Work Text:
1.
Class 1-A had an English exam. Kaminari felt like a rock had settled in his stomach as he looked at the first problem of the many that sat in front of him. He studied hard for this exam, like he always did. But his efforts did nothing, like they always do.
He reread the first problem multiple times and still couldn’t understand what it was asking him. Kaminari read each word slowly. When that didn’t help, he read one word at a time, and then slowly added the rest of the sentence onto it. Kaminari felt himself sigh when his tactics got him nowhere. He reread the sentence for what felt like the thousandth time, trying to wrack his brain for the answer. Kaminari felt himself begin to panic when he noticed that everybody else was almost done with the page, and gulped when he heard a few papers turn.
Kaminari decided to skip the first problem and come back to it later, but struggled with the second problem just like he did with the first one. He sighed slowly in frustration, running his hands through his hair and closing his eyes. Trying to calm down, Kaminari took some deep breaths and tried to search his brain for the information he had just reviewed the night before. He sat there in silence and darkness for what felt like hours before his eyes flew open to the sound of more turning pages.
Kaminari’s eyes darted down to his empty test, and felt the frustration building in his body and the fog building in his brain. He could almost physically feel his brain trying to retrieve the information for the test. Time was ticking away as Kaminari twirled his pencil in his hand. He eventually gave up and guessed on the answer, chewing on his bottom lip as he moved onto the second question.
Kaminari eventually fell into some kind of rhythm, albeit slow, and got about halfway through the first page of the test with at least some confidence. More pages turned as Kaminari approached the end of the first page, and he felt his stomach flip with anxiety as he watched everybody else continue with ease.
Present Mic calmly announced that they had twenty minutes left for the exam. Kaminari abruptly paused and set his pencil down, flipping the pages and skimming the rest of the exam. He had only just finished the first page of five. Kaminari chewed his lip more to bite back the tears he felt pricking at his eyes, and slowly picked up his pencil again.
Kaminari thought he might as well do what little he could in the time he had left, taking deep breaths to prevent the tears in his eyes from falling.
A 10 was better than a 0 , he told himself.
2.
Class 1-A had a reading assignment in literature class, and were told to discuss it among the group they chose. Naturally, everybody gravitated towards their friends. Kaminari preferred to hang around his friends anyway because they were more patient with him when he needed more time to process things.
The classroom immediately exploded into conversation. Overlapping chatter, laughing, turning pages, and heated debates could be heard in every direction. Kaminari began to feel a bit overwhelmed from the sudden increase in noise, but tried to focus on what his friends were saying regardless.
“Why do we need to discuss this sentence, anyway?” Sero questioned, pointing to the paper that gave them guiding questions for their discussion. “The door’s color isn’t that big of a deal, is it?”
“I don’t know, dude, this is why I hate literature,” Kirishima laughed, shaking his head. The background noise made it hard for Kaminari to follow their conversation. “It’s just a red door.”
“I mean, it was an interesting read,” Mina shrugged. “I just got kinda lost.”
“Everything made sense up until about the fourth paragraph,” Shinsou hummed with a slow nod.
“Yeah! Thank you!” Mina exclaimed, pointing at Shinsou before looking at everybody else. “I’m so glad it wasn’t just me.”
“Yeah, there was a lot of complicated language in there,” Kirishima hummed in agreement. Kaminari nodded along, understanding where his friends were coming from. He had read the short story twice and still couldn’t grasp the plot.
“You guys are just dumbasses,” Bakugou scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I understood it fine.”
“Rude,” Mina stuck her tongue out at him. The rest of the group laughed except for Kaminari, and they all looked to the next question.
Kaminari felt his heart drop, and suddenly the room sounded much louder than it did a few seconds ago. The lights were blinding, and everybody was too close and too loud. Kaminari began to bounce his leg up and down, taking a grounding breath in attempts to calm himself down.
Everyone’s voices were muffled yet deafening, and Kaminari had a strong urge to go to the bathroom to isolate himself so he could calm down. Everything in the room was becoming too much. His shirt felt like it was suffocating him and his body started to twitch involuntarily. He just needed to get out .
“Kaminari? You okay?” Shinsou asked gently, helping bring Kaminari back to reality.
“Yeah! I’m fine, just, uh..” Kaminari paused, swallowing before continuing. “It was just kinda hard to focus on the reading so I don’t really know what’s going on.”
“Yeah, I get that, it was kinda boring,” Sero nodded with a small laugh. “I started skimming it after the second paragraph just so I could get it over with.”
