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Blue Sargent crawls beneath her skin.
Gansey’s away in Washington, at some political thing with Adam. Noah is off – somewhere. The ether, wherever ghosts go in their free time. The only person around is Ronan and she can’t exactly rant about her pent up sexual frustration to him.
Still, sitting in angry silence with him was better than being sent knowing looks every three seconds at home.
So here she was, angrily stomping up the stairs to Monmouth, her hard-soled shoes making her arrival even more pronounced than it already was. She didn’t bother knocking, just letting herself in.
“Gansey ain’t here, Sargent.” Ronan called from the sofa. He was shirtless – annoyingly – and sprawled everywhere, all too long limbs and black ink.
“I’m perfectly aware.” Blue snapped. Ronan’s head whipped toward her, his smile dangerous and all too delighted at her foul mood.
“Don’t tell me you actually want to hang out with me.” Ronan said.
“You’re better than Orla.” Blue replied, stalking over to the sofa and pushing his legs off one end so she could sit down.
He put a hand to his chest in mock flattery and kicked his legs onto her lap. “You really know how to flatter a boy.”
She scowled and they lapsed in silence. She watched Ronan resume whatever game he had paused, pretending that the air wasn’t as charged with hostility as it was.
Finally, when he reached a cutscene, he paused it and turned to her. He had one eyebrow raised knowingly and he was smirking.
“I take it back.” She groaned, throwing her head back so it hit the sofa cushion. “You’re not worse than Orla.”
She wasn’t going to completely insult him by calling him worse than Orla. Yet. Ronan laughed once and nudged her stomach with his foot.
“You’re vibes are ruining my game, Sargent.” He said, putting down his controller and crossing his arms. “Spit it out.”
“I don’t think you want to hear that.” She said, mildly embarrassed.
He smirked. “If I didn’t want to hear it, I wouldn’t have asked.” His face dropped into something disturbingly like concern. “Get it out so I don’t have to stew in your fucking hormones.”
She glared at him for a long while. He stared right back in the unnerving way he usually did.
“Fine,” she finally relented. “But not here, not when he-”
Ronan cut her off with a snort. Her eyes had flicked toward Gansey’s door.
“He’s not going to come charging out, Maggot.” He said, but he stood up and offered her a hand in an un-Ronan like way. She got to her feet and stomped out of Monmouth before him.
___
Ronan drove them to Nino’s.
“The music there is loud as shit, no one will hear you.” He said, as an explanation.
Blue didn’t say anything. Her face was already flushed from the conversation they were going to have. Part of her (admittedly, it was a very small part) thought that it was kind of nice of Ronan, but, then again, if Ronan could see how pent up she was, could everyone else? Jesus, what if Gansey knew?
The BMW jerked to a halt and Ronan was out in a flash, already walking towards the open door to Nino’s. Blue followed more slowly, loathe to be seen alone with him in public.
“Come on, asshole! I don’t have all day.” Ronan called from just outside the door. She shot an acidic glare at him but picked up her pace.
When they were settled in their seats and Ciliana had finished glaring at Blue from across the diner, Ronan said. “Alright. Out with it then. Spill all your little secrets.”
Blue buried her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I’m talking about this, to you of all people.”
He kicked her sharply in the shin. “You haven’t said shit yet, man, and I’m the only person you’ve got.”
She kicked him back, but with less vigour. “God, this is so embarrassing.”
“It’s me or Orla.”
“I’d take Orla over you right now.”
“If you want, I can drive you home.”
She lifted her head just enough to glare at him once more. “Just leave me here.”
“I knew it.” He said smugly.
She kicked him again, to make up for the lack of enthusiasm last time she did it. “Where should I start?”
“How about you start with who this all about?” Ronan suggested.
“You know who it’s about.” Blue said, voice muffled as she hid behind her hands. She couldn’t look at him or his stupid face when she admitted this.
“Do I?” Ronan replied with mock surprise, “I don’t remember. You’re going to have to tell me again – oh, wait, you never told me in the first place.”
“God, Ronan-” she choked out. “Gansey, it’s about Gansey.”
Just saying his name made her fill up with warmth and caused her cheeks to flush bright red.
Ciliana brought over there drinks. Blue lifted her head just enough to watch her brush an arm over Ronan’s bicep. He shrugged it off disgustedly, then, once Ciliana had stomped off into the kitchen, he took out a flask and poured some clear liquid into their iced tea.
