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Sam wasn’t totally sure when Blaine became his best friend.
Sometime after the election and before Grease they sort of fit together, just like the Lego sets he’s collected since he was seven, and then became inseparable along the way (just like his Lego sets after he glued the bricks down).
He’d noticed Blaine didn’t really have anyone - not that people didn’t like him, because everyone loved Blaine, it was like one of his personality traits to be loved by everyone, but since Kurt left he had kinda just been by himself. And he didn’t want to be too full of himself, but Sam definitely noticed that he had started perking up a bit, and coming out his shell even more since the two of them became close, not just obsessing over school and glee, but actually hanging out and doing normal stuff too.
One of his favourite bits about their friendship was how touchy they could be, and it not be weird in any way. Not that two guys touching is weird, cos he’s comfortable enough in himself to know that’s totally chill, but he and Blaine could be super tactile and close and that was just normal. A pat on the arm, nudge of the shoulder, hand on chest - just nice dude things.
Except for the last week, where Blaine just had not been touching him at all.
Sam really didn’t know how to bring it up without seeming weird. Cos like, he missed it. Blaine wasn’t ignoring him, or being distant, or whatever, it’s just the touches that had stopped. They’d still hit the gym together, or attend Secret Society of Superheroes meetings, or occasionally take over the glee club when Mr Schue decided to go off again. And they still had their bro banter, laughing back and forth and geeking out sometimes, though whereas before, when Blaine would accent these moments with a clap on the back, or a slight rest of his hand on his chest, now his limbs stayed only straight by his side.
After seven whole days of this, Sam was now starting to get a little confused, verging on upset. Had he done something to upset Blaine? Did his best friend just not wanna hang out with him as much?
The final straw came when he saw Blaine giving Tina a shoulder massage - Tina - when he hadn’t given Sam a backrub in over a week, and he knew he had to get to the bottom of this, and fast.
~ 1.
Firstly, he had to test his theory.
Luckily, Sam had seen enough Bill Nye growing up to understand the importance of needing to do an experiment to get a conclusion, or something like that. He tended to zone out in most science classes unless they were gonna make something blow up or Blaine was sitting next to him to help him understand.
So when they’re heading out to the car park after school and Sam sees Ryder giving Sugar a piggyback, he quickly turns around to Blaine and jerks a thumb over his shoulder.
“Dude, get on.”
Blaine blinked a few times, nose scrunching up in the way it did when he was confused. “Uh, what?”
He rolled his eyes at the shorter boy and repeated the action, with a little added emphasis. “Ride me, man.” Sam paused for a moment as Blaine seemed to choke on air for some reason. “On my back, maybe we can see if Ryder and Sugar wanna race us. Haven’t been able to get my pump on today anyway.”
Partly, this was to try and prove his theory Blaine wouldn’t touch him anymore, but it was also cos Sam really did want to give him a piggyback - the brunet just fit so well on him, all compact but a good weight.
“Oh, I don’t know... I reckon I’m too heavy,” Blaine stuttered slightly, his cheeks colouring as he spoke, and avoiding making eye contact. Ryder and Sugar were now at the other end of the car park and the ‘point’ of the piggyback ride was kinda slipping away, so Sam turned and squatted a bit, knees wide to try and encourage him on.
“Dude, you weigh nothing - don’t even start - why not just hop on?”
He waited, bending over slightly and waiting to feel his friend clamber on, but his back was left Blaine-less for far too long so he craned his neck around. “Do you not want to?”
Sam didn’t want to pressure him into anything, but they also used to give each other piggy backs every other day, so it wasn’t as if this was new territory. Blaine just stood there, eyes wide and fixed very determined on the wall next to them with pretty red cheeks.
“Um, I, uh, actually, I think I left some books inside, so I’ll just see you tomorrow, I guess?” With that the shorter boy gave a strained smile and turned on his heel, borderline jogging inside and leaving Sam alone on the concrete.
Well, he had an answer to his question now at least, but he definitely didn’t like it.
~2.
Sam understood boundaries, and consent - he may not be test smart but he wasn’t ignorant . And the thing with Blaine was that he kept acting the same with everybody else: putting his hands on Brittney’s shoulders when talking to her, punching Artie on the arm as they laughed, wrapping an arm around Tina’s waist. He was a tactile guy, but he used to be tactile with Sam.