“You sure, baby?” Shinsou asked aside in a quiet voice so as not to get everyone else’s attention. Shinsou placed a gentle hand on his forearm. Normally, Kaminari would appreciate his boyfriend’s sentiment, but he was too anxious to comment on it. Instead he nodded slowly, his eyes beginning to lose focus as they locked on his clasped hands that sat on his lap.
The classroom just felt like it was growing louder and more overwhelming. Kaminari felt his chest grow tighter as tears started to prick at his eyes. He took another slow, deep breath to try to calm down, but it didn’t help much. Panic continued to swell in his chest and Kaminari had no choice but to drown in it.
Kaminari focused his eyes on his hands, moving his fingers slowly so he had something real and familiar to concentrate on. He tried to use the distraction to block out the noise, but to no avail.
Kaminari just had to hold on to the small hope that the sensory overload would pass eventually.
3.
Kaminari felt himself buzz with excitement as the math test Class 1-A took a few days ago was passed back to them. It was unusual for Kaminari to be eager to see a pending grade, but he had studied strenuously over the last week in hopes to pass. He still felt the residual exhaustion from the two respective all-nighters he pulled, but still felt his hands shake with anticipation as they hovered over the paper that sat on his desk.
Taking a deep breath, Kaminari closed his eyes and flipped the paper over. Right away, his eyes darted to the top. In the upper right corner right beside his name sat his grade: a 42. His face fell and his heart dropped to his toes.
‘42?’ Kaminari’s own voice screamed in his head as he vigorously flipped the pages. His eyes scanned the test left to right, right to left, front to back, and back to front. He could’ve sworn he did everything right. Each little red mark felt like a dagger in his chest. He bit his lip and swallowed as he heavily analyzed each and every mistake.
Next to every error sat a correction that made no sense. Ectoplasm asked the class if they had any questions about their grade, and Kaminari fought to keep his hand down. Sure, a 42 wasn’t out of character for him, but it didn’t make sense this time; He worked so hard to pass. What else did he need to do? Sell his soul to the devil?
Throughout the discussion, Kaminari’s eyes never left his test. Each time he flipped his test back over to the front, his eyes shifted towards the 42. This time, he noticed something new; Kaminari was so enamored with his unexpected 42 that he failed to spot the “See me.” written beneath it.
“See me.”
Kaminari felt his face drain of all color and tears began to form in his eyes. He flipped through his test again, slower this time. Each time he reread every problem he messed up on, Kaminari grew more and more defeated.
Kaminari sighed heavily, his eyes laser focused on a pencil spot on his desk to avoid crying in front of all of his friends. After taking a slow, deep breath, he flipped his test back over to the front page. He glared at the 42 until class drew to a close.
Before Kaminari could find a way to leave, Ectoplasm politely called Kaminari over to his desk. With a gulp, Kaminari nodded and grabbed his bag. He clutched his sad excuse for a test and made his way over with his head down.
4.
Aizawa rewarded Class 1-A for their hard work in the last few weeks by giving them a study period. They were even allowed to group with and talk to their friends as long as they weren’t being distracting. The Bakusquad made their way to Kaminari’s desk as everybody else scattered to their friends, the room turning into a few circles of desks.
The room exploded into noise, as expected, but Aizawa merely rolled his eyes and resumed slowly grading papers. Kaminari straightened his back, subconsciously masking as his friends drew near.
“Do you think we should actually use this study period to study for our chemistry exam tomorrow?” Mina suggested, starting to reach for her bag.
“That’s tomorrow?” Kirishima and Kaminari questioned at the same time.
“Maybe studying is a good idea,” Shinsou pointed out with a lighthearted laugh. Kaminari pouted, but grabbed the chemistry study guide when everybody else did. If the smartest kids in the class were studying vigorously, Kaminari felt like maybe he should be, too.
As soon as Kaminari set his study guide down on his desk in front of him, a stabbing pain pulsed through his head. It disappeared as quickly as it had shown up, almost giving him whiplash. Kaminari sighed, rubbing his temples as he tried to ignore it. Whenever he got really stressed, he would get those kinds of headaches. A wave of exhaustion crashed through him, and Kaminari had no motivation to actually read the chemistry study guide let alone do it all.
Kaminari was listening to his friends working through the study guide half-heartedly, slowly twirling his pencil and staring at his name written at the top of his paper. This past week was stressful in terms of class materials, and Kaminari had been busting his ass just to barely stay afloat. The burnout was hitting him all at once and he wanted nothing but to lie down, cry, and take a nice long nap.
