Archive of Our Own

“Hey, dude!” Stan greeted him as usual, giving Kyle a cheery smile as he walked up to their lockers.

“Morning.” Kyle returned the greeting. He opened his locker and grabbed the AP math textbook he needed today.

“Yesterday, I went on a drive with Wendy,” Stan said, launching into a ramble about Wendy and their date yesterday. Kyle rolled his eyes in front of his locker. Wendy and Stan were together again, having recently gotten back together. This happened often, the two of them breaking up and getting back together, ever since they first got together in elementary school.

Kyle shut his locker door gently, turning back to Stan and his rant about how Wendy looked so pretty on their date. Or something like that. Kyle had been through it all, their on moments and their off moments. But seeing Stan’s voice get so gentle when talking about Wendy and seeing the lovesick look in his eyes made Kyle feel warm inside. Must be nice to fall in love with someone.

Kyle felt an arm reach around his neck and pull him close. A moment of alarm jolted through Kyle before he realized who it was. “Hey, guys.” Kenny’s familiar voice came from Kyle’s right.

“Hi, Kenny.” Kyle felt himself blush a bit from the affectionate gesture. Kenny was always touchy-feely with them, but Kyle never really got used to it.

“Kenny!” Stan said cheerily. Kenny released his hold around Kyle’s neck and Kyle turned to look at him. Kenny looked like he just rolled out of bed with his usual uncombed blonde hair. He was wearing an orange sweater, something he swapped his orange parka for in middle school, and ripped black jeans. His ripped jeans probably weren’t ripped when he first bought them.

“Well, aren’t you fuckin’ cheerful today, Stan?” Kenny teased, moving over to Stan and giving him a clap on the back. “Did you spend last night with Wendy?” He joked. Stan stammered out a no, getting flustered in his response. As the two of them messed around, Kyle felt his eyes looking over at Kenny.

Kenny had grown tall in the past few years, standing just about as tall as Stan. Unfortunately, Kyle wasn’t as lucky. The two teased him mercilessly about the two of them dwarfing him, but Kyle would take that over Cartman’s other types of teasing. If Kyle looked closely, he could see the freckles strung out on Kenny’s pale cheeks.

“Like what you see?” Kenny chirped, catching Kyle staring.

“Just distracted by that bird’s nest you call your hair.” Kyle rolled his eyes again, hoping his embarrassment wasn’t obvious. Kenny feigned hurt with a hand on his chest. The bell rang before any of the three could say anything, much to the relief of Kyle, who dragged both of them to homeroom.

Kyle found his usual spot in the cafeteria with Stan, Kenny, and Butters. He plopped into his spot across from Kenny, unwrapping whatever his mom had packed for him. He had insisted that he could take care of himself and just buy lunch at school, but his mom didn’t relent on that one.

“Hiya everyone!” Butters said, taking his spot next to Kenny. Kyle, Kenny, and Stan had unofficially adopted Butters into their group, seeing as he didn’t have anyone else to hang around. But none of them minded Butters, who was as bubbly as a person could be.

“Hey, Butters,” Kyle said, digging into his lunch. “Are you guys coming over today?” The four of them usually hung out at Kyle’s house every Thursday after school, either playing video games or watching a movie. It became somewhat of a routine.

“Ah, sorry guys, Wendy wants to study with me,” Stan said, looking into the distance dreamily. Kyle looked over to where he was looking. Wendy was eating lunch with her friends, not even looking up at Stan.

“Studying, huh?” Kenny said, waggling his eyebrows. Kyle caught the playful glint in Kenny’s sparkling blue eyes. Stan shook his head profusely. Butters looked up curiously, the joke flying over his head. Butters was as innocent as ever.

“Butters?” Kyle asked.

“Sorry fellas. Cartman wants me to help him with something.” Butters said apologetically. The mention of Cartman’s name made everyone at the table wince. Kyle straightened his back.

“That’s fine, Butters. Don’t get hurt.” Kyle said pointedly, knowing Butters was probably getting wrapped up in whatever plan Cartman was cooking up.

Despite all of them being juniors now, Cartman still managed to come up with ridiculous plans to mess with them. They didn’t hang out with him anymore; in fact, most of them tried to avoid him at all costs. Except for Butters, of course, who still tried his best to help Cartman “get on the right path”. Usually, that just meant Butters being used by Cartman to carry out whatever prank Cartman wanted to play.

“So it’s just you and me, Ky,” Kenny said, fluttering his eyelashes at Kyle.

“What an honor.” Kyle retorted, feeling a twinge of affection at the nickname. Kenny had long eyelashes. Not that he was looking. Not that he should be looking.

“Aww, I can’t wait to spend time with my best friend Kyle,” Kenny said sweetly.

Kyle felt himself redden, but before he could respond, Stan piped in. “Stop being so mushy at the table guys.”

“You’re the one to talk!” Kyle said, looking at Stan incredulously. Kenny and Butters laughed. Kyle glanced over and caught Kenny looking back at him, blue eyes glittering with mischief. Kyle looked away first.

“I’m all comfy, Mr. Broflovski,” Kenny said, buckling himself in the passenger seat. Kyle double-checked his seatbelt and the gas, a habit he picked up from his mom. Kenny must have noticed because he laughed.

“You wouldn’t be laughing if we get wrapped around a fucking pole or something.” Kyle huffed, pulling out of the school parking lot.

“I appreciate you making sure your precious cargo is safe.” Kenny joked. Kyle sighed, driving down to his house. It wasn’t a very long drive, considering how small South Park was.

“So what do you want to do today?” Kyle asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Whatever you want,” Kenny responded with a shrug, looking over at Kyle. It was becoming a little harder to focus on the road with the blonde staring right at him.

“Playing on the Xbox it is then.” Kyle pulled into his driveway. Ike was either at a friend’s house or holed up in his room and neither of his parents would be home until later. They all knew about the boys’ Thursday routine and let them hang out in the living room or Kyle’s room.

The Xbox was currently hooked up in Kyle’s room, so the two of them went there first. Kyle peeked in Ike’s room, finding nobody inside. So it was just Kyle and Kenny in the house. For some reason, the thought made him nervous. Now that Kyle thought about it, Kenny never really came by his house by himself. Stan did sometimes, but that was Stan.

“I’m grabbing some water from downstairs, you want anything?” Kenny asked, plopping his bag in the corner of Kyle’s room. Kyle shook his head and Kenny disappeared downstairs.

Kyle had been noticing Kenny a lot more recently. Was that concerning? They had been really good friends ever since elementary school, they hung out practically every day, shared classes, but they never really seemed to talk to each other. It felt like Kyle was seeing Kenny for the first time, not just as a face at the lunch table.

Kenny returned with a glass of water and Kyle looked at him. Kenny was a bit scrawny, but when he rolled up the sleeves of his signature orange sweater, Kyle could see toned muscles on his forearms from the part-time jobs he had at the mechanic.

“Kyle? You good there, buddy?” Kenny asked with a smile on his face but concern in his eyes. Kyle blinked and pulled himself back to reality.

“Yeah, more gaming, less talking,” Kyle said as he moved over to turn on the Xbox, hoping he sounded upbeat.