Yesterday, things had been a little better: Blaine had been a lot less weird and hadn’t stood a foot apart from him all day. He didn’t flinch when their shoulders brushed, or yank a hand away if their fingers met in the same bag of chips. The tingles that it sent down Sam’s spine must’ve come from the relief of knowing his friend didn’t hate him or something.
Feeling a bit happier and relieved, he headed to the choir room for glee club, sitting down in the front row with a spare seat next to him for Blaine. Annoyingly, Tina then came in and slouched onto it, bag tossed on the floor.
“Uh, T? Blaine was gonna sit there.”
She turned her head and glared at him, giving him that look that always made him like 95% scared but also 5% turned on. “Well, he isn’t here yet, is he?”
Sam really didn’t feel like being on the other end of her wrath, so he just nodded and stared back at the whiteboard, noticing a distinct lack of chairs in the room as people came in. Blaine rushed through the door last, mumbling something to Mr Schue about math over running, and then grinding to a halt before looking at all of them.
“Why are there no more chairs?”
Everyone lazily looked around, rotating their heads slightly but not caring much, Kitty going back to staring at her phone and Ryder and Jake continuing their conversation.
Marley stuck her hand in the air and offered him a small smile. “Uh, I think the band took some to the auditorium for extra rehearsals.” Trust Marley to be the one to pay attention to the musicians, she was always nicer than the rest of them.
Blaine sighed and made a little irritated noise, staring at the floor next to Sam with a resigned look as he went over to sit on it. No way.
“No way, dude; your tailbone is still busted from cheerleading yesterday.” Sam rolled his eyes at his best friend and tugged on his wrist, effectively pulling him onto his lap. Again, this was stuff the two of them did all the time, so he really didn’t have to think twice about it.
No one really gave them a second look as Mr Schue started talking, Sam wrapping one arm around Blaine’s waist for more stability. He felt the shorter boy tense a little, back rigid against his chest and legs almost hovering, as if touching their thighs together would give him some sort of rash.
It was kind of hard not to be offended a little - Sam had showered like, two hours ago, and had even put on cologne so he didn’t really know why Blaine would be sitting as if he was, unclean or something.
“Hey, man, everything ok?” he whispered into the brunet’s ear, noticing he smelt pretty good.
Blaine nodded back, hands enclosed over one another on his lap, staring straight at Mr Schue. “Fine,” he squeaked, coughing after speaking. Well, he wasn’t pushing himself off, so Sam just shrugged and tightened his grip a little, his free hand drumming on Blaine’s hip absentmindedly.
It was nice, having someone on top of him; a comforting sort of weight that he’d only really experienced from girls before, but having Blaine on his lap still felt nice, his best friend being so close. Plus, he didn’t have long hair that sometimes got stuck on his chapstick or went up his nose, instead just the smell of raspberry hair gel in front of him.
Sam barely even noticed what happened in glee club, mind sort of elsewhere for the rehearsal. He shuffled Blaine around a little, balancing him more in the centre of his lap and swapping arm holds, but the shorter boy did relax a little as the time went on at least. His sweater was distractingly soft, and Sam found himself playing with the hem of it more often than not, fingers occasionally brushing against Blaine’s own.
The bell rang for the end of class and everyone started getting up, Sam suddenly having a cold and empty lap as Blaine almost jumped up off of him. He missed his weight as soon as he left, wanting the smaller boy to come back and tuck himself into him again, maybe let both arms snake around his waist that time to keep him steady.
Tina shot him a weird look as she stood up as well, taking Blaine’s hand which he had extended out to her and - woah, that shouldn’t have made him as annoyed as it did.
“I’ll see you in history, then?”
Sam tilted his head expectantly at Blaine, who looked as if he swallowed hard before answering. “Yeah, uh, of course. I’ll save you a seat.” That was a running joke between them, as he always found himself late for history, getting distracted on the way from English by the fun displays of the east corridor.
He nodded, although when Blaine left all he could think about was how he should keep encouraging the band kids to keep the chairs out of the choir room as much as possible.
~3.
Thankfully, amongst the slight weirdness of the last week or so, he and Blaine had kept up most of their same routine, which included Friday evenings at the Anderson household, normally consisting of pizza and video games.