Kaminari slowly moved his head down until his chin hit the desk. He crossed his arms in front of him, pressing his face to his forearms. His friends were so captivated by the chemistry problem they were working on that they didn’t notice or comment. A heavy sigh left Kaminari’s lips, and he dropped his pencil. His half-lidded eyes lost all focus, gazing at something unseen in the distance.
Kaminari sighed again, his eyes refocusing only to fill with tears. He concentrated on keeping them all inside, his vision growing more and more blurry as the seconds passed. Kaminari took a quiet and hopefully unnoticeable shaky breath in, slowly exhaling and using every ounce of energy he had to maintain his composure.
Kaminari took note that this was their second class of the day, and he was already completely defeated. Letting his eyes close, he took a moment to mentally prepare for the long day he was about to have.
5.
Kaminari opted out of studying with his friends after school like he always did, unusually exhausted from the day’s events. He told them he just wanted some down time before dinner, and they were all sympathetic about it. He sighed as he set his bag down and kicked his shoes off at his door, dragging his feet on the floor as he made his way to his bed.
Kaminari lay down with a grunt, sighing again as he got comfortable and began to stare at his ceiling. He let his brain power down and allowed himself to zone out, not really having the energy to do anything else. Kaminari was aware of the homework he needed to complete, but was powerless to move as he continued to fixate on the popcorn ceilings above him.
Emotional and physical exhaustion zapped him completely, leading Kaminari to almost fall asleep multiple times. His eyes would involuntarily close only to snap back open a few seconds later. Each time his body would jolt, and Kaminari was starting to grow annoyed with it. He grunted as he shifted his weight a little, his body and mind awake again now that he had moved some.
Kaminari’s eyes refocused on the ceiling with new energy, but he still didn’t have enough to do his homework. He had enough to lazily recall the day's events mixed with a few daydreams, and his brain entertained itself by doing that until it ran out of scenarios to think about. Hours flew by and Kaminari was blissfully unaware of it all. He was grabbing each and every brief thought that passed through his brain and following it until it faded away, only to repeat the cycle again moments later.
All thoughts ceased abruptly, and Kaminari was tossed back into reality. His body jolted with a brief rush of adrenaline upon realizing that it was dark outside. His phone that sat beside him, which was on silent, had shown 20-something missed texts from his friends in the group chat they had. Nervous that he had missed something, Kaminari read them all only to find it was some commentary on a TikTok that Kirishima had sent.
Kaminari eyed the bag that sat by his door, groaning internally as he stood up to grab it. He pulled his homework out of it, set his bag down beside his bed, and leaned his back against the headboard. Moving his knees closer to his chest, Kaminari placed the packets on his thighs, readying his pencil. He wrote his name on the top, and shifted his eyes to the first problem on the page.
His eyes trailed over the words slowly, moving from sentence to sentence without retaining any of the information. It took more energy than Kaminari had in him to answer the first question. He sharply exhaled, trying to force himself to get it done. Whatever answer he ended up circling was probably wrong, but he didn’t care.
His limbs turned to lead and his arms slowly dropped to his side, his pencil rolling off the side of his bed. Kaminari’s legs fell and his homework slid down his thighs, toppling over onto the floor. Kaminari couldn’t bring himself to care. He leaned his head back against the headboard of his bed, his eyes honing back in on the popcorn ceilings.
‘Homework shouldn’t be this hard,’ Kaminari’s own voice spoke in his head, sounding completely crushed. ‘Why is everything this hard?’
Kaminari’s eyes fluttered shut, holding back the tears that formed in them. He exhaled slowly, gliding his back down the headboard until he was laying flat on his back. His lip quivered rapidly, and it took everything he had to not break.
Kaminari begrudgingly accepted that his homework just wouldn’t get done, and he opened his eyes again. His vision was blurry and his head was foggy with emotional exhaustion. A yawn left Kaminari’s lips, presenting as a reminder of his physical exhaustion.
He decided that a nap couldn’t hurt, and succumbed to sleep.
+1
After school, Kaminari tagged along with his friends as they all walked back to the lobby. He stuck close by his boyfriend, his tranquil and stoic appearance calming to him. Shinsou laced his fingers with Kaminari’s, and Kaminari couldn’t help but smile as they entered the dorm’s lobby.
They all made their way to the table they usually sat at, and Kaminari noticed that almost the entire class was there studying too. He sighed as he sat down, pulling out his homework with everybody else. Shinsou gave him a gentle smile, and Kaminari made an effort to return it.
Kaminari had a stress headache all day and had really bad brain fog, but he knew his homework needed to get done. Despite all of his efforts, as usual, his grades continued to slip. He needed to get a hold of them before they were unsavable. The thought of his grades made his head throb, but he grabbed his pencil and started on his math homework anyway.