Kenny was watching him, blue eyes fixated on him. Kyle could feel it. It was awkwardly silent for a moment as they started up the game. Kyle wanted to curse at himself for making it awkward. They mostly focused on the game, throwing a joke around here or there. It felt normal once they got back into the groove of it as if nothing had happened and Kyle hadn’t made it awkward.

“Have you had enough yet?” Kyle teased, Kenny flopping down on Kyle’s bed.

“Yes, we get it, Kyle, you just can’t help being the fucking best at this game.” Kenny sprawled out dramatically. Kyle sighed, turning off the Xbox and taking a seat on the floor next to his bed.

“Maybe we should get some homework done.” Kyle glanced over the clock. It was still pretty early.

“Fuck that.” Kenny groaned, stuffing his face into Kyle’s pillow.

Kyle felt an urge to stop him from messing up his bed, but his selfish side wrestled it away. “Come on, dude. I’ll help you.”

“How generous of you,” Kenny said in a teasing tone, reluctantly sitting back up. Kyle watched as he ran a hand through his messy blonde hair. He wasn’t expecting Kenny to comply, but this unexpected twist made Kyle beam.

They were in different math classes, but that didn’t stop Kyle from trying to help. “That’s how you do it.” Kyle looked up at Kenny after working out the problem with all the steps. Kenny’s eyes were focused on the paper, brows furrowed. Kyle watched as all the gears in Kenny’s head clicked together and his eyes lit up.

“Thanks, Ky,” Kenny said, returning Kyle’s look with a grin. “You make this so much easier.” Kenny continued, his voice becoming softer and his tone becoming much more genuine. It made Kyle feel warm.

“No worries. You can come over and do math homework anytime. I’d be happy to help.” Kyle said gently. Kenny raised an eyebrow.

“Are we study buddies now?” Kenny batted his long eyelashes, scooting closer to Kyle.

“Jesus, Kenny, not like that!” Kyle yelped, hurrying to clarify. Kenny was so close that it made him a bit nervous. It was ridiculous, there was nothing for him to be nervous about. This was just Kenny. Kenny laughed at Kyle’s flustered expression.

When Kenny left, Kyle sat on his bed. He sighed. Hanging out with Kenny by himself shouldn’t have made him nervous. But Kyle did feel a pang of guilt. He felt like he hadn’t hung out with Kenny in a long time, never fully tried to understand him even after all these years. Stan was his best friend, but Kenny was too.

Kyle felt something starting to tickle in his throat. He leaned back on his bed, stuffing his face in his pillow. He could smell the cheap cologne Kenny wore to school lingering faintly on his pillow. Kyle coughed.

Back at school, neither Kenny nor Kyle mentioned what they did. It wasn’t exactly a forbidden secret, but it was kind of nice to have a thing that they shared. Sometimes Kyle would look over at Kenny and catch the glint in his eyes before they looked away. Stan didn’t say anything if he noticed, which he probably didn’t because he was fawning over Wendy as usual. Butters, ever oblivious, didn’t say anything either.

At lunchtime, they were all sitting at their table when Cartman plopped down in the seat next to Kenny. It happened occasionally, Cartman crashing their table at lunch.

“Cartman.” Kyle started, crossing his arms. Butters looked nervously between the both of them, probably hoping a fight wouldn’t break out. Both Stan and Kenny looked uninterested.

“Kahl.” Cartman drawled out. Even after so many years, he still pronounced Kyle’s name wrong. “It’s my right to sit wherever the fuck I want.”

Kyle’s eyes narrowed at him. Cartman showing up was usually never a good sign, either wanting something from one of them or here to make them miserable.

“What do you want, fatass?” Kyle huffed.

Cartman widened his eyes and tried to look as innocent as possible. “Nothing, Kahl. Stop being so mean to me. I can sit at this table with you guys, right, Butters?”

They both looked over at Butters.

“Uh, don’t fight, fellas.” Butters squeaked. Kyle sighed, conceding today and going back to his lunch. He felt two pairs of eyes on him. One set from Cartman, who seemed to be looking at him closely, as if studying him. Kyle felt grimy just by being watched by Cartman. The other set belonged to Kenny. That made Kyle feel less grimy and warmer.

Kyle coughed again. Stan thumped him on the back with a slightly concerned look. Stupid sandwich.

The next time Kenny came by to study, Kyle was prepared. They started on their math homework first, Kyle helping explain the more difficult problems. They didn’t chat as much. Kenny could be surprisingly focused on his work when he wanted to be. Kyle focused as well, mostly so his mind wouldn’t start wandering where it shouldn’t be.

“I need to pee.” Kenny leaned back with a big and dramatic yawn. Kyle glanced at the clock. They had been working for quite a while now.

“I guess you earned a bathroom break,” Kyle said nonchalantly.

“Wow, gee, thank you Mr. Broflovski!” Kenny said, laughing as he got up and left the room. Kyle sighed. At least this was going quite well. Kyle had resisted the urge to flinch whenever their fingers brushed against each other or their shoulders bumped together.

Kenny returned, taking his seat and flashing Kyle a smile. But when Kyle looked closely, he could see a few droplets of water on the sides of Kenny’s face. Did he wash his face? Was Kyle this boring? Kyle didn’t mention it as they kept working.

“Do you wanna take a break?” Kenny asked, twirling a pen in his fingers. Kyle watched the pen twist around in his hand and nodded. He could feel himself start to lose his concentration. They worked for a long time, they deserved a break.

A few rounds of video games later, they sat on the floor in Kyle’s room. Kyle racked his brains for something to say, but Kenny broke the silence first.

“I have a few more shifts to take on this week. And maybe next week.” Kenny said. Kyle felt a pang of disappointment. He felt more relieved knowing that he would still see Kenny every day at school though. Then he felt guilty for thinking of himself when he remembered Kenny only picked up extra shifts at City Wok when things were getting tight at home.

“Business is booming at City Wok, huh?” Kyle teased. Kenny shrugged, his usual toothy grin coming back.

“Mr. Lu Kim just can’t get enough of his favorite part-timer,” Kenny said, puffing out his chest. “Aww, don’t worry Ky, you’ll still see me at school.” Kenny leaned over, giving Kyle’s red curls a ruffle.

Kyle could feel his face getting almost as red as his hair. He was suddenly feeling very exposed without his usual green ushanka. “Oh fuck off.” Kyle snapped out of embarrassment, Kenny collapsing into giggles. Kyle would never admit it, but he kind of liked it. Kenny’s hand in his hair.

Kyle coughed again. He had been feeling some type of heaviness in his chest lately and a tickle in his throat. “You okay?” Kenny asked, blue eyes widening in concern. Kyle smiled it off, assuring Kenny that he was fine, but the thought of Kenny worrying over him made Kyle feel soft.

He could see Cartman staring at him from down the hallway. Kyle tried to keep himself distracted by putting his books away into his locker, but Cartman was just staring. He had been staring at Kyle the entire week, which creeped him out. The asshole was probably planning something.

“Ky.” Kenny’s arm looped around his shoulder, something that felt so natural. Yet Kyle felt himself getting hot as he glanced at the rough fingers that held onto his shoulder.

“Kenny,” Kyle said stiffly, turning to him. Kenny pulled away, much to Kyle’s dismay.

“Cartman has been watching me like a hawk,” Kyle mumbled, just loud enough so Kenny could hear.

