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He hated not having something to do. Without anything to work on, his mind turned inwards, even with therapy and meds mandated by psych screenings to keep tabs on his mental health.
Introspection without purpose was always dangerous.
He wasn't needed anywhere, and all the usual things he'd do or places he'd go were teeming with personnel who would normally be occupied. But Infinity was in slipspace, and would be for another week or so; there was simply not near as much to do.
And at this time of year, the crowds that he normally paid no heed set him on edge, Spartan hearing picking up the whispers and gossip as he walked past. Too much, too big, too loud.
Too many questions.
How did you survive? Is it true you were one of only three people left? Was it really Blue Team who extracted you, Sullivan and Orenski from Circinus IV?
Are you really friends with the Master Chief?
His heel tapped an irritable beat against the deck of his quarters, where he sat in his bunk. He couldn't watch a show, or even pick up his chatter without seeing one reminder or another that it was April the 26th.
...and on this day in 2526...
On that day, the tether had come down on top of them while they ran for their lives. On that day, an entire planet had died. Monsters swarmed out of the dark, methodically hunting them down. On that day, he'd held a girl in his arms as she died. His only friend...and maybe...
He couldn't recall her face anymore. Just vague impressions. Soft. Kind. Confident.
Beautiful...
He pulled his legs up onto the bed, wrapping his arms around his knees as an empty ache throbbed in his chest.
He hated being alone, and would have given anything for someone to come distract him. But, everyone was busy for the time being. So, he took another breath, and tried his best to ignore the pain and guilt.
It didn't work.