Chapter Text
The first time it happens, Naruto brings home a quiet mousey boy with red hair.
Iruka is standing at the kitchen sink - fighting with the garbage disposal that somehow works in reverse, and loves to spit old dirty water everywhere - when the back door bangs open.
"Kurama!" Iruka yells, as he hears rather than sees the red furred dog run into the house and through the kitchen, trailing muddy paws behind him. "Oh god dammit-"
Iruka curses under his breath, and covers his hands over the sink once more as water sprays in his face. "Naruto! Get your dog!"
"I'm home!" Naruto yells into the kitchen, as he follows in behind the dog. His voice is loud and cheerful as always, unfazed by Iruka's own hasty yells.
"Can you-" Iruka sputters as he finally manages to turn off the garbage disposal. "Can you please keep Kurama outside? He's filthy."
Iruka came home from work to find the pup rolling around in a puddle in their backyard. A puddle not caused by rain, but yet again another sewage issue - something Iruka has become way too familiar with. Apparently living on the first floor of a condo building meant that any time any unit had a backed up toilet, it somehow got flooded into their backyard. When Iruka got the place he thought he was so lucky to even have a yard - a plus compared to his last 3rd floor apartment - but in reality it's turned out to be a real pain in his ass.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll get him," Naruto grumbles, and whistles for the dog to come to him. Kurama - a shelter dog they adopted just a year after Iruka adopted Naruto - clamors to the boy's feet, and Naruto ushers him out the door with promises of lots of treats later.
It isn't until the door is slammed shut that Iruka finally looks up and-
"Oh," Naruto isn't alone. He’s brought a friend home with him, a friend Iruka doesn't recognize, a friend who is holding...something...
"What is that?" Iruka blurts, eyeing the clear plastic container in the boy's hand. It has a yellow perforated lid, bits of wood chips at the bottom, and something ugly covered in spikes sitting in the center. Iruka jumps as the creature shifts, stuffed in its small confinement. All he can see is a long tongue, claws, and a big thick tail.
"Iruka, this is Gaara," Naruto introduces his friend absentmindedly (his human friend - not the freaky thing he's holding, Iruka assumes.) The boy offers him a nod in return. "We're gonna be in my room."
Without any other explanation, he grabs his friend's arm and begins to drag him in the direction of his bedroom, clearly trying to rush past Iruka before he can ask any other questions.
"Ok hold up," Iruka isn't having it. Both boys stop in their tracks and turn back to look at him with blank expressions. Iruka sighs, afraid to even ask. "What is that thing?"
"It's a horned desert lizard," Naruto explains. "Gaara doesn't have a big enough tank for him so we're gonna put him in mine with Saiken and see if they get along."
"Right," Iruka says, because of course. He should have known.
The continuous rotation of animals coming into his home isn't even a surprise anymore, and honestly Iruka can't even be mad about it. Naruto loves animals - even before he adopted him, when Naruto was still just his student, he would always bring little creatures into Iruka's classroom. It's a trait he never grew out of, and instead grew more into. Iruka loves the big soft heart Naruto has, but sometimes it gets to be ridiculous. Iruka doesn't even remember who or what Saiken is. Maybe the snake, or the iguana, or the turtle, or who knows what, because Naruto has so many cages and tanks in his room - and that combined with the heat lamps and plants - it might as well be a freaking jungle in there.
His eyes shift between the two boys curiously. More interesting than the bizarre animal, is his friend. Iruka has met most of Naruto's friends - taught most of them himself when they were children actually - but this boy is new.
The boy - Gaara - has bright red hair and black smudged under his eyes, making the pale green of them stand out dramatically in an almost eerie fashion. The black hoodie he's wearing has an embroidered red rose on the front, and his faded blue jeans have holes in the knees. The brown combat boots on his feet have yellow laces. He is a stark contrast next to Naruto, who is wearing a pink tie-dye t-shirt and aqua blue sweatpants with clear jelly sandals.
Iruka lets out a deep sigh, knowing that once again he's just going to have to accept this new addition into his home. "Alright, fine, whatever."
Naruto flashes him a peace sign, the many beaded bracelets on his wrist clinking together as he does, and quickly escorts his friend out the room.
Iruka huffs and goes back to cleaning up the mess on his kitchen counter, then lazily drags a paper towel under his foot to clean up the paw prints left behind by Kurama. After he's done, he plops down at the kitchen table to try and focus on grading some papers, and it isn't until Kakashi comes walking through the backdoor that he realizes almost two hours have passed by.
"Don't let Kurama in," Iruka says to him without even lifting his head up. He hears Kakashi's hushed voice as he speaks to the dog, before quickly getting inside and shutting the door behind him. Iruka wishes the deadbolt on their front door wasn't jammed. Using the backdoor all the time has become more annoying than anticipated.
"What'd he do?" Kakashi asks, walking directly over to the fridge.
"There's a sewage issue," Iruka mumbles into his papers.
"Again?" Kakashi says as he rummages around, gathering various items of food.
Iruka sighs, not even wanting to comment on that - because yes, again and he's fucking pissed about it. He's only been in this condo for 4 years, and it just seems like issue after issue keeps popping up day after day. At the time he was so excited to find a two bedroom condo with a yard that he could afford for him and Naruto, but it's become nothing but a headache. He wishes he had the luxury of waiting to find something better, but he wanted to adopt Naruto right away, and couldn't while he was in his shitty one bedroom apartment at the time. So when he found this he jumped on it as fast as he could, not wanting to miss his chance.
It was nice, for a while, but now...
"What do you want for dinner?" Kakashi asks, changing the conversation.
"I dunno," Iruka mumbles, rubbing at his temple. He isn't really hungry, and doesn’t really want to think about food - having too much other stuff on his mind to begin with. He needs to call maintenance to complain about the sink and the yard, get these papers finished, and make sure Naruto gives Kurama a bath-
Right. Naruto still has his friend over. Iruka almost forgot all about them - they've been so quiet. So quiet that it's actually suspicious, now that Iruka thinks about it. Naruto isn't quiet.
"Naruto has a boy in his room," Iruka says suddenly, the thought hitting him like a slap to the face.
"Oh?" Kakashi hums absentmindedly from his place at the island counter. He has onions and peppers out on the cutting board.
"They've been in there for two hours," Iruka says. Weren't they playing with a lizard or something? Surely that doesn't take two hours. What else is there to do in Naruto's room?
"So?" Kakashi asks. "How does turkey burgers sound?"
"So?" Iruka repeats with exasperation in his voice. "He's never done that before!"
"He has friends over all the time," Kakashi points out.
