Chapter Text
Something felt off, but it was probably nothing. Probably just the anticipation of what was to come and having to ensure that his Ryou impression would be spot-on. His timing would be perfect, since Marik had gone into the stadium just a few minutes before. All he had to do was act natural.
When he came in, Marik was standing close by Yugi and his friends, seeming to have put on his Namu persona and was chatting with them. That girl Mai Valentine was there too, while Seto Kaiba stood off to one side with his little brother next to him, and two men in suits.
Bakura kept his head low, walking slowly, and prepping himself for when he would inevitably be spotted. He had nothing to worry about. So far so good, he just had to keep it along.
“Hey, it's the other sexually ambiguous character!” Téa suddenly announced upon seeing him enter.
Admittedly, Bakura was caught off guard by such a statement. Let alone from Téa. What was that about? He shrugged it off, figuring they'd decided to goof around like the fools they were. Even if describing him as a sexually ambiguous character was weird and confusing. But he didn't dwell on that, he didn't have time to.
Yugi spoke up next, “Bakura, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the hospital!”
“I'm fine.” Bakura as Ryou assured. He threw in a soft chuckle for good measure. “After all, I'm here, aren't I? I've managed to win six locator cards and enter the finals! See?” He smiled and held up the six locator cards as proof.
“Over the top anime reaction!” Yugi and his friends all exclaimed in perfect unison as they stared at him in absolute shock at his explanation.
What was that supposed to mean? Bakura had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep him from asking what was up with them, managing to maintain his Ryou smile. This was definitely weird. Yugi and his friends never managed to catch him off guard before, but this was something else. Why were they acting so, odd?
“I can't believe we're expected to believe all this!” Téa exclaimed.
Bakura tensed slightly, but repressed the urge to move. Did they honestly just figure him out? How did that happen? His impression was perfect! Sure, his explanation surely warranted a shocked reaction, but what was up with this?
“Um...” Bakura as Ryou tried to say to fill in the silence.
“And yet apparently we do! God, we're stupid!” Yugi proclaimed with a frown.
'No argument there.' Bakura thought snidely and had to repress the urge to laugh, let alone respond.
It was still unsettling, though. Why were they openly admitting that they didn't believe his story and yet were perfectly gullible? It made no sense. Something had to be going on. Did they know something he didn't? Did they somehow catch on that this wasn't their friend Ryou talking to them? Bakura tensed slightly, trying not to appear nervous, but this was getting really weird. In a very unsettling way.
Marik was standing several feet away, watching the proceedings, and was clearly trying not to laugh. If Bakura didn't have Yugi and his friends watching him, he would've glared. Why was he laughing? This was ridiculous. What if Yugi or his friends turned around and saw him?
Yugi went on, still sounding annoyed. “This must be what it feels like to be Tristan!”
“Zach and Cody are my imaginary friends!” Tristan chirped.
What the hell? His voice was drastically different and didn't sound like anything Tristan would say at all. Bakura frowned slightly, but no one called him out on it.
What was their game? Why were they acting so strange? He didn't get nervous very often, but this was definitely one of those rare moments. Were they waiting for him to just openly declare that they were all idiots and that he was indeed the Spirit of the Millenium Ring in control? That had to be it, right? Why else were they acting like a bunch of loons?
Before he could say anything, Bakura turned around and came across a tall man slowly walking into the stadium. He had a purple cloak with a hood up that was opened at the front, had piercing glowing gold eyes, a facial tattoo, and a very hardened expression. It was Marik's brother, Odion, whom he'd met earlier when they arrived close to the stadium.
Glad that the spotlight was stolen off him for the time being, Bakura relaxed slightly and cast a glance toward Marik. The boy was fixated on his brother, not even paying attention to him. Bakura frowned and looked back at Odion, unsure if this would be convincing to Yugi and his friends.
“State your name.” Kaiba commanded to the newcomer.
“I am Marik Ishtar.” Odion replied in a monotonous voice. “I like to take control of people's minds and dress in highly effeminate clothing. I also have an irrational hatred for gummy bears. I'm pretty much the worst boss ever.”
Bakura balked in shock. What the hell was Marik's brother playing at, stating the obvious and making such incredibly ridiculous quips? Didn't he respect Marik? Why would he say things like that about his brother, let alone when he's supposed to impersonate him?
Was he trying to get the three of them caught and have targets painted on their backs? This couldn't possibly have been the method to divert the suspicion of Yugi and his friends. As much as they were foolish and naive, they weren't that stupid, were they?
But given the way Tristan just acted, Bakura wasn't even sure if that was true anymore. What was even going on? Why was everybody acting so strange?
“No I'm not!” Marik suddenly protested.
Snapping his gaze to Marik, Bakura glared venomously in a way to tell him to shut up. What was wrong with this idiot? He was perfectly convincing during the encounter with Joey and Téa before, so why was he slipping up this badly?
Thankfully, somehow, no one seemed to notice or care about Marik's outburst.
Marik caught Bakura's glare and backpedaled a little. “I mean, uh, who is this person of whom I've never heard of? He seems like a big, bald jerk!”
Nearly facepalming, Bakura glared at his partner yet again and made a slashing motion across his neck. What was he doing? This was insane and not like Marik at all. He was a lot more careful than this. Subtlety maybe wasn't his strong point, true, but up until now, he was perfectly convincing as his “Namu” persona. Now he was acting like a blathering fool.
Not to mention, what was wrong with his voice? He did indeed have somewhat of a nasal inflection, but it wasn't this high-pitched and loud. It sounded more like he had a cold and his nose was pinched at the same time. There was also the fact that he didn't change his tone or inflection when he was supposed to be “Namu”, like he'd done earlier. He just spoke in his regular voice. The regular voice that was a lot more whiny and annoying, mind you.
“Yes, I, Marik Ishtar, am a big jerk.” Odion replied, still in monotone.
