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It starts as many things do: a drunken mistake.
Except neither of them are drunk enough to blame it entirely on the alcohol.
It's New Year's Eve and the clock is ticking closer and closer to midnight. The house is quiet aside from the television in Oikawa's room playing this year's music show, though that's coming to an end too. Fireworks are popping off somewhere in the distance and lighting up the dark sky outside. It doesn't provide much light in the otherwise dark room but every once in a while, one is close enough to shine in.
Hajime is on the floor and Oikawa is sitting next to him. They're both leaning against the foot of the bed and their near empty cans of beer have been left abandoned between them for a while now. Neither have bothered getting up to get something else to drink, Oikawa too busy watching the show and Hajime too busy watching Oikawa.
Oikawa has his right leg stretched out and his fingers are digging into his knee, kneading it in slow motions. It's acting up again. He hasn't said anything but he doesn't need to either, Hajime knows it is which means he must've overdone it at practice yesterday. Again.
Hajime's lips stretch into a thin line. A scolding rests on his tongue but before he can open his mouth to start, Oikawa breaks the silence.
“You know what would be fun?” he asks with a smile on his lips.
Hajime makes a mental note to scold him later and hums questioningly instead. He doesn't bother opening his mouth.
“If we kissed at midnight.”
Hajime blinks, then he lifts his gaze from Oikawa's knee to stare at his face instead.
Oikawa doesn't look back. His eyes are focused on the television.
“What?” Hajime asks after a long beat.
“I want a New Year's kiss, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “I've never had one and that's a travesty. A crime, I'd say.”
Hajime scoffs and says, “You could've gotten that somewhere else.”
It's true. Hajime knows Oikawa had several invites to parties tonight, including one to come with his parents and his sister to Tokyo. He knows because Oikawa made a point to let him know so he knew that he willingly chose to sit here in his childhood room with Hajime so they could ring in the new year together, just the two of them.
He could've gone out with the friends he plays volleyball with during off seasons and gotten drunk and maybe even kissed. He could have asked Hajime to come with him too and Hajime would probably have said yes. Not because he necessarily wants to go to a party but because who else would keep an eye on his best friend and keep him out of trouble if he didn't?
But Oikawa hadn't asked and had declined every invite so he could be here.
Just the two of them.
“I know,” Oikawa says, “but then you wouldn't have.”
“I don't want one.”
“Oh, come on.” Oikawa shifts just a hair closer to him. “Don't you want to kiss me?”
Hajime looks at him, deadpan. “No,” he says. It doesn't sound like a lie even though it is.
Oikawa pushes his bottom lip out in a pout and his eyes turn pleading.
Hajime rolls his eyes and asks, “Are you really that desperate?”
“Yes! Come on, Iwa-chan. It's just a kiss. Doesn't mean anything.”
But it does. To Hajime, it does.
He doesn't say it. Instead he sighs and says, “Fine.”
Oikawa smiles brightly at him.
“One,” Hajime says and holds up a finger sternly. “You get one kiss and that's it.”
“Obviously,” Oikawa says. “What did you expect? That we'd be making out?”
He laughs when he says it.
Hajime punches his shoulder.
“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa complains loudly and clutches his shoulder.
“I'm not gonna kiss you if you're gonna be an ass about it.”
Oikawa pouts at him but he says nothing.
On the television, they give a one minute warning and Hajime almost leans forward to get the kiss over with. But he stops because not yet. Not yet. He shoots the television a quick glance but Oikawa is looking at him now so he looks back only a split second later and meets his eye.
He feels nervous which is stupid. It's just a kiss. One kiss.
It means nothing.
It means nothing at all.
When the countdown starts, Hajime lets it guide him forward. It reaches zero right as his lips touch Oikawa's. He means for it to be quick, means to lean back right away, but then their lips touch and he doesn't. Not that he could even if he wanted to because Oikawa instantly grabs his face and keeps him right there with their lips locked.
The kiss isn't all that good—it's more awkward than anything—but Hajime doesn't care. Oikawa's lips are soft against his own and he can taste the lingering taste of beer on them, something bitter and something sweet.
Just one kiss, he'd said but despite that, he finds his head tilting and his lips moving to press against Oikawa's better. And Oikawa follows suit with ease as they kiss again.
In the distance, Hajime hears fireworks go off closer than earlier. Kissing Oikawa doesn't feel like fireworks though it does light a fire in his chest. He inhales sharply through his nose when Oikawa's lips shift against his own and he exhales when Oikawa's hands move from his face to around the back of his head, like he wants to keep him there.
Not that Hajime is going anywhere.
It's a bad idea but he doesn't listen to the little voice in his mind telling him so.
He has no idea how long they kiss nor does he care. And when Oikawa pulls back and away, he almost wants to chase after him and kiss him again. Keep him there, tasting him. He wants to but he doesn't. Instead he exhales slowly and opens his eyes.
Oikawa is looking at him too, right into his eyes.
A beat passes.
Then, without breaking their eye contact, Oikawa moves.
He lifts himself up and swings a leg over Hajime before sitting down in his lap. Hajime doesn't get so much as a second to react before Oikawa leans in and kisses him again and Hajime can do nothing but put his hands on his thighs and kiss him back.
It's like a tightly wound wire snaps.
The kiss turns heated with a single nip and Hajime lets it happen. He doesn't try to hold on and lets the wire as well as his self control slip right out of his hands. He gives in. His arms come up around Oikawa as he surges forward to deepen the kiss and his hands grab where they can.
In return, Oikawa pulls him closer and kisses his breath away.
Things become a blur but at some point their clothes disappear.
They both miss the rest of the celebrations but Hajime can't find it in himself to care.
In the morning, Hajime wakes up first.
It's the sun shining in through the uncovered window that wakes him. He opens his eyes into a squint and glowers at the sunshine beaming in through the glass. It's too early. He doesn't know what time it is yet he knows it's too early. He doesn't remember falling asleep but he can't have slept more than five hours, if even that.
He inhales deeply through his nose then pushes himself up to sit. He looks out through the open door to the bedroom and stares until the sleep that fogs his brain starts to seep away and he can actually focus. The house is still quiet, the outside too. He could lay back down and close his eyes again but while he doesn't particularly like mornings, he's never been able to fall back asleep after waking up to the sun.
Besides, it's the first of January. He has things to do.
Hajime blinks once, twice. Then he turns his head and looks to his side.
Oikawa is still asleep, his back turned to him. He's dragged most of the duvet over to his side along the night and it currently lays pushed down around his middle, covering only his bottom half. The rest of him is bare, naked as the day is new.
Hajime stares at the delicate skin of his shoulder.
He wants to lean over and kiss it.
He doesn't.
Oikawa stirs after what must've been a couple minutes. His legs shift underneath the duvet which drags it further down his body and reveals more bare and delicate skin and Hajime forces himself to keep his eyes on Oikawa's face as he rolls over onto his back and rubs at his eyes.
