Chapter Text
Lance’s heart pretty much flatlined.
He had woken up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water & was passing by the lounge when he saw it.
Keith, sleeping.
He always thought that guy was a vampire or something. Besides the whole living in the desert for a year so it’s not like sunlight burned him to a crisp thing, he certainly seemed to fit the rest of the description. His long dark hair contrasted his pale porcelain skin. He always wore black & kind of even had fangs. Most of all, his iridescent eyes were mesmerizing. It was so easy to get lost in them. When Lance would lock eyes with the other boy even across the other side of a room, Lance always felt like they were-
Okay, wait. No.
Anyways, he was pretty sure vampires never slept according to the movies he’s watched. Well, maybe besides like, inside a coffin for a thousand years? Point is, he had never ever caught the raven-haired boy sleeping the whole time they’ve been stuck on the castle ship. He’s only ever seen a motionless Keith after being knocked out in battle or inside a healing pod, both of those situations always scared Lance to fucking death & just wished that the boy was less reckless so maybe they’d stop happening so frequently.
Lance tip toed carefully over (& not like some kind of creep, thank you very much!) to steal a glance of the sleeping boy who had crashed on the couch, definitely after a mad midnight training session. That guy always pushed himself way too hard. Without his eyebrows narrowed & the absence of a glare on his face, the boy looked peaceful in his sleep. His chest rose up & down through slow even breaths & in the stillness of the room, Lance could hear his soft sleepy heartbeat.
The blue-eyed boy knelt down beside the couch, wanting to get a closer look until he found himself analyzing every detail of Keith’s face. His heart fluttered, knowing he should get up and just get that glass of water already but he couldn’t help it. He already knew that Keith’s skin was clear, but upon real inspection, there was not a single bump or pimple found anywhere on the pale surface. The guy didn’t even have to do anything to get such a flawless complexion!
Unlike Lance, who had to create the perfect alternative skin care routine after he got blasted into space without any of his supplies. His comparison between the two of them made him pout. He’d never admit it out loud to anyone in the universe but god, Keith really did have such a pretty face. His dark eyelashes were long, the curve of his cheekbones & even the angle of his jaw was nice.
Lance made sure he was holding his breath as to not make a single sound. He’d be mortified if he got caught staring so in awe of the smaller boy’s face like this by anyone or by Keith himself.
I bet if I accidentally woke him up, he has a knife ready under his pillow to stab me in the throat with. He mumbled to himself, peering over to the lump underneath the other boy’s head & then realized it wasn’t a pillow. It was his jacket! His one & only fucking olive green baggy jacket he wore all the time. He had been looking all over the ship for that thing a few hours ago! Did he leave it here or- He gasped under his breath. Did Keith steal it?!
Lance could hear how loud his heart was pounding & hoped it wouldn’t wake the sleeping boy. He shook his head. No way, Keith wouldn’t just take his shit like that. Now that he thought about it, he most likely did leave it here earlier himself when he was playing video games with Hunk. The red paladin probably didn’t even notice. It was dark after all & he must’ve just crashed over it instantly when he hit the couch. It was pretty cold tonight but Lance couldn’t just yank it out from underneath Keith’s head. Plus, this was the most at peace he had ever seen the raven-haired boy look. Keith never slept in front of other people, even Shiro had mentioned it to him once. “It makes him feel too vulnerable,” the black paladin had said. Jeez, this guy was the literal epitome of a lone wolf, huh?
Lance froze when Keith suddenly shifted in his sleep. The side of his face was now tucked into the taller boy’s jacket, a hand reached up to grip the fabric in between his fingers. It was right then when the blue paladin suddenly got an amazing idea. He whipped out his phone that he had luckily brought with him & began snapping a few pics of the sleeping boy wrapped up in his jacket. He smiled to himself, thinking he could use them for blackmail needed in the future. (& definitely not to just scroll through & smile at underneath his blanket later) After getting one last picture, Keith suddenly nuzzled his face even deeper into his jacket. The blue-eyed boy watched in amusement but all of a sudden, he needed to hold back the choking sound of his heart getting caught in his throat when he heard Keith mumble something in his sleep.
“Lance.”
The smaller boy had said his name. For a moment, he thought the red paladin had woken up & caught him. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, ready for Keith to stand up & stab him in the throat for spying but it never came. Instead, he opened his eyes to find the boy still sleeping, a fistful of Lance’s jacket in his hand, mouth slightly parted. Fuuuuck, Keith had said his name in his sleep.
Was he dreaming of me?
The way Keith had said it was so soft & gentle. An easy contradiction to all the other times he’s ever said it while he was awake, always through an exasperated sigh or yelled out in irritation. Lance waited a moment to recollect himself & also double checked if Keith was having some kind of nightmare. Lance has had his own share of those on the castle ship. Fighting in an intergalactic war doesn’t bring you much inner peace when you’re alone & looking up at a metal ceiling every night.
Keith still slept on peacefully, his eyebrows didn’t knit together, no rapid movement underneath his eyelids, his breathing remained even. Lance took all this as a good sign & finally, holding his breath once again, got up & left. He’d forgotten all about his journey to the kitchen for a glass of water.
~
Okay, it’s not like it would even be a big deal or anything. Keith mumbled to himself. He had just finished an excruciating routine in the middle of the night & left the training deck, exhausted. Sure, he was to blame for the adrenaline pumping through his veins right now but this was really the only way he knew how to knock himself out to go to sleep. Ever since he was little, it’s always been a problem. It didn’t help when the nightmares had seeped themselves in & just got worse overtime as he got older. Being suddenly shoved into an intergalactic war where he had to not only fight for his life but risk it to protect the lives of an entire team every single day did not help with those nightmares either, just enhanced the visions further until he couldn’t tell what was even real anymore. If he was awake & not training, he felt like he was wasting time. Building a stronger offense was more productive than any other thing he could be doing around the ship anyways & when exhaustion finally caught up to him, his head would just have to hit the pillow & it was lights out.
