Chapter Text
Instead of just the team moms and Oikawa, everyone was coming over to Suga's house. He didn't mind this, of course. In fact, he was overjoyed to have this many people visiting on Valentine's Day. He loved platonic cuddles and hanging out with all his friends, especially when he can't spend the day with the person he liked. Scratch that, loved.
Suga had been crushing on Daichi since their first year. He had assumed it was just a small bit of affection that he reserved for the broad-shouldered man, but it slowly grew into more. He had tried, and failed, several times to get rid of his feelings.
He was ready for the night ahead. He could finally talk to someone about it. Someone who might actually understand. Many people, actually.
He decided to go start setting up. He had only just finished lunch, but he wasn't sure when the first guests would arrive. Might as well be ready.
---
Akaashi put his phone in his pocket. Kenma had just texted, saying that he was ready to go. Akaashi was already on his way to pick the dual-haired boy up. It didn't take long for him to arrive. They lived surprisingly close for going to different schools.
Akaashi knocked on the front door and was almost immediately met with the face of a very tired Kenma. He looked down at the shorter boy and offered a small, comforting smile. He could tell when his best friend was anxious, and now was one of those times.
"Hey, you ready?" Akaashi asked his friend. He was met with a simple nod in response. Pleasantries and greetings weren't really necessary, not when it was just the two of them.
Both of them adjusted their grips on their bags before going on their way to the train station. The walk was quiet, the sounds of their shoes on the ground and Kenma's button-clicking being the only noise. It was a comfortable silence for the two. They weren't very talkative people, but they understood each other enough to not feel awkward during moments like these.
The walk seemed to pass by quickly. When they arrived, Akaashi paid for Kenma's train ticket. This was met with many quiet protests from the latter, all of which were ignored.
"You can pay me back by enjoying yourself during our mini-vacation," was Akaashi's response when Kenma had asked.
The train seemed to appear out of nowhere, both of them too distracted by their conversation to notice when it pulled up at first. They rushed on, Akaashi holding Kenma's hand to prevent possible separation. It was more crowded than usual, it being Valentine's Day and all that, but they managed to find a couple of seats. They settled in, preparing for the two hour ride ahead.
Akaashi glanced over to check on Kenma. "You okay?" He asked.
Kenma nodded and scooted a little closer. To the public, they probably looked like just another couple out for the holiday. They both knew that that wasn't true though, and they both had their individual "crushes".
The ride was long and boring. Kenma played his games for the most part, but he did take a roughly 30 minute nap somewhere in the middle. Akaashi was busy in his own way, watching the view and ignoring Bokuto's constant flow of texts and calls. He also fell asleep for some time, but awoke at the sounds of frustration his friend was making.
"Everything alright?" He asked. Kenma didn't look up from his game, but it was clear that he was listening.
"Yeah, just stuck on this level. Sorry if I woke you," Kenma softly responded.
"It's alright, it's probably better if I stay awake anyway. We'll be in Miyagi in," he paused to check the time on his phone. They left at 11:30, and it was currently 1:24. "Oh, about ten minutes."
Kenma just nodded. The only sign that he was relieved by that statement was the slight relaxation of his shoulders.
Ten minutes slowly melted into six minutes, then four, and finally one. The overhead announcements that come on before every stop on the train recited their usual message to the passengers. Something to do with watching the doors and having a good day. Akaashi wasn't really paying attention, more focused on getting their things together and making sure that Kenma was ready to go. He really was a mom.
As soon as the doors opened, Akaashi grabbed Kenma's hand and exited the cramped space. They made their way to the front of the station and stopped at a bench to look up the directions to Suga's place. It seemed to be a short walk, fortunately. Kenma didn't look thrilled to be out-and-about.
"It shouldn't take too long. GPS says twenty minutes." Akaashi reassured him. Kenma just sighed and nodded. Twenty minutes wasn't bad, but definitely more than he wanted to walk.
They stood up and began their little journey. Akaashi had to steer Kenma away from a few things that were laying on the sidewalk, as he was too distracted to really be paying attention to his surroundings. Said sidewalk seemed to stretch on forever, but they arrived after twenty minutes, just as the GSP had told them.
Akaashi told Kenma to put his PSP away for a bit and knocked on the door.
---
Suga was regretting his decision to invite everyone over.
Semi and Shirabu had arrived first, around one o'clock, and it had been nothing but arguing and sexual tension since. Semi wasn't lying when he said it was going to be awful for him. The poor boy wanted nothing more than to kiss the shorter male until neither of them could breathe and it was obvious to everyone, excluding said shorter male.
Even when the doorbell rang, their bickering didn't stop. Suga rushed to the door, seeking any sort of break. He wasn't as relieved as he should've been when Oikawa was the one at the door. Sure, they were friends, but that meant that Suga knew just how insufferable the other could be. Especially combined with the chaos that the two Shiratorizawa players provided.