It takes a minute, then Oikawa opens his eyes and looks up at him.
“You look ugly in the morning,” Hajime tells him.
It's not a lie but he knew that already. He has seen Oikawa in the mornings too many times to count and he knows that he has awful bed hair and a terrible morning face. He knows that sometimes Oikawa drools in his sleep, even now that he's twenty, and sometimes it dries on his cheek. He knows that he always has gunk in the corners of his eyes and it's gross.
But none of that matters because despite it all, he's still so fucking beautiful.
Without a facade and with nothing hidden.
It's Hajime's favorite time to see him.
Oikawa whines and rolls over onto his other side to bury his face in the pillow behind Hajime. It puts his bare shoulder against Hajime's own bare hip. Hajime's breath catches in his throat but he stomps it down into quietness.
“Why are you so mean in the morning, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa whines. He has his face pressed into the pillow so it comes out muffled but Hajime hears it anyway.
“Because you stole the duvet and half the bed,” Hajime says.
He pointedly doesn't look down the length of Oikawa's bare back.
“Well, you're the one who gave me an orgasm that send me into a coma so.”
Hajime slaps his hand flat down on Oikawa's back. The sound it makes is satisfying and he almost wishes his hand had been further down. But this is better, this is safer. His hand doesn't linger and comes right back up after making contact, palm stinging. It wouldn't have stayed anyway because Oikawa curls away from him with a hiss.
“Iwa-chan!” he exclaims and glares up at him.
Hajime raises a brow. “What?”
Oikawa's lips stretch into a thin line. He looks like he wants to hit back but he doesn't. Instead he grabs the pillow behind Hajime and curls it under his chin, propping his head up on it. The displeased look doesn't leave his face.
His hair is a mess atop his head and this expression only makes him look all the more ridiculous.
Hajime has to bite back a smile.
“Go make me breakfast, meanie,” Oikawa says.
“Make it yourself,” Hajime throws back without hesitating but he gets out of bed anyway.
He slips on the shirt he wore yesterday and some sweats—Oikawa's, he belatedly realizes because the legs are a little too long—that both have been discarded on the floor, then he walks out of the bedroom without so much as even glancing in Oikawa's direction. He doesn't want to have the image of him naked in bed imprinted in his brain more than it already is.
Hajime expects to freak out and is surprised that he doesn't. He's surprisingly calm and collected for someone who kissed and slept with the person he's been madly in love with for the last... well, his entire life, really. And that in itself—the calmness, the lack of a freak out—is what makes him uneasy.
The house is still empty, as it will be for another couple days. Hajime walks through it toward the kitchen while rubbing at his eyes because he knows this house like the back of his hand and doesn't need to look where he's going. He has spend so much time at the Oikawas' ever since he was a kid that it's like a second home to him.
He starts the coffee machine once he reaches the kitchen. It's an old one that doesn't make the greatest coffee but Hajime has gotten into the unfortunate habit of drinking that crap every now and then and today he definitely needs a cup.
While the coffee brews, Hajime makes breakfast and not just for himself. He doesn't even think about it when he starts making something for Oikawa too and by the time he's done and has put it on the table as well as poured himself a cup of coffee, Oikawa joins him in the kitchen.
Oikawa is dressed now and for that Hajime is grateful.
He's less than grateful that Oikawa is wearing Hajime's sweats.
They're too short on him, too tight too.
Hajime blows at his coffee and looks away.
“Well, would you look at that,” Oikawa says as he sits down by the table. “So Iwa-chan does know how to be nice.”
“Shut up and eat your food.”
Oikawa makes a mocking noise at him but he says nothing and eats.
Hajime joins him at the table, sitting down on the chair across from him. He leans back and makes himself comfortable as he lifts the cup to his lips and takes a careful sip. Quietly, he looks at Oikawa.
He and Oikawa have been best friends since they were kids. They've always been in each other's space and silence between them hasn't been awkward or uncomfortable in so many years that Hajime can't remember if it ever even was. Not that silence happens often around Oikawa but even he shuts up on occasion.
The silence that hangs over them now is heavy.
It's awkward.
Hajime tries not to feel nervous.
“So,” Oikawa says after a dreadful two minutes. “Just one kiss, huh?”
Hajime gives him a warning glare. “I'm holding hot coffee,” he says.
Oikawa meets his eye and says, “You wouldn't.”
Hajime holds his gaze. “Wanna find out?”
Oikawa sticks his tongue out. It's like a challenge.
Hajime decides not to take him up on it.
They sit in silence for another minute.
Then Oikawa asks, “Are we gonna talk about last night?”
Hajime shifts in his seat. “Do we have to?” he asks in a mutter.
“I guess not,” Oikawa says, “but we can't just ignore it. I don't want to.”
“Why not? It didn't mean anything.”
It's a lie and it feels wrong on his tongue.
Across the table, Oikawa is silent. The look on his face is unreadable.
Hajime has always prided himself in knowing exactly what Oikawa is thinking. He can't now.
“We were drunk,” Oikawa says then, voice neutral.
“We had a can of beer each.”
“Then.” Oikawa leans back heavily with a sigh. “What do you want to blame it on?”
Hajime shrugs because he doesn't know.
He knows why he did it. He has been pining for years, wanting for years, and he finally got a chance to have and he stupidly didn't pass on it. He knows that's why he did it. He lost self control and couldn't stop.
He doesn't say that.
“I don't know,” he says instead. “It just happened.”
“Right,” Oikawa says. He almost sounds offended. “It was a mistake. Won't happen again.”
“Right,” Hajime echoes.
“Right.”
Hajime pretends not to be disappointed and pretends the look on Oikawa's face isn't angry.
He lets the silence linger for a second, then another and a third.
“Eat your breakfast, stupid,” he says as lightly as he can and stands. “We're meeting Hanamaki and Matsukawa at the temple in an hour.”
Oikawa doesn't respond but they both pretend everything is normal afterward.
It happens again only a week later and it's entirely Oikawa's fault.
Hajime is asleep but a buzzing on his bedside table wakes him up. It takes him too long to realize it's his phone going off and by the time he's opened his eyes and gathered the energy to reach over and grab it, it stops. He sighs and slumps back against his pillow, intending to go back to sleep, but it starts ringing again only seconds after.
And when he picks it up and squints at the bright screen, he can't help but groan.
Reluctantly, he presses accept call and puts the phone to his ear.
“What?” he asks in lieu of greeting, voice rough with sleep.
“Were you asleep?” Oikawa asks in his ear. He sounds close to laughter.
“The fuck do you think?” Hajime asks back. “It's the middle of the night.”
“It's barely midnight. On a Saturday. What are you, an old man?”
“I'm gonna kill you, Shittykawa.”
“You've been making that threat for like sixteen years now and yet here I am. Still very much alive. Your threats are empty words, Iwa-chan.”
The words are teasing, like they so often are. It does things to Hajime and he likes it a little too much.
