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Tomato sauce-war paint

Summary:

" A slimy yellowish-white substance dripped from the shoulder of the trench coat wearer. If Sam didn't know better he would say it was raw egg, and the pale lint with which the angel was speckled looked suspiciously like cheese. "

Alternate summary: "what happens if Cas visits the bunker after the watermelon-pizza cooking session with Maison?"

A One-shot dedicated to Misha's video "Cooking with Maison & West - Watermelon-egg-pizza" I watched recently

Notes:

Yesterday I watched Misha's video "cooking with maison & west: watermelon-egg-pizza", and the idea for this little one shot came to me. How would Sam and Dean react to Cas covered in Tomato sauce and watermelon?...

English is only my second language, and this is my very first FF, so if you find errors, you can keep them ;p

Otherwise, enjoy this little One shot ;)

Work Text:

Sam and Dean were sitting in the library of the bunker, researching information on a suspected demonic possession in a nearby town.

Cas appears, covered in pizza toppings and dripping wet with tomato sauce, after a cooking session with Maison and West.

+++

Dean flinched, startled for a moment, by the sudden appearance and then turned to their friend.

"Damnit Cas. How often do I have to tell y ... Cas? Is that blood on your coat?"

The dripping angel looked down at himself for a moment. An illegible expression formed on his face.

"...Yes...?" came his hesitant answer.

Dean looked him up and down.

"Wow ... this must have been a really hard fight. Hope you got them good, dude."

Cas seemed to be a bit uncomfortable at Dean's words.

"Uhh ... yea ... hehe ..."

Sam squinted his eyes.

Even if his brother might believe Cas, Sam wasn't very convinced by the angel's performance.
On the one hand, this uncertain reaction did not fit the otherwise tough warrior, and on the other hand, Cas did definitely not look like if he had just come from a fight.

A slimy yellowish-white substance dripped from the shoulder of the trench coat wearer.
If Sam didn't know better he would say it was raw egg, and the pale lint with which the angel was speckled looked suspiciously like cheese.

The whole appearance of their ethereal friend made him a little puzzled.

The angel was just beginning to wipe his face with handkerchiefs which he had apparently conjured up when the younger Winchester raised his voice.

"Tell me Cas, is that egg on your shoulder?"

Confused, the addressed looked at his shoulder. Another unreadable expression crossed his face.

"I ... well ... I-I uh ..." he stuttered.

At that moment a large piece of watermelon decided to slip off his not-so-white-anymore shirt and landed with a loud 'splat' on the floor.

"What the...?!"

The older Winchester looked at his celestial friend in amazement, who now looked rather guiltily.

When he started to push around again, there was an amused snort from Sam.

"Based on the cheese and your red war paint, which seems pretty sure to be tomato sauce, I'd say you had a pizza baking session. That doesn't explain the egg, let alone the melon, though."

Sam's remark made Dean take another closer look at the smeared angel.

Then the older Winchester wiped a finger through the red smear on Cas's face, sniffed it carefully to finally take a little taste test.

His eyebrows rose.

"Indeed. It's tomato sauce. Cas, what does that mean?"

Now both brothers looked expectantly at their friend, looking forward to his explanation.

Castiel crumpled a little before finally taking a sigh and hesitantly trying to find an explanation.

"Well, you see...", he began,

"my children really wanted to bake a pizza themselves for dinner. At one point Maison slipped on a piece of melon and when suddenly an egg flew, the whole thing got a bit out of hand and got pretty wild. So we had to..."

"WAIT WHAT?", Dean interrupted dismayed.

"You wanted to put Melon on Pizza?! What tempted you to even think about that?! Fruits don't belong on Pizza. No Pineapple, no grapes and definitely no Watermelon! Why would you do something like that?!"

"Dean!DEAN!" Sam broke his brother's rambling off.

"What?!" The elder glared at him.

Sam looked baffled.

"Cas just told us he actually had kids... which whom he baked pizza with. And everything you take from this is Watermelon on Pizza?!"

Dean shot him a disgruntled look.

"Every fruit on Pizza is a crime, Sammy!"he whined.

A sigh slipped from the younger Winchester. "Seriously Dean. You are such a child. Maybe I will have Cas babysit you when I'm away. You are like his own illegitimate child anyway."

The trenchcoated Angel cocked his head to the side, his eyes squinted in confusion.

"I don't understand. Dean and I aren't related by blood in any way. Nor have I been under any law that constricted the concept of offsprings. How could he be my illegitimate child??"

Sam facepalmed himself.

"You're killing me both here! Dean get yourself together! And Cas... can you please clean yourself up. You're dirtying the floor. Did the Watermelon-egg-Pizza taste good at least?"

The angel scratched his neck.

"Well...uhm..."