Chapter Text
A mess. Those were the only two words that were able to wholeheartedly explain the situation. The yelling, the screaming, the tears, the heartbreak. Everything was just a mess. Tsukishima Kei never wanted this, but he knew for weeks that it was coming. He knew what he would see on the other end of the door. He knew of the fight that had brewing for months, and he's known of the cause for much too long. The blond haired middle blocker thought that he was prepared for what he was about to see. But nothing could prepare the nineteen year old boy for the sight of the love of his life, sweaty and panting on top of someone that wasn't him. They didn't notice him at first, well at least, one of them didn't. Kei made eye contact with the brunette with the boobs that were too lopsided to even be remotely real, otherwise known as his boss. And then she gave him a look, a look that conveyed one simple emotion. Pride.
She was proud. She was proud that her own worker caught her underneath his boyfriend. She was proud of what she had been doing with the raven haired boy for months now. There was not an ounce of shame in the older woman. In fact she thought, what was there to be ashamed of? She did no luring, she didn't even try to seduce the man that was pumping into her at this very moment. She only comforted. He arrived at her doorstep late one night, drunk off his ass and mumbling on about how Tsukishima was always at work. To tell the truth, she kept piling work onto the young boy in hopes that his senpai's patience would finally run dry. And one night it did, and she made sure to pick up the pieces. The first time, she was told it would be the last. Then the second, was a "mistake". Soon enough, he stopped giving excuses. Accepting that he found pleasure in his sins. Immediately after they fucked, he got out of bed, put his clothes on, and left without another word. There was an unsaid rule that the brunette was forced to follow, no kissing. None on the neck, chest, cheek, and especially not the lips. She never questioned his reasoning, there was no need to. As long as she still got her pleasure out of it all, it didn't matter.
When she made eye contact with the lanky figure she smirked, licked her lips, and whispered something just loud enough for both boys to hear, "Tetsu, I love you."
The golden orbs widened in shock, his once bright eyes filled with so much hurt and pain, that they overfilled; with fresh tears running down his face the athlete ran. Ignoring the shouts to stop, the pleas to wait, and the guilt ridden apologies, he ran. He wouldn't give Testurou the satisfaction of seeing him cry. So that night, with a trail of tears and broken promises following, Kei ran to Nekoma. It was stupid, he thought. Finding comfort in the place where he had met the person responsible for his broken heart. Kei still remembered the training camp like it was yesterday. He still remembered the hushed whispers, the heated kisses, the late night movies, and most importantly, his laugh. That god forsaken laugh. At first, Kei couldn't stand it. He found it irritating and far too obnoxious. But as time went on, it grew to be the most beautiful melody that tugged at all the right heart strings.
"Hey, hey, hey!" The voiced roared through Gym 3 as Akaashi followed quietly behind.
The two were met with silence as the setter sighed. "Where the hell are those two this time?"
Little did they know, they were right there. Well, in the storage closet. Kei lightly pushes Tetsurou away to try and meet with their fellow peers but the raven haired boy takes that as a sign to suck harder on the light-toned skin.
"Tetsu, we have to go," Kei quietly moans out, trying to sound stern but not being able to deny himself the pleasure of being claimed by his senpai.
The golden-eyed boy is met with a pair of lustful eyes and in that moment, ignoring all better judgement, he pulls the dominating figure closer and wraps his legs around his waist. The two had been make-out buddies ever since the first night of camp. Both boys with a case of insomnia wandered around the school until their fates collided. And ever since then they've been intoxicated by the simple presence of one another.
Tetsu tugged a bit on the plain white t-shirt, asking for permission from his kohai. This was the first time the pair had ever ventured this far. Everything inside of him was telling him to say no, to reject the middle blocker's advances; but his eyes showed nothing but concern, his touch laced with care and his stance ready to back off if given any sign of discomfort from his partner.
Before Kei was able to give him an answer Tetsurou removed his hand and leaned in. At first the blond thought he was going in for a kiss and was confused on why he stopped when their foreheads met. They stayed like that for a while, neither knowing what to say.
Tetsurou opened his mouth to apologize for his actions but before he could say anything Bokuto kicks open the door, shedding light into the confided space.