His relationship with his body was improving, that was for certain, and it was pretty much all down to Blaine, who slowly had encouraged him to start allowing more foods and ‘cheat’ meals to his diet. Sam owed a lot to his best friend he realised, the one person who didn’t make him feel stupid, and always tried his best to reassure him of his own success.
Mercedes had been that person for him for a while, but he was coming to realise Blaine went above and beyond that, sort of just becoming everything he needed right now.
But, it meant pizza was back on his menu, which he was feeling very happy about as he sat cross legged on Blaine’s bed, watching the Star Trek episode playing on his TV. Sam managed to swallow the slice he’d shoved in his mouth all in one go before turning to his friend and nudging his shoulder.
“You reckon Kirk and Spock ever got off? They seem pretty close, bro.”
Blaine gave him a funny look, leaning back against his headboard. “I don’t know, they could just be friends.”
Sam nodded and shook a hand, wiping off some grease onto his jeans. “Yeah, but like all the hand stuff and the like, subtext or whatever. I just get a bit of a gay vibe. Which, of course, is totally cool,” he added, just in case. His friend looked as if he was about to say something before he gave an enormous yawn, head tilting back and hand coming up to cover his mouth.
He then noticed the slight bags under his eyes and the way he seemed to be drooping slightly, leaning further against the pillows rather than supporting his own weight. Sam felt bad for not realising earlier, remembering how busy Blaine was with Glee, Cheerios, all his AP classes, student council, plus the mountain of other clubs he was in. Feeling a little guilty, he set the food down on the floor and outstretched an arm, leaving his chest open.
“You look dead, bro, have a lie down. I’ll wake you up before it gets too late.” Sam was fairly determined this time, their lack of contact continuing ever since their seat sharing and it was getting to him more than he’d like to admit. Plus, the brunet really did look exhausted, and the last thing Sam wanted was for his best friend to start getting overworked and unhealthy.
Blaine looked as if he wanted to protest, cheeks warming again as they’d been doing so often recently, hands fidgeting on his lap. But his half-lidded eyes betrayed him, so when Sam gently tucked his arm behind the shorter boy’s neck to pull him against his chest, he fell willingly.
He’d always been sort of tall, but nothing super impressive, not like Finn or that Warbler guy Blaine had a crush on, but compared to who was now curled up against him, Sam felt a weird protectiveness and warmth over holding him close. Yeah, with girls he’d always been bigger, so he’d never really thought about a guy being small and that it would feel kinda the same.
Sam secured one arm around Blaine’s shoulders with a hand placed in his hair, fingers tugging through his curls absentmindedly as the brunet let his arm drape across his waist and their legs sort of fell together. He’d missed this: being so close and so comfortable with Blaine. Even if they didn’t like, full body cuddle in this way too often, even the smallest touches had been missed, so this was like an overdose of Blaine.
His way too expensive cologne engulfed him, combined with that same raspberry hair gel (which was thankfully loosening up a bit), lulling Sam into a softness and security which made his own eyes start to droop. Yeah, he’d promised Blaine he’d wake him up soon, but he couldn’t even help drifting off to sleep with that warm, peaceful body pressed against his, like a weighted blanket that he never wanted to take off.
~4.
It had been two weeks since Blaine’s touch attitude had shifted, and Sam was beginning to lose his mind.
There had been the several isolated incidents, such as the choir room chair scenario and falling asleep in bed, but the mundane, day to day comforts were all but non-existent. And now Blaine was beginning to make less and less eye contact, getting weirder about working out together and had started blushing more often when they spoke. Sam was debating asking if he needed to go to a doctor.
They were hanging out in the locker room with the other glee guys after school, casually lifting weights or stretching out on the mats. Sam had been absentmindedly counting reps with Artie when he noticed Blaine chatting to Jake on the floor, the two of them with their legs out in front of them, backs bent over.
Artie was trying to tell him something about Tina that was probably a bit inappropriate, but Sam could only really focus on the way Blaine had sat up to put his hands on Jake’s thigh, pushing back to help the stretch. It was normal, they all did that stuff all the time, but seeing Blaine’s fingers on the other man’s leg, curling around the muscle, for some reason it made him suddenly very annoyed.
