Work Text:
“december 30, 2013”
9:30pm
Pledis Entertainment Rooftop
it was approximately eight months of his training period as an idol and since his birthday is two days before new year starts, Joshua Hong reflected on the things he’s grateful for.
road to being an idol is difficult. almost everyday, he thought of packing his bags back to los angeles, quit, and study a medical degree. most days, he wants to yell at his vocal coaches after they reprimand him every minute. some days, he wants to break a leg (literally) just so he has an excuse not to practice a choreography.
but, even with the hardships he experiences, he couldn’t bring himself to quit.
other than the fact that performing (singing) has always been a passion of his since he learned how to play the guitar, somebody special that’s sharing this dream, this journey, prevents him from going back to his hometown.
at this moment, that person just told him he’ll buy joshua a carrot cake at the nearest bakery and will be back in half an hour.
laying back on the mat, joshua looks up at the stars and smiled at the thought of his boyfriend.
jeonghan and him just started dating on october 4th, when the elder celebrated his birthday. whenever joshua thinks of that day, he couldn’t help but blush. he planned on confessing privately, but he ended up admitting it while the other trainees were in the room. (the room wasn't lit properly!!)
the staff and ceo don't know of their relationship whatsoever. as far as he was concerned, they know how close him and jeonghan are plus they said that it’s “good for publicity”, “ships are popular so it’ll be great for the group’s future,” or whatever.
when they said those things, joshua was firm with his decision of keeping his romantic relationship with jeonghan a secret. he doesn't want the public eye or the company to taint what they have.
actually that’s another reason why he wants to quit. he knows how people in the entertainment industry can be quite nosy in things that shouldn’t be, and joshua values his private life. but jeonghan told him, “if word does get out, joshuji, what will you do? will you break up with me?”
he replied with, “never in this lifetime or in any other life.”
weird how strong their bond is of only a few months of being friends and along the way, they became lovers.
joshua looks up at the sky and saw libra and capricorn, his and jeonghan’s zodiacs, quite far away from each other. he grimaced at this. he once read a post on Instagram that said how those two signs aren’t compatible at all and are prone to heavy, cold fights.
he saw it a week after he and jeonghan got together and though he laughed it off, jeonghan didn’t and doubted. the elder was suddenly distant and short with him and it made joshua frustrated, whom in the end, got angry at jeonghan for being easily threatened by something shallow.
he realized it later though that what the stars said had come true and he let it. he berated himself for it and went to apologized. they both did. after that fight, they made sure to communicate well and not let emotions get ahead of them.
“the stars don’t know everything...” joshua mumbles under his breath, his voice another whisper among others during the cold evening.
honestly, why did he agree to climb up the roof deck. even with his padding and gloves and scarf, he’s freezing. “hannie, where are you?”
if that asshole is taking a leisure walk, joshua’s gonna punch his gut. his love for him be damned, they’re also best friends.
a few seconds after, an out of breath yoon jeonghan came, holding two small boxes on his left hand.
“I’m sorry it took so long, jisoo-ah; the nearest bakery was closed so I had to find another one.” jeonghan explained while walking towards where joshua was sitting. As the angel plopped down, his breath still a little uneven, joshua couldn't help but feel bad for his previous thought. he leaned closer, held the elder’s hand with his, and softly kissed his cheek. “thank you, Han-ah.”
jeonghan’s cheek tinted red but returned the affection as best as he can. joshua thinks how adorable he is when he gets shy from his clinginess. joshua’s not one to initiate physical affection, but it’s different with jeonghan.
“I hope you’ll like....this cake....jisoo-ah...”
“hannie, why don’t we go inside already, hmm? you’re cold.”
“but you wanted to see Orion’s Belt!”
“I already did, Hannie, half an hour ago.”
“...”
“Hannie don’t pout. It’s okay. Let’s just go inside. I don’t want you to freeze to death.”
jeonghan was still sad he missed the opportunity to personally witness Orion’s Belt, his favorite constellation he knew of so far, but he knew if he continues to be stubborn, joshua will punch his gut.
They walked inside until they reached the practice room, letting their phone flashlights guiding them to their spot.
Since Joshua couldn't afford a plane ticket home for the holidays, he decided to just stay in the dorms. It hurt once he realized he couldn’t spend his 20th birthday with his family in LA, and it hurt even more once he realized the other trainees would get to spend the holidays with their respective families. Joshua would be alone this year.
But jeonghan didn’t allow it.
Once they made themselves comfortable at their spot, with blankets they kept inside the room for their own use only, a small carrot cake in the middle with the numbers 2 and 0 candles on it, and the warmth of their pressed bodies close together, joshua thinks that this birthday is one of his best.
they ate the cake with the utensils that came along with it, and after they were done, jeonghan gave him his present. “I hope you’ll like it, joshuji. I actually made it myself.”
jeonghan smiles at that, “then there’s no doubt I’ll love it.”
and he did.
He immediately put it on his right wrist while he gave the other pair to jeonghan who put it on his left wrist. “Friendship bracelets?” Joshua inquires, a teasing smile appears. “But aren’t we more than friends, Hannie?”
jeonghan rolled his eyes and said, “there’s another gift inside.”
confused but didn’t hesitate to look inside the box again, joshua found a tiny cloud charm with the words ‘you quit, I quit’ engraved on it. he held it between his thumb and pointer finger and looked at jeonghan, his mouth agape in shock.
“we’re in this together, joshuji. i’m not letting you go anytime soon.” jeonghan started and gave joshua a loving smile.
“the friendship bracelets are reminders for the both of us, that what we have can and will last until we grow old. but that charm means something deeper, more meaningful, more real. it doesn’t only mean I’m with you through this idol life journey, but I’m with you a hundred percent in every part of your life.”
“those words doesn’t necessarily equate to me just going with the flow with what you want, with what I want out of pure intense emotions; but it equates to a bond we share that we will talk everything out and will love each other deeply...both as best friends and as lovers.”
“I didn’t make this charm personally, joshuji, but i put a lot of thought into it.” jeonghan finished, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I love you. Very much.”
joshua hadn’t noticed he cried until he sniffed and wiped away the tears with his palm. still, no words came so he just pulled the angel for a kiss. a kiss that says, “thank you for this, for everything; I love you too.”
once he pulled back, Joshua put their foreheads together and whispered against the other’s lips and said, “you are my 20s”.
they planned to stay awake and just talk aimlessly of whatever they could think of, but they ended up sleeping in each other’s arms. Orion’s Belt had never appeared so clear that night.
“end.”