"Aha! I knew it, they were fraternizing again," Bokuto exclaims, running away soon after with Tetsurou chasing after him. Leaving Kei leaning against a cart of volleyballs, still trying to comprehend what happened only moments before. After catching his breath he walks onto the volleyball court to see Bokuto on the floor with a cackling raven-haired captain standing over him.
The second that their eyes meet, the older boy turns away. Ashamed of his actions and disappointed in himself for pushing when Kei clearly wasn't ready. It was a simple misunderstanding between the two. The taller of the pair believing that Tetsurou was frustrated with him for not wanting more. That's how the rest of the day went. Whenever there was the slightest bit of interaction between the two middle blockers, one or the other would find a way to quickly escape the situation.
During the practice matches, neither did well with their thoughts clouded by what happened this morning. The fear of losing one another sinking in and making its roots. The blond reasoned with himself that he wasn't afraid of losing Testurou, just scared of not having anyone to let his frustrations out on. He wasn't gay, he told himself. He couldn't be. The only reason that he felt any form of attraction towards his senpai was because of his annoyance with every one else at the camp. Their sessions were only a venting mechanism that was bound to fail sometime. But then Kei looked at him, his concentration on the match and the grin on his face, and his heart skipped a beat. His mind went blank and he just stared in awe of how captivating the Nekoma captain looked with that glint of excitement in his eyes and his tongue dangling slightly out of his mouth as he analyzed everything that was happening on the court.
Tetsurou catches the younger boy's gaze and holds it, unfamiliar with the look in his eyes. It was different. Sure he's seen Kei blush out of pleasure and embarrassment, but he just couldn't figure out what was different this time. Before he could put any more thought into it, the rooster-haired boy turns in response to the shouts of his teammates and is met with a face full of volleyball. Kei couldn't help but laugh at the sight. And in that moment, Kuroo Tetsurou decided that he would do anything to hear that laugh again. He didn't care if he got hit with ten more volleyballs and had to sprint up that stupid hill, it was the most imperfectly perfect sound he'd ever heard.
He was escorted to the nurse by the team manager and Kei had no other choice but to pay attention to the match. Every block felt good, relieving him of his stress but no matter what he couldn't stop himself from worrying about Tetsurou. In the back of his mind he knew that he was going to be okay, it was only a nosebleed; but, there was that looming thought of him getting hurt that stuck with him the rest of the afternoon. Kei thought about this morning, and wondered if Tetsurou was starting to get bored of the same old make outs. And if soon, he would start getting bored with him.
After all the practice games were over, Kei ended up on his porch. He was gladly welcomed in by the boy's grandparents and made his way up the stairs. He walked into his room with a heavy heart, and pushed the standing figure onto his bed. The blond was now moving quick. Taking both their shirts off before Tetsurou could even bat an eye. His mouth traveled quickly down from his neck to his tan v-line. This wasn't right, something wasn't right. The raven-haired teenager couldn't even process what was happening before feeling a tug at his belt buckle. Before he could say anything to stop the fast-paced undressing, Kei crashed his lips against his. The kiss being different than others, desperate and messy, giving Tetsurou no time to kiss back. It wasn't slow, it wasn't passionate, it wasn't right. It was rushed and needy. The feeling of something wet made the narrow-eyed boy pull back to the sight of a crying blond hovering over him.
He was struggling to unbutton his partner's jeans before Tetsurou grabbed his wrists, stopping him in his tracks. It wasn't until he looked into those watery golden eyes that he understood, the first year thought that this was what he wanted. He was doing this for him. The black colored glasses were delicately put on the nightstand and with no words said, Tetsurou began to wipe his tears away. The two sat in silence, with only sniffles and the occasional bed creaking filling the coarse air.
"I-I'm sorry," Kei muttered, head hanging in shame.
Tetsurou gave him a light smile and carefully lifted his chin up, "I never want you to be sorry for something that you're not ready for. Promise me something," he paused, waiting for confirmation from the younger boy. When given a short nod he continues on, "Promise me that you won't do something that you're not sure of just because you think I expect it from you."