“Oh,” Kenny said. Kyle wasn’t sure but he thought he could hear a twinge of relief in it.

“Don’t worry Ky, I’ll protect you,” Kenny said, giving Kyle a shit-eating grin. For some reason, that stupid smile made Kyle’s insides flutter. He smiled back.

“I don’t need protection,” Kyle said, before immediately regretting his choice of words. Kenny’s grin just got wider.

In the middle of Kenny’s graphic jokes, Kyle’s eyes darted over at Cartman. He was still standing there, still staring. Then he smiled, sending shivers down Kyle’s spine. That smile, that smirk, was sending a message, and the message was that he knew something that Kyle didn’t.

“What are you planning, asshole?” Kyle hissed at Cartman, after finding Cartman hiding in the library at lunch. He was sitting in the corner, typing away at his laptop. Cartman blinked innocently, but Kyle knew Cartman better than that and he knew better than to trust Cartman.

“Nothing, Kahl. Seriously.” Cartman said, voice sounding dangerously sweet. Kyle stared at him in silence for another moment. “Stop worrying, Kahl, your frown lines are getting a lot worse,” Cartman commented, causing Kyle to frown even more.

“Fuck you,” Kyle said, before deciding to leave. The fat fuck wasn’t going to tell him anything, so there was no point to try and get any information out of him. To Kyle’s surprise, Cartman didn’t say anything back, only turning back to his computer and typing away.

Whatever he was planning, it was on that damn computer. Kyle wished he could just steal it, but he would never stoop to that bastard’s level.

Kenny couldn’t go to the boys’ weekly Thursday hangouts because of the extra shifts, but Stan and Butters showed up anyways. Stan had been drunk on Wendy for the past two or three weeks, Kyle couldn’t keep track anymore. Butters was bubbly as always, but hanging around Cartman a bit more lately. That unnerved Kyle a little.

“Gee fellas, what should we do?” Butters said as the three of them sat themselves down on the couch. Stan shrugged.

“Let’s watch a movie or something,” Kyle said, going into the kitchen to grab some snacks and water. He coughed, feeling something building up in his chest. Maybe a cold was coming.

“What d’you guys wanna watch?” Butters asked, rifling through the Broflovski household’s collection of DVDs. Stan picked something at random and the three of them spent the evening watching movies.

During a lull of silence, after they finished their third movie, Stan suddenly spoke up. “Do you think I’m in love with Wendy?” He asked, a serious tone to his voice. Kyle resisted the urge to roll his eyes and make a witty comeback.

“What does bein’ in love mean, Stan?” Butters came to the rescue, asking a simple question with very complicated answers. Kyle blinked. He wasn’t sure if he could even answer that. Stan hummed to himself for a moment.

“Well, I guess it means being all fluttery or gushy around someone.” Stan began. “Like, seeing that person makes you feel warm on the inside. And you probably want them to touch you and hug you and stuff.” Butters nodded in approval.

“You wanna keep them around, don’t want them to go, miss them when they’re gone?” Butters said, patting Stan on the back. “Yeah, exactly,” Stan said, reassured by the fact that someone understood. Butters was good at that kind of thing.

“I feel all those things with Wendy,” Stan said quietly. “Guess I’m in love with Wendy then.” A moment of silence settled between them. Then Kyle started coughing violently. He gasped for air in between heavy coughs, Stan and Butters leaping to their feet to help their friend.

“Kyle!” Butters called out his name in worry, Stan running off to get more water. Kyle grabbed at the coffee table, snatching a tissue, and coughing into it. Stan came back just as Kyle pulled away from the tissue.

“Uh,” Stan began as all three of them stared at Kyle’s tissue. “What is that?” In Kyle’s hands were two thin crumpled flower petals, bright orange.

“Fellas! I’ve got something!” Butters said from the computer. Stan was sitting on the ground, face pale. Sickness and hospitals made him queasy. Kyle laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“What is it, Butters?” Stan managed to say. Kyle sat up, looking over at Butters. Butters turned back to them and started shifting in his seat. That wasn’t a good sign. Anyone who knew Butters knew he was an open book.

“Well, there’s this disease called the, uh, hanahaki disease,” Butters double-checked the word and Kyle grimaced at his butchering of the Japanese pronunciation. “When ya fall in love with someone, you start to grow, uh, flowers in your lungs.” Kyle’s eyes widened in shock and he grabbed at his chest.

“What the fuck?” Kyle shouted, looking down.

“Ya start coughin’ and wheezin’ and the flowers come out. It starts as petals and gets bigger and stuff.” Butters mumbled. Stan moved over next to Kyle, looking at his friend with worry.

Kyle was falling in love? There was only one person who he could be falling in love with, someone who Kyle didn’t even want to think about. This was bad. This was extremely bad. He could not be falling in love, especially not with that person.

“How do we get rid of it?” Stan asked Butters. Butters glanced back at the computer.

“Ya gotta confess your love for that person and hope they love you back.” Kyle looked up. He could not tell that person. This was happening too fast.

“What if you can’t?” Kyle asked, voice trembling with worry. Butters looked down at his lap and fidgeted. Stan put an arm around Kyle.

“If the other person doesn’t reciprocate…. You’ll die.” Butters said the second part quietly, before turning back to the computer.

“Fuck.” Stan said, unable to think of anything else to say. Kyle wanted to cry, but no tears came out. He couldn’t tell him. If he did, he risked their friendship and his own life. Kyle would never allow it.

“You can get surgery to take it out,” Butters said. “But you’ll lose all your memories with that person.” Kyle’s face paled. He would just… completely forget about Kenny. He didn’t want to just lose all his memories with Kenny, but at the same time, the other option was death.

“Who is it?” Stan asked quietly. Butters and Stan looked at him expectantly. Kyle looked down at the floor. If he told them, he would be ruining the friend group’s friendships as well. He didn’t want to say anything, but it would be worse if he didn’t tell them.

“It’s Kenny.” Right as he said that, he coughed again. Stan gave him a comforting pat on the back. Butters gave him a reassuring smile. The two of them took it pretty well.

“We won’t tell him,” Stan said firmly and despite Butters and Stan being the worst people ever at keeping secrets, Kyle trusted them.

Kyle started avoiding Kenny at school. He would find some reason to head to class early, didn’t linger around in the hallways, scarfed down lunch as fast as he could before going to various meetings with teachers. Stan and Butters would give him pitying looks over the lunch table.

When Kenny noticed, he didn’t say anything to Kyle directly. He just stopped showing up at their Thursday meetings and stopped dropping by to their study sessions. At lunchtime, Kenny would stay quiet or just not show up, maybe even skipping school. Kyle felt pangs of guilt whenever he walked past Kenny in the hallways but reassured himself it was the right thing to do.

However, Cartman still lingered around their lunch table. Kyle hadn’t bothered to confront him again, but Cartman always seemed to be around, although the intense staring at Kyle had let up. He seemed calmer lately, mostly observing them than harassing them. Kyle had no idea what he was planning, but this was the longest Kyle had seen Cartman go without doing anything yet.

“Don’t you guys think Cartman is up to something?” Kyle asked Stan and Butters one day when Kenny had disappeared and Cartman made himself scarce. Stan looked up at Kyle in confusion.

