Chapter Text
If Sans gets into Smash, I told you lol.
I'm gonna make this longer when I have the time, I'm bored and have to get work done.
well enough of that shit, and time to start the story......
Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dQlQ2ZMvc4
(Opening context, and backstory)
A long time ago, far far away, there lived the Ogres. A race of monsterous creatures that liked gross things, and did gross stuff. They were feared by society, and seen as monsters by us men. But then, an Ogre by the name of Shrek, as fate would have it, was thrusted into a role he thought he’d never had. If you’ve seen the Shrek Saga, you know what happens to Shrek. But the thing is, in this timeline, it goes beyond what we saw in the OG Shrek saga, this is a tale that spans several franchises, and series, and spans several Universes way over the countless Millions, and way over the infinites, and way over the concept of infinite dimensions.
Beyond the realms of Shrek’s world, and several lightyears away from our Solar System, there was a race known as the Transformers. A race of sentient robots, who were at war between two different sides, the Autobots, and the Decepticons. The Decepticons eventually scammed off to the Planet of Earth, and upon arrival of Earth, they seeked conqest of the Planet, and to have absolute power. From Aztec tribes, to Kingdoms, they waged war over several places on Earth, and spread their dominance over the civillivations on Earth. The Decepticons had taken over Aztec tribes, and had noticed Aztec rituals, and had even become Gods among several Native villages, and were worshipped for their immense power over the tribesmen. Proud Decepticon soldiers like Starscream, Shockwave, Soundwave, Swindle, Motormaster, Sideways, Demolisher, Bonecrusher, and their proud leader Megatron had casually swept away several places off the map, and taken them over quite easily.
Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8TTCQZwAvE
Some places, not as easy as others, as they came guarded, and had tech and weapons that gave the Decepticons a challenge, as they somehow were stronger I guess you could say. But nah, the Decepticons were like “We’re Gods you foul creatures!” Said Starscream as ne null rayed everyone, and used durability negating attacks on everything. “Starscream, you’re a terrible leader you see! You aren’t allowed control over any of this!” Megatron snapped back at Starscream as he wiped out a legion of Native Aztec soldiers as they interrupted a sacrifice involving a stone mask. “Oh well, you just watch! Soon enough, we as Decepticons will rule this world, and I will have control over what I wish to posess!” Starscream said in return. “Oh yeah, well lets see about that…… you bitch!” Megatron replied. “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!” Starscream answered. “Don’t you wory, just worry about your own buisness.” Megatron replied. “Hey Lord Megatron, with that one Stone Mask, do you think I should keep it, use it, and analyze it for later so we can possibly use it for the future in some way?” the Decepticon Shockwave said as he walked up to Megatron and Starscream arguing. “Hm, not a bad idea Shockwave, that mask could be of great use to us! We must keep it from the Autobots though in case they find out about us.” Megatron replied devilishly. “Very well lord Megatron, as you wish.” Shockwave walked off, and took the mask with him. “That Mask must contain some sacred powers I bet. It’ll be of good use in our mission!” Starscream said as he watched Shockwave walk off. “Ah, what do you know, you won’t do jackshit for us!” Megatron said as he slapped Starscream on the back, and Starscream fell over.
Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soNidwqk1U4 all the way until 2:30.
The Decepticons continued their conquest, ruling may parts of the world, and taking over the world with their influence, and ruling the place. Until one fateful night, things would change for a somewhat good cause you could say. They eventually came across Shrek’s Swamp, which had heard about the Decepticons taking over the world. They were more battle hardened than most it seemed, they were always prepared for the fight, and had the right artilery to do the job. They were armed to the teeth with guns, dragons, swords, broken down and destroyed Robots that were repurposed for other use, etc. The Ogres proved to be a good challenge to the Decepticons it seemed, but their ferosome leader Megatron proved a bit too much for Shrek it seemed, and he ended up taking out most of Shrek’s clan of Ogres, and other friends. Megatron and his minions destroyed each of them, one by one. Shrek wanted to get back at Megatron, for taking so many of his comrades, and steeling them, and taking what he cared for, and loved. Shrek had worked for this kind of shit, and went through lots of shit to even earn what he got. Shrek wanted to get back at Megatron, and face him to earn his life savings back, and a roll of Flex Tape back since Megatron stole that too.
Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wolFdVti3nY
“Hi, Phil Swift here for Flex Tape!” Phil Swift said in a Family Guy cutaway gag. “But Shrek, that’s crazy! You can’t do that!” Donkey said while trying to persuade Shrek to not take on Megatron. “I have to, it’s the only way I can get my friends back, and take my revenge!” Shrek howled at Donkey in a very angry tone. Shrek took off, and walked towards the cold fog and walked towards a fortress the Decepticons had built. Shrek stared at the fortress gate, and clenched some fists, and braced for what he was about to do. Shrek was ambushed by Waspinator and Sorponok, as they guarded the fortress. “Hey, it’s an ogre! You shouldn’t be here!” Waspinator yelled as he saw Shrek up at the entrace. Shrek saw Waspinator charge up at him, and Shrek reacted, and tussled with Waspinator, and knocked him unconseious by charging up a nice fist full of anger, and rage of what he was feeling. Waspinator was pushed so far into the wall that he was basically unconseous, and could barely see a damn thing. “This is…. What the…. Duauhhh….” Waspinator wispered as he went unconseious, and nearly shut down.
Scorponok tried to attack Shrek, but Shrek simply deflected lasers with his fists, and broke him in half with brute strength. Shrek then walked to the throne of Megatron, who sat there, watching as Shrek walked up, with a big sword on his back, and clad in clothes that looked like something that a Final Fantasy character would be clad in, Megatron got up from the throne, and smiled. “Well, another Ogre I see. What brings you here?” Megatron said as he just got up, and smiled a bit. “I am here to take back my clan, my troop, my friends, my family, my wife, my children, you know.” Shrek said as he put on a face like Guts would. “ Oh well then, so be it! If you’d like a fight, I’m down for one!” Megatron flicked his cape off as he walked around a tiny bit, and pulled out a purple energon lightsaber of his. Shrek took out his big, ginormous Sword that looked like the Buster Sword mixed with Dragon Slayer mixed with the Monado. Shrek also had some Materia magic equipped so he’d have some hax and magic to help him out in battle. “Time for you to pay…… AS I CHARGE AT YOU!!!!!!!!!!” Shrek charged at Megatron super fast and nearly caught him off guard, but Megatron shot an unexpected blast of energy from a canon mounted on his arm. Shrek did not expect that, and was nearly caught unconscious by the blast, but managed to stay alive. Shrek opened his eyes, and looked around, and he was all fine, aside from a bit of dust on him from the explosion. “You’re safe now Shrek, everything’s fine.” a voice said in the background. “Donkey?” Shrek said, but as Shrek looked up, something was not right. He saw Donkey, but Donkey appeared with a huge hole in his body from the gunfire. “What the fuck Donkey! What is wrong with you!” Shrek yelled as he saw Donkey the way he was. “Listen Shrek, I’ve done everything I could for you Shrek, but it might be time for you to move on man. I’ve helped you, but I don’t think I can go on any longer like this. Time…. for….. You….. to write your own story Shrek…..” Donkey said as he faded away, and died in Shrek’s arms.
Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73WWpKyuWL4
“YOU FUCKING BASTARD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!!!” Shrek shouted as he let go of Donkey, and rushed towards Megatron while Megatron was staring in utter shock. “I did not expect your friend to do that for you, but he must be a really good friend I bet if he’s willing to do that for you.” Megatron said as he watched Shrek charge at him with his sword, and charged himself with more Materia, and some Limit Breaks. Shrek manages to tear off one of Megatron’s arms, and started to go right for Megatron’s head. “This is your end Megatron! One shall stand, one shall fall!” Shrek said as he pointed his sword towards Megatron’s head. But then, it felt as if the fortress was about to collapse. “Uh oh, this can’t be good….” Shrek said as he felt the whole place collapsing, and the ground cracked a bit. The ground eventually got so damaged that it collapsed in on itself, and they all fell into frigid cold water, and were all separated from each other after the drop into the frigid cold water. Megatron was only holding onto the ruined throne by a single hand, but Megatron could not focus all of his strength, and he fell into the water, and froze, and over time, he entered a coffin I guess, or something. Meanwhile, Starscream flew back to Megatron’s throne, and found the place totally destroyed looking. “Damn, look what happened here boys!” Starscream said as he called over some other Decepticons. “So, with Lord Megatron dead now, what should we do?” Bludgeon said as he transformed back into a robot. “Well, I guess you can just say……. PRAISE LORD STARSCREAM!!!!!!” Starscream laughs, as the screen cuts to the main title sequence.
Cue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49d3pZG0lXc and imagine some nice imagery with the title sequence thrown in towards the end too.
Present Day…………
New York City, New York. Except they’re far away from the city since they’re trying to hunt down a Pirate.
Shrek, Joseph Joestar, and Autbot Optimus Prime (He had a trailer on that could turn into wings and guns so that he could fly in his vehicle mode) were in the Mountains, and were in persue of a Pirate Helicopter that had stolen a Philosiphers Stone in order to take it into the Mountains, and find an ancient being supposedly somewhere in the mountains I guess, and it’s a lot like Kars from Jojo and Father from FMA. “Hey Prime, throw us down some ropes so that I can get down to the Helicopter, and get the stone!” Shrek said as he waited by one of the doors of the truck. Optimus deploys robe mechanisms from the truck so that Shrek and Joseph can hop down onto the Helicopter below. “Here you go, now go at it guys!” Optimus said as he deployed the ropes for Shrek to jump down onto the enemy Helicopter, while Joseph stayed and stayed on Optimus. “Arr shit! You just Invaded the ship of Captain Hol Horse Mista Mista!” the Captain started to attack Shrek, but Shrek was very skilled, and dodged the sword.
