Chapter Text
The leaves are warm caramel and bright apple red, shivering in autumn's chilly breeze. Fallen brethren lay at the base of old knotted trunks. Atop a chopped oak's stump lies a weather beaten gym bag filled with a pair of worn jogging pants and matching grey sweater. Fresh boxers and shoes with socks stuffed into the toes are also tucked in neatly.
You sit cozily by the hearth, wrapped in a navy shawl, sipping hot cocoa with more marshmallows than the mug can hold. The sun is about to set on this moonless night and you wanted to be awake for it.
Hanging from the cabin wall is a calendar filled with pen markings documenting the lunar cycle and a single hook for a notepad you received during a local trading market. It hung as cock-eyed as the words written on its pages but you never thought to fix either.
You've mended enough things in your life--a banged up cabin, a dead end career, a broken heart; it was time to let things just be. You were content with that; sitting on the floor in front of a calming fire, listening to the trees scrape against window panes.
That used to terrify you in the beginning. Alone in the woods and suddenly someone was trying to pry your windows open. Or the creaking of the roof when snow built up too much. Like someone was up there just waiting for the moment you left. It makes you chuckle now, knowing that there might have been. Maybe not a killer out for your blood, but a guardian of some sort; making sure you were holding up while living alone.
You saw it sometimes. Running through the forest fast as lightning.
Years ago when you had first acquired the shabby shack from your late grandfather, you thought the place was overrun with wolves with all the tracks you'd see around the clearing. You almost left right then. Only the thought of trying to restart a life you hated stopped you. Living in the city surrounded by noise and unreachable expectations weren't for you. Being able to run away from it all was a blessing. As cliche as it seemed at the time, you were happy to be able to escape. Escape into the wilderness where time had no meaning; hunger your only obligation. Your mind finally at peace.
The paw prints that circled your new cabin disappeared shortly after settling in, but they still frightened you. Some nights you would lie awake waiting for the howling that signaled an ambush to start. They never did. The trees never smashed the glass. The roof never caved in. As time went on you became accustomed to the sounds, to the smells. To the timelessness.
The hinges of the front door creak and you straighten up a bit from slumping in front of the warm fire. Before you're able to put your nearly empty mug aside, strong tanned arms wrap around your blanket covered shoulders.
"I'm surprised you're still awake," a warm, deep voice murmurs in your ear.
You sigh as you lean back into the embrace.
"I had a nap," you reply matter-of-factly, finally putting the mug down to fully turn and return the hug. You breathe in his musky scent. The smell of pine and sweat. "I missed you."
His arms tighten around you, left hand moving to your neck cradling it firmly, and leans in for your lips. You meet him with the same desperation. The need to feel him overwhelms you. It always does. Your mouth moves with his, tongues darting between you, teeth nipping your lips.
Your blanket falls off your shoulders completely as you climb into his lap, not breaking the kiss. Your hands roam over that stupid grey sweater you always leave out until you feel the frayed hem. Then you're sneaking your way inside it, hands trailing up his firm torso to his chest and back down. You grip at his back when he sucks on your tongue, nails digging into shoulder blades.
The nights were longer now that winter was ever closer, but even still they weren’t long enough. The moonless nights were never long enough.
You don't fully remember how long you lived in the woods alone for before you found him. It was nearly winter, maybe even your first one, and you were out collecting your last haul of firewood when you heard a shnk . Like metal springing. You realized it was the sound of an animal trap and instead of waiting for morning's light, you went in search of it. It wasn't a smart move. Not with night rolling in and no moon to shine your way. All you carried was a tiny flashlight which you shakily held in your hand. You almost talked yourself out of continuing when you spotted not a struggling animal like you thought, but a buck naked guy pulling at a metal claw around his leg.
When your flashlight shone on him, he whipped his head around. Eyes feral, mouth in a snarl ready to bite. You cautiously approached. He didn't look like a hunter or a drunkard who somehow stumbled onto private property. He looked around your age, maybe a few years older, or was that just the shadows from the flashlight aging him?
Whoever he was, he had a trap around his ankle and if he wasn't terrified of it you definitely were. How long had it been out there? What if that was you?! Your cautious approach turned more determined the louder your panicked heart beated.
