Work Text:
Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up
1. Age 5
Karen was crying softly in her room, listening to her parents screaming at one another through the walls. It always made her scared when they yelled. She clutched her stuffed animals to her chest and wished she were somewhere else, maybe under the sea like Ariel. Kenny had given her the movie for her birthday. It was her favorite. She opened her eyes toward the window and gasped loudly. There was someone in the window, in a costume like she saw on Halloween.
“W-who are you?”
“Someone who cares,” the masked person responded. His voice was deep but he didn’t look like an adult.
“Can you take me away from here?”
The figure looked down and Karen heard him sigh. “I wish I could. But I’m here. Maybe you won’t always be able to see me, but just know, I’ll never leave you.”
Karen sniffled, eyes wide. “Are you my.. my guardian angel?”
Karen thought her rescuer smiled at her. “Something like that. I love you, Karen.”
Karen let go of her stuffed animals and wiped her eyes. “I love you too, guardian angel.”
He was gone out the window with the blink of an eye. Karen fell asleep amidst the yelling, feeling safe.
2. Age 6
Karen had seen her guardian angel a few times since that first time – usually during fights or if she’s sick or that horrible day when she got lost in the supermarket.
This time, however, she’d been waiting for him. He showed up, just like she expected him to, in the window of the foster home while her face was still wet with tears.
“No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will always be here. Do you understand?”
His words made her feel safe and warm. She wanted to be brave for him. She just wasn’t sure she could.
3. Age 6
He saved her the next day at the school. She’d asked Kenny that morning to be at the playground but he wasn’t. Only her guardian angel came. He set off an explosion and then whisked her away up the fire escape. She’d hoped they were going to leave, go far away, and maybe even go back to her mommy because even though home made her scared sometimes she missed her so. But he didn’t; he just took her back inside the school, hand in hers, and told her to stay brave.
She didn’t see Kenny again until it was time to leave on the bus. She loved her brother but her angel never let her down.
4. Age 8
It had been a while since Karen saw her guardian angel. She spent a lot of time with Kenny when he wasn’t out with friends. They’d play in her room and color together. She knew he didn’t have to be spending time with her but she was happy he did. Then things changed, her mom actually got a job and she wasn’t allowed to go home by herself anymore, even though Kenny and Kevin were usually there. She was put in something called a latchkey program and she hated it. The kids weren’t nice and they always took the toys she wanted to play with. The adults gave her a choice of snack but they were stolen from her by the time she sat down. She went into the bathroom and cried, wishing she was anywhere but here. A sound at the window made her startle. She went over to it and saw her guardian angel looking up at her. She opened it and looked down.
“I’m right here. Be strong, Karen.”
“I’ll try, angel.”
The next day no kids took her toys or her snacks and one boy looked like he had a black eye.
Karen smiled around her chocolate milk.
5. Age 10
For the past two years Karen had a fish. She’d named her Lovely and liked to pretend she could swim in the water with her, just like in her favorite film. She came home from school to find Lovely floating at the top of the tank. She yelled for her mom, who was once again passed out drunk on the couch, having gotten fired from her job a few months before.
She tried to get her mom to come, but she refused to move. There was no one else home and so she scooped up Lovely and flushed her down the toilet like she’d seen happen in films. She cried and wished for her angel. When Kenny came home she hugged him tightly and told him what happened. That night she could hear Kenny arguing with her mom.
The noise finally stopped and just as she was falling asleep, he appeared again, at the foot of her bed this time.
“Are you okay?”
“I miss Lovely.”
He reached out and patted her hand. “I know, Karen. Lovely is at peace now. You gave her a nice life.”
She knew it was true, especially because he said it.
“Am I the only one you watch over, angel?”
“Yes.”
Karen smiled sleepily and yawned. “I’m so glad.” She drifted into sleep before she could watch him leave.
+1 Age 12
Karen was walking home, having stayed after school for computer club. She hummed and was looking forward to watching her favorite show when she stopped in her tracks and squinted down the alley between two buildings. She’d know that cape anywhere. She peeked around the building and saw her angel near the trash bin. He wasn’t alone and Karen recognized his companion as Kenny’s friend Kyle. She felt a flare of anger, as he’d promised her he didn’t watch over anyone else.
Karen observed as her angel rested a gloved hand against the brick wall, caging Kyle in with his body. She suddenly realized he might not be watching over him, but wanting to cause harm. She was about to speak up, to tell him Kyle never did anything mean to her and to not hurt him when she saw them both smile. Then her angel leaned forward and kissed Kyle on the mouth like people did on TV.
Karen let out a surprised gasp. It wasn’t the fact that the two boys were kissing that shocked her. No, it was that Kyle was kissing her angel when Karen was pretty sure Kenny liked Kyle in a ‘more than friends’ way. Karen watched Disney films, she knew these things. Karen frowned as she watched them laugh and begin kissing again. She wasn’t sure which one of them she was angrier with.
There was only one thing to do.
She went into Kenny’s room that night. “I have to talk to you.”
Kenny looked concerned. “Are you okay?”
She sat down on Kenny’s bed and sighed. “I’m fine. Listen, Kenny, I don’t know how to say this, but um. The boy you like is in love with my guardian angel.”
Kenny’s eyes widened and Karen felt terrible. She hated the pain her angel was causing her brother. “Your guardian angel?” he asked softly.
Karen huffed. “Yes, I have a guardian angel but that isn’t the point, Kenny! I know you like Kyle and I saw them. They were kissing. They’re totally in love like Ariel and Eric and I’m sorry.”
She felt the tears trying to force their way out but before they could she was enveloped in Kenny’s arms. For some reason, he was smiling against her hair. “I can’t believe you still love that movie so much.”
“Of course I do,” she mumbled into his shirt.
He kissed her hair before pulling back and raising her chin so their eyes met. “Karen, don’t worry okay? Kyle isn’t hurting me. And trust me; he isn’t in love with anyone, least of all your angel.”
Karen shook her head. “You’re wrong. I saw them. I know it.”
“I hope you’re right,” Kenny said quietly, averting his eyes.
Karen looked at him oddly. “But.. why would you..?”
And then it all made sense: the times Kenny wasn’t there, the way her angel seemed to know exactly what was wrong without Karen having to tell him, the way her brother didn’t care that Kyle was kissing someone else.
“Okay, Kenny. If you’re sure,” she said, even though she wanted nothing more than to tell him what she knew to be true. She wouldn’t though. It wasn’t her secret to expose.
“I am. Thanks for looking out for me.”
Karen smiled at him. “You’d do the same for me.”
She went to sleep that night, knowing her angel was right in the next room.
[end]