“Cut it out, you knobhead!” Marik snapped.
“Yes, I, Marik Ishtar, am a knobhead.”
Marik yelled back, “I command you to stop agreeing with me!”
Why did nobody notice this? Yugi and his friends were all transfixed on Odion, as if they couldn't even hear Marik right now. How was that possible? Marik was in perfect earshot of them and practically blowing his cover, a step short of holding a sign above his head that read his name with an arrow pointing down at him. Bakura wasn't sure if he was relieved or horrified about this.
How did Marik become this incompetent and this obnoxious? What was with Odion trying to be way too obvious? Bakura felt like he was going crazy, but it didn't explain why everybody seemed to be acting completely unlike themselves.
Kaiba was not much better. Even though he acknowledged that “Marik” was on notice because of his actions, he seemed to blatantly disregard them due to the fact that he had an Egyptian God Card. All while ignoring the fact that Marik and his Rare Hunters had kidnapped Mokuba. When the said child suggested getting Marik arrested, Kaiba simply said that apparently card games were the law around there. What was that supposed to mean?
And what was with that apparently German security personnel screaming “Heil Kaiba!” like that? Was he a Nazi or something?
Bakura had little time to dwell on this before a giant blimp arrived and set itself into the stadium. Yugi and his friends were making weird, obvious quips that didn't sound like them at all. Although he did get a mild chuckle at the idea that the blimp was a third of Kaiba's ego. Marik meanwhile was thankfully quiet. He just had to try and get some answers about why everyone was acting vastly weird.
And why Marik was being a complete idiot.
The Battle City Finals were apparently taking place on this blimp, for some reason, but whatever. Everyone pretty much dispersed once their numbers were given and could go to their cabins to relax before the first duel would begin.
Keeping up his Ryou facade, Bakura just simply followed along with the group as they boarded and made their way around the corridors. Téa continued to practically paw all over Marik, constantly making strange sounds or gushing about how hot he was.
This was weird, considering she was never this forward, especially with a crush, if she had any. Marik was on a strange level of liking the attention (go figure, considering his ego) but also not quite giving it back. Whatever the reason. Yugi made special mention of his midriff more than once. Tristan exclaimed, “By the Gods, that's exactly what I want to look like!” and so forth. Joey either didn't say a word or would go “Nyeh” every once and a while.
This was bizarre. Why was everybody acting so strange?
“I have nothing of any interest or thought to say!” Marik suddenly said, laughing. “I'm extremely bland and one-dimensional!”
Bakura suppressed the urge to groan and discreetly rolled his eyes. He was going to have to have a serious talk with that boy.
“It could be worse, you could be Tristan!” Yugi declared. “At least you're hot enough to get away with it, Malik!”
Malik?! Bakura balked at Marik, who didn't seem to notice. What was he thinking?!
“Hamana hamana hamana!” Téa cried, gazing at Marik with starry eyes. “Oh, take me to bed, you Egyptian hottie!” She then looked between Marik and Bakura, seeming to think something over. “On second thought, I think you two should make out instead! You did save Bakura's life, so that's already a perfect recipe for a rescue romance! Think of all the fanfics!”
Balking, Bakura was speechless and Marik just laughed like it was the funniest thing. Was he going crazy? He had to be going crazy. It was just like that show Ryou suggested he watch with him, The Twilight Zone. Why else would everyone and Marik act like complete idiots, openly spell out their flaws, and make no effort to change?
Then there was the insinuation of them being, well, intimate. Bakura looked away to hide the fact he was blushing, which was thankfully something Ryou would do, and didn't say anything. He repressed those thoughts as much as he could, since there was no possible way he could ever feel that way toward someone. Much less someone he was working with. It was absurd and not a possibility.
But he would be lying if he said he didn't think of it. Deep, deep, deep within the recesses of his mind, far beyond his reach, were those urges. After all, Marik was incredibly attractive and had such captivating eyes. It had to be Ryou's teenage hormones blending in with his own soul, it just had to be. But the main appeal was their understanding of one another, of their similar goals. That had to count for something.
But Bakura couldn't let himself fall into that.
“Sorry to burst your yaoi fanfic bubble, but I'm not gay!” Marik loudly declared and laughed again. He brought an arm around Bakura's shoulder, patting him a little.
Having to stay in-character despite his mind screaming for relief, Bakura just laughed awkwardly. What could he even say to all of this craziness? It was beginning to melt his brain and he hated it. This was ridiculous and beyond foolish. Maybe it was a dream. It had to be a dream, right?
Why did his sexuality, which he himself wasn't even sure of due to not having thought about it, suddenly become important to these idiots?
“Now that I think about it, wouldn't it be way hotter if it was that evil alter ego of yours, Bakura?” Téa asked with a grin.
“You mean that extremely sexy, evil British guy of whom I've never met?” Marik asked. “I get it, the fangirls love us!”
Bakura wasn't sure if he wanted to send him to the Shadow Realm or be slightly flattered at being referred to as sexy. Either way, he looked at Marik in the way Ryou would to plead him to just stop. It didn't seem to work.
“Yep! I think it's called Thiefshipping...” Téa said thoughtfully. “Anyway, I'm gonna go see if Yugi and his sexy alter ego are up for a threesome! Tee hee hee hee hee!” She giggled and scurried off.
Joey, who was close by, just laughed. “Sorry 'bout Téa there Malik, she's all into that fanfic stuff!”
“That's okay Steve, I like to read yaoi too!” Marik grinned. “It's not gay to read yaoi!”
'I'm actually surrounded by idiots.' Bakura thought, having to repress the urge to send everyone to the Shadow Realm just to free himself from this absurdity.
And why was Marik calling Joey Steve?
Bakura, ever the sneaky thief, decided to snoop around when Kaiba and his security weren't around. It was pretty easy since everything was accessible on this blimp, strangely enough.