“I guess it’s been a while since he last did something,” Stan said, sounding unconvinced.

Kyle turned his attention to Butters, who had been hanging around and tolerating Cartman much more than himself and Stan.

“Cartman’s not up to anything,” Butters said firmly.

“Are you sure?” Kyle pressed. There had to be something that the asshole was doing.

“I’m sure as can be. Don’t worry nothin’ about it, Kyle, he’s not scheming anything.” Butters said, trying to reassure Kyle. Kyle huffed. Butters knew Cartman the best and Kyle trusted Butters.

“How’s your… cough?” Stan asked awkwardly. Butters looked on with worry.

“Well, it hasn’t gotten worse,” Kyle mumbled. He still had the occasional cough whenever Kenny came to mind, but he hadn’t coughed up any more petals. Avoiding Kenny worked to make the frequency of coughing up flowers less frequent.

“I don’t know if this will help,” Butters started. “But Kenny is awful sore when you’re not around. I’ve been hangin’ out with him here and there and the poor guy is drooping like a flower.” Stan glared at Butters, who shrunk away.

“Thanks, Butters,” Kyle said sarcastically. He put his face in his hands. He had slowed down the progression of the disease but at the cost of hurting Kenny. Kyle never wanted to hurt Kenny. He coughed.

Kyle groaned. Stan gave him the same old reassuring pat on the back. Butters fidgeted.

Kyle laid on his bed, as usual, staring at the ceiling as he did when he first found out he had the disease. He did some reading up on it himself. From here, he had a few choices. He could just never tell Kenny, avoid him forever, and make it out okay. He could get surgery and forget all about Kenny. He could tell Kenny, have his heart broken into a million pieces, ruin their friendship, and die. Or he could tell Kenny and he would swoop him up in his arms and they could live together happily ever after.

Kyle turned around on his bed. None of the options were appealing and that last one was stupid. He was still coming to terms with the fact that he had fallen in love with one of his best friends. He still hated the word love. He wasn’t in love with Kenny.

He coughed. Still, Kenny lived in his mind rent-free. Whenever Kyle was spacing out, his mind would drift to Kenny. If Kenny wasn’t in class, he would wonder what he was doing, where he was. Another reason why Kyle kept avoiding him was that he couldn’t risk Kenny being suspicious that Kyle felt some type of way about him.

Kyle knew if he was around Kenny, he would be unable to pull his eyes away from Kenny, with his scruffy blonde hair, playful blue eyes, and a stupid knowing smirk. He wouldn’t be able to stay calm if Kenny put his arm around him, pulled him closer, gave his hair a good tousling.

Kyle hugged his pillow and sighed.

Cartman was staring again. Kyle felt Cartman’s eyes on him before school began, without Kenny to shield his gaze. Kyle coughed. Nothing came out, which was good. Kyle shoved books in his locker and slammed it shut, looking over at Cartman to see he was still watching. Kyle glared back until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey, Kyle.” Kyle wanted to wince at the use of his first name rather than the affectionate nickname. Kenny was standing in front of him, a serious look on his face rather than his usual lazy smile. “Can we talk?” Kenny asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

Kyle felt embarrassment rising in his cheeks. Kenny was never the confrontational type, that was usually Kyle. He wanted to talk to Kenny, but then he felt a familiar tickle in his throat. Kyle’s eyes darted over at Cartman, who was still standing there. Kenny just had to show up today, when Cartman was already getting on his nerves.

“Um,” Kyle said, thinking about the fastest way to get out of here. “Can’t right now.” Kyle coughed, holding himself together and praying it wouldn’t turn into a coughing fit. He gave Kenny a quick wave and strode down the hallway to homeroom, leaving a confused Kenny behind.

“You better tell me what the fuck is up with you right now, asshole.” Kyle hissed, slamming his hands down on the table across from Cartman. Cartman looked up coolly from his laptop, pausing his typing.

“Hello, Kahl.” Cartman sounded composed as always, though Kyle knew better than to trust that fake tone. “What’s the matter?”

“What’s the matter with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kyle could feel his anger bubbling over. “You’ve been staring at me like a creep for the past, like, month. You keep hanging around our table at lunch and fucking watching us. What the fuck are you planning?”

There was a moment of silence as Cartman looked at Kyle, giving him the same analytical once-over.

“You’re fucking doing it-” Kyle began, feeling his voice start to rise before Cartman interrupted.

“Take a seat, Kahl.” Cartman gestured at the chair in front of himself. Kyle took it reluctantly and continued glaring at Cartman. “I’m not doing anything to you. I know, you’re becoming a paranoid freak like Tweek, but I’m not doing anything.” He waved his hands in the air to prove his point.

“Yeah, right.” Kyle snorted. “I don’t believe a single word from your mouth.” Kyle’s eyes narrowed at Cartman’s computer, which Kyle had seen him type on many times. “What’s on that fucking computer?”

“That’s personal, Kahl,” Cartman began before Kyle snatched his computer and turned the screen. “Hey! Kahl!”

“Kyle gasped, feeling a wave of heat pooling in his cheeks.” Kyle started to read the page Cartman was typing on and his nose crinkled in confusion. “Kenny leaned in and kissed- Cartman, what the fuck?” Kyle re-read the line. The words on the page were unmistakably about him and Kenny.

“Kahl, get your dirty Jew hands off my computer!” Cartman said loudly, grabbing the laptop back from him. Kyle blinked in disbelief and slunk into the chair opposite of Cartman.

“What the fuck is this?” Kyle wasn’t sure if he was more mad or confused. He decided to go with confusion for now. He can be angry later.

“Kahl,” Cartman started, before sighing. “Alright, it’s some stuff I wrote about you and Kinny.” The two of them stared at each other for a moment. Cartman’s ability to function without any shame was alarming, yet impressive.

“Why?” Kyle demanded, slight anger rising in his voice. Him? And Kenny? Why the two of them specifically? This must have been done for some sort of purpose. To sell? To blackmail him? To publicly embarrass Kyle?

“I wanted to,” Cartman said blankly. “Look, Kahl, I can have hobbies and one of them happens to be writing. Don’t worry, it’s not going anywhere, I’m too shy to post these things.” Cartman said, going back to his computer as if this was a normal conversation.

“What about Butters? What kind of plan were you dragging Butters into?” Kyle asked, his resolve fading away. Cartman was already about to go back to typing, getting comfortable in his chair.

“He’s my beta reader,” Cartman glanced up as if Kyle had interrupted him. “My editor. He’s been a great help with these.” Kyle leaned back in his chair. He wouldn’t put it past Cartman to do something as insane and weird as this, but he was so convinced that there was some sort of evil reasoning behind doing this.

“This is still creepy, don’t get me wrong,” Kyle said, scratching his head. “But you’re not planning anything super fucked up and evil?” Cartman looked back up at the redhead in front of him, a disinterested look on his face.

“No. For the last time, Kahl, I’m not up to anything.” Cartman sighed. “I’ve noticed you two have been pretty distant lately. I don’t know what kind of angsty lovers’ quarrel you’re having, but I think it’s time for you two to patch it up.” Cartman looked back at his laptop and started to type.

“I can’t!” Kyle spat out. “I’ve already lost him as a friend. I’ve hurt him so much.” He was sure he would regret those words, sure that Cartman would get up and laugh at how Kyle fell into his trap.