Iruka rolls his eyes. "Not in his room."
Naruto having friends over isn't uncommon, but them being in his room, and for this long, is. Iruka is used to them hanging out on the couch and playing video games, or sitting at the kitchen table and eating all his food, or lounging in the backyard around their firepit - not in his bedroom.
Kakashi gives him a look that Iruka could only describe as pity - a look that also confirms Iruka's fears. "Iruka, he's 16."
"I know but," Iruka trails off thoughtfully.
Naruto has never shown any interest in any other boys before. His long-standing crush on Sasuke fell to pieces when the other boy shot Naruto down in 9th grade, just before high school. Iruka will never forget how heartbroken Naruto had been. He doesn't know the full story, but he knows enough. He could tell something was wrong by the sudden shift in Naruto's attitude - how he had been distant and quiet - and then when Iruka realized Sasuke was no longer coming over to hang out anymore, it all clicked together.
This is the first time since then that he's brought a boy home who isn't Shikamaru or Choji, and Iruka isn't sure what to make of it.
"Well, I'm sure it's nothing," Kakashi says to break up Iruka's paranoid thoughts. "Now, do you want turkey burgers or not?"
"Yes, that sounds good thank you," Iruka sighs, dejected.
They drop the subject as Kakashi begins to prepare the food and Iruka goes back to his papers. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Kakashi comes over and cooks dinner for them. It’s a routine that started right after Iruka moved into the new place - once Naruto was all settled and officially under his custody - when the three of them had dinner together for the first time.
"So, you'll be here for dinner more often?" Was the first thing Naruto said after Iruka told him that Kakashi was his boyfriend.
Iruka just looked at Kakashi dumbly, and Kakashi simply shrugged.
"Is that what you want?" Kakashi asked tentatively, also unsure.
Naruto just continued to eat, and with a mouth full told him, "if you're gonna cook? Hell yeah!"
Iruka would have taken offense to Naruto's apparent dislike of his own cooking, but he can't help but agree. Food still isn't really his thing, and if it were up to him they'd be living off of cereal and cup ramen. So from then on, it was decided that Kakashi would come over and cook three times a week minimum, and it's been like that ever since.
That dinner feels like yesterday, not four years ago, and Iruka can't even wrap his mind around how much Naruto has grown in such a short amount of time. Even as he looks down at his papers - at the messy handwriting of his students - he is able to vividly recall Naruto's illegible scrawl in their place. Now, he's out of middle school and already in his first year of highschool. It's totally surreal to think about.
"I just think he's too young still, is all," Iruka mumbles into the silence, not being able to keep his thoughts quiet any longer.
Kakashi looks up from the counter with an amused expression, clearly not agreeing.
"You're not making me feel better," Iruka grumbles, already hearing Kakashi's argument without him needing to say it.
Kakashi gives him a little smile. "I don't know what you're worried about. He can handle himself."
Iruka rests his head in his palm. He's right. Naruto is responsible, even if he is a little slow sometimes. His prankster attitude has dissipated throughout the years, now that he actually has things to put his energy into. He volunteers at the animal shelter, took up jujutsu at Kakashi's dojo, plays on the soccer team, and is in the debate club at school. He also is constantly doing various other volunteer work in the city, whether it be local LGBT organizations or local neighbor gardens or anything - he is always doing something. Iruka could not be any more proud of him.
This is the first time he's had to think about Naruto dating though, and the closed door to his bedroom feels like an ominous threat.
"I guess I just don't want to admit he's getting older," Iruka finally comes out and says it, feeling a little pathetic even as he does. "I feel like- I feel like I just got him. I don't want to lose him to a boyfriend so quickly."
"Ah," Kakashi doesn't look up from his food prep, but nods thoughtfully, understanding. "You'll always be his father Iruka."
That makes Iruka smile. The fact that Kakashi can just say it so easily like that. That word. Father. Iruka still feels funny hearing it. His chest gets tight just thinking about it. He still doesn't feel like a 'dad' really. Sure, he is Naruto's guardian, he takes care of him, and he has a love for him that is larger than that of family but…
Father.
Naruto still calls him Iruka after all, not that Iruka minds. It took him months to even drop the sensei since he was so accustomed to saying it.
"I know," Iruka agrees after a moment, then lets out an exasperated huff. "I just, like, what am I even supposed to do? My parents were dead before I even knew what dating was. I don't even have an example to go off of."
Kakashi chuckles. "Hey, you and me both."
Iruka looks over at him with a fond smile. Some pair they make. Kakashi returns it and holds his gaze - his eyes saying more than any words he could offer outloud.
The last four years with Kakashi have been good. Iruka loves him, he really really does, and he knows Kakashi loves him back. He is so happy to have him by his side through all this, and he truly can't imagine doing it with anyone else. Iruka bites his lip as he eyes the other man, lets his gaze drop to his chest and then down his arms - where his sleeves are rolled up from preparing dinner - and god even after all this time the fire in his gut has not subsided even a little bit.
"Stop it," Kakashi chastises him, and goes back to focusing on cutting.
"What?" Iruka asks innocently.
Kakashi shakes his head, but the fond smile hasn't left his face. "I know that look. Control yourself."
Iruka's grin spreads into something wicked. "What if I don't want to control myself?"
Kakashi pauses his prep to look at him, and Iruka can tell he is contemplating his next move. He knows it isn't realistic, with Naruto and his friend being in the next room, but it's quiet and there is no harm in some fun at least.
Iruka decides to give him a little push. "What are you gonna do about it, huh? You gonna make me?"
He can practically hear the growl in Kakashi's throat, and Iruka feels absolutely giddy with it - delighted at how easy it still is to get the other man riled up. Kakashi grips the edge of the counter, his chest rises and falls with a deep breath, and he is about to say something back when suddenly they are no longer alone in the room.
"Iruka can I borrow the car?" Naruto interrupts them loudly. His friend trails behind him silently. "I gotta take Gaara home and the next bus isn't for another hour."
"Oh," Iruka clears his throat, trying quickly to shift gears. "Um, sure, you're leaving already? Kakashi is making dinner, you can stay."
Both boys turn to look at Kakashi, and Gaara's face almost goes as red as his hair upon seeing the other man.
"Gaara," Kakashi says first, offering a small nod in greeting.
"K-Kakashi-sensei." Gaara mumbles, embarrassed to be spotted by one of his teachers. Iruka sometimes forgets Kakashi teaches at the same school Naruto goes to. Considering Naruto isn't in any of Kakashi's classes - he teaches AP literature, and Naruto struggles with regular literature let alone Advanced Placement literature - it isn't something that always comes up at home. Iruka perks up at the idea of Kakashi possibly knowing this mystery boy, while Naruto rolls his eyes - clearly not finding it as interesting as Iruka.
