Work Text:
"Hi, you,” someone said. ”What’s your name?”
Arthur looked up from the counter.
Shit.
“Arthur,” said the guy that Arthur had seen walk past the café at least ten times. He was looking at Arthur’s nametag. “Arthur. A good name. Nice to meet you.”
“Yeah,” Arthur said and bit his lip. He hadn’t exactly been staring at the guy for the past few days. It was just that this was a small town. Usually, when there was a young man walking past the coffee shop, it was someone Arthur had been in kindergarten with. Or in elementary school. Or in high school. Or in most cases, all of those.
“So, Arthur,” said the guy who hadn’t been in Arthur’s high school. “Can I get a coffee?” The guy was either British or very good at faking accents for no obvious reason. Also, he was a little shorter than Arthur. That was a surprise. But still he managed to look big, maybe even bigger than when passing by on the street. Maybe he was one of those people who spent all their time at the gym. That would be disappointing. Arthur had always been a little suspicious about people who liked to go to the gym. But then again, the guy looked clever, and like he was smiling at some silent joke, or maybe at Arthur.
Oh, fuck.
“Coffee?” Arthur asked.
“Yeah,” the British guy with the shoulders said, “since this is a café, I thought maybe you have some.”
Arthur blinked. “Yeah. Of course.”
“Great,” the British guy said. “Just a cup of coffee, please. And no milk. And some of that blueberry pie. Thank you. My name is Eames, by the way.”
“Alright,” Arthur said and turned his back to Eames. Coffee. No milk. Blueberry pie. What kind of a name was Eames, anyway? Was it a joke? Was it a reference Arthur didn’t get? What was happening? Why would someone British and good-looking ever come to this town? It wasn’t even at the coast. Maybe Eames was lost. But he didn’t look lost. He looked a little amused, which was odd, because there was nothing humorous going on, hadn’t been in at least fifteen years in this town. And why was he looking at Arthur?
“Thank you,” Eames said when Arthur gave him the coffee and the pie and almost forgot to charge him. Then Eames went to sit at the table in the corner, drank the coffee and ate the pie. Arthur didn’t stare at him all the time but instead glanced at him occasionally. He was subtle about it. Eames probably didn’t notice anything.
**
Eames came back to the café three days later. Meanwhile, Arthur had been thinking about him hardly at all. Arthur had also had only two dreams about him, and the dreams had been barely sexual. But when he saw Eames walking across the street and towards the café, he froze.
“Arthur,” Ariadne said in a worried tone, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Arthur said. He didn’t have time to point out that he wasn’t nervous to see Eames again, because that was when Eames opened the door and looked at him.
“Arthur!”
“He knows your name,” Ariadne said.
“Yeah,” Arthur said and straightened his back. Last night, he had had a dream in which they had been Vikings and there had been a shipwreck, but luckily the island where they had ended up had been an amusement park. Eames had bought him a cotton candy and then put a hand on his knee.
“Good morning,” Eames said, resting his both elbows against the counter and leaning over the row of coffee cups. “I’m glad that I found you here.”
“I work here,” Arthur said. He had a feeling that Ariadne was looking at him. He tried to act normal.
“Right,” Eames said and frowned. “Are you alright?”
Arthur cleared his throat. “Yes. What do you want?”
“Coffee,” Eames said and smiled. His smile was really lovely and Arthur did his best not to stare. “I would like some coffee, if you have it. And blueberry pie. How’s your morning, by the way?”
“Fine.”
“Great,” Eames said and rubbed his chin. “As you may have noticed, I’m new in town. I was wondering if perhaps you could tell me where the library is.”
“Yes,” Arthur said and then went to get Eames that blueberry pie. There was something weird about the way Ariadne was looking at him, but he ignored her the best he could and focused on the pie and not looking at Eames. He vaguely noticed Ariadne telling Eames where the library was. Then Eames asked her about the mountains outside the town and if there were any good hiking routes, and she told Eames that Arthur loved hiking.
Later, when Eames was sitting at the table in the corner with a cup of coffee and a piece of blueberry pie, Arthur said to Ariadne that he hadn’t gone hiking in two years at least.
“Yeah,” Ariadne said, “but you used to go all the time. Remember the summer after we graduated from high school?”
“No,” Arthur said. He remembered it very well. “I just don’t understand why you’d mention it to Eames.”
Ariadne sighed. “Come on.”
“What do you mean, come on?”
“Arthur,” Ariadne said very pointedly, “he’s hot.”
Arthur looked at Eames, who was frowning at the blueberry stains on his fingers. He was very hot. “No, he’s not.”
“Really?” Ariadne asked. She sounded very skeptical about it.
“Yeah,” Arthur said, “he’s not my type.”
The problem was that Eames was exactly his type. Eames was exactly the type that Arthur would have noticed anywhere and would have never dared to go to talk to except maybe in a case of extreme emergency. Like, a fire or something. Eames looked like someone who always knew how to talk to people and had twenty different kinds of smiles in stock and flirted so casually it looked like he wasn’t even having a heart attack about it. That type of a guy. And Arthur, well, Arthur was exactly the opposite kind.
Now, Arthur rearranged the pies on the shelf ten times and kept very pointedly not staring at Eames, while Eames finished his coffee and blueberry pie and then sat there for fifteen more minutes without any obvious reason. Maybe he liked Ariadne or something. That would be bad. When they had been in high school, Arthur had had a thing for all of Ariadne’s boyfriends. It had been terrible.
“Thank you for the pie,” Eames said, when he was about to leave. He was leaning against the counter again, Arthur was trying to figure out which pie was which, and Ariadne was pouring another customer a cup of tea. “It was lovely. Listen, Arthur –“
“Yeah?”
Eames was chewing on his lower lip. “About that library.”
“Yeah?” Arthur asked, trying to look cool.
“I was wondering,” Eames said, “if you might want to take me there. I’m not very good with directions.”