With a sigh, he rolls onto his back and asks, “What do you want?”
“Have you seen the sky?”
“No. I've been asleep.”
“Boo! Get up and look out your window. It looks really pretty tonight.”
Hajime sighs but he doesn't think twice before he gets out of bed and walks over to his window anyway. He pushes the curtain aside and looks out and up. Oikawa wasn't kidding. The sky does look pretty tonight; it's starry and the moon is just a sliver among them.
Hajime hates him.
He hates that he called him for something that could have been a picture in a text and made him get out of bed. But he hates that he didn't even think before doing what he was told even more because Oikawa could tell him to walk into traffic for him and Hajime probably would.
Oikawa has him wrapped around his finger and he doesn't even know how much.
Hajime hates it and he loves him.
“Are you looking?” Oikawa asks in his ear.
“Yeah,” Hajime says quietly.
“Look down.”
Hajime does.
Under one of the streetlights below, Oikawa stands with his phone to his ear. Hajime can't see his face from here but he knows it's him. He knows because he knows the way he stands and the clothes he wears and the way his hair is so carefully styled. Outside his window, Oikawa raises a hand and waves at him.
Hajime wants to see him.
They haven't seen each other for the past few days because Oikawa has been busy and Hajime has too. It's only been a few days but Hajime misses him something fierce and it all comes crashing down the moment he lays eyes on him through his window.
He wants to see him, has a sudden need to see him.
He wants him.
“Come up,” he finds himself saying before he can think about it.
Out the window, he sees Oikawa remove the phone from his ear a second before the call ends. He watches as Oikawa leaves the streetlight's beam and disappears into the night's darkness and he has less then twenty seconds before the buzzer rings loudly through the quiet apartment.
He pushes it and lets Oikawa into the building.
By the time Oikawa makes it to his floor, Hajime is waiting for him in the door. Oikawa isn't smiling when their eyes meet. He doesn't have that expression on his face that tells Hajime something's wrong, not even a single hint of it.
No, the expression on his face now is an entirely unfamiliar one. Hajime has known this man his entire life, knows him like the back of his own hand, but he doesn't know this. It's uncharted territory but he can guess and he would probably be right.
Because as Oikawa steps closer, his eyes wander downward. Down past Hajime's face and down to his shirtless torso and his crossed arms. And when he meets Hajime's eye again, Hajime swears he almost looks hungry. Wanting.
Yeah. Hajime knows.
Oikawa opens his mouth but Hajime cuts him off before he can say anything.
He reaches out and grabs the front of his shirt. “Not a word,” he says and drags him inside.
Oikawa tries to talk because of course he does but Hajime doesn't let him. He pushes him against the door as it shuts behind them and kisses him, hard and rough because he doesn't want to hear a single word out of him about this.
It effectively shuts Oikawa up but it doesn't stop him from making noise. He makes one, just a tiny little noise in the back of his throat that almost sounds like a whimper. Hajime kisses him a little harder, a little deeper, and Oikawa grabs his face and kisses him back.
Hajime feels like he's dreaming.
It feels too good to be true to have Oikawa like this; pressed against his door and not only willingly kissing him but enthusiastically kissing him and pulling him closer like he can't get enough of him, just like Hajime can't get enough of him. But if this is nothing but a cruel dream, Hajime doesn't want to wake up.
He kisses him for a while—how long, he doesn't know nor does he care—but when Oikawa pushes his hips against him and lets him know exactly how effected he is by their current situation, Hajime pulls back and opens his eyes.
Oikawa looks like a mess. His lips are red, slick with spit, and parted. His face is flushed prettily and his eyes are half lidded and dark with nothing but want. Hajime wants to mess him up even more.
“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa breathes.
Hearing his voice is even worse. It makes Hajime's blood run straight south.
He takes in a deep breath and tightens his hold on Oikawa's shirt. Then he takes a step back and another and another, walking backwards as he drags Oikawa with him. Oikawa follows willingly and without looking away, keeping their eyes locked and connected.
Hajime has only lived in this apartment for a few months now and he doesn't know it that well yet but it's small and he finds the bedroom easily. He walks until his legs hit the bed and when they do, he sits down and pulls at Oikawa. Oikawa gets the hint and climbs into his lap. He sits down heavily and Hajime wastes no time and kisses him again.
It feels easy to just grab him by the hips and pull him closer so Hajime does. Oikawa lets him and even rolls his hips as he's pulled further into Hajime's lap. The movement pushes their crotches together and the pressure alone makes Hajime's mouth drop open with a moan, one that Oikawa licks right out of him.
Hajime takes in a breath. He pulls back, just enough to say, “Get out of your clothes.”
Oikawa laughs, a breathy chuckle. “You're gonna have to let go of me then,” he says.
Reluctantly, Hajime does and Oikawa climbs out of his lap to rid himself of his clothes.
Hajime didn't get a good look at him last time. It had been too hurried, too quick, and he hadn't gotten the chance to get a real and proper look. But he leans back a little and lets himself look now because he can't find it in himself not to when Oikawa strips right in front of him.
Oikawa is... well, he's Oikawa.
Hajime has always thought Oikawa is good looking. Attractive. Beautiful. The best thing since sliced bread even when he's annoying. Maybe especially when he's annoying. Oikawa makes him feel everything at once; angry, happy, all of it. It's surprisingly not overwhelming but more welcoming.
Oikawa is annoying. He talks a lot and only ever shuts up when he really needs to concentrate. He's a lot to deal with and sometimes too much but goddamn if he hasn't woven himself so much into Hajime's life, he may as well be his definition of perfection.
That applies to his naked body too.
He's lean and toned after years of playing volleyball. His legs are long, so long with barely any hairs on them because he doesn't grow much. Between them, his cock is hard and standing at attention and Hajime wants to slide off the bed and press his lips to it. But he doesn't and instead lets his eyes travel further up, up along Oikawa's stomach and to his chest.
He licks his lips without thinking.
Oikawa must notice because he chuckles and asks, “Like what you see, Iwa-chan?”
Hajime lifts his gaze and meets his eye.
“Because,” Oikawa continues, eyes going down Hajime's body, “I certainly do.”
Hajime stares at him. “Come back here,” he says then.
“Take your underwear off first,” Oikawa says as he steps closer.
Hajime hurries to do so and tosses them away carelessly a second before Oikawa slides back into his lap. Oikawa puts his hands on Hajime's chest and pushes and Hajime lets himself fall back on the bed. He puts his hands on Oikawa, touching up along his thighs until he finds his ass.
He squeezes and smiles when Oikawa flushes above him.
“Condoms?” Oikawa asks, hovering above his lips.
Hajime pecks them, just once. “Bedside table drawer,” he says. “Lube too.”
Oikawa raises a brow, a grin on his lips. “Been busy, have you, Iwa-chan?”
“Shut up, Asskawa,” Hajime says and smacks his ass.
“You like my ass,” Oikawa says as he sits back and reaches over to the bedside table.