"Why don't you stay?" Iruka says again, trying to encourage them to sit and eat. "You just got here, aren't you hungry? We have enough food right, Kakashi?"
"Nah we're good," Naruto doesn't give him a chance to answer. He nudges Gaara with an elbow. "You said you had to be home right?"
Gaara nods. "Y-yes, my uncle is expecting me for dinner."
"Well, ok," Iruka finally accepts. He stands up to get his bag hanging by the door and pulls out his keys. Before he can say anything else, Naruto is snagging them out of his hand and rushing outside, grabbing Gaara's hoodie sleeve and pulling him along with him.
"Thanks Iruka! Save me dinner!"
"Don't be out late!" Iruka calls out the door after him. "Kurama still needs a bath!"
He shuts the door with a sigh, and practically jumps out of his skin when two arms slide around his waist.
"Kakashi-"
Kakashi presses his front against his back - buries his face into his neck and breathes hotly over his skin.
"Is this what you want?" Kakashi says - his voice suddenly deep and gruff - making the atmosphere shift in the room so fast that Iruka's head spins. Kakashi's hands dig into his hips roughly, and he grinds his pelvis against his ass. "You want me to put you in your place?"
Goosebumps rise on Iruka's skin and his knees go weak - Kakashi's voice never failing to have an effect on him. He bites his lip. "I'd like to see you try."
Kakashi chuckles, and his breath against Iruka's skin makes him shiver again. "Well you’re outta luck. 'Cause that's the last thing I want. I love it when you're outta control. Drives me fucking crazy, you know that? I'd be fucking mad to stop you."
"Hmm, good cause you can't." Iruka teases as he cranes his neck to give Kakashi better access, and practically purrs at the attention. Even after being together for years Kakashi still catches him by surprise, still makes his heart flutter and stomach flip.
"No?" Kakashi asks, and Iruka can feel his smile.
"No," Iruka answers, then bats him away as he unlocks himself from Kakashi's grip. "Now, cut it out."
"Why?" Kakashi mopes. He keeps a hand around Iruka's wrist and tries to tug him back into an embrace.
"Because," Iruka fights back with a small laugh. "Naruto will be back any minute."
Kakashi successfully manages to pull Iruka towards him again, and this time when their bodies meet they are facing each other. They share a small chaste kiss, and Kakashi smiles against Iruka's lips.
"How bout a quickie?"
That makes Iruka laugh for real, and he throws his head back with a shout. "No!"
Kakashi sticks out his bottom lip in a pout. "C'mon, they'll be a while."
"You don't know that," Iruka says, and then kisses the pout off his face. "Plus, your quickies are actually pretty fucking long."
Kakashi's smile widens as he fails to hide his pride. His arms around Iruka's waist tighten, and he sways on the spot making Iruka move with him. They're faces are close, foreheads touching. "You know he took your car so they could make out in it right? They'll be a while."
"What?" Iruka pulls back, surprised by the matter of fact statement. "You think?"
Kakashi nods decisively. "I've seen them around school together. Definitely."
"What?!" Iruka says again, louder this time. "You saw Naruto with a boy and didn't tell me?"
"Hey, what happens at school stays at school," Kakashi raises a hand, like saying an oath.
"Oh my god," Iruka groans, finally just accepting it. Naruto is a teenager and is officially dating. He is meeting boys and going out with them and doing god knows what and it makes Iruka nervous and worried but he's happy for him at the same time.
"Now c'mon," Kakashi plants a tiny kiss on his nose. "Are we so old that our son gets more action than we do or what?"
Our son.
Iruka knows Kakashi is just saying it generally, that he doesn't really mean it like that, but…
Our son.
He wraps his arms around Kakashi's neck, kisses him hard and dives in deep, steals his breath and makes Kakashi gasp with the sudden force of it.
"What about dinner?" Iruka asks hurriedly against his lips.
Kakashi pushes back, meets Iruka's urgency with his own, and lets their tongues glide together before forcing himself away to answer. "It can wait."
"You won't burn the place down?" Their bodies are flush together now, and Iruka can't help but grind his hips to meet the other man's, welcoming the painfully maddening friction between them.
"I turned everything off the second you started eyeing me like that," Kakashi responds, like it's obvious.
Iruka wants to be mad that the other man was so sure of himself, but he's too turned on to care.
He kicks his legs up, gets them wrapped around Kakashi's waist, and then gets his hands in his hair and pulls. When he speaks his breath is hot against Kakashi's lips. "Then fuck me already."
"Yes sir," Kakashi answers, and carries him to the bedroom.
The next time it happens, it’s a boy from Naruto's jujutsu class.
"Oh, you're home early," Iruka says as he adjusts the duffle bag on his shoulder, having just gotten home from the gym. Naruto usually takes the bus home from his jujutsu class, and typically doesn't get home til well after Iruka, so he is surprised to see him already at home. He is especially surprised to see him lounging on the couch with someone sitting cozy right next to him.
Neji - Iruka recognizes him from the dojo - is a tall slender boy with long black hair and a serious face. He knows he trains under Gai with Naruto, but he’s never seen them 'hang out' outside of that environment, and from what Iruka can tell, they seem to be polar opposites. Naruto is sitting with his legs spread wide on the couch, wearing a neon green zebra striped long sleeve shirt, orange shorts, and knee high purple socks with his trademark jelly sandals. Next to Neji - who is wearing black jeans and a denim jacket over a white hoodie - he looks like a freaking highlighter. Their legs are touching.
"Yeah, Gai-sensei offered us a ride," Naruto answers. Neji gives him a small wave in greeting.
"Oh," Iruka feels his face flush. "Gai was here?"
Ever since Kakashi told Iruka about Gai's... equipment he can't help but get flustered around the other man. It's caused some awkward run-ins at the dojo. Kakashi thinks it's hilarious.
"He just dropped us off," Naruto responds, staring straight ahead at the TV. There's a wrestling match on the screen, and Iruka watches as one man gets power slammed into the mat before clearing his throat.
"Will you be staying for dinner?"
He directs his question to Neji, who's side is still pressed into Naruto's. If they thought their close proximity was suspicious, they don't show it by shying away, instead acting oblivious to their closeness.
Neji picks his phone up off his lap and eyes the screen. "No thank you. I have to be home soon."
"Ok, well, you're welcome to stay," Iruka says, and dismisses himself to his bedroom.
