Chapter Text
Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t everyday that they lost a fight. It wasn’t even everyday that they were IN a fight. On the days they were in combat, they did not always lose just to luck out at the last second--hard to believe, unfortunately. But the days they avoid combat and the days they win battles doesn’t really matter on the days that they are losing.
Like today, for example. They were definitely losing this one.
“C’mon guys, we are SO not losing this time!”
Some (read: four) turtles just haven’t gotten the memo yet. In due time, some (read: three) of them will.
It started as it usually did: Coincidence. The boys had all geared up for a fun night up top on the surface--chill at Run of the Mill, eat some pizza, maybe crash April’s new job in an attempt to be supportive and helpful yet ultimately resulting in her back on the job market, the usual. They brought their weapons to practice in the downtime, though none really thought they were going to do so. As previously stated, they were swamped today.
“So of course car alarms in the distance followed by the slight tremble of plant life breaking free of its undercity prison and signalling the familiar kind of mystical bullshit we’re used to yet always surprised by just HAD to happen, right?” Leonardo had complained, as car alarms and the slight tremble of plant life diverted their attention from fun shenanigans to superhero work time.
“Language, Leo.” Donatello lazily chastised, looking down at the tech on his wrist.
“Man, our schedule is gonna be so wacked now…” Leo spared no glance to the critique.
“Let’s go, Team!” Raphael began running towards the aforementioned mystical bullshit, followed by a whooping Mikey. The middle children were quick to follow, Leo stopping to grumble one last time and Don getting a late start due to recalculating their incredibly busy and important schedule with lightning fast fingers.
Nevertheless, the important detail was: All four of them made it to the scene.
They jumped from rooftop to rooftop, keeping to the shadows on instinct as they closed in on this week’s villain. They hid behind a billboard once they entered what Mikey likes to call “The Battle Zone”, where they could be seen by villains or civilians. Donnie took notice of the large vines bulging out of the streets and the feeling of otherworldly power in the air.
“Oh great, it's everyone’s favorite Sheep Creep.”
“Draxum? What’s he got against…” Raph peeked at the scene of the crime, “…old, locally owned, used book stores?”
“By my guess it’s about that mystical armor he keeps looking for.” Donnie pondered, rubbing his chin.
“Are you allowed to guess??” Mikey gasped at the family genius.
“Well, unlike everyone else, all of my so-called guesses are immediately classified as ‘educated guesses’.”
“Uh-huh, yeah,” Leo confidently chuckled with a cocky grin, leaning on his sword as if it were a fencepost. “Still has the word ‘guess’ in the title.”
No sooner than the second those words came out of his mouth, a metal arm had snuck out of Donnie’s Battle Shell and down to the ground where it grabbed the tip of the sword, giving it a quick tug. All of Leo’s weight crashed down with a yelp as all balance was lost. The bored expression on Don’s face did not falter, yet the satisfaction was still evident.
“Focus, guys. We can’t risk another piece lost to Draxum and those Foot guys. You heard Dad, it’s dangerous.” Raphael stressed; watching his younger siblings bicker usually triggered his leadership role.
“Relaaaaax, if it was so easy to find all of the pieces, then everyone would have it.”
“Mike’s got a point,” Don agreed, trying and failing to avoid sounding surprised. “It’s mathematically improbable for every single piece to be obtained by one group--even more so if you factor in the improbability of them all being located in the City. If even one, single, shard is lost, their entire evil plot is null.”
“So, you’re saying it’s impossible, because of math?” Leo's muffled voice asked, still face first on the ground.
“Oh, no no no, improbable means it is unlikely but still possible. Whereas impossible literally means ‘not possible’.” Donnie chuckled, “Little fun fact for you.”
“So, ignoring your math, they could totally resurrect an evil ghost?” Raph asked.
“Well, sure, but if you ignore math you may as well ignore--”
“Then we can not let that happen!” Raphael clenched his fist dramatically, recalling Splinter’s grave tone on the subject and, more importantly, choosing to ignore both math and his brother. “Mad Dogs, roll out!”
Raphael jumped off the building and further into The Battle Zone, while Donnie and Michelangelo rolled the still horizontal Leo off the edge and below. Leonardo twisted in the air and landed perfectly with a dab on Raph’s waiting shell, high-fiving Mikey as the youngest landed.
“Y’know, we should really begin investment in a better team name.” Donatello thought aloud.
“Like what?”
“Turtles!” A booming voice startled the younger Mad Dogs members.
“Nah, too boring.” Raph commented, scratching his head. “There’s more to us than being turtles, y’know? We’re also…. Ninjas…. And--”
Baron Draxum watched unamused as his creations scrambled to get the attention of the biggest member and turned to the Foot soldiers around him. He located and pointed to a small group gossiping by the window. “You. Aid my fight, do not underestimate them. Everyone else, find that shard.”