Guess he really must’ve over did it this time because he stumbled out of the training deck, feeling faint. He decided to take a breather on the couch before getting back up to shower. He had no idea how much time had passed when he opened his eyes again, still groggy. He looked up to check the PST (Pidge’s Standard Time) clock & found out he had passed out for a minute or two. He knew he should get up to go to his room already. He never really liked to fall asleep anywhere else but on his own bed. Partly because he thought it was a bad idea to keep his guard down so openly like that and partly because he would scream in his sleep, trying to run from nightmares.
As much as he told himself to get up, he just felt so comfortable. He never took the time to ever fully lie down on their own couch & never knew how soft it could actually be until now. He probably slumped over & ended up in this position on his side when he fell unconscious, he had only been sitting down earlier. Once he regained proper awareness of his surroundings, he realized that the lump underneath him didn’t feel like a normal pillow. He tilted his head down to see what he had been resting on & recognized the familiar olive-green color instantly. Lance’s jacket.
The boy held his breath even if he was the only one in the room & the others were still fast asleep. He lifted his hand up to run his fingers over the fabric beneath him. The cotton material was soft & when he decided to pressed his face into it, well, nobody would ever find out, right? It smelled nice, even kinda soothing somehow.
It was what he thought the ocean would smell like even if he had never been before but Lance’s eyes lit up every time, he talked about it. Besides the salt-like freshness, it also smelled like citrus fruit. It could be from one of those weird creams the blue paladin was always putting on his face, even though Keith never understood why he thought he needed them.
Keith never wanted anyone in the universe to find out how sappy he could be. He thought Lance was perfect the way he is. Maybe he was a bit bias though, being so fucking in love with him & everything but he couldn’t be the only one who found Lance attractive, right? Sure, he acted like an idiot sometimes but Keith could tell he was just trying to make people laugh. He was strategic & quick thinking when he needed to be, always saving the red paladin’s ass by the skin of his teeth whenever he did something too reckless.
God, it’s not like Keith planned to fall in love with him, you know? One day, his heart just kinda skipped a beat when Lance flashed him a boyish grin after beating him at one of their stupid bets & after that, Keith lost it. The small skip in his heart turned into this weird pounding thing? Like, his heart was pounding against his chest so hard he thought the inside of his body would bruise. Lance knocking on his door when he forgot to come to dinner with left overs. Lance’s shy smile when they were both up late & asked Keith to stay & watch the stars with him. Lance getting all up in his face, not caring about personal space, trying to taunt Keith over something dumb but the raven-haired boy was too distracted by his lips, knuckles turning white as he held himself back from just pulling the idiot in for a kiss.
The pounding turned into this gooey swarm like feeling in his stomach as if butterflies were moving around and eating his guts in there. At first, Keith thought he was dying. Like he picked up some strange disease from one of the planets they stepped on but then noticed that it only happened when he was around Lance. He had even swallowed every last ounce of his pride to ask Shiro for help when it became too much and after he explained how he was feeling, the black paladin just cocked his brow. “That’s called having a crush, Keith.” Then after coming to that realization about himself, his world turned upside down. Maybe even collapsed in on itself or set itself on fire until everything burned to the ground because fuck, he had a crush on Lance.
That earth shattering revelation happened months ago & now Keith was always self-aware of how he acted. Never wanting anyone to catch on, especially the blue paladin, he’d just lash out. Throwing tantrums but giving in to Lance’s goading & was completely aware of all his outbursts, just to keep his true feelings hidden away. He must have done a great job because now, Lance probably hated his guts & Keith couldn’t even blame him. He had dug his own grave & was trying to accept having to lie in it. Though he knew the blue paladin always had his back in battles & they worked well together on missions, he saw the hesitancy in Lance’s eyes before he came over to ask something. Keith brushed it off as distaste which he guessed he rightfully deserved.
The raven-haired boy sighed, recalling all the times he regretted acting up. He wondered if they could have been close friends by now just like Lance was with everyone else if he didn’t act like such an asshole. Maybe Lance would’ve let him borrow his jacket on purpose if he said he felt cold. Keith frowned at himself, feeling pathetic & still doing nothing to get up from the couch. He already knew he’d just take whatever crumbs left he could get, if he had to lie here for just a moment, surrounded in Lance’s scent & the softness of his jacket pressed against his head, it could be let off as a happy accident, he had actually passed out on it earlier after all, if he was found like this, it wouldn’t count.
When he woke up the next morning, it was still too early for breakfast or team training. He sat up and rubbed his eyes then glanced down & remembered that he had slept on Lance’s jacket. The scent had easily lulled him to sleep & honestly, it was the best sleep he’s ever had in years, completely nightmare free & left him feeling refreshed for the rest of the day.
~
Okay, so Lance may have gotten another interesting idea. Actually, it wasn’t just an idea, more of like a super cool... experiment!
Look, the plan was to just get a butt load of pics of Keith sleeping, okay? A total gold mine for blackmail material, that’s all it was, blackmail material. Totally used for that purpose alone, not to look at after a bad day to instantly feel reenergized by the warm fuzziness in his heart. Also, this science experiment wasn’t going to make him a creep, alright? Experiments needed to have its collected data documented, it’s just science logic!
Lance reasoned with himself as he strolled back to the lounge late at night almost a week after - The Jacket Incident. He decided that his plan was to “accidentally” leave his jacket lying around on random nights where Keith usually spent his time just to see if anything interesting, like the red paladin used it as a pillow again or whoa, what if he tried it on & then-
Okay, stop.