Oikawa was surprisingly tame and seemed to be a bit down. Suga knew that his demeanor would be questioned it later, when it was the group's designated "feelings time".
Akaashi and Kenma were the next to arrive. The quiet knock was almost drowned out by the loud-as-ever arguing from Semi and Shirabu, but Suga heard it. Relief overcame him when he saw the reserved appearance of the Fukurodani setter. It was great to see Kenma too, but at least Akaashi could try to calm down the others. Greetings were exchanged and Suga invited them inside.
After seeing the state of things, Akaashi did exactly what the silver-haired setter was hoping he would do. Semi and Shirabu settled down after a mild scolding and disappointed look. Everyone settled into some casual conversation, though Kenma stayed mostly silent. He just played his games, leaning on Akaashi.
Kageyama arrived next, freshly showered after (probably) volleyball practice with Hinata. Then it was Yahaba, who seemed frustrated about something. Kogane arrived a little later, all smiles and excitement. He brightened the room up, tenfold. Atsumu was the last to arrive, grumbling complaints about Osamu and the "long-ass train ride". It was a little past four o'clock when everyone was finally there and everything was set up.
Things started out calm and quiet. Since there were so many people, everyone seemed to be split into their own little mini-groups of conversation. This continued until about 5:30, when Oikawa started complaining about being hungry.
"I brought pizza-making stuff. It's in the fridge," Semi spoke up. Everyone seemed to jump up with excitement at hearing that. Of course, Akaashi and Kenma were much more composed with their outbursts (if you could even call it that).
"Then what are we waiting for? Come on!" Oikawa shouted as he dragged Suga to the kitchen, both grinning.
Kogane and Atsumu just yelled "PIZZAAAAAAA!!!," and ran to the kitchen. Kageyama and Shirabu followed, both awkwardly navigating around the pillows and blankets that had been set up before Atsumu had arrived. Semi may or may not have been biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling fondly at his younger counterpart's actions. Yahaba just snickered and walked over it all, not really caring. If he started taking more careful steps after noticing Akaashi's slightly raised eyebrow, no one would be able to tell. Semi hopped over the back of the couch that he was sitting on and jogged to the kitchen, which wasn't really necessary because of how close it was. Akaashi and Kenma were the last to go. Akaashi because he wanted to be polite, and Kenma because he didn't want to go without Akaashi.
Pizza making was a messy, but fun, process. Kogane almost knocked everything off the counters, multiple times. Suga had to assure him that it was fine after hearing his profuse apologies. A food fight almost broke out between Yahaba and Shirabu, but Semi quickly put a stop to that. The rest of the group was surprisingly quiet and finished making their pizzas quickly. While they were all waiting for the pizzas to cook, they picked out a movie to watch. Oikawa insisted that they watch War of the Worlds, or any alien movie, but they settled on Misery instead. When the oven beeped, signaling the end of the cook timer, Suga and Yahaba went to take the pizzas out. They had to wait a few minutes before they cooled, so they poured everyone drinks. After a few minutes, everyone was served and smiling.
"Everyone ready?" Suga asked the group, making sure his guests were comfortable enough to start the movie. He was met with a collection of nods and "yes, ma'am"'s. (Atsumu got a pillow to the face for that one.) Suga started the movie, and everyone ate quietly.
---
Semi was not okay. That's not entirely true, he was very much enjoying himself. He loved being at Suga's place and hanging out with all of their setter friends. He didn't, however, enjoy suffering through his painful gay panic because Shirabu was leaning on his shoulder. They had thrown their trash away after watching Misery, and everyone was cuddled up with someone while they watched Philadelphia. It was such a sad movie that they couldn't not cuddle up. Which is how Kenma ended up in Akaashi's lap, Kageyama and Kogane bundled up in a bunch of blankets, Oikawa and Suga practically glued together, Atsumu dramatically draped across Yahaba's lap, and Shirabu simply leaning his head on Semi's shoulder. That really shouldn't be a problem, but Semi was so fucking gay for Shirabu. He was so distracted by the slight contact that he almost missed the sound of several sniffles around the room. Almost everyone was crying, and he knew exactly why. The movie was almost over, and possibly the most emotional scene in the whole movie shone bright on the screen. He wasn't as affected, as he had seen the movie several times. What shocked him, though, was that he could feel small drops of water landing on his shoulder.
Shirabu was crying. Semi would've laughed if he wasn't so surprised. He had never seen the smaller male show any emotion other than anger or irritation, except for the few smiles he had caught on accident. Now, he was leaning on the ombre-haired boy's shoulder and crying. Semi was tempted to reach his arm around him and hold him close, but he didn't want to risk losing this small moment of peace between them. After finally deciding against making a move, Shirabu did just that. At least, Semi thought he was making a move. Shirabu hugged his arm and nuzzled his face into the taller's shoulder. It was as if he was trying to hide, and it was so cute. Semi was sure that no one was paying attention, which he was thankful for. That was, until he caught Kenma's slightly glazed-over eyes from across the room. He couldn't tell what that look meant, but he hoped that it meant he wouldn't say or do anything.