Well. Hajime can't deny that.
The prep is short and quick. Oikawa doesn't need much, he says, nor does he want much. He starts getting impatient and almost begs after only a few minutes but Hajime doesn't stop. He finds that he would happily lie here and prep him for hours if Oikawa would let him. He likes this, taking him apart with just a couple fingers while he kisses his neck.
He thinks about using his mouth too but doesn't get to act on it before Oikawa grabs his wrist and pulls his hand back and his fingers out. He doesn't protest and only lies back while Oikawa rolls a condom onto his cock, lifts himself up, and sinks down on him.
It feels—
Hajime doesn't look out the window but he sees stars.
Last time had been nothing more than desperate kisses and sloppy, hurried hand jobs. Nothing extraordinary despite Oikawa claiming it was enough to put him to sleep. This is different. This is more and Hajime grabs at Oikawa's hips as he sinks lower and lower and tries not to come too fast.
Oikawa lowers himself oh so slowly and Hajime feels like he's dying. He's so hot inside and opens up so nicely for him and Hajime thinks, in the back of his mind, that this is going to ruin him for everyone and everything else. No one will ever be able to match, though no one ever could before anyway.
And then finally, Oikawa takes all of him in and sits down firmly.
He sits there quietly once he does. Hajime looks up at him and Oikawa looks back and Hajime can tell the exact moment they both realize what they're doing. The exact moment that it really hits them both, all at once and at the same time.
Hajime holds his breath, watches as Oikawa flushes bright red.
And then Oikawa slowly, experimentally rolls his hips and Hajime stops thinking again.
Oikawa starts out slow, just rolling his hips and feeling him out. Hajime lets him because he can't do much else than lie there and hold on and try to breathe even though his breaths keep getting caught in his throat at the way Oikawa is looking down at him, lips parted and eyes hooded and dark with want.
It's all too much and Hajime feels like he's going to explode.
The eye contact doesn't last much longer because then Oikawa lifts himself up a little and sinks back down. The movement is slow but when he's fully seated again, he suddenly grabs onto Hajime's hands and throws his head back.
“Ha-aaa-jime,” he moans, so erotically that Hajime tightens his hold on Oikawa's hips almost to the point of bruising without realizing it.
He almost comes right then but the tightness of his hold makes Oikawa stop moving and Hajime acts without thought before Oikawa can do much more than look at him with a furrow between his brows and a question in his eyes; he shoves Oikawa to the side and onto his back, slotting himself between his spread legs and slipping back into him.
At the same time, he kisses him so he can't make more noises like that.
Or that was the plan, at least.
But then Oikawa whines into his mouth and wraps both his arms and his legs around him and Hajime has to clench everything to keep himself from going over the edge.
It doesn't help that Oikawa whispers, “Fuck me, Hajime,” against his lips either.
He does it anyway, can't not.
Hajime comes first which isn't that surprising. Oikawa's name almost rolls off his lips when he does but he manages to cut it off after To- and lets it turn into a moan that he muffles into Oikawa's neck instead as he slams his hips forward and spills into the condom.
Oikawa follows not long after. Hajime barely gets a hand around his flushed cock before his hands scramble for hold—one ends up grabbing onto Hajime's bicep while the other clenches around a fist of the sheets—while his back arches and he throws his head back. He spills over his own stomach and moans, loudly and lewdly.
Hajime doesn't think about quietening him even though he has neighbors. He doesn't really care right now and when Oikawa blinks blearily up at him after coming down from his high, he has to lean down and kiss him. Oikawa kisses him back with a pleased and satisfied hum and all thoughts leave Hajime's mind.
They stay like that for a while, lazily kissing.
But then Hajime forces himself away.
His lips linger on Oikawa's for a couple seconds too long before he pulls away and shifts his hips back to slip out of Oikawa's hole. It pulls a breathy sigh out of Oikawa and his legs fall from around Hajime's waist. His hand stays on his bicep but when Hajime sits back, Oikawa lets it slide down along his arm until it falls heavily onto the mattress.
There's a smile on his lips and a soft look on his face.
Hajime wants to lean down and peck his nose or his forehead.
He does neither.
He gets out of bed to rid himself of the condom and get something to clean themselves off with. He briefly entertains the idea of just using the covers on the bed because, much like last time, he hadn't though about putting down a towel before and now they're dirty again. But he decides not to and goes to grab a washcloth from the bathroom and returns to find Oikawa still laid out on the bed.
Hajime stares at his bare legs hanging off the edge of the bed and at his soft cock between them. There's come on his stomach and sweat beading on his chest. He looks like a picture and Hajime wants to take one but settles on the mental kind instead, savoring this view.
After a moment, he tosses the washcloth at his crotch and says, “Clean yourself up.”
Oikawa doesn't move. “You have a perfectly functioning shower, Iwa-chan,” he says. “This,” he picks up the washcloth, “isn't necessary.”
“You woke me up in the middle of the night,” Hajime says and throws himself back onto the bed with a sigh. He lands on his stomach and buries his face in the bunched up duvet. “I'm too tired for a shower.”
“Didn't hear you complaining.” Oikawa pokes at him. Hajime doesn't need to look at him to know he's grinning that wide and teasing grin at him. He can hear it in his voice, especially when he says, “Old man.”
Hajime slaps his hand away. “Fuck off.” It comes out halfheartedly.
Oikawa laughs but he stops poking at him.
They both fall silent for a while. It lasts for so long that Hajime almost thinks Oikawa has fallen asleep but when he turns his head, he sees Oikawa looking back at him from the other end of the bed. He hasn't moved, though the washcloth is gone now as is the come on his stomach.
Oikawa has a hand laid out between them on the bed, the fingers curled in toward his palm. It slides just an inch closer, almost like he wants to reach out and touch him. Hajime would let him but it doesn't move closer.
Hajime wants it to but it doesn't.
“So,” Oikawa says then. “Was this another mistake?”
Hajime blinks at the hand in front of him, then he turns his attention to Oikawa's face.
Oikawa is looking at him, his face neutral.
It looks on purpose.
“I don't know,” Hajime says because he doesn't.
“Well. Clearly we both have an itch that needs scratching.”
Hajime huffs. “If that's what you wanna call it.”
“What else would you call it?”
“Horny and single.”
Oikawa tuts at him and finally reaches out to touch him. He puts his hand on Hajime's shoulder and gives him a shove. “Don't be crude, Iwa-chan!” he says.
He doesn't take his hand away. It stays there, a warm presence.
Hajime looks at Oikawa. Oikawa looks back.
The silence is heavy but it's not awkward.
After a long pause, Oikawa quietly asks, “Wanna make a third mistake?”
Hajime rolls over and kisses him as an answer.
It happens twice more before Hajime admits to himself that it's a thing now. They don't label it as anything and they don't talk about it but every once in a while Oikawa will kiss Hajime or Hajime will kiss Oikawa and they just fall into bed like it's their new normal. It doesn't happen every time they hang out but it happens often enough for it to be a thing.