Again, he just wanted to see if anything cool would happen, y’know for blackmail. It’s no secret that Keith stayed up doing drills past midnight on the training deck so Lance’s first test would take place right where it all started, tonight. He didn’t want to leave it in the lounge too early just in case someone else spotted it & tried to return it to him but by around this time at night, he knew nobody came out. Pidge may have still been up but always stayed hunched over her desk fixing up mechanic parts or decoding Altean books until she passed out. Keith usually stayed on the deck for hours, even skipping dinner sometimes so it gave Lance plenty (& not at all obvious) time to have forgotten his jacket on the couch again before the red paladin finished up.
After purposely crumpling his jacket over one of the pillows, he chose not to linger around & headed straight back to his room. At first, he was waiting in anticipation to come back later & see if he’d find Keith crashed on the couch, nuzzled into his jacket again or at least hear if he was still training on the other side of the door but the blue paladin ended up dozing off himself. He woke up after an hour to the ringing of an alarm he had set on his phone though & Lance praised past him for his smart thinking. He shuffled his sleeping shoes back on & quietly made his way back to the lounge.
His heart squeezed when he saw exactly what he had wanted. He tried not to tip toe over too excitedly to where the boy had once again collapsed on the couch. Keith’s face was hidden away, pressed into the fabric of his jacket. His hair was a mess & sweat had dried up on the exposed nape of his neck. Lance felt a sudden urge to comb his fingers through that stupid mullet but stopped himself from doing so. He was pretty sure Keith would bite it off if he woke up & he liked having two hands, thank you very much! He couldn’t be the team’s cool ninja sharpshooter if he couldn’t hold his gun!
Lance crouched down beside the couch to be on a more equal level with the sleeping boy. It’s a shame that his face is hidden. He mentally mumbled to himself. He only took a single photo for documentation. There was something comforting about being close to Keith like this, sometimes it could get pretty lonely when you’re all by yourself in your room with complete silence as company. The Cuban boy grew up with a big family, his house was always lively & full. Even if he had tried to spend some time alone, he could hear the music blasting from his sister’s room beside his, the sound of a pan & something sizzling on top of it from the kitchen. There was never ending chatter between his family members that were all loud talkers just like him, something he never thought he’d miss since at the time since the constant noise could drive him crazy.
He smiled to himself solemnly. His mama had once told him to be careful for what he wished for & he should’ve listened. The castle ship was quiet at night, there wasn’t any white noise up in space. The ship’s machinery didn’t even hum. Sometimes, Lance wondered where he’d be right now if he didn’t convince Hunk to sneak out of the dorms with him in hopes to go dancing downtown that night. The boy pulled his knees closer to his chest, a consolation self-hug. He glanced over to Keith, who was still completely knocked out beside him on the couch, his breathing even. He wondered if the raven-haired boy ever had nightmares like he did, wondered if he ever felt lonely. He held his breath when the red paladin’s body shifted slightly. He had pulled his arm up to curl a tighter fist into the jacket’s fabric. His head had titled to the side but most of it remained covered by his long dark hair. After a moment, he started to mumble in his sleep. Lance leaned in, just a little bit. Hopeful to hear his name fall from Keith’s lips again.
“... Nnnh... Hippo...”
Huh? What the fuck is he dreaming about? Lance grinned to himself, wondering if he had heard the word correctly.
“...Wha-?..... Yeah, Hippo...”
Wait, was Tough Guy Keith-Fuck-Off-Or-I’ll-Kill-You Kogane dreaming about hippos?!
“... Nnn... Thanks, Dad...”
Lance’s throat went dry & his heart instantly dropped to his stomach. Back at the Garrison, it was a popular rumor that Keith had lost his parents at his young age. The red paladin had never commented on it & even after being stuck on a giant castle ship in space for almost a whole year, Keith had never mentioned his parents even once. Lance guessed that well, 1) he never went out of his way to ask him about that kinda stuff, it seemed like a sensitive topic. 2) Keith would probably just think he was being mocked & wouldn’t take Lance seriously & then proceed to stab him! Even so, Lance’s heart felt heavy for the other boy who had called out to his dad in his sleep. The blue paladin wasn’t too sure of Keith’s past upbringing or family life but he always assumed that he didn’t really have anybody looking out for him except Shiro. Then when the black paladin was presumed dead, Keith dropped out of the Garrison & went on to live in a abandoned shack in the middle of the desert for a year.
Lance stared at the smaller boy in front of him, taking in what he could despite most of his facial features being hidden away under his mullet. He stared down at the hand, fisted into his jacket. Keith was of course, wearing those dumb fingerless gloves. The boy’s arms were bare, wearing only his black t-shirt, his own jacket flung somewhere nearby or in his room most likely. Lance trailed his eyes over the exposed porcelain skin. It was too dark to make out every little bump or scar that trickled the smaller boy’s body but realizing what he was doing, Lance shot up to his feet as quietly as possible.
I was just curious, not being creepy, okay?
He argued with himself as he left the room, only after turning back to glance at Keith’s sleeping form one more time.
~
He had dreamed about his dad last night.
Surprisingly, it had been a nice dream of a treasured memory. Keith tried to push every memory of his dad to the back of his mind everyday, the pain behind them, still overwhelming sometimes, even if he was no longer a kid. He never knew his mom.
When his dad appeared in his nightmares, there was always a fire and the feeling of smoke filling his lungs. Keith always woke up crying after having those types of dreams but this one was different. It had been a memory of the two of them going to the zoo. It was the first & last time Keith had ever been. 8-year-old him was in awe of all the different animals gathered together in one place & excitedly pulled his dad’s arm around to get to next display.