The movie ended and Shirabu practically jolted away from Semi. It was probably just so no one else saw, which made sense, but it still kinda hurt. He immediately missed the warmth of another body curled up against his. He wanted so badly to kiss and hug and sleep with (yes, actually sleep) him, but he knew he couldn't have that. He was just too much of a coward to confess, and Shirabu was clearly not interested if his snarky comebacks and rude attitude were anything to go off of. Besides, he was happy to just be by the younger's side. At least, that's what he told himself.
---
Kenma was feeling surprisingly happy, despite being forced to converse with people outside of his direct friend group. He was really starting to warm up to these people, which didn't scared him as much as it usually did. He was glad to have Akaashi with him. They were as close as two can get without crossing the line of things being platonic. Neither of them harbored romantic feelings towards the other, and they both knew that.
Semi and Shirabu, however, were clearly interested in each other. Kenma had seen Shirabu practically in the pinch server's lap during the movie. The tears in his eyes, from the movie, only blurred his vision slightly as he made eye contact with said pinch server. He was able to pick out a few emotions from the short bit of eye contact. Semi seemed to be very distracted, tense, worried, and hopeful. Kenma mentally sympathized with him, having felt those same things every time a certain messy-haired middle blocker showed any sort of interest in him.
Kenma knew that Semi probably didn't want anyone else to know, but Kenma decided that giving the two a little nudge in the right direction wouldn't hurt. "We should play a game," Kenma softly spoke up after the movie finished.
Akaashi nodded. "I think that would be a wonderful idea. Any suggestions?"
Oikawa bolted up, successfully shoving Suga over. "Never have I ever!" He fell back over after being met with a pillow to the face from Yahaba. Oikawa squawked in indignation. "Hey!"
Suga giggled and sat back up. "Seven minutes in heaven?" Kenma scrunched his nose up slighty, his only tell for how disturbed by that he was. Suga just wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Atsumu grinned. "Hell yea."
Kenma didn't even want to hear what Semi was about to say. It was probably something equally as terrible, given the huge smirk on his face. He cut off the third year with his own suggestion. "I was thinking.. truth or dare?" He knew it was cliche, but he had a plan. One that he hoped would lessen the number of pining singles in their little group.
Akaashi gave Kenma a slightly confused look, but agreed nonetheless. Once everyone was on board, they gathered into a large circle. Kenma still sat in Akaashi's lap, which neither of them minded. Yahaba sat to their right, followed by Shirabu, Semi, Suga, Oikawa, Atsumu, Kogane, and finally Kageyama on their left.
"Who's going first?" Kogane excitedly asked. Atsumu raised his hand in response. It was such a childish move that made a few of the saltier members chuckle quietly.
"Truth or dare, Tsumubabe?" Oikawa asked, grinning. Of course, Atsumu chose dare. He claimed "I'm no coward like 'Samu!" Oikawa then dared him to lick the outside doornob, on the front door. Everyone cringed when he agreed without hesitation. He thoroughly rinsed his mouth out afterwards.
After making sure the horrid taste was gone, Atsumu turned to Yahaba and asked "truth or dare?" Yahaba chose truth and immediately regretted his decision when Shirabu whispered something into Atsumu's ear. He grinned. "What happened between ya and mad-dog after the Wall Slam™?" Yahaba visibly tensed and narrowed his eyes into a sharp glare. "First of all, stop calling him that. Secondly, that's none of your business."
"Are you forfeiting?" Akaashi asked. He may not look it, but he was secretly enjoying the starts of chaos. "If so, I believe you have to do a dare instead."
Yahaba scowled. "Dare me, then." That was an equally terrible idea.
Atsumu smirked. "Tell us what happened between ya two after the Wall Slam™." Yea, no surprise there. Yahaba looked ready to murder though.
Kageyama spoke up for the first time since the game started. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to, Yahaba-san."
Yahaba shook his head and sighed. "I guess now is as good a time as any to get it off my chest." Everyone seemed to lean in closer in anticipation. "We lost that match, obviously, so Kyoutani was more upset than usual. I tried to talk to him after the match, to apologize for slamming him against the wall like that. I found him, uh, crying. He wasn't too thrilled that I had found him. He was pretty pissed, actually. Told me to fuck off and that if it weren't for my stupid outburst everything would've been fine. He stormed off after that. I was too shocked to respond, definitely not in the state of mind to chase after the angry asshole. We have our fights, sure, but this one hurt more. We never really talked about it after that. We've been getting along more recently, I think. Just sucks to think about, y'know?" By the end of his explanation, he was looking down at his hands and picking at the skin around his nails.