Matsukawa picks up on it shortly after the seventh time which means Hanamaki does too. Hajime sees it happen when all four of them have a rare lunch together and the two of them are looking at Oikawa and Hajime closer than normal, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. It's undoubtedly because Oikawa has his arm wrapped around Hajime's shoulder and is leaning into his space to steal food off his plate and Hajime does nothing about it.
The look from those two makes Hajime snap out of it and he slaps Oikawa's hand away.
Oikawa has always been a touchy person. He's never shied away from being in Hajime's personal space and touching him in ways that Hajime wouldn't let anyone else do. Hajime pushes Oikawa away a lot, slaps him, smacks him, punches him. But he lets him do it and Matsukawa and Hanamaki know this.
They know yet they look at them like this, like they know something's changed.
Neither of them say anything about it.
Not until Oikawa leaves the table.
“What's up with you two?” Hanamaki asks around a french fry.
Hajime pretends not to know and asks, “What do you mean?”
“Something's different,” Matsukawa says. “You're a lot less pushy with him.”
“Yeah, it took you ten seconds to stop him from taking your food,” Hanamaki says. “Usually it takes you less than one.”
Hajime gives them a deadpan stare. “Am I not allowed to share?”
“No.”
“Definitely not.”
“With Oikawa?” Hanamaki scoffs. “Who are you and what have you done with Iwaizumi?”
Hajime rolls his eyes but he says nothing. He picks up a fry and shoves it in his mouth instead.
“Are you upset that he's gonna leave again soon?”
Hajime pauses. It's not the question he expects to get asked.
He doesn't get to answer it either because then Oikawa returns and the conversation drops.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa don't ask him about it again, not later either.
Truth to be told, he is upset about Oikawa leaving. Of course he is.
But it doesn't matter.
Oikawa was always going to leave and they all know it. He's meant for bigger and better things, none of which he has been able to find in Japan. He's been talking about leaving Japan ever since they lost to Karasuno and went all their high school years without going to Nationals.
It's not surprising that Oikawa is leaving, least of all to Hajime.
Hajime encourages it and wants him to do.
He wants Oikawa to be the best that he can possibly be.
And he knows that the best he can possibly be isn't likely to happen in Japan.
It does upset him though because that's his best friend and his everything.
And maybe that's why he keeps a lid on his feelings and only lets it crack open, just a bit, when he gets to have him the way he's always wanted. Maybe that's why he can't say those three words that are always resting on his tongue because he doesn't want it to keep Oikawa from reaching for his dreams or make him hesitate even the slightest.
He can't do that to him.
January bleeds into February and they keep doing it.
Hajime doesn't tell anyone about it, even though he wants to scream it from the rooftop.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa don't say anything about it but they know. Hajime knows they know.
The suggestive texts and looks they send him is enough.
Tooru, 16:08
› meet me at our spot! bring yourself and snacks o( ❛ᴗ❛ )o
Hajime stares down at his phone. The text is from almost an hour ago. He has had classes all day and has barely even glanced at his phone so he only sees the text waiting for him as he steps out of the school building and starts walking off the grounds. It makes him frown.
It's February and the winter chill hasn't left them yet. If Oikawa has been waiting for almost an hour at their spot, he must be cold if not freezing. Oikawa knows his schedule and knows when he has classes and when those classes end so this isn't a mistake. He's been waiting on purpose.
Hajime sighs and pockets his phone after typing out a quick on my way.
Their spot is at a park near his apartment. It hasn't been their spot for long but it has been long enough for Hajime to know exactly where it is and his feet carry him toward it. He hears him before he sees him. The slap slap slap of a ball hitting concrete and Hajime stops walking five steps down the stairs and looks over the side of the railing.
Oikawa is standing on the slightly sloped ground next to the stairs with a volleyball in his hands. His cheeks are flushed red from the cold as is his nose and he's not wearing a hat or ear warmers but he is wearing gloves and warm leggings under his gym shorts and that makes Hajime slightly less concerned, though only slightly.
Hajime rests his arms on the railing and smiles when Oikawa does.
“It's cold, idiot,” Hajime says. “The hell are you doing out here?”
“Practicing, duh.”
“There are gyms for that.”
“They're all being used and none of them have you.”
“So you wait out here for an hour. In the fucking cold.”
Oikawa smiles up at him, bright and toothy. “Iwa-chan's special,” he says.
Hajime rolls his eyes. He pretends the flush on his cheeks is from the cold.
“If you get sick,” he says flatly, “I'm not taking care of you.”
Yes he is and they both know it.
“Yes you are,” Oikawa says because he knows.
“Fuck you,” Hajime says with no heat.
Oikawa winks at him and says, “Later.”
Hajime gives him a flat look, then he scoffs and heads down the stairs. When he gets to the bottom and makes it around to the sloped ground, Oikawa tosses the ball to him and he catches it with ease because he sees it coming.
“You didn't bring snacks,” Oikawa says.
“I didn't,” Hajime says.
Oikawa pouts at him and asks, “Why not?”
“Because it's cold,” Hajime says. “And you've been out in it for an hour. Probably longer, knowing you.”
Oikawa huffs. “What are you, my mom?” he mutters, so quiet that Hajime almost misses it.
But he doesn't and he throws the ball back a little harder than necessary. It makes Oikawa fumble with it when it reaches him but it never falls out of his hands. He does look ridiculous for that one second though and Hajime has to bite back a laugh. He lets the snort slip through and doesn't try to hide the smile on his lips when Oikawa sends him a displeased look.
“So mean, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa exclaims.
“Don't be a baby,” Hajime says and steps closer. “I'll practice with you for half an hour and then we're going inside.”
Oikawa brightens and smiles at him.
They end up practicing for an hour instead because Oikawa asks him for just one more again and again and Hajime can't say no. But when dark falls and the lights in the park turn on, Hajime puts his foot down and catches the ball when Oikawa sets it to him. He doesn't throw it back.
Oikawa predictably complains but when Hajime gathers their things and grabs his wrist to drag him out the park with him, he doesn't fight it. Hajime doesn't let go of his wrist either.
“I'm staying at your place tonight,” Oikawa says as they walk.
“What about your parents?” Hajime asks.
“They're home,” Oikawa says, “and I wanna hang out with you. Privately.”
Hajime looks at him out the corner of his eye.
Oikawa smiles back, picture perfect innocence.
Hajime huffs out a laugh. “You're as subtle as a brick to the head,” he says.
“Now now, Iwa-chan. Don't be so crude.”
“Suck a dick.”
“Yours? I'd be happy to.”
Hajime shoves at him and Oikawa laughs.
They walk in silence for a beat, then another.
“Sooo,” Oikawa says then and leans into his space with pleading eyes. “Can I stay over?”
Hajime sighs and says, “You're going to even if I say no.”