Little Keith didn’t believe in love at first sight until they had reached the hippo exhibit. He remembers tugging at the hem of his dad’s shirt in excitement, jumping up & down when the first hippo he seen had looked up from her pile of food & laid eyes on him. He had pressed his whole face against the glass as if doing so would actually get him closer to these amazing creatures. He gasped in awe as they emerged in & out of the water or when he saw one of them open their enormous mouth. He remembers being happy.
“So, you having a good first time at the zoo, kiddo?”
“It’s really cool, I’m glad you took me here.”
His dad laughed.
“Of course, & hey, we can always come back again next time I’m off work.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
When Keith woke up, earlier than anybody else once again, he thought that the dream would leave him with heart ache but instead, only a wave of contentment washed over him. Next, the smell of ocean & citrus brought him back to life completely. He glanced down at Lance’s jacket & smiled to himself. Though he felt a tad bit guilty for purposely falling asleep with it this time, Keith couldn’t help but believe that the blue-eyed boy’s jacket was the source of his safe & sound nights. He knew he probably couldn’t out right ask Lance if he could borrow his jacket, being his hated self-proclaimed rival & all, but Keith hoped, just a little, that he’d be granted another calm & quiet nap void of screaming in his sleep again soon.
What Lance didn’t know wouldn’t kill him, right?
~
Of course, Lance obviously knew...
Obviously knew he was being a complete creep!
He’d been leaving his jacket around the lounge area for the past 2 weeks & “forgot” to take it back with him almost every night. It seemed so obvious that he started to believe Keith had already caught on & was just waiting for the perfect time to strike & torment him about the subject or he really had no idea that Lance left his jacket out as bait so that he could see the peaceful expression, free of wrinkles & death glares, on his face.
Plus, Keith was a sleep talker so Lance just couldn’t help it okay? The raven-haired boy never mumbled his name again since that first night the blue paladin had found him on the couch but it was fine because the other things he seemed to have said while he was dreaming were hilarious & so fucking adorable.
Lance started to write down a creepy list of all the things he had mumbled in his sleep so far. He’d still take a few standard photos of Keith for the experiment’s documentation, hiding them all in a secret folder that was locked with a personalized passcode, he wouldn’t want his blackmail stash to be found so easily. The blue paladin found himself getting to know more about the boy while he was practically unconscious compared to when he was actually awake.
One time, Keith had suddenly mumbled the word, tomato, in his sleep. Lance held back from cracking up & jokingly whispered to the boy & asked if he liked them. The red paladin had surprisingly answered back with a soft sleepy “yes.”
Another time, the sleeping boy had mumbled something about stars. That wouldn’t seem so strange but Keith had said & Lance quotes, “Yeah... Eat a star...? They’re tasty...” If Lance could’ve laughed out loud, there would’ve been tears in his eyes. What the fuck was going on in that guy’s mind? The blue paladin found himself wondering if these were the kind of thoughts swirling around in Keith’s head when he’d be leaning back against a wall with his arms crossed & brooding in the corner of a room. Then, when Keith was actually in that said pose, the other boy had to do everything in his power to stifle his giggles at the mere thought of it.
The last note Lance had taken down was a memorable one to say the least but not in a good way. As usual, the blue paladin was enjoying his stupid routine of reveling in Keith’s soft & sleepy form, (Again, just for the experiment!) when the raven-haired boy had uttered the words.
“Hey... you’re pretty....”
“Please... don’t... don’t cry...”
Lance had to suck in a breath when he felt the sharp pang in his chest. His throat suddenly went dry & wondered who the hell Keith was dreaming about. For a moment, he humored himself that the boy was dreaming of him. The blue paladin sighed afterwards, knowing that Keith would never like him like that. He was definitely not Keith’s type. Suddenly, Lance wasn’t having fun anymore & dropped the experiment after that entirely.
~
Keith was getting all the rest Shiro always urged him to take. It was actually such a wonder what a difference a good night’s sleep could make. He felt sharper during training, quicker too. Even social interactions & long missions didn’t leave him feeling as exhausted as they used to. Lance’s jacket was like a lucky charm. Maybe it was the soft feeling of fabric or the sweet scent associated with the blue paladin. Keith could easily imagine the boy lying beside him, even wrapping his arms around his smaller frame & the pleasant thought quickly lulled him to sleep every time. It seemed embarrassing & shameless but Keith couldn’t help it when in return, he woke up feeling refreshed & content. Being nightmare free for almost a whole month felt amazing. He didn’t wake up soaked in his own sweat or with tears running down his face. He didn’t toss & turn in his sleep or scream out somebody’s name believing they were dying in front of him. He wondered if normal people had it this easy, all the time. He thought there was no cure to his troubled sleeping habits but without even looking, he seemed to have found it.
He hadn’t even noticed how often Lance left his jacket lying around in the lounge until one day, he stopped doing so completely. At first, he assumed maybe the boy went to get it washed but instead, Lance started wearing it around 24/7 & okay, it was HIS jacket but Keith couldn’t help but feel upset. He used to wear that thing everywhere & the red paladin thought nothing of it but that was before he found out how comfortable & soft it was & he had secretly wanted to actually try it on but the thought of someone finding himself wrapped in it mortified him. Now, the blue paladin paraded it around in front of him. Through breakfast, lunch, & dinner. On their days off where he’d spend his time goofing off & playing video games with Hunk & Pidge. Keith found himself wanting to rip the jacket off of Lance himself or at most, contemplated on asking the boy if he could borrow it upfront. He was sure Lance would look at him suspiciously & ask why & Keith didn’t think he’d be brave enough to give him an answer.
“Hey, not to sound like a complete creep but one time I fell asleep on your jacket & it changed my life & for the past few weeks I would purposely nuzzle my face into it because your scent would easily lull me to sleep cause I would pretend you were right there beside me. Also, it cured my nightmare problem which I’ve had ever since I was like, eight. Is it cool if I borrow it every night?”
