Chapter Text
Aaron coughed weakly, all this for one person? For a single professor, who he held parental love for. George Washinton.
Aaron watched from the sidelines as Alexander got praise, a place to stay and a family. He watched Washington play favourites, giving extra attention to Alexander and his friends. Aaron was a prodigy and did better in Washington's classes than Alexander did, but he wasn’t worth a glance from his idol.
Aaron recalled the first time he coughed up those yellow carnation petals. Petals that now came out red instead, coated in Aaron's own blood. They were receiving back essays, which were to be written on the topic of how forming relationships helps in a workplace environment. Aaron got the essay done as quickly as possible when it had been assigned. The essay was given back with a full mark. He was proud of himself, until he realised Alexander had been given extra points. There was a small note next to the mark, reading ‘Great job, son’. Aarons chest constricted, he glanced over at Madison's page, almost perfect, another note. He tried his best to catch a glimpse of everyone else's papers, those that he did see had notes. Aaron felt a tingle at the back of his throat, there was something in his lungs.
Washington dismissed them and Aaron bolted up. He scrambled to grab his things and rushed to the bathroom, he felt as though he was going the puke. As soon as he made it into the stall he cough harshly, petals falling out of his mouth as saliva trailed down his chin. Aaron was shocked at the large amount of petals that filled the toilet bowl, although some ended up on the ground. Aaron heaved but nothing else came out. He pulled out his phone, and texted Laurens that he would be home late and to leave the door unlocked as Aaron would lock it when he showed up.
When Laurens replied Aaron sighed lightly, before cleaning himself up and heading to the library. He asked the librarian on where to find books with flower meanings. He flipped through several books before finding the meaning of yellow carnations, ‘Disdain, disappointment and rejection’. Aaron laughed bitterly, those felt pretty accurate to how his and Washington's relationship worked. The laughing turned into coughing, which turned into more yellow carnation petals falling to the floor. Aaron felt tears welling up in his eyes, it hurt, both the flowers and the rejection. He knew Hanahaki was relatively common nowadays, although usually to do with romantic love instead of platonic or familiar. Aaron cleaned himself off, gathering the petals and disposing of them. Just as he was throwing the last bit out he heard a gasp.
Aaron whirled around and was faced with Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton reached out but Aaron flinched away.
“I- I’m so sorry- is it you that has it?” Aaron pounced on the chance to remove Alexander's involvement. He shook his head.
“Friend. I’m just helping clean up the aftermath.” Alexander gave him a suspicious glance, before noting the book in his arms.
“What do they mean?” Aaron stuttered for a moment, before flipping to the page, acting as though the words hadn’t been ingrained into his mind.
“Disdain, disappointment and rejection.” Alexander winced, reaching for the book and taking it from Aarons arms.
“Do you know who they're for? What type of love? Is it a student? What’s their mental state like? Are they getting the surgery or confessing?” Alexander rapidly fired off questions, only stopping when he saw Aaron wince as the onslaught of loud talking.
“It's Prf. Washington. Familiar. They feel pretty bad. They don’t know yet.” Aaron answered, confessing his own feelings under the protection of a fake identity. Alexander nodded, promising to follow up as he’s never known someone with hanahaki before, Aaron agreed with a tight smile, clearly uncomfortable.
Once Alexander left Aaron made his way home, already knowing that the whole gang would be present. As soon as he entered he was interrogated by Alexander's friends, begging to know who it was on campus that Aaron knew and was coughing up flowers. Aaron sighed, pushing past them and heading into his bedroom, locking the door as quickly as possible so that he could rest. Aaron glanced at his measly trash can and sighed. He would need a bigger one if he wanted his issue to remain hidden. God, how would he keep it hidden from Laurens? He needed a very quick solution to this.
For a brief moment Aaron thought about going to Washington and telling him about the situation. Aaron quickly pushed that aside, what was he going to tell the older man? That he was so jealous of Alexander Hamilton's perfect life that he started to cough up flowers? Was he going to say how Washington treated him worse than all of his other students? How all Aaron wanted was to be acknowledged by one of his idols who he interacted with on a daily basis? Aaron felt the tears streaming down his face and heard the sobs coming out of his mouth. The horrible pain in his lungs as a flower grew and thrived within them, the feeling of petals shoving their way up his through and onto his floor as a mixture of saliva and tears flowed down his face.
Weren’t the petals supposed to be coming in small amounts at first? Didn’t Hanahaki take a while to form completely. Aaron gasped as he stopped coughing, taking in large amounts of air to compensate for the lack of oxygen he’d been taking in while coughing up petals. Aaron felt faint, dizzy even, for a couple of seconds before he blacked out, surrounded by a bed of yellow petals.
When Aaron woke up it was to the sound of his alarm clock, telling him that it was seven so he needed to start getting ready for class. Aaron coughed lightly, glad to see that no petals came up. He might’ve even believed it was a dream if not for the wilted petals surrounding him. Aaron winced at the dryness of his mouth, he was likely dehydrated from all the crying he did yesterday. Aaron quickly dumped all the petals into his trash can, which couldn't contain all of them, but he was in a hurry. Aaron threw on a quick outfit and opened his door silently, doing his best to close it silently as well. He crept through the hallway, and saw no on in the living room so he attempted to sneak out the front door.
