Chapter Text
"You're only with him because he's a man who does good things." Belle turned away from Esmeralda, impatiently shelving books.
"That's not true. Pheobus has plenty of positive qualities."
"Like his dick?" Belle shouted from behind the stacks.
Esmeralda blushed. "I'm not about to apologize for liking sex."
"But is the sex good enough to justify the relationship?" Belle still wasn't looking at her, hands fully engaged in their task, long delicate fingers brushing over spines.
The truth was Esmeralda wasn't sure. She had loved this when it was fun, Pheobus chasing her through the streets of Paris but she didn't want to talk about her feelings of pending ennui with Belle, who had never liked guard captain.
"I fail to see how my sex life is any of your business."
"It isn't," Belle turned to grab another stack with a grin, "but you're the one came to me complaining about her boyfriend."
"Fiancé" the correction felt defensive and unneccessary.
"Congratulations."
Esmeralda felt confusingly anxious at that. Marriage was supposed to be a celebration, the high point of her life and yet-- It felt like her life was coming to a close, peaking prematurely. She couldn't see herself as someone's wife without a sense of disappointment, like she'd been cutting off pieces of herself to fit some virtuous portrait of what a woman should be. This was the way it was supposed to be, that things were done: love, marriage, children, death. She thought about the sacrifices she'd made for this relationship already, pushing away certain friends that bent rules for ones that Pheobus would--
"Pass me that one?" Belle pointed to a book with a woman staring into the sea on the cover.
"What's it about?" Esmeralda passed it over to the bookstore clerk, not terribly interested but looking to change topics. Belle was easy to distract.
"A woman who finds herself through..." Belle stopped herself. "Actually you should read it." She passed it back to Esmeralda, finally looking back at her. "You might find it helpful right now."
"Oh?"
"Yes. And let me know what you think." Belle's fingers lingered over Esmeralda's and she seemed to realize what she was doing and quickly stepped back, embarrassed. "Please. I value your input." Her phrasing was awkward, transactional and overly formal for the setting but Esmeralda knew that Belle didn't have much experience with friends and even less with sharing her personal thoughts.
She smiled. "I will."