Kei is shocked once again by the third year's careful consideration for him. He leans in slowly and connects their lips. There were less nerves compared to the previous kiss, and much more care. Kei cupped Tetsurou's face with his hands and deepened the kiss, skillfully capturing the third year's bottom lip in his and playfully biting down on the soft flesh. Tetsurou wrapped his arms around the thin figure and pulled him onto his lap, reciprocating with the same amount of passion. Kei opened his mouth ever so slightly, giving Tetsurou's tongue just enough room to deepen the kiss even more. It felt as if Kei didn't have any oxygen left in his lungs, but was unwilling to stop in order to catch his breath. Their lips molded perfectly into one another as their senses were spiraling out of control. They kept on closing the distance that separated them with an urge to be a close as possible before there was little to no distance between the two. Skin against skin as their kisses became more heated. Despite all that was going on, neither had any intention of going further.
They finally broke apart moments after, gasping for breath with a string of saliva connecting the two swollen lips. While Kei was still trying to catch his breath, Tetsurou began planting light kisses down his neck. He stopped at his collarbone and began moving back up to his ear. When reaching the final destination he takes Kei's earlobe and softly bites on the boy's sensitive spot. Kei couldn't help but moan and dug his nails into Tetsurou's shoulder.
He continued placing delicate kisses all over Kei's face and whispered something ever so softly that it almost went unheard, "I love you."
...
"Get out."
"But Tetsurou-"
"Get out. Grab your things and don't bother coming back," Tetsurou mutters through gritted teeth.
Without another word said, she leaves. Closing the door behind her without second thought. The sound of glass breaking echoing throughout the empty house, followed by another. The once perfect and pristine picture frames left in pieces against the wood floor. He had been so careful, the bed sheets were washed at least twice a week and most of the time Tetsurou went to her apartment. But he knew better. He noticed the little details, the things that slowly started to slip away as time went on. He noticed how Kei would always stay out late when he was let off early, he noticed the way the blond flinched at any given sign of affection, he noticed the way he would always walk with his hands dug into his pockets, he noticed how his eyes seemed to take a sudden interest to the ground.
He noticed how his ears felt deprived of the three words, the three words that would make Kei look at him with so much affection, so much care. When those words used to mean something, they meant everything.
Tetsurou knew something that both of them refused to admit.
The devilish sound of an alarm woke the bed headed boy from his deep slumber. He groggily made his way to the kitchen to find his boyfriend of two and a half years getting ready for work in the living room. Taking notice to the pillow and blanket neatly tucked away under the couch. A sigh escaped his throat, gaining the attention of the now dressed museum worker.
"Is there something bothering you," the blond questioned, grabbing his bag and coat.
Conflicted thoughts of whether or not to voice out his worries kept the older boy silent. Kei brushed it off, opening the door to catch the upcoming train but was stopped by a mere whisper, "Why didn't you come to bed last night?"
"You forgot to wash the sheets and I have a big meeting this afternoon, I didn't want my coworkers questioning why I smelt like cheap perfume." Tetsurou opened his mouth to say something, but the words got stuck in his throat. And in that moment, he was sure that he had been caught. He thought that the moments to come would be filled with heartbreak and tears. His heart had been making all the right preparations for when it was to be inevitably broken.
So when Kei mumbled a short, "I'll be home late," and shut the door, to say that Tetsurou was confused wasn't the half of it. Anyone who was with Kei for ten minutes would pick up on how observant he was, on how blunt and harsh his words could be. Yet, his statement from before was indifferent. There was no anger or judgement in his words. Nothing to prove that he knew of Tetsurou's infidelity except the words themselves.
Tension had been rising for weeks now, neither willing to acknowledge it until now. Slowly but surely, Tetsurou could feel the walls that he had broken down years ago rising to the top, higher than before, making it almost impossible to climb. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been the cause of the joyful laughter that used to fill the now hollow apartment. And then there was a sudden realization, of all the things forgotten. His heart hurt, the ache that had been for weeks finally weighing down on him. His trembling hands reached for the bottle, temptation and desire fueling the actions yet to come. The irony of the situation almost made him laugh. Tetsurou would spend hours drinking away his sorrows as a desperate attempt to forget, but now all he wanted to do was remember. Remember how the corners of his lips would waver as the blond tried to suppress the joyful sound. Remember the way the skin underneath his eyes scrunched up due to the inevitable smile breaking through. Tetsurou wanted, no he needed, to remember the melody that involuntarily escaped the pink tinted lips. But he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried.
He couldn't remember his laugh.