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“Todoroki-san”
Bakugō almost growls when he heard the nerd’s voice just after the ring of the bell that signaled the end of the class.
The girl lifted her gaze from her notes, she was messing with her pencil, passing it between her fingers absentmindedly, but stopped in favor to look at her green-haired friend as the only sign she was listening.
Lately, the girl with the bicolored hair had been kind of sick and thus, unusually quiet. Surprising thing, considering that she had never been someone talkative precisely. Nevertheless, Bakugō had noticed that in the past weeks, Todoroki only used her voice in really necessary occasions.
“Today is Friday” Began the Broccoli. “And everybody is going to the karaoke. You will come too, right?” He spoke frantically, as nervous as if he was still a 4 year old brat in kindergarten, eyes hoping for an affirmative answer.
She smiled weakly, but in the end, she shook her head. “Thank you, Midoriya, but I’ll stay in my room”
“But-”
“But Todoroki!” Screamed Iida, now joining into the nerd’s conversation, conversation which Bakugō was so fucking close to end maybe, throwing a chair at Deku. “The whole class will go!”
She pressed her lips on a thin line, but it was evident her decision was done. “I apologize. But I need to work on my English essay… you know it’s not my favorite subject, so I’d like to finish as soon as possible.”
“Oh,” Midoriya lowered his head in clear disappointment, but still nodded. “I see”
Bakugō exited the classroom with absolutely no intention of letting that dialogue affect him. And it didn’t, even if a fleeting thought crossed his mind and reflected on his little smirk.
‘That’s it, Deku. Go fuck yourself’
...Because he hated the freckled idiot, not because Bakugō was happy with the fact that IcyHot kind of rejected him, of course.
Later, while he walked in the middle of a sea made of hungry students, Bakugō kept on repeating those events on his head. Even it it was true that Half ‘n’ Half wasn’t emitting signals of strange behavior or being lying, something was telling him that that essay had three days of being completed. Minimum.
Besides, he labelled as impossible the ease in which that pair of idiots had let her refuse to ‘bond’ with the class and her self-proclaimed friends.
Like, ok, right. The girl had lonely tendencies, but it was not as if it was her choice; it was more a social awkwardness caused by the fucking luck of having her father to be that bastard Endeavor.
Also, even her essay wasn’t completed yet, Bakugō knew that yes, English wasn’t her favorite subject, but she was good enough in it to make the essay in lunch time and still, have time to eat. Because he had seen her do it more than once; with calculus, biology, Aizawa’s homework…
Yes, most people had the idea of Todoroki being as the nerds that kept her company, but the truth was that the girl had her rebel side that surfaced more often than not.
But, woah, stop it right there.
Why was he worrying about her?
After all…
He felt someone collide against his shoulder, but before he could shout above the extra’s complaints and whispers and murder the poor soul, he was interrupted by a dry and hoarse:
“Sorry”
Todoroki didn’t even see him, and even in the middle of the crowd she managed to walk away from him fast enough for something nasty to grow and install on his chest.
… after all, she hated him.
Ignoring the feeling, he tried to suppress in vain the memory of barely two weeks ago:
It was the hero’s course physical training; Aizawa had given instructions with bored and deep voice as it was usual, making Bakugō and some others smile when he shared the details of the dynamic.
One on one fighting; the winner receiving extra points on Aizawa’s subjects, no less. Hearing that, the entire class was suddenly transformed into a micro-army of brave Spartans: extra points on Aizawa’s classes were the difference between glory or disgrace.
Kirishima had emerged victorious against Tokoyami, Round Face was defeated by Frog…
…. Bakugō was going to scream if Aizawa didn’t mention his name soon.
“Todoroki-” Hearing her name, the girl had looked at the Pro, dual colored eyes sparking a moment in curiosity, head slightly tilted on innocent expecting fashion.
Bakugō felt Mina, Kaminari and Iida, the ones also still not named, tense. In fact, he was sure he heard a tiny squeak behind him, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes.