"Here let me help you," you tried to sound calm, but you didn't feel any of that. You only felt your chest tightening at the thought of what his leg must look like. From where you first stood, he was twisted so you saw mostly his back. Now your flashlight threatened to blind him as you tried to shove it in a pocket so you could use both hands.
"Stay away!" He yelled. His voice was rough and strained and you heard the trap spring open before you even reached him. Then you heard a pained groan. You no longer hesitated and ran the small distance to him.
"Don't move or you'll make it worse!" You shouted, but he didn’t listen. You saw the naked man throw the trap to the side and stand, knee buckling trying to take a step away from you.
"I said stay the hell away!" The frustrated cry and curses spilling from his mouth told you differently.
Ripping off your scarf, you stood beside him. He looked up at you with fresh blood smeared across his cheek, but that didn’t deter you.
You knelt in front of him and moved his bloody hands away from his ankle.
"Oh gross," you whispered and he must have heard you because he was quick to spit an insult.
"I am not leaving some naked stranger injured in my backyard, okay? So shut up and suck it up." Each word was punctuated with a yank on your scarf to cover the wound. "My house isn't that far. You can rest there."
Without waiting for a reply you stuck yourself under his armpit and hoisted him up. His words lost their bite the closer you got to your cabin when you could feel his energy leave him. The more he leaned against you the further your desire to say 'I told you so' bubbled up, but you kept a lid on it. He could thank you properly in the morning.
You barreled through the front door and laid him on the log couch. At this point he just let you. You covered him somewhat with a blanket before fluttering around the house for antiseptics and real bandages and the baggiest clothes you had.
"Where did you even come from?" You asked while dabbing water at the gouge. It was as gross as you thought only more so with the lighting of the house. His foot twitched at the stings from the antiseptic and your mouth twitched at how deep those teeth sank into him. The healing was going to be ugly.
He turned his head away and grunted.
"You know I own this land right? Not sure how far it goes to be honest but still…" you unraveled the bandage and started to wrap it around his leg. "What were you even doing out there? Naked? You some kind of weird cultist?"
"No!" He finally turned back to glare at you. "Gramps said you were stubborn, but damn you're annoying," he muttered under his breath.
"Uh excuse me?" You started to clean up the bloody cloths around you, putting them in the bowl of stained water. "Gramps? Like my grandfather? Did you know him?"
The dude, now wearing the only nightgown you own, sat up from the couch. He clasped his hands between his knees and hunched over. Face just inches from yours.
"Yeah." Is all he says.
You looked up at him. Now that you could see him more clearly, he was actually quite handsome. Grey hair a little untamed, amber eyes adorned with tiny lashes to match. They held their ferocity even still. Black rimmed and piercing. Somehow that didn’t scare you, even with the tiny streak of blood painting his lid and cheek, maybe because now he was in your territory. And wounded. That gave you a little leeway.
"Yeah?" You questioned. "He never said anything about you though."
You could see the gears turning in the stranger's head when he looked away and sighed. Like there was so much more to say, but didn’t want to get into it. He said you were annoying. Well, you could be annoying.
"Can I get a name at least? So when you get charged with trespassing I know who I'm talking about."
He turned back to you with a smirk threatening his lips. He leaned his elbow on his good leg and cocked his head.
"You're not going to do that." He played. "Gramps also said you were nice."
"You're right. I'm not." You pursed your lips. "What was Gramps like?"
You barely remembered the man to be honest. He was your mother's father and she left with you to the city before you entered grade school. Growing up she always hated trips to the countryside or when you asked to head out to the beach. She liked the hustle and bustle of downtown. It suffocated you.
"He was crazy," he laughed. "For an old man he was crazy strong. When he first caught me hanging around he hoisted me over his shoulder like it was nothing. I let my guard down, let myself get caught..."
He straightened himself before leaning back on your couch cushions, staring at the ceiling.
"He built this entire place himself, he said. Took him a few. Said he was running out of time and wanted it for his grandkid," he said slowly. "He'd let me go if I didn't cause a fuss. To just ‘be a good boy and watch the house’. I remember him throwing me in the river. I flew! Dude was mad strong!"