Iruka gets changed out of his sweaty gym clothes, and adamantly tries not to listen to any little sound that comes out of the living room. He doesn't want to be nosey, but he also can't help but be curious. Maybe he's reading too much into things, maybe it's just a coincidence that Naruto is suddenly getting a little closer with his classmates and hanging out more, maybe it doesn't mean he's dating them…
When Iruka is finished, he quietly makes his way back out into the living room - planning to head straight into the kitchen to heat up some leftovers - and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of Naruto and Neji sitting even closer than before. In fact they are practically on top of each other, and despite Neji's long hair blocking most of the view, they are absolutely definitely kissing.
For a brief second Iruka really isn't sure what to do. It takes the wrestling match still playing on the TV to bring him back to reality - the 3 count and the ding ding ding from the bell knocking him out of his thoughts. Iruka tiptoes back down the hall, then opens his bedroom door just to slam it shut again, hoping they'll hear it.
He waits a second before coming back into the living room, and sure enough, this time they are apart again. Iruka lets out a sigh of relief - since he still isn't entirely ready to have that conversation with Naruto - and tries to appear as casual as possible as he slips past them to the kitchen. Neither of them bother to pay him any attention, and just continue to sit and watch TV. Neji comments about an improper application of a rear chin lock and Naruto laughs loudly at him, "You're such a buzzkill! Wrestling is supposed to be fun, ya know!"
Again, Iruka tries to ignore any sounds he can hear while he preps dinner in the kitchen, and he also tries not to overthink what this means. So Naruto has a boyfriend. That's ok. There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean Naruto is suddenly an adult and doesn't need him anymore...right?
The food is in the microwave and he has his phone out to text Kakashi when Naruto and Neji walk into the kitchen. They make a direct bypass to the backdoor, and Neji tells Iruka a polite "thank you," before leaving. Their goodbyes are quick and ordinary. Nothing special to indicate any deeper feelings.
"What's for dinner?" Naruto asks as he turns back to Iruka.
"It's in the microwave," Iruka answers, glancing at his phone to see Kakashi's string of kissy face emojis before shoving it in his pocket.
"Good, 'm starving," Naruto mumbles as he heads towards the fridge. He pulls out a jar of pickles and starts to eat one while still standing in front of the open door.
Iruka gives him a disapproving look. "Can you not put your grimey fingers in there? I just told you dinner will be ready soon anyway."
"'M hungry now," Naruto says around a mouthful. "N' my hands are clean, ya know."
He makes a show of licking the pickle juice that has dripped down his palm to prove his point, and then puts the jar away. When he sees Iruka's disgusted face he grins at him wide and obnoxious.
Iruka rolls his eyes, but before he can say anything else the microwave dings. He gets the food out and separates the portions on two plates. Kakashi is volunteering at the shelter, so it's just him and Naruto tonight. They stay standing at the kitchen island and eat - quick and casual, both of them feeling no need to sit and get comfortable.
They eat in silence for a moment, and Iruka eyes Naruto curiously. He figures now might be as good a time as any.
"So," Iruka starts, getting Naruto's attention. The boy is shoving rice in his mouth as he leans heavily onto the countertop, and he looks up at Iruka in question. "You and Neji?"
Naruto pauses. Iruka can see the gears turning in his head. "Me and Neji what?"
Iruka averts his eyes - not sure how to say it. God, he feels so stupid. How are these conversations supposed to go?
He shrugs. "Are you guys...you know?"
Naruto narrows his eyes at him and stands up straight. "We're friends."
"Just friends?" Iruka pries.
Naruto sighs, clearly annoyed. "Yes."
Iruka puts his hands up, already sensing Naruto's defensiveness. "I'm just asking. It's ok if you're more than friends."
"We aren't," Naruto reiterates, this time with more force in his voice.
"Ok," Iruka says, also starting to get annoyed. "Then what's on your neck?"
Naruto's eyes go wide. His hand shoots up and covers the dark bruise that has formed there, apparent even against his tan skin. The fact that he knew exactly what Iruka was talking about without looking confirms what it is. A hickie.
"Nothing," Naruto tries to say anyway.
Iruka gives him a sympathetic look. "Naruto, if you're dating you can tell me-"
"We aren't," Naruto says again, dropping his hand and avoiding Iruka's gaze.
Iruka furrows his brow at him. "You don't have to lie, Naruto, I don't care-"
"I'm not lying!" Naruto raises his voice this time. He picks up his plate and goes to toss it in the sink, apparently finished with his dinner. "It's just not a big deal, ok?"
"Ok fine," Iruka gives in. "If you say so."
Naruto lets out a frustrated huff, then heads to the door.
"'M gonna take Kurama for a walk," he grumbles, and then leaves before Iruka can protest.
Once the door is slammed shut Iruka slumps down on the counter, face buried in his hands. Why would Naruto lie to him? He caught them making out! There is even evidence! Does Naruto not trust him as much as he thought? Iruka's stomach drops at the thought.
Agitated, he cleans up his dinner - no longer feeling hungry - and then texts Kakashi.
Naruto is mad at me for pointing out his hickie
Naruto has a hickie? Lol
It's not funny!
Neji was over and I asked if they were dating
and he got all mad
Neji from Gai's class?
Yeah
Ha that's great. I can't wait to tell Gai.
I feel like you arent getting this
He's mad at me
He'll be fine. He's probably just embarrassed.
Naruto embarrassed?
Rowdy, boisterous Naruto who can't keep his big loud mouth shut? Naruto, who walks around like a freaking crayola factory blew up on him? Naruto, who thrives off of being both seen and heard ? Yeah, Naruto doesn't embarrass easily.
Youre right sorry idk he'll come to you when hes ready.
Teenagers are weird.
Iruka sighs. Maybe that's true. He really can't do anything else at this point but wait. He doesn't want to be one of those parents that are distant from their children, or that their kid feels like they have to hide bits of their lives from, but he doesn't want to be overbearing either. He wants to make sure Naruto feels comfortable coming to him with anything, but he just isn't sure how to go about it.
Look at this dog.
Kakashi sends him a picture of himself holding a very tiny, very extremely fluffy, white dog in his hand. He holds it against his chest as he takes the selfie, and they almost look like mirrors of each other with their wild hair sticking up in the air.
Iruka smiles, knowing Kakashi is just trying to distract him.
Cute
The dog is cute too
Youre cute.
Come over tonight
Hmmm maybe.
Iruka sends a sad face emoji.
I'm behind on grading.
Kakashi sends, and adds a puking emoji next to it. Iruka rolls his eyes at his screen, because Kakashi always waits to the last minute to get his work done.
If I finish early I'll come by.
