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Peter swings a fist into the punching bag again, emotions roiling.
As his fist makes contact this time, the punching bag snaps off the stand, bursting into a spray of sand as the case hits the wall fifteen feet away. He’s not too surprised, he’s been at this a while and losing more and more of his control the longer he’s stayed. It was only a matter of time before it broke.
“Woah, Underoos. What’s going on here?”
Peter jumps, instincts sending him to the wall where he perches perpendicular to the floor, looking up at Tony Stark as the billionaire slowly raises his eyebrows at him. He clears his throat and sends him a sheepish grin, hopping off the wall back onto the floor.
“Sorry, Mr. Stark. You startled me!”
“Clearly,” he responds. “I didn’t realize that was possible anymore, thanks to the Peter Tingle.”
“Ugh, I told you, we’re calling it the Spidey Sense now,” Peter groans, feeling his face turn red at the reminder of the embarrassing name. “And it is possible still, if I’m distracted.”
“Hm, sorry kiddo, Peter Tingle is sticking around,” Mr. Stark grins, before his expression turns a little more serious. “Feel like talking about whatever it is that’s distracting you? I don’t normally find you in the tower gym pummeling punching bags back into their basic components.”
Peter glances away at this, not really wanting to admit to the roiling emotions he’s feeling. He knows most people don’t expect these emotions in him, especially if they met him after he became Spider-man. He doesn’t even like acknowledging they are there, most days, but if anyone will get it, Mr. Stark will, so he forces himself to look back at his mentor and have this conversation.
“I’m dealing with my emotions here instead of out there,” Peter murmured, gesturing out the window at the rest of the city. “These punching bags can take it, and don’t get hurt. If I was out there right now, I don’t think I’d stick to just webs, and bones are a lot more fragile than most people think.”
“Well,” Tony says, settling in to lean against the wall beside him, “I can’t say that I don’t approve of this method over the other. What’s got you so worked up, though?”
“I’m just… so angry ,” Peter says, tone going harsh as he scrubs a hand through his hair in irritation, pacing a few steps away before stopping and forcing himself to take a deep breath and calm down. “But I promised myself I wouldn’t be that person again, so I’m here, trying to deal with it.”
“Again?”
“Ag- oh, right, you wouldn’t have known.” Peter blinks at his mentor’s raised eyebrows, feeling his cheeks flush as he looks away. “I got bitten by the spider shortly after I turned fourteen, and the couple months or so I was just trying to regain my sense of normal again. I tried to stay under the radar, and tried to stop breaking things around the house. Spider-man wasn’t even a hint of a thought in my head then.”
“What changed?” Tony sounds genuinely curious, and Peter is a little surprised at the fact that apparently his hero origin story had never come up before in any of their conversations - after all, well-adjusted people who have never experienced anything bad don’t exactly decide to fight bad guys on a whim. Though, maybe that is why it never came up before - Peter is well-aware there are some things about Tony’s own origin story the older man would rather not talk about.
“Three months into everything, my… my aunt’s boyfriend Ben was killed. He was a police officer, and was stopping a mugging,” Peter finally answers, voice quiet as he feels the old twinge of grief rear its head. “He didn’t realize the guy was armed, and when he came up, the guy was startled and accidentally shot him when he turned around. The mugger ran off when he realized what happened, and there weren’t any cameras to catch his identity. I - I was walking home from the store and found Ben. He died in my arms.”
Tony sucks in a sharp breath, shifting on his feet almost like he wants to hug Peter but has changed his mind last minute. The expression on his face is trying to stay open and neutral, but Peter can see the signs of the struggle at the most recent revelation.
“Jesus, kid.”
“After that, I… I was so angry . Our family was torn apart and that guy got to walk free, how was that remotely fair? So, fun hero backstory: before I was a hero-vigilante, I was an actual vigilante. Just a hoodie and sweats, with a repurposed scarf over my face so that people couldn’t identify me. I went around attacking muggers, looking for the guy who killed Ben, and I didn’t care that I left them black, blue, and barely conscious at the end. Picked up a few tricks from some of the other vigilantes in the city when they caught on to the fact that I had no idea what I was doing - they told me they didn’t want me to get killed doing what I was so they gave me a few pointers.”
Peter’s lips twitched upwards as he thought about the almost-friends he’d made back at the beginning. They were certainly strange, but kind in their own rough and awkward ways. He’d have to reach out to them again soon, it has been far too long since they’d last spoken, and he’s come a long way since then.