He found a strange machine that they would use on lottery programs, which Bakura had to assume was for deciding the contestants of the duels. It was weird, but also concerning. What if it meant he and Marik ended up dueling? That was going to spell all kinds of trouble and put a dent in their plans, he figured.
But there was little he could do about it. He had to act like complacent, unaware Ryou, after all.
Thankfully, Yugi and his friends were messing about elsewhere, and so he went to the cabin whose number assigned to Marik. Raising his fist, Bakura knocked loudly and hard after making sure no one else was around.
“You better be room service because these pillows aren't fluffy enough!” Marik complained from the other side. “How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep if my pillows aren't perfectly fluffy?”
“It's me, you fool!” Bakura growled, in no mood for this obnoxious attitude.
There was a pause, then the door opened. Marik blinked once, looking at him with confusion. Glaring venomously, Bakura pushed past him into the room and made sure the door was shut. He turned around to face the boy, folding his arms over his chest.
“What the hell do you think you're doing, Marik?!” Bakura demanded. “What are you playing at?! You almost got us caught!”
“Um...” Marik looked at him sheepishly, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “I don't know? A children's card game...?”
“Will you cut that out?!” Bakura snarled, advancing on him. He lowered his voice. “You're acting like a complete fool and very suspicious! I don't know what in the world has come over you, but you're going to give yourself away if you don't stop! And another thing, what in the world has gotten into you?! How do you explain all of that nonsense you were spouting?! You were getting yourself exposed!”
Marik looked a bit frightened, which was absolutely unlike him, and he backed away, holding his hands up in defense. “I swear I'm not trying to get myself exposed! They all think I'm mild-mannered, perfectly normal and boring Malik Blishtar!”
“Malik. Blishtar?!” Bakura yelled and clenched his fists. He didn't get physically violent very often, but boy did he want to punch this imbeciles lights out! “What the absolutely hell is the matter with you, you fool?! That's asking to be caught and isn't even the slightest bit subtle! You called yourself Namu!”
“Namu?!” Marik looked offended. “What the frig kind of a stupid name is that? I had to think of something on the spot!”
Having just about had enough, Bakura grabbed him by the collar with a growl and lifted him off the floor. Marik screeched in surprise and grabbed his arm, trying to wiggle himself free.
“What the frig?! L-Let me down already, Fluffy! I command you to put me down!” He tried to sound intimidating, but it was coming out in high-pitched whines.
Ignoring the insulting, demeaning nickname, Bakura glared daggers at the boy and tightened his grip. “I can't believe I trusted you! You've failed to defeat Yugi Moto and your thinly-veiled disguise somehow only works because everyone is acting absurd! I stabbed myself in the arm for our deal and this, this absolute insanity is how you hold up your end?!”
He cast a quick glance to his left, seeing the Millennium Rod sitting at Marik's bedside. Sooo tempting to just take it...
“Bakura stop it, you're acting way more evil than usual and that's saying a lot!” Marik yelled, tears in his eyes now. “I don't even know what you're talking about!”
In that second, looking at the genuine, raw emotion in Marik's eyes combined with his tears, Bakura faltered. He wasn't sure what made him stop, but he loosened his grip and set the boy back down to the floor. There was also the way he'd stated all of that, which was weird in itself. More evil than usual? Granted he wouldn't deny it, but why use such a term?
“Then kindly explain to me what's going on here.” Bakura ground out in a low voice as he took a step back. He folded his arms over his chest and stared Marik down. Or he tried to, considering that the bloke was actually slightly taller than his host's body.
“Frig Bakura, what are you talking about?!” Marik exclaimed with irritation, smoothing out his lavender crop top from its wrinkles. “Everything's going according to plan and no one knows who I really am! Well except Odion, he's out there making me look bad!”
Bakura rose an eyebrow and then sighed. “Well, I'm not exactly thrilled with the way he conducted himself either, but isn't it the point? You're an adversary to Yugi and his friends.”
“Yes, but I want to look evil, awesome, and intensely hot!” Marik pouted petulantly. “But Odion is making me look evil and not the good kind!”
Choosing to ignore that last statement for its absurdity, Bakura rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. “Why do you even care about that? I hardly think superficial appearances are integral.”
“Um, hello?!” Marik looked as though Bakura had offended his mother. “Were you not paying attention earlier, Bakura?! Appearances are EVERYTHING when you're a sexy villain! You don't just be evil, you have to look awesome and sexy while doing it! Frigging hell, why are you acting like you have amnesia or something?! I told you all of this when we met! Or are you like Dory from that movie Finding Nemo where you forget everything instantly?”
Caught off guard, again, all Bakura could do was stare him, dumbfounded. He hated feeling this way, especially with his partner. This was how he'd been feeling ever since he walked into that stadium and everyone was acting completely unlike themselves. He couldn't judge Odion since the moment he met him with Marik outside the stadium, the man was quiet and only responded with “Yes, Master Marik.” and a nod of acknowledgement when introduced to Bakura.
Why was he referring to himself, or any of them, as a villain? It wasn't untrue, it just didn't make sense outside the context of a fictional character description.
“...What?” Was all Bakura could manage to muster.
Groaning, Marik shook his head and then grabbed at Bakura's shoulders. “Jeez Bakura, what happened to you? You're acting way more serious than before and that's saying a lot! There's that stick up your butt! Did you hit your head or something? Am I going to have to get the hospital to check your brain? You were perfectly fine a few episodes ago!”
Episodes? Bakura let out a groan and pulled away from his hold. This was absurd. Sure, he could tell Marik was definitely just a teenager with the absolute luck of possessing a magical artifact, much like Yugi and Ryou, but he wasn't this ridiculous when he'd met him. At that time, Marik was confident, competent, and had a thorough plan. He didn't exactly like being bossed around by the brat, but Bakura respected him nonetheless. Marik had guts and it was actually admirable. He didn't feel like one of his Rare Hunters, he felt like an equal. There was a reason Bakura was more than willing to work with him.
