Chapter Text
Slowly exhaling, Obi-Wan looked around the dustbowl planet. Groaning quietly and not really understanding why here of all places they had to crash land on, Obi-Wan walked further into the ship and hissed out a breath. Master Qui-Gon was busy mucking around with the natives, gambling, making friends, adopting urchins, and making enemies.
Mustn’t forget the enemies.
The Queen of Naboo stepped down from her dias and approached Obi-Wan quietly. “Are they safe?”
“I think so. No one would have been able to follow us, and even if they did, Master Qui-Gon would sense them coming a mile off. Your handmaiden is safe.” Obi-Wan smiled at the woman and then looked the comlink on the wall of the ship. I hope .
“He rests quite a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.” The Queen smiled. “You must be very strong and brave.”
“And desperate not to disappoint.” Obi-Wan laughed softly. “There isn’t much competition in the Jedi, not really. At least, not after the Padawans are chosen by the Masters.”
Queen Amidala looked at the Jedi Padawan. “What do you mean?”
“Well, the Padawans are graded on skill, aptitude, learning speed, and emotional and mental health. If a Padawan is overly aggressive, then the Masters will notice and avoid picking that child to train.” Obi-Wan shrugged. “In their defense, they don’t want to waste time on a child who will one day use these teachings for evil.”
“I understand. So the Padawans struggle against each other quietly, vying for the attention and favor of the Masters?”
Laughing, the padawan looked at her. “You make it sound like pets struggling to gain favor from the master.”
The woman looked alarmed. “I did not mean any offense!”
“None taken. None taken. I understand what you meant though. It can become like that, yes. Bullying is very rare within the Temple walls. The Masters are strict and very unbiased. They don’t practise favoritism, but they are not all knowing. Sometimes things get past them. I, myself, was framed by another Padawan. I was enticed into a fight at the exact same time a Master- who was searching for a Padawan to train- was entering the room. I chose to fight. I understand that, but like most people, the person who is winning the fight is seen as the antagonist.”
“When it is not always the case.” The Queen sighed and nodded. “I understand. How did you get out of that?”
Obi-Wan smiled mirthlessly. “I didn’t. I was considered too old to stay any longer in the Temple. My current master, Master Qui-Gon, chose me after I was sent to the farms that the other children go when no one can train them.”
“The rejects.” The Queen looked at her companion and then sighed. “That seems…a bit brutal.”
“A necessary evil.” Obi-Wan sighed and looked down. “The Jedi Temple isn’t stuffed with gold and treasure like so many people suppose. We aren’t rich. We are self-sufficient. The children who are sent to the farms are orphans. The children given by families are returned to the families, unless the families are unable to accept the children.”
“And what about you? You said he passed you over once. Why did he take you back?”
“I was on the shuttle to go to the farms. Master Qui-Gon was on the same ship. We met up and had to work together when the ship was overrun.” Obi-Wan swallowed and looked at the queen with a sad smile. “He saw me in a new light after fighting with me by his side and he contacted Master Yoda. I was reinstated by the Jedi.”
“And you weren’t bitter?”
Laughing, Obi-Wan smiled and regarded the woman carefully. “I was definitely bitter, but I learned as I grew older that bitterness gains me nothing.”
“Did your gender have anything to do with you being passed over? I myself have to admit that Naboo is more advanced when it comes to equality among the genders.”
Smiling, Obi-Wan shook her head. “No. There are females on the Jedi Council. The population of females is actually just a little less that fifty-fifty with the males.” She laughed at the impressed look on the woman’s face. “I know. It’s rather surprising. So many people assume that the Jedi are those who don’t want to share power with the alleged weaker gender, but it’s completely untrue.”
“Forgive me for prying, Jedi Padawan, into the Jedi culture, but this is the most I have learned about your people in my entire life.” She escorted Obi-Wan to the main dining area. They sat down and had some lunch. “What is a life of a Jedi? When you are inside the Temple?”
