Chapter Text
Mickeys eyes open wide as if electricity is coursing through his body, shocking him awake. Ian snuggles closer in behind him, the sudden jolt from Mickeys briefly disturbing him but not enough to wake. He can’t relax or drift off back to sleep in the arms of his husband because his brain has other things in mind. Today is the day, it has to be. It’s time. He doesn’t want to go, but obviously a part of him says he needs to, so he can close that chapter of his life and start fresh with Ian. Mickey turns to his bedside table, picking up his phone to check how early it is. 6am flashes at him. The gates open around 7.30am. He lays there for another forty five minutes so Ian can keep sleeping, fighting with his inner thoughts on whether or not he really has to go or if it’s just some stupid form of guilt seeping in, telling him that deep down, he is still family in some fucked up sense of the word.
Whatever his body is trying to tell him, his head and his heart knows the truth. Ian is his family, the Gallaghers are family, even before they he and Ian were married, they cared more about Mickey than all the Milkovich's combined, well, besides Mandy, but even she has her moments.
At 7am Ian opens his eyes, the sun shinning on his face from the small gap between the curtains.
His body now taking in what is happening around him, his husband already fully dressed for the day which is the first thing to set Ian off.
“What’s going on?”
“I have to go visit him.” Mickey wasn't going to beat around the bush, he wanted to just come out and say it, confirming to himself that he was actually going to go.
“You want me to come with you?” Mickey loves that Ian didn’t ask him why he was going, he just accepted that this is what Mickey needed to do.
“No, no, it’s okay. This is just something I have to do on my own.” Ian nods
It’s one of the things he loves about his husband, he always understands him, never questions him when he is in this state of mind. But still, a part of Mickey feels guilty for telling his husband that he would rather go alone.
It suddenly hits Mickey, now at the age of twenty six, that for almost half his life, Ian has been by his side. He knows what Terry has put him through growing up, what he did to him, did to them, and even now, knowing Terry can’t touch either of them, he is still wanting to protect Ian, shield him away from Terry, which is why he wanted to go by himself.
“Call me if you need me to come by.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Ian crawls out of bed, only needing to take one step in their small room to reach Mickey.
“Hey” Ian puts his hand on Mickeys chin, he tilts it up so that Mickey is looking into his eyes.
“I mean it Mick. I’ll drop everything and come straight to you, if that's what you want, what you need, I’ll be there.”
Mickey doesn’t respond, he doesn’t have to, Ian just knows. He looks down, no longer able to hold Ians gaze and gives him a small nod to show that he heard him, that he understands.
Ian kisses his forehead. Now that he is up he decides he might as well get dressed, prepare for the day, even though the morning didn’t turn out quit like he was hoping. He was expecting longer in bed with far less clothing on.
Mickey parks Debbie’s car on the side of the curb, he gets out and starts walking. It’s not cold, shoving his hands in his pockets, it's more of a way to occupy them, otherwise he'd find himself fidgeting with his fingers. Realising that he doesn’t have any recollection of driving here, it’s like his body was on autopilot while his mind analysed his thoughts and emotions. Did he speed, did he run a red light? Gone, from the moment he left the house and arrive here, his memory is wiped clean.
He knows where to go, he has been here more times than he would have liked at his age. When he called this morning to check what area Terry was in, he didn’t even have to ask for directions. Walking on the footpath adjacent to where he parked, Mickey follows the path as it leads him to his destination. Internally arguing with himself as to why he was actually here, Mickey didn’t even have a chance to decide that this was in fact a bad idea, having the opportunity to turn back to the car, get in and drive straight back home to Ian.
He stopped, it was too late, there he was.
Terrance Milkovich
1969 - 2020
That was it. That’s all it said. No beloved Son and husband. No quote to remember him by or a in memory of, just his name and dates. Honestly it was more than Mickey feels the bastard deserves, if it was up to him, he would have dumped him in an unmarked grave but that would have left more questions than he was ready to admit.
“Fuck you, you piece of shit. Even in death you have to ruin the lives around you.”
*****
4 weeks earlier
“You heard from Mandy yet?”
Ian is running around the house making sure everything is neat and in place for when Mandy arrives, excited to finally see her after all this time.