“It’s just two blocks down this street,” Arthur said.
“Okay,” Eames said and cleared his throat. “Alright. I think I can find it if I try very hard. Another thing. Listen, I’m not trying to be presumptions here, but I kind of had a feeling that maybe you were eyeing me.”
Arthur blinked. “What?”
“Yeah,” Eames said slowly. He was still smiling but this smile was different from all the others. Maybe he was pissed. Or maybe he was about to laugh. Or maybe he felt sorry for Arthur because he thought Arthur had been eyeing him, and that maybe Arthur had finished college and then moved back home because he couldn’t find a job and also didn’t know what kind of a job to look for, and was now living in his parents’ attic in a small town where everyone knew him, and he knew that he was never going to get to have sex again because none of the four gay guys in the town liked him, which wasn’t really a big deal because he didn’t like them either, and also he had only had sex once in his life and it hadn’t gone so well, so maybe that just wasn’t his thing. But he was kind of lonely anyway. And recently, he had been watching Taboo on HBO and he had such a massive crush on James Delaney that it was kind of affecting his work, and really, what kind of a twenty-three-year-old was so interested in a fictional character that he kept mixing up blueberry and raspberry pie? They weren’t even the same color.
Shit, he thought. Eames was watching him with a careful look that surely meant Eames could read all this on his face. He was going to have to bluff.
“You’re wrong,” he said with as much confidence as he could fake, which was no confidence at all.
Eames frowned. “Really? Because I thought –“
“No,” Arthur said, shit, he had to figure out something soon or else Eames was going to see straight through him and never come back to the café again, and then he’d have nothing but James Delaney to think about for the rest of his life, shit shit shit, “no, I mean, not like that at least.”
“Like what?” Eames asked, even though he definitely knew. He was looking at Arthur like he couldn’t believe Arthur wasn’t gay and a little bit in love with him.
“I just meant,” Arthur said, “that me and Ariadne -,” and he glanced at Ariadne, who was talking to the other customer about the horses they had both known when they had been kids, “we’re kind of together.”
Eames stared at Arthur, then turned to look at Ariadne and then back at Arthur again. “Really? Because I asked her about you and I kind of got an idea that –”
“No, I mean,” Arthur said and bit his lip too hard. Think fast think fast think fast. “I like her. We aren’t together, I just… I’ve known her for a long time, and I like her.”
“Yeah, she’s lovely,” Eames said, his eyes fixed on Arthur. Arthur felt approximately as good and confident as when he had been eight years old and almost drowned in a pool. “But what do you mean, you like her? Surely you don’t like her? Like, really like her?”
“Yes,” Arthur said and then closed his mouth, because if he tried to say something else, he would most definitely say something like of course I don’t like her, I’m gay and I’ve been having dreams about you, and how do you feel about flying roller coasters and The Lord of the Rings, because that’s how the latest dream ended?
Eames looked at him for what felt like an hour and probably was five seconds. “Alright. I get it. I was wrong. I guess I’ll just… Well, this is the only café in the town, so I’ll probably come back in a few days. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Why would I mind?” Arthur asked.
“Yeah, alright,” Eames said. He sounded oddly disappointed. Maybe he was seeing through Arthur’s bluffing and realized Arthur liked him and was embarrassed on Arthur’s behalf. “See you later, then.”
“See you,” Arthur said and hoped he didn’t sound like he was in love. He waited until Eames had walked out of the door and to the street and was about to disappear from the sight, and then he was just about to start rearranging the pies on the shelf, when Eames turned around.
Shit.
“Ariadne,” Arthur said, interrupting a conversation about the horse called Duffy the Vampire Slayer.
“Yeah?” Ariadne asked and then glanced at the window. “Did he forget something?”
“No,” Arthur said. Eames had probably reached the conclusion that Arthur was indeed a little bit in love with him, and now he was going to come back and tell Arthur to stop dreaming about it. “Can you do something for me? Please?”
“Sure,” Ariadne said. “Do you need me to reboot Windows 10 for you again?”
“No,” Arthur said. That was a lie, but he could ask Ariadne about Windows 10 another time. “Quick, give me a kiss.”
Ariadne blinked at him.
“Please,” he said.
“I tried to kiss you when we were fifteen,” Ariadne said, “and you said –”
“Sorry,” Arthur said, leaned in and kissed her.
When he pulled back, Eames was looking at them through the glass on the door. He had definitely seen the kiss. Also, he could probably see from Ariadne’s face that she was never going to kiss Arthur again.
Arthur held his breath.
Eames stared at them for a few more seconds, then turned and started walking the street with busy steps.
“Care to tell me what that was about?” Ariadne asked.
“No,” Arthur said. His lips tasted weird. “Sorry. I just… I can’t find the strawberry pie.”
“We’re going to talk about this later,” Ariadne said.
They didn’t talk about it later. Arthur fled the café as soon as his shift ended and didn’t answer any of Ariadne’s texts, before his Windows crashed that evening and he had to call Ariadne. Then he apologized about the kiss once more and Ariadne reminded him about what he had told her when they had been fifteen. But apparently Ariadne was too distracted with Windows to discuss the kiss any further.
That night, Arthur dreamed that he had kissed Eames instead, and that they had been kidnapped to a city that was under water like Atlantis but looked more like New York. He had never been to New York but he had seen it in the movies.
**
Four days passed by until Eames came to the café again. Arthur was almost sure that Eames had seen straight through him and thought it was too awkward to come to the café where one of the workers was staring at him all the time. But when Eames came, he said nothing about the kiss or about Arthur staring at him. He only ordered coffee and then sat at the corner table, looking like he was thinking very hard.
When he was about to leave, Eames walked back to the counter and talked about the weather until Ariadne was out of hearing distance. He was very good at talking about the weather, and Arthur wanted badly to kiss him.