Everyone seemed to be sympathizing with Yahaba, all having experienced their own moments like that. Kogane was almost crying. He was a bit too emotional for Kenma's taste, but he understood. Oikawa, however, seemed to have a revelation of sorts. "So that's why he seemed so much more agitated on the bus ride back," he exclaimed. Everyone shot him a glare, including Yahaba.
Yahaba sighed and wiped his face with his hands. "Ok, Akaashi. Truth or dare?" Kenma could tell the he just wanted to move on with the game. He would've felt bad for suggesting it if he didn't still have a plan to see though.
Akaashi stiffened slightly at the sudden attention. "Truth," he answered. Kenma leaned over, almost falling out of Akaashi's lap, to whisper something into Yahaba's ear. Kenma was prepared for the second he would surely be yanked back to spare his friend the shame of being exposed, but it never came. He successfully delivered the message, and Yahaba's eyes shone with a mischievous glint.
"Why do you wear eyeliner?" It may not be noticeable to most, but Akaashi did wear a little bit of eyeliner and some other barely-noticeable makeup.
Akaashi blushed slightly at the realization of what Kenma was doing. His voice was quieter than usual as he replied. "Bokuto-san said that it looks good with my eyes." It was obvious that he was embarrassed by this confession, but Atsumu and Shirabu just laughed. "Holy shit, you're worse than me," the Inarizaki player exclaimed.
Akaashi didn't seem to care about this, as he quickly tried to shift the conversation to something else. "Kenma, truth or dare?"
Kenma was not prepared for that, even if he did see it coming. "Truth, I guess."
He did not like the look on Akaashi's face. "Is it true that you get really jealous when Kuroo-san starts talking to objectively pretty girls?" There it was. He just nodded slightly and sank even more into his friend's lap.
Suga offered a soft smile. "No need to be embarrassed. We're all hopelessly in love here." Kageyama cleared his throat. "Right, sorry. Most of us are hopelessly in love here," he corrected. He gave Kageyama an apologetic look.
"Shirabu, truth or dare?" Kenma mumbled out the question, wanting to move on.
Shirabu raised an eyebrow, seemingly suspicious. "Dare," he answered.
"I dare you to sit in Semi's lap for the rest of the game," he delivered smoothly. Shirabu's cheeks flushed violently at hearing that. He followed through anyway, huffing about how "fucking stupid" the whole game was. Semi seemed unsure of how to react. It was clear that he wanted to do something, but didn't want to make things weird. His face was also fairly red, though not as much as the other's was. Kenma internally smirked, proud of how flustered he made the two of them.
Shirabu turned to Kageyama, his venomous glare causing the first year to stiffen. "Truth or dare?"
Kageyama answered quickly, probably to avoid angering Shirabu. "Dare!" He was definitely going to regret that, and he did as he heard the next words out of the older's mouth. "I dare you to let Akaashi do your makeup. I'm assuming Suga-san has some."
Suga nodded and grinned. "Hell yea, I do!" He seemed oddly excited about that dare. "I've been trying to get the first years to let me do their makeup for ages!" Ah, that's why.
Kageyama sighed. "Okay, do I have to do it right now?" His question was met with a bunch of excited nods from the group.
Kenma was forced out of his very comfortable spot in Akaashi's lap so they could actually complete the dare. It didn't take long, and Kenma was quickly allowed back into his spot. Akaashi did a very good job. He didn't go overboard, so it was a nice, natural look. Kageyama didn't seem to mind too much either.
Kageyama turned to Suga and asked the question, "truth or dare?" Suga seemed completely confident in his choice to shout "dare!" Kenma didn't understand how anyone could be so enthusiastic to play such a scary game, especially since he wasn't even the one to suggest it.
"I dare you to imitate Nishinoya-san," Kageyama spoke plainly. Suga just grinned and stood up. Everyone knew what was coming and scooted away accordingly.
"Rollinggggg THUNDERRRRR!!" He yelled as he rolled dramatically on the floor. Everyone was laughing or smiling at his ridiculousness. "Okay, okay. Semi, truth or dare?" He asked as he sat back down.
Semi, whose hand was now resting on Shirabu's knee, grinned as he answered. "Dare, for sure."
Suga clearly had the same idea as Kenma, if that dangerous glint in his eyes was anything to go off of. "I dare you to hold Shirabu while he's sitting there. With your arms actually around his waist and your head by his shoulder. His back against your chest, too! Kinda like.. a couple." He smirked evily. It's official, Kenma is never inviting him to Tokyo. That man is evil. Semi followed through anyway, blushing almost as much as the one in his arms was.
"Kogane, truth or dare?" Semi asked the excited first year. No one was surprised to hear the animated outburst of "dare!"
Semi smirked. Apparently, not even Kogane was safe from the chaos. "I dare you to call Sakunami and give him a compliment of your choice." Kenma was surprised by how tame that was, but Kogane blushed anyway. He fished his phone out from his bag and dialed his crush's number, only fumbling a few times. Atsumu told him to put it on speaker, so he did.
