Archive of Our Own

For what felt like a very long time, Qui-Gon drifted in and out of consciousness, unable to fully awaken. It was as if his mind was blocked from all thoughts and feelings, except for an overwhelming sense of exhaustion.

It was impossible to tell how long this went on for. It could have been minutes, days, months, or years. There was no sense of time to determine anything. He could only wait, which is exactly what he did, until finally he could feel and think once again, with a coherency that was much better than before. He could tell where he was, for example, surrounded by the warmth and light of what could only be the temple’s Halls of Healing. 

But with awareness came memory, and so it took only several seconds after regaining full consciousness for Qui-Gon to start panicking. The last thing he remembered was Obi-Wan’s tear-stricken face, holding him closely as he slowly succumbed to his wound. It was right after Qui-Gon had watched Obi-Wan, his sweet, innocent Little, cut the Sith in half. Everything had gone dark soon after. 

Where was Obi-Wan now? His Little was probably terrified. Qui-Gon needed to be there for him, to hold and comfort him to the best of his ability. 

“S’my Little?” he tried to say, but his words were slurred. His mouth was dry, and his tongue felt much too heavy. 

“Master Jinn,” Master Healer Vokara Che greeted him, her voice low and soothing. Qui-Gon opened his eyes and squinted up at her. “It is good to finally see you awake. How are you feeling right now?”

“Vokara, where is my Little?” Qui-Gon demanded again, ignoring the question. “And how long have I been…?”

“Almost two and a half weeks,” Vokara admitted rather reluctantly. Qui-Gon practically went gray, and not from the painful feeling in his chest. “But you needn’t worry about Obi-Wan,” she continued. “He and his young student have been managing. Obi-Wan will be very relieved to see you awake, though.”

“I need to see him,” said Qui-Gon. 

“You will very soon. But he’ll no doubt fully regress as soon as he sees you, and that’ll take up time and energy that you don’t have right now.” Vokara said. She held up a hand at Qui-Gon’s predicted outrage. “Just let me prepare first. There are a few tests I still need to run. I can also have someone else stay in the room to aid in any part of Obi-Wan’s regression that you won’t be able to handle yourself. But before even that, Master Yoda has been waiting to speak to you.” 

It took every ounce of Qui-Gon’s training as a Jedi to swallow down his desperation and maintain composure and patience. 

“Very well,” he told her. 

“Glad to see you awake, I am.” 

“Master,” Qui-Gon greeted the elderly Jedi, watching him warily. The last time he had seen Yoda had been during the Council meeting before he, Obi-Wan, and Anakin had gone to Naboo. Yoda had been against Anakin becoming a Jedi, much like the rest of the Council. 

Yoda walked further into the room. When he stopped by the side of Qui-Gon’s bed, he leaned heavily on his cane. There was a silence; Qui-Gon focused on his breathing, and Yoda watching him closely.

“Knighted, young Obi-Wan has been,” Yoda finally said. “Saving his braid for you to cut, he is.” 

Qui-Gon’s heart swelled with pride, and he longed more than ever to see his Little so that he could hug him tightly and tell him what a good boy he was. His sweet, Little padawan was a Jedi Knight now. He deserved it, with all certainty.

“Bonded, you both are, and so continue to work together, you shall. Permission, the Council has granted, that you both may train young Skywalker.”

“What made you change your mind?” Qui-Gon asked carefully, studying his grandmaster closely. 

“Proven himself capable, the boy has. This, the Council has agreed on,” said Yoda, but his ears dropped. “But agree for him to be a Jedi, I still do not. Fought me on this, Obi-Wan did.” 

Good boy, Qui-Gon thought to himself, though it was expressed through the force loudly enough for Yoda to pick up on. 

“Hmmph,” the small Jedi grumbled, fingers clenching around his cane. “So be it.”

“I’d like to see my Little now,” Qui-Gon said. “Please, Master. I cannot relax until I see with my own eyes that he is unharmed.” 