You giggle at the thought of your grandfather throwing some weird kid into the river. The only memories you had of him were photo albums and the annual sleepovers mom let you go on. In the books he really did look like the typical outdoorsman. Always in hunting gear, or fishing gear, skin blazing from the constant sun. Your mother in those looked miserable and you liked to tease her about it when you were young. There were only a few photos of you and him. Outfits matching for the day, smiles as bright as the sun. It made you wonder if that was where you should have been all along.
"Anyway, I did hang around. Then he just disappeared and you showed up."
"So what? A naked guy has been hiding in my backyard? Pervert."
He bristled.
"Today was just fucked up, okay?" Didn’t deny it. "I was supposed to be out of here by nightfall and then I got .. got." He motioned to his leg. "Ah! Stupid!"
He slumped over himself, as you lean your arms against the couch. You were far too close to a stranger but you couldn't help yourself. This might have been the most human interaction you had in awhile.
"I never did get a name." You whispered.
He turned his head your way and you could feel his breath on your face.
"Koga."
"Koga." You smiled.
You stood and stretched, reaching down for the bowl of rags. You basically ordered him to sleep on the couch and you'd fix the dressings in the morning. You gave a softer goodnight before heading upstairs to your own room. The bowl was left in the bathroom for the morning. It was too late, and you were exhausted. Adrenaline no longer held you awake.
You opened the curtains to look outside one last time before jumping into bed. With the moon gone the only light around was coming from your house. It was dark as pitch which made you even more curious. Why was he out there? Thoughts of him being a murderer and you willingly letting him in were shoved to the back of your mind as you settled into bed. He couldn’t even walk up the stairs, it was fine. Probably.
Just before sunrise you heard the creaking of a door and you bolt up still half asleep. You called for Koga and got no reply. Looking out the window you thought you saw a flash of something but couldn't be sure so you begrudgingly darted downstairs to check on him.
Empty.
You swore under your breath and tried to tell yourself it was whatever. No. He didn't even fully close the door, that prick. You peeked outside and called him one last time, only to see dried bloody bandages roll with the wind and your nightgown torn and stuck to a pile of firewood.
When you're more awake and outside again, you'll see wolf tracks leaving your doorstep.
You twist in bed, half naked, and snuggle back into Koga's bare chest. It's now littered in bite marks you know will heal once the sun comes up. You can see it threatening to do so in the window. That only makes you snuggle harder and get a deep chest rumble in response.
"Mornin'," He says, voice clear and not sleep groggy like your own.
"Mmm," is all you supply.
Koga kisses you again while peeling your arms off him. You hate this part. This last kiss. You put your all into it knowing you probably have minutes left with how bright the sun is getting over the horizon.
You're still clinging to him as you walk downstairs and onto the front porch.
"You don't have to watch me every time y'know," he says, taking off his boxers in broad daylight. "It's embarrassing."
You accept the offered undies and smile.
"What are you going to do about it?" You tease, and before he can retort he's on his knees convulsing.
Legs grow coarse fur that match the colour of his hair. Bones crack and pop disgustingly as legs are reformed. Claws sprout from his fingertips as those too shrivel and shape into giant paws. He never lets you see his face during the transformation, only when it's done. You can only imagine the pained expressions he makes as his jaw splits and reshapes, skeleton warping and just as quickly regenerating. He turns to you now with the face of a beast, and presses his muzzle to your belly once before running off into the woods until the next new moon when his curse wanes.
That morning, after seeing your shredded nightgown, you were left in a daze. Where did he go? Was he eaten? He must have been attacked! There were wolf tracks! At your door! If your grandfather really did entrust him to take care of the house then wouldn't Koga have felt obligated to fight off whatever was out there? He was hurt though and you didn't even stitch him up like you should have because who even has that kind of stuff in a first aid kit? It's always bandaids and peroxide. Maybe the fancy gauze pads in multiple sizes. Never needle and people thread. You made a mental note to buy that for next time … if Koga ever returned.
Weeks passed and you continue on continuing on.
