Work Text:
”-jiro-”
Visions of blood splattered, lifeless faces give way to brilliant green eyes and Tanjiro sucks in a breath like he's a drowning man. His chest hurts with every forceful inhale he takes, lungs feeling like they’re tearing against his ribs, but he can’t stop. Had he been holding his breath? Did he stop his total concentration breathing in the middle of the night? Tanjiro can’t think past the images of his slaughtered family in his mind, their cold eyes turned towards him.
He knows the dead don’t talk, but they had. Their stiff lips had told him how much they suffered, how painful it was to watch Muzan rip through each of them, how Nezuko had screamed when his blood entered her. They cursed him. He hadn’t been there; he hadn’t protected them.
He hadn’t died with them.
“Tangoro!”
Tanjiro snaps out his thoughts and locks eyes with Inosuke. He's wild and alight with life and Tanjiro can feel Inosuke gripping his shoulders like a red hot iron. His own hands are locked around Inosuke’s forearms in a vice grip, but he can’t remember moving.
“In-Inosuke?” Tanjiro swallows around the sour taste of stomach acid in his throat, tears springing to his eyes unwillingly.
“Fuck, you were screaming like a demon got you,” Inosuke all but pants, his breaths puffing against Tanjiro’s wet cheeks. Their bodies were close, pressed together.
“I-I-” Tanjiro can’t stop the tears from falling, his words dying out on his tongue. He knew he had had a nightmare, knew that it was one he's had before. It had been so long since the last one… It was his fault for being lulled into a sense of secured peace.
After finding Zenitsu and Inosuke, and travelling together, Tanjiro had gotten a break from the gruesome nightmares that plagued him. For two blissful months, he slept through the night with nothing more than a passing dream every now and again. It was amazing waking up to a clear mind and a rested body, but his good luck must have run out.
As Inosuke moves to sit back, Tanjiro can't stop himself from lurching forward, arms tangling around the other's shoulders and face burying into the crook of Inosuke's neck. Instinct pushes him closer, desperately seeking comfort and security.
A surprised noise rips from Inosuke's throat and Tanjiro can feel the other's hands hovering above his own waist, unsure. He ignores it and hugs a little tighter.
"I'm sorry, just… Just let me…" Tanjiro trails off, voice thick with tears and heart dangerously close to crumbling in his chest. His sweaty fingers slip against Inosuke's bare skin, scrambling to hold onto something tangible, something alive.
The minutes tick by slowly. The room is silent save for an occasional sniffle and the soft rustle of clothes. Tanjiro can feel himself slowly calming down, heart rate dropping and the lingering images of his nightmare fading away.
After several moments, he sits back, awkwardly fiddling with his bedding, and refuses to meet Inosuke's eyes. "Sorry…" Tanjiro's heart thuds up to his throat, "I don't- I don't really know what came over me."
Inosuke's silent and it makes Tanjiro even more painfully aware of the spaces where their bodies had connected and how they still tingle.
They don't touch. They spar, they high five, they graze fingers when passing food, but they weren't physically affectionate. Since his family's death, the only one he had let himself be close to like that was Nezuko.
Before the incident, Tanjiro had always had one of his younger siblings hanging off of him, or he was stuck to his mother's side, or he was playing with the boys in town. Physical touch had been a second language to him while growing up. His life had always been so full of warmth and physical affection that he almost took it for granted.
Tanjiro's heart clenches painfully.
"'s okay. I don' care," Inosuke grunts out, his voice a quiet grumble. Tanjiro looks up at him then, a little surprised.
When Inosuke notices him staring, he blusters, "You think I can't handle a little hug, hah? I've been hugged before- Tons of times!" He makes a move to get up, but Tanjiro snatches him by his wrist before he can.
All at once, it makes sense. Tanjiro doesn't know much about Inosuke's past, but he knows it was lonely. He hadn't had a family to speak of other than a pack of boars. Tanjiro knows he must have had some kind of human interaction, considering he could talk and had at least some schooling, but it couldn't have been much.
He thinks of a young Inosuke with no one to hug close, to kiss his wounds. No one to hold him after a bad dream.
"Inosuke, have you been hugged before?" Tanjiro tries to put as much kindness into his voice as he can.
"Haahh?! I just told you I have! Lots and lots of times! Did you get tears in your ears, fuckin Gonpachiro?" A pretty flush starts making its way onto Inosuke's face, and Tanjiro's mesmerized. It starts, he notices, at Inosuke's ears, slowly spreading across his cheek bones and then down his neck. Tanjiro smiles a little, softly and so gently that it makes Inosuke's blush that much darker.
It only takes a single tug for Inosuke to flop back onto the floor, chest heaving and eyes wide, like a rabbit sat in front of a wolf.
Tanjiro can't think of anything to say, can't get any words past his embarrassment clogged in his throat, so he stays silent. Slowly, Tanjiro moves both of his hands so that they trace up the backs of Inosuke's hands. His fingers dip along each knuckle, winding up to Insouke's wrists. Inosuke's pulse is barely fluttering under his fingertips, skin rippling with goosebumps. Tanjiro holds his breath, afraid that even a single exhale could shatter the moment forming around them.
