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Bucky closed his eyes and sighed. It had been six months since he pulled Steve from the Potomac. Five months since he let himself be found by Steve and his various friends. Three months since he regained most of his memories over two agonising weeks. Just last Monday he had his final probation evaluation with various agents and psychiatrists of a slowly reconstructing S.H.I.E.L.D. Most of the main Hydra leaders had been taken care of (with help from the Winter Soldier before he was found by Steve) and it was a matter now of rebuilding and flushing out the last of the rouge agents. He had passed the evaluation with flying colours and Steve was very excited to tell him that the other Avengers had agreed to offer him a position on the team. Bucky liked Steve’s new team. They weren't the Howling Commandos of course, nothing could beat the harmony their team had, but once he got past Stark’s general dickishness and the rest of the team’s various eccentricities he found himself welcomed into the strange little family they had built for themselves.
Steve. Bucky still couldn't believe that after all these years he had his best friend back, that he still wants anything to do with him after everything Bucky has done. After all the unspeakable things he has done, all the innocent people he has killed. When he told Steve that he should want nothing to do with him he promptly told him to shut up and kissed him.
It had been exactly a week since he came out of the haze of give or take 90 years of terrible memories rushing back into his head all at once. He was chatting to Agent Barton, who was assigned to him in case anyone who held a grudge wanted to hurt him, or he decided to revert back to his old ways. They were relaxing in the main mess hall of the S.H.I.E.L.D facility Bucky was being held in for the time being. He had built up quite a rapport with Agent Barton, bonding initially over their mutual dislike of being brainwashed into doing extremely unpleasant things. After talking more they realised they had many common interests, getting into heated discussions about different sniper techniques, their love of baseball (Bucky still couldn't believe the dodgers moved to California), and the fact that they both take great joy in executing the perfect prank. He had just finished telling Barton about the time where he got Gabe and Jaques with the exploding ink and the showers (nudity and yelling was very much involved) and Barton had laughed so hard tears were streaming down his face.
“Man, I wish I could pull that one on Stark, just imagine his face oh god. But no, if I did anything like that Phil would make me sleep on the couch for sure. He still hasn't forgiven me for the cling-film over the toilet thing and come on, that’s a classic”
Bucky froze, his fork hanging in mid-air. He sets it down onto his plate and cleared his throat.
“Phil? You mean Agent Coulson?”
“The one and only” Clint replied, a slightly besotted look on his face. He noticed Bucky glancing around uncomfortably. “That isn't going to be a problem is it?”
Bucky started and turned to stare at him.
“Why are you being so open about it?” he hissed. “Anyone could hear you, you would be thrown out, hell they might even shoot you, this is kind of the military after all!”
Clint looked at him open mouthed for a few seconds, before he realised what Bucky meant. He started laughing loudly, much to Bucky’s confusion. “What the fuck is so funny Barton?”
“Christ Bucky, you really don’t know?”
Bucky shook his head, getting too angry to answer, having not a clue to what Barton meant. He was slowly being filled in on past and current affairs, things he hadn't paid any attention to when all that mattered was his next target. He wasn't as clueless as Steve, but he was nowhere near understanding every pop culture reference that people seemed to enjoy throwing his way, if people meant Stark. Damn bastard was more self-absorbed than his father.
Barton looked positively gleeful, the same look on his face as when he had announced a drinking competition between Natasha and Thor. That was the first time Bucky had met the whole team; it was an interesting experience, albeit one that he did not fancy repeating any time soon.
“Well then Buckster, guess I’d better inform you that relationships between two men or women are not generally frowned upon here in the 21st century. In fact, we’re in New York, one of the 17 states to have legalised gay marriage.”
And with that Clint stood up, clapped Bucky on the shoulder and strode of to presumably cause mischief somewhere, leaving Bucky sat in his chair shell-shocked. It was legal? Bucky came from a time when someone would be praised for beating a queer to death, and here Barton was saying that it was legal, in some places at least, for two men to get married. He stayed sat in his seat for god knows how long. The mess hall emptied and the sky outside darkened. Finally Steve walked through the doorway.
“Where have you been?” he said, “You were meant to meet me in the gym forty minutes ago remember? Clint just told me you've been sat here all this time, he seemed amused by something” he waited for a response but none came. “What have you been thinking about? Is something wr-“
“Barton said something earlier. He mentioned that he and Agent Coulson are an…item” Steve didn’t look very shocked by this fact. “You knew?”
“Not for definite, but I did have my suspicions” Steve admitted “I didn’t want to say anything to them unless I was wrong or I made it awkward. Not really my place.”
“But Steve. Queers can get married in this century. Why didn’t you tell me? I thought-oh.”