“Ronan!”
He lifted an eyebrow. “You want to do this sober?”
“You’re driving!” She said, but took a glass anyway.
He shrugged. “We can walk back.”
They tapped their glasses together and drained them like it was a competition. Ronan smacked his glass down first, only a few seconds before Blue. The drink made her throat warm as it went down.
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. He said, “So, Gansey?”
“God,” she said, “Gansey.”
They exchanged looks. She wasn’t entirely sure what they meant, but it was some sort of mutual understanding.
“So,” she said, “Adam?”
It was her turn to watch him flush. “You know about that?”
“Only because Orla can’t keep her mouth closed.” She reassured him, not really sure why she was doing it, “She had a psychic moment.”
Ronan processed this for a moment, and then he smiled. It was nothing like his usual smile. He looked happy and, for once, soft around the edges.
“So,” he said, “What is it about Gansey? I mean, I get the whole... thing, but you two are obsessed with each other.”
“And you’re not obsessed with Adam?”
“You’re avoiding the question, bastard.”
She rolled her eyes and circled a finger around the rim of her empty glass. “He’s just so... him. He tries so hard to understand my principals and opinions and stuff. He’s so enthusiastic about the hunt for Glendower, he’s so extra with it and the journal and everything. Don’t tell him, but even his stupid boat shoes are endearing.” Ronan snorted, “it’s just one of those things I can’t explain.”
“I know what you mean.” Ronan said, “Now tell me everything you want to do to him.”
Her faced burned again, but she didn’t doubt him. “Promise not to hold it against me?”
He, very solemnly, he leaned forward and held out his pinkie finger. “On my life.”
Blue hooked her own finger around his and they shook once on it. “Ok, Jesus I can’t believe I’m doing this.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Honestly, I just want to kiss him. You know about my curse, right?” Ronan nods, looking slightly sympathetic. “I want him to be able to use his mouth on me without dying. I want him to be able to push me against a wall and kiss me so hard my mouth hurts. But he can’t, even if he wanted to.”
“Oh, he wants to alright.” Ronan snickered. “You should hear the sounds he makes when he dreams.”
Blue went bright red and he laughed.
She imagined Gansey moaning her name in his sleep and flushed at the spike of arousal that jolted through her.
“Damn, Sargent, that really got you worked up, huh? We’re in public.” Ronan said, watching her amusedly.
“Fuck you.” She spat, though it lacked any proper spite.
“You can continue, by the way. I know that’s not all you want. You’re definitely a kinky bastard.”
Blue closed her eyes, but she just saw Gansey again and that didn’t help. “I want... God, I want him to completely break me.Fuck – ok. I want to be completely powerless underneath him. Handcuffs, ropes, whatever. I just want him to be able to control me.”
This seemed to genuinely shock Ronan, “You? Little Miss Feminist want to willingly give control up to a man?”
She pressed two fingers to her temple. “Don’t even. I know it’s hypocritical.”
“Who could’ve seen this coming?” Then he snorted, “ha, coming.”
Blue rolled her eyes. “Real mature, Ronan. It’s your turn now, I’m done talking.”
Ronan shifted in his seat uncomfortably and draped his jacket across his lap.
She’d never admit this to him, but Blue realised that this had helped in a weird way. She might still be hot and bothered, but she didn’t feel all welled up and ready to spill at any moment. She’d slowly released the tension that she’d held close for the past week or so and spilled it out to Ronan of all people. Ronan, who had, for the most part, been understanding and didn’t make fun of her or question it.
“Well, Adam.” Ronan said. His eyes had gone far away. “I like his accent. He tries so hard to hide it, but s’cute. And the way he looks after he’s just finished at the garage, all hot and sweaty smelling like grease and car oil.”
Blue raised an eyebrow at that, but Ronan didn’t notice.
“When he’s on the ley line,” he continued, “and he’s got his eyes closed and he looks so alive. Fuck, when he’s being possessed by Cabeswater and his eyes go all weird like that and he looks like he could kill you and not even worry about it.”
Ronan lapsed into silence, idly tugging on his leather bands, eyes still far away.
“What do you him to do to you, Ronan?” Blue prompted. She agreed with most of the things Ronan said, maybe apart from the Cabeswater thing. But then the image of Gansey, blank eyed and powerful looking snapped into her mind, and she understood it. She shook her head slightly to dismiss the thought.