The two of them were just talking normally, Blaine shifting so he was sat between Jake’s thighs now, pushing back on the other leg and extending, hands just all over his body. Before he could even stop himself, Sam stood up and walked over, sitting down next to the two of them and starting his own stretching, feeling himself glare at Jake unconsciously.
“Hey, man, do you think you could help me? My hamstrings have been playing up all day.” And woah, where did that absolute lie come from? He didn’t really want to dwell on that, more interested in not seeing Blaine grip Jake’s thighs anymore, giving the younger guy a quick eyebrow raise which made him sigh and stand up, clearly getting whatever message Sam had sent. He wasn’t really sure.
Blaine stared at him, now with just the two of them on the mats and sat opposite each other, looking at his hands as if cursing them for ever helping in the first place. The last thing Sam ever wanted to do was make his best friend uncomfortable, so he was about to apologise and make up some excuse, before the shorter boy shuffled a bit to be in position.
He was pretty sure his brain short circuited when Blaine started stretching out his leg, pushing it against the strain slightly with reassuring eyes, strong fingers on his thigh. Sam had no idea why it felt like every touch was electric, the bodies close but more purposeful than before, a solidity there that wasn’t like a lot of the softness they often shared.
Blaine’s eyes were boring into his, positioned above him to aid the stretch, the gentle chatter of background conversation dying out as blood pounded in Sam’s ears. Looking up at his best friend, he realised how attractive he really was, curls loose and falling around his head like some sort of halo, golden eyes illuminated by the shitty locker room lighting.
It was hard not to acknowledge how handsome Blaine was - it was a conversation that had been coming up in the glee club ever since Sam’s first year at McKinley when the other boy was still at Dalton - but it suddenly felt as if he was really seeing it for the first time.
The slight grip of Blaine’s fingers jerked him back to reality, a familiar warmth spreading through his body that Sam recognised: a feeling he’d only had with his girlfriends before. He blinked, confused as to why that would be when it was his best friend touching him, but then Sam glanced at the pink, slightly parted lips above him and that warmth intensified, pooling in his stomach slightly, and - oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Sam sat up, Blaine’s hands dropping away from him suddenly.
“You ok?” his best friend asked tentatively, tucking away his arms as if he’d done something wrong - as if Blaine could ever do anything wrong. And yeah, ok, things were making sense now.
He felt himself nod, wiping his palms on his shorts and jumping up, unsure what to do with himself now he’d had this pretty groundbreaking realisation. “Yeah, I just, uh, forgot that I actually had some stuff to do at this place, so like. Yeah.”
Sam offered a quick smile, fully aware that what he’d just said made no sense, and turned to grab his gym bag, not bothering to change or say any proper goodbye, as he was pretty sure any attempt at speaking would backfire heavily on him. Rushing out of the locker room, he felt slightly guilty about leaving Blaine behind, but his head was completely spinning about what to do next.
~+1
It took him a few days to unpack his realisation.
First of all, Blaine was a dude. Obviously.
And Sam had never really thought of himself as much but straight before, but his feelings for Blaine were definitely not just normal platonic feelings, so he could pretty much rule heterosexual out of his self decriptors. Being bisexual was a new thought, but not an unwelcome one, and after a day or two of thinking, looking online, and calling up his mom, Sam realised this was probably something that had been underlying for a while.
Secondly, Blaine was his best friend.
He was straight up the most important person in Sam’s life right now, and there was no way he was going to mess that up. He just couldn’t; losing Blaine would be too hard - but he also didn’t think he could keep all these feelings bottled up so intensely when all he wanted to do was spill them.
Yes, Blaine was gay, but that didn’t automatically mean he was going to be into Sam, that was a harmful stereotype, and he wasn’t about to start his journey into gay feelings by being ignorant . So he was left with a dilemma: whether to say anything or not.
All he knew was that now he really, really wanted to touch Blaine, and he missed the way they used to be around each other.
.
The latest student council meeting had gone as frustratingly as the last one had, most people not seeming to agree or not wanting to listen to Blaine, even though he had clearly superior ideas. Sam tried his best to speak up for him, but these McKinley kids were ruthless and kinda scary, so he wasn’t sure how well he played it off.
