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Kakashi woke up with a gasp.
The bed under him was soft and his heart pounded like it was trying to kill him. He gripped his left chest, trying to calm his heart beat into a pace that’s less on the verge of a heart attack. His hands gripped the blanket- his favourite one, thick and green with little shuriken pattern.
The blanket that he lost during the Kyuubi Attack 16 years ago.
Kakashi jolted at that.
Wait a second-
He rushed out of his bed, stumbling when his feet- so much smaller, what the fuck had he always been this small- caught on the blanket.
Then, he made a mistake of turning to his desk and froze.
The small calendar was plain-looking, devoid of any marking but just from the month alone, he was able to discern that it was only a month after he killed Rin Rin’s death.
Please don’t be-
He brought his hand into a seal and whispered a desperate ‘kai’, disrupting his chakra subtly.
Still in his apartment.
Oh, come on-
Kakashi made a small noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper, the heels of his palms digging on his eyes. It was impossible but he swore on his non-existent sanity that the bold text on the calendar was mocking him. It was laughing at him as if to say do you really think you can die that easily? Do you really think you deserve it?
Kakashi curled on the floor, pressing his cheek on the cool surface in a vain attempt to calm down- which didn’t work. He was still close to hyperventilating.
Right. Who the hell does he thinks he is? Death would be too kind for someone like him.
The familiar feeling of self-loath and guilt curled around him in a mockery of a protective cocoon. He was too old for this shit.
Kami, he’s pathetic.
He shook himself from his dark thoughts and pushed them away in a little box in the corner of his mind to deal with later- which meant never, as usual -because Kakashi was nothing if not a good soldier and good soldiers didn’t feel. They compartmentalize.
Right?
Right.
Who cared if it wasn’t healthy? He was functional and that was more than enough, despite what his medic-nin said.
He took a deep breath in a last attempt to regain control of his unusually chaotic mind and began tracing back his memories to discern the sequence of events that led to… this.
Akatsuki.
The Fourth Shinobi War.
An edo-tensei-ed Madara.
Obito.
And then?
He remembered fighting Obito in Kamui dimension and Obito was saying something about rest and being reunited?
Kakashi forced his breathing to regulate, watching the dark-haired man with a steadiness he didn’t feel. His mind was running a mile a minute as he struggled to match the image of an idealistic boy with this jaded man.
He felt numb, trying his best to remain functional despite wanting nothing more than to lay down and just fucking die.
Get your wits together, soldier.
Kakashi tightened his grip around the kunai, stance low and versatile.
“Kakashi,” the robed man called out to him, “stop fighting me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Then what the hell were you trying to do for the past few hours? Stab me lovingly? Kakashi thought hysterically.
He inhaled.
Fucking Uchiha.
Why is it always the Uchiha?
“Obito please. It doesn’t have to be this way. They weren’t the ones who were responsible for Rin’s death. I know how much you hate me for failing to protect Rin but if it’s revenge that you want, just kill me and be done with it,” he said with a careful tone, posture relaxed enough to show that he really meant no harm. If his posture was still wary enough to jump into a fight, neither of them said anything about it.
Obito’s eyes softened as he stared straight into the mismatched eyes.
“Do you really think that?”
He moved, then; too fast for Kakashi to do anything but gasp. Mokuton shot out from the ground to keep him in place and Kakashi relaxed his body, bracing himself for the incoming killing blow.
His eyes fluttered close.
This is it. Tou-san, Rin, Minato-sensei, I’m so sorry.
An amused huff.
He closed his eyes snapped open when instead of pain, he felt a calloused hand cup his clothed jaw. Obito’s face was closer than he expected.
“I don’t want to kill you.”
Kakashi’s eyebrows knitted in confusion.
“But I killed-”
“You didn’t. She chose to die in your hand, Kakashi. It’s not your fault.”
Kakashi’s eyes were wide and pained, “then why-”
Obito smiled almost indulgently.
It was not a nice smile.
A rough thumb caressed his chin in a mockery of a lover’s touch, the action almost tender if not for the underlying madness behind his eyes. He almost shivered with primal fear.
