Chapter Text
Traitor.
There had been a time in Zuko’s life when even thinking bad about the Fire Nation had been unacceptable for him. He’d admired Fire Lord Ozai in every possible way. At the war meeting, Zuko had accused that general of betraying their loyal soldiers. He’d really believed it had been the right thing to do – spoken up for the ones who couldn’t. Because Zuko couldn’t have allowed betraying the Fire Nation’s citizens.
It had been proved to him that he’d been wrong.
Ripped out of his honor he’d wandered through the world trying to redeem himself in Father’s eyes. Zuko had never said it out loud but he’d thought he’d been doing good… After the injury had healed (still too early according to the medic and Uncle) he’d started training – firstly with his swords and when he could be around the fire again, he’d started his firebending training. And besides, he’d been commanding the entire ship (with Uncle and Jee’s help) which wasn’t that easy; he’d learned some ship chores and navigating techniques. Zuko had seen so many places, he’d been sure that when he’d finally come home the information, he had could be useful in some way. So even if he hadn’t captured the Avatar, he’d hadn’t been useless.
But then the Avatar had returned and all of this no longer mattered.
Zuko hadn’t thought that breaking into Pouhai Stronghold was something traitorous… He’d been thinking only about the fact that if Zhao had delivered the Avatar to the Fire Lord, Zuko wouldn’t have any chance to came home. He would’ve been banished… forever. He hadn’t worked against the Fire Nation! Maybe he’d been egoistic and hadn’t put the good of the Fire Nation above his own desire… but he hadn’t tried to help the Avatar in any way. He hadn’t worked against the Fire Nation…
After three long years, he’d been so close… Soo fucking close…
If only Zhao hadn’t seen those swords… The man even when dead had managed to made Zuko’s life more miserable. If not the swords… He wouldn’t have any more evidence and he wouldn’t have written to Father…
And here he was…
Declared a traitor – deservedly, but he didn’t like to admit it – somewhere in the Earth Kingdom limping from a tree to tree with pulsing pain in his temples and in the rest of his body as well. With no hope of coming back home. Zuko doubted Father would ever forgive him for being such an embarrassment to their bloodline. Maybe the Avatar would be enough to redeem himself… But now it was a bad moment to think about this.
Zuko stumbled over a root and barely supported himself over the nearest tree. Resigned, he looked over his shoulder, he could still see his previous rest-point. Zuko made one more limped-step, teeth clenched from stabbing pain in his thigh, and leaned with his good shoulder over the tree. There was no point in sitting down – standing up again would require way too much effort. He growled frustrated but regretted it immediately when too much air escaped his lungs too quickly and his bruised ribs screamed.
As soon as he managed to stand up after the Avatar left him near the colony Zuko started his run away – or limp away. The Fire Nation was so close – colonies weren’t exactly like home, but the familiarity was enough to make Zuko’s heart hurt – and he had to flee into the enemy’s territory. But again – escape wasn’t the right word to use…
His head hurt and his vision swayed a little sometimes when the move was too rapid. It could be either exhaustion or a concussion, but he’d had a couple of concussions in his life and it had felt different, so he preferred to stick to the more optimistic version. But Zuko wasn’t optimistic about his ribs though; they had to be fractured ore at least one of them. Breathing hurt too much, so it couldn’t be only bruised. Bruises were all over his body in the places when rocks that had been thrown by non-benders hit him. But those bruises weren’t that bad though. The worst one was on his middle-thigh where the bender hit twice. Zuko couldn’t touch the place and every step equaled the feeling of being stabbed. At least the bone hasn’t been broken because he could still somehow moved his leg.