Yes, the girl was a challenge that everyone dreaded.
“-Against Bakugō”
But not him.
He barely had repaired in the predatory smirk spreading on his face, even more seeing the coldness abandon Todoroki’s expression for a second replaced by her widened eyes and a flicker of disorientation.
He was in the middle of the first step ahead, explosions beginning to light on his palms, when-
“I refuse”
What.
The whole class was left on astonished silence when they heard the former cold, distant voice as firm as always. Even Aizawa took a moment to observe the girl and blink, unsure of what he heard.
“You’ll lose points. And you’ll fight against a teacher, then” Warned the man who class A considered a parental figure as a very brusque way of convincing.
“Fine”
That clearly… didn’t result.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Half ‘n’ Half?” He snarled, voice hoarse and throat dry. He stepped closer, rage invading his blood. He couldn’t believe his ears… was she turning down a fight? On him?
Again??
Todoroki Fucking Shōko preferred to stay as a coward, rather than fight?
He took her by the collar of her hero suit, inching their faces close. “DON’T YOU DARE TO GIVE ME THAT SHIT, YOU, FUCKING-”
“I’m sorry” She mumbled, so quiet he almost missed it. Her eyes, that clashed against his crimson orbs with her distant ice and storm widening for a moment in panic, were now looking at the dull gray ground.
She stepped back, taking the chance now that he was taken aback. Then, with the most pleading, big eyes in existence, she turned to Aizawa, covering her mouth with the back of her palm. “Please”
The next day, Todoroki had been absent because of a severe sickness that till the day wasn’t entirely off; she still coughed every now and then. So, the class logically assumed her strange attitude was because maybe, she was feeling ill since the day before and as stubborn as she was, she hadn’t said a word.
But no, Bakugō wasn’t a stupid ass to swallow that bullshit.
He clenched his teeth and fists with so much force it hurt. He still remembered the desperation on her face for a fleeting moment before returning to the stoic wall, worse than her cold behavior at the beginning of UA.
He could be an asshole, but that didn’t mean he was an idiot; he had noticed that Todoroki didn’t talk to him. At all. Before, at least she backfired insults, defended the useless scumbag of freckles or tried to calm Bakugō even if it was with a hint od annoyance. She once even mentioned something that sounded like a proposition for a rematch of the fight in the Sports Festival.
Now, it was like he didn’t even exist. It was like she didn’t hear his voice, no matter how high he shouted. And if they managed to be fairly close, she disappeared immediately.
But he didn’t give a fuck. ¿Who needed Half ‘n’ Half attention, after all?
Obviously, not him.
She only represented a rival; and he was going to become the best hero of fucking all, and he will scrub it in her pretty face.
Speaking of the devil, he noticed a mop of long bicolored hair side braided (courtesy of Round Face this morning) just about to exit the hall. But her steps faltered, and she looked a breath away of collapsing from weakness while she used a pale hand to lean on the doorframe. She took the other hand to her face, but a second later she straightened herself with elegance and firmness and continued, alien to the blond that watched her back with a scowl that he will forever deny, came from concern.
When five minutes after, Kirishima told him that ‘He should go to the karaoke with them so his sourness would fade’ he almost exploded his face with his quirk.
“Of fucking course not” He growled. “I have more important things to do”
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Todoroki had barely opened her room’s door, her head hammering with such a ridiculous strength that prevented her to see a thing.
She stepped inside and close the door, letting her bag fall at the floor without grace or care. Quick and clumsy, she took what she needed to take a bath and try to stop thinking in everything and nothing.
Stop thinking about him.
Her throat hurt as fucking hell, even more to hold and conceal in class time the little cough spasms that began to surface. Her stomach also complained painfully for her efforts, burning her muscles and guts.
For the love of all the cats in the world! She had just grazed his arm!
She cursed inwardly the little incident at lunch time that promised her a whole day in hell.