Iruka sends a blushy-smiley face in response to that, knowing it probably won't happen. It isn't that Kakashi doesn't spend the night a lot, cause he does, he just can't all the time. They pretty much have a routine in place that Kakashi will spend the night whenever he cooks, and occasionally - now that Naruto is older - Iruka will try and spend some nights at Kakashi's on the weekends.
It works for them. Kakashi has his home and all his dogs there, and Iruka has his condo with Naruto. It just wouldn't make sense for all of them to be cramped in one of their homes together. It would probably be chaos actually. Yeah. Iruka doesn't mind their set up, even if he misses Kakashi some nights.
Naruto comes home just about two hours later, and doesn't say anything to Iruka as he passes him in the living room and goes straight to bed. Iruka tries not to think about it, knowing that Kakashi is right and Naruto will talk to him when he is ready...he hopes.
That night, Iruka is pulled out of his sleep by the sound of his bedroom door opening. He doesn't even bother to open his eyes, and just smiles to himself as he hears the rustling of clothes and feels his bed dip.
"Couldn't finish early, huh?" Iruka says into the darkness.
"No," Kakashi grumbles, and curls up behind Iruka as he wraps an arm around him. "Kids are fucking dumb, you should see these papers I had to read."
Iruka chuckles. "I can imagine."
Kakashi simply hums and snuggles against him, pressing his face into Iruka's hair and gripping him tight. Iruka takes hold of the hand at his stomach, and falls back asleep.
The third time it happens is the absolute worst.
Iruka gets home earlier than usual. He skipped his usual routine of staying after class to prepare for the next day - frustrated from dealing with some particularly rowdy students - and instead headed straight home the second the bell rang. When he steps into the kitchen, he's surprised to see Naruto's school bag tossed on the floor by his shoes. He usually isn't home this early either.
Iruka walks out to the living room as he checks his phone for any unread text messages. Kurama is lying spread out on the couch like it belongs to him, but Naruto is nowhere to be seen. Without thinking, Iruka heads straight to the boy's bedroom.
"Naruto are you home- oh!" Iruka freezes. Naruto is shirtless, on his bed, and kneeling between the legs of someone else. Someone Iruka instantly recognizes as Naruto's friend and his former student, Shikamaru, who is also shirtless. His pants are pushed down past his ass and his hands are in Naruto’s hair and fuck that’s definitely his dick oh shit-
Their eyes meet. Shikamaru’s go wide with panic and he tugs Naruto off him roughly, jerking his body away to try and cover himself at the same time. Naruto sputters as he’s forced off his friend in a much too fast, startled, frenzied movement. He scrambles to get off the bed, and ends up tangled in the sheets in the process, falling face down and ass up onto the floor. At least he has pants on.
“Sorry!” Iruka yells, covering a hand over his face.
“What the hell, Dad!” Naruto shouts in anger, struggling to lift himself up. He picks up a discarded shirt nearby and throws it towards Iruka in a fury. “Get the fuck out!”
"Sorry!" Iruka says again and quickly slams the door shut. He stays there for a moment, hand frozen on the doorknob in shock, as his mind struggles to process what the hell just happened. His face burns in embarrassment, not even believing that he really just walked in on Naruto giving someone a freaking blowjob and- wait.
Dad. Naruto called him Dad.
The realization hits him like a ton of bricks, and he no longer is even thinking about what he witnessed and honestly he doesn’t even care, because holy shit Naruto just called him Dad! Naruto has never called Iruka Dad before, and while it isn't something he thought he cared about before, hearing him say it out loud flips his entire world upside down. His heart swells, and he feels like it might actually burst with a type of happiness he has never felt before.
Dad.
An hour later, Naruto still hasn't come out of his room, and Iruka is just trying to go about the rest of his evening as normal as possible, when he comes face to face with Shikamaru in his kitchen.
The boy wanders in quietly, clearly trying to make a quick b-line to the door, and stiffens up rigid like a board once he sees Iruka.
"Iruka-sensei-" he starts, and the sensei really puts the nail in the coffin for Iruka.
He's known Shikamaru for a long time. He and Naruto have been friends since Iruka taught them both in elementary school, and throughout the last 4 years Shikamaru has been a regular presence on his couch and at his kitchen table. Iruka is once again reminded of how quickly time really does fly.
"It's ok Shikamaru," Iruka cuts him off, not wanting to have this conversation anymore than he does. "You don't have to say anything."
"Thanks," Shikamaru says, and runs a hand over his hair, smoothing down some flyaways from his ponytail. The green flannel he has on is probably two sizes too big for him, and the sleeve slides down his arm at the movement. "I'm, uh, I'm gonna go then."
"That's probably a good idea," Iruka says with a smile, trying to sound as neutral as possible, even though he knows it will be a long time before he can look at the kid again without seeing that image in his head.
Another hour passes and still not even a peep from Naruto. Iruka occupies himself with some chores around the house just to keep his mind off things, and he’s taking out the trash when he runs into Kakashi stepping out of his car.
"Howdy stranger. Need some help?" Kakashi says as he approaches the curb. He opens the lid to the garbage bin and holds it for Iruka.
Iruka wrinkles his nose at him and tosses the bag in. "Did you just say 'howdy' to me? Weirdo."
He turns away and begins to walk back towards the backyard, not bothering to look as Kakashi falls in step with him.
"Sorry, I can’t help it," Kakashi responds. “I get nervous around hot guys.”
Iruka snorts. "Yeah right."
"It's true," Kakashi says. He slips his hand into Iruka's, holding it as they walk together. "If it wasn't for the internet I never would have approached you."
Iruka feels his face heat up despite how absurd the statement is. Kakashi, who's opening line was 'let me fuck you,' nervous? Iruka gives him a sideways glare. "Somehow I don't believe you."
"I'm being serious," Kakashi says. His free hand comes up to tap at his chin in thought. "So if we met in person, 'howdy' wouldn't have gotten me anywhere?"
Iruka laughs. They bump shoulders as they walk, hands still clasped. "Hell no."
"What would be a better pick up line then? Hello gorgeous? Good day beautiful?" Kakashi jokes.
Iruka stops walking as they round the corner and approach the backdoor. He tugs Kakashi's hand to force him to stop with him. "How bout you just try asking me how my day was?”
Kakashi smiles, thinking he's playing along. "How was your day, darling?"
"I walked in on Naruto giving his friend a blowjob." Iruka answers.
It takes Kakashi a minute to register what he said, and Iruka can see as it clicks - as his face shifts from confusion to shock to pure delight.
"Wait, what?" Kakashi laughs. "For real?"
Iruka nods. "Yup."
Kakashi laughs some more, harder this time. "Jheeze Iruka, don't you know how to knock?"