Keith would rather stab himself with his own bayard.
~
Lance felt like a full-blown pervert & do you wanna know why?
It’s because he hadn’t washed his jacket since his little experiment flopped & now, it smelled like Keith. Of course, Lance decided to wear the shit out of it everywhere. He felt guilty sure, but always thought he was going to have a full-on heart attack whenever Keith’s gaze seemed to linger onto him too long during their meals or on days off when he walked into the room. Almost as if his eyes held intent behind him. God, maybe he had known this whole fucking time. Maybe he purposely went along with my stupid experiment just to have the tables turned & use this embarrassing piece of knowledge against me! Double blackmail! Lance huffed to himself & yet, he still kept wearing the jacket. He couldn’t help it, alright? Keith’s smell... comforted him. Wow, that was definitely something a pervert would say. Ugh, shut up! It just really was okay?! It made him feel safe & helped calm his nerves. His anxiety had seemed to evaporate when surrounded in the smokey yet fragrant scent of gentle camp forest fires and pine.
It made him feel like Keith was close, as if the raven-haired boy was right next to him, wrapping his arms around Lance in a hug. Even though, oh my fucking god, Keith would never fucking to that. He remembered the last words he had heard Keith mumble in his sleep & frowned. He already had someone else on his mind, already dreaming of someone who wasn’t Lance. Some lucky guy probably back on Earth that Keith had obviously never mentioned & it made Lance seethe with jealousy.
The thought made the boy take another deep breath & felt satisfied when he was drowning in Keith’s scent once more.
Again, the blue paladin felt like a full-blown pervert.
~
Okay, fuck it. I’m just going to ask him.
Keith finally decided & tried to mentally numb himself completely as he made his way to Lance’s room after dinner. For the last few days, his nightmares began to seep back in & it, for the lack of a better word, sucked. He held his fist up to the blue paladin’s door, hovering out of hesitation for just a brief moment, & finally knocked. The door slid open & revealed the blue-eyed boy, looking fresh out of the shower. The scent that Keith had craved with longing for the past week filled the room in front of him. Wow, the universe is laughing at me, isn’t it? The cosmos wants me dead. Lance didn’t have any of that creamy goop on his face & Keith assumed he hadn’t gotten to his nightly skin care routine yet.
The boy cocked an eyebrow when Keith had been too lost in thought to speak, still standing by the doorway.
“Can I help you, mullet?” Lance broke the silence. “Did you knock on the wrong door?” An amused smile began to grow on his face.
Keith furrowed his brows & opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Why did talking have to be so hard?! He felt his cheeks start to burn. “No.” He managed to squeak out. Lance’s face was visibly filled with confusion & for good reason. Keith wasn’t known to just randomly barge into his room at night & initiate intimate conversations.
“Uh, okay? So, what’s up?” Lance prodded, gesturing to make himself comfortable inside before sitting back on his bed. “I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Keith mumbled, shyly. He stared at the ground while he spoke, not wanting to make eye contact. After another excruciatingly long silence, when he couldn’t help but look up, Lance’s eyes were already on him, filled with curiosity & concern.
Pretty.
Keith thought & found himself with a lump in his throat. He coughed into his fist, cheeks still burning.
“It’s about your jacket.”
~
Lance’s eyes widened.
Oh fuck, he knows.
Keith was in his room, had literally walked up to it himself & knocked. Now, the red paladin was right in front of him about to give him the confrontation & possibly the beating of a life time. As fucked up as it might have sound, Lance was mentally crossing his fingers hoping the distress alarm would go off because the Galra were attacking their ship & they’d have to cut the conversation short to rush into battle. The blue paladin hoped that the insane spike of nervousness wasn’t too obvious on his face.
~
Lance was nervous, Keith could tell. It would be hard to notice the subtle changes in the boy’s body language & tone if one wasn’t paying attention. Though Lance was genuinely lively & liked to joke around, there were times Keith’s instincts told him when it was forced. During all their time up in space, Lance never seemed to let the feeling of home sickness or fear reach his smile. It was Keith who began noticing the twitch of his brows, the way he clenched his fists tighter to the point where his fingers looked white. Sometimes, he’d bounce his leg for just a moment before realizing what he was doing before the others did. There was a difference in his voice too if one listened closely. The dip between words & in the way he spoke were amplified. Others could just write this off as typical normal Lance but the red paladin was perceptive. He cared about the blue-eyed boy, a deep pain would lull in his heart whenever Lance flashed a fake smile in his direction.
Anyways, Lance didn’t look hurt or scared right now, just nervous. Keith tried to quickly analyze how to properly bring up the whole jacket thing until a light bulb lit up in his head.
Oh fuck, he knows.
Lance had probably caught him sleeping on the couch curled up with his jacket one night. Probably taking pity & not wanting to wake him up, he waited until later to retrieve his jacket & made sure to never leave it lying around again! Oh god, maybe seeing Keith like that all over his personal stuff bothered him. He knew how sentimental the boy could be over everything, especially things he kept close to him. Obviously, the jacket would be one of them. It was one of the only pieces of normal earth clothing, a part of home that he missed so dearly, he had left after being shot up in space by a magic robot lion. Keith began to feel guilty for his carelessness & for being selfish.