“Yeah, she texted. Should be here in 30 minutes.” Mickey is coming down the stairs still looking at his phone. He looks up and sees Ian wiping the table down, again.
“Ian relax. It’s not like she hasn’t been here before. Honestly this is the best this place as ever looked, I don’t know why you’re stressin’ out?
For a brief second Mickey considers the fact that Ian might be on the verge of a manic episode but he forgets that thought quickly when Ian answers.
“I don’t know, maybe because she is my best friend and I married her brother without either of us even telling her or inviting her and now she is about to visit us and will probably rip my dick off as punishment.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Is it too late to cancel?”
Ian punches Mickey in the arm, Mickey laughs, enjoying how nervous Ian is acting.
As if the sound of her name summoned her, the Gallagher front door swings open, presenting Mandy as if this was her own home . Her hair is still blonde and her make up looks more natural than either of them have ever seen her wear it before. She is in a pair of wash out jeans with ankle boots on and a sweater which looks more comfy than it does warm, based off the bare shoulder that is on display.
“Well are either of you fuck heads going to help me with my bags or do I have to do everything myself like always.”
The smiles that reach both Ian and Mickeys face is enough to light up the whole kitchen if the power suddenly went out. Ian rushes over first and engulfs Mandy in a hug that sweeps her off her feet, spinning her around the lounge room, both giggling like a bunch of teenagers. She lets out a squeal of joy as he puts her down. Mandy looks at Ian, smiling with joy, but the change on her face happens quicker that a storm that rolls in during a winter in Chicago. Mandy throws a right hook punch into Ians stomach, hard enough to wind him but not nock him to the ground.
“That’s for not tellin’ me you were marrying my brother.”
Mickey chuckles as he takes the few steps towards his sister, bringing her into a warm embrace. He hasn’t seen Mandy since he went to jail after the whole Sammi situation. It feels good to be around her again, hugging each other tight, its like no time has passed at all and yet too much time that they can never get back. The moment between them is broken as she brings her right knee up and aims it at his groin.
“What- the fuck” Mickey can barley get the words out as he leans over, cupping himself in the hopes that it will ease the pain.
“And that’s for not inviting me ass face.”
“Why the fuck did I get a kick in the balls and all Ian got was a punch in the gut?”
“Because I know you are the bottom so Ians dick is more valuable. Consider it a late wedding present, which, since I wasn’t invited, you’re lucky you’re even getting one.”
Mickey and Ian straighten up as they collect themselves, both able to breathe again.
“We get it okay, fuck. How many times do we have to say we’re sorry.”
Mickey is still holding himself as he tries to walk off the burn.
“One more time and you’re taking me out for dinner tonight and paying.”
Mickey looks towards Ian as if to say he is ready to throw Mandy out on the street. His husband puts his hand on Mickeys shoulder to calm him down and turns towards Mandy.
“Mandy, once again, I am so, so sorry for proposing to your brother without letting you know or without asking for your permission.”
“What the fuck, permission, I’m not some virgin bride that needs-” Ian cuts Mickey off before he can continue with his rant.
“We are also sorry that we didn’t think to send out an invite and most of all we are sorry that it took us this long to see you because we both love you and have missed you dearly. I mean, we probably wouldn’t have hooked up if it wasn’t for you.”
Mandy quickly wipes a tear away from her cheek and acts like the apology was only some what acceptable, arms still crossed over her chest, which was more for show than a representation of how she felt.
“Damn straight. Always remember Mick, he was my boyfriend first.”
“Whatever bitch.”
They all come together for a hug, letting out a few laughs as the tension passes between them.
“Alright this is too much like an episode of fucking Opera for me, so I’ll get your bags, Ian go get some beers from the fridge, I need a fucking drink after that nice warm welcome.”
They break apart, Ian and Mandy heading towards the kitchen as instructed, Mickey collecting his sisters bags. He’ll complain black and blue about being a slave for his sister, she doesn’t have to know how much he has missed the banter.
It was like they have never been apart. Hours had passed, empty bottles covered the kitchen table as the sun began to set outside.
“Wait, he did what?”