“Ugh, I hate trig,” Kirishima grumbled. “I couldn’t give two shits about triangles.” That comment made Kaminari laugh a little despite the distress he was feeling.
“What, am I gonna need to find the sine of A for a hero mission or something?” Kirishima scoffed, shaking his head. Bakugou rolled his eyes and nudged Kirishima’s shoulder.
“Whether you need it for being a hero or not doesn’t matter, Shitty Hair,” Bakugou grumbled. “You need this class to graduate.”
That phrase was one Kaminari would probably never forget. ‘You need this class to graduate.’ His parents shoved it down his throat, and the voices in his head chanted it each time he choked on a quiz or exam. Kaminari felt his head begin to throb again as stress started to overcome him.
“It’s dumb,” Kirishima pouted. Bakugou scoffed.
“As long as you get a 70, who the hell cares?” Bakugou shook his head, returning his attention to his own work.
“I don’t even have a 70,” Kirishima whined, his posture deflating.
“That’s because you don’t listen to me,” Bakugou pointed out sharply, not looking in Kirishima's direction.
“I do, babe, I swear,” Kirishima defended. “I just don’t know what the hell’s going on in this class anymore.” A chuckle moved throughout the table before they all fell into silence again.
Kaminari paused at the third or fourth problem, his whole body freezing as his face contorted in confusion and distress. His head hurt and it felt so full; He couldn’t untangle his thoughts and he couldn’t get himself out of his mind. Kaminari’s chest felt tight and he felt himself quickly growing agitated.
It was the same problem he always had; He couldn’t understand what the problem was asking him, no matter how slow he read it or how many different ways he interpreted it. Everybody else flew past him, moving onto the second page when Kaminari wasn’t even halfway through with the first one.
“Are you okay? I can feel you thinking from here,” Shinsou joked lightly, poking Kaminari’s forearm. Kaminari didn’t budge, and merely raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement.
“Kaminari-” Shinsou began to speak again, but Kaminari cut him off.
“I’m fine, I’m just trying to read this,” Kaminari’s voice was oddly sharp and angry, his expression skewed in extreme concentration. Shinsou raised his eyebrows in surprise but was able to grasp what was going on without much thought.
“Do you want me to help you with it?” Shinsou offered kindly, his calm voice a harsh juxtaposition to Kaminari’s frazzled inner dialogue.
“I’m not an idiot, I don’t need help,” Kaminari spoke in a strained tone, his face betraying his words. Shinsou didn’t say anything more, just giving Kaminari some time.
“Why am I not getting this?” Kaminari spoke again moments later, his voice calmer. “You guys are all on the third page already.”
“That problem took me a while, too,” Shinsou looked over at his boyfriend’s paper, spotting the problem he stopped at. “There’s a specific way to do it; it’s really dumb.”
“I wanna figure it out myself,” Kaminari ran his hands through his hair, sighing heavily. “I wanna be smart for once in my life.”
Shinsou blinked dumbly, unsure of what to say for a minute. “Just because you don’t understand a homework problem doesn’t mean you’re stupid, Denki.”
“Alright, but what if you don’t understand anything ?” Kaminari’s voice wavered a little bit, and his face shifted from one of anger to one of despair. “No matter how hard I try, I don’t get any of this.”
“Everybody else gets it,” Kaminari continued, glancing at and gesturing to everybody else’s homework. “I ask so many questions and I work so hard, yet I’m still getting D’s and F’s.”
He paused, staring at his homework like it had come alive. Kaminari felt that familiar feeling of ‘I’m going to cry in half a second’ and before he could pause to compose himself, the tears came flying down his cheeks.
“I pulled two all-nighters for that one math test a month ago and I still failed,” Kaminari’s voice wavered again and his lip quivered violently, tears splattering on his homework. “What else do I need to do?”
“I’m so tired,” Kaminari whined helplessly, a sob wracking his body as he hid his face in his hands. “I can’t do this shit anymore.”
“You’ve been really stressed this past month, feeling burnt out is natural,” Shinsou assured him, his voice low and soothing. It only made Kaminari want to cry harder.
“You’re doing your best with what you have,” Shinsou continued, gently rubbing Kaminari’s shoulder. “You need to be nice to yourself.”
“Yeah, man, I’ve seen how hard you’ve been working,” Kirishima’s voice matched the volume of Shinsou’s, and Kaminari could picture his face despite not being able to see it. “You need to take it easy.”
“I can’t take it easy, I’m on the edge of failing,” Kaminari cried pathetically, his voice muffled by his hands. “My best isn’t good enough; I need to do more.”