“Shrek, remember the plan, take the stone, blow the ship, and lets go, nothing too difficult, we don’t have much time, so hurry up, or we’re dead.” Joseph said through the microphone to Shrek. “Hey, might as well have a bit of fun with the job, eh?” Shrek comments as he gets into a battle stance, and fights with the Captain. The fight itself isn’t anything special, but it was pretty good I guess, with some kicks, punches, clashes between weapons, you name it. “Sorry Captain, but it’s time to go, better out than in I always say!” Shrek grabs the stone, drops the bomb, and heads the hell out of the Helicopter as it explodes, and calls it a day.”
Shrek gets back to Joseph and Optimus on Optimus’s flying truck mode. “Shrek, are you crazy! You could’ve lost your life, or the stone back there!” Joseph exclaimed at Shrek and Shrek settled down back on the truck, and set some of his things down, including the Philosiphers Stone. “I mean, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened on a mission. We’ve already saved the world on three seperate occasions.” Shrek said as he laid down on a seat in the truck. “But that cost you the life of Rebel Trooper, ‘member?” Joseph answered Shrek back. Shrek started to get a bit worked up over his comment, and got pretty pissed to the point of breaking a few things, and accidentally throwing the Philosiphers Stone into the abyss of the mountains. Shrek recovers himself, and looks around the place, seeing what he had done. “Shrek no! You idiot!” Joseph exclaimed as he saw the Philosiphers Stone drop to the depths of the mountains. Shortly after this horried event, Shrek decided to take things over to the Speedwagon foundation office.
Much later, and we’re finally in the Speedwagon foundation office in New York City. “Did you want to speak with me sir?” Shrek asked in a distressed tone as he walked into the room with his head bowed. “Ah yes, Agent Shrek sir! I heard about that one adventure you and Joseph went on when trying to get a Philosiphers Stone. You had a fit of anger and rage, correct Shrek? From what I hear, that’s what happened.” said none other than Lutenent Roy Mustang. Shrek took a deep breath, clenched his fists, and collected himself a bit, and made sure to admit the truth. “Yes sir. I did.” Shrek responded in a low voice, and sighed a little bit. “What’s wrong with you Shrek? You’re not like this Shrek, don’t lose yourself like this Shrek, we know you can be a good agent, you just have to use your potential that God gave you, and to learn from your mistakes.” Roy responded to Shrek in a voice that wasn’t too angry, but just wanted to make Shrek come to terms with himself. Shrek does not answer, and beings to breath heavily, sweat, and was apparently developing a few tears it seemed. “Easy there Shrek, I know this isn’t easy, but you got to get yourself back together.” said Roy as he tried to comfort Shrek about the situation at hand. Shrek then develops a sudden burst of rage, and unleashes it “GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU BITCH!” Shrek shouted as he tried to get Roy away from him. Roy Mustand looked at Shrek, concerned, and was a bit sweaty from the things he now felt he had to say. “Well, I’m sorry to do this to you. You’ve been of great help to us, but I sadly got to say it….. You’re fired from the Speedwagon Foundation.” Lutenant Roy Mustang says as he looks at Shrek, and picks him up off the ground. “But…. but you can’t! I’ve been one of the foundations best agents, and I’ve helped the place in many unimagineable ways! You can’t do this! I bet the Philosophers Stone is still out there, and no evil civilization will try to hunt it down, and take over the world, and we can probably still find it!” Shrek exclamed in utter shock of what he had just heard. “I’m sorry, it’s our only choice at this point. I love you as an agent too, but this is all we can do.” Roy Mustang said as he laid his hand on Shrek’s shoulder, and Shrek looked towards the window, and growled angrily.
Riza Hawkeye, Roy Mustang, and Joseph Joestar all accompany Shrek to the exit, Shrek wore a nice black jacket like that of Jotaro Kujo, and put on the same attire that he’d wear in Part 3 of Jojo. “Sorry to see you go my friend, but this is the best thing we can do sadly.” Riza said as she laid her hand on Shrek’s tall shoulder, and spoke calmly. “See you my old partner, this was quite the fun run.” Joseph said as he said his final good byes to his Ogre friend. “It was nice having you here too Shrek. I really do hope you can do good, and find something nice to do for the place, I know how you feel.” Roy said as he smiled, and tried to cheer Shrek up a bit. “I should be good. I just gotta find something to do, then I’ll be all good men.” Shrek said as he tipped his hat toward his friends. Shrek walked off into the fog, and waved off to his hold comrades from the Foundation.