“Do you have the authority to--”
Draxum glared at the soldier who dared speak against him, shadows harsh on his horns and face, making his eyes appear to glow. He resembled a form of pure power and strength alike as he towered over the now-shaking humans.
“--Yep yeah, aye-aye sir, sounds good.”
The large mutant turned back to the Turtles, fawn legs perched to strike. Raph had not faltered in verbalizing his thoughts.
“--So I guess a better name would be, what? Ninja Mutant Teen Turtles?”
“Raphael, I love you and I appreciate your alphabetically arranged team naming but--”
“Attack!” Draxum commanded, vines springing to action to lift him higher as Foot soldiers pounced.
“--we ha VE COMPANY! ”
The turtles belatedly sprung into action as the Foot advanced on them, meeting them less than halfway. Raphael immediately took to his tank status, charging to meet the larger cluster of Foot soldiers. Ancient Ninja Group or not, there were still human grunts mixed in with the origami army, and Raphael, a slightly larger than average snapping turtle, was ready to test the power imbalance himself. It was an additional cherry on top that it also kept more enemies off his brothers, capable as they are, Raph was always prepared to watch out for them.
Thankfully, he’s not the only one. It could have been two.
As Raphael literally barrelled into the awaiting ninjas, parrying hits with his forearms and fists alone, his three teammates scattered and selected their own battles. Foot soldiers circled them and showcased their acrobatics to avoid mystical kusari-fundo and portal party tricks. Leonardo and Michelangelo naturally found themselves back-to-back, foolishly boosting the morale of the Foot attacking them. Foolish, for the Foot.
The brothers smirked at each other, looking as if they were somehow born already on the same page.
“Whatcha thinkin’, Miguel?”
“I’m thinking, it’s been a while since I’ve played…. Pinball.”
They readied their weapons as the Foot surrounded, effectively walling them in. In their mood setting dramatics, Leo found the time to spin his ōdachi confidently, while unconfidently he prayed for the mystical properties of said sword to actually work. Luckily, the bright blue portal opened as he finished his flourish with a big, arching slash. As the portal opened, Mikey threw his previously spinning kusari-fundo, sending its entire momentum through. Leo dodged and immediately flattened himself to the ground as the exit portal opened 90 degrees to the right, just outside of the ring of soldiers.
“Box Mode, Go!” Michael shouted as he jumped and pulled all of his limbs (and head) into his shell.
The Foot glanced at each other with confusion for a moment before the kusari-fundo sprang from the exit portal, smacking a few to the ground and barreling into Box Mode Mikey, pinging off him and sending them both into separate directions at full speed. They hit and bounced off Foot soldiers and collateral damage (fire hydrants, poles, etc.) at a rapid pace, the battlefield filled with sounds of pinging and clanking.
As the last Foot fell, Mikey popped back into the world and fluidly caught the chain of his weapon, halting their reign of chaos.
Leo stood as his portal closed and fist-bumped his awaiting brother, content with being the lazy one today. “Now that’s what I call a High Score.”
Draxum had watched from his plant perch, overseeing both the search for the shard and the battle against his Turtles. He glared as the orange’s and blue’s plan played out, silently admitting that they were getting moderately decent at their predestined roles. Not nearly as good as they could, of course, if they had joined him. But enough to be a nuisance, and Baron Draxum was more than prepared to cut them down before they became anything more than that. A thick, pinkish vine rose to strike the celebrating brothers, unknowingly catching the attention of the purple one nearby.
Donatello had been clumsily dodging and parrying attacks with his bō as Raphael headbutted a soldier unconscious. Donnie jumped to avoid a low sweep and stuck to the wall behind him with metal claws emerging from his Battle Shell. He swung his bō and successfully knocked one of the two soldiers away, giving him a brief window to notice the threat of attack on his brothers.
“No, no, no--Raph, cover me!”
“I’m! A little busy! At the moment! AGH!” Raphael smacked a soldier off his shoulder and was immediately bombarded on his other shoulder.
“Alright,” Don breathed out as the soldier he knocked away returned with a friend from Raph’s group, all three glaring up at him and readying to take him down, “No problem, I can work with this.”
The Battle Shell ascended him a couple feet higher as he glared down at the humans beginning to run up the walls, like a scene right out of a Lou Jitsu movie. Donnie opened an app on his wrist tech and smirked darkly as a Tesla coil laser gun sprouted from behind his shoulder. The soldiers’ eyes widened, one even faltering long enough to lose his footing on the wall.
“Commence Field Test One.” With that, the electric laser fired at the ninjas below him, slowing their momentum and sending them back to the ground. He auto-locked them as targets and his laser fired at them when they attempted to ascend again while he moved his attention to Baron Draxum and his rapidly forming vine. He pressed a button on his bō and activated the transforming mechanic, its machinery moving and forming a scope and barrel--and a selfie stick with phone attached sprouting from over his shoulder. He flipped his goggles onto his eyes with a quick head flick and took aim, steadying his shaking arms and tracking onto the sheep mutant ahead of him, awaiting for the bō to stabilize onto him.