“Yep, the fucker was so determined to stop the wedding that he burnt down our reception venue.”
“Shit! And you both made it out unharmed?”
“Well Mickey was ready to kill him so I may have punched him a few times to calm him down.”
“And I may have bit him so he would let me go.”
“So, define unharmed.”
Mandy shakes her head and chuckles.
“I mean would it really be a Southside wedding if bruises weren’t involved.” Mandy had a point.
Mickey thinks about telling Mandy the real reason why he hadn't invited her to their wedding, he knew she’d bitch about it being a piss poor excuse but Mickey had dealt with a pissed off Mandy before, he could handle it. Truth is, Mandy got out, she is free, living a life outside of the Southside and he worried that bringing her back for their wedding would somehow make her feel obligated to return home, wanting to stay close to him, be a normal family, not that normal could honestly be used to describe the Gallagher or Milkovich bloodline. Most of all though, he didn’t want Terry knowing where she was. Terry was a threat to Ian and himself and he wanted to keep it that way. Mandy no longer had to worry about him. Unsure what Terry would have done had he seen Mandy leading up to that their wedding, Mickey knew he made the right choice.
She would argue how hypocritical his actions were because here she is, back in the Southside with Terry still hanging around, still an issue, but Mickey knew that Terry trying to stop something from happening compared to Terry just being angry are two very different people. Terry would have done anything to prevent Mickey from getting married that day, threatening Mandy would have been one of those options. Now, Terry is just pissed off that he lost.
They laugh at the joke but deep down the notion that this is the life they have been dealt hits them harder than it has before. An awkward silence falls across them all. As Ian is about to ask how the drive down was in hopes of filling the silent void, Debbie walks in all frantic, smelling like spoilt cheese, sour milk, with a crying Franny on her hip.
“Oh thank god you’re home. I had to pick Franny up from day care, something about a temperature, then on the way home she threw up all over me and if I don’t shower I’m going to throw up next. Can you give me a hand? Maybe give her a look over, make sure everything is okay.”
Ian jumps up, goes straight for his niece, not even flinching at the smell. Franny rests her head on her uncles shoulder, needing comfort and reassurance. Ian whispers sweet, calming words into her ear to help sooth his niece.
“Hey firefly, are you not feeling well? How about Uncle Ian has a look, hmmm.”
He walks up stairs, Debbie not far behind. Just when Mickey thinks it's only himself and his sister left in the room, Debbie pokes her head back down the stairs.
“Mandy you’re back!”
“Yeah, just for a few weeks. Check up on the newlyweds.”
“Good to have you here, we’ll have to catch up, girl talk.”
Mandy doesn’t even have a minute to respond before Debbie is up the stairs again. They hear the water running in the shower, that bathroom door quickly closing shut.
“So Debbie has a kid?”
Mickey nods and takes a sip from his beer.
“Yeah, Franny. Little red was like, 15 or some shit, got knocked up. Baby daddy split, then died in action. Debs has been doing the whole single mum thing since.”
“Ian seems good with her.”
“Since when is Ian not good with kids.”
“Trying to tell me something there Mick?”
Mandys smirk says it all.
“Fuck no. We haven’t even been married a year, we still live in this house with the numerous people that just waltz in and out, Frank included. And, oh yeah, lets not forget our murderous father that would just love to hear he is now a granddad thanks to his gay ass son.”
“See while you were saying all that, all I heard was not yet.”
Mickey gives her the finger, hoping she'll drop the subject. The last thing he needs is Ian to hear him talking kids with Mandy, it will set off a whole conversation Mickey is not ready for, yet.
“Well whenever it happens Mick, you’ll make a great dad. You both will. Don’t doubt that just because you have Terry as a father.”
He looks down at the condensation coming off his beer bottle, acting like its the most fascinating thing in the room. Mickey allows his sisters words to wash over him, in that moment it hits him, the realisation of why he has been so reluctant to be a father himself is because he never had one that he looked up to, that he could model himself after. Somehow Mandys words calmed him, almost to the point of being excited at the thought of one day having a little girl or boy calling him Dada. Mandy doesn’t comment on the slight blush that arises on Mickeys cheeks or the way he gets this little twinkle in his eye as he sits there silently, hopefully, daydreaming about a day to come.