Preparing for winter meant stocking up on food and supplies so you camped out by the riverside, prepping for a long day of fishing and filleting. Mind was numb to the world except for the occasional pull of your fishing reel. You paused to gut and clean when the fish piled up. Easier outside where the innards would be picked at by other wildlife than bringing them back full to your cabin.
Easier until a shadow caught your attention and you fumbled your filleting knife, slicing your palm. You cried out in agony trying not to panic. You did bring a kit. You could clean it before raw fish infected it. Bandage it up. Stitch it even if you had to. You didn't want to have to. This outdoors life was starting to make you miss easy calls for paramedics.
Instead you sat there gripping your hand feeling the blood slowly drip from it; gripping your hand and staring into the eyes of a predator across the river. You had no time to even think before it was leaping over the river rocks and running toward you. He smelt your blood and now you were its next victim. It got Koga and now you were wounded and unguarded.
"Please," your voice shook. Your vision swam, from panic or pain or tears you couldn't be sure. "Please. Have the fish. Have it all! Just stay.. stay away."
It stopped a handful of meters in front of you. Its eyes locked with yours. All the knowledge you held about wildlife screamed for you to look away, to never make direct eye contact with a wild animal, but you couldn’t. It's golden orbs bored into yours. Trapped you.
Your hand sliding through the blood from your cut was what finally pulled your gaze away from its. Scrambling for the first aid kit while constantly looking back up to see if the wolf came any closer, you patched yourself up enough to escape. A slap of a gauze pad and you were grabbing your fishing gear, and slowly but determinedly walking back home half backwards so the wolf never left your sight. Fish and knife left by the riverside.
The wolf just stood there. Staring.
You finally reached home, slammed the door shut, and took the biggest breath of your life. Like you've been holding it for ages, you probably had been. After you calmed down, you fluttered about the house washing your cut, and deciding that you didn't need stitches and just wrapped your palm tightly hoping that would be good enough.
You didn't sleep easily. Nor did you want to leave your lodge the next morning. The farthest you went was the front steps to grab a couple logs of wood for your hearth. Next to the pile though was your fillet knife. Didn't you leave that by the river? You're pretty sure you did.
Curiosity got the better of you and you took a few cautious steps off your porch to peek around. You squint your eyes trying to see through the forest and seeing that damned wolf lying in the brush sent a jolt through you. No way he brought that back? Did he? That would be nuts! You were going nuts!
"I'm onto you!" You shouted at it and marched back inside, mind jumbled up.
Twice that thing approached you, and twice you were left alone. What was it waiting for?
You've been waiting for winter all year and finally it's arrived and you flutter about the cabin humming away, clearing up your crocheting mess. It's a hobby you recently started and you find it fun and relaxing, if a bit frustrating when you forget to count, and the tiny little yarn friends you have plopped on top of the fireplace can attest to that.
Winter was your favourite season. The snow looks gorgeous under the full moon, twinkling like stars on land. The actual stars outside twinkle even more brightly. You live in the perfect location to become an astronomer, if you ever wanted to take that hobby up seriously. Wide clearing for stargazing. Large front window for more stargazing.
You only cared for the moon though. The waxing and waning of it tracked on your calendar. You hyper focus on the waning. Even more so in winter. Longer nights meant longer visits and you cherished every second of them. The timelessness of your 'lady in the woods' stint had worn off. Now you wanted time. Always needed more time. And this year you are being given it. Winter solstice started yesterday and tonight was the new moon. Basically the longest night ever and you were going to bask in it.
You're in the middle of preparing dinner when you hear a thud at your door. You excitedly run to it and open it full force only to look down at the critter sniffing your slippers.
"And just who do you think yo--" you're cut off by lips assaulting yours. Raccoon forgotten, you fall into the kiss. You melt into it, like the snowflakes landing on both of you. You step back into the warmth of your house and close the door to the chill.
Cold hands grab at your waist and you jump.
"Your hands are ice!" You protest, half laughing into the kiss while trying to wiggle out of his grasp.
"Well someone forgot to leave me a coat this time," Koga bites back, sticking his icicle fingers further up your back and down your sides.
Finally freeing yourself, you toss the throw hanging over the couch at him.
"Warm up a bit. I'm still making dinner."
"Could smell it a mile away," he teases.