The sound of the phone being picked up and an electronic-sounding "hello?" caused Kogane to tense up. "Hey, Saku! Are you busy?" The tall kid flushed in embarrassment from his use of the cute nickname.
"Hey, Ko! No, I'm free. What's up?" Everyone's hearts melted, even Kenma's. They had nicknames for each other! How were they single and still act this sweet?! That shouldn't be legal!
"Just wanted to tell you how much I admire your volleyball skills! You're so good at everything!" Semi gave him a look that read "that's not what I meant and you know it". Kogane gulped and continued before Sakunami could say anything. "And.. you're really pretty!" His whole face was red at this point.
"O-oh, Thanks! Um, I think you're really cool too!" His embarrassment was evident, even through the phone. "Was that all?"
"Uh, yea. See you tomorrow!" Kogane smiled at the phone. They all heard a small "see ya!" before he hung up. Kenma was pretty sure that was enough sweetness to last him a lifetime.
Atsumu groaned. "How are ya so fuckin' sweet?!"
"Language, dumbass. You're ruining the moment," Yahaba kicked him over from across their circle.
"It's already been ruined, thanks to you two," Suga glared at them, though it held no real bite.
Kogane seemed to be lost in his own world when Kenma looked over. He was hiding his face in his hands. His pose could easily be mistaken for one of someone who was crying, but they all knew better. He was flustered.
Akaashi smiled softly at the sight. "It's your turn to ask someone, Kogane, and I'm pretty sure Oikawa-san is the only one who hasn't done anything."
Kogane nodded and sat up again. Most of the red had disappeared from his face, though his cheeks were still tinted pink. "Oikawa-san! Truth or dare?"
Oikawa pretended to be deep in thought. Ever the actor. "Hm, truth." His smile was so obviously fake, but Kenma wasn't sure if anyone else noticed how forced it was.
"Why have you been so quiet this whole time? You're usually much more talkative!" At least someone noticed his silence.
Oikawa's smile faltered. "What do you mean? I've been talking." Something was definitely wrong, and now it was obvious to everyone.
Suga sighed. "Alright, feelings time! Everyone get comfy!"
Kenma and Akaashi were pretty much stuck together, so Akaashi just pulled a blanket over their shoulders while Kenma hugged a pillow. Shirabu stayed in Semi's lap, now leaning back against the taller male. They looked so embarrassed and content. Kenma both loved and hated it. Kogane wrapped himself and Kageyama together in a blanket again. Kenma never thought that they would bond like that, but they seemed comfortable. Atsumu was, once again, draped across Yahaba's lap. It looked extremely uncomfortable, but Kenma wasn't one to judge. Oikawa and Suga were also bundled up together. It was basically the same setup that they had for the movies, but everyone was closer.
"Okay, now that everyone is settled, I think Oikawa should go first." Suga offered, gently nudging his friend.
---
Oikawa did not want to talk about his feelings. Not after the shitfest that was yesterday. He knew that there was no point in avoiding it, not with Kenma's knowing gaze on him, but he just wanted to run away. He decided to play dumb. At least he could stall to come up with some lazy excuse later.
"Do I really have to?" He whined, in his signature manner. They might back off if he acted normal.
Suga gave him the Mom Look™. "Yes, you have to." Well, that's the end of that conversation.
Oikawa sighed. "Fine, I'll talk. It's not like there's much to say anyway." There's that Look™ again, this time from Suga and Semi. "Alright, alright. Yeah, something's been bothering me. I guess I just feel like - I don't know - like I'm not enough? Not just in volleyball, in everything. We lost our ticket to nationals to Karasuno - no offence, you guys deserved it - and my whole team," he paused to glance at Yahaba. "Our whole team was super bummed about it. I feet like everyone blamed me, still blame me. I know Iwa-chan blamed himself, he told me that he did, but the feeling is still there. Maybe he was trying to spare my feelings? I know it's stupid, he told me as much." He stopped. He kept his gaze trained on his hands, hoping they would leave it at that.
It was clear that they weren't going to drop it when Kenma spoke up. "There's more, isn't there." It was a statement more than a question. Those damned cat eyes.
Oikawa continued, despite his want not to. "Yeah, there is. Iwa-chan started meeting up with this girl after school lately, instead of walking home with me like usual. He says that she's just his project partner, but the look he gives her says otherwise. I may be a stuck-up brat, but I'm not blind." He was thankful that no one spoke up. He kept going. "Yesterday, I got into an argument with Date Tech's captain, Futakuchi. He called me out for some shit and I did it back. It really shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, but he brought in Iwa-chan and it hurt. It hurt to know that he's right, Iwa-chan isn't mine. He'll find some pretty girl to marry and start a family with while I'm off somewhere else getting drunk off my ass wondering why he doesn't call anymore. Basically, I'm a mess of stupid emotions that I want to get rid of." He wasn't sure when he started crying, but there was a small puddle of water gathering on the backs of his hands. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes, willing himself to stop looking so pathetic. That's what he was. Pathetic.
