Work Text:
Your name is Tavros Nitram, and you are sick and tired of Vriska Serket.
You've always sort of been sick of her, but now its more of a sick and tired, (rather than sick to tears or love sick or sick to death).
You've known her for sweeps, lots of sweeps; since you were just 4, way back on Alternia. You haven't been in good health since.
[S] Past Tavros: Be Sick To Tears.
Your name is Tavros Nitram, and only one of your friends is online and you find it imperative to talk to them about the problem you are currently experiencing. You are not crying. Yet.
adiosToreador [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
AT: aG JUST JUMPED ME OFF A CLIFF,
AT: wITH MY BRAIN,
AT: aND, uHH
AT: mY LEGS, aLSO,
AT: aND NOW, tHEY FEEL,
AT: iNVISIBLE,
AT: wOW, i'M SURE THERE WAS A BETTER WAY TO SAY THAT,
AT: aNYWAY,
AT: tHAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS,
AT: tO REPORT ON THE SUBJECT,
AT: oF ME GETTING HURT,
CG: HEY ASSHOLE, STOP PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]
After Karkat left you like that, you started crying; big, wet, sloppy translucent brown tears that would stain your cheeks for days.
Tinkerbull was with you, and thank goodness you could commune with him because as much as you loved your lusus, he was too small to carry you anywhere. You sent him to find someone to help, with your screen name written on his back so the person could contact you. You were closer to Vriska's hive than you would have prefered though, so you sent him a very clear message to stay away from there. He stayed with you only long enough to recieve instructions, before flying off as fast as he could. There were two hours until sunrize.
-->
centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]
CT: D --> Tavros, why is there a tiny fairy bull lusus in my hive with your Trollian screen name on its back?
AT: i AM, um
AT: iN NEED OF, a LITTLE ASSISTANCE
AT: rEGUARDING THAT QUESTION.
CT: D --> A little elaboration on the would be appreciated, lowb100d.
AT: vRISKA GOT ME INTO A SITUATION
AT: tHAT NEITHER ME OR MY LUSUS CAN GET ME OUT OF,
sO
AT: iF YOU AREN'T TOO, bUSY
AT: cOULD YOU PLEASE, cOME GET ME?
AT: tINKERBULL KNOWS THE WAY,
CT: D --> I see.
CT: D --> I shall be there e%pressly.
centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]
-->
You managed to squeeze in a little more crying before Equius got there, too deep in worry and self pity and fear and relief to even consider any negative feelings toward the one responsible for you situation.
You made it inside just as the last if the stars stopped twinkling in the sky, overtaken by a much brighter light.
[S] Past Tavros: Be Love Sick.
Your name is Tavros Nitram and you have just... Kissed? Been kissed by? Been mind controlled into kissing? Whatever. There was a brief period of lip on lip contact with, (whether consenting or not, and regardless of who physically or mentally initiated the action) Vriska Serket.
You are now on the floor, gasping for breath because you think you might be hyperventilating and also Vriska is looking down at you with an expression that is clearly displeased and also makes you want to hide or apologise or maybe just stop existing so she will stop looking at you like this. Despite these feelings of terror, that kiss was actually kind of nice, if a little awkward and quite possibly forced. It was your first kiss.
Maybe thats why she's looking at you like that. Maybe you are a bad kisser, or maybe she set the metaphorical bar too high for you again. You can't remember having any conscious urges to kiss her before, so maybe it was just the artificial stimulation of the gesture, or...
You give Vriska another look, and note that she is wearing the fairy's dress from Pupa Pan. It doesn't look bad in her by any means, (you would have to be more blind than Terezi to even consider saying Vriska is unattractive by any standard) but the fact that you are dressed as the hero himself and that she threw special stardust in your face not moments ago brings a little more reality to the situation.
She just did all this as an act. Whether to appease you or herself it doesn't really matter. What matters is the thought she put behind it, the elaborate set up and adherence to the plot at the beginning of the story and the attention to detail... It is actually a really nice (or possibly a terribly cruel) thing, that she has done. Probably the sweetest thing she has ever done for you, sincere or not. You are now blushing.
She seems a little put off when you express your thanks to her for the experience, but that was probably due to the stuttering apology you make about not being able to stand as an after thought. She says maybe you should try a little harder next time somebody tries to do something so kind and charitable as encourage your wrigglerish belief in stupid fairy tales. You nod and promise to try (even though you know it won't do any good) next time.
Its worth it to see the little smile that crosses her lips, even if it does turn into a smirk) and you're happy and she's happy and maybe you might try kissing her again sometime (of your own volition).
That is the last time she is happy with you for a long while though, and after two attempts she makes it pretty clear she doesn't appreciate your red solicitations. You get sad, but you don't cry this time. You just let the feeling slowly wash over you. Unrequited pity, you decide, after a long while of thought, reflection and hanging around with a person who has kicked you into the friendzone, (so far that when you land you're sure the rest of your body will be paralysed as well) is a bitch.
[S] Past Tavros: Be Sick To Death.
Your name is Tavros Nitram, and you are done with Vriska on every tier of the escheladder of patience and pity that ever existed ever.
She used you be someone you could call your friend, someone you thought you could trust. She betrayed you, but you took her back.