“You haven’t. If you apologized or just talked to him, he’ll take you back on the spot. You two will be back to doing gay shit in no time.” Cartman said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Seriously.” Kyle couldn’t believe he was talking to Cartman, of all people, about this.

“Fuck you, fatass.” Kyle got up, pushing his chair back with more force than necessary.

“Just talk to him. You know I’m right, Kahl.” Cartman said, always getting the last word in.

“You should come to the party this Saturday. It’s at Bebe’s house.” Stan said at lunch, looking over at Kyle. Butters and Cartman were huddled up in the library, though both of them were unlikely to show up even if invited. God knows where Kenny was.

Kyle shook his head. It wasn’t really that he couldn’t, he just didn’t want to bother. Bebe’s parties that everyone went to usually just ended with drunk people all over the place and bumping into you with their gross alcoholic breaths.

“Dude,” Stan whined. “It’s gonna be fun. Everyone’s going.” He gave Kyle a pout. Kyle wanted to cringe.

“Fine.” Kyle sighed. “I’ll be designated driver again.” That was Kyle’s main job at parties.

“No, I want you to enjoy the party. I’ll be designated driver.” Stan said confidently. Kyle wanted to laugh, but Stan’s expression was genuine. “Seriously, dude, I want you to just have a good time.”

“Okay,” Kyle said quietly. He hated it when people looked at him like this, with pity. But he knows Stan as well as he knows the back of his hand and that was real concern on his face.

Kyle groaned as he got out of Stan’s car. He smoothed out the green alien shirt he had on and tried to tame his curls a bit more. Stan parked the car nearly a block away from Bebe’s house as everyone in the grade decided to show up.

“Let’s go,” Stan said cheerily, dragging Kyle along. Now that Kyle was here, he wanted to leave. They could hear the music from a few feet away. Bebe was probably going to get a noise complaint from this.

They opened the door to the house and there were people everywhere. How big was Bebe’s house? Kyle wondered to himself as Stan spotted Wendy and Bebe and pulled him over there.

“Hey, Wendy! Hi Bebe.” Stan said, using two very different tones. The girls giggled. They all greeted each other and made some small talk before Bebe went off to get drinks for them from the kitchen.

“Maybe you should talk to Bebe,” Stan said, trying to sound nonchalant. Wendy chuckled as Kyle rolled his eyes from Stan’s pathetic matchmaking attempt.

“No,” Kyle said, just as Bebe returned with two solo cups. Kyle took it and looked inside to find a dark liquid. “What’s this?” He didn’t direct the question to anyone in particular.

“Just drink it, Kyle. Loosen up.” Bebe said, clearly having had a few drinks already. She moved closer to Kyle, swinging a lazy arm around his neck. Kyle stiffened. Only Kenny did that.

“Thanks,” Kyle said stiffly, gently prying Bebe’s arm off of him. She was very pretty, but Kyle had enough blondes. She pouted and walked off into the crowd of people. Kyle took a few large sips of the drink and winced at the taste of alcohol.

“Not much of a drinker, huh,” Wendy said, giving him a soft smile. Kyle shrugged, taking a few more sips. He wasn’t even sure why he was here, but if there was free alcohol, Kyle should probably take advantage of it. Wendy looked at him with amusement. They never really interacted much, due to the on and off nature of her and Stan’s relationship, unless Stan was around.

“You want more?” Stan asked, mischief creeping upon his face. Kyle drank the rest of the cup, feeling himself starting to get warm. He handed Stan the cup without another word.

Stan pushed his way through the party to get to the kitchen. Kyle listened to the chatter and music of the crowd for a moment. Stan returned quickly with more of whatever Kyle had before.

The three of them made some light conversation before Kyle decided it would be good to get some air and wander into the backyard. There were a handful of people mingling in the backyard, like Craig and his friends. Kyle took a long sip from his cup. There was a bored-looking Craig, Tweek by his side, Token, Jimmy, and Clyde. They seemed to be having a nice conversation, so Kyle finished the rest of his drink, took in some of the fresh air, and went back inside.

He was starting to feel quite warm and his head was pulsing pleasantly. Kyle wanted a laugh, but Stan and Wendy weren’t where he last saw them. He squeezed his way into the kitchen, where Bebe and some of the girls were mixing up drinks. They offered one to Kyle, who gave it a try. It tasted pleasant, so he downed the whole thing.

He made up some excuse to pee and wandered around Bebe’s house a little bit to try and find Stan. Kyle’s steps were starting to wobble a little. He looked around in the heat of the crowd but there was nothing.

Kyle felt like he was suffocating in the crowd, so he stumbled his way back towards the backyard. Before he went out, he could see a new figure standing with Craig’s crowd. It was Kenny. Kyle felt his legs wobble.

It was Kenny in his typical orange sweater, a beer in hand as he talked. Kyle looked more closely. He was talking to Clyde in particular and standing a bit further away from the group. More than talking. Kyle could see Kenny lean in close, whispering, laughing, a slight flush on his freckled cheeks.

Anger was starting to bubble within Kyle. He sauntered back into the kitchen, downing whatever drinks he could find. The girls chattered amongst themselves, handing him whatever they had mixed. It was good enough for Kyle. Anything to make the twinge of pain and heaviness in his chest goes away. Kyle coughed.

He doesn’t remember how, but he ends up at the back door leading out to the backyard again. Kyle can see Kenny and Clyde still talking closely, giggling away at something. Kyle stewed in his anger for another moment, until he saw Kenny’s fingers land on the side of Clyde’s jaw and that stupid smirk Kenny always had on.

“Hey, Kyle,” He could hear Stan’s voice distantly as if he was shouting at Kyle while Kyle was at the bottom of a pool. Kyle clenched his fist. opening the back door and walking out into the crisp cool air outdoors, leaving Stan behind.

He walked over, trying not to stumble, right at Kenny. Both Kenny and Clyde could see him coming. Clyde blanched at Kyle for some reason and squirreled away before things could get ugly. Kenny’s smirk disappeared. He raised an eyebrow at Kyle.

“Kenny,” Kyle said angrily. He hadn’t planned on what to say once he got here. Kenny sighed. Kyle took a big sip of whatever from the cup in his hand.

“Kyle. Are you okay?” Kenny said, his tone sounding concerned. Kyle stared at Kenny, taking in the usually crumpled messiness on his head, the furrow in his brows and his big blue fucking eyes, looking at him with slight worry.

“No. You’re stupid, Kenny,” Kyle mumbled, knowing Kenny could hear. He could feel his head starting to pulse and a tickle in his throat.

“Kyle. We’re not getting into this right now.” Kenny said firmly, placing a hand gently on Kyle’s shoulder. It made Kyle’s insides do flips and Kyle hated that. Kyle shrugged the hand off angrily.

“Don’t touch me, motherfucker.” Kyle pushed against Kenny feebly and found himself wobbling. “Fuck you.” Kenny crossed his arms.

“Kyle, I know you’re drunk, just go home.” Kenny sighed, sounding like sober Kyle. He sounded a bit annoyed at Kyle, which was dumb because Kyle should be the annoyed one. Kenny was the one ruining his life by making Kyle fall in love with him.