“So,” Eames said in a quiet voice, when Ariadne had gone to get another strawberry pie, “you really like her.”
“Yeah,” Arthur said. It came out a bit more eager than he had meant to, but that was because he was staring at Eames’ lips.
“Alright,” Eames said and nodded. “I know it’s not my business, but I happened to see you kissing her the last time I was here.”
“Oh,” Arthur said.
“Yeah.” Eames rubbed his forehead. “I just… she’s your best friend, right?”
“Yeah,” Arthur said, wondering how Eames knew that.
“So, when you like someone, she’s the one you talk about it with.”
“Yeah,” Arthur said, because Eames seemed to expect that.
“And now you don’t know who you could talk to about it.”
“Kind of,” Arthur said.
Eames cleared his throat. “You can talk to me, if you want.”
Arthur stared at him. “What?”
“I’m going to be in town for a while,” Eames said, “for work, and I happen to hate the people I’m working with, and I don’t know anyone else. So, if you wanted to, maybe we could go for a coffee or something and, you know, hang out.”
“Hang out?”
“That’s not how you say it?”
“No,” Arthur said quickly, “yeah, no, I meant that… this is the only café in the town. But there’s a gas station.”
“Sounds great,” Eames said.
“Great,” Arthur said. “So, you want to hang out with me at the gas station and talk about Ariadne?”
“Sure,” Eames said. He was smiling now. “About anything, really. But – and don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that the kiss looked weird or anything, but it did look weird, it looked like she wasn’t expecting it at all, and so… maybe I can help you.”
“Help me?” Arthur asked.
“Help you,” Eames said. He looked a little surprised himself. “Yeah, that makes sense. I’m going to help you to express your feelings to your lovely best friend that you fancy, and you’re going to keep me company.”
That sounded like a really bad plan on so many levels that Arthur could hardly get a grasp on it. “Sounds good.”
“Good,” Eames said. “What’re you doing tonight?”
Arthur was going to rewatch a few episodes of Taboo. “Absolutely nothing.”
Eames grinned at him. “Lovely. When does your shift end?”
“At five.”
“I’ll be here then,” Eames said, winked at him and left.
**
“So, tell me about your big crush on Ariadne,” Eames said. “How long have you liked her?”
“Hmm,” Arthur said. They were sitting at a table in the diner at the gas station. The table was, coincidentally, the same one where Arthur had once passed out in Dom’s lap. He had been seventeen and the incident had been awkward in many ways, mainly because Dom and Mal had drawn a dick on his forehead with a marker pen that had turned out to be waterproof, but also because he had thought he was in love with Dom. In retrospect, he suspected his crush on Dom was due to the sad fact that Dom had been the only person in his school who was both male and not a total idiot.
“I mean, I can see why you like her,” Eames said, and it took Arthur a few seconds to realize this was 2020 and they were talking about Ariadne. “She’s very clever, and funny, and she’s told me more things about Windows 10 updates than anyone else ever, and obviously she’s very beautiful, with her… eyes. And hair. And other things.” Eames cleared his throat. “But of course you know her better than me.”
“Yeah, she’s lovely,” Arthur said. It was more than a little upsetting that Eames seemed to like Ariadne that much. Maybe Eames and Ariadne would fall in love and Eames would move here permanently and hang out in the café all the time and kiss Ariadne right in Arthur’s face. Arthur could never live with that. He would have to move out of his parents’ attic, which was bad, because he didn’t know where he wanted to go. The other option in those circumstances would be to lock himself into the attic and never come out. That option seemed more realistic.
“Have you known her all your life?” Eames asked.
Arthur nodded.
“So, you’ve probably liked her for a long time, too.”
“Yeah,” Arthur said. It was kind of true. They had been friends for as long as he could remember. Their mothers had also been friends. And their grandmothers.
“Have you told her that you like her?” Eames asked.
Arthur stared at him. His eyes were so blue.
“Arthur?”
“Yeah,” he said and then remembered what Eames had asked. “No. I don’t know. I kissed her.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” Eames said slowly. “About that kiss –”
“What?” Shit. Maybe the kiss hadn’t looked real.
“It looked a little… hasty.”
“It wasn’t hasty,” Arthur said. “I’ve been thinking about kissing her since I was fifteen.” Ever since he had been fifteen, he had thought that no matter how much he cared about Ariadne, he would never want to kiss her. That was when Ariadne had tried to kiss him, and he had told her he was gay.
Eames looked a little disappointed. “You’ve liked her since you were fifteen? That’s like, I don’t know, ten years.”
“Eight years.”
“So, you’re twenty-three,” Eames said in a light tone. “I’m twenty-seven. Not that much older. Have you dated a lot of people?”
Arthur frowned. “I know how to kiss someone.”
Eames looked a little surprised. “I didn’t mean that you didn’t, I just…” He paused. “Really?”
“Yes,” Arthur said and then took a deep breath. “I’m just out of practice.”
Eames licked his lower lip. “Out of practice.”
“Yeah. That’s probably why you thought the kiss didn’t look real.”
“I never said it didn’t look real,” Eames said, “I just –”
“Because I genuinely like her,” Arthur said, “in a romantic way. I’m not having weird and inappropriate dreams about anyone else or anything.”
“Okay,” Eames said. “So –”
“I just haven’t kissed anyone in a long time,” Arthur said. The last time when he had kissed someone had been the one time when he had had sex with someone, a few days before his graduation from college. The kissing part had been pretty good, so it was kind of a pity that the sex had ruined the memory for him. “It’s been a year,” he told Eames.
“A year –”
“That’s not weird,” Arthur said, “it’s not weird that I haven’t kissed anyone in a year.” He blinked. “Is it?”
“No,” Eames said, “not at all. There’s no timeline for things like these. Sometimes you just don’t meet anyone you fancy for a long time, and then sometimes it just happens that you come to a tiny town in the U.S. for work and happen to meet someone who’s delightful and funny and always frowning and… but now I’m getting off track. So, are you planning to kiss her again?”