She wasn’t surprised, neither did she expect a lesser reaction; after all it was obvious the symptoms would only get worse. Even more with physical contact.
There was nothing she could do.
Shaking, she clenched her fists above the sink, looking with apprehension her reflection on the rectangular mirror before her. Bags under her eyes, pale skin, stubborn tears that began to form in her reddened eyes but she refused to release greeted her.
She wasn’t asking much, just to be able to love him without having to die trying.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
He knocked twice, firm and soundly against the surface of the dorm before him.
The dorms were silent and desert now that everyone was gone to their karaoke night or whatever shit they were into- Bakugō couldn’t care less.
Waiting for an answer while he looked at the uniform creamy color of the walls, suddenly the explosive boy couldn’t help to feel so… uneasy. Uneasy, that’s right, not nervous.
So he began fiddling with his feet, stepping on the tip of his black sneakers impatiently.
What shitty thing was he thinking?
He breathed in and released the air in a huff. He was just going to ask her why the fucking hell she almost fainted and acted as if nothing happened, damn it. Bakugō couldn’t comprehend the absolute inability of the girl to take care of herself.
The door opened, revealing for a fraction of second a very pale and visibly tired Todoroki dressed on casual clothes. She had her hair wet and emitted a fresh, almost floral scent that made him feel as a grubby teen, even if he had taken a shower just a couple of hours ago.
“Bakugō?” When she focused him at last, she widened her eyes and paled even more. Tiredness and confusion abandoned immediately her expression, replaced instead with alarm. As a feline when they feel caged.
“IcyHot” He began, growling. “What the fuck-”
“Go” She immediately ordered.
It was like a slap. With a fucking wall.
“What.”
Everything began to flow on his mind, so painfully as no other wound could had ever been.
“Just, go, Bakugō” She forced between clenched teeth: cold and dry, but with a hollow weakness that wasn’t unnoticed by Bakugō.
The lunch incident, the back down on the fight… each and every event no matter how little passed on the last few months until that very moment poured on his mind as a heavy rain. He couldn’t go on like this. He was done ignoring it.
“No.” He declared, with a determined fire on his eyes, anger boiling on his stomach and his veins.
Her shoulders tensed, her lips pressed hard until forming a thin line that ended up almost white.
“What is your fucking problem?!” He exploded, his voice booming on the empty halls. Making her flinch. “And don’t you fucking dare to deny it, because you have been avoiding me, damn it! ¿What the hell happened that day in training?!” He knew he wasn’t the nicest person, in fact, he was pretty sure it was the opposite end, but... “Why…” He fought, so his voice wouldn’t break. “-What did I do, for you to fucking hate me so much?”
Before the sight, she visibly swallowed with a little wince, as if she was eating sandpaper. “Please” She asked, voice so hoarse that reminded of someone who had been smoking for the last fifty years. “Just go”
He looked for her eyes, expecting to find her heterochromatic glare killing him with just the intensity of a deep fury, and yet, instead her icy walls, her shell, seemed at the edge of crumbling; her eyes so innocent and scared. So pained, so crystalline, with the beginning of a menacing tear.
She stepped back, starting a move to take the doorknob and close it, but he took her wrist to stop her.
“As if I would fucking do it” It was immediate.
She flinched as if his touch burned. And he felt her tremble, out of fear or pain he didn’t know, but it shocked him enough to let her go when she maneuvered her wrist and desperately retreated almost running to…
… the bathroom?
“Tods?” He called, not caring if suddenly he voiced out what was probably the first nickname that didn’t include and insult. His rage faded suddenly into a stab of fear that climbed up on his chest.
He entered the dorm, discreet but obviously hers, and walked slowly and cautiously following the direction he had seen her go. Until he heard.
He ran.
He found her crouched on the floor in front of the toilet, one hand gripping her hair, the other pressing her stomach. He got nearer, drawing circles with his finger on her back on an attempt of comfort her as his mother used to when he was a little boy. But his world froze when he saw it.
Red.