“I fucking hate you!” Kyle grumbled, irritation in his voice. There was a flash of something in Kenny’s eyes, but it whizzed past too quickly for Kyle to identify it. Kenny’s eyebrows furrowed together again. Kyle felt his chest get tight.

“First of all, you don’t. Second of all, you’re the one who started to hide away from me and run away whenever you saw me. That hurt, honestly.” Kenny muttered to himself, but Kyle caught all of it. “I don’t even know why you’re avoiding me. It’s usually because I fuck up and do something stupid, but I don’t even know what I fucking did. Butters and Stan are also acting off around me. At first, I gave you your space, but when I finally sacrificed my pride and asked you to talk, you ran away.”

Kyle stared at Kenny. He had never heard Kenny talk so much in one go, much less in a serious way. Kyle looked at Kenny’s long eyelashes instead.

“We need to talk about whatever is bothering you, Kyle. I usually won’t do this, but you won’t do it and I still want to be your friend. Unlike you, I wouldn’t throw away years of friendship.” Kenny said, a serious tone. Kyle was starting to hate how serious everyone was being recently, with Stan, Butters, and now Kenny. But when Kenny got serious, it was kind of nice. Kenny with a slight frown, angry eyebrows, cold eyes… That was kind of hot.

Kyle wobbled, a sudden heaviness throwing him off balance. Kenny reached out towards him out of instinct, but Kyle found his balance quickly.

“Maybe we’ll talk when you’re sober,” Kenny said, expression still serious but a playful sparkle in his eyes remained. Kyle groaned, but he kind of liked it. Playful Kenny was the best kind of Kenny.

“No, sober Kyle wouldn’t want to. He’s a pussy and he hates you.” Kyle said, knowing that was more or less true. Kenny was watching him with a teasing look. He licked his lips, as if he was going to make a joke, then didn’t. Kenny looked perfect, half basked in the glow of the house and half-lit by the moonlight. Very, very, very drunk Kyle wanted to kiss him.

“I really want to-” Kyle coughed. Oh no, this was the worst time. He launched into a coughing fit, quietly praying to himself that nothing will come up, puke or otherwise.

“Shit, Kyle, are you okay?” Kenny’s voice was concerned, too tender for Kyle. He put a hand on Kyle’s back gently. Kyle could feel a petal in his throat. He coughed harder and crouched on the ground.

“Get Stan.” Kyle managed to spit out in between coughs. Kenny hurried away and once he was gone, Kyle coughed as hard as he could and pulled two orange petals from his throat and shoved them in his jean pocket.

“Jesus Christ,” Stan mumbled to himself, standing above Kyle with Kenny by his side. “Alright buddy, let’s take you home.” Kyle coughed again.

Stan started to drag Kyle away when Kenny’s eyes met Kyle’s. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come too? In case Kyle throws up in your car?” Kenny asked Stan, who shook his head profusely and pulled Kyle away.

Kenny looked worried, so Kyle stuck his tongue out at him. Kenny’s expression softened immediately, settling into a lazy smile. Everything after that was foggy.

“Oh, God.” Kyle blinked himself awake, finding himself in yesterday’s clothes and at Stan’s house. It was daytime, but Kyle felt his head get extremely light. He groaned as pain settled in.

“Hey, dude,” Stan said, offering Kyle a cup of water. Kyle took it gratefully and took a few sips, before feeling choked up. His chest got tight and heavy again in the wrong way and Kyle ran to the bathroom.

He managed to get all the puke in the toilet bowl, which was good. Kyle leaned back. He could see a handful of marigold petals. Kyle groaned again. Even now, the heaviness in his chest lingered.

“Dude, you okay?” Stan asked loudly from the other side of the door. Kyle knew Stan got queasy from puke and other bodily fluids.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Kyle flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth with lots of mouthwash that probably belonged to Stan’s dad. He opened the door to find a pale Stan holding his glass of water. “I’m okay, dude,” Kyle said, as he drank most of the cup.

“Let’s go get breakfast then,” Stan said, motioning to the stairs. Kyle blinked, trying to ignore his massive headache and followed.

“So how was it?” Stan said, teasingly. “Kyle’s night out.” Kyle rolled his eyes and continued eating the toast that Stan’s mom made. She was surprisingly cool with the two coming in and out at all hours of the night.

“It was fine. You disappeared when I needed you most.” Kyle looked over at Stan, who was starting to get embarrassed. Kyle could more or less guess what happened to Stan between Kyle first walking out and being found later.

“I was, uh, hanging out with Wendy. Talking privately.” Stan said, eyes darting away. Kyle smirked, biting his toast. Well, he couldn’t blame Stan for going for it. “Well, what about you? Do you remember talking to Kenny?” Stan said the last part more softly.

“Oh, shit.” Kyle closed his eyes, remembering their conversation from yesterday. “Fuck. Why did I say that?” Stan watched him sympathetically.

Kyle reached into his jean pocket, finding the two petals he had stuffed there. He held them in his fingers, contemplating. He felt so bad about hurting Kenny, hurting one of his closest friends. He felt so guilty that maybe he should have a conversation with Kenny. But at the same time, he was a coward and he was stubborn.

“I should really talk to him. Sober.” Kyle said. Stan nodded for him to go on. “But I’m too scared. I want everything to go back to normal.” Kyle complained.

“You have to talk to him, I think he really needs that. You really need that.” Stan said quietly. “I haven’t been pushing you to do it because I know your… condition… would get worse. But I really want you to sort this out for good, you know you can’t run forever.” Stan fidgeted in his seat.

Kyle knew that was the right thing to do, but he was terrified. What if he talked to Kenny and he spilled the beans on his massive crush on him? What if he ruined the friendship that they’ve had for years? What if Kenny says the heartbreaking words, “I only see you as a friend,” and Kyle’s heart breaks into a million pieces when he sees Kenny kiss someone else?

Kyle felt the familiar tickle in his throat. He went into a coughing fit, Stan fretting around him, trying to see how he could help. This wasn’t a single petal, or even two. It felt like a whole clump.

Kyle could feel himself choking, eyes swelling up with tears from the pain. “Fuck!” Stan said, thumping Kyle on the back. On the third thump, Kyle managed to cough up the clump of petals that was stuck in his throat.

“Holy shit, dude.” Stan could only look for a second before looking away. Kyle didn’t say anything, only staring at the full and round marigold in his hands, covered half in blood and half in an ungodly mix of Kyle’s bodily fluids. Still, Kyle could see its orange brilliance peek out from underneath.

Marigolds. Bright and sunny signifiers of freshness and beauty. The bold orange inspired passion and courage as if challenging Kyle to a battle.

Of course Kenny was a marigold. Flashy, orange, and difficult to get out of Kyle’s system.

“Hey, Kyle,” Kenny said quietly from behind Kyle at his locker. Kyle could sense Kenny’s hesitation and stiffness and Kyle couldn’t blame him. Kyle turned around to face him.

“Hey yourself,” Kyle mumbled. Kenny’s worried expression turned into a more casual one after Kyle responded positively. Responding positively meaning he didn’t run away.

“You feeling okay? You got pretty shitfaced the last time I saw you.” Kenny teased, but the undertone of concern was pretty obvious. Still, Kenny’s signature sly smirk returned, much to Kyle’s embarrassment.