“Patience,” Yoda chided. “See Obi-Wan soon, you will.”

‘Soon’ turned out to be over two hours later, once Vokara had completed a series of scans and then walked Qui-Gon through what his recovery would look like: long and tedious, but promising. He would be on bed rest for at least two more weeks, and after that he would have to take it easy and attend regular physical therapy for several months after. He wouldn’t be able to exert himself physically or even lift something more than twenty pounds for most of that time. In other words: there would be no carrying Obi-Wan around for the time being, or even sparring with him. 

Although Qui-Gon was dragged down by Vokara’s instructions, she eventually finished her Healer’s tirade, patted his leg, and announced that Obi-Wan was on his way, and that they could visit for a while as long as he stayed in bed. At this point it was early evening. 

When Obi-Wan entered the room, he was accompanied by Mace Windu, a close friend of Qui-Gon’s as well as a member of the Council. He was also experienced in looking after Obi-Wan from time to time. 

“Master!” Obi-Wan croaked, and then promptly burst into tears. 

Vokara was right about this being difficult. Qui-Gon’s instincts were screaming at him to comfort his Little; pick him up, hug him, hold him tightly...but he was too weak to even sit up all the way. 

“Obi-Wan, it’s alright,” he soothed verbally, feeling quite helpless. “I’m alright.”

Obi-Wan was about to clamber onto Qui-Gon’s medical bed, but Mace was quick to catch him. The Little let out a pitiful whine, squirming to escape the secure hold. 

“Easy, Obi-Wan,” Mace murmured. “We have to be very gentle with your master right now. He’ll be alright, but he’s still recovering. Come, let’s sit down by his bed, and you can hold his hand.”

Qui-Gon watched as Mace sat down at his bedside and maneuvered the fussy Little into his lap. Although Mace wasn’t a Caregiver, he still held a great fondness for Obi-Wan, and was also very good with him. 

As soon as Obi-Wan was within range, Qui-Gon held out his hand. 

“I m-missed you,” Obi-Wan hiccuped, pressing his face into Qui-Gon’s calloused palm. Qui-Gon cupped his Little’s face, rubbing soothing circles against his cheekbone with the tip of his thumb.

“I missed you, too, darling. But my former padawan is now a knight,” he said, smiling. “As soon as I am well enough, we’ll have a celebration. You did such a good job, Obi-Wan. You were a very good, brave boy.” 

“I had to be,” Obi-Wan said, blinking wetly. “He h-hurt you. I thought you were going to leave me, Master.” 

“I know,” said Qui-Gon. “But you must focus on the here and now. And right now I am here, and I do not plan on going anywhere, except for away from the halls of healing, when I am allowed.” 

“Yes, Master. I don’t want you in the healing halls either.”

Qui-Gon smiled again, fingers tracing over Obi-Wan’s braid. “My darling little knight. As soon as I’m able to sit up again, I’ll cut your braid off properly. How does that sound?” 

“Good,” Obi-Wan said, clutching onto Qui-Gon’s hand once again. “I’ve been looking after Anakin. We have permission to train him, Master! He’ll be the best Jedi there ever is, I just know he will!” 

“He will,” Qui-Gon agreed. “Especially under your guidance.”

For a while, they sat in comfortable silence. Seeing as Obi-Wan had calmed down considerably, Mace allowed him to carefully settle down on Qui-Gon’s bed so that he could snuggle with his Caregiver. Once that happened, Obi-Wan closed his eyes. One of his hands rested on Qui-Gon’s chest so that he could feel his heart beating.

It was the best feeling in the world, just to have Obi-Wan at his side once again. Some of the aches and pains Qui-Gon felt seemed to fade away slightly. 

“Two weeks,” he muttered. “Mace, I’ve never been away from Obi-Wan for two weeks before. Is he alright?”  