Red everywhere; on her mouth, on the floor, on the toilet… blood scattered, fresh and dark, falling alongside rose petals of the palest of all yellows and ruby.
“Holy shi- Tods, wha-” there was no one on the dorms. He wanted to scream, demand help… but, to who? He was alone and useless while he couldn’t do more than watch how his Todoroki bleed the hell out irredeemably.
She coughed, and more beautiful and stained petals fell, accompanied by a blood thread and this time, by literal thorns and flesh. Fucking flesh.
“Oh my- what the fuck do I do?” His mind was blank. Dysfunctional. Shocked. He pulled his hair shaking, out of pure desperation and horror, covering his mouth with the other hand. “Shit, fuck, Shōko please, how can I stop it?!” Now his hands were as wavering as his breath, crimson eyes consumed by terror. For a moment she stopped, trying to take a breath. “Please” He fell at her side, carefully cleaning with his hand the line of blood that ran in the corner of her mouth.
And for a moment, their eyes locked.
“I will do anything” He swore.
In those moments, she felt a crushing and demolishing tiredness that reclaimed her conscience, hitting her, draining whatever strength was left in her. She collapsed, but he managed to hold her in his arms.
“Hanahaki…” She whispered softly against his chest, her breathing slowly, progressively returning to normal meanwhile he ran his hand through her hair to her back.
Even knowing that Shōko had lost consciousness he didn’t stop the moves that had helped her to relax even if it was for a bit. Maybe, to prevent him to think about the burning sensation on his own eyes.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Todoroki awoke slowly. She felt her body heavy, and it was as if a fog covered her mind, preventing her to focus clearly. Even so, deep down she was overly conscious on the relieve of her muscles and ligaments, quite the contrary was her throat, that felt as if she had eaten knives. Or vomited thorns.
As strange as it sounded, the thought reached her naturally, her own body taking the Hanahaki as something inherent already. As if the fact of whole flowers growing on your lungs and windpipe were an experience as common as a cold.
She felt an iron taste on her mouth, meaning she had another episode. Nothing strange at this point, but why...
Why was she on her bed? Had she fainted?
That haven’t passed before. Much less had she awakened magically on her bed, comfortable under the blankets.
She seated, running a hand trough her face on an attempt to remember, eyes still closed because of the light that hurt her head.
“What-”
“You gave me a motherfucking hell death scare, for shit’s sake. If that was your question, that’s what happened, Half ‘n’ Half.” Growled beside her…
Bakugō?!
Todoroki jumped hearing her furious voice that held something more than his usual, pointless anger. She didn’t even dare to ask him when had he arrived or tell her what was he referring to, she did not even complain for startling her.
When he positioned himself in front of her, he extended her a cup, murmuring under his breath a ‘drink’. Without objections, she took the cup to her lips and swallow a bit of the liquid; a nice, warm sensation traveling down her hurt throat.
But as much as her wellness was right now, she couldn’t keep on drinking the sweet infusion because Bakugō locked eyes with her as if his gaze was watching right trough her and into her soul with such intensity she averted her gaze to his hair, hands… anything but his face. Uneasy, because in top of everything, she ignored the cause of the presence of the blond.
Thinking how to ask about it without altering Bakugō (that much), who looked agitated per se for reasons she couldn’t discern, something ended up reclaiming her attention.
Various dark red stains on his gray shirt.
Memories flooded her mind abruptly.
“Oh, shit.”
“Don’t ‘Oh, shit’ me!” Screamed the blond. Usually he would be surprised, fuck, he would laugh his ass off hearing the perfectly composed Todoroki Shōko cussing. But right now he didn’t even took it in notice. “Fucking Hanahaki!” He exclaimed, starting it as a question, yet ending as an affirmation for the girl to know there was no chance she could deny it.
She fidgeted, uncomfortable. It was not something she wanted to share, much less with him.
She hadn’t said a thing because she didn’t want explanations, she didn’t need; didn’t want pity. And of all the people that could have discovered her, it had to be him.