“I....” Keith’s words began to spill out on their own. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He stated, softly. He was surprised that Lance hadn’t made fun of how red his cheeks were yet. His skin was pale so it was always noticeable. The boy in front of him stayed silent, eyes still wide & confused. “I’ve kinda been, uh, using it without asking you first.” Keith continued, completely mortified just as he expected. He shook his head to urge himself to keep going. “Not like I did something super weird to it or anything, really! I didn’t even actually wear it! I just-“ Keith’s bayard was just in his pocket, he could do it. He could stab himself right here, right now. He still had time. “I’d just, after training & stuff, you would leave it lying on the couch at night... I’d, um, use it as a pillow & stuff...” Keith confessed. He would almost honestly prefer being taken as a hostage in a Galra ship than have this conversation. “So yeah, I’m sorry.” He added. The blue-eyed boy just stared at him, no amused smile played on his face. No hint of a gentle jab or dumb joke about to be made. Just some kind of mirth in his eyes was all that was given away. “Why?” Lance asked, sounding out of breath. Had he been holding it? Keith gulped. It was already embarrassing enough to have to confess that he would basically cuddle with Lance’s jacket, now he had to explain why.
~
“I-It was warm.” Keith closed his eyes, seeming to recall a memory & then he smiled. “& soft.” He continued, absently mindlessly reached out to find the fabric, resting his hand on Lance’s shoulder, almost grazing the exposed skin of his neck. As if the raven-haired boy forgot there was an actual person in it.
Keith looked like he lost himself in trying to remember the tiniest fragments from his dreams. “Ever since I was young, I kind of had trouble sleeping.” Keith sighed, gently trailing his hand down from Lance’s shoulder to his arm, still with a soft smile on his face & his eyes closed. He looks so cute & oh no, he’s touching me! “I... I had nightmares a lot. Almost every night so falling asleep started to scare me.” The boy hummed, gently stroking the folds of the sleeve, just like he would when he was on the couch. “& they just got worse ever since we’ve been stuck up here.” He confessed. “& I would just- They still terrified me when I’d wake up...” His voice was shaky now, Lance could feel his fingers trembling slightly against the fabric. “That’s why you don’t usually catch me falling asleep anywhere.” He shrugged, his hand retreating from Lance. “Night terrors & all that. I would uh, scream in my sleep sometimes & y’know thrash around violently? Yeah, didn’t wanna freak you guys out.” Keith muttered; his head was down now. His body slumped forward as if he was trying to look small, as if he’d just disappear completely so Lance couldn’t see him anymore.
All this time, Keith was having nightmares too? He was only one room over; he could’ve just gone to me if he needed company! He knew that right? No wait, of course not, he wouldn’t, I’m never nice to him even if I actually care & I’m so stupid for not-
“The jacket um, it made it easier to sleep cause it even smelled nice & stuff. Sorry, that sounds super weird but anyways sorry again for not asking for permission to borrow it.” The raven-haired boy rambled quickly & Lance felt like he was the universe’s biggest jerk. Here was Keith, swallowing up all his pride to stumble in here & apologize for just using his jacket as a pillow without asking for permission?! What the quiznack?! Lance would steal his siblings & even Hunk’s stuff & wear them without asking all the time! It hit the blue paladin that Keith actually never caught on to Lance’s stupid experiment after all! But oh god, now he really had to just be honest & spill his guts out about it.
& afterwards, try to recollect his literal guts from the floor after Keith fucking stabs him.
~
“I- I didn’t mean like “why” as in “why did you like to sleep cuddling my jacket?” I meant “why” as in, “why are you even apologizing for doing that?” but uh-“
Yup, he should’ve just stabbed himself with his bayard. The grave was already dug all by himself, he just needed to hop in honestly. His whole face was on fire & he was really on the brink of a full-on heart attack. Wow, my lack of communication skills really are from completely different planet. Lance failed to stifle a laugh; Keith’s head shot up to find Lance trying to cover a grin on his face with his hand. “S-Sorry!” Lance apologized, still smiling though. “I mean, thanks for apologizing and stuff but it’s really not necessary.” The blue-eyed boy shook his head. “Man, did you think I was going to blow up on you over that? You looked like you were about to shit your pants, dude!” “Shut up.” Keith groaned. “You always get mad at me over dumb shit. Remember yesterday when I said that one planet had a green but also blue-ish kinda hue?” “Hey, it’s called aquamarine! Go back to preschool, dropout!” Lance squawked defensively. Keith couldn’t help but throw his head back & laugh himself. When he looked back at the boy, there was a playful grin on his face.
“Hey.” Lance called out.
“Hi.” Keith smiled; happy this conversation had gone better than he’d thought.
“If I tell you something, you have to promise not to stab me.” Lance said, smiling back but it didn’t reach his eyes. This was a fake one & Lance was back to being nervous. Fuck.
“Okay.” Keith agreed, his heart rate rising so quickly, he felt like he was running out of breath.
~
“I knew.” Lance confessed, as steady as his voice allowed. Keith’s jaw dropped but no words came out. “Like, I knew you used my jacket, I would see you on the couch!” The blue paladin continued, trying to make this sound like all one big funny joke so he wouldn’t end this with a restraining order filed against him. Lance sighed. “Actually, I would leave it there on purpose...? For you...?”
“For me...” Keith parroted back his last words, still stunned from shock. Lance gulped. Okay, I’m sure it took massive balls for Keith to come to his room & confess something embarrassing in the name of trust, honesty, & respect, I could do it too! “The first time, yeah, I just happened to catch you passed out after one of your midnight training sessions & stuff but all those times after that were uh, pre mediated.” Keith only blinked owlishly with wide eyes in response. Lance’s throat felt dry, he literally couldn’t tell the difference of if he was standing here in his room on a spaceship or back in the desert where Keith had lived. “At first, I just thought it would be funny to uh, take pictures of you sleeping, y’know for blackmail purposes...?” Lance was rushing his sentences out now. “Of course, not to like actually black mail you! I just, as a joke you know? Like pals playing pranks on pals & all that jazz! & okay, yeah I did take pictures, you can delete them off my phone yourself just please don’t stab me!” He squeezed, his arms flailing in the air now. “But I want you to know that I stopped taking weird photos but kept leaving my jacket there for you because you seemed more well rested the next morning! & I always thought you never got enough sleep in general!” He continued babbling. “& I mean, just because we are being completely honest there, sometimes I would um, check up on you! Just for a little bit! I was just making sure you weren’t um, getting nightmares & stuff....” Lance felt himself running out of steam. “Or y’know drooling all over it...” He added, laughing weakly.