“Other vigilantes?” Tony perks up, a mixture of intense interest and mild alarm in his eyes before he shakes himself. “Wait, sorry, we can talk about that later. What made you become Spider-man?”
“There was a girl,” Peter says quietly, thinking back. “She’d gotten cornered in an alley by three men, and I had almost been too late to help her. I’d gotten there in time though, and after they were all knocked out, she was in tears and thanked me, called me her hero. Up until then, the people who’d been getting mugged either ran away or stayed out of the way whenever I got involved. It was the first time I’d been thanked and called a hero, and that was when I realized I could actually help people with this.”
Tony takes that in for a moment, before he chuckles and shakes his head. Catching sight of Peter’s curious look in his direction, he explains.
“So after that, you just decided to put on a onesie and start swinging around New York as a hero?” he asks, and Peter laughs a little in response before wavering his hand in a so-so motion.
“Kind of? I knew I wanted my face covered, and I needed a way to keep the wind and bright light out of my eyes, so the mask was designed first,” he says. “From there, the rest of the costume developed when I realized that clothes could be an identifying feature too.”
“And thus, the Spider-baby was born,” Tony laughs, and Peter grins back for a moment, before his expression turns a little more serious again.
“I promised myself as soon as I finished the Spider-man mask that I wouldn’t let myself become that person again. I was angry at everyone and I didn’t care who I hurt,” he admits, voice soft as he looks out the window across the city. “I had lost my compassion, and that wasn’t the way May had raised me. So I made myself start to care again, even though it hurt. I remembered that Ben always said that if you can do something to help others, you have a duty to - that with great power comes even greater responsibility. And I decided that I was going to be a hero for the people - the one who stops muggings, helps them with their struggles big or small, someone to make people smile even when all they want to do is cry.”
He takes a deep breath, stepping towards the window again, his hand hovering just above the glass. Tony watches him quietly, knowing that Peter isn’t done speaking, and that he needs to listen to what the teenager has to say.
“I made a promise to myself that I would never lose sight of that again, or let myself become that person consumed by anger again. Because when all a person feels is anger, there’s no room for love, happiness, or empathy left. Because when I was that person,” Peter pauses for the first time, glancing at Tony hesitantly, before continuing, “I probably could have killed someone - either on purpose or on accident - and I’m not entirely sure I would have cared. And that ? That’s something I’m not okay with. So, I have to be better, so much better than that.”
“Well, you’re a hell of a lot better than I was at your age, kiddo I can tell you that,” Tony comments, lacking any idea about what else to say in response to Peter’s admission. “Actually - a lot of people would probably say that you’re better than I am now .”
“And I think that a lot of people are wrong,” Peter says firmly, his voice still soft, looking up at Tony through his lashes. “And I think that you’re a lot better than you think you are.”
Tony blinks at him in surprise, before he turns his face away under the pretense of staring around the room. Peter can tell that it was just a front to hide his emotions, but he doesn’t call the man out and simply waits.
“Well, who can really say,” Tony finally says, before shooting a small, lopsided smile towards Peter. “But thanks for the thought, kiddo. Either way, you should probably be more careful about who you choose as a mentor in the future. But! That still doesn’t explain what set you off in the first place. What’s got you upset?”
At the reminder of why he was punching bags of sand to pieces, Peter scowls lightly, mumbling under his breath until a pointed eyebrow from Tony has him sighing and speaking more clearly.
“Captain America, mostly,” he admits, causing the billionaire’s eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. “I’m… not very happy with him right now.”
“Aren’t kids like you supposed to love him? What happened?” Tony asks, before his eyes light a little in supposed realization. “Ah, was it the airport in Germany? You know he didn’t really want to try and hurt you then. He was being careful.”
“... Sure,” Peter agrees, his tone not really supporting his agreement. “But either way, that’s not why I’m mad at him. He hurt you . After everything you’ve been through together, and he treats you like - like -”
“Kiddo,” Tony says, stepping forward. “I know you’ve seen the same videos the public has seen, but we’ve never gotten along as well as most people assumed. We were friends, and we had respect for each other, but this wasn’t as surprising as you might think. We’d been having issues for a while.”