“You know you want me to, Iwa-chan. You love me~”
Hajime doesn't deny it. Instead, he says, “You can stay over.”
“Thank you, Iwa-chaaan!”
Oikawa skips ahead of him and Hajime rolls his eyes.
He hides his fond smile in the collar of his jacket.
Oikawa walks in through the apartment door after Hajime has unlocked it and throws his outerwear off like he lives here. He shrugs his coat off and tosses it carelessly to the side along with his gloves while he toes out of his undone shoes and kicks them to the side as well. They land messily around the few shoes Hajime owns that are placed neatly in the genkan.
Hajime glares at the back of Oikawa's head.
This is nothing new. Oikawa has always been a little— okay, very messy and Hajime has always picked up after him, though not without complaining and scolding him as if he's his... well.
Oikawa often says he acts like his mother and maybe there is some truth in that.
Hajime picks Oikawa's coat up from the floor and puts it away along with his own, then he puts their shoes neatly alongside the rest before he follows Oikawa further into the apartment. He slaps the back of his head as he passes him and scowls at him when Oikawa turns a hurt look to him.
“Mean!” Oikawa whines.
“Messy asshole,” Hajime retorts.
“You're too neat, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “Look at this place! It's like no one lives here.”
“I clean,” Hajime says. “Unlike you, you fucking tornado.”
Oikawa sticks his tongue out and Hajime resists the urge to pull it.
He reaches out to grab him instead but Oikawa avoids his hand with a laugh.
“Too slow!” Oikawa says and mocks him by flipping him off.
Hajime grunts but he doesn't try to grab him again. Instead, he raises his middle finger back at him.
It makes Oikawa laugh again. The sound of it pulls a smile onto Hajime's lips.
“I'm gonna steal your shower,” Oikawa says. “Hope you don't mind.”
He's already heading toward the bathroom, a slight bounce in his step.
“Just don't use all my hot water,” Hajime calls out after him.
“No promises!” Oikawa calls back before he disappears into the bathroom.
The door closes and the lock clicks a second later.
Hajime sinks down on one of the chairs in the kitchen with a sigh. He ducks his head and rubs at his temple, not because he has a headache but to hide the smile on his lips. There's no one in the room but him now that Oikawa is in the bathroom so he doesn't need to hide it. But he does it anyway and rubs at his face until he can force it away from his lips.
The water turns on in the bathroom and only a minute passes before Oikawa's terrible singing washes out from behind the closed door. It makes Hajime snort because he knows Oikawa does it on purpose. He can't sing for shit but he likes doing it because he knows it annoys Hajime.
And it does annoy him.
But Hajime loves it anyway.
Most of the time, at least. Right now, it's not so bad.
Oikawa takes his time in the shower so Hajime doesn't stay seated for long. He pushes himself off the chair when Oikawa starts singing a different song just as terribly as the first and goes to look into the fridge instead. He doesn't have much in there but he grabs the half empty bottle of juice and pours himself a glass.
He's hungry but he knows Oikawa will want food too so he waits and leans against the counter as he drinks. He's still standing there when Oikawa stops singing, the water stops running in the bathroom, and a quiet falls over the apartment.
Hajime waits a minute, takes another gulp of the juice, then he looks toward the bathroom door and wills it to open. He only has to wait a minute before the lock clicks and the door opens.
Oikawa appears in the door wearing nothing. He's naked from head to toe, his skin still flushed from his shower but he's dried himself off. He cocks his hip out and puts a hand on the door frame, like he's putting himself on display and Hajime lets himself look.
His eyes roam down, down to where Oikawa's cock hangs between his legs. It's soft but already starting to chub and Hajime forgets all thoughts about food because suddenly he's not hungry for that anymore.
No, he wants what's in front of him.
He wants to kiss him, wants to touch him.
He wants him closer and on him.
He wants his mouth on that flushed skin.
He wants to taste.
He wants— he wants.
“Hajime.”
Hajime lifts his gaze at his name. Not Iwa-chan, his name.
Oikawa smirks at him lopsided, head tilted. “Like what you see?” he asks teasingly.
Hajime puts his glass down. “Don't get cocky,” he tells him.
“What am I here for if not to get cock—” Oikawa pauses, then adds, “—y?”
Hajime gives him an unimpressed look and says, “I fucking hate you.”
Oikawa looks at him. His smile is gone but he holds his gaze as he pushes off the door frame and walks toward him, unashamed of his naked state. He walks over and steps in close, so close that Hajime can feel his body heat through his own close and so close that when Oikawa puts a hand on either side of him to grab the counter behind him, he forgets to breathe.
Their faces are close. Hajime can feel Oikawa's breath ghosting over his own lips. Hajime holds his own, eyes locked onto Oikawa's because he can't look away. Not when Oikawa is looking at him like this, like he wants to eat him. And Hajime wants to let him.
“Iwa-chan's such a terrible liar,” Oikawa says, voice low in a whisper.
When he speaks, he leans just a tad closer and the words touch Hajime's lips.
Hajime doesn't get to retaliate because then Oikawa kisses him.
He expects the kiss to be heated, desperate, immediately deep and wanting. But it's not. Oikawa kisses him and it's soft and savoring and for a moment Hajime forgets that Oikawa is naked against him. But then he reaches out to touch him and his hand lands on a bare hip and it hits him so suddenly that a noise gets caught in his throat and his breath hitches.
The kiss ends too soon after.
Hajime leans forward to follow his lips but Oikawa doesn't let him. He lifts a hand and puts it in front of Hajime's face, effectively stopping him. Hajime doesn't whine, he doesn't complain. But he does narrow his eyes in a slight glare and tightens his grip on Oikawa's hip.
Oikawa winks and grins at him in return. His hand lowers only to curl into the front of Hajime's shirt and grabs on. He holds his gaze as he takes a step backward and then another before he turns around and starts walking toward the bedroom.
He doesn't let go of Hajime's shirt and Hajime follows him willingly, hands hanging by his sides even though he wants to reach out and touch.
They reach the bedroom in no time. When they do, Oikawa lets go of him and Hajime stops walking. He stands there and watches as Oikawa hops into the air and flips around to fall backwards onto the bed. He lands on the mattress with his arms spread out and his legs hanging over the edge of the bed.
He lays there for a moment before he props himself up on his elbows. He looks at Hajime, pauses, then spreads his legs. It's a silent offer and one that Hajime can't resist.
Hajime doesn't bother getting out of his clothes. He moves without the thought even crossing his mind. He takes four steps forward and then drops to his knees, right between Oikawa's legs. He holds Oikawa's gaze as he rests his hands on Oikawa's knees, not pushing but gently nudging his legs wider so he can scoot closer.
Oikawa does it, tongue poking out to lick his lips.
“Not gonna take your clothes off?” he asks. He sounds breathless.
Hajime leans in, presses a kiss to Oikawa's right knee. “Do you want me to?” he asks.
“I do not care,” Oikawa says in an exhale. “Just— keep going.”