You roll your eyes. Of course he did. Him and his wolf senses.
Dinner was a romantic candle lit one, until Koga sits down and immediately blows out your floral scented candle claiming it messed with his nose. You allow the insult if only because 28 days of the month you can light them to your fancy.
You eat in relative silence. Clinking silverware and sneaking glances between the two of you. You catch him smiling as you take a larger bite than necessary and end up with half of it back on your plate.
"See your table manners haven't improved," he quips.
"Is there a point when you're probably a slob when I'm not looking," you retort.
His eyes turn to slits as he glares at you; never leaving yours as he sinks his fangs into the cooked thigh he holds in his hands.
You smile around your fork as you take another bite, this time getting it all in your mouth. You've won this battle.
After dinner you both do dishes. Koga washes while you put them away. Occasionally he bumps his hip against yours and snarks when you can't return with the same strength. You have to retaliate with flinging soap bubbles into his face, and listening to him snort when it slips up his nose instead.
Afterwards you two flop on the couch, full and satisfied. You throw your legs up over Koga's lap and grab for your bag of crocheting needles. Digging around you grab onto your newest project and plop it atop your stacked legs.
"How many of these things are you even making?" He asks incredulously, gaze moving towards the mantle. "Got your own little pack it looks like."
You also look at your tiny collection. What started out as a beginner's trial of a moon (ball with a cute little face), had at some point turned into a mini assembly of yarn wolves and stars with cute little faces. You've gotten pretty good if you do say so yourself. Even trading a few in town for more supplies.
"Want me to make you a chew toy?" You joke booping Koga on the nose with the newest one who was still missing his legs.
Koga pounces on you, knocking your crochet bag askew. Your legs intertwine on the couch as he kneels over you.
"What if I already have one?" He quietly asks before leaning in and attacking.
You immediately close your eyes and let out a moan as his tongue flicks over your neck, sucking on the spot you love behind your ear. His tongue darts to your lobe and circles your helix before delving into your ear completely. Hearing his heavy breathing so close only spurs you on. Taking initiative you reach for the drawstring of his sweatpants. Already you can feel him firming up underneath.
You get your hands under his boxers before he pulls away to strip off his shirt, still straddling your legs. His chest is flushed and his breathing uneven.
"Looks like someone's in heat," you murmur trailing your finger tip down his torso, through his happy trail. The colour matched his pelt and you happily run your hand through it fully, appreciating its thickness.
"And looks like he's already claimed his victim," Koga growls, jumping off the couch and hoisting you over his shoulder. You kick for the hell of it, playing damsel in distress, as he carries you upstairs. The door to your bedroom rattles the walls as he smacks it open and tosses you on the bed. Your pleading continues but you both know it's not for him to stop.
You somehow survived winter without a hitch. Some nights were huddled under every blanket you owned because the firewood was looking short but you managed. With only a bicycle to get you to and from the closest town, there was little chance of you getting help with snow up to your waist in some areas. Your preserved stock of food lasted and rabbits were still abundant in the forest so you had no worries there. Plus you had a single cupboard of binge food because you knew yourself and living in the bush didn’t mean you had to give up factory made snacks.
Walking outside now with the snow melting left you refreshed. You stretched your legs and puttered around your lodge shoveling the last of the snow away so the sun could start to dry your lawn at least. There was so much mud. You were going to have to be careful about tracking it back inside. That irritated you.
With spring arriving, that also meant exploring the forest to see if any fruits had started to bloom yet. There was an apple orchard not far from your place you suspect your grandfather had planted at some point. You say orchard but it was more like 2 or 3 trees huddled together.
With your tall boots and stained pants you made your way through the trees for the first harvest. Checked rope traps and resituated ones that had been buried under snow and forgotten all winter.
Leading back to the cabin was a rather steep hill and you, an idiot, weren't paying attention so when your boot slid through the slick mud and caught on a tree root there was no saving yourself. You tumbled down landing at the bottom winded and sore. You sat there for a few moments just to reflect on how much mud was caked on you; how clumsy you were and how you hadn't died yet honestly. This forest life was still new to you. You came out here in the summer when mud wasn't as vicious.