She used to be someone you were flushed for, someone you thought you really pitied. She feigned feelings long enough for you to fall helpless into her trap, but you compromised (at the expence of the will your vascular pump had to function) to just be friends.
She is now someone you see as a threat, someone who you cannot help but platonically hate. She broke your legs and your heart, and now she is breaking apart what's left of your 12 player team from the game. She needs to be stopped, and something in your gut (not that you could feel much of it after your 'surgery') tells you that you're the only one who can do it. You give her your final warning through Trollian, and when she doesnt back down, and head out to stop that manipulative shell of a troll.
You put all of your bravery and self esteem into getting up and going to find her and stop her. Which is to say you crawl away from your huskop shaking, drop your lance twice on the way, and when the confrontation comes, it takes all of your fake courage to just stand your ground.
Needless to say, it does not end well for you.
-->
The next thing you know, you are with her again, but all the way? Its complicated. You are feeling all the same things, and also you know all the same things, and some more, but she is freaking out. A lot.
TAVRISPRITE: eEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH,,,,,,,,.
And just like that, you are dead again. Damn it. You and Vriska talk, and then she starts being stupid and planning stuff again.
VRISKA: I think it's time to start fucking some shit up.
TAVROS: oH, nO,,,
VRISKA: More like oh yes!
VRISKA: I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of 8eing dead and useless and 8ored, and I'm not going to take it anymore.
VRISKA: You're with me, right?
TAVROS: nO WAY,
TAVROS: i LIKE BEING DEAD,
TAVROS: i LIKE IT HOW THERE ARE NO RESPONSIBILITIES, oR PROBLEMS, uSUALLY,
VRISKA: Tavros, that is the lamest thing I've ever heard you say, which is really saying something.
TAVROS: yES, iT IS,
VRISKA: You've got to quit that loser attitude and get your ass out of the sand. That's just your low self esteem talking again.
TAVROS: yES, i KNOW,
VRISKA: I'm going to have to insist.
VRISKA: You are going to join me and together we are going to fuck shit up.
TAVROS: nO, i'M NOT,
VRISKA: Yes, you are.
She apparently just doesn't have the ability to sit still and enjoy what life (or death) has to offer, no matter what form it comes in. You two start arguing, and then you are agreeing with her.
Nothing good comes of it.
-->
You stay with her, try to make the best if it. You try for a long time. A very, very long time. She doesn't change, and she doesn't see the change in you. Spending all this time with Vriska is actually boosting your confidence a whole lot, and you even think you are flushed for her again. Until she starts talking. Then you remember she is the same girl you always knew, and unfortunately, you always would know her. You know her for what she is though. A manipulative bitch, and, inevitably, you get in many more fights.
Eventually, you decide to leave. If she isn't going to acknowledge how much you've done for her, or how much she owes you, or even treat you with the respect you should have earned by now, then you have no need to stay.
VRISKA: Tavros, what exactly are you trying to say?
TAVROS: i THINK, tHE BOTTOM LINE OF THAT, iS,
TAVROS: i DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR POOPMASTER ANYMORE,
TAVROS: sO i'M NOT GOING TO BE,
Your self esteem is not fake anymore, and it never will be again, you can promise yourself that much.
[S] Current Tavros: Be Sick And Tired.
You've lived, died, played and beat the game that put you where you are now, on a new world, with all your old friends and frienimies and you are better for it all. It changed you, and now, you see that the one person who was beside you through it all, the one person who broke you twice, killed you twice, and saved your life more times than you'd like to admit, has finally also changed. Your name is Tavros Nitram and you just recieved an apology letter from your once-friend, once-flush, once-foe: Vriska Serket.
It isn't particuluarly long, and its not especially wordy, and her handwriting has certainly not improved, but the cerulean tear stains on the page are convincing enough. They are proof that the note is sincere, and that the sniffling you heard outside when it was delivered was not fake. Vriska had a talent for faking sadness or disappointment, but she never learned how to force tears.
You remain stoic around her though. You act the same as always, friendly with most of your group, but still distant from her. You really want to tell her you accept her appology, and that maybe you two can start over and maybe be friends, but you wait. You test her, like she tested you so many times, for your loyalty to the feelings she expressed.
The way she looks a little hurt every time you deliberately refuse to look at her, though, that hurts. It takes two days for her to crack, and to be honest, you are already straining to resist. But she has to come talk to you first. You want to hear her say it, so you can KNOW she means it.
She catches you alone in the kitchen sometime between lunch and dinner.
"Tavros?" She calls out, not a command for your attention, but a gentle inquiry that you have the full ability to refuse (not that you didn't before, but her tone is the important part).
You turn, looking down at her (whoa, when did you get so tall?) and when you acknowledge her, you can almost feel the tension ease out of her. You feel better seeing her relax, and you smile a little to reassure her that she has your full attention. She smiles back.
-->
It's nice to be around her again, and you talk for a long time about everything that happened between you two. She admits her faults, and while you cant forgive her for everything she's done, you settle back into friendship, closer than before and this time you are both willing to let your weaknesses show and then help each other overcome them.
You almost aren't surprised when you end up quadranting pale with her. Almost. But, for once, you don't mind. You and her are happy together, and after a while, its hard to remember why neither of you noticed that was how it was supposed to be all along.