So Hajime does.
He breaks their eye contact and turns his attention to Oikawa's right leg instead. His hand is still resting on his knee but he moves it, twists it around to grab underneath it instead. His thumb brushes against the soft skin and he licks his lips before dipping his head down to press a kiss to his inner thigh, just above his knee.
The kiss he leaves there is soft and gentle and he's no fool, he knows what he wants it to convey. It's the I love you that has been resting on his tongue for years now, the I love you that he's never been able to say out loud and might never get the chance to.
It's the I love you that he wants Oikawa to understand so badly.
Oikawa has to know. He has to. The kisses that Hajime trail up along Oikawa's inner thigh all whisper a quiet I love you and every touch his fingers leave when they follow up along his thighs say I'm here, I care, I love you. He wants Oikawa to understand and there's no way Oikawa doesn't. He's too smart, too perceptive, knows him too well not to.
Hajime hopes, at least.
Because he can't say it out loud.
If Oikawa figures it out on his own, Hajime thinks that would be alright.
His hands continue up until they find Oikawa's hips. They stop there and give his hips a gentle squeeze while Hajime rises up just slightly to trail his kisses further up along Oikawa's inner thigh. Oikawa spreads his legs a little more to give him more space and Hajime hums his thanks and decides to leave a mark far up.
Oikawa moans and Hajime hums in reply, kissing the dark spot he left behind.
He moves one hand to wrap it around Oikawa's flushed cock and smiles when it twitches into his palm. He licks his lips and delights in the breathy sigh Oikawa lets out when he turns his head and lets his wet lips hover by his cock. He stays there, hovering.
But then Oikawa makes an impatient noise and puts a hand on his head. He isn't pushing him to get on with it nor is he stopping him. His fingers curl into his short hair and he holds on. Hajime places a testing kiss to the side of his cock and then another when it makes Oikawa tightens his hold in his hair.
He places three more and then Oikawa moans his name.
“Hajime.”
Soft and breathy.
Hajime pauses and his eyes flick up to him. The look he's met with makes him stop.
Oikawa is looking at him with no small amount of adoration. There's no other word for it. He is looking at him like he's the only thing in the world that matters and it makes Hajime's heart do flips in his chest and it knocks the breath right out of him.
He swallows thickly and leans back.
“Don't look at me like that,” he says, voice rough.
Oikawa loosens his grip on his hair but he doesn't let go. “Like what?”
“Like... like you wanna kiss me.”
“You just had your mouth on my dick, Iwa-chan. I think you can handle a kiss.”
“Just—”
Hajime grabs him by the hips and flips him over.
Oikawa squawks but he doesn't protest nor does he complain. And he must know what Hajime wants because he only lays on his front for a moment before he tugs his knees under himself and raises his hips up as he arches his back.
Hajime reaches out and cups a cheek. He squeezes, delighted in the sigh it pulls out of Oikawa. This is better. He doesn't have to look at his face like this, doesn't have to deal with the way Oikawa was looking at him. It was too much, too overwhelming.
This is better.
Besides, this view isn't so bad.
Hajime licks his lips and settles behind him.
“Did you clean yourself?” he asks as he cups the other cheek.
Oikawa scoffs and asks, “Why do you think I took a shower?”
“Because you're gross.”
Oikawa whips his head around. Loudly, he says, “Iwa-chan!”
Hajime meets his eye. “Answer the question, Asskawa,” he says.
Oikawa harrumphs and turns his head back around. He folds his arms to rest his chin on it. “Of course I cleaned myself,” he says and adds, “Thoroughly,” as he pushes his ass back into Hajime's hands.
And that's enough for Hajime.
He leans down and buries his face between Oikawa's cheeks. He tastes salty and clean. It's not the best taste in the world but Hajime doesn't care. Every flick of his tongue pulls another breathy, shaky moan out of Oikawa and he thinks this could very well become his favorite taste.
He always did prefer salty over sweet anyway.
Oikawa doesn't last long. He comes with a choked off moan and his own hand wrapped around his cock while Hajime continues to lap at his rim and occasionally dip his tongue in when he opens up for him. And afterward, he flops down with a heavy sigh and doesn't move.
Hajime sits back to look down at him. Oikawa has his eyes closed and there's a small smile resting on his parted lips. He looks blissed out and satisfied and Hajime can only smile at the view.
“You good?” he asks him quietly.
“Uh huh,” Oikawa breathes out. “Iwa-chan's good at that.”
Hajime hums. His smile turns pleased.
He watches him for a minute, then he moves and joins Oikawa on the bed. He lays down next to him, on his back and with his head turned toward Oikawa to keep his eyes on him. He can't not, not when Oikawa looks like this.
Hajime hasn't gotten off. His cock is hard and straining against the zipper of his pants.
But right now, he does not care.
It'll go away eventually.
He doesn't know how much time passes but then Oikawa opens his eyes, just a bit.
“You're staring,” he says, voice slightly muffled by his arms.
“You got an ugly face,” Hajime says lightly.
It's a lie. Oikawa is beautiful.
Oikawa makes a face with his nose scrunched up and closes his eyes.
Hajime huffs out a laugh at him.
“Iwa-chaaan,” Oikawa whines then, annoying on purpose. “I'm hungry.”
“Congratulations.”
Oikawa throws a hand out, slaps at him. “Go make me something,” he says.
Hajime rolls his eyes. “You're a demanding brat,” he says as he gets up.
“Thank you, Iwa-chan~!”
Hajime lives alone and there isn't much in his kitchen. He grabs a couple protein bars from his stash because he figures that's enough until either of them can muster up the energy to make or order some actual food. On his way back, he makes a detour to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his mouth.
He can't have been gone for more than five minutes and when he returns to the bedroom, Oikawa hasn't moved and a soft snore follows his slow inhales.
Oikawa has fallen asleep. Passed out.
Hajime stares at him. Then he grabs the discarded sweats from his laundry chair and curls them into a ball in his hand. He keeps his eyes on Oikawa as he calls out, “Hey Shittykawa!” before he throws the sweats at his naked ass, hard enough that it makes a noise when it connects but not hard enough to hurt.
Oikawa startles, pushing himself up a little. “Wha—”
“Don't ask me to get you food and then pass out,” Hajime says.
Oikawa huffs and rolls onto his back. His front is sticky with the drying come he's been laying on.
Hajime tries not to look but Oikawa is rubbing at his eyes so he won't know.
“Well,” Oikawa says around a yawn. “Don't give me orgasms that send me into a coma.”
Hajime blinks, then he glares. He drops the protein bars on the nearest surface and reaches out to wrap his hand around Oikawa's ankle. He doesn't give a warning before he pulls and starts dragging him off the bed.
Oikawa is immediately wide awake. He yelps and Hajime almost gets him dragged off the bed before he gets to react but then Oikawa kicks at him and yells out, “Fine, fine! I'm sorry, Iwa-chan! I'll be good!” and Hajime decides to let go of him.