“Yes,” Arthur said. He certainly wasn’t.
“But you’re out of practice.”
“Yeah.”
Eames rubbed the side of his nose. He had a lovely nose. “This may sound crazy, but maybe you’d like to practice.”
Arthur was staring at Eames’ fingers now, so it took him a few seconds to realize what Eames had said. “Practice? How?”
Eames looked through the window. “With me, for example.”
Arthur looked through the window, too. There was nothing in there, except the parking lot where Dom had once pushed his hand into Arthur’s pocket when he had been looking for Arthur’s phone that Arthur had refused to surrender. That had been Arthur’s most sexual experience with another human being until he had been nineteen and in college and a lovely guy who had thought his name was Bill had touched his back in the cafeteria line. “What?”
“It was just something that crossed my mind,” Eames said.
“To practice kissing –”
“Yeah.”
“With you.”
“Well,” Eames said and smiled at him quickly, “I happen to be quite good at kissing. I’ve had practice. And since you don’t fancy me or anything, I’d be a perfectly safe choice for you. To practice kissing with. It wouldn’t be romantic to you or anything.”
Arthur shifted on the bench and tugged at the front of his jeans. He should probably stop thinking about kissing Eames, only it was a little difficult since they were talking about it. “Yeah. That makes sense.”
“It does?” Eames asked, sounding a little surprised.
“Yeah,” Arthur said, wondering if there was any chance he could get to the men’s room without Eames noticing the state of his crotch.
“You want to practice kissing with me,” Eames said slowly.
“Sure,” Arthur said, “alright. Thank you for offering.”
“You’re very welcome,” Eames said. He looked confused.
“Thank you,” Arthur said and then realized he had said that already. He cleared his throat and tried to think about something else, like, earthquakes or floods or cleaning the fridge or tits. The last one helped a little.
“Okay,” Eames said, fumbling with the napkin. It was very difficult to keep thinking about tits when there were Eames’ fingers right there. “You want to start now? The practicing?”
Arthur fixed his eyes on Eames’ face. “Maybe… in a minute. I just thought… maybe we should first… maybe I could talk to you about Ariadne.”
For a second he thought Eames looked disappointed. “Okay. Talk to me about Ariadne.”
So, Arthur talked about Ariadne for something like half an hour. Pretty soon he realized he was actually talking generally about the time when he had been a teenager living in his parents’ attic and riding his bicycle around town on Friday and Saturday evenings with Ariadne and Dom and Mal. Then high school had ended and Dom and Mal had got married. They had two children now and couldn’t keep up a conversation for more than five minutes because they hadn’t slept well since graduation. Ariadne had wanted to become an architect but had decided to work a little before going to college so that she would have something to pay for it with. She was still here, but the buildings she was drawing in her free time were spectacular. Arthur was certain she would be brilliant once she got a chance.
And Arthur had gone to college and studied English literature. He had no idea what he wanted to do with it. He didn’t want to be a teacher. He didn’t want to be a writer, either. He just loved stories. He had come back to town for a month or two so that he could figure out what to do with his life. That had been a year ago.
Then he remembered he was supposed to talk about Ariadne and how he was in love with her. It was very important to convince Eames about that, because then Eames would practice kissing with him. So, he talked about Ariadne and then about Windows 10, because there were only so many ways for him to express that she liked Ariadne’s beautiful face and whatever people were supposed to see in women they liked in a romantic way. But talking about Windows 10 really worked wonders for the situation in his jeans.
It turned out Eames had had troubles with Windows 10 as well. Then Eames said that he would have to go soon, but if Arthur wanted to kiss first, that would be perfect.
“Okay,” Arthur said.
“Okay,” Eames said. He looked very calm about it.
“So,” Arthur said and swallowed, “do I just… what do I…”
“Maybe we should stand up,” Eames said.
They stood up. The gas station was almost empty, because it was Tuesday night and the local teenagers only hung around on weekends. Arthur’s mother’s ex-hairdresser’s daughter’s boyfriend was still there at the other side of the counter, but he was staring at his phone with headphones on. Not a single car had passed by in more than ten minutes.
“Are you sure?” Eames asked. He sounded a little worried. Maybe he was thinking that Arthur might be in love with him after all.
“Of course,” Arthur said in his most reassuring voice. They were standing face to face. He thought he could smell Eames’ shampoo or cologne or laundry soap or something. He was pretty sure he had never wanted anything more than to kiss Eames now.
“Okay,” Eames said and smiled a little. “You’re kind of looking a bit nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” Arthur said. He was very nervous.
“So,” Eames said and cleared his throat, “just imagine that I’m Ariadne.”
Arthur coughed. “I don’t think I can do that. I don’t… you’re a lot taller.”
“That’s true,” Eames said slowly. “Okay. So, don’t imagine that I’m Ariadne.”
“Alright.”
“Do you want to… what if you just… step closer?”
“You could just kiss me,” Arthur said, because he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to be able to talk about it much more or else he’d get a heart attack or something. He had too many clothes on, his jeans were too tight at the crotch, his hands were sweating, his heart had gone crazy, and he didn’t think he had ever got to kiss anyone he had wanted to kiss as much as he wanted to kiss Eames.
“Really?” Eames asked. He sounded happy.
“Yeah,” Arthur said, “definitely, just…” And then he took a step closer. It turned out to be the right thing to do, because Eames leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth.
He closed his eyes.
In one of those dreams he had had about Eames, they had been in his room in the attic, only the house had been floating in the sea. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that Eames had come to Arthur’s room with an umbrella because it had been raining, and then he had taken almost all of his clothes off and sat down on the couch Arthur didn’t actually have in his boxers and socks. His socks had been bright red. He had had Jean-Luc Picard tattooed on his left shin. Picard had winked at Arthur, and Arthur had sat down on the couch next to Eames, and Eames had rested his hand on Arthur’s thigh. And then they had kissed. It had been almost like this. Arthur had hoped it would never end, but at that point he had already been aware that it was a dream and it was going to collapse any moment.
