Chapter Text
Until the end of time I’m longing for you
And if you feel the same then show me your love
I’ll give you everything that money can’t buy
And I promise I’ll be right by your side
Shane lay alone in his hotel room staring up at the ceiling. This was his third and final solo tour, and although he was used to being away from his friends and family, he still missed them. Tonight however, he knew that it wasn’t Gillian and the kids he was thinking of; it was Nicky.
Plans for the big Westlife comeback at the end of the year were already in full swing. The lads had already met up a few times and so far it was going great. It had been amazing to see everyone again, he’d really missed them, especially Nicky. In fact he hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed him, and now it seemed he was all he could think about.
He told himself it was the loneliness. He had great craic with his band on the road but it was nothing like the bond he had shared with Nicky, Kian and Mark, nothing could ever come close. In truth though, he knew it was more than that, because the second their eyes had met at that first meeting in Nicky’s house, the butterflies had started again.
It had taken him completely by surprise, he had thought those old feelings were all in the past. He hadn’t thought about Nicky in that way in a very long time. He tried to tell himself it was all in his head, it was just nostalgia, but then Nicky showed up at one of his concerts, and seeing him smiling down at him from the balcony had made his stomach do somersaults. He knew then that he was totally screwed.
Neither of them had plucked up the courage to talk about what the band getting back together would mean for them and their relationship. The fans had speculated about how close the pair were, but only the two of them knew just how accurate those speculations really were! And now that Shane had admitted to himself that he still had feelings for Nicky, he literally couldn’t stop thinking about it, remembering the times they’d shared together and wondering what it would be like to be with him now. Put simply, he longed for him. He realised his feelings had never really gone away, and now he was certain that they never would.
He wondered what Nicky was doing right now. Well actually he didn’t want to know what he was doing right now, because he would be at home with his family, while he lay alone internally battling with himself for the umpteenth time that night. What he really wanted to know was what he was thinking. Had Nicky felt it too? There had definitely been some “ShNicky moments” at the few meetings they’d had so far, some secret smiles and long gazes, but did it mean what he wanted it to mean? He needed a sign, something that showed him yes, Nicky was thinking of him too.
He eventually fell into a restless sleep, Shane hadn’t slept very well in a long time, ever since the bankruptcy really. He was used to the bad dreams by now, and when he got like this Gillian taught him to focus on the positive things, rather than the negative.
When he awoke in the morning he felt terrible, but as usual he tried to think of something positive, and as it often did these days, Nicky was the first thing that came to mind. He smiled to himself, he loved that Nicky could still comfort him without even knowing. It seemed that Nicky was always there for him, weather he was physically there or not. Shane loved that about him. He’d give anything to show him how much it meant to him. Granted He didn’t have much to give, the bankruptcy had seen to that, but you don’t need money to show someone how much you love them, and when it came to Nicky, Shane had plenty of that.
Randomly he thought about Georgina, and some of the things Nicky had said about her recently. Shane wasn’t exactly in a happy marriage himself right now, and now it seemed the Byrne’s were having some trouble at home too. Gina always had been a bit of a closed book and liked to keep herself to herself, after all these years Shane still felt like he didn’t know much about her at all. Gillian at least had still been supportive of Shane, despite their many disagreements, but it sounded like Georgina didn’t really care what was going on in Nicky’s life.
He guessed it was just another thing they had in common, both of them stuck in loveless marriages with no way out. He knew it shouldn’t have been like this, in an ideal world they would have been together, Shane and Nicky, ShNicky. His smile widened as he imagined what their lives would have been like if they were together, and how happy they’d both be. It was just a fantasy of course, it could never really happen, but he also knew that if it could have, he would have supported Nicky in everything he did. Georgina might have lost interest, but Shane never would, he’d love him forever, and he'd promise to always be by his side.