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I don’t know what I’m doing
Lucas and Eliott has been friends for years now. Lucas had moved in next to next to Elliot when he was 11 and Eliott was 13.
Lucas’ mom forced him to go over and introduce himself and they both immediately hit it off.
They grew up together. Lucas helped Eliott through many episodes and Eliott helped Lucas through many rough times in life as well.
When Eliott came out to Lucas as pan Lucas felt it was only fair to share that he was gay with Eliott. They both held each other that night and felt safe with each other and that healed any hesitation to share everything with each other. Their bond only grew and grew.
Eliott was different then Lucas he went out on dates and he partied and kissed whoever he wanted he was fun.
Lucas on the other hand he’d sort of watch Eliott and put him back together when things went wrong. He got so consumed in helping Eliott he forgot about himself.
As much as his friends would say
“hey you gotta relax” or
“ he’s fine. Why are you always so worried about him anyways?”
He’d shrug it off because he really didn’t know.
Him Eliott had been best friends for what felt like forever and Lucas felt like it was his duty to protect Eliott and keep him safe from everything bad in the world. Even though he was two years younger he felt like he always needed to be the more mature or smarter one.
Eliott him called out in his dominant tendencies at times and said
“hey I’m not a baby Lu you don’t need to worry about me”
and Lucas would just shrug it off with a dumb excuse like
“ I’m just trying to help”
and that was the end of those conversations.
One night Lucas and Eliott are laying in Lucas’ bed watching some boring film Eliott had been talking about for days. They both were snuggled into the blanket and for some reason Lucas loved this. He loved being next to Eliott being so close he can feel his shoulders rise when he breathes or if they look at each other Eliotts face is a little distorted.
He loved it
Eliott slowly snuggled into Lucas as the night went on and Lucas definitely didn’t mind. By the end of the film Eliott’s head was resting on Lucas’ shoulder and Lucas had his arm around Eliott’s shoulder.
They decided that Eliott should just sleepover and Lucas had never been so nervous for a sleepover with Eliott until now.
“Hey Eliott I can make a bed on the floor and you can take my bed” Lucas suggests
“What are you talking about get over here!”
Lucas walks over and Eliott turns to him and whispers
“Since when did we sleep in different bed at sleepovers?”
He had a point they’ve been having sleepovers for years and this is the first time they ever suggested separate beds.
Lucas just shrugs and gets under the covers.
Eliott gets closer to him and asks
“ Lucas are you okay? You have been quiet and kinda weird all night. Do you want me to go home?”
Lucas’ eyes shoot open when he asks if he should leave.
He shoots a glance at Eliotts lips then says
“ I’m just tired Eliott”
Eliott knows Lucas isn’t just tired. They have this unspoken agreement that when one says “I’m just tired” after being a little “off” that day it means they actually don’t really know what they’re feeling and they don’t want to talk about it.
Eliott just shook his head and said
“I’m here if you need me. “
He scoots closer which seemed impossible after how close they already were and his gaze gets more serious and he cups Lucas’ left cheek and says.
“ Seriously Lucas please don’t ever hesitate to come to me please. You’ve always helped me through everything please let me help you.”
Lucas turns so his back is to Eliott. He felt like a flood of tears was on the verge. He didn’t want Eliott to see him like this. They’ve both seen each other at their worst but for some reason tonight Lucas felt like he needed to just hide his feelings.
After that night Lucas began to avoid Eliott. He would ignore his calls and his texts and make dumb excuses to leave whenever they were together in public.
But Eliott had enough
Eliott texted Lucas
I’m coming over.Now
Lucas started shaking. He’s never felt so uncomfortable in his own home. He was fixing his hair in the mirror and was interrupted by the aggressive knock on his front door.
He walked to the door and slowly opened it. Eliott lightly pushed past him and walked to his living room. He pat the spot next to him gesturing Lucas to sit down. He looked like he owned the place and Lucas couldn’t help but find it sexy.
Lucas sat down and they both took deep breaths at the same time.
“Lucas why are you avoiding me?”
Lucas tries to get up and Eliott grabs his wrist not to harsh but definitely a little rough.
Lucas sat back down and stared at Eliott.
“ Eliott I’ve been busy”
“Bullshit!” He scoffs
“Things have been tough I just need time”
“ Tell me Lucas!!! What is rough? Why can’t you talk to me?” He shouts
“I can’t Eliott” he shouts back
“Lucas I can’t deal with this come to me when you’ve grown up” he stands up and walks to the door.
Lucas imagines letting him go but suddenly he just knew he couldn’t let him go.
He ran and grabbed his wrist and Eliott gasped when Lucas cradled his face and kissed him passionately. Eliott was resistant at first but eased into it almost immediately. He breathed out
“L-Lucas”
Lucas can’t stop kissing him he says between kisses
“Eliott I really like you”
Eliott giggles and lifts Lucas he carries him into Lucas’ room.
They kiss for what feels like hours and eventually slow things down. They sat staring at each other and Lucas says
“ I’m scared Eliott”
“Of what Lu?” He grabs his hand and kisses it
“Of this. What if I ruin it and I lose my best friend as well I can’t bare the thought.”
“Lucas I don’t know what’ll happen but I know I’m pretty happy right now and I want to kiss you and hold you just make you feel wanted right now and that’s all I can worry about right now”
Lucas smiles so hard his eyes crinkle
Eliott can’t help it
“You’re so beautiful” he caresses his cheek
Lucas pulls his chin to his chest and giggles.
“ Eliott I want this I want you I don’t know what the hell im doing but I want to be with you” he says confidently
Eliott kisses him and they melt into each other and fall asleep together as boyfriends.