Filing that info away for future escapades, you stood back up. Or more like immediately crumbled back down into the wet soil when pain shot up your leg. Your ankle was on fire. You tried to bend it to see if it was broken, and while it didn't feel like it, there was no way you were walking home on that. Anxiety threatened to overtake you as you tried to think of a plan; crawl back home? If you had some sort of long stick you could use that as a crutch. You looked around and saw nothing. You would have to break one off yourself and that wasn't happening. You sighed and massaged your swelling ankle psyching yourself up for the painful limp home.
Snap.
The sound of twigs breaking. You turned your head and tried to see what it was. A squirrel? A fawn? There were raccoons in this wood too. At the sound of growling you quickly twisted to your left. And wolves. It was definitely male, and black and not that other one that seemed to be taunting you. You gasped and tried not to let the panic boil over. Everything in you screamed to not look it in the eyes and this time you listened. You listened and waited and tried to think back to that book you found in your grandfather's library on what to do with wild animals.
Don't run . Easy.
Don't look it in the eyes . Absolutely not.
Don't fall . You were fucked.
Appear big and loud . How big could you possibly look already on your ass?
You ripped off your jacket and lifted it over your head yelling for him to stay away and please piss off you're already having a bad time.
He didn't heed your warnings and started for you. You tucked yourself into a ball as per ' if all else fails ' guidelines and prayed it was a swift death. Your heart pounded in your chest as loud as the pounding of running legs through the mud. You balled up tighter hearing the sound get closer, but before he could reach you something collided with him. It sounded like a tree had slammed into him and against your better judgement you peeked out between your arms. Between the crevice you saw that timber grey wolf who always seemed to be around at the worst/best time.
It snarled and bit at the black beast, pushing it farther away from where you were curled up. The black one retaliated with force and the sound of clanking teeth and shuffling paws echoed through the trees. It was terrifying. The guttural growling reverberated within you and the thought of that ferocity being directed at you terrified you. You couldn't move. If not before, definitely not now. Not when any movement could trigger the two to remember you were even there. You had to sit and watch and hope the winner of the fight would be yours. Yours was putting it loosely, but the thought still stood.
The fight seemed to last forever, but the canine yelp and sound of tearing flesh signaled the end of it. The grey one was able to push the other back far out of sight, only tiny specks in the distance, and the anticipation of which one was slowly advancing on you had all the blood in your body run cold. Your heart sank seeing a black dot advance towards you, lifting just as fast when that dark figure you saw was actually just because of a blood bath. It was yours. Your body went limp.
"Alright, Mr. Wolf. You can have me," you succumbed. If he fought for you that badly then what could you do? Run away? Your bum ankle cried otherwise as you unfurled yourself. "I'm yours."
It slowly approached and nudged at said bum ankle and you yelped yourself.
"Okay you sadistic prick. Don't play with your food." Its face came closer. You could feel its breath on your cheek. Could taste its kill on your tongue. Your outdoors 101 guide again urged you to not look directly at it, but you were about to die anyway, what did it even matter?
You locked eyes with him and something clicked in your mind. They were a gorgeous amber. As golden as that guy you saved. The same black rims that only made the warm yellow that much richer. You remembered thinking how strange that colour was when you held his gaze kneeling beside your couch. As strange as the natural greyish hair he had for someone so young. Hair that matched this wolf's pelt.
"I'm actually going delusional in the face of death," you muttered, not even conscious of how close your face was to this beast. "You remind me of --" He probably got eaten by that black beast if it wasn't the one in front of you, now that you thought about it.
The wolf took another step closer, shoving itself under your arm like it was trying to act as a crutch. You cautiously planted your hand against it's back and when it didn't shake you off, you applied more force until you stood leaning against him. Its fur was coarse but still had remnants of its soft winter undercoat and your hand sunk further into it.
Your leg burned and would definitely need ice and maybe even a splint when you got back. Hopefully it wasn't broken but that was a worry for another time. First you had this whole... thing to deal with.
Together you two slowly hobbled home. Slowly being keyword. With the mud you weren't able to hop one footed through the brush easily and putting weight on your other leg just had you clutching the wolf's back for immediate support. By the time you even see the lights of your cabin it's nightfall. That only made things worse. There was no moon to light the last stretch.