“Well, training, meditating, learning, and sparring. I had to learn the general courses also. Just like any other child in the galaxy. Math, Languages, Arts, History, Medicine.” Obi-Wan chuckled. “Physical Education admittedly was different for us than the regular school children.” They shared a laugh. “And what about you? Training to become Queen?”
Amidala sighed and waved her hand. “I hated it. Everything from the style of walking, the headpieces, the makeup, the dresses, the etiquette lessons. I hated all of the…” She sighed. “I consider it meaningless fluff. Trimmings around the truly necessary politics.”
“Politics are truly necessary?” Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at her. Amidala gave her a look.
“ Yes , they are.” She smiled softly and then shrugged. “Mostly. It’s true that the art of politics has been twisted by greed and selfishness, but you must remember that government was set up for the people.” Her eyes gleamed with passion. “When a population becomes too large for the people to govern themselves with a socialist style of sharing everything, then a democracy is the next best course of action. Representatives on behalf of the people are voted in by the people. That way every voice is heard when only one is speaking.”
“Allegedly.” Obi-Wan sighed. “Sadly, I hear your words but I can’t see past the corruption of your peers. So many people don’t care about the smaller problems.”
“I agree.” Amidala stared at her hands. “But once a government becomes corrupt, it is nearly impossible to undo such corruption. The only other option is to stop the spread and try and contain the infection as much as you can.”
Obi-Wan sighed and then jumped when her comlink beeped. She listened to her master’s update about the boy just now lining up for the podrace. She sighed after she hung up. “All our hopes on a child.”
“If this child is to become a Jedi…” Amidala exhaled and then smiled at Obi-Wan. “I trust your master.”
“I do as well, but Master Qui-Gon has a habit of…” Obi-Wan laughed softly. “Nevermind, Majesty. If you excuse me, then I will return to the repairs.”
The woman stood and waved her on. Obi-Wan sighed and waited for the other shoe to drop. She crawled into the innards of the ship, helping the mechanics do the repairs. Her mind was whirling. He drops everything and goes out of his way to bring this child with him. Why couldn’t he do the same for me? Why did it take a near death experience to convince him I was worth saving?! She hammered out the dents and bent metal, venting her anger as healthily as she could. She wasn’t in a good frame of mind to speak to anyone or even use the Force.
Exhaling, Obi-Wan gritted her teeth and tried not to form a bias against the boy just because of the actions of her master. It wasn’t his fault.
It wasn’t his fault.
~two days later~
Obi-Wan approached the cargo hold and then faltered when she heard soft conversation. She edged closer and enhanced her hearing through the Force. It was the boy and the handmaiden. She arched an eyebrow. The boy was what, nine? Ten? That handmaiden was fifteen! Roughly six years difference, and they were flirting? Obi-Wan would never understand normal humans.
She backed away and rolled her eyes before walking down the hallway again. She’d come back later after their tender moment was over.
~four days later~
Obi-Wan watched as the young boy was taken into the room. She frowned. She didn’t know what her life would have been like as a man, perhaps it would have been the same, perhaps not, but as a woman she was more empathetic. It was just the way she was. She stared out at the sunset over the cityscape. Her master was stubborn in this. But there was one thing that was bothering her.
“Master?”
“Yes, Obi-Wan?”
“What about his mother? Did you really just leave her to slavery ?”
Qui-Gon sighed. “I did not have the money, and Watto refused to give her away as part of the bet. It was either or, Obi-Wan.” He looked at his apprentice. “You must understand, that I didn’t want to leave the woman.”
Clenching her jaw, Obi-Wan nodded and then stepped away and went to her room. She swallowed and paced the small apartment. She hadn’t met this Shmi Skywalker, but…the woman deserved her freedom, and Anakin deserved peace of mind. At least in this. If he wasn’t accepted, he needed someone to look after him!
Exhaling, she pursed her lips and then called up her friend Dex. “Hey Dex, can we talk?”