“Never been better.” Kyle snorted. He could feel a sinking feeling in his chest just from being in Kenny’s vicinity, but he tried his best to ignore the dread and the flowers.

“You… remember everything right?” Kenny said, trying to gauge Kyle’s expression. Kyle nodded, trying to avoid Kenny’s searching blue eyes. “Do you remember you wagging your tongue at me when you were dragged away by Stan?” Kyle blushed hard.

“Okay firstly, I was not wagging my tongue, I just stuck it out. Yes, I remember everything.” Kyle rolled his eyes, trying to hide his embarrassment. Unfortunately, Kenny had already caught on.

“Ah, of course, our classy Mr. Broflovski would never do something as uncouth as wagging one's tongue,” Kenny said, sticking his chin out in some sort of impression as a posh person. Kyle snorted. “We’ll talk soon then.” To Kyle’s relief, Kenny walked away first, seemingly a lot cheerier.

Kyle ran to the bathroom, where he could cough in privacy. He hacked up half of another marigold. This stupid disease still lingered in the back of his mind. His only choices at this point are to get the surgery and forget about Kenny, or confess his love and possibly die.

He looked into the bathroom mirror. Kyle could never forget about Kenny. They’ve been friends for over 10 years. How could he wipe away 10 years of memories like that? Even if he did do the surgery, Kenny would notice the difference between Kyle, his best friend, and Kyle, who didn’t know who he was. Plus, Kyle wanted to be selfish. He wanted to remember every memory he shared with Kenny. He wanted to remember the way Kenny’s arm fit around his shoulders, the way he said “Ky,” the way his blue eyes would sparkle.

Kyle splashed some water in his face before he could get another coughing fit. His choice was made for him then. He had to tell Kenny and hope for the best. No more running away. “No more running away,” Kyle mumbled to himself out loud.

“Good choice, Kahl.” Cartman’s annoying voice rang out in the bathroom. Kyle glared at Cartman, who appeared next to him.

“What the fuck, Cartman?” Kyle asked, not expecting any serious answers.

“I saw that you and Kinny made up. So, good job.” Cartman said, before shuffling off to a stall. Kyle rolled his eyes and left the room before Cartman could stink it up.

“I’m going to tell him when I get the chance,” Kyle said to Butters and Stan, who he pulled away from the lunch table. Stan and Butters both looked surprised but happy. They gave him plenty of encouragement, with Stan offering some of the liquid variety. But as they tried to figure out what exactly Kyle should say, Stan’s expression turned sour.

“I know I shouldn’t be a downer, but you’re my best friend, Kyle,” Stan started. “What if… What if you tell him and he doesn’t… reciprocate?” Kyle bit his lip and looked at the ground.

“Well, in that case, I’ll have to get the surgery. Otherwise, I’ll literally die, right?” Kyle sighed. He didn’t want to think about it, but he realized that if it ended badly, he would just have to get the surgery.

“Somethin’ tells me everythin’ will go just fine, Kyle,” Butters said cheerily, patting Kyle on the shoulder. Kyle gave Butters a tired smile, but he could see Butters genuinely meant it. Usually, he would roll his eyes and laugh at Butters’ naivete, but Kyle swallowed his doubts and put his faith in Butters.

After school, Kyle made his way to his car when he found a surprise next to it. Kenny McCormick. Well, guess they were doing this today.

“Hey. Just making sure you couldn’t run off again like a raccoon or something.” Kenny said, his tone half-joking, half-serious. Kyle laughed dryly, cheeks reddening from embarrassment. He unlocked the car and both of them hopped in.

“My place, right?” Kyle asked, though he already knew that yes, they were going to his house. He coughed, trying to suppress anything that might come up.

“As long as you don’t mind,” Kenny said, eyes drifting over to Kyle. Their eyes met for a moment before Kyle focused on the road. Kenny’s blue eyes stayed focused on Kyle though.

They walked up to Kyle’s room, dropping their bags in the corner. Kenny stood around, unsure of where to sit or stand. Kyle looked at the ground. He wouldn’t have believed that Kenny used to do things like flop on his bed and touch all his things.

Kyle sat on his bed as Kenny looked at some of the things in his room, walking up to his desk. “I remember this one,” Kenny said fondly, picking up a framed picture of him, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman.

“Yeah. Me too.” Kyle responded. It was their first day of second grade. Third grade, maybe? His mom snapped a picture of the four of them when they came to Kyle’s house after school. Kyle remembered that Kenny had taught Kyle how to say fuck for the first time that day, once everyone else had left.

“Fuck.” Kyle said out loud, Kenny looking over at him with a knowing smirk.

“If you want me to.” Kenny teased, but it was enough for Kyle to go bright red, like his hair. “I’m joking, you fucking tomato.”

“Shut up, asshole.” Kyle retorted, trying to force his cheeks back to normal. Kenny pulled up the chair from Kyle’s desk and sat across from Kyle.

“Let’s do the opposite of shut up and talk,” Kenny said sweetly, a cheeky smile on his face. Kyle looked away and coughed.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?” Kyle said, wiping at his mouth even when there was nothing there.

“How forward of you, Ky!” Kenny fanned himself and winked before his tone got a bit more serious. “Why are you avoiding me?” Kenny’s eyes searched his face and Kyle never felt so vulnerable.

“I’m sorry. I had reasons to.” Kyle mumbled. Kenny raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I really didn’t want to.” Kyle felt choked up and not just figuratively. He could feel his throat getting tighter.

“I know, otherwise you wouldn’t have talked to me at Bebe’s,” Kenny said, a gentle smile. Kyle wanted to hide his face or shut his eyes, so he wouldn’t have to look at Kenny. He didn’t know if he had the strength to say what he needed to when Kenny’s eyes were looking right at him, seeing through his soul.

Kyle coughed. He could feel a massive lump in his throat that he couldn’t ignore. He launched into a coughing fit, getting up and running to the bathroom. Kyle felt tears as he coughed, heaving as hard as he could.

“Ky, what’s wrong?” He could hear Kenny’s voice in the background, fading away as Kyle gurgled on the flower petals. He felt Kenny come up to him and thump him on the back several times until Kyle spat out a full marigold into the sink.

“Are you feeling better yet?” Kenny asked, rubbing Kyle’s back gently. Kyle coughed a few more times and wiped his mouth and tears. He glanced in the mirror to see his face was red from the effort. Kyle sighed, his throat sore from the coughing.

“I’m fine. Just need water.” Kyle managed to croak out. Kenny left the bathroom and it took everything in Kyle to hold it together. Kyle stared at the marigold flower in his sink, a bright orange splattered with blood. It looked like he was going to have to come clean about everything to Kenny.

“Here’s your water,” Kenny said softly, handing Kyle the water. Kyle could taste the blood in his mouth as he drank in the water, but it helped. “What is that?” Kenny said, looking at the flower in the sink. He didn’t sound grossed out, because hardly anything grossed out Kenny McCormick, but he sounded surprised.

“It’s a long story,” Kyle whispered, throat too sore to speak at his normal volume. He picked up the flower and threw it in the trash before washing everything. Kenny watched him in silence.

They went back into Kyle’s room, Kenny sitting on the chair across from Kyle on his bed. The silence was unbearable, but Kenny broke it first.