“I’m sorry you had to witnessed that, Bakugō” She properly apologized, lowering her head so she could evade his eyes, her voice soft and low. She stood up and bowed lightly to add feeling into her actions. “Sorry for the trouble”
Bakugō’s face morphed from surprised to offended, ending up in anger. It was as if someone has slapped him. “Do you think-?”
“I am sorry about your shirt. And-” The girl continued, still bowing and ashamed as she had never been. Now that she thought about it, the blond had arrived with a kind of tight sweatshirt that marked his arms’ muscles and athletic silhouette. It was blue, the same color of the one she was using at the time.
Ha?
She looked at herself, confirming with a growing blush that she was using a warm sweatshirt two sizes bigger than necessary and smelled like a nice combination of soap and ashes.
The safest conclusion was that he had put it on her before tucking her into her bed, but Todoroki’s mind could only swirl around the idea without digesting it completely. Because she couldn’t be that lucky, right?
“Do you think that is my problem?!” He roared, taking her down her cloud and making her frown in confusion, as if it wasn’t really that obvious.
“Yeah…?” She answered, dragging the word while she tried to think carefully about other possible causes that could make the boy so angered.
Bakugō was… he could explode the building out of pure wrath without the need of his quirk, but damn it. Why did Todoroki had to look so fucking adorable with every expression she made?
The fact that she was actually biting softly the corner of her lower lip with innocent lost eyes, wasn’t helping him at all.
“I spend the last hour learning about the damned Hanahaki…” He growled in dangerous, low voice. “Why didn’t you say a thing?” He asked with his gaze on the floor, his hair forming a shadow that darkened his eyes.
“What for?” She shrugged, trying to brush it off and once more, averting her gaze. “There is no cure” She looked at the floor, deep sadness revealing into her gray and turquoise eyes. “Not in my reach, at least.”
That the loved person loved her back. Bakugō didn’t even want to imagine it, but could. He was willing to give up everything in exchange to never see that desolated, lonely look on Todoroki’s eyes again. “You could have chosen the surgery”
Todoroki turned to him, looking at him directly with such sadness, but also with a deadly seriousness. When she spoke, however, she did it with quiet voice, somehow still transmitting the profoundness of her eyes. “Surgery means never again have feelings for him. It wasn’t even an option, Bakugō”
Something inside of him was crushed oh so impossibly painfully at hearing the statement.
She didn’t want to stop loving the person, even if she was consumed gradually because of it.
He pouted unintentionally, but forced himself to get over it. “Don’t fuck with me!” He exploded, clenching his fists until his knuckles were white meanwhile his emotions crumbled every wall. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW FUCKING SCARED I WAS?! I THOUGHT YOU’D DIE!” This time, the one frozen in horror was Todoroki; his voice was broken, torn. At last, tears ran down his face and fell on the floor. “AND THEN I WAS TOLD THAT YES, IN FACT YOU’RE DYING, AND NO MATTER WHAT I TRIED TO DO; EVERYTHING, I, WAS USELESS! THAT I COULDN’T DO NOTHING TO SAVE YOU! THAT-”
Todoroki was shocked; never had she seen Bakugō cry, and didn’t expected to. She didn´t conceive seeing him so scared, so desperate for her of all people, trembling without control.
So she did the best she could.
She hugged him, circling his thorax firmly, accomplishing to shut him up suddenly for the impression. Between his collarbone and neck she leaned her head, feeling how he held his breath.
She closed her eyes with force, praying to be capable of calm him. She could bear bleeding out constantly, endure hits, her insides torn...
But she couldn’t bear seeing him like that.
“Please” She whispered against his skin. “Please don’t cry.”
So much was the plead on her voice that he stopped a moment. He had shouted, screamed because she hadn’t comprehended how did he feel. But, how did she feel?