“Here we go firefly. Why don’t you go see Uncle Mickey while I get you some dry crackers to ease that tummy of yours.”
Ian hands Franny over to Mickey, she instantly clings onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist, curling into his neck and snuggling into him like a safety blanket. Ian had cleaned her up, changed her into a pair of grumpy cat pj’s which always make her smile. They’re Franny’s favourite when she is feeling unwell, claiming that they remind her of her grumpy Uncle Mickey.
“Did you throw up on mum today firefly?”
She nods without moving her head away from his neck.
“It’s alright. I always say that you never know how much someone loves you until they vomit on you. Just ask your Uncle Ian over there.”
“Mick that was one time and I was adjusting to new meds.”
“Whatever makes you feel better Firecrotch. All I know is, my crotch was covered in chunks of pineapple from the pizza you ate that night and I swear if I didn’t love you I would have decked you. You try combing vomit out of your pubes next time and we’ll see how you like it.”
Mickey would never hold what happened against Ian, however the look on Ians face every time he brings it up is worth it. Ian has told his husband numerous times to be careful of the stories he shares around Franny, however she seems to love the honesty that comes out of her uncles mouth, even if it is followed by an array of foul language.
Mandy spits beer out of her mouth at the mental image that is now playing in her head. It’s not going to be easy to forget the sight of Ian vomiting on her brother while he was going down on him. The cringe and shudder she lets out is enough for Ian to continue the story.
“As I recall, I did warn you that I was feeling nauseous."
"And as I recall, I told you to sleep it off, but someone was a horny bastard."
"Thankfully it came up before anything else came up, if you get my drift.” Ian winks at Mandy
“Message received, lets change the topic before I have nightmares.”
Franny suddenly realises someone else besides her uncles were in the room with her. She slowly turns her head just enough so she can look at Mandy without letting go of Mickey or lifting her head from his shoulder.
“Firefly, this is your Aunty Mandy. She’s my sister.”
Mandy gives her a little wave.
“Firefly, that’s a pretty nickname. Who gave you that?”
“Uncle Mickey gave it to me. Says it’s cos my hair is bwight wed and lights up the sky like a fwiefwy.”
Mandys heart melts. Growing up, the only side of her brother people got to see was either a pissed off Mickey or an angry Mickey. To the untrained eye they were similar, but one had more chance of hitting you with his ‘fuck’ knuckles than the other, she knew which one ended with a beat down. Sitting in the Gallagher house, all these years later, seeing this beautiful young girl cling to her brother while she explained that he was the one that gave her the nickname was a side of Mickey everyone deserved to see. Mandy always knew that Mickey showed his affection through nicknames. If he felt comfortable enough and didn’t want to show how much he cared, he’d always give that person a nickname and act like it was an insult rather than a compliment. Ian knew all about that, along with Debbie and now her adorable little girl.
“I loved chasing fireflies when I was your age, I remember how they could light up a nights sky as if the sun was shinning. Uncle Mickey picked the perfect nickname for you because your beautiful red hair is just like their lights.”
“Just like Uncle Ian’s hair.”
“Exactly! Your Uncle Mickey has a soft spot for redheads.”
Mandy winks at Mickey, his scowl says fuck you but the slight smirk he is trying to hide says she isn’t wrong. Ian walks back with some dry crackers, Franny happily takes them from his hand while still holding onto Mickey, happy to stay in his arms while she eats.
Debbie stumbles back down the stairs, showered, hair still damp and dressed for comfort. Pleased to see Franny settled, even more pleased that she was eating something that wasn’t coming back up. She grabs herself a beer from the fridge, surprised to see there was still some left.
“She is beautiful Debs. You’ve raised a wonderful little girl.” Sitting opposite Mandy, the compliment brings colour to her cheeks.
“Thanks. Honestly, she is the one good thing I did right in my life.” Deb admires her daughter, watching as Frannys eyes slowly drop while a half eaten cracker is in her mouth.
“So where are you staying while you are down?”
“Just at a hotel near by, work is covering it as an expense even though I’m not working.”