Oikawa ends up halfway off the bed and he slumps there with a pout and a whine.
Hajime flicks his forehead, then can't stop himself from running his fingers through his messy hair.
Oikawa hums and leans into the touch, eyes turned up at him. “Iwa-chan,” he says softly. “You never got off, did you?”
Hajime shrugs. “Doesn't matter,” he says because it doesn't.
Oikawa reaches out and hooks his pointy fingers into his belt loops to tug him closer. “It matters to me,” he says.
Hajime swallows thickly but lets himself be pulled. “The food,” he starts and then stops.
“What did you get?” Oikawa asks. His fingers work to undo Hajime's pants.
“Protein bars,” Hajime says, watching them work.
Oikawa hums and says, “Those can wait.”
“I thought you were hungry.”
“I am. But protein bars sound so boring when I've got this right here.”
He tugs his pants down and Hajime bites back his remark and forgets all about food.
Oikawa stays over a lot. More often than not these days and Hajime can't say he minds all that much because Oikawa has bought a plane ticket and his time left in Japan has a set expiration date now so every minute he gets to spend with him is one he grasps tightly.
Even if it means having to spend a little extra on groceries because Oikawa eats his food and even if it means having to come home after class to a mess somewhere in his tiny apartment because Oikawa is terrible at cleaning up after himself. He leaves clothes around the apartment and dishes in the sink.
But Hajime doesn't mind it.
Because he's hopeless and in love.
Oikawa stays over a lot, so much so that when Hajime comes home from a long day of classes only a couple weeks from their expiration date to find Oikawa's shoes and coat in the genkan, he's not even surprised. Rather, it makes him smile.
The smile stays on his lips as he steps out of his own shoes and shrugs his coat off. It stays as he walks further into the apartment to look for Oikawa and it's still there, resting softly on his lips, when he finds him in the bedroom.
Oikawa is on his bed, sitting propped against the wall with a pillow behind his back. He's wearing his glasses and Hajime is pretty sure that's one of his shirts he's got on. Oikawa doesn't look up, his eyes focused on his phone that he has in his hands and lifted to his face.
He looks so comfortable and like he belongs there.
And he does. Hajime wants him there.
Hajime inhales, crosses his arms, and leans against the door frame.
He watches him for a minute, then he says, “You look like a nerd.”
Oikawa smiles before he turns his head and looks at him. “Welcome home, Iwa-chan,” he says softly and it makes Hajime exhale and relax.
He stands there for another beat, then he steps forward and joins Oikawa on the bed. It's not a particularly big bed, definitely not build for two grown men, but they've spend many hours in it together by now and it has never been a problem.
He sits down next to him and leans against the wall too. Oikawa hasn't put his phone down so he chances a glance and sees a volleyball match playing on the screen. Hajime expected as much.
“What are you doing here?” he asks even though he doesn't care about the answer.
Oikawa shrugs and says, “I felt like being here.”
Hajime hums in acknowledgment but he doesn't say anything.
Neither does Oikawa and he goes back to the video.
Hajime leans a little closer and decides to watch too.
They sit there in comfortable silence for a long time. But then suddenly Oikawa pauses the video and puts his phone down and a heaviness falls over the silence. Not because it's awkward but because Oikawa starts fidgeting with the hem of the shirt he's wearing, like he usually does when he wants to say something.
Hajime opens his mouth to ask him what's up but Oikawa speaks before he can.
“You know I love you, right?” he asks.
Hajime stares at him.
“And not just as a friend.”
Hajime opens his mouth but then he closes it again.
In the back of his mind, he thinks he does know and always knew because hearing it said out loud doesn't surprise him.
“Because I know you love me,” Oikawa continues.
And that's less surprising.
“You figured it out,” Hajime says.
“I'm very lovable, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says. “Of course you love me.”
Hajime rolls his eyes but he's smiling.
“And you're not very good at hiding your emotions. Not to me, at least.”
“I wasn't trying to hide it.”
“So why did you never say anything?”
“Well, why didn't you?”
“I asked you first.”
Hajime pauses and his smile falls from his lips. He says, “You're not staying in Japan.”
“I'm not. So?”
“You're gonna leave and you and I both know you're not coming back.”
Oikawa is quiet for a beat. “Again, so?”
Hajime sighs. “I don't want long distance, Oikawa.”
“Neither do I but I do want you and if that's what it takes then I say it's worth it.”
“Oikawa,” Hajime says and looks at him. “Don't make you leaving harder than it already is.”
“You think you're the only one who's gonna be sad when I leave? It's gonna be hard for me too.”
“Then—” stay, Hajime almost says but he doesn't. He bites it back and shuts his mouth.
He wants Oikawa to stay but for selfish reasons only. And he can't ask that of Oikawa.
He won't.
“Then stay. Is that what you were gonna say?” Oikawa asks.
Hajime crosses his arms, face clenched. “No,” he lies.
“You're stupid, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says in a laugh.
He leans into his space and wraps his arms around him and Hajime can't help but lean into him. Oikawa puts a couple fingers against his chin and Hajime lets him turn his face. And when Oikawa places a soft and gently and loving kiss to his lips, Hajime closes his eyes and kisses him back.
The kiss is short but Hajime doesn't open his eyes afterward.
“I'm not staying,” Oikawa says in a whisper. “But I'm not staying gone forever. I'll come back every once in a while and you can come visit me too. It's not like we'll never see each other again. And we have phones and the internet. We can make it work.”
Hajime puts his forehead against Oikawa's and says, “I'm gonna miss you.”
“And I'm gonna miss you,” Oikawa says. “But can I just please call you mine?”
Hajime opens his eyes and looks at him. “I've always been yours, dumbass,” he says.
Oikawa smiles at him, so wide and bright that Hajime almost loses his breath.
“That was so sappy, Iwa-chan,” he says.
Hajime rolls his eyes and says, “Shut up, Oikawa.”
“Nope!” Oikawa exclaims and throws himself at him.
He hugs him so tight that Hajime definitely loses his breath this time. But he doesn't care. He wraps his arms around him and hides his smile in Oikawa's neck, holding on knowing he's gonna have to let go soon. But not now, not yet.
They don't leave the bed again that night and that's fine.
Oikawa doesn't leave Hajime's apartment until his travel day and that's fine too.
Tooru, 07:34
› i'm coming back in a couple months and that's a promise
Me, 07:35
‹ text me when you land
Tooru, 07:35
› nah i'll facetime you ( ˘ ³˘)♥
Me, 07:36
‹ no thanks i've seen enough of your ugly face
Tooru, 07:37
› you love my face
Hajime's fingers hover over the keys. He hesitates, then he types.
Me, 07:38
‹ yeah
Tooru, 07:38
› (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑
Hajime smiles softly down at his phone as he walks out the airport.
Oikawa has been gone all of ten minutes and Hajime already misses him.
But they'll make it work.