Never in his life had he had a partnership. Especially one with someone who, like him, had goals of grandeur and wanted to change whatever hand destiny had given. Even with the setbacks, Bakura had still felt confident. But that confidence was beginning to wane with the way Marik was acting. It was like everything he'd said before had gone out the window.
He had to know what was going on.
And besides, his concern was logistical, it had nothing to do with emotions.
“I'm the one acting ridiculous?” Bakura said flippantly, giving a scoff. “Where do you get off making such an accusation? I don't know what in the hell happened around here, but everyone has acted completely unlike themselves and I have yet to find out why! You especially are acting more like a petulant child and seem to have forgotten everything we've talked about! So as I said, what is going on here?”
“I'm not a child! I'm sixteen! ...I think.” Marik frowned in confusion. He pouted, again like a child who'd had his candy taken away. “There's nothing going on, Bakura! Yugi is acting like a gullible goody two-shoes, the Pharaoh is still being all Pharaoh-like, Steve has his Brooklyn accent, Téa's a horny slut, Tristan is dumber than dumb with a funny voice, I'm super sexy and evil, and you're... well, I was going to say evil and British, but now you're just acting weird! And your British accent keeps randomly disappearing, what's up with that? It didn't do that before!”
Once again, Bakura was dumbfounded and his jaw even dropped slightly. The last time he felt this taken aback by Marik was the moment he'd pulled off his helmet and revealed just how beautiful he was. All before he'd stood up from his motorcycle, revealing his shirt to be bearing his midriff, and being very lean but with impressive muscles. The fact he was clearly a natural blond but with dark skin. Then there were his eyes. Striking, piercing, and a lovely shade of lavender, darker than his hoodie. They were hard, but filled with gleaming excitement.
But at the time, he'd managed to repress this distraction and keep to the task at hand. This time, however, he just couldn't mask his utter shock at what he was hearing.
Everything he'd said about Yugi and his friends was completely inaccurate. Yugi, maybe, but the way the Pharaoh's host had spoken earlier was indicative enough that he was uncharacteristic. Ryou, who knew them better, would have vehemently disagreed.
And why was he still referring to Joey as Steve?!
Why didn't he just distract the boy, snatch the Millennium Rod, and then take off running when he had the chance?
Looking to the nearest wall, Bakura briefly considered going over and banging his head against it. Anything was better than this.
“Bakura?”
Jerking his head back to Marik, he was surprised to find that the boy was now looking at him with genuine concern. A strange sensation coursed within his stomach. No, it had to be Ryou's body reacting to something.
“Are you okay?” Marik asked, taking a step toward him.
Scoffing, Bakura looked away and folded his arms over his chest. “I'm fine. Just having to process all of this... madness.”
“Come on Bakura, don't be such a stick in the mud!” Marik insisted, shaking his head. “We've got time before the extremely tedious card games start, maybe we should do something!”
Although he was beginning to fear the answer, given the way Marik was acting, Bakura decided to let his curiosity take hold. “And what do you have in mind?”
Marik's face lit up and he grinned. “I'm hungry, let's go get some food!”
Bakura was already regretting his decision.
They'd gone out into the hallway, to which Marik was searching for food. Bakura made mention of the mini fridge their rooms had, but Marik wasn't listening. He was prattling on about something or another, then said there had to be a kitchen of some sort. Then Marik grabbed him, quite roughly, and ducked around a corner, eyes wide.
“Frig, that's my sister!” He whispered loudly.
“Sister?” Bakura repeated and took a look around the bend.
A woman was walking by, heading toward one of the cabins. She had her face covered save for her eyes, which were stern, blue, and intense. Along with a white dress, she also wore a white hood with a cape over her head and some gold jewellery.
But what caught Bakura's eye even more was the fact she had the Millennium Necklace resting around her neck. This was confirmed the very second that the Millennium Ring's tines pointed over toward her instantly.
'Of course! I remember, he told me that his sister has the Millennium Necklace. And if she's here, that means she knows what's going on...'
But he couldn't dwell on it long enough before she disappeared through a doorway and was gone.
Marik relaxed and released him, breathing heavily.
“You didn't tell me that part.” Bakura hissed through gritted teeth. He turned to Marik, narrowing his eyes.
“Didn't tell you what part?” Marik looked at him with confusion. “Is this about the-”
“That!” Bakura pointed down the hallway. “Your sister is in the tournament!”
“Huh? Oh, right! Yeah, she is.” Marik shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal.
Looking all around them to make sure no one was close by, Bakura let out a snarl and grabbed Marik's arm, leading down the corridor. Marik was protesting, asking inane questions, until they finally found the kitchen. Thankfully, no one else seemed to be in there.
“Marik, do you realize how much of a liability this is?!” Bakura demanded once he'd slid the door shut. “Given the way you reacted upon seeing her, she isn't in on your plan like your brother, is she?” It wasn't a question.
“Nope! She doesn't understand me!” Marik pouted.
Bakura shook his head. “Marik, she'll recognize you and be able to easily identify you to Yugi and his friends.”
“Oh it's fine!” Marik waved it off like it was nothing. “She won't even know I'm here!”
“She clearly does know you're here. I refuse to believe that she just happened to enter the tournament for fun.” Bakura ground out. “Will you stop acting like a fool?! I can't have you exposed before our bargain is fulfilled! First you change plans on me and now your sister, who wants to stop you, is in the vicinity. Since she possesses a Millennium Item, I doubt you can control her mind. So tell me, how is it going to be fine?”
“It's simple!” Marik said, unabashed. He looked around and went to a series of cupboards, practically salivating. “She's going to be sitting in her room for the next few episodes! I thought you knew that, Bakura.”
Why did he keep referring to episodes? More than that, how could he know she would do such a thing? The Millennium Necklace afforded the user the ability to see the future, he highly doubted the Millennium Rod did the same thing.