“Are you still-”
Mickey didn’t want to say escort. Ian had told him in Prison about the time he helped Mandy out. Mickey refused to live his life with regrets, but the few he had, Mandy was easily one of them. At the time when she was dating Kenyatta, the word coward comes to mind when he remembers how he just let that asshole hurt his sister. He should have stopped her from leaving with him, talked some sense into her, maybe then she never would have found herself in a situation where she sold herself to help pay the bills. He reminds himself that his sister is stubborn and would have left no matter what he had said or done. He tells himself that he too was struggling with a wife he hated, a kid he couldn’t look at and a boyfriend who he was watching constantly for any changes in his moods or behaviour. The guilt settled once Ian had assured him that she was at least happy, safe. He couldn’t deny that he was pleased to hear those words while describing his sister, however he was still her big brother, she never should've felt unsafe in the first place, that’s why they are called regrets.
Looking back now, Ian too felt somewhat to blame, if it wasn’t for his Bipolar, Mickey would have been paying more attention to Mandy rather than keeping an eye on Ian, watching for mood changes and sleep patterns. When she called up needing help to discard a body, Ian didn’t even blink an eye, it was the least he could do and if it turned out the guys death was Mandys fault, he would have helped dig the grave.
“No, no. I ah, met someone, through that job and he offered me a position at his company. I started off as his secretary, cliche, I know, but I worked hard, now I travel to different cities, make sure they are up to speed on the release dates for new products, talk with the test groups and send feedback to the manufacturers.”
“Test groups? What products does this company make?”
“Female self pleasure devices” Mandy mumbled the words so softly Mickey wasn’t sure he heard correctly.
“Self pleasure- You mean dildos? You work for a fucking Dildo company?” Mickeys eyebrows shoot up. His loud voice startles Franny, everyone freezing until they notice her settle back into Mickeys neck.
“Not just dildos but yes, okay. Woman have needs and sometimes they need assistance.”
“Jesus fucking christ.”
“If it makes you feel any better I brought you our latest release which became number 1 on the market within a week.”
“Unlike some, I like my dick attached to a person thanks, I’m good.”
Ian couldn’t help but smirk, knowing full well that they have a box full of toys hidden in their room upstairs which include various items, some of which being dildos. Mickey wasn’t lying though, they only ever bring out the toys when Ians meds start effecting his ability to perform. Although Mickey always reassures Ian that he doesn’t care, reminding him that his mental health comes first, while the sex comes second, happy to wait for the medication to adjust, Ian hates knowing that he can’t take care of his man. It’s in those moments that Ian sits back, happy to watch while he slowly takes Mickey apart, inch by inch, thrust by thrust. There is nothing he loves more than seeing Mickey whither at the way Ian drags the dildo out of him at a sufferingly slow pace only to push it back in quicker than Mickey can take in a breath. The beads of sweat that Ian licks from his neck while tweaking at his hard nipples is enough to bring Mickey to the edge. Moments before he comes, Ian moves down, swallows Mickey whole, taking every inch all the way to the back of his throat, not allowing a single drop of cum to escape his mouth. Yeah, Mickey prefers Ians dick but sometimes, sometimes he will make an exception.
Mickey can read his husband, his eyes focused on a random spot, indicating his mind is elsewhere, lost in a memory or thought. From the way colour has creeped up his neck and cheeks, Mickey is positive he is thinking of the fun they had a few months back, shortly after the vomit incident, with a much more satisfying ending. Not wanting to get a hard on while his niece was in his lap, Mickey notices that Franny had finally fallen asleep and could now move her to bed.
“Want me to take her?”
‘Nar it’s alright, don’t want to move her more than I need to, I’ll just take her up to bed.”
Mickey stands up to leave, slowly walking up the stairs hoping that the movement won’t stir Franny awake.
“He is so good with her. I’ve never seen that side of him before, not even with-”
Mandy stops herself. It’s been years since she thought of Yevgeny, not knowing how the name would effect Ian or Mickey, she decides not to continue. She always wondered the full story to that part of her brothers life. One minute Mickey is marrying this whore he knocked up, the next she has a drunk Ian confessing his love for her brother, talking about how they have been sleeping around for months. It never made sense. She knew there was more to the story than what her brother was letting on, especially when she caught Mickey crying the day Ian came to say goodbye to her. Deep down Mandy had always hoped that one day he would be comfortable enough to discuss it with her, one day.