Iruka pulls his hand away just so he can punch him in the arm. "Fuck you. How was I supposed to know? And be quiet about it, alright?"
Iruka lowers his voice as he says it, and peeks to the kitchen window to make sure Naruto is still nowhere in sight.
"Sorry, sorry," Kakashi says, dropping his voice to match Iruka's, but still stifling laughter. "So which friend? Oh wait don't tell me - Kiba?"
"What?" Iruka gives him a confused look. "No, Shikamaru."
"Shikamaru," Kakashi's eyebrows shoot up. "Well, that's interesting."
"Why would it be Kiba?" Iruka knows they were friends as kids, and he knows they're both on the soccer team together now - but frankly, the two of them together always was nothing but a nightmare. They both just seem to fuel each other's stupidity, and Iruka shivers at the idea of them as a couple.
Kakashi shrugs. "I saw them making out in the hallway the other day."
Iruka's jaw drops, and he swats at Kakashi's arm one more time. "What?! Kakashi why don't you tell me these things!?"
Kakashi dodges his hit, amused. "Because it's not my business!"
Iruka groans and wipes a hand across his face in exasperation. This is all happening too fast for Iruka. It was one thing when it was one boy, but then two, and three, and now four? "Kakashi what am I going to do with him?"
Kakashi's face shifts from amusement to sympathy. "Hey, c'mere."
He guides Iruka to the small bench that's placed haphazardly in the grass in front of their fire pit and makes him sit. Kakashi plops down next to him and puts an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. Iruka sighs as he welcomes the comfort, resting his head on Kakashi's shoulder.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Kakashi says after they settle. "I don't want Naruto to think I'm some type of gossip."
Iruka smiles. "Even though you clearly are?"
"Maybe," Kakashi says back, not denying it. "I'm watching him though. You have nothing to worry about."
"Thank you." Iruka tells him, because he gets it. Kakashi is still just ‘Iruka’s boyfriend’ to Naruto, and he won’t break any trust they’ve built together by having Naruto think he’s spying on him. Kakashi has never said so explicitly, but Iruka can tell he cares for Naruto deeply. Him going out of his way to watch him, even if he won’t tell Iruka everything, does make him feel better.
"I was kinda rooting for the red haired kid though, to be honest," Iruka grumbles suddenly, disrupting his own thoughts.
"Gaara?" Kakashi questions. "He's with Lee now."
Iruka grins and jabs at his side. "You are a freaking gossip."
"Hey, I only know because when I told Gai about Neji he got all emotional about two of his students finding love at the same time," Kakashi tries to defend himself.
"Well he'll be disappointed that Naruto has moved on from Neji I guess," Iruka says, and can't help when a chuckle slips past his lips. "To think, after years of obsessing over one boy, now he's off fooling around the whole class. What are the chances all my students turned out gay? Someone's gonna right an angry article about me, Homosexual Teacher Turns all his Kids Gay."
Kakashi laughs along with him. "Can't be worse than the time one of my students found me on grindr."
Iruka picks his head up to look at Kakashi in shock. "No fucking way."
"Yes way," Kakashi nods, then blocks half his face with a hand. "Why do you think all my photos were cropped?"
"Oh my god," Iruka leans into his side as he doubles over with laughter. The truth of the no face shirtless selfies finally being exposed. "That's fucking hilarious."
"It wasn't at the time," Kakashi says, watching Iruka with amusement. "I thought I was gonna lose my job."
"Aw, I'm sorry," Iruka calms down and settles back against him. Kakashi drapes his arm around his neck, and Iruka grabs a hold of his hand. They lace their fingers together, and for a moment just sit in silence.
"Hey," Iruka speaks again as a thought suddenly occurs to him. "You don't think maybe he's acting like this because Sasuke rejected him do you?"
Kakashi pauses. "What do you mean?"
"I mean like," Iruka tries to pick the right words. "Like, dating around…"
He trails off. He doesn't want to insinuate that Naruto is being slutty per say, just that this may be a type of 'rebound' period for the boy.
"Hm," Kakashi hums thoughtfully, seeming to understand Iruka's thought process without him having to articulate it. "I dunno."
Iruka keeps his eyes fixated on the grass in front of their feet. "He was really infatuated with him for a long time."
"He was," Kakashi agrees. He was there for their fallout too, after all. More than once Iruka got a call from Kakashi warning him he'd be hearing from the principal in regards to another fight between the two rivals turned best friends turned rivals again.
"Do you think he's over him?" Iruka wonders outloud.
He still doesn't know the full story with Sasuke, he just knows Naruto was really hurt by it, and he knows that type of rejection hits extra hard when you're a teenager. The idea of Naruto still being hung up on the kid, and just seeking affection anywhere he can get it, no matter who it's from, kind of breaks Iruka's heart.
"I think," Kakashi says slowly, shifting in his seat. "It's complicated."
The way Kakashi says it sounds like he's stepping on eggshells. Iruka picks up his head once more to look at him in the eye. "What?"
Kakashi averts his eyes.
"What do you know?" Iruka straightens up to face Kakashi on the little bench, distancing himself out of the man's grip and narrowing his eyes at him.
Kakashi bites his lip and hesitates before finally looking back at Iruka. "Ok listen, but don't tell anyone. Teacher's oath."
Iruka nods, knowing the rules of student teacher confidentiality, and knowing that it must be serious for Kakashi to bring it up.
"When did you start teaching?" Kakashi asks.
Iruka shrugs. "10 years ago I guess?"
Kakashi pauses to think. "So you probably never taught Sasuke's older brother right?"
Iruka stares at him with a dumbfounded expression. "I didn't even know he had an older brother."
"Yeah, he does, or did, I don't know," Kakashi shifts forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Iruka watches his face as he looks straight ahead. "I taught him."
"What happened?" Iruka asks, feeling nervous for some reason.
Kakashi gives him a sideways glance and clears his throat. "Remember how I said a student found me on grindr?"
Iruka's stomach drops. He looks away, trying not to jump to conclusions.
Kakashi senses his fear, and quickly shakes his head. "It wasn't like that. Trust me. He just. He was a kid who was confused about his sexuality, and when he saw me on a gay dating app he came to me for help."
"Oh," Iruka lets out a sigh of relief.
"I was fucking mortified of course anyway," Kakashi laughs lightly, but there isn't any humor in it. It sounds more sad than anything. "When he told me I thought I was done for, but-"
He cuts himself off, recalling the memory. Iruka waits patiently for him to continue.
"Anyway," Kakashi sighs. He leans back into the bench and looks at Iruka. "He told me his dad was like a huge homophobe and he was scared to come out and stuff."