“I don't know that and I fail to see how you would know that.” Bakura snarled. “We can't avoid her because she's a contestant, clearly, I saw that duel disk on her arm. We can't confront her because that would expose you. We also can't send her to the Shadow Realm which although would solve the problem, because it would look highly suspicious. I also imagine she would foresee it and prevent it.”
“Bakura, I just told you, she's going to be in her room for the next few episodes!” Marik replied, sounding irritated. “Now come on, there's so much food in here! I have to find the freezer anyway, I need ice cubes!”
Facepalming, Bakura just gave up. Nothing was getting through to this newly made idiot and he was just as unsure of what to do. He leaned against the nearby wall, arms crossed, and tried to think of a plan. Ignoring the madness around him, they still had to make sure to avoid being seen by Marik's sister. Odion was reportedly in his room, holed up, making everyone believe he was Marik, and so far that seemed fine. But the sister clearly knew the truth and could easily expose them.
Glancing over at the boy, Bakura was met with the sight of Marik bending over to pick something up from the floor. His dark cargo pants were nicely clad around his rear, offering a nice view of its shape. Scoffing, he looked away to avoid distraction. Luckily, Marik had stood up, seemingly oblivious to what happened, and was on his quest to find... whatever it was he was looking for.
All the while, Marik did one of two things. Singing some kind of song or prattling on about nonsense that he only half-heard.
Still with no answers as to why he was acting so stupid, Bakura found himself rubbing his temples and trying to think of more important things to tune him out. But what could he do? There was no one else he could ask about everyone's behaviour and Marik was, he had to begrudgingly admit, the only person around he could be himself around right now. Even with his blatant stupidity at he moment. But at least there was no need to have his Ryou impression at the forefront.
This had to be a dream. But it felt far too real to be a dream, unfortunately.
On top of that, Bakura knew that he wasn't so out of touch that he missed all these details. That wasn't the case at all. Even when Ryou was in control of his body, Bakura always kept a keen eye out to observe, learn things, and be able to take control at a perfect opportunity. He knew exactly what Yugi and his friends acted like and sounded like. This was not the case. Everybody was acting completely uncharacteristically and some even had different voices, which was alarming and weird.
Tristan was one such egregious example. He remembered interacting with him back in Duelist Kingdom, when trying to take Mokuba's soulless body from him. Tristan had been bold, smart enough to see right through him, and quick to act. Even his dimwitted moment of not seeing the ledge outside the open door was able to be chalked up to being in the midst of a panicked, overwhelming situation and not having the wherewithal to look around. This was the same teen who had managed to outsmart Bakura and physically knock him unconscious.
Tristan was not stupid. He also didn't have a bizarre voice and spout random non-sequiturs.
'Nothing is making sense and that's irritating. But it's not like I can easily convince everyone that they're acting strange. Especially Marik... I couldn't have overestimated him, he's proven worthy of my partnership before.' Bakura thought, his eyes occasionally flicking over to where Marik was happily adding some ice cubes to a glass. 'Now we have his sister to worry about. I'll have to figure out a plan to keep her out of the way long enough for our bargain to be fulfilled. But how? I can't let her stop us. Retrieving the Millennium Necklace from her won't be easy...'
Marik's voice suddenly interrupted his train of thought. “Hey Bakura, why was your gaydar pointing at my sister? I'm pretty sure she's not gay.”
Looking at him, Bakura glared. “My what?”
“Your gaydar!” Marik pointed at the Millennium Ring. “You told me that you have a gaydar installed so that you could go out and find gay people because secretly you're very lonely! Jeez Bakura, your short-term memory loss is kicking in again!”
Balking, Bakura was, yet at again, at a loss for words. Gaydar? What was that even supposed to be? What was Marik blathering on about? Everything else stated before was definitely strange and stupid, but this was a whole other level. Just when he thought nothing further could surprise him, another curveball was thrown.
“You've clearly gone mad since we last encountered somehow because I don't know what you're talking about.” Bakura spat, feeling insulted. “Gaydar, that's ridiculous. My Millennium Ring has the ability to seek out other Millennium Items, you fool! I thought you of all people would know that. As for being lonely, that's hardly any of your concern. But just to humour you, I'll remind you that I inhabit the body of my host, so I'm never lonely.”
Now Marik made a weird face. “Whoa Bakura, I'm not judging you for being gay but since when are you and your host-”
“Not like that, you idiot!” Bakura yelled. He pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, groaning. “I meant that because we inhabit the same body, we're able to communicate. Just as Yugi does with the Pharaoh inside the Millennium Puzzle. I thought yet again that you of all people would know that! But it seems I was somehow mistaken.”
“Ohhhhh, I get it now!” Marik chirped, taking the glass and sipping from it. “So then you don't think I'm gay, that's a relief!”
Rolling his eyes, Bakura looked away. “Your preferences aren't the least bit of a concern to me. All I care about is obtaining what is rightfully mine.”
“That's okay, now you can be my gay best friend! I know it's something girls tend to have, but I'll take it!” Marik went on. He brought another drink over to Bakura, to which he wordlessly accepted it. “I mean, just because I dress effeminately, flaunt my gorgeous abs, hang out with another extremely attractive man, read yaoi, and suggestively stroke a phallic symbol in every other scene doesn't automatically make me gay!”
Taking a sip from his drink, Bakura rolled his eyes yet again. Why did Marik have to be so vapid and talk about nonsense? They had far more serious matters they could be discussing and he was choosing to act like a fool. It was astounding. How did this boy manage to take on Yugi and his friends like this? Were his Rare Hunters the real brains behind the operation, somehow?
“You certainly do comment often about my appearance for a straight man.” Bakura remarked, giving him a side-eye glance.
“Hey!” Marik said indignantly, pouting. “I'm not blind Bakura, I can see when someone is sexy! Not as sexy as me, of course. Even that Duke Devlin kid has nothing on me! Granted he's a close contender, but no one can surpass the sexiness of I, Marik Sebastian Ishtar the Third!”