“You don’t have anything to fear, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Skywalker are being well looked after. I take nights and evenings, and Plo takes mornings and afternoons,” Mace informed his friend. “Sometimes Depa or Knight Vos step in too, and there are plenty more people who have volunteered to help.”

Qui-Gon rested a hand atop his sleeping Little’s head. “Thank you,” he said, closing his eyes. “Vokara has informed me that it’s going to be a long recovery.”

“But you will recover fully,” Mace reminded him. “Soon you will once again defy the Council on the regular, and win the hearts of every single planet that you bring Obi-Wan to.” 

Qui-Gon chuckled lowly, wincing at the sharp pain in his stomach. “I’m looking forward to it.” 

Mace patted his leg. “Get some rest.” 

The following two weeks seemed to crawl by at a snail’s pace. Despite this, Qui-Gon adhered to the healer’s instructions and did nothing but rest. He wasn’t an imbecile; he wanted to heal, and this was the only way. 

Obi-Wan visited him twice a day, sometimes more. He often took nap-time in Qui-Gon’s room, or brought some toys and played quietly. Qui-Gon was relieved to see his Little regressed; it was normal and healthy, especially after dealing with a traumatic event. 

Anakin came to see him as well. It seemed that he was adjusting well to his new life at the temple. He took day classes with the initiates, but Obi-Wan had more or less begun training their new padawan, despite being in a regressed state of mind. 

“Obi-Wan’s been really great!” Anakin told Qui-Gon. “He’s been helping me learn to read Basic, teaching me katas, and even cooking! I just had to explain to him that I don’t drink out of a bottle like he does.” 

Qui-Gon smiled. “Good,” he said, ruffling Anakin’s hair. 

They developed something of a routine: Qui-Gon would give Obi-Wan his evening bottle, and together they would aid Anakin in doing the homework he received from his classes. Qui-Gon had been surprised at Vokara’s easy allowance of the visits, but soon learned why. 

“Having close contact with your Little is speeding up the healing process,” she told him. “In fact, seeing as you are able to walk around with minimal pain, I think I shall let you try staying in your own quarters tomorrow, provided that you promise to rest. You must also use a hoverchair to get to your quarters.” 

“I wholeheartedly accept your terms,” Qui-Gon agreed easily. “Will you not mention this to anyone? I would like to surprise Obi-Wan and Anakin.”

When Qui-Gon arrived at his quarters the next day, he had a datapad listed with instructions for his care as well as a satchel full of various supplements and medications. He slowly eased himself out of the hoverchair and palmed open the door. There was a steady pain in his abdomen, but it was manageable. 

It was quiet inside, despite it being mid-afternoon. If not for being able to sense Anakin and Obi-Wan through the Force, Qui-Gon might have thought nobody was home. 

He moved slowly around their living quarters, ensuring that everything appeared to be in order. He was pleased to see that their plants were thriving, and that everything looked quite tidy. Even Obi-Wan’s toys seemed to be put away. 

Anakin was sitting at the table, working on some sort of project. He jumped out of his seat as soon as he saw Qui-Gon, running over to him. 

“Mist- er, Master Qui-Gon, you’re back! Wizard!” Anakin beamed, clearly ecstatic to see him. “Master Koon’s helping Obi-Wan in the bath right now, ‘cause he got paint all over himself. He’s gonna be really happy to see you!” 

“It’s good to be back. I imagined that I would come home to some very messy quarters,” Qui-Gon teased, chucking the boy’s chin. “Have you been getting along alright?”

“Sure I have!” Anakin said. “Well, mostly. I got sad last night ‘cause I missed my mom, but Obi-Wan held me really tight and we had cookies together. Oops, he said not to tell about the cookies, but it’s okay, isn’t it? They really did make me feel better, Master Qui-Gon, honest!” 

“Settle down Anakin, it’s alright,” Qui-Gon said, holding in laughter. 