He has been walking for around four hours. The sun slowly started to disappear behind the horizon and Zuko didn’t like it. Feeling rays on his skin was helping – maybe not physically but feeling warmness in his chest was the only pleasant thing at the moment so he didn’t want it to disappear. For Zuko’s peace of mind, he was still too close to the colony. He hoped that he remembered his geography lessons well enough and he wasn’t heading in Fong’s base direction… This time the earthbenders would put him in chains or simply kill since he wasn’t a valuable hostage anymore. More likely the second option… Unless the colonel would be involved…
The time for resting was over. The forest became less dense a couple of stops ago and Zuko hoped he would left it soon. He had to finally sleep at some point, and he didn’t want to do it in the forest, unable to climb somewhere safe. The first steps were challenging. He had to get used to the pain once again and swallow the nausea it caused. Zuko already invented a rather effective limping-tactic that relieved his most aching spots.
Zuko tried to clear his thoughts and fully focus on staying upright but sooner or later his mind wandered to Colonel Huong.
The man Zuko did not understand – in any way.
Firstly, he had been actually nice to him and it hadn’t been a trick (most likely). He’d been reading him a play, for Agni’s sake! And he hadn’t used Zuko’s pathetic display of weakness against him – he’d acted like it was fine. And he hadn’t killed him for burning his arm (the smell of burned flesh hadn’t been helpful when he’d been trying to collect himself on the cell floor). Spirits… the colonel had actually promised him medical help after this all! What was wrong with this man?
Zuko didn’t trust his memories from after ‘the rocks incident’ fully – they were too ridiculous to be real. In one moment, he had been curling on the rough floor and in the other he had been leaning over the colonel’s side… Had the man carried him there? And had the colonel asked him those weird questions? The more Zuko thought about it, the more humiliating details he remembered.
And the worst thing was that Zuko had felt safe then – half delirious from pain and shock but the colonel’s arms were safe.
Huong was a father. Zuko has never felt safe with fathers.
He didn’t understand anything. Fathers weren’t supposed to put up with a child’s irrational behaviors, or disobedience, or not-being-good-enough... Like it was nothing. Of course, Zuko wasn’t Huong’s son but that made everything even worse. Why did his enemy act like that?
Huong had something irrational in him… just like Uncle.
Zuko shook his head – which wasn’t a good idea – and scolded himself for absorbing his thoughts with some stupid earthbender. He should’ve been thinking about how to make things right in the future, not overthinking past events that, again, hadn’t got any logical explanation.
Zuko’s limp-step finally lead him to an open area. There was a shallow canyon, but it became deeper with distance. Zuko didn’t want to enter it. The descent was gentle, but he couldn’t be sure he would be able to find an approachable way out. He wasn’t in any shape to climb any slopes. There was the other way alongside the cliff. Theoretically, he could use it but there was only a narrow path between the cliff and the hill.
The canyon, the narrow path, or coming back to the forest…
Zuko chose the narrow path. He hoped he would find some cave in the hillside he could sleep in. Exhaustion mixed with pain was starting to win over his abnegation. So, he limped towards the path, praying it wouldn’t get narrower than it already was. Since he had no trees to lean over, he would have to keep his balance by himself. But it was fine. He had to keep moving.
He had to keep moving.
Zuko was doing fine.
His leg slowly started to kill him, but he could manage the pain a little bit longer… There had to be some cave or a little wider piece of even, not so exposed ground for him to rest. But the path became narrower when the sun hid behind the horizon and Zuko could barely see it. He considered lighting a small flame but decided not to. If someone spotted him firebending he would be dead.
Zuko’s steps were already slow but he’d slowed even more trying to carefully choose the ground to step onto. He tried to lean on the hill side as much as he could when the path narrowed to a two-feet span. In case of eventual fall, Zuko didn’t see the bottom of the canyon. He didn’t know if he walked above an abyss or just some ditch. He preferred not to know.
When he made another step with his bad leg the ground slipped.
And Zuko was falling.
White pain enlightened his vision when he was violently rolling down. Air had been knocked out of his lungs completely with the first impact on his bruised chest. He didn’t have any control over his body, he was just rolling down, and everything hurt, and he was dizzy, and he couldn’t catch on to something to prevent the fall…
Zuko didn’t dare to move. Everything somehow ended – even the pain that he’d become so familiar with. He wanted this peace to last a little longer… Was he dead?
