Chapter Text
“Oh come on, this is easily worth 50 credits” Alfred complained as he waved his latest find in the shop keepers face as if the maxcolite just couldn’t comprehend the worth of such a magnificent item.
“It’s a piece of crap, either take the 5 credits or get out of my shop” the cat like extraterrestrial hissed in its native language which was then translated into something Alfred could understand with his G.C.D. or galactic communication device as it was officially called.
“You’re not the only one who has to make a living man” Alfred scowled in annoyance but gestured for the other to go ahead and make the sale. A few moments later there was a cheery little beep to inform the blond that the transaction was made. Once business was done Alfred left the place with an annoyed huff.
“Last time I try to sell anything here” Alfred grumbled as he stomped down the road, kicking up dust as he went. He made a stop at the local health establishment and purchased a few health packs. He planned on giving the deeper wastelands one last comb over before he shipped off to the next planet on his map, he just had a feeling there was something worth finding out there.
Now that he knew what to expect from the wastelands around the planet's only inhabitable cities it took almost no effort or time to avoid the creatures that roamed the desolate looking area. He knew he was in the deeper wastelands when he came across the first of the many rabid monstrosities that called the area home. It took some effort but he managed to hold it off until he could manage a quick escape, he just wasn’t equipped with the means of fighting them off.
Alfred ducked into a crevice and waited for the beast to get bored and wander off. As he waited he checked his to do list; he still needed to get those engines on his ship replaced… his only problem was cash. When Alfred didn’t hear any more pacing or ragged breathing he slowly left his hidey hole and looked around, not seeing the thing anywhere.
He grinned in triumph and wandered on his way. He sent out his scout droid in the hopes of it locating any large quantities of metals or something equally interesting. While the little bot did its thing he searched the area immediately around him. He managed to find some chunks of ore that he could get a fair price for but other than that there wasn’t anything particularly intriguing.
Suddenly his little scout was letting off urgent beeps. Alfred grinned widely and quickly hurried towards where the bot had set down. He found the bot with no problem and he quickly turned it on to excavation mode. The bot beeped and started clearing away the dirt around the object its scanners had located. Alfred watched on eagerly, expecting a large deposit of ore to be revealed.
What Alfred hadn’t been expecting was the reveal of an arm. Surprised and slightly worried, Alfred started helping the little bot clear away the dirt, soon an arm extended into a torso and then that led to a quickly revealed head. “Hey, hey buddy, you alright?” Alfred said, shaking the unburied stranger while his bot kept working. He was surprised by how solid the guy felt, almost as if his whole body was made of just one large bone.
He flushed in surprised embarrassment as his little bot uncovered just how naked the guy was… which was very… and revealing just how well endowed the mystery stranger was… which was also very. Alfred shook the embarrassment off and worked on getting the guy out of the hole, he was probably robbed and left for dead. He was again surprised by the stranger, why the hell did he weigh so much? It was like trying to lift a ship's engine and not a human body; Alfred was no slacker when it came to strength either so when something was heavy to him he was allowed to be surprised.
He finally had the guy out of the hole after much effort. Now that he had him free he could check him over for injuries. He laid his coat over the guys lower half for modesty reasons and quickly set to work. Alfred quickly realized there wasn't a single scratch on the guy, there wasn’t any blood coming from him, nothing that would indicate anything was wrong; the guy just looked like someone who had fallen asleep naked in the dirt.
Alfred scratched his head in confusion and kept looking, rolling him onto his side to examine his back. As Alfred was trying to find something wrong he came across a tattoo on the back of the guy's neck. “L. U. D. W. I. G.” Alfred read out loud and noticed a slightly smaller line of letters under that “product of life tech inc.”. Suddenly it all clicked why none of this made sense. This guy was an android.
Alfred chuckled in relief at the whole thing, relaxing now that he understood that no life was in danger. Now that that was out of the way he studied the droids face closely. He had handsome chiseled features and blond hair, everything perfectly put together in a way that seemed natural yet not. He wondered how the guy was switched on or if he even worked at all. He also wondered what the guy was programmed to do, he was very handsome and his body was sculpted perfectly; he must have been a really expensive model.
Alfred grinned happily and sent a call for his retrieval drone, no way was he toting a naked android through town back to his ship. Once the drone arrived he hoisted the droid on top of it and strapped it in. The drone enclosed the droid inside it and flew back to the ship. Alfred wasted no more time out in the wasteland, he wanted to inspect his new find some more and knew he wouldn’t find anything better than it out here.
As Alfred walked he had his computer download all the information he needed from the life inc website, instructions and information about the particular model he found. By the time he made it back to his ship all the information was downloaded. Alfred had his drone deposit the droid on his work bench and while he was checking over the droid he had his computer give him all the information that had been downloaded.
A video began to play, a worker of the life inc company “Thank you for purchasing your android from life inc where we pride ourselves in making our androids as life-like as possible while making all of our customers' wildest dreams come true. Since you are watching this video then that means you have chosen the L. U. D. W. I. G. model and I must say you have excellent taste. This acronym stands for Living universal doll with interchangeable genitals”.
Alfred had to pause the video upon hearing that, his eyes wide in surprise and confusion “He’s a what?!”. Alfred looked between where his coat still rested over the droids groin and the video. He blinked hard and couldn’t stop himself from peaking under the coat. It looked like a normal every day cock, he couldn’t see any kind of lines to indicate the object was detachable. He laid the coat back down and let the video resume.
“Yes you heard that right, interchangeable. We have an entire line of custom made pieces listed for sale. If you become bored with the same piece or just feel like being a little adventurous then we have a list of thousands of different models for you to choose from. Confused about how to switch your L.u.d.w.i.g.’s genital piece? Well don’t worry, your L.u.d.w.i.g. Is fit with the ability to switch the pieces for you.
Your L.u.d.w.i.g. Is also built with an A.I. system to learn your likes and dislikes, to be able to read your body language and sense your mood then adjust accordingly to suit your needs. And if some travesty should happen to befall your L.u.d.w.i.g. Then do not hesitate to contact us and request a diagnostic repair kit, after all we are here to offer you a 100% satisfaction or your money back”.
Alfred looked between the bot and the video curiously and told his computer to bring up how much one of these droids was worth. At hearing the price Alfred nearly had a stroke, if he contacted the company for a refund he would be set for life! But… why was such an expensive android in the middle of a wasteland? How had he gotten there and why was he left there? He had been buried pretty deep so someone had obviously buried him. His curiosity won out and he sent in a request for the diagnostic kit, maybe if he fixed Ludwig he could get answers to his questions.
His computer beeped to let him know the diagnostic kit had been sent. He grinned and once again searched over the droid, looking for a port or something he could plug into. After a lot of investigating he managed to pop open a panel that revealed several ports. He plugged his computer into one and let it run the program to find out just what was wrong with the android and how to fix it. He then left it to run while he went about the rest of his business.