He and Blaine were the last two left, stacking chairs away and sorting out the classroom to the way it had been before. It wasn’t awkward - it could never be awkward between them - but Sam couldn’t help but feel there was a somewhat tension in the air as they shuffled tables around, as if something was going unsaid.
They went to move a pile of chairs at the same time, fingers overlapping and almost entwining as hands clasped around plastic, Blaine jumping back at the contact as if it physically hurt him.
And maybe it was just because Sam was more clued in to why he wanted to be touched now, or he’d just had a long, shitty, day, but that small movement cut him a little deeper than it usually would.
“Why don’t you want to touch me?”
It came out as more of an accusation than he’d wanted it to, cutting through the air and betraying the desperation in Sam, catching Blaine like a deer in the headlights. His eyes were almost comically wide, lips parted slightly as he took in the question as if unable to say anything, but looking so painfully beautiful that it made everything so much harder.
“I-I, uh, I don’t kn - know what you mean.” Blaine’s sentence wasn’t fooling anybody, coming out as weak and unsure, a crack to his voice that made him sound younger than he was.
“Dude, don’t lie. You never want to touch me anymore, it’s as if you think I’m like, poisonous or something.” Sam took a few steps closer, trying not to sound as accidentally angry as he had done earlier, more of a resigned frustration in his tone.
The shorter boy cast his head down as Sam approached, finding his boat shoes very interesting all of a sudden. “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I guess.” That was confusing, and not what he expected at all.
“Uncomfortable? How could you ever make me uncomfortable, B?” he asked tentatively, now only a step or two away from each other. Now it was Blaine’s turn to look confused, craning his neck to look up at Sam with that familiar scrunched nose.
“Well, I’m gay, and…”
The sentence was left hanging as if Blaine thought the better of continuing, voice trailing off.
“You know you being gay doesn’t affect our friendship, though -”
“And I like you.”
Sam felt his lips part a bit, heart skipping a few beats and palms feeling clammy. Did he just hear that right?
“I like you, ok, and I started to feel weird about being so tactile with you, in case you thought I was predatory, or creepy, and you were uncomfortable. I never wanted you to feel left out, though.”
If he’d thought his brain short circuited before in the locker room, that was nothing compared to now. Blaine was saying he’d been keeping his distance because he liked him? And that his feelings were actually reciprocated ? The shorter boy looked as if he was about to continue and keep digging a hole so Sam just let his hands reach out and rest on his waist gently, barely any space between them anymore.
“You could never make me uncomfortable, and I’ll never think you’re predatory, ok?” He stared at Blaine’s eyes until he gave a small nod, body still a little frozen. “And, I only got upset because I missed how close we used to be, how we used to touch each other. I realised that I missed it, because I, uh, missed you.”
As he kept going Sam felt a little waver in his voice, suddenly more nervous than he’d ever been, not wanting to fuck up one of the most important things he had ever done. “I like you too, B, and it’s a little confusing, and I’m not too sure what’s really going on, but fuck , all I know is that I’m happiest when I’m with you and all I can think about is kissing you or holding you or stroking your hair and I -”
Lips were pressed against his, cutting off his rambling with the sudden contact, but Sam was not going to complain as he melted into Blaine’s touch, snaking his arms further around his waist until their bodies were flush against one another.
There was a slight texture from a barely there stubble, but kissing Blaine wasn’t different because he was a boy, but because they fit together so perfectly Sam wondered why they hadn’t been attached at the mouth since they first met. He felt an arm wrap around his neck and one fist into his shirt, the back of his legs pressed against a table.
Slowly Blaine pulled back, grazing Sam’s lower lip between his teeth as he did so.
“Uh, was that touch ok?” he asked, peering up through those sinfully long eyelashes that Sam realised had been the subject of several of his confusing dreams recently.
He grinned, raking a hand through the now slightly dishevelled curls at the nape of Blaine’s neck, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of his cheekbone. “I think we’ll have to try again to find out, dude.”
Blaine rolled his eyes and flicked at his bicep, barely managing to control a laugh. “Don’t call me dude when we make out.” He leaned in again, slotting his lips together with the shorter boy’s and gently licking along his lower lip, opening up his mouth as he held him close, thighs between thighs.
“Whatever you say, dude,” he murmured against Blaine’s lips, feeling arms tighten around him in response, finally being touched again.