“So how’s everyone else?”
Ian knew who Mandy was asking about. She said everyone else to sound polite, interested, but really she only wanted to know about one other Gallagher besides Ian.
“Fiona is still travelling. Last I heard she was in Australia hooking up with some surfer. If it’s any consolation she wasn’t at the wedding either.”
“It’s not but continue.”
“Carl is joining the police force. I’m not sure if having a cop in the family will work for us or against us, Mickey seems to oink every time Carl is in his uniform so I guess that says enough. Liam is doing well in school, top of his class in everything, I swear that kid has more smarts than Lip.”
Ian notices the slight adjustment in Mandys body language when she heard him say Lips name.
“Lip has a son. His name is Freddie, he live just down the road with Tami, his, girlfriend, baby mumma? I actually don’t really know their status, I’ve learnt to stay out of it. He is also 6 months sober after recently relapsing.”
Mandy deflates as she learns of Lips situation.
“He’s in AA?”
“Yeah. Things turned bad for awhile while he was in college, then they got worse and then he realised, or maybe we helped him realise that, we already have a Frank Gallagher, we don’t need another one in the family. So he got some help, he did rehab, he did the steps, got a sponsor and now here we are.”
“I’m fucking starving.” Mickey belches as he walks back down the stairs, looking over to the table to see if anyone else is feeling the same.
“Pizza?”
“Did I not say that you owed me dinner and that you were paying?”
“Okay, so I’ll order you a pizza all for yourself, bitch. Don’t think I’m taking you to some classy restaurant just because your sugar daddy has heightened your tastebuds.”
“Whatever, as long as it has extra cheese.”
“You know you can stay here tonight rather than rush back to the hotel. Carl is working nights and Liam is at a friends so my old room is free for the taking.”
“Thanks, if I drink anymore beer I may just have to take you up on that.”
“Please, I’ve seen you drink three times this amount and then wrestle some bitch to the ground for calling you a slut”
Mandy gives him the finger, Ian just laughs. Ian has missed this. Missed the banter between the Milkovich siblings, the feeling of having family together and all under the one roof. Everyone is growing up, drifting apart, starting their own family and Ian loves that. There is nothing, besides Mickey, that brings joy to his life than seeing his siblings happy, but he isn’t going to lie and say he hasn’t noticed the drift.
They are lucky to hear from Fiona once or twice a month, sure she spent her teens and most of her twenties taking care of them but now it’s as if they are an after thought. Ian did in fact invite Fiona to their wedding, when she called to say she couldn’t book a flight in time, some piss poor excuse if you ask him, part of Ian felt like it was Fionas way of saying she still didn’t approve of him and Mickey. So much has happened since he went to prison, more than Fiona will ever know. She never knew their whole story and because of that, Ian knew she would never fully understand what they went through to get where they are today, what they endured, what they survived, what they had to struggle with. But that was for them to know, that wasn’t anybody else’s business and they shouldn’t have to know it in order to accept their love.
Lip is off playing house with Tami. Ian recalls back in the day when Karen Jackson said she was pregnant, he watched Lip take charge, step up. From that moment Ian knew Lip would always be a phenomenal father, he thinks it’s all Lip has ever wanted to be. Lip took care of Ian, Carl, Debbie and Liam like they were his own kids. Although Ian was only a year younger than Lip, somedays he was his brother, others he was the father figure he turned to for advice.
Debbie was constantly busy with work or Franny, Ian was proud of her. Adjusting to his meds and going through a breakup made it hard for Ian to fully support Debbie during her pregnancy, but every day he is blown away when he sees Franny, knowing that Debbie did that. She sacrificed and fought tooth and nail to raise Franny the right way, giving her all the things they never had growing up.
So yeah, he’s happy for his family and he misses them dearly, but he knows one day soon he and Mickey will be joining his siblings by extending the Gallagher family tree with kids of their own.