Iruka feels his heart break. Sasuke's brother? His parents? That means...
"You don't think Sasuke-" Iruka starts to ask, a million questions crossing his mind. Does Sasuke share that thinking? Did Naruto lose a close friend to bigotry? Or is it something else...
Kakashi shakes his head again. "From what Itachi told me, you know, as a teacher, I had no choice. I had to say something."
Iruka nods, feeling his heart sink as he understands what Kakashi is saying - abuse.
"Well, it kinda made things worse I think," Kakashi mumbles, clearly struggling with voicing it outloud. "Next thing I know Itachi is gone, outta my classes and outta the school."
"What?" Iruka says in disbelief.
Kakashi shrugs. "Nobody knew what happened. He just disappeared. Ran away."
Iruka covers his mouth, horrified. "That's terrible."
"He's safe," Kakashi assures him. "I got a call from him, maybe a year after. He met a guy. They're getting married soon, I think.”
"Oh thank god," Iruka feels a weight lifted off his chest, relieved for the boy he doesn't even know, but feeling his pain anyway.
"Yeah," Kakashi says, a small smile on his face. "But, Sasuke..."
He trails off again. Iruka puts the pieces together.
"Sasuke is afraid." He concludes.
Kakashi nods sadly in agreement. "I mean, I don't know for sure or anything, but maybe."
Iruka thinks he gets it now. Naruto and Sasuke always had an interesting friendship, even from a young age. The way they always clashed together made Iruka think perhaps it was just a mix of complex emotions, and them being too young to process it correctly. Then, when they got older, it seemed to have leveled off a bit, and they became friends. Now, whatever they had seemed to have fallen apart completely. Petty arguments turned into real fights, anger, and resentment - a friendship broken.
Iruka has always known Naruto to be aggressively headstrong, almost to a fault, and suddenly the fall out between him and Sasuke makes sense. Ever since Iruka took Naruto in, he's always encouraged the boy to be open, to express himself genuinely, and to never hide who he is. Having a gay parental guardian helped too, of course, and so when Naruto came out, it was met with nothing but open arms and delight. Naruto doesn't know what it's like to have to hide his sexuality, and Iruka can just imagine the frustration and confusion he would feel towards Sasuke's seemingly abrupt distance.
Iruka ducks his head, the new information just making him feel completely powerless. If Sasuke really is hurting, there isn't anything he can do about it - because at the end of the day, Sasuke isn't his child - and no matter how big Naruto's crush on him is, it won't change that fact.
He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. "I wish there was something I could do."
"You're already doing everything you can Iruka," Kakashi says, reaching a hand out to grab a hold of Iruka's. He gives him a reassuring squeeze. "Naruto knows love because of you, and he'll spread that love on to those who need it most, because that's what you did for him. That's the best thing you could've done for him."
Iruka grips Kakashi's hand back, and hopes that he is right.
"That ain't the only thing he's spreading either I guess," Kakashi says after a lull of silence, his voice shifting to a humorous tone.
Iruka smacks his arm with a surprised burst of laughter. "Ew stop. What is wrong with you?"
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Kakashi laughs, bracing against Iruka's hit. "Stop hitting me."
He pretends to pout as their laughs trail off, and Iruka feels better just taking in the quiet stillness of the moment. Sitting here with Kakashi outside, their hands clasped and legs touching. Iruka takes in the features of his boyfriend's face - his discolored eyes, his scar, his beauty mark, the little wrinkles that have formed at the corner of his eyes. They’re hardly noticeable, but Iruka still sees them. He sees the marks of age on his own face as well, and he hopes they can grow more wrinkles together in the future, forever.
"Hey uh-"
Iruka jumps as the backdoor opens suddenly. Kurama comes running out the door as Naruto peeks his head out and eyes both men wearily. Kakashi and Iruka both turn to look at him, and there is an awkward pause before any of them speak.
"Are you guys gonna, like, make dinner or something?" Naruto breaks the silence. "You've been out here for a while, ya know."
Iruka hears Kakashi snort beside him. He guesses they have been outside for a long time, and hopefully Naruto didn't hear any of their conversation. He flicks his head between the two of them. "Yeah, sorry, we'll come in now. Kakashi?"
Kakashi nods, and looks past him towards Naruto. "Whatta you hungry for, pal?"
Naruto shifts his weight on his feet, his hand still on the doorknob, and simply shrugs in response - making a little 'I 'unno' sound as he does. He won't meet any of their eyes.
The tension is obvious, thick and heavy around them. Iruka watches as Kurama makes a lap around the yard, then putters up to Naruto's feet again.
"Did you feed him yet?" Iruka asks, mostly just to have something to say.
"'M doing it now," Naruto grumbles, like he's annoyed that Iruka is even asking.
Iruka sighs - not missing his tone - and just watches as Naruto goes back inside, biting his tongue to hold back from scolding him. He doesn’t want to make the situation worse than it already is.
"Soo, you guys gonna be that awkward around each other for what? A day? A week?" Kakashi says once they're alone again.
Iruka glares at him, not finding it funny at all.
Kakashi puts his hands up in defense. "Hey, I'm just trying to be prepared."
Iruka averts his eyes, then clears his throat. "Well, there's something else too actually…"
"Oh?" Kakashi asks, voice raising in interest.
Iruka leans in close to him and keeps his tone low so Naruto won't hear him. "He called me Dad."
Even saying it outloud feels strange. Naruto called him Dad. It’s so weird to think about - in a good way, like it's validating actually - but he doesn't know how Naruto feels about it, and that worries him.
"What like-?" Kakashi starts, not understanding.
"Like," Iruka waves a hand vaguely as he explains. "He called me Dad. Not Iruka. He's never done that before."
"Oh," Kakashi says dumbly. "Ok. Wow."
"Yeah," Iruka agrees. Wow is right. "I mean he cursed me out, but still."
Kakashi laughs at that. "If it makes you feel better, I hear cursing out your dad is pretty normal."
That makes Iruka laugh too. Yeah. Normal. They're a normal family alright.
He looks at Kakashi seriously. "Do you think I should talk to him about it?"
Kakashi shrugs. "Maybe. Do you want him to call you dad?"
Iruka thinks about that for a moment. Does he? He felt so happy when he realized what Naruto said, but he doesn't want to force Naruto to continue to say it if it was just an innocent slip up.
"He's my son, regardless of what he calls me," Iruka decides to say finally, because it's the truth. Naruto is his son, and as nice it is to hear Naruto call him dad, it isn't important.