“Holy fuck,” Eames said now, pulled back and tugged at the front of his shirt. “I don’t know why Ariadne looked like that when you kissed her. You definitely aren’t out of practice.”
“What?” Arthur asked. His voice was hoarse and his heart was heavy and he really wanted to kiss Eames again and also unzip his trousers.
“You are…” Eames took a deep breath. “You were… that was…”
“Yeah,” Arthur said, because Eames looked a little confused.
“Anyway,” Eames said and glanced at the door. “That kiss was very good, and I think… you’re a lovely guy, Arthur, and you also smell good, and… I mean, I’ve got work to do, so maybe I should go now.”
Arthur stared at him. “You’ve got work –”
“Yeah,” Eames said, “yeah, we’re working at odd times. I’d much rather hang out with you, but a man’s got to earn his living, right, and also, you are…” He made a vague gesture towards Arthur. “You look… I really think it's best if I go now.”
“Okay,” Arthur said and bit his lip. “Are you going to come to the café again?”
“I think so,” Eames said. “When are you working?”
“Not tomorrow. But the day after tomorrow, I’m there the whole day.”
“Great,” Eames said and straightened the hem of his shirt, “that’s great, that’s just… I’ll be there.”
“Great,” Arthur said.
“Great,” Eames said and then smiled at him. “That was a good kiss.”
“Thank you,” Arthur said and then stared as Eames walked away. When he turned around, he saw that the guy behind the counter was looking at him.
**
Ariadne texted Arthur the next day. The timing was very inconvenient, because Arthur had just taken a very long shower and his wrist was still aching. He tried to grab the phone with his left hand and it ended up falling onto his nose. He let his right hand rest for half a minute and then tried reading Ariadne’s texts, but he dropped the phone again, this time onto his chin.
Ariadne 11:03: I heard you KISSED Eames
Ariadne 11:04: At the gas station
Ariadne 11:05: WHAT
Ariadne 11:07: I mean, excuse me, WHAT
Ariadne 11:09: I thought you were ignoring your feelings for him
Ariadne 11:12: Arthur I can see that you’ve seen these messages
Ariadne 11:13: Just answer me
Ariadne 11:15: Or I’ll come over
Ariadne 11:17: Actually your mom saw my mom at the supermarket yesterday
Ariadne 11:19: Apparently she thinks I should come for dinner
Arthur thought about not answering. But he had been thinking about nothing else except that kiss for fifteen hours now and not talking about it with anyone was kind of breaking his brain.
Arthur 11:23: Who told you?
Ariadne 11:25: Never mind
Ariadne 11:26: How was it?
Ariadne 11:28: Was it good?
Ariadne 11:29: I mean, it was good, right?
Ariadne 11:31: You’ve been thinking about nothing but him at work for DAYS
Arthur 11:35: That’s not true
Ariadne 11:38: ARTHUR
Ariadne 11:39: COME ON
Arthur 11:41: It was good
Arthur 11:43: Don’t tell anyone but
Arthur 11:44: I kind of like him
Ariadne 11:47: Don’t tell anyone???
Ariadne 11:50: What do you mean don’t tell anyone?
Ariadne 11:51: He KISSED you
Ariadne 11:53: Obviously he likes you too
Ariadne 11:55: Oh my god I can’t believe you’re finally going to find a boyfriend in this town
Ariadne 11:57: I thought it was impossible
Ariadne 11:58: Because
Ariadne 11:59: You know
Ariadne 12:01: There’re only five gays here and you don’t like the other four
Arthur 12:05: He doesn’t like me
Arthur 12:06: Not like that
Arthur 12:08: I need to tell you something
Arthur 12:09: Don’t be mad
Then he told Ariadne that he had told Eames that he liked Ariadne and that the whole kissing thing had been just him practicing how to better kiss Ariadne. The more he tried to have it make sense, the crazier it sounded, and Ariadne told him that multiple times and with Caps Lock. But eventually he managed to convince Ariadne that there was nothing going on between him and Eames, only that he kind of liked Eames very much, and that the best thing was to let Eames think he was in love with Ariadne instead. That way, Eames would spend time with Arthur and also not figure out Arthur couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Ariadne told him he was incredibly stupid and that it’d be better if he just told Eames the truth right away, and that there was a good chance that Eames actually liked him back, because why the hell would he have asked Arthur to kiss him otherwise? Arthur told her that he didn’t have the guts to do that and that if she told Eames Arthur liked him, Arthur would post on Instagram all the pictures about Ariadne when she had been fourteen and had cut her own bangs and then dyed her hair so that people wouldn’t notice the bangs. Ariadne told him she was thinking about bangs again and sent him a lot of pictures about girls who looked good with bangs.
The rest of the day was uneventful. Arthur watched a few episodes of Taboo but couldn’t stop thinking about Eames. At night, he had a dream in which he was trying to rob a bank with Eames, and the vault turned out to be Smaug’s hoard from the hobbit, so they had sex on the pile of gold coins and it was slightly uncomfortable but also very hot and not only because the dragon woke up.
**
“A coffee and a piece of blueberry pie, please,” Eames said and then leaned closer to him over the counter. “Any progress?”
“What?” Arthur asked.
“With her,” Eames said and glanced at Ariadne, who was trying to take care of the mess Arthur had made with the pies. Apparently he had acquired a habit of arranging pies when he was nervous, and he had been nervous the whole day, because he had been waiting for Eames to stop by. “Have you kissed her?” Eames asked in a whisper.
“No,” Arthur whispered back. “Do you want your coffee black again?”
“Yeah,” Eames whispered. “Did you tell her that you like her?”