Ronan made a slight groaning sound in the back of his throat, “Fuck, Blue. The Cabeswater thing – I want him to pin me down and fuck my fucking brains out which is a bit weird because I created Cabeswater, but it’d be so fucking hot.”
This thought had not occurred to Blue, but she decided to let it slide because the mental image was pretty hot.
Ronan’s voice was thick when he spoke again, “Jesus, I want him to push me into a dark closet at one of Gansey’s dumb political functions and fuck me against the wall with a hand over my mouth to keep me quiet.” He closed his eyes. “God, this one’s really messed up. I want him to take me apart with his words in the confessions booth of St. Agnes.”
Blue’s eyebrows shot up. “You’d defile a Church?”
“It’s been defiled before. I watched myself die in that church.” Ronan grumbled.
She didn’t know if he meant literally or metaphorically but rolled with it anyway. “There’s a bit of a difference between those two things.”
He shrugged and opened his eyes. “Should we get out of here?”
Blue copied his shrug, then her eyes flickered toward the jacket he’d bunched up on his lap. “Can you...”
“I’ll be fine.” He muttered, twin spots of pink darkening his already flushed cheeks. “Stop being so observant.”
It wasn’t observation, per se, but more the thought that her underwear was completely soaked through and the assumption that he was in a similar situation.
She got up, surprised that she hadn’t left a puddle where she was sat. Ronan followed suit, carefully keeping his jacket in front of him. They paid quickly and made their way into the parking lot. Ronan started to walk back to the BMW.
“You’re not driving.” Blue said.
“You’re right, I’m not.” He said, pulling his back car door open and crawling in. Blue let out a long sigh before crawling into the passenger seat.
Ronan had sprawled out on the back seat, jacket thrown onto the floor. He said, “We probably shouldn’t have done that in public. Bad idea.”
Blue caught sight of him in the rear view mirror. Both his hands were grasping at his knees, knuckles white from effort. She could hear his heavy breathing. His jeans seemed suddenly too tight, which couldn’t have been comfortable.
“Stop staring, Maggot.” He said, his voice thick and hoarse. “I’m having a moment here.”
“Sorry.” She said, breaking her gaze from the mirror. Heat rolled inside her at the sight of Ronan also clearly being affected by their conversation. She also gripped her knees, but kept her upright position on the seat. Her hands were shaking. She very much regretted the various layers of clothing she was wearing. “If it helps, I’m having a bit of a moment as well.”
He groaned, thin and low and animalistic. It shot another bolt of arousal through her, which was weird because this was Ronan. She leaned her head back onto the head rest and closed her eyes. The only sounds in the car were her laboured breaths, Ronan’s low snarls and the faint hum of the air conditioner.
“God-”he swore, “Fuck, shit. Holy – Blue, do you care if I-”
“No.” She said, knowing what he was talking about. She kept her eyes closed. She heard his zipper being pulled down, and another restrained growl. Unable to help herself, she let her hands drift up her skirt, and actually whimpered when her fingers grazed over her soaked underwear.
She put one hand over her mouth like Ronan had said he wanted Adam to do to him, trying it out. She thought of Gansey doing it and let her eyes roll back in her head, moan stifled by her hand. She pulled her underwear aside and touched herself, circling her clit slowly and whimpering.
Ronan was swearing profusely in between groans.
Blue, pretending her hand was Gansey’s, slipped two fingers inside herself. She moaned again, biting the palm of her hand to keep from making too much noise.
She fucked herself on her fingers, letting every dream and thought she’d had about Gansey come to the forefront of her mind. His hand wrapped around her throat. His bare chest pressed to her bare chest. His hands digging into her hips, bruising them.
Her thighs shook as she came, moaning Gansey’s name into her own palm. She dropped her hand and panted as she listened to Ronan finish himself off. He did so with a final grunt and a mixture of curse words and Adam’s name.
They sat there for a minute, letting their breathing return to normal. The car stank of sweat and come. After a long moment, Ronan asked, “You got a tissue or something?”
“Yeah,” she said, her voice scratchy even to her own ears, “give me a minute.”
She pulled a few Kleenex out of her pocket, using one to mop up the rest of her wetness and handing one back to Ronan. Her eyes were still closed, the most privacy she could give him. She pulled her underwear back into place and flipped her skirt back down.
“Monmouth?” he asked.
She took a moment to make sure her breathing was well and truly open. “Sure. Got any two player games?”