Before anything more could be said, Plo led Obi-Wan into the room by his hand. As a Kel Dor, Plo did not fall into any classification system like humans or other closely-related species did. If he were human, however, Qui-Gon was certain that he would have been a caregiver, shown through his interactions with children and Littles alike. 

“Master!” The Little cried out in delight as soon as he saw Qui-Gon. “You’re back! Oh, you’re back!” 

“I've been doing so well that Master Che has let me leave a few days early,” Qui-Gon said, smiling as Obi-Wan hugged him carefully. From the way his new knight was squirming, it was clear that he was holding back from hugging him tighter. Qui-Gon pressed a kiss to the top of his Little’s head. “Tell me, how is my darling little knight doing?” 

“Good, Master!” Obi-Wan answered, beaming. “We did paints, and I made you a special picture! But you can’t see it until it’s all dry.” 

Qui-Gon kissed his cheek. “What a thoughtful thing to do. Thank you, darling.” 

Anakin tugged on Obi-Wan’s sleeve. “Obi-Wan, can you look at my star chart? I think it’s finished!”  

“Of course, Ani!” Obi-Wan said, though he reached out to hug Qui-Gon once more. 

Qui-Gon pat his cheek reassuringly. “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised.

Appeased by this statement, the Little allowed Anakin to eagerly lead him away by the hand. Qui-Gon chuckled to himself as he watched them. 

Plo came to stand next to him. “How are you feeling, Master Jinn?”

“A little tired, but well enough. I appreciate you and the others taking the time to watch over Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said to Plo. “How has he been, truly?”

“He’s been managing,” Plo informed him. “But it is good that you are recovering. He was in a half-way state of regression until you woke up. But despite being fully regressed right now, he’s still been finicky about wearing diapers. Mace and I have found several pairs of soiled leggings hidden under his bed.”

“That’s odd,” Qui-Gon frowned. Obi-Wan never minded wearing diapers, with the exception of when he had been younger and newly classified. That was a long time ago, and he was used to wearing them whether he was in his Little headspace or not. Indeed, now Obi-Wan hardly seemed to notice them, and usually was even comfortable when Qui-Gon changed him in front of others. 

“We had a productive conversation about it,” Plo continued. “I believe that he was trying to avoid regressing for Anakin’s sake. Little Knights are rare, afterall, and they usually don’t take on padawans. He wanted to prove himself capable, even though there was no need for it. Although it seems resolved, I thought it best to inform you.” 

He’d still have to speak with Obi-Wan about this. Littles shouldn’t ever try to repress their instincts. Obi-Wan was a smart, bright, talented Little. What did it matter that he wore diapers and needed special attention from a Caregiver? None of that had stopped him from taking down a karking Sith, for Force’s sake. 

“Thank you,” Qui-Gon said. “My stay in the healing halls was much easier knowing that Obi-Wan and Anakin were in you and Master Windu’s care.”

“Obi-Wan is this temple’s greatest treasure,” Plo responded. “It is always an honor to care for him. And I must say that it is a pleasure to get to know young Skywalker as well. He and Obi-Wan are quite the pair.” 

“Indeed,” Qui-Gon chuckled. It would be interesting to watch Obi-Wan and Anakin throughout the coming years. Despite being a Caregiver, Anakin was still only a child himself right now. As he grew, his and Obi-Wan’s dynamic would surely change, but hopefully for the better. Qui-Gon could sense how deeply the two cared for one another, despite the fact that Anakin had only just come into their lives. 

Moreover, Qui-Gon was getting older. He still had plenty of life and strength left in him, but there was something reassuring in knowing that Obi-Wan was beginning to build a bond with a young, vibrant Caregiver. Once Anakin was grown, he would surely be a great help in caring for the Little. 

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Plo asked. “We are still prepared to stay and offer assistance until you are fully recovered. Perhaps I could make some tea?”

“That would be much appreciated,” Qui-Gon said. “I think I’ll sit down now.” 

As he joined his Little and new padawan at the table, Qui-Gon felt truly at peace for the first time since waking up.