Just as he was opening the door a hand landed on his shoulder, and Aaron froze. He didn’t turn around, he knew who was behind him and had no intention of talking to the older man.
“From what Alexander told me you shouldn’t be out of bed, let alone going to classes.” Aaron winced at the formal tone, it was cold, so unlike the way he speaks to the other students.
“What did Hamilton tell you?” Aaron asked, shrugging the hand of his shoulder but still not turning around.
“Alexander told me that you had a nasty bout of coughing last night. You shouldn’t go to classes if you are sick.” Aaron felt the now familiar feeling of flower petals rising up, triggered by the way Washington emphasised on using Alexander's name. Aaron knew Washington never used his name, he was only ever ‘Burr’.
“I’m not sick. I’m fine.” He wasn’t, he truly wasn't fine or okay. He was dying and nobody knew. Aaron inhaled deeply at that thought, he was dying. Aaron realised that Washington was still talking, but he didn’t care. Aaron pushed past the larger man and ran into the small bathroom in the apartment. He slammed the door but didn't lock it, not having enough time to before rushing to the toilet. Aaron gagged and coughed harshly as he hacked up the mostly yellow petals. Some had red staining the edges, and Aaron was terrified. It wasn’t supposed to develop this fast. Someone opened the door but Aaron didn’t look, only focussed on breathing through the pain and petals coming from his throat.
Aaron looked at the doorway, standing there was Alexander and Washington. Both looked horrified. Alexander rushed to Aarons side, and when Washington tried to follow, Alexander pushed him out. Aaron was grateful, although it made him feel a little worse to see how Washington gave up instantly, knowing that if he was Alexander the man would have forced his way through to him.
“So, I suppose there is no friend then?” Alexander joked, referencing their conversation from the previous day. Aaron laughed through the tears making their way down his face. Alexander sat down next to Aaron, patting him on the back. Aaron felt a pang of guilt in his gut, he hadn’t wanted Alexander to get involved.
“So, what now?” Aaron pushed himself up, Alexander helped steady him and trailed behind him as Aaron walked out into the kitchen, grabbing himself a glass of water and sat down on the couch. Alex didn’t miss the way Aaron completely ignored George and hoped they could talk it out.
Aaron looked over at Washington and gestured for him to come over. “I developed Hanahaki for you.” He stated, his face flushed as he mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do. “I saw the way you treated all the other students with kindness and compassion, treated them like your own children. Yet you never spared me a glance, I never got any notes on my work, never compliments or criticisms. I was never called on in class. I worked my ass off to be good enough for you- but I never was.” Aaron laughed bitterly, tears welling up in his eyes yet again.
“Why am I not good enough? What does everyone else have that I don’t? Am I too serious? Why don’t you like me? Why am I not good enough?” Aaron begged, but Washington just sat their, shocked.
“Mr. Burr- Aaron- you are my student. I care for all my students equally- I just figured you didn’t want the extra attention.”
“It’s not extra attention if everyone receives it. Just tell me I’m right, that I’m your least favourite student and we can continue on. The flower will die and we can push past this.”
“You could die to son-”
“-I’m not your son! I never have been before and never will be!” Aaron interrupted his professor, not believing the audacity of the man. “You have never treated me with the kindness that a father would treat his son. I would kill to be your son, this disease should be more than enough proof that I want to be your son, but I will never be your son.” Aaron sobbed, before bending over. Aaron gagged, blood mixed with saliva dripped streamed down onto the floor as Aaron choked. Alexander rushed over, desperately trying to help Aaron in any way possible while Washington watched, shocked that he could have caused his student so much pain.
Suddenly a large fully bloomed flower fell from Aarons mouth, splattered blood covering the yellow carnation. Aaron’s knees buckled and he fell onto his knees, mouth open as blood and saliva dripped down in equal measures. Alexander looked on in horror as Aaaron gasped for breath. Just as Aaron had started to calm down, he started gagging again. Alexander hit him harshly on the back, tears started to flow down his face as well.
Aaron cried desperately as more flowers started to fall from his mouth, each one coming out with more blood coating it. Soon Aaron found himself unable to breath, he choked, wasting the breath he didn’t have. He felt like his throat was being torn apart by the flowers, which was true. Aaron hacked and gagged as a fully fledged flower was pushed out of his throat and onto the floor. Aaron choked on his own blood as he stared at the flower in horror, his own tears had started to wash some of the blood off. Aaron suddenly noticed he couldn’t breath, and panic overtook him.
Aaron choked, desperately trying to breathe as blood filled his throat and lungs, which had been torn apart by the flower that now laid on the floor. Aaron felt his vision start going fuzzy, and he fell to the floor, his vision going black. Aaron felt the blood spill out of his mouth, as the last tear fell and he fell unconscious.