"We're almost there," you told him, if he understood you or not. "I don't know why you're helping me but being eaten …. Well I'm glad you think I taste awful. Or maybe you're just leading me into a false sense of security. Do animals think that far?"
You were rambling. You had to keep your focus off the fact that predators could see in this darkness and you could see that speck of light in the distance only. Your hand tightened around the coarse furs of the wolf's back, the only thing you had to trust around you even if that too was dubious.
Just when you thought you were in the clear, passing the threshold that you could confidently say was your backyard, your hand rippled. Or more so the skin under your hand rippled. The wolf stopped moving forward and stood rigid with its skin suddenly popping under your touch as fur contracted. You ripped your hand away in shock, but that only made you lose balance and you tumbled to the ground as the sounds of splintering and popping echoed through the night.
"Are--are you okay?" You mindlessly asked not knowing what was happening. The wolf's breath came out in rasps and you could hear it falling to the ground as the sounds of cartilage popping continued.
Just as quickly as it came on, it stopped. The silence rang in your ears.
"Is it dead?"
The shuffle of soil told you differently.
"No I'm not," a male voice, familiar and exhausted, replied. Human hands reached for your arm next and you let them lift you up in your stupor. That was Koga's voice. Koga who was dead. Koga who had been dead for months! Koga who was actually a wolf all this time? The wolf all this time??
You shoved your hands blindly in the direction of his face to feel it. Human nose. Human cheeks. Human lips.
"We can talk about it later," he fussed. "Let's just get the hell out of here."
"Ok," you quietly answer, letting him pull you against his bare chest and across the last stretch of land before your house.
The two of you stumbled through the back door and tracked mud through the kitchen to the couch, but you didn't care. Too many things happening at once. Naked guy in your living room, naked guy who was a wolf? Possible broken ankle. Adrenaline from a wild attack. Your brain was going to explode.
Koga was already kneeling at your feet massaging around your ankle. How the tables turned. Now it was your turn to let out little sounds when something stung.
"Doesn't feel too bad, just a really bad sprain. You're such a klutz." He stood up and turned back for the kitchen. Cheeks out and everything and he didn't even care that you could see it all. "I'll grab some ice."
"So explain to me what the hell that was!" You called back to him. It was driving you mad. "When you disappeared I thought you were gone gone. Like eaten alive gone. My shredded nightgown was just there and giant tracks were just there . A shapeshifter? That's nuts!"
Koga walked back over to you with a frozen pack of beans, wanger out and everything.
"And put on clothes please!" You blushed furiously. It might have been natural when his entire body was covered in fur, but now it was indecent. In a Lady's home!
Koga rolled his eyes and tossed you the frozen bag.
"And what would the princess suggest?" He bit back.
You caught the bag before it smacked you in the face and wrapped it around your ankle.
"I don't know! A blanket, a towel? I might have pants that fit in the basket upstairs." You didn't realize you gave him access to lingerie scrounging until it was too late. He came back wearing grey sweatpants quickly enough that you tried to forget about it.
Now that things had settled down, you took note Koga still had blood caked on his face. It crusted over his messy bangs and painted one of his eyebrows. You hoped it wasn't any of his. His bare chest was devoid of bite marks or scarring which seemed really weird for a fight like that. Maybe injuries healed during his transformations? It would make sense with how much his body changed during it. As much sense as the transformation itself anyway.
Koga flung himself into the seat beside you and spread his arms across the back of the couch sighing. You reached up to chip away at the eyebrow flakes when his eyes fluttered closed.
"Thanks for saving me by the way," you muttered.
He kept his eyes closed when he replied.
"Your gramps said to take care of ya. Had to."
You made a quizzical noise.
"He caught me the night I was cursed," Koga confessed. "I was still young and scared as hell. What I said before about him telling me not to cause a fuss. That was me being a little shit and not knowing how wolf temper worked. I lashed out at him; left a few scars. He never said anything but I regret it. He sorta raised me."
"Like a pet," you let slip.
"Not a pet!" He spat back. "I'm a lone wolf. My own pack. I don't need anyone."