There was more to his name? Why hadn't he mentioned it before since he was so full of himself? Deciding to ignore that, Bakura just shrugged and took another sip of his drink. At least he got under Marik's skin, though.
“As much as I'm having so much fun discussing your alleged preferences, there's work to be done.” Bakura said, voice edging with sarcasm. “We still have to ensure that your sister is out of the way for the time being.”
“Not this again!” Marik whined, throwing his head back. “I already told you Bakura, she's just going to sit in her room and talk to herself for a few episodes! She can tell the future so apparently she can just sit there until she's gotta duel!”
Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Bakura finished his drink and placed the glass aside. “How can you be so sure? And for that matter, considering how much you've changed plans on me without prior notice, why should I believe you? Your little act of playing dumb isn't going to work on me.”
“Oh look, there's some gummy bears in here!” Marik suddenly said, now checking the pantry. “I'll keep these in my room so Odion doesn't get them first! Haha! After he made me look bad, no gummy bears for him!”
Letting out an irritated snarl, Bakura went over and grabbed him by the arm. “Let's go back to the room, I can't have anyone walking in on us like this.”
Marik blinked at him, then his cheeks pinkened slightly. “Bakura, are you coming on to me? I told you, I'm not gay!”
“Why is everything perverted with all of you?!” Bakura yelled, pulling Marik away from the pantry.
“You're standing really close to me and propositioning that we go back to one of our rooms!” Marik looked away, embarrassed.
“I meant so that we could have privacy, you imbecile.”
“I said I'm not gay, Bakura!”
“Would you stop that?!”
Snarling, Bakura tightened his grip and was about to just drag him back, but then a thought occurred to him. Somehow, logic and reasoning wasn't getting through to the boy. But, he figured, he could get under his skin and make him stop being so foolish. It would be a huge blow to his own pride, especially since he never used seduction tactics on anyone, but there was a first time for everything.
At least Marik was attractive and it wouldn't be a complete lie on his part. He just had to play his cards right.
“You really do bring it up a lot, Marik.” Bakura chuckled, smirking at him. He walked closer, his hand loosening on Marik's arm slightly. “What's the matter? Are you afraid I'm going to assume that you... like men?”
Marik let out a choked gasp and his blush deepened. “I don't! That's the point!”
“Really. Then why do you bring it up so much?” Bakura chuckled, stepping closer and backing him against the wall. “You've talked about how straight you are quite a bit. I would've assumed you would have more confidence about it if that were the case. Why would you feel the need to defend yourself it was true?”
“Because it is true!” Marik huffed, pouting. “I'm as straight as they come! Now frig off already!”
“Why? You've said numerous times that I'm attractive, that you think I'm very sexy.” Bakura purred, placing his free hand on the wall next to Marik's head. His smirk widened, seeing that his game was working.
“Well of course you are, and now you're actually looking at me the same way you usually do when you're not all grouchy!” Marik said, squirming under his touch. “So now I know you're not crazy!”
Now Marik's cheeks were getting pinker, despite his dark skin. Admittedly, Bakura couldn't help finding it cute. Having the boy nervous and quivering at his feet after being so, so bold and ordering him around was even better.
“What's wrong? Are you so taken in by my attractiveness that you're rendered speechless? Isn't that interesting.” Bakura chuckled, bringing his free hand to brush a strand of hair out of Marik's eyes. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
Marik grunted, his eyes darting every which way. He then huffed and looked away. “If you're trying to top me, it's not going to happen! Everyone knows I would be on top in this relationship! Also, I'm not gay!”
Bakura couldn't help laughing at this. “Why would it even matter to you?”
“It's called being hypothetical, Fluffy!” Marik pouted, his cheeks puffing up. “I know for sure that you'd be on the bottom!”
It was right about then that the door opened and in walked Tristan, Duke, and Téa. They stared at the two of them, to which Bakura knew much to his embarrassment, currently in a compromising position.
“Ooohhhh guys, we just walked in on a gay moment!” Téa exclaimed with excitement. “Don't mind us, just pretend we're not here!”
“I'd ask to cut in, but I don't think they'd want that.” Duke remarked.
Why was there music playing every time Duke spoke? And why was his voice different?
'Why did I think this was a good idea?' Bakura thought. He pulled away from Marik and reverted to his Ryou persona. “It isn't what you think, we were just playing around.”
“I play around all the time!” Tristan declared proudly. “Zach and Cody love to play hide and seek, but I never know which one I end up finding!”
“Foolish fools! Little do you know that we are actually-” Marik began, but was elbowed by Bakura in the ribs. “Ow! That wasn't nice!”
“Sorry about that, I think my arm slipped!” Bakura as Ryou said with a sheepish giggle. “We were just going to partake in something to eat, actually.”
Thankfully, Marik seemed to recall his original conquest for food and went about searching for some. At least he could feed his landlord for a change and not have to worry about Ryou passing out when he regained control. Not that he ever intentionally starved the body, he just tended to have more important things to focus on.
Later, they were back in Marik's room, still with time to spare. They'd run into Yugi on the way there, who was still acting just as odd, but not to any extremes as others. Yugi didn't seem the least bit suspicious and just told them he'd see them on the dueling field. Marik tried to, yet again, blow their cover, but Bakura had cut him off before he could.
Now they were sitting together and eating some food. Marik was happily munching on a salad and a vegetable/rice mix, humming in pleasure as he ate. Bakura meanwhile was eager to dig into an actual medium steak, and stabbed it with his fork. Lifting it to his mouth, he opened his maw wide and bit into it, tearing off the piece with his teeth. Sauce and bits of meat flew everywhere as he did so, getting on his face, the table, and on Marik too. The boy looked disgusted and shook his head.