He hugged her back, surrounding her waist and leaned too his head on the slim shoulder. “You seriously love him, right?” He knew he was selfish, but he had to say it. “When I… ah, when I investigated, I saw that if both of them feel the same, Hanahaki will be cured. If you feel better… it means he reciprocates your feelings, right?”
She stilled at all for a second. It was so true that by now she must have been throwing up dozens and dozens of flowers and yet…
“I don’t know. He does?”
Bakugō almost growls. “If I knew who he is maybe I could tell you something”
She almost undid the hug to shake him as a rag doll. How can it be possible that her Katsuki was so dense?
“Hey, Shōko”
She felt a shiver ran down her nape to the base of her spine at the sound of his first name on that voice.
“…Yes?”
“Maybe it’s not the same, but… I love you.”
Seconds tickled before she was able to formulate a coherent sentence, feeling her heart beating madly to stop and skip a beat.
“Earlier you asked me what happened that day in training. If you read about Hanahaki, you know what happens if one is close to the loved person” Bakugō nodded, not knowing exactly where she was going. “Now, imagine it on a fight. Having to watch every move and expression, the direct closeness… the reaction would’ve been immediate. I just couldn’t risk having an episode right there. I distanced myself because I knew it was impossible for you to see me as something else other than a rival. I thought you hated me. I-”
“Moment” Bakugō pulled apart enough to be still in each others arms but also be capable of seeing her in the eyes. “You didn’t fight with me because…- Hated you?” He widened his eyes when the implication hit him. “You reciprocate me?” Then he was whiter than her right side when he made another conclusion. “Shit, shit, SHIT. The Hanahaki was for me?”
Todoroki knew that face, making her narrow her eyes without too much anger, dulled by the warm feeling on her chest since both had somehow admitted their feelings. “Don’t you dare to blame yourself, Katsuki”
“How the fuck do you want me to-”
Todoroki stood on her tiptoes, encircling his neck with her arms. “It is also my fault for not telling you… at the end it was worth it.” She leaned in, kissing his cheek in a cute way that caused her to blush. “Thank you for everything, Katsuki. For taking care of me, the tea, the sweatshirt…”
He shook his head after a moment, completely still. But then his eyes softened, and he joined their foreheads.
“You deserve the world, Tods. Not just that.”
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The next Monday, Todoroki sneezed in the middle of the classroom.
“Bless you” Chorused immediately Midoriya, Iida and Kirishima; the ones near her at the moment.
“Thank you”
“Is this time an actual cold, Tods?”
“Bakugō?”
“’This time’?”
“’Tods’?”
Asked the three boys that heard Bakugō, who never got near that part of the classroom and was now positioning himself in front of Todoroki, ignoring them.
She shrugged. “Maybe it is just the morning cold” From her backpack she took the perfectly folded -and washed, Bakugō supposed- blue sweatshirt. “Thank you again” She said, giving it to him and beginning to acquire a rather pink tint on her cheeks.
The reason was not evident, but he enjoyed the scene either way. She was just too cute.
“Tch.” The blond took it while he shrugged off the white hoodie he was using, putting it on her shoulders. “Cover yourself” He mumbled before returning to his seat not without leaning un, giving her a little peck to her lips, hearing more than one gasp and feeling too much eyes boring into both of them.
He let everything slip when with curiosity, he noticed a piece of paper peeking out his blue sweatshirt pocket.
He unfolded it.
And for the rest of the class time, Class A asked themselves why was the day so quiet, and why Bakugō had the expression as if he was the one who had received an explosion to the face, red as a tomato.
At the end of the third class, Sero was thinking in throwing him salt. Bakugō at last had changed his expression and frankly, it was far more scaring than when he was on killer-mode-on. That dumbass smile was alien to everything he represented.
Meanwhile, Bakugō could picture perfectly his innocent Todoroki, so confused and so damned cute. With so little experience expressing herself -not unlike him, for the record-.
He read again the note, and couldn’t help but blush again as a cheesy lovestruck teenager. And smile.
‘You say I deserve the world, but you, are my world.’