"Okay, Mr. 'I'll keep watch over this man's house who I basically owe my life to'." You glanced over. "Mr. 'I'll redeem myself by saving his grandkid to prove I'm a man of my word'. Oh sorry ‘ wolf of my word’."
"Fuck you."
"Thank you."
You put your hand on his thigh and gave it a tight squeeze.
"Really. Thanks. I don't know what I would have done."
Koga didn't look over at you and it was a good thing because you knew the thoughts racing through your head of the what-ifs were pushing you to the limits and tears threatened to fall. You tried to change the subject.
"So, how does the curse work?" You asked. "How did you even get it?"
Koga shrugged his shoulders and let out a nonsensical sound.
"Dunno, just popped into a wolf one night and that was it. Then when there's a new moon it's like the thing in me loses its power and I'm human for as long as the night lasts."
"What were you even doing so far from town?"
Koga slumped over his knees and cradled his forehead in his hands.
"Ran away from home. Thinking back the reason was so stupid. Parents wanted to move to the city and I said I'd rather join a pack in the forest than leave town. Ironic."
So he ran away from home. Slept in the forest for days eating the fruits from bushes he could find. He stumbled across your grandfather's cabin and just as he thought of interacting with the man out front planting seeds, his body convulsed. Grandfather spotted him hunched over breathing heavy and ran over to help but it was too late by then. He finished his transformation and returned kindness with childish anger and lashed out at the man's chest. Only he no longer had normal strength. He had claws for killing. The only thing that lessened the attack was it was Koga's first transformation and his body was exhausted.
The old man spoke calmly to him and flipped Koga over his shoulder and they headed back to the cabin. He pulled a wooden chair out from the wall and sat down in it, staring at Koga sitting on all fours. Said he might be delusional from old age but he'd keep Koga around if he was good.
Koga, young and lost, listened and when he mysteriously turned human those few nights, Gramps would spend those nights talking away like nothing had changed. Just went with what was thrown at him.
"Some days I'd lay around the house as a wolf and he'd tell me stories 'bout his kid and their kid. They lived in the city too. He had a bunch of letters he kept in a box he’d leaf through from his grandkid. Well I guess that was you." Koga cackled. "Ya loved fishing. Used to wear matching hats and had this tree branch with a worm on a string and ya just sat it in mud puddles."
You were embarrassed he knew more about younger you than you did. Did grandfather have a big mouth or what? How much else did he gush about. At the same time it pained you to think that maybe grandfather took him in because you had stopped visiting. Maybe there was a void that Koga was able to fill. Someone to reminisce with; to make new memories with.
"So you just turn human once a month and run through the forest naked and unafraid? Is that how you've been living?" You asked incredulously.
"Gramps left clothes out for me sometimes! The times he didn't were punishment for shredding the previous pair." Koga said sheepishly.
You hummed.
"So technically I shouldn't have given you those pants, huh?"
Koga turned his head towards you and raised his still slightly flaky eyebrow.
"I didn't ask for ‘em." You rolled your eyes.
"So now that the secret's out, does that mean you're going to stick around? Having a hunting dog would be helpful when I'm-" you motioned to your leg. "Y'know."
"Only if you stop calling me a dog. I'm a proud lone wolf."
"Well proud or not you should really wash that blood off. It's kind of gross."
He took that as a cue to stand and shove you fully on the couch. He was kind enough though to prop your leg on a pillow with the frozen bag of beans.
"And you should rest."
You fell asleep to the sound of water running and woke to an empty house.
The following days were spent puttering around inside. Ankle not fully functional but not sore enough to stay immobile. True to his word, Koga did return. Sometimes with prey. Sometimes without. Sometimes just to chill at your door while you hung laundry or tended to the plants in the back.
Even after your ankle healed he stuck around. You began leaving clothes out in a bag on a stump for him when the moon waned and slowly the two of you became friends. Friends who threatened that platonic boundary with wandering hands and steamy gazes in the heat of summer. Friends who sometimes kissed on cold winter nights. You thought maybe that was fine. It was definitely fine. He was entrusted to you after all. Or maybe you, to him.
You were allowed to fall in love with the watchdog.