite himself, because he could definitely picture his dad being an absolute menace.
“Your father was even more uptight back then, like an old man stuck in some fifteen year old kid’s body. I had not seen him smile once, despite my desperate attempts at befriending him,” Wei Wuxian continued. “One night, I snuck in a couple jars of Emperor’s Smile, and drank all night with Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang.”
Jin Ling, “My uncle?!”
“Of course,” Wei Wuxian replied. “If you think he was so dull back then, you’d be wrong. He would nag at me constantly for being annoying, but he was just as bad as I was. At least I could admit to being a menace.”
“Isn't that just being shameless?” Jin Ling muttered under his breath. He flinched slightly when Wei Wuxian raised his hand like he would smack him.
“Anyway,” he continued a moment later. “Of course, we got busted by none other than HanGuang-Jun himself. Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng fled immediately, of course, leaving me to deal with him by myself. He was so stiff and I had nothing to lose, so I offered to share the liquor, but he just threatened me with reporting me, the annoying brat. Before he left, though, I stuck a harmless little talisman on him, just to get him to drink a single cup.”
The boys gasped as if they hadn't been expecting that. “Dad…” Lan Sizhui muttered dejectedly, as someone who had more of a capability to think ahead than his dad. Jin Ling was absolutely beaming.
“It was a single cup! I could drink two jars by myself before getting tipsy at that age!” We Wuxian defended himself. “He sat down in front of me at the table and snatched the cup from my hand, downed the whole thing, and then…”
“And then..?” Jin Ling asked, leaning forward in anticipation. Even Lan Sizhui was extremely intrigued, despite feeling uneasy about listening to such a tale.
“And then nothing! He didn't even blush, I was incredibly disappointed,” Wei Wuxian said. Then, as if he had felt the boys deflate, he smirked. “At first, anyway.”
The boys’ eyes widened in curiosity once again.
“I tried to get some sort of reaction from him, anything! I called his name, tried to speak to him, but he just stared ahead with that stoney expression of his. Just as I was starting to wonder if he had slipped into a coma, he collapsed onto the table! I thought he had died!”
Jin Ling had already started laughing while Lan Sizhui was absolutely horrified. He didn't think he could even face his father in the morning without thinking of the story.
Wei Wuxian’s smile had become larger, now grinning from ear to ear. “Turns out, he had just passed out. Never in a million years had I met someone with such low tolerance for alcohol, I didn't know what to do! So I just dragged him to the bed, hoping he would wake up soon. HanGuang-Jun really is something when he’s drunk, he never stops speaking nonsense.”
Jin Ling, “What sort of things did he say?”
“Jin Ling...” Lan Sizhui pleaded, although he couldn't deny that he was somewhat curious as well. He didn't remember seeing his uptight, proper father get drunk even once in his life.
Wei Wuxian smiled and took another sip from the jar. “He was really worried about his headband being tilted. I tried to help him, but he wouldn't let me, saying that it was sacred and could only be touched by parents and significant others.”
Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui threw a glance at each other.
Jin Ling, “Then what?”
Wei Wuxian’s smile turned tender, almost bittersweet. “And then we talked,” he replied. “Not much, he still wasn't fond of me, and I wasn't making a case for myself either. It was… strange, to be talking to him like that, it was the first time he’d ever said anything to me that didn't include insulting or threatening me. It was nice, seeing him be a little less uptight for once, like he could take a breath.”
Lan Sizhui couldn't help but ask, “Is that when you realised?”
“Hm?” Wei Wuxian turned to his son, brows lifted. “Realised what?”
“That you loved Father.”
Wei Wuxian let out a laugh, loud and cheery and sincere, throwing his head back. “No, definitely not,” he replied. “Back then, I was young and extremely stupid, I didn't understand a thing about him and it made me annoyed that he didn't like me immediately.” He paused for a moment and pursed his lips, thinking. “I suppose there was something, even back then. I was just too foolish to see him as he was.”
Jin Ling scoffed. “Disgusting. How could anyone at that age even think about falling in love?”
Wei Wuxian grinned, reached forward and gave his nephew a little smack on the back of the head. “Arrogant brat, don't be like me when I was young.”