His touch is light as he brushes up the other's forearms, then biceps, then finally coming to rest on his shoulders.
Inosuke's skin is warm and surprisingly soft. The fact that someone as strong and resilient as Inosuke could have skin this soft left a light feeling in Tanjiro's gut. It was almost like it was a secret that only Tanjiro knew. Only he knew how Inosuke shivered when his wrists were held, how warm his hands were. He felt dizzy with it.
Tanjiro meets Inosuke's eyes, silently asking, "Is this okay?"
"Tch, stupid-" Inosuke makes a weird, half-human sounding growl and then suddenly Tanjiro can't see past the black hair in his face.
The heat radiating off Inosuke makes Tanjiro's head swim. His hands press into the thin cloth of Tanjiro's nightshirt, his chest right against his own.
There's an emotion bubbling up that Tanjiro can't name. It's thrumming right under his skin, burning him from the inside out. He's not a stranger to affection, but being this close to Inosuke, it feels different. It's important.
Tanjiro's hands shake as he presses them into Inosuke's back again, face instinctively burying into his shoulder. He pulls him as close as physically possible, praying that Inosuke can somehow feel these confusing feelings through where they're connected.
They stay pressed together, both of their breathing patterns hitching and dropping in valleys, both of their pulses racing. Wrapped up like this, Tanjiro feels safer than he has in a long, long time. He feels like he could melt into Inosuke and never have to worry about another thing again. It's freeing, comforting.
"It wasn't a demon," Tanjiro whispers, voice almost lost in Inosuke's hair. When he feels Inosuke's questioning hum, he closes his eyes and continues, "Earlier. I was having a bad dream. It was… about my family. When I found them, after the demon attack."
Thinking back, Tanjiro couldn't remember if he had ever told Inosuke what happened other than the generic "a demon attacked my family and turned Nezuko". It was hard enough to just think about, let alone talk about.
"They told me that I abandoned them, that I left them alone to die. They said I should have been there, that we should have all died together." Tanjiro swallows down his tears, resting his forehead against Inosuke's shoulder.
"That's stupid," Inosuke says, simply. Tanjiro flinches like he's been hit. "If you died with them, who would turn Nezuko back into a human? Dumbass ghosts, telling lies."
Tanjiro feels his whole body sag against Insouke, tension vanishing in a single breath. He smiles in spite of himself, a wisp of a laugh leaving his lips. "...Yeah. I guess I didn't think about it like that."
"Of course you didn't- that's why I'm better than you," Inosuke snorts, chin hooking onto Tanjiro's shoulder. He can feel the grin on Inosuke's face against his neck, but he can also feel how Inosuke's pulse hasn't slowed down yet either.
Tanjiro laughs lightly again, nodding his affirmation and letting silence fall around them again.
It's nice, like this. If Tanjiro lets himself drift, it's almost like the past couple years never happened. It's almost like he's just having a sleep over at a friend's house, up too late and sharing secrets like they were yen. He would insist that they go to sleep because it was past their bedtime, but one wild look from Inosuke would convince him to stay awake a little longer, to let go of himself just a little more.
Tanjiro's so lost in thought, he almost doesn't hear Inosuke's weak whisper, "I only ever have the same nightmare." The confession shocks Tanjiro stiff, heart working back up to his throat. Inosuke wasn't exactly one to share about himself willingly.
A moment passes. Then two more. Encouragingly, Tanjiro rubs at Inosuke's back, hoping he'll continue.
His voice is rocky, like it's tearing apart in his throat before he can speak, "It's this demon, and I'm falling from the sky. But- I don't look at him. I just see this real pretty lady and she's crying. Reaching out to me and saying something. And then I'm drowning and I wake up." Inosuke's voice wavers about halfway through his sentence and it feels like someone's tied string around Tanjiro's heart.
"I dunno who it is or what it means but I wake up and I'm crying. Feels like someone's stabbed my tummy," Inosuke murmurs, voice thick and catching on every word. The confession hangs heavy in the air and Tanjiro knows that if he doesn't say the right thing right now, Inosuke may never trust him like this again.
"Wake me up next time," Tanjiro says, breath sticky-hot against Inosuke's neck, but neither of them care to move.
"Why? You can't do anything-"
"So you don't have to be alone." Tanjiro interrupts, hands pressed firmly into Inosuke's trembling back. "You never have to be alone now 'cause you have us. You have me and I'm not going anywhere."
Tanjiro's words feel like they echo around the room, but the room is silent. Tanjiro waits, ready to feel Inosuke to pull away, but he doesn't. They just stay pressed together, skin burning and hands shaking.
The world is vast and quiet. Tomorrow the four of them, Inosuke, Zenitsu, Nezuko, and Tanjiro, will pack up and head to the next town, the next mission, the next fight. No one wants to say it, but the missions feel like they're surmounting. Something big is coming on the horizon, and they're on the front lines.
But for now, Tanjiro just noses closer to Inosuke, smiling when he feels the hands tighten even further against his back. With any luck, the nightmares won't be back and Tanjiro will wake in the morning feeling just a little more whole than he did before.