~
Keith was frozen, trying to process all the information that Lance had just dumped on him. Lance had been purposely leaving his jacket up like bait for him?! How did he not even notice that he was practically like a cat who spotted a suspiciously laid out bowl of milk in the middle of nowhere & without any further inspection, just lapped that shit right up?! He thought the feeling rising up from his stomach would be anger & that he would start yelling at Lance for tricking him but he was just as shocked as Lance when instead, he bubbled over with laughter.
He couldn’t even find it in himself to get purposely mad because Lance pulled dumb but harmless stunts all the time & in the end, Keith had been able to get some sleep better than he’s had in years because of it. He muffled his laugher behind his hand after a moment, now it was Lance who was frozen in complete shock, looking like he had just broken Keith or something. Keith just gave him a stupid grin & the boy’s tense shoulders seemed to relax a bit.
“You are weirdly cool with all this...” He mumbled. The comment just made Keith laugh again & even harder. “You are such a weirdo.” He chuckled, wiping a tear he felt forming in the corner of his eye. “You can keep the dumb photos by the way, your weird plan just helped me get a good night’s sleep so the joke is on you, sharpshooter.” Keith rolled his eyes, still smiling.
“I’m wearing the jacket.” Lance stated. Keith, once again, found himself lost in confusion. He cocked a brow. “Uh, yeah? It’s a jacket? Which is made to be worn?” Lance shook his head at that response. “Wait no, quiznack I mean-“ He stood up from his seat beside Keith on his bed. “After a while, yeah I stopped messing with you, that’s why I didn’t leave it there anymore.” He muttered, trying not to sound bitter over the memory of Keith dreaming about someone pretty that he didn’t know.
“But then I-“ He groaned, knowing the most embarrassing part of his confession was coming up. “Look, not to be an even bigger weirdo, since you slept on it so much, when I got it back it sorta smelled like you.” Lance was having second thoughts about not wanting Keith to stab him. “It smelled good.” Oh my god, this was mortifying. He would gladly offer to stab himself right about now. “& like sure, smell or scent whatever wise but like, wearing it after you used it, the smell kinda helped me relax?” Lance’s voice cracked. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry that sounds so gross.” He buried his face in his hands, too ashamed to make eye contact. “I just- it made me feel like someone was close by so I didn’t feel alone & I mean, yeah I liked feeling like I wasn’t alone and so I wouldn’t feel as anxious & I know that’s basically saying that it felt like you were the one that was keeping me company & it felt nice even though yeah, I guess saying out loud is kinda stupid. Okay, I take it back, please stab me.” He rambled. His eyes were squeezed shut the entire time but when silence seemed to be his response, he thought Keith had already walked out on him, pissed. Something painful & ugly twisted in his stomach & he desperately picked his head back up to see if Keith had left him alone.
Of course, the red paladin hadn’t. He was still sitting on Lance’s bed, & not with a death glare on his face, a look of disgust, or a blank slate expression. He was just looking back up at Lance with the smallest smile on his face, looking unaffected by Lance’s awkward & uncomfortable confession. Oh my god, I actually really did break Keith. “Uh-“ He squeaked out but Keith cut him off.
“That’s how I felt too.” He responded; his eyes unwavering from Lance’s. “It always felt like you were close by & it made me feel safe. Maybe that’s why it was easy for me to fall asleep.” His smile softened. Lance gulped. He had another amazing idea, just one more brilliant & amazing idea that could just turn everything into a complete disaster in a single second but his mama had said that if he never asked for something, the answer would always be no so there was no harm in trying. He’d listen to his mama’s words this time.
“Welllllll....” He cleared his throat. “Well, uh, y’know since were both here...” He made a indecipherable gesture with his hands. “Do you maybe uh, want to stay...?” He wondered if the furnace heat of his face would affect his pores. Keith only blinked at him owlishly in response, obviously confused & not wanting to misinterpret anything. “Like, it’s okay if you don’t want to, but if you wanted to uh, stay the night & just y’know sleep next to me...? Since I guess this weird situation seemed to help out the both of us & stuff.” Lance offered softly, very embarrassed. “I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t want you to have nightmares & I-“ He took a deep breath. “Even if you did, I want you to know you can come to me whenever you need to cause... I know how scary they can be & um, I’m here, y’know? You’re not alone & stuff...” Lance fidgeted from side to side. That soft expression on Keith’s face never left the entire time he spoke.
~
What the actual fuck?!
Did Lance just offer to let me spend the night?! Did Lance actually just offer for me to get into bed with him, literally?! & try to sleep next to him?! Is that even possible?! What if I end up not being able to get any sleep because- wow my heart is beating so fucking fast, maybe I might just pass the fuck out instead but fuck, I can’t lose this opportunity right? This is something people do with someone they care about & Lance had even said that when I had a nightmare, I could just come here for his company next time?! Am I just having another fever dream? This can’t be real cause- oh fuck, what if I accidentally start cuddling up to him in my sleep?! What if I subconsciously think he’s his fucking jacket?! Oh nooooooooooooooo, I don’t know if I should-“
Keith was, to put it simply, short circuiting. He must’ve been silent for a moment too long because Lance now seemed dejected & unsure, averting his eyes. “Or I mean, not if it makes you uncomfortable... I really don’t want to force you into feeling like you-“
“No.” Keith shook his head. Lance’s eyes shot back up to look at the other boy. “Uh, no? No as in, “Sorry no, Voltron’s coolest ninja sharpshooter I don’t want to cuddle with you” or No as in, “no, I don’t feel uncomfortable or feeling forced” which I assume that means you’re... down?” Lance said that last part with hesitancy. Keith snorted at the way he imputed the silly nickname he gave himself in there but then recalled the rest of that sentence. Did he say cuddle?! Holy shit, Lance was offering to cuddle with him on purpose?! Keith was about to combust into flames before he even had a chance to cradle Lance in his arms.