Kakashi nods, and then stands up with a stretch. He reaches a hand out to guide Iruka up with him. "Well, c'mon Daddy, time to feed that kid before he has a breakdown."
Iruka wrinkles his nose, but accepts his hand anyway and stands. "Don't even think about calling me that."
"What about me?" Kakashi asks with a playful leer. "You wanna call me Daddy?"
Iruka shoves him towards the door. "In your dreams."
Naruto is sitting in the cafeteria for lunch when a duffle bag is dropped on the table in front of him, knocking into his and Shikamaru's food trays where it lands. They both scramble to pull them out of the way, trying to save their food and loudly complaining as they do. The rest of the kids at the table freeze at the disruption.
"Hey what's the deal?" Naruto yells, before even looking up to see the person responsible.
"You forgot your soccer uniform," Kakashi says, standing above him.
Naruto rolls his eyes, and pulls the bag off the table while mumbling, "You don't gotta throw it around, ya know."
Kakashi ignores him, and looks to the rest of his friends sitting at the table, who look nervously at him in return. His eyes fall on Shikamaru, who stares back at him blankly.
"Shikamaru," he says in a flat, even tone for seemingly no reason at all.
Shikamaru furrows his brow, confused by the attention. "Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi holds his gaze for an unusually long moment, before shutting his eyes with a soft smile and turning to address the rest of the table. "Welp, everyone have a good day!"
With that, he walks away, leaving the kids staring at his back in stunned confusion.
"Why was he looking at me like that?" Shikamaru asks as soon as he's out of earshot. "You think he knows I skipped his class last week?"
Choji, next to him, laughs. "You better hope not, he said he'd fail you if you did it again."
Shikamaru groans. "Man, my dad is gonna kill me."
Kiba leans forward from his spot next to Choji to look at Naruto. "What's Kakashi-sensei doing bringing you your shit anyway?"
"He's Iruka's boyfriend," Naruto huffs, not looking up from picking at his food.
"Oh, that's right," Sakura beams next to Naruto. "I always forget they're a couple! Aw, that's so amazing!"
"Is it?" Naruto snorts.
"I can't believe Kakashi-sensei bagged Iruka-sensei," Kiba says loudly, interrupting them. "Iruka-sensei is way too hot for Kakashi-sensei!"
Naruto glares at him, not appreciating the turn in conversation. "Well, Hinata's out of your league and she's still with you, idiot!"
"Hey!" Kiba yells in protest, leaning across the table to jab a finger in Naruto's direction. "Take that back!"
"Kiba-" Hinata puts a hand on his arm, blushing at his outburst.
"'Ey, Naruto," Ino grins from beside Sakura, pressing her body into her girlfriend's side. "How come if Kakashi-sensei is dating your dad you guys never talk at school, huh?"
Naruto shrugs. "I dunno we just don't."
"Kakashi-sensei seems like a mysterious guy," Ino continues, a pondering expression on her face. "Like he's the type of guy to ghost you after a date!"
"What do you know about guys?" Sakura laughs.
"I know some things!" Ino says back, offended. "Iruka-sensei seems too nice for Kaka-"
"Can we stop talking about this?" Naruto cuts them off, tossing his fork down and giving up on eating.
"Jheeze," Ino mumbles, turning away from him. "Someone's sensitive."
Sakura ignores her and keeps her attention on Naruto. She gives him a curious look. "Do you not like Kakashi-sensei?"
"No, he's ok I guess," Naruto says, resting his head in his palm with a heavy sigh.
"He's nice whenever we're over," Choji recalls. "Remember that time we needed a 4th for our squad in Fortnite and he played with us? That was cool."
"He died in like 2 seconds and then spent the rest of the game reading," Shikamaru points out.
"Still," Choji shrugs as he goes back to eating his lunch.
"Yeah, I mean he's fine. He's a good cook 'n stuff, and he has like 10 dogs which is cool," Naruto agrees, but his voice doesn't hold any excitement.
"No fucking way!" Kiba jumps in. "He has 10 dogs? And you never invited me over? What the hell Naruto I thought we were friends."
"They're not at my house dude, they're at his house," Naruto grumbles. He then waves a hand in frustration. "Which, like, is part of the problem."
"Hmm, yeah that would piss me off too," Kiba says with a solemn nod.
"I don't think he's talking about the dogs, you airhead," Ino chastises him. "Are you Naruto?"
Naruto picks up his fork and goes back to jabbing at his food. "It’s just that they've been dating since before I was even adopted. I dunno why Kakashi won’t just propose already.”
Ino and Sakura let out a synchronized 'awwww' next to him.
"You want Kakashi-sensei to be your Dad?" Choji asks around a mouthful, a look of confusion on his face. Kiba barks a laugh.
"No!" Naruto yells. "That's not what I'm saying, jackass! I’m saying Iruka loves him and he’s dragging his feet! It’s not fair to Iruka!”
"Naruto wants Kakashi-sensei to be his Daddy!" Kiba continues over him with a howl of laughter, clutching his stomach as he does.
"Fuck you Kiba!" Naruto throws his fork at him. Kiba yelps as it hits him square in the face.
"Marriage isn't everything," Shikamaru chimes in. He munches on a french fry with a bored expression. "Some people think it kills the relationship."
"Oh Mr. Charming over here," Ino scolds. "Maybe Temari wouldn't have broken up with you if you learned to be a little more romantic."
Choji waves a hand at her. "They'll be back together in a week. Just like last time."
"I'm just saying," Shikamaru speaks over them with a roll of his eyes. "It's not a big deal."
"I think," Hinata pipes up quietly from beside Kiba. "I think Naruto is just saying he wants the best for Iruka-sensei, and if Iruka-sensei would be happy getting married then that's what he wants. That's really sweet of you, Naruto."
"Thank you Hinata!" Naruto shouts. "See! Hinata gets me!"
Kiba snorts. "She's only kissing your ass cause she's got a crush on you, and she's jealous I got to make out with you and not her."
"I'll make out with you Hinata," Naruto says with a flirty smile. "But I won't do anything past that. Sorry. Boys only."
Hinata covers her face with a hand, failing to hide her heavy blush. "N-no, I won't make you do that Naruto."
Naruto pouts his lip at her. "Don't worry Hinata, I'll find a man for you some day."
"Uh hello?" Kiba points to himself. "I'm right here."
"Yeah, but you suck," Naruto wrinkles his nose at him.
"Not as much as you!" Kiba yells back.
"Yeah well at least I'm fucking good at it!" Naruto says without missing a beat, making everyone else at the table laugh. They continue to hurl insults and jokes at each other, the previous conversation about their teachers’ relationship forgotten entirely by everyone -- except Naruto that is.