Arthur bit his lip. “Not exactly.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” Arthur glanced at Ariadne. She was definitely ignoring them on purpose, but she was surprisingly subtle about it.
“You’ve got to take the risk,” Eames said in a serious voice. “If you really like someone, you’ve got to take the risk. Otherwise you’ll regret it later. By the way, Ariadne mentioned that you love hiking. When’s your next day off?”
“On Wednesday,” Arthur said.
“You’ve got a favorite hiking route?”
“I suppose so. What did you –“
“Great,” Eames said. “You’re going to take me there.”
Arthur stared at him. “Alright.”
“Alright,” Eames said and took his cup of coffee. Somehow Arthur had managed to pour it for him. He sipped his coffee, smiled and then fixed his eyes on Arthur. He looked hopeful. Maybe he was really excited about hiking.
“You’re an idiot,” Ariadne told Arthur later. Arthur told her to shut up.
**
“You didn’t tell me I need a raincoat,” Eames said, when they were in his car on their way to the mountains. It was raining. “I don’t have a raincoat.”
“You could’ve checked the weather report,” Arthur said.
“I did,” Eames said, “for London. It’s a habit.”
Arthur glanced through the side window. “That’s where you’re from?”
“Not exactly,” Eames said and then was silent for a moment. “I’m from Birmingham.”
“Birmingham?”
“Birmingham, England.”
“I knew that,” Arthur said and cleared his throat. “How long have you been –”
“In the States? Four weeks. For now.”
“Four weeks?”
“Yeah. I came here for the job. I’m going… I’m going to go to Cairo next.”
Arthur bit his lip. It was raining hard. Eames was going to get soaked if they really went to hike. The logical thing to do would have been to point out that the weather was crap and that they could do this any other day. But he was sitting in the car alone with Eames, it was half an hour’s drive to the parking lot where the route started, and Arthur had slept barely four hours last night, because he had been so excited to get to spend time with Eames.
“What do you do for a living?” he asked.
Eames laughed and then went suddenly quiet. “You’re not going to believe me if I tell you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re clever,” Eames said. “Well, you aren’t going to like it, either. So, maybe it’s for the best that I don’t tell you.”
“Do you like it?”
“In some ways,” Eames said slowly. “It’s exciting and challenging but also kind of messing with my sleeping habits. Maybe we should talk about you instead.”
“Alright,” Arthur said and took a deep breath. Maybe Eames was a night security guard. “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Eames glanced at him, then turned his eyes back onto the road. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“And you aren’t married or anything.”
“No.”
“Okay.”
“Did you -,” Eames paused. “Have you had a girlfriend? Before Ariadne?”
“We aren’t… No.”
“You’ve never had a girlfriend?”
Arthur bit his lip. “No.”
Eames nodded.
“Are you surprised?”
Eames rubbed his nose. “No.”
“Why?”
“Did you want one?”
Arthur opened his mouth and then closed it again.
“I think,” Eames said and slowed down a little, “I think that maybe we should find a store and buy me good shoes at least. Or else I’m terribly afraid that you’re going to have to carry me.”
Arthur laughed.
“What? You don’t think you can do that?”
“Absolutely not,” Arthur said. “Do you go to the gym?”
“Occasionally,” Eames said and glanced at him. “Why?”
“No reason.”
“I think that you look good, by the way,” Eames said, his eyes on the road. “So, if you’re wondering if maybe you ought to start lifting weights or something, don’t. Not everyone needs to look the same. You’re lovely.”
“I kind of like the way you look,” Arthur said. It seemed that the rain was getting worse.
Eames smiled a little. “Good to know. Maybe I’ll put a tank top on the next time we hang out. But I’ve got to warn you, I have tattoos.”
“I like tattoos,” Arthur said and then thought about it for a moment. “I don’t really like tattoos. But I’m sure yours mean something important.”
“They don’t mean anything,” Eames said, “except the one that says mom. I just like tattoos.”
Arthur tried not to think about Eames’ tattoos. “We could stop for lunch. It’s raining too much anyway.”
“I’m kind of hungry,” Eames said. “But I really wanted to go hiking with you.”
“We can go another day. Or we could have lunch and then drive all the way to the lookout spot. It’s the best part anyway.”
“Okay,” Eames said.
They had lunch and then drove to the lookout spot and sat in the car for two hours. Arthur wondered if he was supposed to talk to Eames about Ariadne, but he couldn’t figure out anything to say and Eames didn’t ask. Eames didn’t ask about his lack of earlier girlfriends either, and he didn’t ask about Eames’ love life nor Eames’ career, and he didn’t let himself think that maybe, just maybe, he had read something wrong. Maybe Eames wasn’t hanging out with him because he thought Arthur needed his advice with women. Maybe if Arthur had tried to kiss him, he would have kissed Arthur back.
It didn’t stop raining. They drove back to the town and Eames dropped Arthur off at his house. He said hello to his mom and then went to the attic and locked the door.
**
Ariadne 18:32: I heard you went hiking with Eames today
Ariadne 18:34: How was it??