Jin Ling widened his eyes upon receiving the smack, placing a hand against the back of his skull as if he was checking for blood. “How dare you slap me! Who would want to be like you anyway?!”
Wei Wuxian took another sip of the liquor and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, stared at the almost empty jar for a moment as if he was reading something that wasn't actually there, and then let out an airy chuckle. “You boys should go back inside. A-Yuan, share your room with Jin Ling, would you? Jiang Cheng would skin me alive if I didn't take good care of his precious nephew.”
“Yes, Dad,” Lan Sizhui said, bowing slightly with his head. As he was about to get up, he looked at him again. “Won't you be going back to bed?”
Wei Wuxian let out a long exhale from his nose, then shook his head. “It’s been a while since I’ve sneaked out, I think I’ll stay for a bit longer. But you two,” he said, pointing at the boys, “better be in bed and asleep. I’ll be mad if you aren't.”
Jin Ling seemed to want to give him some sort of snarky reply, but Lan Sizhui quickly grabbed him by his sleeve and said goodnight to his dad before jumping off the roof, tumbling slightly. Wei Wuxian watched the two of them walk quickly but unsteadily through the garden, pushing and shoving each other, Jin Ling clearly nagging at his cousin while Lan Sizhui tried to make him keep his voice down. He smiled and shook his head, and took another sip of wine. It was just as smooth and fresh as it had been that night, years ago.
He then paused, let out a chuckle, and turned his head. “I didn't expect you to get out of bed at this hour, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji was standing on the roof as well, his white robes looking as if he hadn't gone to bed at all, his long, black hair reflecting the light of the moonlight. In the darkness of the night, he looked like a beautiful deity statue made out of jade, looking cold and hard and yet smooth and almost delicate. He took Wei Wuxian’s breath away even after so many years, his proper attire and expressionless face not intimidating anymore but rather welcomed with open arms.
Lan Wangji’s eyes traveled to the boys sneaking in through the open window of Lan Sizhui’s bedroom, and although his expression didn't change, Wei Wuxian could tell what he was thinking. “Ah, Lan Zhan,” he said quickly, raising his hand, diverting his husband’s attention back to himself, “don’t be so harsh on the kids, I told them that they could stay out for a bit.”
Lan Wangji looked at him for a moment, then shook his head in resign. “You really forget the pain once the wound has healed, don't you?”
Wei Wuxian chuckled, raising the jar in his hand. “You know me so well, Lan Zhan.” He patted the roof next to himself. “Won't you sit? It’s nice out here.”
Lan Wangji seemed to hesitate for a moment, before he nodded and gracefully walked towards him, his robes swishing around him in the gentle breeze, making it appear as though he was floating just above the tiles. He sat down next to Wei Wuxian, his posture perfect as always, and stared at the garden. Wei Wuxian, however, could only stare at his husband. He had watched him many times before, trying to memorise the gentle curves of his face, the slope of his nose, the way his eyelashes fanned over his spotless cheeks when he let his eyelids fall ever so slightly over his dark eyes. Being dead for sixteen years had almost made him forget his face once, he didn't want it to happen again.
Resting his cheek in his hand, he asked with a pout, “How is your skin so perfect? Not even my shijie had skin so spotless, and she was a beauty.”
“Wei Ying.”
“Hm?”
Lan Wangji turned to look at him, his expression not so empty anymore. His eyes were downcast, the corners of his lips turned downwards by the smallest bit. It was such a faint difference that, had Wei Wuxian not been someone who had spent the last year and a bit admiring and memorising everything about Lan Wangji, he wouldn't have realised that there was something on his mind.
He smiled softly, like one would at an upset child. “What is it?”
Lan Wangji was quiet for another moment, as if he was searching for the right words. Wei Wuxian waited patiently. “Back then, did you really…” he pressed his lips together, a disgruntled expression on his face. Wei Wuxian chuckled.
“Did I what? I won't know if you don't tell me. It’s not like you to not finish your sentences.”
“Did you really feel something?” Lan Wangji asked slowly, hesitant. “Back then.”