Oikawa felt Suga pull him into a hug, and he gratefully accepted the comfort. He buried his face in his friend's shoulder and let himself cry. He knew he probably looked ridiculous, crying about a boy, but he didn't care. Suga's whispered words of comfort and his arms rubbing his back with a gentleness that only mothers seemed to be capable of. It didn't take long before he felt more arms encircle his and Suga's little bundle. He didn't bother looking up, but he guessed it was probably the people who weren't in someone else's lap.
"Sorry, I'm a mess," he croaked out. He was quickly hushed by several people around him. Many "you're not a mess"'s and "it's okay, let is out"'s were audible around him.
Oikawa sniffled and wiped at his eyes after everyone went to sit back down. He rested his chin on Suga's shoulder and looked up at him. (Yes, up. He was slouching.)
Suga just smiled at him and continued rubbing his back. "Better, hun?" His voice was quiet and soothing.
Oikawa nodded and turned his head to look at the others. "Who's next?"
---
The silence that followed Oikawa's question wasn't surprising. No one wanted to talk about their problems. Especially not when they were all related to a certain middle blocker with terribly charming bedhead. Charming? Get it together, Kenma.
Oikawa spoke up again, and - oh no, he was looking right at Kenma. "You should go, Ken-chan."
Of course Oikawa would single him out. It's not like he was discrete with his "knowing looks", or whatever. "Why can't Akaashi go?" Kenma argued. He knew his attempts were futile, but he had to try.
"Don't drag me down with you, just vent. None of us are going to judge you. We're all in the same boat, in one way or another." Damn, his best friend always knew just what to say.
Kenma sighed, giving up rather quickly. "Fine, I'll talk. There's nothing really specific bothering me though. Just the usual anxiety, I guess. I've felt more tired than I normally do lately. I can't stay out in public as long as I used to be able to, which wasn't long anyway. Sometimes I think it bothers Kuroo. I think that all the time, actually. Especially when he leaves whatever he's doing just because I can't be there any longer. I've told him that he doesn't have to do that, but he doesn't listen. He just tells me that he'd rather be with me anyway. I think it's bullshit. He probably just pities me or something. Sometimes it gets my hopes up, but there's no way he likes me like that. There are so many people out there who are so much better than me. People who he can actually go out with and don't freak out every time someone gets a little too close." By the end of his little rant, he was completely curled up in Akaashi's lap, arms secured around him. He wasn't crying like Oikawa was, but he definitely felt like it.
Yahaba offered Kenma a hand to hold. Most people just jumped straight to physical contact, so this small act made Kenma feel a little bit better. He declined anyway, but smiled as thanks. He just wanted to curl up and sleep or play video games with Kuroo, as selfish as that sounded.
"I think Shirabu should go next," he spoke out nonchalantly.
---
Of course. Of fucking course. How the hell was Shirabu supposed to talk about his love life problems when he was sitting in the source of those problems' lap?! There was no getting out of it, that much was obvious. He was still pissed about it though. He knew Kenma was targeting him. Truth or dare and now this? Definitely not a coincidence. He shot the dual-haired boy a glare, but was just met with a tired look. As much as he wanted to be mad at him, he felt bad. Shirabu understood his feelings, more or less.
"There's really no getting out of this, is there?" He asked, all attitude. His arms were even crossed, despite the arms around his waist. He could feel his cheeks heating up at the reminder.
Suga shook his head. Well, as best as he could with a 6-foot bundle of feelings clinging to him. "Nope! Everyone is sharing tonight!" He sounded oddly chipper for someone who was basically sending everyone here to their emotional deaths.
Shirabu groaned and leaned back, once again pressing himself into Semi's chest. "I hate that I can't argue with you," he grumbled in Suga's direction. He just received a smile in return. He sighed and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "I really don't want to do this. Some of you probably know exactly why I hate this so much, but there is no way in hell I'm telling all of you. That is a conversation for another day, and nothing you say can force it out of me. Basically, feelings suck. I fight all the time with my.. crush? Is that the right word? Whatever, it's what I'm using. Anyway, we fight all the time. I love getting to just talk to him. Sometimes I say things I regret, but most of the time it just feels like playful banter, I guess. I know he doesn't mean the things that he says to come out as harsh as they do, but words can hurt. He's never once crossed the line, and it makes me disgustingly happy. Like, how can someone be such an ass but also make me feel like I'm on cloud nine? It really shouldn't be allowed." He didn't even notice how wide he was smiling as he continued. "I know I don't deserve him. And don't even start with that 'don't say that, you deserve so many things' bullshit. Everyone says that, but, in the end, it just makes me feel worse. Maybe if he said it, it would actually work. That's just my wishful thinking, though." He finished, staring at the ground in the middle of their gathering. He felt good after that, especially with Semi's face practically buried in his neck and the finger tracing comforting circles on his waist. Wait, when did that happen? His face was probably as red as a tomato after that realization.