Bucky stood up abruptly. “I thought we st-- but you don’t-- never mind. Forget I said anything”. He made to walk away, unable to look at Steve. Before he could make it out of the doorway a strong hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
“Bucky. I thought you didn’t remember us, or if you did you just didn’t want it anymore. The truth is there’s nothing I want more, I will always want you. After you got your memories back you seemed so confused and disorientated and I just didn’t want to pressure you--mmph”
Steve’s rambling was cut off by Bucky’s lips on his. If they had been paying attention to anything but each other then they would have heard a triumphant ‘finally’ coming from the air duct conveniently placed above them.
Bucky snapped out of his reminiscing, coming back to his senses in the apartment he and Steve shared in Stark Tower. He was happier than he had been since it was him and Steve back in the forties. Yes, he still had black moods for days on end, and yes he woke up screaming and sweating from nightmares where he had no control over his own body once again whenever Steve was not in bed behind him, but for the most part he was all good. He and Steve were together once again, that was the main thing. After getting his bearings and settling in to this plush new world he finally felt ready enough to find out what had happened to the people that he knew before he fell and his life was taken from him. He brushed invisible crumbs off the keyboard before looking up each individual member of the Commandos. Steve had warned him beforehand that they had all gone, but he wanted to know about their lives, if they had lived long, happy lives after the war ended. He was very pleased with what he found. They had all made the most of their lives and all but Gabe and Jaques had settled down and married within ten years of disbanding.
He looked up a few other friends and acquaintances, boys he remembered from the orphanage and a few girls he had taken out for drinks and dancing more than once, but after a while he couldn’t deny he was stalling. He needed to know what became of his sister. The last time he had seen her was when she was just fifteen, before he got shipped off to the 107th and all the madness that followed. A few vague letters had managed to be exchanged after he had got rescued from Italy, but they were few and far-between due to the constantly moving duties of the Commandos. He had missed her entire life, missed her growing up into the fine young woman he could see her becoming. He finally plucked up the courage and ran a search on her name. He wasn't expecting her to be alive but there was a small part of him that hoped. After all, Peggy was alive, wasn't she? The page loaded up. Rebecca Fitzpatrick (née Barnes), born 1926, died January 1999. Dead. His baby sister was dead. He did more digging into her life, determined to find something positive. She had married an OSS agent named William ‘Wild Will’ Fitzpatrick in 1950, seemingly a celebrity in the WW2 espionage world. It turned out they had met on the job, Rebecca being one of the best code breakers around. After the organisation dissolved in 1945 they both went on to work for the CIA. Bucky felt fiercely proud of his sister. Here it was, written in plain English that she had made a difference and had helped save countless lives.
He noticed something else, a birth certificate. Mary Elizabeth Fitzpatrick, born to parents Rebecca and William Fitzpatrick on the 24th of April 1960. Bucky was an uncle. His sister may be long gone, but he had a chance to hear about her life, and be near a living, breathing blood relative. His own niece. He looks up information on Mary and clicks the first link he comes across. Richard Parker and Mary Parker (née Fitzpatrick) both went missing during early 2000, not heard from since and presumed dead.
Bucky couldn't believe it. Just when he thought something had gone right for once, that he could have some small modicum of happiness it was snatched away in an instant. Of course he couldn’t have any happiness; he was a monster, an abomination. Created solely for bringing death and destruction on whomever his creators saw fit.
Just as his thoughts were spiraling down this progressively darker route, Steve arrived with the ding of the elevator. Whatever words he was going to say died in his throat as he took one look at Bucky and rushed over to his side.
“What is it, what did you find?” He looked over to the screen and scanned each of the multitude of different tabs left open. “Your sister. Oh, Bucky.” Before he knew it, Bucky was enveloped in warm, comforting arms. What was Bucky thinking? Of course he had happiness in this century – he had an unlimited source of pure, overwhelming happiness from his very own Steve Rogers. The very same that he had defended from bullies in back alleys on an almost daily basis. So what if he had no family left? Steve had no-one else either, but they had each other. That would be more than enough; it always had been.
Steve detangled himself from the crushing grip a deep in thought Bucky had on him and took a closer look at the article of Richard and Mary Parker on the screen in front of him.
“Bucky, look – Mary, your niece, she left a son behind!”
“What?” Bucky exclaimed. He scrambled to read what Steve had noticed.
“Yep, it’s all here.” Steve said with growing excitement “they left him with some of her husband’s relatives before they vanished. Says here his name is Peter. He was four when they disappeared that makes him seventeen? Eighteen?”
Bucky’s eyes flew over the article at speed. He hadn't finished reading it before after all the information about his friends and family became too much. He realised he had another chance. He was more than content with having only Steve (and possibly the rest of his team as well, who knows?) in this strange new life, but now he knew that there was a blood relative of his out there he wanted to make the most of the opportunity.
“Peter Parker” he breathed, staring at the grainy photo of the three person family Steve had managed to dig up “I look forward to meeting you.”