“Bakura, don't eat with your mouth open like that!” Marik nagged, taking a napkin and wiping himself with it. “It gets everywhere!”
“Or what?” Bakura challenged, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “After experiencing all of this unexplained madness, I could use a little sustenance.”
“Close your frigging mouth, you messy eater!” Marik snapped. He picked up another napkin and leaned over to wipe his face.
Letting out a grunt, Bakura pushed him back, “Don't treat me like I'm some kind of a child!”
“Someone has to, didn't your mother ever teach you how to eat?” Marik griped as he sat back down.
Glaring, he just ignored that statement and went back to eating. Messily. He tuned out Marik's complaints the whole time. This time just to spite him.
“You had better pay up after I win my next duel.” Bakura ground out. “I still don't know what's going on around here, but don't think that you can back out of our deal. I will have the Millennium Items, and since there are two of them in this vicinity, I won't be leaving without them.”
“What are you talking about?” Marik looked at him oddly.
Bakura balked, stunned. He regained himself and glared. “What do you mean, what am I talking about?! Our deal, of course! So long as I help you retrieve the Egyptian God cards from Yugi and Kaiba, you'll give me the Millennium Items. However, I was snooping around earlier and I spotted an intricate lottery machine. They're going to randomly decide on who our opponents will be. For all we know, I could end up dueling against you. What then?”
“Wait, what about the prophecy?” Marik asked.
“...Prophecy?” Bakura blinked, now intrigued. “Hmm. I don't recall there being a prophecy. Why don't you enlighten me?”
“Oh frig, your short-term memory loss is really getting to you, Bakura!” Marik exclaimed, looking worried. “We talked about it a few episodes ago! 4Kids is trying to bring about the end of the world and we have to stop them!”
Silence fell between them. Marik stared at him intently, blinking a couple times, and seemed to be waiting for him to answer. Needless to say, Bakura was stunned and couldn't even formulate a coherent thought. Nothing made sense. How was this even happening and why? He had to be going crazy. That was the only explanation at this point.
He usually had a very strong resolve. Very little could break him outside of unfortunate defeat. But now, after all of this stupidity, absurdity, with no explanation for it, Bakura felt as though his mind shattered. Fork falling onto his plate, he leaned over and buried his face in his hands.
What was happening? Why was it happening? It couldn't have been Zorc. His power was strong, but still dormant within the Millennium Ring and unable to truly affect the world at the moment. Was he dreaming?
If it was possible to feel your mind just crack in half, he suspected this was what it felt like. Every bit of his being was numb. It was a wonder he was even physically holding himself together.
“Bakura? Bakura, are you okay?” Marik asked, his tone concerned. “Jeez, I know the prophecy is evil and sounds terrifying but you don't have to be scared! We're going to take it on, remember? We're a pair of evil, sexy villains, and nothing can stop us!”
Trembling violently, Bakura lowered his hands, and then did the only thing he could think of. He barked out a laugh, which transcended into more laughter, until he couldn't stop. What else could he do? Nothing made sense and he was clearly going mad, might as well ride the crazy train.
After all, if nothing else made sense, why should he?
“Okay? I know it's a good plan but I don't think you have to do the whole evil laugh thing...” Marik remarked, staring at him oddly.
Bakura kept laughing, trembled, and stood up rapidly. He grabbed at some of his hair, twisting and pulling it, while grinning madly.
Blinking, Marik stared at him in surprise, unmoving. “Um, Bakura? Are you... feeling okay?”
“Okay? Okay?! Of course I am!” Bakura cried, letting out maniacal laughter as he threw his head back. “I'm perfectly marvellous! Nothing makes sense! Making sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense? In fact, I must be dreaming and unable to awaken! Somehow I fell asleep! Well! Since this is a dream, anything I say and do apparently has no consequence!”
“Oh frig, you're going crazy!” Marik got up from his seat and went over to him, grabbing his shoulders. “Come on Bakura, I know your short-term memory loss sucks but you have to relax!”
This just kept making Bakura laugh harder. He would've fallen over if Marik wasn't holding him up. Whatever kind of filter or force keeping his mind intact was just gone. “I have a better idea! Why don't we go find Yugi and steal his Millennium Puzzle right now! He's probably off in his room! Never mind the Pharaoh, we can take them both on! We'll duel him together, one on two! Or we'll just take it and run! At least my dream will have a better chance of leading me to fulfill my destiny! Then I can finally rule the world with the power of all seven Millennium Items at my disposal! You can be right at my side as my loyal beta! We'll rule together!”
Shaking his head wildly, Marik then slapped him across the face. “Frigging hell Bakura, pull yourself together, man!” Marik yelled.
It stunned Bakura and cut him off from laughing or speaking further. The boy then grabbed onto his shoulders, shaking him violently.
“You're not yourself and it's weirding me out! Why is your short-term memory loss making you so crazy?!”
Panting a little, Bakura worked to regain his breathing, and his composure. Had he really just lost it? He'd never lost it before, not like this. Not in five-thousand years. All of this insanity was seriously getting to him, but how could he avoid it? Was it all a dream as he suspected? Or was something else going on that he couldn't pinpoint?
Now he'd just cracked. Right in front of Marik. But if it had to be anyone, at least it was him. If only he could just erase his own memory of what had happened, but he didn't want to risk doing that to himself.
“Bakura? Bakura, say something! Say something about how sexy I am, that should make you feel better! Maybe you should look at my midriff!” Marik offered, his voice strained. “I'm extremely gorgeous, I can snap anyone out of their mental funk! Oh wait, since you have short-term memory loss, maybe I should bonk you on the head with something! Here, let me get my duel disk-”
Shaking his head, Bakura pulled back from him. He tried to stand, but only sunk to the floor on his knees. Trembling, he leaned on his hands, breathing heavily. Marik knelt beside him, putting a hand on his hair and on his back.
“Come on, Fluffy! Say something already!” Marik cried. He held his curled fist near Bakura's face. “Quick! How many fingers am I holding up?”
