Work Text:
“Woohoo! Logan, welcome to the party!” Roman said as Logan joined the Zoom call.
“This is not a party,” Logan said, unamused. “This a meeting between the production crew heads so we can properly plan the Theatre Banquet.”
“Come on, nerd, relax! Linda said she had it all figured out!”
“Since when has Mrs. Murray ever had anything “all figured out” in her entire life?” Logan asked, Roman going slightly quiet.
“Like, dude, were you even in the musical? Fuck, I didn’t sleep for three days because of that shit,” Virgil said, laughing.
“Imagine being the student head of costumes!” Remus chimed in. “Like, fuck, I love Debbie and all, but do all ten of the Hot Box Girls really have to have four different costumes? Each??”
“Oh shit, yeah Remus was a nightmare,” Roman said, laughing.
“I know! I didn’t get hugs or kisses or anything during that time!” Patton said, pouting. “Or now!!”
“Don’t worry babe, I’ll make it all up tenfold once this shit is over,” Remus said with a wink.
Patton wrinkled his nose. “Gross,” he said, sticking out his tongue slightly.
“If you two don’t stop, I will literally leave the call right now,” Virgil said, deadpan.
“Yeah, keep it down, I’m trying to watch Cats (2019),” Janus said, finally speaking up and taking himself off of mute. “Your guys’ horniness is almost worse than the movie’s.”
“CATS (2019)???” Remus yelled so hard they heard it come from Roman’s mic as well. “Can I watch?”
“Only if you promise to shut up about Rum Tum Tugger being the hottest cat,” Janus said.
“He is!” Remus said.
“Okay, but like, why not even Mr. Mistoffolees? He’s obviously the best,” Roman said.
“Objectively, he does have the best design,” Logan piped up.
“Why is everyone here horny for cats?” Patton groaned, letting his head fall into his hands.
“How dare you insinuate that I am one of them. Or a horny,” Virgil said, shaking his head.
“I am not stating that I believe Mr. Mistoffolees is attractive, I am merely saying--” Logan said, a blush coming to his face.
“Oh honey, you wanna fuck a Jellicle, just admit it. You’re no better than the rest of us!” Remus said, grinning.
“I think you’re literally only talking for yourself here,” Virgil said.
“Speak for yourself, Virgil,” Janus said, raising an eyebrow.
A beat of silence.
“Janus, do you wanna fuck a Jellicle?” Roman asked.
“All I’m saying is that I have a type,” Janus said, shrugging. “And that type is Magical Mr. Mistoffolees.”
“Where am I in this type??” Roman asked, looking and sounding very offended.
Janus shrugged. “I simply find one of you more attractive, is all.”
“And it’s me, right?” Roman asked. “You find me, your boyfriend, more attractive than a Jellicle from Cats (2019)?”
Janus looked away from the camera, seemingly turning back to the screen where Cats (2019) was playing.
Roman squawked, making the Offended Princey Noises™ they had all learned to love, as Patton said into his hands, “Why is this my life?”
“I’m asking the same questions as you, Pop Star,” Virgil said, watching Remus cackle, Janus smirking while presumably still watching Cats (2019), and Roman still looking deeply offended.
Needless to say, the Theatre Banquet planning could wait another day.