There was a distant voice like someone was speaking from behind a thick curtain. “Shit… Is he dead?”
Then his senses suddenly came back with all the pain and all he could do was squeeze his eyes tighter and groan. Zuko didn’t dare to move even a bit. Everything was already radiating with sharp pain he didn’t want to know how much worse would it became if he moved. It was highly possible that he was buried under something, his limbs bend in strange positions, but he didn’t want to move…
Zuko moaned when he tried to inhale and decided that it wasn’t worth an effort to try again. He felt like he would throw up when he moved his head even a little. He wasn’t even sure if he laid face up or down. At this point, he didn’t care…
“Shit! He’s alive! Shit… shit… Gimme some light over there!”
“You sure he’s alive?” Suddenly the world became brighter, even with his squeezed eyelids.
“Just bring that damn torch!”
Something was lifted from his chest. “He’s got creepers all over him!” someone complained and Zuko felt something being pulled from under him. “Boy, you there?” Something pulled on his leg and he whimpered when he moved his thigh. “For fuck’s sake, Shan! Careful.”
And suddenly it came to him that someone was here. Someone was almost touching him when he was defenseless. Zuko jerked awake with a louder groan and supported himself on his good elbow. His whole body screamed but he desperately tried to crawl away from those people.
“Stay away from me!” Zuko intended it to be a shout but it turned out to be a whine.
The person with the torch jumped startled but the other one was standing still. He could only see their shadowed figures. There was a fire source. In the last resort, he could use it, but it would reveal him as a firebender…
“Whoa! Easy there, Avalanche Boy,” one of the shadows was a woman. She stood on his right too close to him. The one with the torch stood slightly behind her. “We want to help.”
“Do we?” questioned the boy with the torch.
“How nice of you, Shan, that you volunteered.” She grabbed the torch from the boy’s hands and its light blinded Zuko. He wanted to cover his eyes, but it would require too much movement, so he only turned his head, scarred side away from the fire. The woman took a step backward. “Come on, help him up. You can’t lay here all night, Avalanche Boy.”
The boy sighed and moved forward. “Do some bedroom-rodeo with Moosha, your motherly instincts are showing off.”
“Fuck you, you dirty bastard!”
“I’m not a bastard and you know this.”
The woman swung her torch and growled. Zuko flinched at the sudden movement but none of them seemed to notice. “With my holy sister… not likely,” she admitted. “Just shut up and help him.”
Zuko struggled to follow their conversation - which didn’t make any sense to him - when the boy tried to grab Zuko’s hands and pull him up. His reflex was too slow to prevent what came next…
A loud cry escaped Zuko’s mouth and echoed through the canyon. The boy jumped back and Zuko pressed his arm to his chest and moaned. “Back off!” Zuko snarled through clenched teeth.
“He’s rude. I’m not helping rude people,” said the boy.
“He’s injured, you dumb idiot,” fumed the woman and patted the boy over his head. Then she crouched next to Zuko, still keeping a small distance though. “We don’t have a stretcher, boy. You have to help us if you don’t want to lay here all night. Your shoulder is a no, as I see,” said the woman eyeing him. “What about the other one?”
Zuko’s throbbing temples slowed his thinking but it was pretty clear that he hadn’t got any other choice than did what that the two wanted him to and praying they weren’t going to turn him in… Either to the Earth Kingdom or the Fire Nation…
“Mhmm…” Zuko wheezed through clenched teeth, already preparing himself for coming agony.
The woman turned to the boy that crossed his arms, looking impatient. “Shan… Gently this time.”
“Whatever,” he mumbled and crouched on Zuko’s right. He turned his head even if it equaled a wave of nausea. “You ready? On three then… One, two, and… three…”
The boy, Shan, grabbed his good shoulder and with some pained moans helped him to sit. After that, he put Zuko’s arm over his neck and started to lift him upright. Zuko tried as much as he could to muffle his moans and whimpers, but it didn’t work. Black spots danced all over his vision.