"He sounds like a perfect match for our snappy Shirababy," Atsumu spoke up, grinning.
Shirabu wanted to argue, he really did. He was too flustered to say much of anything, though. He did, however, manage to muster a "you're next, jackass."
---
Atsumu didn't really mind going next. He had actually wanted Shirabu to pick him. He had a lot to get off his chest. The others could probably tell just how unfazed he was, but he didn't care. It wasn't like he had much of anything to hide. Not from these guys anyway.
He shrugged and sat up. "Okay, what should I talk about first? 'Samu or Omi-Omi?" He looked to the others for an answer.
"'Omi-Omi' is Sakusa, right?" Kageyama asked. "And 'Samu' is your brother, Osamu?"
Atsumu nodded. "Yup."
Yahaba shrugged. "Start with your brother, I guess. You can hopelessly pine after."
Atsumu nodded and chuckled. "Alright, fine. Pretty much, 'Samu's the definition of a dick. He just doesn't care about me. Everyone says 'don't say that, yer brother loves ya', but he really doesn't. If he does, he does a damn good job at hidin' it. When we were kids, he'd always blame me for the shit he did, and our ma believed him. If I ever tried to do the same thing, she'd know I was lyin'. She always seemed to favor him. He got all the good stuff, and I got nothin'. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but that's what it felt like. Even as teenagers, she shows such blatant favoritism. It's such bullshit! And then he has the fuckin' audacity to act like everthin's my fault! Don't blame it on me when yer boyfriend calls ya out for yer own shit, jackass! Just because he caught ya doin' somethin' stupid doesn't mean that he doesn't love ya anymore! The worst part is that I have to listen to his rantin' about Suna, and how he's the 'perfect boyfriend'. I bet my Omi-Omi would be so much better than that jerk! I can't even deny that I love him. He may be the worst person on the planet, but he's my twin and my brother. I can't just not love him. But he's so annoyin'!" He huffed, crossing his arms.
Yahaba just laughed at him. "Whatever you say, Mr. 'I can't even deny that I love him'."
Atsumu glared at his snickering face. "Ya wanna hear about Omi-Omi or not, jerkface?"
"I'm not sure about everyone else, but I would like to hear more about Sakusa-san," Akaashi said.
"Thank ya, Akaashi." Atsumu grinned. "Now for my Omi-Omi! Well, he's not mine yet, but he will be! There's no way he can resist me until graduation. That's a whole year-and-a-half. If he does manage to evade my charms as long as he says he will, which is forever, then good for him! I guess I just wish he'd give me a chance, y'know? He always seems to avoid me more than he does most people, on the rare occasion that we meet. He's made it very clear that he doesn't like me, but he could at least act friendly. I'm always afraid of getting too close or triggering his germaphobia somehow. I don't wanna be known as the guy who makes him sick, so I always wear a mask. I disinfect everything when we go somewhere together, which isn't often and always with other people. I try so hard to make sure he's comfortable, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. As far as he's concerned, I'm just another germ in the area. I'd do anything to make him smile, just once. If it meant I had to move across Japan, I'd do it. 'Samu would kill me, but I don't care. He's such a great guy, and I just wish he'd let me near him. Not just physically, but mentally. I wanna know all about him," he finished with a sigh. Yahaba had started hugging him at some point, which he was thankful for. Atsumu wasn't prepared for the barrage of emotions that came with opening up. He felt even worse than he had before.
"I don't know Sakusa-san very well, but I wouldn't give up hope if I were you. Keep trying, okay?" Kageyama, surprisingly, offered some good advice.
Atsumu nodded. "Thanks, Kags. Akaashi can go next. I just want hugs," he mumbled into Yahaba's shoulder. He was too busy cuddling up to Yahaba to care about anything around him.
---
He may have been quiet, but everyone definitely heard Atsumu choose Akaashi. They all looked at him expectantly. He just sighed and shook his head. Like the others, he didn't really want to talk about his hopeless love life (if you could even call it that). Apparently, he wasn't very discrete with his feelings, so it wasn't like there was much to tell anyway.
Akaashi took the small nudge from Kenma as his signal to start. "I don't really think this is necessary, but there's clearly no avoiding it. As you know, I have feelings for Bokuto-san. He's just so sweet and caring, how can I not? He's far from perfect, but that's part of what makes him so charming. He's loud, moody, and acts like a child; but he's also fearless and strong. He can light up a room by just walking in. His mere presence is enough to make me smile. I would just hold him back if I confessed. Things would get awkward, and I would hate to be the one to ruin the end of his last year in high school. I'm the quiet, composed one - the one people rely on - but, sometimes, I need someone to rely on too. I always picture him when I think about it. It's stupid, but I really can't see my future without him. I want to tell him so bad, but I can't. I know you all understand, but it's still so hard to put into words. I just," he paused, something similar to a look of pain crossing his face. "I think I might really love him. I'm in way too deep." He sighed and rested his chin on the top of Kenma's head.