Ariadne 18:35: Did you KISS HIM
Ariadne 18:38: Please tell me you kissed him
Arthur 18:51: He thinks I like you
Ariadne 18:53: No he doesn’t
Arthur 18:57: Yes he does
Ariadne 19:02: No he doesn’t
Ariadne 19:04: He’s not stupid
Ariadne 19:06: Anyone who’s not stupid could see that you’re into him
Arthur 19:11: Shut up
Arthur 19:19: What do you think I should do
Ariadne 19:20: I’m glad you asked
Ariadne 19:21: It’s simple
Ariadne 19:22: TALK TO HIM
Arthur 19:24: But if he liked me, he would’ve said something
Arthur 19:25: Surely
Ariadne 19:29: He KISSED you
Arthur 19:30: For practice
Ariadne 19:33: Arthur you fucking shithead you’re my best friend
Ariadne 19:35: And excuse me I’ve been drinking a lot of coffee today
Ariadne 19:37: But so that you know
Ariadne 19:39: I know that you liked Dom
Ariadne 19:40: Even though you never told me
Ariadne 19:42: I know
Ariadne 19:45: And I know you love Mal too and it still broke your heart that they got together
Ariadne 19:48: And that you never got to tell Dom how you felt about him
Ariadne 19:50: But this is DIFFERENT
Ariadne 19:52: There’s a good chance that Eames likes you
Ariadne 19:54: Why do you think he’s coming to the café everyday
Ariadne 19:56: Not for good customer service surely since you keep messing up the pies
Arthur 20:01: We’re the only café in the town
Ariadne 20:03: Just tell him
Ariadne 20:05: What’s the worst that could happen?
Arthur 20:07: He could tell me that he doesn’t like me that way
Ariadne 20:10: Yeah
Ariadne 20:11: And so what
Ariadne 20:12: SO WHAT
Ariadne 20:13: At least you would’ve tried
Ariadne 20:15: That’s like a million times better than not trying because you’re afraid
Arthur stared at the phone. He wasn’t sure about Ariadne’s calculations but the general point seemed to make sense. He just didn’t think he could ever tell Eames about how he felt. The sheer thought made his hands shake.
But then again, the only thing that was more terrifying was that he wouldn’t tell Eames, and Eames would leave town without knowing how Arthur would feel about him, and they would never see each other again.
**
The next day, Arthur was trying not to touch the pies when Eames walked in. It was a sunny day. Eames was wearing a tank top and his arms looked huge. He walked to the counter and tugged at his hem.
“What’s going on?” he asked, looking in between Arthur and Ariadne, who was cleaning the tables and staring at Arthur.
“Nothing,” Arthur said. “Listen –”
“Did you tell her?” Eames asked, leaning closer. He looked suddenly a little worried. Maybe he was worried that Arthur had told Ariadne about his supposed feelings for her and Ariadne had turned him down.
Arthur swallowed. “No. Eames, I think –”
“No?” Eames asked and glanced at her. “Have you messed up with the pies again? She’s looking at you pretty pointedly.”
“Eames,” Arthur said even though his heart was beating so heavily that he was afraid Eames would hear it, “we need to talk.”
He took Eames to the cold room, because there they would at least have privacy. It was a bonus that Eames could think the way Arthur’s hands were trembling was because of the cold.
The downside, however, was that Arthur would have to tell Eames about his feelings soon or they would both freeze to death.
“Is something wrong?” Eames asked. Then his eyes widened. “Did you find out what I do for a living?”
“No,” Arthur said.
“Thank god,” Eames said and looked around. “There’re a lot of frozen pies in here.”
“Yeah, we don’t bake them,” Arthur said. “I don’t like Ariadne.”
Eames blinked at him. “What?”
“Well, of course I like her,” Arthur said, “she’s my best friend. But I don’t like her like that.”
“Oh,” Eames said. “Alright.”
“I just wanted you to think that I did.”
“Oh,” Eames said.
“Because I didn’t want you to notice that -,” Arthur said and cleared his throat. “That I like you.”
Eames grinned. “You like me?”
“Yeah,” Arthur said. “But not as a friend. I like you as a…”
“As a what?”
“Gay,” Arthur said, “I’m gay.”
Eames shrugged. “Okay. Great.”
“Great?”
“Yeah. I was getting a little worried.”
“About what?”
“About that maybe you weren’t gay after all and maybe you didn’t like me that way,” Eames said, watching him.
“You knew I was gay?”
“Well,” Eames said slowly, “I strongly suspected it, because, you know, you kept staring at me. But then you told me that story about how you liked Ariadne, and I thought that you were bluffing, but frankly, I’m a romantic. That was a good story. And she’s a lovely woman. And the two of you clearly are close. So, I had my doubts. I thought that if I kissed you, you’d definitely blow your cover. But you didn’t.”
“I had a dream in which we had sex on Smaug’s hoard,” Arthur said.
“Oh,” Eames said, “that’s hot.”
“Yeah,” Arthur said, “it ended badly. Why did you kiss me?”
“Because I wanted to kiss you, you idiot,” Eames said very fondly. “And because I thought that maybe you liked me too and just couldn’t say it. Have you had a boyfriend before?”
“Before?”
“I’ve got to admit, I’m not looking forward to having a long-distance relationship,” Eames said, “but I think it’s manageable, and really, I can’t stop travelling. It’s essential in my line of business.”
“So, what do you do, exactly?”
“It’s probably for the best if we never discuss that,” Eames said. “Unless I need you to bail me out from jail one day, and even then, I think we should discuss it as little as possible. I don’t want you to look at me differently, darling. It’s a little bit chilly in here, did you notice?”
“Yes,” Arthur said. “And what did you say about a long-distance relationship?”
“Maybe we should go somewhere,” Eames said. “I’m wearing a tank top today because I kind of got an idea that you might like my arms, and I know I’m from England, but there’s still a limit to how much cold I can take. I live in a hotel, you can come over if you like.”
“I’m at work,” Arthur said. “What do you mean, a long-distance relationship?”
“I’ve had two boyfriends,” Eames said, “and the both cases were very unfortunate even though only one of them got arrested. But I promise you that I’m going to do my best not to get you arrested. I like you, Arthur. I like you a lot. I can’t remember when the last time was that I’ve liked someone so much. And it kind of totally surprised me. I only came to this town because the money for the job was so good. This place isn’t even on the coast. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love.”
“Fall in love?”
“What did you think this was about?” Eames asked, licking his lips. They were turning blue.
“I think I’m in love with you,” Arthur said, because he kind of had the feeling Eames had just said that to him and he didn’t want to get left behind. Also, he was so cold that he couldn’t feel his trembling heart anymore, which made everything easier.