Shrek walks through the fog, and walks through it a lot, admiring the view of the city streets, containing buildings, dogs, cats, street performers, and a billion other things. Suddenly, after a long walk in the fog, he was back at his appartements building. Shrek goes into the Apartement building, and walks on into the lobby of the place, and takes a nice stroll around the place, admiring the lobby, the smell, and how nice looking the place looked. It was like staying at a decent hotel in a City. Shrek grabbed a nice snack of Mike and Ikes from a vending machine, and strolled on up to the elevator, and up to his room.
“Shrek was waiting for you…..” a mysterious voice said from out of nowhere. Shrek stood there, chilled to the bone, and totally confused and unsure as to what was going on. Shrek just shook out the idea, and went ahead with his objective. Shrek got to his Appartement room, and unlocked it with his key. Shrek came into his appartement somewhat wet, shut the door behind him, and saw that in his appartement, was the Rebel leader Princess Liea. “Princess? How did you get in here?” Shrek said in a confused tone, unsure as to what she was doing in Shrek’s appartement area. “I need your help here Shrek, the President of the United States has been kidnapped just this afternoon, and he is at risk.” Liea tells Shrek as she hands a box with photos to Shrek. “Cory Baxter? But he was my best friend? How could this happen to him!” Shrek stands there shocked, and nearly tearing up at what he had seen. “We have no proof as to who did this, and there is nothing to confirm who comitted this crime, but there are assumptions that someone was hired by that Starscream fella. He’s always trying to make a big name for himself it seems.” Leia says as she hands Shrek a folder over to him. “What we do have proof of, is a secret weapon that Sheev Palpatine built, and is planning to use it to assisst him in his conquest, and destroy the white house. If maybe you could help our somehow, that could be nice, or can you help out?” Leia tells shrek as Shrek grabs the folder. “I can’t really help out unfortunately. I was fired from the Speedwagon Foundation just today, and I doubt they’ll allow me back. I’m retired from all that shit.” Shrek replied as he sat down on a chair, took his hat and jacket off, and got down to his white dress shirt, and vest. “Well, we don’t need the Speedwagon Foundation, all we need is someone willing to help us out.” the Princess said as she took a tiny walk back and forth while talking with Shrek. “.....Well, time to reassemble the old team I guess.” Shrek said upon squeezing a picture of Cory.
Later, Shrek was in his bed watching television, and seeing the news on the new events surrounding Cory’s kidnapping “Several people have been acting strangely over a large floating robotic moon looking thingy that’s in our Solar System as we speak, politicians are discussing left and right what this thing might be, and what it may be doing.” said the announcer on Fox News. Shrek gets on his phone, and Shrek decides to text his old friend Barry Benson, but he does not get an answer. “Hi Barry? It’s Shrek here, I know we’ve not spoken for a long time, but you have to get over the death of Johnny Test, it was not your fault, but I need to form the team again. Cory is in danger of death, and we don’t have much time left, if you get this message, please answer, I need your help. I’ll even contact another old friend to further persuade you to come back.” Shrek left a message for Barry. Shrek decided to meditate on his thoughts a little bit, and possibly discover any new powers he might have had lurking within him. He could almost feel a spiritual force as he meditated, and could feel it’s presance, almost as if it was helping him meditate. Shrek eventually got out of bed, and took his coat and hat with him. "Of course not, I would not let a tyrant hurt our planet earth, of course I control everything in order, for something I'm the chosen one. Believe me, everything that opposes, will be eliminated, our world has to be cleansed of the unwanted. I do the best for me. Till All Are.... "- Shrek sees talking to Starscream on television and turns it off. “Ah Starscream, you’ve always wanted to make something big of yourself, but never have.
Shrek goes outside, to see it still raining and foggy as last time, and Shrek waits in a corner for a taxi. A car eventually pulls up, but it’s no ordinary taxy, but it’s a cop car, and it doesn’t have a driver apparently. “Who is this?” Shrek asks as he see an empty Cop car pull up next to him. “The name’s Autobot Prowl sir. I’ve been a worker for Optimus for a long long time man, and I just decided to come pick you up, as I hear from Leia that you’re planning to save Cory Baxter.” Prowl said as he stopped by Shrek. “Ah, I guess you’ll make good assistance for us, and can possibly join in our mission.” Shrek said as he got into the car. Now, take us to New Mexico, a friend of mine got arrested again it seems.” Shrek said as he tipped his hat in the car. “Very well then, I will do so.” Prowl said, and ignited up the engines, and flew the hell off.
To be continued…….. In Chapter 2.