Keith shook his head. “I meant no, I’m not uncomfortable. Yes, I’m down to y’know,... cuddle.” He gulped, hoping he didn’t sound so excited. “Or whatever.” He added weakly. The blue paladin’s eyes widened in understanding & then lit up in bright blue, Keith’s personal favorite hue. The taller boy let out a nervous laugh but then sat back down on the bed & lifted up his comforter. He shifted himself to lie down on one side, leaving a big space for Keith to take right next to him. The raven-haired boy froze, still feeling like this was all just a weird fantasy dream he would soon wake up from. “C‘mon, mullet.” Lance groaned, impatiently. “Kick off your shoes & let’s do this! I don’t drool!” He joked. Keith grumbled but complied, taking off his shoes & placing them by the bed before he finally encouraged himself enough to settle down, right beside Lance. He hoped the other boy couldn’t hear his heart pounding. “Okay, maybe I might drool a little.” He whispered. There was a playful grin on his face and seeing Lance not be so nervous made Keith start to feel more relaxed. Keith turned on his side to face Lance, the other boy already doing the same. Keith gave him a shy smile, unsure what to do next.
“So, do you wanna be the big spoon or the little spoon?” Lance asked, gently. Keith furrowed his brows in confusion. “Huh? What do utensils have to do with cuddling?”
~
What do utensils have to do with cuddl-? Oh my god, what a fucking dumbass, I’m so in love with him.
Lance couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. “It means would you rather you cradle me in your arms or do I cradle you in mine?” He couldn’t help but wiggly his brows, he was a natural flirt. “I volunteer to be the little spoon then because if I cradle you in my arms & you pretend to forget & say the whole thing never happened again; I really might stab you.” Keith responded, deadpanned. Lance laughed louder this time before shimmying his way up to have Keith’s head be more leveled with his arm. “Okay, sure tough guy. You can just cradle me in your arms tomorrow instead.” Lance’s own words shocked him; they had left his mouth on their own. He had handed Keith a next time & secretly hoped the red paladin would use it.
~
“Okay.” Keith said easily, lifting his head up a bit as Lance placed his arm underneath it. The red paladin was hesitant to move in closer, worried about invading space but it really seemed like Lance was eagerly waiting for them to embrace. Keith gathered his courage to scoot closer into Lance’s side, his head resting more on the other boy’s chest & almost melted when he heard him sigh above him softly. He knew his face was red & delighted in the fact that he could kill two birds with one stone by nuzzling his face into the cloth of Lance’s t-shirt to hide it. Keith couldn’t help but let out a soft little sigh when Lance wrapped his other arm around his waist & pulled him in a bit closer. The boy’s warm touch made Keith feel safe & secure. He heard the loud pounding of a heart beat, unsure whether it belonged to Lance or him but he actually didn’t care either way.
~
The two of them reveled in the shared heat between them for a moment. It had been a long time since either of them got to share something special with another person like this, Keith especially.
The red paladin was having a difficult time trying to fall asleep for obvious reasons. He wasn’t scared of having nightmares, he just wanted to remain conscious for as long as possible tonight because he was in Lance’s bed with Lance who had his arms wrapped around him! When Keith would try to take a peek, he found that Lance’s eyes remained shut. The taller boy would rub gentle soothing circles on Keith’s hip bone absentmindedly. He had rested his head on top of Keith’s own & nuzzled his face into the thick dark sea of hair. Keith was already feeling more than content just lying in bed with Lance like this but suddenly, the other boy’s arm retracted from his waist, Keith murmured in disagreement but sighed softly when Lance began to thread his fingers through his hair instead.
Keith let himself melt into the touch instantly, he decided that if Lance was okay with this, there wasn’t a reason to feel guilty or that nervous, right? Though the red paladin would’ve never in a million years believe that Lance would have offered to voluntarily share a bed with him, here they were. The blue paladin hadn’t seemed to hate him as much as he thought after all. Lance made him feel safe & the feeling of his hair being played with in between those long beautiful fingers made Keith’s heart flutter. He hadn’t realized he was smiling until Lance whispered:
“Y’know, you look cute when you smile like that, mullet. You should do it more often.”
Keith’s eyes shot open at that sarcasm lacking statement & was caught off guard when he found the boy with blue eyes looking at him, all soft & sleepy. His face was so close that if Keith leaned in any closer, he could feel Lance’s breath graze his skin. Keith hummed.
“Well, I think you have pretty eyes, Lance.” He lifted his hand & cupped the other boy’s cheek, stroking his cheek. “Always have.”
The blue paladin averted his eyes from him for a moment, completely flustered over the compliment. “Can I ask you a question? Like hypothetically? It’s for my experiment.” The blue-eyed boy prompted, after recomposing himself. Keith snorted but then nodded his head against the other paladin’s chest. There was a brief moment of silence between them before Lance continued.
“Hypothetically, If I were to try to kiss you right now, what would you do?” Lance asked, breathlessly. Their eyes locked on one another. Keith could feel the heat off of everywhere Lance touched him. He basked in the boy’s beauty. He reveled in his laugh. He found comfort in his scent that surrounded them. Fuck.
“I’d kiss you back.” The raven-haired boy answered in a heartbeat.
& just like that, Lance’s soft pair of lips were suddenly pressed against his own.