Work Text:
On Bardo
Bellamy lay on his back, legs hanging off the bed at an angle, with one arm thrown above head. His eyes closed, body still, except for the rhythmic tapping of a finger. The door to the room hissed open disturbing his thoughts. Before he could make a move to sit up a voice instructed him not to move and to keep his hands where they could be seen.
Opening his eyes Bellamy could see a figure entering the room, coming over to the small table beside his bed before moving away again. Looking over to the corner by the door he saw an immaculately dressed man sitting down, smoothing his white robes as he did so.
Bellamy sighed internally, ‘Anders’ he thought, moving his hands so they both rested on his stomach but staying prone on the bed. As in all their meetings Bellamy stayed quiet, waiting for Anders to start the conversation.
“Good morning Bellamy, are you hungry?” asked the older man.
A shake of the head was the only response he received. Bellamy’s eyes now fixed on the dark ceiling above him.
“I think you are, I brought you a treat.”
Silence.
“Mr Blake, there is no point in starving yourself.”
More silence.
“I see. Refusing to eat is not just a protest is it? I have to admit it is clever, but I know what you’re doing. You are not the first person to resist m-cap, and you are not the first to fight it by not eating. You think that m-cap will be easier to resist if all you can think about is how hungry you are. If your body is screaming at you to feed it. You’ve made your point. Eat.” Anders gestured to the bedside table.
Lethargically Bellamy turned his head to look Anders in the eye. “And what point is that?”
“That you are not going to cooperate. You want to fight, resist, make it difficult for us.” Anders looked bored, as if this was just a repeat of a conversation he has had to have with many people before now.
“What I want is for you to stay out of my head” Bellamy’s jaw was tight, muscles ticking as he glared at the other man.
A pause.
Ignoring the comment Anders raised his eyebrows, “you are allowed to move, you know the punishment will be greater than any satisfaction you’ll get out of attacking me”.
Bellamy sat up, pushing himself towards the head of the bed and away from Anders. He finally allowed himself to look at the sweet smelling food on the table next to him but did not pick it up. Once he was sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs hanging off the side, ankles crossed, he turned his attention back to Anders.
Evidently bored with Bellamy’s lack of engagement Anders spoke again, voice clear and sharp, “Mr Blake you may feel trapped, you may dislike being in this cell. But I assure you that there is still a measure of freedom. You have the freedom to move around this room. You walk between here and m-cap. And, if you co-operate, I am prepared to allow you time out of this room, to walk around the rec yard, or run, or even to just sit there. That is entirely up to you. You would be correct in surmising that I need you healthy, but I am prepared to keep you well by force. If you do not start eating you will be force fed. You will be strapped down and fed via a feeding tube. You will also be restrained for the purposes of m-cap. That will be all your day consists of. You will no longer be allowed to feed yourself and you will be restrained at all times. Your choice.”
Hands gripping the edge of the bed Bellamy bowed his head, “what is it?” He gestured at the table.
Satisfied at this indicator of compliance Anders smiled, “a cookie”.
Bellamy slowly picked it up before hesitantly taking a small bite. His eyes widened. It was good. He took another bite.
“It’s chocolate. I would offer you more but I think right now your stomach would protest.”
Bellamy stared at the cookie in horror. He should have known.
Seemingly knowing where Bellamy’s mind had gone Anders interrupted his thoughts. “It’s not drugged. I don’t hold for such primitive methods. And drugging your food would be a waste, we want you to eat.”
Fear assuaged for the moment, Bellamy continued to eat. “My mom once told me that hunger strikes were used throughout history. That women used them when they fought for the right to vote.”
“Old earth history?” Anders had not expected his prisoner to want to discuss the topic.
Bellamy nodded. “They would refuse to eat in prison and it looked bad for their jailers to keep force feeding them. So they would be released until they were healthier, then rearrested. A game of cat and mouse.”
Anders raised an eyebrow.
Bellamy continued, “and they did, win the vote, it worked”.
Anders smiled, amused. “And are you the cat or the mouse?” A pause. “Or maybe you envision yourself as an Odysseus, leading the way in a wooden horse. Or perhaps you are Penelope, destined to stall for time awaiting your lovers return.”
Bellamy smiled wryly, before saying “Octavia”. Clearly m-cap had been successful in revealing the Blake’s love of mythology. He silently hoped his sister was okay.
Bellamy continued to eat the cookie, then without looking at Anders said “on earth my friends were abducted. The Mountain Men gave them chocolate cake. Then, one by one they were harvested for their bone marrow. They were kids and the people in that mountain murdered them. So I killed them all.” When he finished he was looking Anders in the eye.
Without missing a beat, seemingly as if he already knew everything Bellamy had said, Anders replied. “You forget I know about you. I know you’ve been locked up before and thanks to m-cap I know what mistakes to avoid.”
Conversation over, Anders moved to the door, “You will eat lunch when it is brought to you.” It was a question, though phrased as a statement.
Resigned, Bellamy answered, “Yes”.