“Huh, you aren’t so heavy,” said Shan, supporting most of Zuko’s weight while he was clenching his side with his bad arm. The sharp movement and being partly lifted by the higher man, made his ribs shift painfully and his breath became shallow. “Thank you, would be nice but… yeah, whatever.”
The woman lifted the torch in a way that most of its light was on Zuko. He turned his head, the scarred side away from the light, and squeezed his eyes. “Did you travel with someone else?” asked the woman.
Zuko slowly adjusted his sight to the light and looked at her. She had a massive bun on her head, but it was all he could see in this light. “N – no.”
“Then you can come with us. We have a camp nearby,” she said, not waiting for Zuko’s response. “You’ve got a name, or you want me to keep calling you Avalanche Boy?”
Zuko wanted to say that he didn’t want to come with them, that they shouldn’t invite him anywhere, that he didn’t have anything to pay them back. It all could be a trap – at least then he wouldn’t have to think about paying back… Why did the women insist on taking him with them?
The woman was patiently looking at him. Waiting for his name… Zuko didn’t know many Earth Kingdom names, especially now when his head was buzzing, and his thoughts were slowed by pain. “I’m… I’m… Lee. I’m Lee,” he gasped. It seemed to be more common than ‘Huong’.
“And I’m Heren,” said the woman. “And the brat is named Shan.”
Hearing that Shan violently pointed his finger in the woman’s – Heren – direction. “I’m no longer a kid! Stop calling me that!” Apparently, Shan liked gesticulating while speaking… what ended in jolting Zuko’s body. Zuko swallowed the first moan but when Shan shrugged a pained whimper escaped his lips. “Oh… Shit, sorry man,” he said sheepishly.
“Let’s head to the camp. I’m fucking freezing here,” complained Heren.
“You are the one with the torch!” exclaimed Shan but this time – thankfully – he didn’t shake Zuko.
Heren turned on her heel and smirked. “After me boys.”
Shan gripped Zuko’s wrist so his arm wouldn’t slip from his shoulder and made the first step. Without a bit of awkwardness, Shan put his other arm around Zuko waist to support him even further. Zuko tensed at the contact but he couldn’t do anything about it, because without Shan he would’ve simply collapsed. So, he put as much effort as he could to try to walk a bit by himself, nonetheless, he was mostly carried by the taller figure.
After a couple of steps, he focused more on just stopping himself from making noises. Agni… he was so exhausted. And the canyon was just pure darkness except for the torch. How far was this camp exactly?
“You good there, Lee?” asked Shan. He had to felt that with every meter he had to carry more of Zuko’s weight. Zuko panicked tried to try to walk by himself again but failed and gasped quietly. “You want to rest for a moment?” Shan asked.
Hearing that Heren stopped and turned to them. Zuko was suddenly panicked because of all the attention he didn’t want. “No,” he gasped – it didn’t sound very convincing. “We can keep moving.” This short sentence ran him out of breath completely and he prayed so they won’t ask anything else.
The woman pointed with her torch to the right. “The camp is just around this corner.”
Zuko nodded and they moved forward. As they approached the corner, some light began to cast shadows onto rocky walls and Zuko heard muffled voices. His heart began a panic cacophony, and he felt rising fear. This wasn’t good… Being at the mercy of these two was bad enough… His experience with being outnumbered in the Earth Kingdom was bad.
There was a shallow open cave, with a blazing firepit in the middle, and two men sitting around it. They had had a conversation earlier but now their full focus was on Zuko.
“Who is he?” asked the younger of them, which didn’t mean he was young. He was a grown adult with a bulky posture, so characteristic for earthbenders… The other one looked very old, he had a haggard posture, but his gaze was sharp and judging.
Heren stepped forward and kissed in the cheek the man that asked a question. “The Avalanche wasn’t in fact an avalanche… Lee decided to roll from the cliff,” she said with a smile, but the man didn’t look assured. Then Heren turned to look at Zuko and she froze.
Zuko stiffened.