So this is the infamous Uchiha Madness.
“It’s this rotten world that forced you two into that position where she had to choose between her village and her life whilst you were forced to live with her blood on your hand.”
Obito paused to thumb Kakashi’s scar, lightly tugging on his mask. “And who said anything about me hating you, hmm? Both you and Rin are my precious people.”
What?
He nuzzled Kakashi’s cheek.
Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut.
No, he sobbed mentally. It was a distant dream for Obito to return his feelings but not like this.
Never like this.
Obito continued on his tirade, oblivious to the other man's despair.
“ The world had taken so much from you. From us. Just let me do this, okay? Rest and when you wake up, I promise it’ll be in a world where we all can be together.”
Kakashi grew desperate.
Nononononono!
He panicked as Obito’s mangekyo swirled to life, the familiar sensation of falling reminded him a bit too much of Itachi’s Tsukuyomi and his body responded to his desperate thoughts.
There was a -final- burst of chakra and the last thing he saw was Obito’s frantic eyes, scarred face twisting in horror as he tried in vain to reach him.
Shit.
Note to self, don’t mess with space and time jutsu unless you want to end up thrown out of your timeline.
He sighed, feeling the weight of his years slamming down on him.
And on a second thought, don’t get involved with the Uchiha in anyway if you don’t want to end up being the catalyst of some disaster.
With a final sigh, he forced his body to remain upright, taking stock of his chakra- stable and well rested. Bigger than it should be at this age but smaller than when he was 30- and surveyed the bustling village through his bedroom window. He took a deep breath, tasting metal and salty breeze.
He was home.
Kakashi twirled a stick of dango idly.
If he had any doubt about being thrown back in time, it was obliterated during his short walk around the village- whilst being hidden in the shadows, of course. He didn’t have the emotional stability to face his ghosts.
(He remembered the bile on his throat when he passed by the tea shop his friends used to frequent. The sight of Kurenai and Asuma’s young faces looking so happy and alive made him warp the shadows around him tighter, as if to shield him from his emotional distress. Him and the shadows, they had been friends for too long.
Even thinking about seeing Minato-sensei felt like a punch in his sternum.)
So, he ended up standing before the memorial stone.
Classic.
As always, he would rather face the smooth stone to seek the comfort from being with his ghosts than socialize like normal people. He wondered what that said about his mental health.
He stared at the smooth surface for a few moments, subtly checking for chakra signatures within the area. There was a passing ANBU- Rat, judging by the signature- his chakra coils tightly controlled and impossible to detect by untrained senses. But Kakashi was far from untrained, being one of the longest serving ANBU and one of the best trackers in his time.
Not that it meant anything when he failed to detect Obito spying on him for information all these years.
If his sudden burst of giggles sounded every bit as hysterical as he felt, no one was there to hear it and report back to the Yondaime that his remaining student had finally lost it.
Fucking Uchiha.
Kakashi bit back the frustrated tears prickling his eyes.
They can’t do anything by halves, can they?
He sighed and moved to shunshin back to his apartment when an idea struck him.
His hands faltered.
It was a crazy idea, born out of years being with Naruto and his ridiculous Talk no Jutsu.
But if Obito really loved us as much as he said he did…
Kakashi tightened his grip on the modest bouquet unconsciously.
There’s no need to be nervous. If the plan worked, he’d have Obito back and simultaneously save the world but if it didn’t work… he would probably die. A win-win situation in his book. Maybe this would teach whoever was in charge of this universe that everything’s better off with Kakashi dead.
Morbid.
Bad Kakashi, scolded a voice that sounded suspiciously like his father’s.
Alright, no suicidal joke. Sorry, Tou-san.
Kakashi snorted at that. Going crazy, Hatake? Talking to yourself like this… oh, how far the great Sharingan no Kakashi has fallen.
Kakashi refrained from sassing back on the voice because that would be proving its point.
He sighed.
Alright Hatake, enough stalling.
Time to face the music.
Kakashi bursted into the Kamui realm to find a perplexed Obito.
Oh.
What a wonderful coincidence. That was easier than what he had in plan.