“Yeah. Finni is holding down the bar. What’s up?”
“You still have trade going on with the mineral mines on Tatooine?” She looked around her room and then leaned against the wall.
“Yeah. Why? Something up?”
“No Jedi business, relax.” She exhaled and looked around her room again. “How much credits do you need if you had your men…steal a slave?”
“Steal…dammit, Obi, are you going to do something that’ll get you kicked out for good? They already gave you one second chance!”
She flinched. “No! Promise. This is completely approved by the Council.” She cleared her throat. “Or would be, if they knew about it.”
He started laughing and then shook his head. “Alright, alright. Fine. The least I can do is check it out and report back to you. This slave have a tracker?”
“ Yes. Keep in touch, yeah?”
“ Obviously, Kiddo.” He cut the connection. Obi-Wan exhaled and shook her head. She was glad she knew Dex.
If Watto won’t sell, then Shmi will just have to run away. She can start a new life somewhere nearby. Anakin won’t feel survivor’s guilt if he knows she’s free too. Obi-Wan knew all about the trials of psychology. She had learned it because she considered it fascinating how the mind interacted with the Force, even for non-Force users. She had thought about becoming a psychologist if ever she had to leave the Jedi.
Humming, she looked at her com when it chimed with a summons. The Council had made a decision. If the boy was rejected, then his mother would be free to take care of him. He wouldn’t have to go to the farms.
Exhaling, she walked quickly back to the Council room and tried not to feel anger when she was cast aside by Qui-Gon. Again.
She cleared her mind and her heart and shoved her emotions down. She could either feel offended that she was being tossed aside for a new, more powerful toy, or she could feel honored that Qui-Gon trusted her with so much.
Her baser instincts told her to feel anger.
After all, it wouldn’t be the first time that Qui-Gon rejected her. She cleared her mind and straightened up. “I am ready for the trials.” She would always support her master, no matter how he felt about her. Yoda gave her a reproving retort about the Council deciding if she was ready or not. She bit her tongue.
And still, the council refused. Obi-Wan kept her emotions to herself, cutting off from the bond between herself and her master. Qui-Gon shot her a look in question, but she refused to meet his gaze. He was far too perceptive and would see her internal struggle between jealousy and acceptance.
Obi-Wan followed her master out, wondering what they would do with Anakin. She cleared her throat and then felt her com vibrate. She took the privacy mode off and answered it, moving a bit aways, watching Anakin follow Qui-Gon like a puppy.
“Kenobi.”
“Obi, listen, I contacted my associates on Tatooine, and they said that they can do it, but it’ll mean destroying the trackers by destroying the computer Watto uses. That’ll require a raid and possibly pissing off the Hutts. They need resources in disguises, untraceable weapons, and fake IDs when going into port at the town.”
She paused and then looked at Anakin. He would need his mother. Swallowing, she exhaled. “Do it. Have them cover themselves up and dress like sandpeople or something. Just bill me. I’ll pay you back. You know I will.”
“I don’t have any doubts as to that, Obi, I’m just worried-”
She swallowed down her frustration. She wasn’t going to take it out on her friend. Breathing slowly, she kept her voice level. “Dex, we are talking about a woman’s freedom.”
“Right. Alrighty then. I’ll tell them to go ahead.” He cut the connection.
Exhaling, she hurried after her master just in time to hear him tell the boy to listen and learn. Gritting her teeth, she moved quickly over. “Are you really taking a child into what could be an active-”
“Obi-Wan.” He looked at her. She swallowed back the rest of her retorts, including the ones about respecting the Council.
“Sorry Master.” She breathed out slowly and watched everyone climb on board. They would be taking the queen back to the planet she tried to escape before.
Obi-Wan would never understand normal humans. Or any people honestly. She was just too…Qui-Gon called her overly calculative and logical. The Jedi didn’t want her to feel, and her Master said she didn’t feel enough.
Honestly.
She was empathetic. She just didn’t like getting too close to people.