It was the first time they saw him in full light. It couldn’t have been possible to look more obviously Fire Nation than him – pale skin, dark hair, and golden eyes that were clearly noticeable in the warm firelight. Was it that obvious? He tried not to panic, but the old man’s gaze sent shivers down his spine. The probably-earthbender and Heren were looking right at Zuko’s scar and he just wanted to disappear. With wide eyes he looked at them, judging who would attack or do something first…
Heren shook her head and came back to a neutral expression. “Shan, help him to sit,” she said perfectly calm like the previous three seconds of petrified silence didn’t happen. “Over there,” she pointed on the back of the cave – somewhere where he would be the most trapped, “would be the best.”
Zuko’s fear escalated, he was still held by Shan so he couldn’t do anything other than moving along with the man. His throat was clenched by panic and he only waited for those people to snap at him for simply existing – like it already has happened in the past.
Shan lowered him onto the ground and a pathetic moan escaped his lips when his ribs shifted, again. Shan muttered apologies and released Zuko’s arm. It was the first time they could look at each other in the full light. Shan had to be in his early twenties, his blonde hair tied into a small ponytail at the back of his neck…
Shan rapidly stepped back, rubbing his neck, and looking straight at Zuko’s scar. Zuko was close to throwing up. It felt like gazes of all four of them were ripping holes in his entire body and he just wanted to shrink. The anticipation of all this was the worst like they couldn’t just already –
“You wanna tea, Lee?” asked Heren smiling tentatively at him. Well, it wasn’t the question he’d expected. “It’s lukewarm but it shouldn’t taste too bad.”
Zuko eyed all of them to check if he wasn’t hallucinating the proposition. Shan sat next to the old guy and smiled at him, but it looked forced. The old guy frowned, and his expression didn’t change a bit. The might-be-earthbender was looking at him stern expression but he was no longer focusing only on the scar.
“Lee?” repeated Heren kindly and Zuko almost jumped, his heart speeded again.
“Um… Yes. I – I would like to,” he said automatically. The terrible rasp covered the tremble in his voice.
Heren poured a cup and handed it to him. Zuko reached for it with his good arm… it was shaking. He was awfully aware that everyone saw how he couldn’t take the cup without spilling the tea on his fingers. Zuko gipped the cup in both hands and looked at the ground. “Thanks,” he murmured.
“No problem,” Heren said lightly and started talking to the rest of them about some marketplace. Others joined the conversation, and the full attention wasn’t longer right on him. But it was obvious that Shan and the adult looked at him suspiciously once in a while, and the old man kept glaring at Zuko every time he raised his head a bit.
Zuko didn’t know what it all meant. He didn’t know why did they help him. And he didn’t know if they wanted to keep helping him after they saw how he looked. Zuko had learned the hard way that being Fire Nation didn’t end well anyway besides its borders. There was no way they recognized him… right? No, no, no…
Zuko had no idea what to do with his limbs and he awkwardly bent his good leg closer to his chest. Panic has always made him self-conscious. He couldn’t let himself lost his mind. Anything wasn’t sure yet. Zuko tried to follow their conversation but it was meaningless. They didn’t even ask him what did he do here. It was too suspicious… He felt how his breaths were getting out of his control…
He forced himself into half-meditative breathing – a compromise between a proper technique and his bruised chest. Every four breaths he took a sip of the tea – he repeated the sequence on and on. It seemed to work. Zuko hasn’t raised his gaze since he started, because he was positive that the old man’s glare could freak him out once again.
Zuko knew he couldn’t let himself fall asleep with this bunch of strangers around him. He could manage one more day without a proper rest…
But then his eyelids became heavy, and every blink was a struggle… He closed his eyes only for a moment, but the darkness was so comforting that he forgot he was supposed to open them again…
The cup fell out of the stranger’s hands and their conversation suddenly stopped. They looked at each other tensed.
“You added something into his tea, my love,” said Moosha his tone not accusatory but not approving either. Heren simply nodded. “He won’t wake up?”
“Not until the morning, at least,” answered Heren.
Laohun rubbed his hand’s stump, looking at the sleeping figure. “He looks Fire Nation.”
Nobody denied it.