Kakashi cleared his throat awkwardly and proceeded to slap Obito with the flower bouquet he bought.
Clearly, his emotions were more unstable than he thought because instead of launching into the Naruto-esque speech as he had planned, he just went ahead and hugged the Uchiha like a life line.
Just let me die, already.
To his horror and embarrassment, tears started streaming down his face.
Fucking bury me now.
Obito tensed but almost automatically wrapped his arms around the smaller boy’s waist.
There was a pregnant pause. (in which Kakashi spent sniffling like the embarrassment he was)
Obito cleared his throat, obviously flustered.
“Bakakashi-”
“I missed you,” he whispered. I’m sorry.
Inner him was crying for a different reason now.
Please shut the fuck up before I jump off from the top of the Shodaime's head.
He wiped his tears hurriedly and pulled back slightly to look at the older boy.
“Come back with me, please. I- I love you,” Obito gaped at the sudden confession and Kakashi’s cheeks burned.
Inner Kakashi rolled on his mental floor.
“I don’t know what else to say but please, don’t leave me.”
“But Kakashi-”
Kakashi shook his head quickly, not giving the other boy a chance to say anything.
If not for me, then...
“Your Obaa-san’s birthday is tomorrow, right?”
Obito’s jaw snapped shut.
“She misses you. Everyday. She has this sad look on her face, Obito. She loves you so much, more than Rin and I could ever,” the Uchiha flinched at Rin’s name but Kakashi shouldered on, voice carefully soft. “Do you really want to hurt her like that?”
Obito’s eyes glazed over in pain and Kakashi’s eyes softened.
He tugged down his mask to give the Uchiha a peck on his cheek, smiling gently at the dazed look on his face when he pulled away.
Inner Kakashi halted his work on digging his own mental grave to sob quietly into his palms.
Kakashi, you bastard.
This is why I don't do emotions.
Obito was just minding his business, practicing phasing in and out of kamui whilst Zetsu went to God knew where doing God knew what when one Hatake Kakashi suddenly materialized out of thin air and tackled him with a hug.
What the fuck?!
.
Okay.
Obito, calm the fuck down. You're as cool as a cucumber. It's just Bakakashi.
No big deal.
Yeah.
.
.
Fuck it.
Obito moved to clear his throat discreetly, trying to ignore his arms around the other boy- which was impossibly slim, by the way. What the hell had they been feeding him? -when he felt the other boy tremble minutely.
Obito froze.
Amaterasu's balls, is he-
He proceeded to freak out.
He proceeded to freak out even worse when something suspiciously like tears dampened the shoulder of his robe.
To his defence, it wasn’t every day that the boy who you thought hated your guts suddenly popped out into your super-secret pocket dimension and cried and confessed his love for you. It was totally justified to freak out.
(And Bakakashi don’t cry. He- He’s Bakakashi.
But he cried when you died, remember?
Shut up.)
He refused to admit that the choked sound was a squeak.
Uchiha don’t squeak.
Damn it.
Obito cursed silently when Kakashi pulled away from the crook of his neck, looking-
-impossibly cute.
What the hell.
Why can't he be an ugly crier or something, with snot and swollen eyes instead of big glassy eyes and-
Wow. Shut up. Just shut up.
You shut up, he shot back at his thought.
Obito was in the middle of missing his grandma when Kakashi tugged down his mask and kissed him.
(It was on his cheek but still!!!)
And then the evil bastard had the nerve to smile at him and Obito simultaneously wanted to crawl up and die on the floor and kiss him silly- which he would never, thank you very much- because why the fuck is he so pretty for? Fucking Bakakashi and his perfect face-
And then he was gone.
Obito continued to gape at the empty air for a few minutes, scarred hand cupping the cheek the younger boy had kissed. Even long after Kakashi kamui-ed out of there, both of their faces flaming, Obito still couldn't form a even single coherent thought.
He made a strangled sound, “what the fuck, Kakashi?!”
Obito stared at the array of silk handkerchiefs.
He pointedly ignored the curious looks shot at his heavily scarred face.
Obaa-chan likes green, right?