Wei Wuxian’s smile grew in size, as did the warm feeling in his chest. He rolled his head so his cheek pressed against his own shoulder supporting his weight. “Are you doubting my love, HanGuang-Jun?” he teased.
Lan Wangji didn't seem to hear the joking undertone, because he shook his head solemnly. “I don't.”
Wei Wuxian expected more to come, but sighed when his husband spoke no further. He pushed himself up into a proper sitting position and got closer to Lan Wangji. “Lan Zhan,” he said, soft and gentle, “won't you look at me?”
A moment later, Lan Wangji turned his head and stared at him. Wei Wuxian felt like touching his face and feeling the soft skin that, unlike how it looked, felt nothing like a jade statue. And so he did. Lan Wangji was warm, it would be ridiculous to ever think that he wouldn't be. He was warm and alive, sitting next to him, looking all too much like a deity and yet perhaps being one of the most human people Wei Wuxian had ever come to know. He gently stroked his husband’s cheek with a thumb, simply because he could, and smiled.
“Why do you think I tried so hard to befriend you?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. Had Lan Wangji been the sort of person who shrugged, he probably would have.
Lan Wangji, “Because I would not let you off the hook.”
Wei Wuxian chuckled again, shaking his head. Lan Wangji’s dark eyes seemed to sparkle for a moment. “Because you were so interesting,” Wei Wuxian corrected.
Had Lan Wangji been the sort of person who pouted, he probably would have. “You thought I was uptight.”
“That, you were,” Wei Wuxian agreed. “What’s not interesting about that? I thought I could get everyone on my side when I came to the Cloud Recesses, that everyone would like me instantly.”
“They did,” Lan Wangji said.
“They did,” Wei Wuxian agreed, “not you. You were the one who scolded me when people feared and worshipped me, and you were still the one who stood by my side when everyone was against me.”
Lan Wangji was quiet again, his silence perfectly welcomed as it always was. He reached up a moment later, placing his hand, gentle and light as a feather, on top of Wei Wuxian’s, and kissed his palm. Wei Wuxian’s breath hitched for a moment as he felt his husband’s soft exhale on his inner wrist, and then smiled.
“Lan Zhan,” he said a moment later, not more than a whisper. Lan Wangji hummed in acknowledgment, but didn't look up. “Your headband is crooked.”
Lan Wangji finally raised his gaze. He didn't say anything, but straightened up as if giving him permission. Wei Wuxian placed his other hand on his cheek as well, tilted his head downwards ever so slightly, and stretched his neck to press a gentle kiss on his forehead, right on top of the headband. He kept his lips there for a moment, closing his eyes, and then drew back. Lan Wangji’s eyes were shut, his dark lashes spread on his cheeks.
Wei Wuxian ran his fingers over his husband’s smooth hair. “There, that’s better.” His fingers trailed down Lan Wangji’s arm until he was holding onto his sleeve, then slipping on top of his hand. “Let’s go to bed, hm?”
Lan Wangji nodded as if he was still in a trance, as if he was the one who had drunk all of the Emperor’s Smile. He followed him as Wei Wuxian dragged him along with a wide smile. Perhaps he didn't know it, but to Lan Wangji, he was the one who looked divine in the pale moonlight.
They weren't aware of the two pairs of eyes staring at them through the half-open window in a bedroom across the garden, far too lost in their own little world as they often were. Jin Ling let out a sigh and slid down the wall, looking rather upset. Noticing that, Lan Sizhui kneeled down next to him.
“Do you reckon my parents were like them, once?” Jin Ling asked quietly. At moments like these, he truly looked his age.
Lan Sizhui smiled. “I’m sure they were, A-Ling.”
A beat passed. Hesitant, Jin Ling asked, “If… If I asked Uncle Wei, would he tell me about my mother?”
“You should ask him yourself,” Lan Sizhui replied. “You may not believe it, but Dad loves you a lot.”
Jin Ling pretended not to hear his last sentence, trying to hide the blush blooming at the tips of his ears. “I’m tired, we should sleep,” he said quickly, got to his feet, and walked to the bed without another word. After throwing one last glance at the now empty rooftop, Lan Sizhui followed.