“But that’s why I’m so angry at Captain America right now. He’s never really tried to see past your public mask. And don’t,” Peter interjects, cutting off Tony as the billionaire opens his mouth to protest, “claim that isn’t true. As you said, I’ve watched interviews. I’ve seen you guys both in person. He may get that you’re more than just your persona, but he doesn’t see it as a persona, which is the problem - he still thinks it’s you. He doesn’t see you .”
Tony opens his mouth to protest, but Peter waves a hand through the air, silencing him before he even really starts.
“But beyond that, he tried to claim he was your friend only to - to betray you for another friend that he wasn’t even sure he still had. He tried to kill you in Siberia after keeping a horrible secret from you for years , while you were still holding back!” Peter begins to get worked up again. “We’ve both seen what the Armor can do when you really want to hurt someone, and what you were doing wasn’t it. Sure, he changed his mind and took out the arc reactor instead, but he left you in a dead suit in a HYDRA base in the middle of nowhere while it was freezing with your ribs caved in, nobody knowing where you were, and no way to call for help. If I didn’t think I might accidentally kill him, I’d really want to punch him, Mr. Stark.”
“I think it takes a bit more than that to break a super-soldier, Underoos, but I appreciate the sentiment.” It’s obviously not all the man wants to say in response to all that, but he appears surprised enough by the rant that it’s all that comes out.
“Mr. Stark, all due respect, but I’ve held together a ferry and lifted an entire building off of myself,” Peter points out, looking skeptical. “There’s a reason I pretty much only use momentum and my webs when fighting, unless I have no other choice.”
“Wha- a building ? When the hell did you get a building dropped on you, and why didn’t KAREN alert me?” Tony demands, looking indignant and more than a little concerned. He shakes his head. “Also, FRIDAY, add it to my to-do list to bump up the testing for the spider-baby, I think we need those strength specs a little sooner than I thought.”
Peter shrugs, not answering the question. It’s not important right now, though he’ll make sure to talk to Tony about it at some point. His mentor will make him talk about it, if nothing else. Tony shakes his head, reading that Peter’s not willing to answer that right now.
“Look, all that aside, I appreciate the concern, Peter,” he says, resting a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “But don’t let what happened between him and me affect you and him, alright?”
“How can it not?” Peter asks plainly, looking up at Tony. He shakes his head. “I know we don’t say these things to each other often, but you matter , Mr. Stark. You matter to me. So when people hurt you, that matters to me too. Okay? And I appreciate you wanting to shield me from the fallout of all this, but you don’t have to. Not with this.”
The look in Tony’s eyes is one that Peter hasn’t seen before. Something soft and scared, and just a little bit shocked and vulnerable too. The quiet click of heels sounds behind them before either of them can say anything else, and the two of them turn to see Pepper walking into the room.
There’s a soft smile on her face as she draws even with them, one arm wrapping around one of Tony’s own. She pecks him on the cheek then smiles down at Peter kindly.
“Well said, Peter,” she says, sounding pleased. Peter flushes a little at the compliment, ducking his head and glancing away for a moment. His eyes return to her just in time to catch her short look at the destroyed punching bag and the uptick of her eyebrows. “Well, it’s about time to eat. Are you planning to stay for dinner tonight, or is your aunt expecting you back?”
“I can stay,” Peter replies, grateful that she isn’t going to call him on the destroyed bag. “Just let me clean things up and I can come join you guys.”
“Sounds good,” Pepper responds, running her free hand through his hair, before turning to Tony with a smirk. “I’ll make sure this one gets cleaned up after being in the shop all day. Come join us upstairs whenever you’re ready! We were thinking of ordering in Thai food tonight.”
Peter grins as Tony complains but allows himself to be dragged out of the room, the hints of a smile on his lips around his complaints. He shakes his head and moves to clean up the mess he made. The broken bag he sets against the wall near the room’s trash can, and the spilled sand he sets the Tower’s version of the Roomba on. He puts away the rest of the equipment, before moving to leave the room.
He feels a lot better after the conversation with Tony, even though forgiveness for Captain America will likely take a little longer to achieve, if it ever comes. But until then, he has this room for his anger, and his aunt, Tony, Pepper, and all his friends to talk to about everything in the meantime.
They’ll get through this to see the other side eventually. He knows they will - he has a feeling, and those have never been wrong yet. So with that, he turns away from the empty gym and the low sun streaming in through the windows, and goes to join the two upstairs for dinner.