“Maybe you guys are right; maybe I am just stupid,” Kaminari mumbled, sliding his hands down his face to reveal his puffy eyes. He fixated on the homework paper in front of him, studying the tear splatters to avoid eye contact.
“Kami, none of us think you’re stupid,” Mina commented, her voice mixed with sympathy and disbelief. “We just mess with you; it’s what friends do with each other.”
“I’m sorry if we ever made you feel stupid,” Mina spoke sincerely, her eyebrows turned down and a frown pulling her lips down. Kaminari exhaled sharply as he wiped his face with his hands again.
“You’re really fucking smart,” Mina continued earnestly. “Like, for real.”
“Don’t patronize me,” Kaminari mumbled, rolling his eyes.
“No, I’m not doing that, I swear,” Mina assured, leaning across the table to make direct eye contact with Kaminari.
“You’re super smart,” Mina nodded rapidly, getting enthusiastic now that Kaminari was looking at her.
“You know a lot of shit about literature, music, and art,” Mina counted on her fingers as she listed them out. “And you have an oddly big vocabulary; it’s cool but kinda freaky.”
“Yeah, and I’ve seen how you interact with people,” Sero nodded, adding onto Mina’s list. “Your social intelligence is insane; I don’t know how you can adapt to social situations so well.”
“Okay, now you’re just flattering me,” Kaminari mumbled, feeling a bit better but still getting the vibe that they were all just saying things to make him stop crying.
“No, deadass,” Sero said in a firm voice. Kaminari pressed his lips into a line, unsure of what else to say.
“You’re plenty smart,” Shinsou assured Kaminari in a fond voice, gently rubbing his shoulder. “The school system is just unfair.”
“Yeah, I remember reading a fun fact somewhere about how back in like, caveman times, that having ADHD was a biological advantage,” Kirishima chimed in, his eyes lighting up. “It said something about not being able to sleep at night and watching for predators, and how you can spot prey really fast or something.”
“I never thought about it like that,” Kaminari laughed lightly as he entertained Kirishima’s thought for a moment.
“You may be dumb, Sparky, but you’re not an idiot,” Bakugou spoke up after awhile. Kaminari was caught off guard, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
“Awww, listen to you, being nice,” Kirishima cooed, playfully punching Bakugou’s shoulder. Bakugou scowled at that and the whole table laughed.
“But yeah, dude, you’re not stupid,” Sero assured after their laughter died down.
“Well, it’s hard to feel any different when I keep failing everything,” Kaminari mumbled in a resigned voice.
“Well, like I said earlier, the school system isn’t very fair,” Shinsou sighed. “There’s almost no accommodations for neurodivergent students.”
“The stigma around ADHD doesn’t make it any easier, either,” Shinsou added. Kaminari frowned, but nodded in agreement.
“Getting into UA is challenging enough but getting passing grades at a prestigious high school, whether you’re neurotypical or not is very impressive,” Shinsou complimented with a soft smile. “You should be proud of yourself.”
“Do you want me to cry again?” Kaminari chuckled, leaning onto Shinsou’s shoulder. He felt his face heat up when Shinsou planted a kiss on his forehead.
“Blech, gross,” Mina teased. Kaminari stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed, shaking her head as she leaned back in her seat. A wave of laughter passed through the table, and even Bakugou joined in briefly.
“So, do you want me to help you with that one?” Shinsou questioned again after the laughter faded away, gesturing to the paper.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about the homework,” Kaminari laughed sheepishly. “Surprising, I know.”
“Actually, about that,” Kaminari spoke again, the sheepish smile on his face growing.
“Could we maybe… take a break?” He asked hesitantly. “I have a headache.”
“A break sounds nice,” Sero agreed. Everybody else looked at each other and nodded.
“I want a soda,” Mina spoke suddenly, standing up and making her way to the kitchen.
“Can you grab me one?” Kaminari called after her.
“I want one too!” Kirishima exclaimed.
Mina ended up bringing sodas for everyone at the table, and they all sipped on them as they started some casual conversation. Kaminari felt himself zoning out a little bit once they started bringing up TikTok memes, but he was thinking about the encouragement everybody had given him earlier.
It felt good to know that they didn’t think he was stupid despite his grades. It was a nice change of pace from the stressful past weeks Kaminari had endured.
He hated crying in front of people because he didn’t want them to think he was weak, but his friends didn’t say anything about that. They just let him cry, and told him that he’s actually smart regardless of what he thought. They did nothing but comfort and encourage him. Kaminari felt a smile come to his face as he kept those things in mind, one sentence sticking out over the rest.
‘You’re not stupid.’