Bakura didn't respond. He just stared blankly at nothing.
“That's right, zero! Wow, you're good at this game!” Marik complimented.
Staring at the floor, Bakura blinked his eyes, slowing his breathing down a bit. “I... I don't know what came over me. Everything is completely absurd and I don't even know why.”
“I keep telling you, your short-term memory loss is making you insane!” Marik shook him a little and tried to get him to stand up. “Not remembering things do that to people! You've seen all those movies! Remember The Hangover?”
Bakura stared at him blankly as he managed to get up to his feet. Marik still held him, keeping up upright. Although he'd come down from his crazy high, there was a whirlwind of emotions within him that he wasn't used to feeling. Confusion, disorientation, embarrassment. He wanted to just curl up and disappear into the Shadow Realm.
“Fluffy? Fluffy? Helloooo?” Marik waved a hand in his face. “Now you're spacing out and it's kind of weird! Wait, are you asleep or something? Asleep with your eyes open?”
How could he have just let himself go like this? Even with the strange, inexplicable change in the people around him, he should've had far better control than this. After all of this time, an anomaly was enough to make him lose his mind? Bakura trembled and squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists. No, he was better than that. He wasn't about to let himself crumble further. Whatever was happening, he had to accept it. He hated it, by the Gods he hated it, but there was little choice.
If it was at least still possible to accomplish his goals, he would just have to find a way to navigate through the stupidity. Somehow.
“Oh, crap in a basket! Now you're asleep!” Marik was saying, sounding a mix of annoyed and panicked. “How the frig am I supposed to wake you up and break the spell?!”
There was a pause. Bakura wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not, but focused on keeping himself calm.
“Ooh I know! If Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid and that weird Once Upon A Time TV show taught me anything, it's that a kiss can break any spell! Even ones with memory!” Marik exclaimed gleefully. “Pucker up, Bakura! Don't worry, it's not gay, it's just to break a spell!”
Before Bakura had any time to process what was happening, his lips were then covered by Marik's. His eyes shot open and he froze in place, his entire body rigid. All he could do was stare at Marik's face filling his vision while feeling his lips. Oh Gods.
Marik's lips were warm, soft, and ignited the strangest of sensations within his being. Completely foreign and strange. Bakura had never kissed anyone, five-thousand years ago or in the present. He wasn't an idiot, he knew what kissing was, he was fully aware that people engaged in intimate activities. He didn't believe that babies came from some magical flying bird. It was just never something that he considered, let alone cared about.
The kiss was gentle. So gentle, it was almost like feathers touching his mouth. His knees buckled and chills ran up his spine. Many conflicting thoughts ran through his mind, unsure of how to respond to this. It was nice, admittedly. But there was something so off about it. Like something was missing.
Finally, Marik pulled away, looking a bit dazed himself. He looked over Bakura, then grinned widely. “Oh wow, it actually worked! Holy frig, I should've thought of this earlier! It felt weird but it worked!”
Still at a loss for words, Bakura just stared at him, his cheeks heated, and still rooted to the spot he was standing on.
“Okay Fluffy, you need to go lie down! Then you'll feel so much better! Come to think of it, I should've laid you down first!” Marik laughed, taking Bakura by the hand and leading him across the room to his bed.
Bakura didn't even protest. He just brought a hand to his lips, still taken aback by the kiss. His mind refused to settle as conflicting thoughts and emotions coursed through him. He hated it. Having feelings, especially confusing feelings, was something he tried so hard to avoid. The closest he ever felt to something was with Ryou. Begrudgingly, he'd come to terms with admitting to himself that Ryou was like a brother to him. Not that anyone would ever know this, of course.
Since meeting Marik, those strange inklings were arising again. He couldn't explain it, but they were there. And now with Marik having kissed him, they were refusing to let up.
Marik pulled off Bakura's shoes after the latter sat down, then set them aside. He grinned upon standing back up. “Sorry that the pillows aren't fluffy enough, I don't know what idiot decided that it was a good idea! How are we supposed to get our beauty sleep?”
Waving it off, Bakura just lay on the bed and rested his head on the not-fluffy pillow. His eyes flicked to Marik briefly as the boy sat on a cube chair next to the bed.
With a heavy sigh, he turned his head to look away. This was all too weird and all he wanted was to stop this madness. Maybe a nap was what he needed.
“Ooh, I know! I can lift your spirits with a little sing-song!” Marik exclaimed with giddiness. He cleared his throat and began to “sing”. “The sun'll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun! Just thinkin' about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow! Till there's none!”
Groaning, Bakura threw an arm over his eyes and squeezed them shut. “Stop it.”
“Yeah, you're right! That's not the song for you! Let me see...” Marik went quiet for a few moments, then snapped his fingers. “I got just the thing! A-A-Ahem! 'Who's that crazy kook destroyin' the world? It's Zorc! That's me! It's Zorc and Pals! The blood of the innocent will flow without end! His name is Zorc and he's destroyin' the world!”
How... did he even know about Zorc? And why was the Lord of Darkness suddenly a childish theme song? A part of Bakura wanted to ask, but by now, he was losing the strength to care and just wanted this to be over.
Great. Still an overly excited child for some reason. Bakura grabbed the pillow and covered his head with it, squeezing the sides over his ears. Marik just laughed and said he understood if Bakura needed the lights out, so he turned them off.
Thankfully, soon he dozed off and retreated to his soul room where he could finally restore his mind. Every now and again he'd glance down at the hole that showed him what was going on in the world. Marik was still sitting by his bedside, talking to him about nonsense. But his expression was no longer trying to be cheerful. He looked worried. Then he actually reached over and held Bakura's hand, squeezing it.
“Feel better soon, Bakura.” Marik said softly.
Strangely, it was kind of touching. If only the madness hadn't happened, then maybe he could appreciate it a little more.