“C’mon, c’mon….” He nervously glanced down at the frustrated soldiers and then over at his oblivious brothers, so close yet too far to warn. As he peered through the sights again, the reticle successfully lined up onto their most powerful enemy and he released the button, launching a palm-sized missile directly to Baron Draxum. “Yes!”
The explosion caught Draxum by surprise, having forgotten the purple one, and it blindsided him, knocking the striking momentum of his vine attack off his target and blinding him with smoke. Donnie flipped his goggles back up and turned to give a peace sign, a wink, and a smile at the camera as it flashed, catching the moment of impact over his shoulder. Not only a great play, but a pleasing composition as well.
The vine, having been coiled for an attack, continued with its momentum and crashed into the earth anyway, but missed its mark by a couple feet and sent two screaming brothers into the air by its sheer power. Leo quickly grabbed Mikey’s hand and pulled them both back from the impact, landing first with a brother landing on his lap and looking up in horror at the near death experience.
“Yeah,” He breathed, patting Mikey’s head distractedly, “That’s gonna haunt me tonight.”
“Guys!” Raphael yelled across The Battle Zone, punching a clustered group of distracted soldiers into the wall before running to his stunned brothers, shoulder-checking the soldiers that were attempting to climb to Don, “Everyone ok?”
“Uh-huh.” “Oxygen Potassium.” “Ignoring the nightmares in my future, yeah.”
“Hey good shot, Dee!” Raphael complemented over his shoulder at the still-perched brother.
“Oh, that?” Donnie attempted to play down, betrayed by the overconfident tone in his voice as he plucked his phone out of the selfie stick and transformed his bō back into a bō. He un-perched and landed on the last Foot soldier, knocking them out, and looked down at his phone, not yet joining the group. “Yeah I guess it was pretty great, you owe me bros.”
Leonardo rolled his eyes as Donnie started the filtering process of selfie culture, mumbling about someone being a show-off who couldn’t just say thanks and move on.
“Yes,” A deep voice crowned from the smoke as a vine platform carrying Baron Draxum moved him out of the smoke, still in one piece and glaring with immense hatred. Tendrils of smoke clung to his horns and altered arms. “good shot.” He quickly manipulated the felled vine into an arching swing and directly into the distracted Donatello, whose eyes widened at the assault mere moments before impact. The swing hit him with a sickening crack and sent him sailing across the Battle Zone, in the opposite direction of his screaming brothers. “But not good enough.”
The brothers watched, panicked as their purple counterpart seemingly vanished from the impact. Their only indication that he wasn’t eviscerated on the spot was the rapidly retreating scream of pain and the cloud of dust his impact with the used book store created. Visions of broken bones, bloody heads, and shattered shells filled their imaginations as they lost sight of their soft-shelled brother.
“Oh, you are SO gonna regret just doing that.” Raph growled, letting his rare anger fuel him as his fists crackled with red power.
“Mikey, Raph,” Leo and Mikey had stood up in their panic and Leo cut through the air with his sword, “You guys take horns here I’ll be right ba--” The platform holding Draxum smashed into any blue magic left in the air by the sword, destroying it before it could become usable.
“I’m not letting any of you out of my sight.” He growled, stepping off his ride.
“Dee….Dee’ll be fine, we gotta stick together.” Raph said, rubbing away at his tears, hoping to rub clean the image of his hurt brother in the process. He looked over at his furious and worried brothers and nodded at them in a silent command. Stick together. Protect each other. Don’t fail like he just failed Don.
Raph smashed his fists together and glowed with red power, shouting a battle cry as they all lunged toward Draxum and the small remaining army of Foot soldiers left. Power crackled as fists met faces, fire fwooshed past and into enemies, and swords clanged as they met armor. Raph broke through a soldier and ran straight to Draxum, who caught his fist and pulled his momentum, throwing Raph behind him and straight towards Leo. Leo swung his sword in panicked motions as he watched his tank of a brother fly towards him, yelling, a portal opening at the last possible second and sending Raph directly into the back of Draxum. He bounced off, flipping in the air and landing perfectly as Leo let out a sigh of relief and a thumbs up to Raph. As Raph prepared for another head-on attack, Mikey swung his kusari-fundo towards a nearby pole, smacking into a few Foot soldiers running towards Leo before bouncing off the back of Draxum’s head, stunning him long enough for Raph to close in and throw a punch with a growl.
Even stunned, Draxum caught Raph’s incoming fist. The impact created a smack and a gust of wind. Raph ground his teeth as he struggled against their enemy, red energy travelling up his arms.
“C’mon guys, we are so not losing this time!”
Except they are. They already have.