“We don’t have to talk today, you should rest if you’re not feeling well,” Kenny spoke softly as if he was talking to an animal or his younger sister. Kyle’s heart fluttered at the tenderness of his voice. “I’ll still be around tomorrow,” Kenny said that last part with a twinge of his usual playfulness.

“No,” Kyle said carefully. “We have to talk today.” Kyle spoke lightly, half because he didn’t want to aggravate his painful throat, half because he didn’t want this to get ugly.

“I’m sick,” Kyle said, Kenny’s expression twisting into one of concern. “It’s this illness called Hanahaki disease, which makes you start throwing up flowers.”

“Hanahaki?” Kenny said, sounding out each syllable in a poor imitation of Kyle’s pronunciation. “How did it start?” Kyle shifted in his seat and glanced away. This was the really uncomfortable part.

“Well, it starts when the person starts falling in love with someone and their feelings aren’t returned. It gets worse when the person starts falling deeper in love.” Kyle looked back up. Kenny cocked his head to the side. “If the other person doesn’t return their love, the sick person will either suffocate to death on flowers or have to do surgery at the cost of losing memories of their loved one.”

Kyle took a deep breath. He watched as Kenny processed what Kyle said. To Kyle’s confusion, Kenny’s serious expression turned into a sad one. A flash of hurt crossed Kenny’s face.

“Who are you in love with?” Kenny said, bright blue eyes blinking at him. Kyle felt his face go red. Did Kenny really not know who Kyle was talking about? Kyle clenched his fists and stood up.

“Do I have to fucking spell it out for you?” Kyle stammered, looking down at Kenny. Kenny’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Kenny has to be making fun of him right now. It was too embarrassing to say out loud. Kyle looked away and bit his lip, unable to bear Kenny’s gaze on him.

“Is it me?” Kenny stood up, facing Kyle and putting his hands on Kyle’s shoulders. Kyle nearly jumped from the touch and looked up to see Kenny’s expression completely serious. Kenny’s eyes didn’t betray any emotions. Kyle’s eyes darted away, his face impossibly warm. He wanted to sink into the ground right about now.

Kenny’s hands moved upwards, finding their place on both sides of Kyle’s jaw. Kenny moved his hands slightly, forcing Kyle to look right at him. “Ky, come on. Stop running. Stop hiding.” Kenny whispered firmly. Their eyes locked onto each other for an impossibly long moment, blue boring into the green.

“Yes.” Kyle managed to mumble out before Kenny leaned in and pressed their lips together. Kyle’s mind went blank. He let instinct take over him as he leaned into the kiss, letting his eyes fall shut, letting Kenny’s hands find their way into his red curls. Every breath Kyle took was Kenny, Kenny’s lips, Kenny’s soft breaths, Kenny’s cheap cologne. He felt his knees wobble.

When they finally separated, Kyle wanted to collapse. Kenny pulled his hands away and wrapped his arms around Kyle instead, pulling him close to his chest. Kyle’s mind was a million miles away, drifting in outer space. He felt like he was floating on some euphoric high.

“I don’t know why you’re sick when one of the conditions for getting sick is the other person not loving you back,” Kenny muttered softly, burying his face into Kyle’s neck. “You scared me shitless, Ky.” Kyle wanted to melt.

“Fuck.” Kyle managed to say before everything went dark.

Kyle breathed. For the first time, he felt like he could breathe normally. Then he opened his eyes to find himself tucked into his bed. Then he remembered all the events that preceded his nap. Kyle’s eyes widened and he sat up.

“Hey, beautiful.” Kyle whipped his head to the side and found Kenny staring at him from a chair next to the bed, the usual lazy grin on his face. Kyle groaned, feeling his face reddening from embarrassment.

“Kenny.” Kyle was about to complain, but Kenny gave him a pout. When Kyle looked closely, he could see something different in Kenny’s eyes. A new softness directed at Kyle that made Kyle want to kiss him.

“Ky,” Kenny whined. “You made me so worried.” Kenny’s hand reached out, going for the familiar hair ruffle. It made Kyle feel warm.

“What else was I supposed to do?” Kyle huffed. “Avoiding you was the only way the disease stopped getting worse. It wasn’t like I wanted to.”

“Aw, I know I’m irresistible, Ky.” Kenny fluttered his eyelashes again. “But you were going to tell me anyway, right? So why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“It’s embarrassing!” Kyle exclaimed. “I couldn’t risk our friendship like that. If you felt the same way, why didn’t you say something?” Kyle redirected the question at him and to his surprise, Kenny started blushing.

“I was working up to it, okay? I wasn’t sure how you felt because you started fucking avoiding me.” Kenny said, giving Kyle another pout. “But I knew you didn’t hate me because you did this.” Kenny demonstrated by sticking his tongue out at Kyle.

“I was drunk!” Kyle protested, feeling embarrassment rise in his cheeks again. Kenny reverted to his shit-eating grin. Kyle wondered if Kenny did this stuff to rile him up on purpose. No, Kenny definitely did this stuff to mess with him. “But you were flirting with Clyde at the party,” Kyle mumbled.

“Is it possible that our little Kyle is jealous?” Kenny said, reveling in Kyle’s mortified expression. “I was giving Clyde some pointers on how to flirt with Bebe.” Kyle felt a twinge of guilt for rejecting Bebe’s advances, but at least that would get him on Clyde’s good side.

“Oh,” Kyle mumbled to himself, feeling self-conscious about how he just admitted he was jealous. Now Kenny was never going to let it go.

“Aww, don’t be ashamed, Ky.” Kenny leaned dangerously close. Kyle’s breath hitched in his throat, not because of flower petals this time. “It’s nice to see you feel what I feel when you stand a little too close to Stan,” Kenny said that last part in a low voice, eyes darkening with other intentions.

“Stan is the straightest guy we know.” Kyle rolled his eyes. Then Kenny leaned in and kissed him again, a kiss that meant “you’re mine from now on.” Kyle smiled into the kiss. He could get used to this.

“See, I knew it would turn out right as rain. You two are just two peas in a pod together.” Butters said, a knowing smile on his face. The whole group sat together at their usual lunch table, Cartman included, except now Kenny sat next to Kyle.

“I’m more relieved about the part where Kyle didn’t have to get a surgery done or die,” Stan said. But Kyle could see the goofy smile that Stan had. Stan had always been a hopeless romantic.

“Me too! I was concerned when Kyle passed out for two hours, but I felt a lot better when I could hear him mumbling out my name in his sleep.” Kenny said, flashing Kyle his signature toothy grin. Kyle sighed, sinking into the embarrassment. Stan and Butters giggled.

Kyle’s eyes flickered over to Cartman, who was staring directly at him. Kyle frowned, about to start yelling, when the corners of Cartman’s mouth turned upwards and he gave him a wink. Kyle rolled his eyes.

Under the table, Kenny’s hand reached over to Kyle’s. Their fingers interlocked and Kyle smiled to himself.

A week later, Kenny showed up at Kyle's house for a study session with a surprise. Said surprise was a bouquet of bright orange marigolds, unsullied by Kyle’s blood or other bodily fluids. As much as Kyle wanted to throw up at the sight of them, he smiled himself silly and took them anyways, pulling Kenny in for a kiss.