“Great,” Eames said and opened his mouth, and then Ariadne yanked the door open behind Eames’ back.
“You two,” Ariadne said, “are the stupidest people I’ve ever met. You’ve locked yourself into a cold room. Eames, you’re wearing a tank top. Arthur, you look worse than when we went skinny dipping in October in our sophomore year. If the two of you don’t get out of here this second, I’m going to call my mom and tell her to call your mom, Arthur.”
“Shit,” Arthur said.
“Shit,” Eames said.
“Yeah,” Ariadne said and kept the door open until they walked out. “By the way, Eames, Arthur doesn’t like me, he likes you.”
“Yeah, I know,” Eames said, “he told me.”
Ariadne looked a little surprised. Eames looked smug and Arthur really wanted to kiss him.
**
He kissed Eames later, when his shift was over and they were at his parents’ attic. They had meant to go to Eames’ hotel but Arthur’s parents’ house had been closer, and besides, his dad was supposed to be at his aerobics class and his mother was supposed to be shooting pigeons. They snuck upstairs and kissed in Arthur’s bed until they could hear through the floor that Arthur’s parents had got home.
Things were pretty good after that. On some days, Arthur couldn’t believe his luck, and on some days, he wanted to strangle Eames. But most days were good. He was a little worried that he would ruin this since he had never had a boyfriend before, but then again, Eames was so weird that having a normal person for a boyfriend probably wouldn’t have counted, anyway. He told Eames that he didn’t have much experience with sex, and Eames said that he didn’t have much experience with microwave ovens and therefore they were even. Sometimes Arthur wondered where Eames had gone to school, but he already knew the answer. England.
It turned out that Arthur had been wrong when he had thought that maybe sex wasn’t his thing. Sex with Eames was definitely his thing. Eames got excited about weird things like Arthur’s knees and completely ignored Arthur’s nervousness and the fact that it took Arthur three weeks to figure out where to put his hands. It was easier to forget how nervous he was when Eames didn’t seem to mind it. And in the beginning, when Arthur was still thinking about everything he had heard about sex and about all the things he was supposed to do and like and be capable of, Eames just wanted to cuddle and watch Jurassic Park and kiss for hours without a shirt and fondle Arthur’s knees, and when Arthur opened Eames’ zipper and pushed his hand into Eames pants, Eames looked at him like he had done something absolutely brilliant and quite astonishing. That’s also what Eames said afterwards in a breathless voice.
Arthur’s mother liked Eames. Arthur’s father seemed a little confused when Eames batted away the question about what he did for a living, but it turned out Eames loved the British tv-shows about gardening that Arthur’s father had been watching alone for a decade. So, Eames talked British gardens with Arthur’s father and about James Bond with Arthur’s mother and never implied that it was a little sad that Arthur was living with his parents again. Once, Eames told Arthur a story about how he had got arrested in Turkey and when he had finally got back to England, he had lost what was left of his money in a gambling accident, and then he had had to stay at his mother’s guestroom for half a year. Arthur chose not to ask why Eames had got arrested in Turkey. He asked if Eames still had a gambling problem, and Eames went quiet and said he was working on it.
Once in a while, Eames came to the café, ordered coffee and blueberry pie and sat at the corner table, and Arthur tried not to think about how he got to kiss Eames in his free time. He broke three coffee cups during the first week, and Ariadne laughed a lot.
Then one day after a month of kissing, perfectly clumsy sex, a few hiking trips and lots of blueberry pie, Eames told Arthur his job was finished and he was going to fly to Cairo next week.
**
**
Eames 03:25: Arthur my darling
Eames 03:27: I have landed
Eames 03:29: I’m in Cairo
Eames 03:31: So sorry not to be there
Eames 03:32: The sun’s too bright
Eames 03:34: Can you remember where I put my sunglasses???
Eames 03:36: I think the last time when I had them was when we had sex last night
Eames 03:39: You remember
Eames 03:42: I HOPE you remember
Eames 03:43: Because I thought it went pretty well
Eames 03:45: And I looked very cool
Eames 03:47: Didn’t I???
Eames 03:49: Arthur I thought you liked my look!!
Eames 03:51: I hope you weren’t laughing at me silently
Eames 03:54: Always laugh at me out loud so that I can laugh with you darling
Eames 03:57: Shit thinking about sex wants me to do things with you
Eames 03:59: Like eat ice cream
Eames 04:00: And remember the thing you did with your thumb last night
Eames 04:02: I hope you do because I’m not going to specify
Eames 04:03: I’m at my hotel now and there’s air conditioning
Eames 04:05: I miss you darling
Eames 04:07: Anyway why aren’t you answering
Eames 04:09: Maybe you’re at work
Eames 04:12: I think I’ve sent you like twenty texts sorry about that
Eames 04:14: I hope I’m not too eager
Eames 04:15: But I kind of like you A LOT
Eames 04:17: Like, A LOT
Eames 04:19: I had a glass of wine on the plane sorry about that
Eames 04:22: But you’re lovely and your eyes and your face and your everything and the way you talk to me and well
Eames 04:25: You make me laugh
Eames 04:26: Especially when you don’t mean it
Eames 04:28: And you’re so serious about things
Eames 04:29: It’s lovely
Eames 04:31: I’m thinking that when I’m finished with this job maybe we could go somewhere together
Eames 04:33: I’m thinking maybe Hawaii
Eames 04:34: But Denver’s fine too
Eames 04:36: Anything really
Eames 04:39: OH SHIT I just realised you’re asleep
Eames 04:40: sorry darling
Eames 04:42: Anyway I just wanted to say I miss you
Arthur 08:32: Yes I was asleep and almost got a heart attack when I woke up to, excuse me, 41 texts
Arthur 08:34: I thought something bad had happened
Arthur 08:39: I miss you too idiot