"Wait," Kogane spoke up, looking confused. "I thought you and Bokuto-san were dating?"
Akaashi looked shocked, but everyone else was laughing. He sputtered out a response. "I- no, we're just friends. I'm.. not sure how you came to that conclusion."
Suga looked at Akaashi like he was crazy. "He literally looks at you like you're his world."
Akaashi was blushing from embarrassment. It was a sight that was quite unusual. "I find that hard to believe. I'm just his setter."
Semi sighed and shook his head as best he could. (He was still cuddled up with Shirabu, after all.) "You're possibly the worst out of all of us."
Akaashi gave him a pointed glare. "I'm not so sure about that. Why don't you tell us about your love life, hm?"
---
Damn that big mouth of his. Why did Semi think it was a good idea to say that? How was he supposed to talk about his feelings when most of them were sitting in his lap? He knew his feelings weren't returned after Shirabu's "confession", so he didn't see a point in this whole thing. He just wanted to keep holding the younger boy and listen to everyone else's problems.
Semi shot Akaashi a glare and reluctantly loosened his grip on the boy in his lap. He needed to be able to speak comfortably, after all. "Ok, no problem." That was a lie. It was very much a problem. How was he going to do this?! "There's not really much to tell. My nameless crush - who will remain nameless, so don't even bother asking - is pretty much the most annoying person alive. He doesn't listen to anything that I say and always has some shitty comeback. It's not like I can't handle it, I can, he's just so infuriating. Sometimes, I question how I fell for a jerk like him. Then again, he's also the most endearing person ever. Sure, we fight, but it's fun. He gets this fire in his eyes when we're practicing, and I just want to scoop him up and kiss him with that same fire. He's such a cute little shit. I know he doesn't like me back, and it hurts to know that he likes someone else. I wish I could change his mind, make him look at me, but that's selfish. I can't be selfish, that would make me seem petty. He probably already sees nothing but the worst in me, and I don't blame him. Of course, I'll never tell him anything. I'm taking these feelings to my grave. I just hope he doesn't ever change his snarky attitude. I want him to keep being the same insufferable brat that he always is after I graduate." Despite his overwhelming emotions, Semi couldn't help the small smile that made itself known on his face.
"Sounds like an incompetent prick to me," he heard Shirabu mumble. Oh, the irony. It make Semi chuckle. "He definitely is," he responded.
Semi thought they could all use a sort of pick-me-up, so he looked over at Kogane. "You should go next. I think we could all use a dose of your happiness."
---
These people had such sad stories. What was Kogane supposed to talk about? They said it was feelings time, so could he talk about anything? He hoped that was the case. If not, he was about to make a fool of himself in front of all of his new friends.
"Um, well," he started. This was already not going well. "I don't really know what to talk about. You guys all have such sad stories, and I just want to hug it all away! I guess I could talk about Saku, since you all talked about your crushes. Should I do that?" He looked up at everyone.
Suga offered him a warm smile. "You can talk about anything you want, hun."
Kogane smiled right back. Suga was really nice. "Okay! Well, Saku's really pretty. He's so cute and tiny, and I just want to hug and kiss all over his face! He's not just attractive, though. He's also one of the nicest people I know! He always knows just what to say to cheer me up or encourage me! I could go on all day about how much I like him, but I don't think he likes me back. Sure, he's super sweet, but he's like that with everyone. Even Futakuchi-san! He treats everyone the same, so there's no way he could like me like that. He's the embodiment of perfection, and I'm just me. I know you guys think I'm all happy and stuff, but I don't really see it. I'm so tall and lanky and clumsy. I get in the way of everything, and I'm a sucky setter. I'm nothing like you guys. You all try so hard to be the very best - and I don't mean that I don't try, I do - I just feel so insignificant next to you guys. Saku would be so much better off with someone else. A strong guy who can actually do things, not some klutz who can't tell his right from his left. He's done such a good job at teaching me all about volleyball. I really, really like him." He stopped, realizing how silly that probably all sounded. "Sorry, my problems are nothing compared to yours. We can move on to someone else." He chanced a glance up at everyone. They were all staring at him, nothing but adoration in their eyes.
"You shouldn't compare yourself to others so much. I'm a hypocrite for saying that, but it's true. Everyone has their strengths. You may not be the most balanced person, but that's okay. You don't need to try to be anyone but yourself. I think Sakunami likes you very much, just as you are," Kageyama offered. For someone so quiet and awkward, he gave some good advice.
Kogane smiled wide. "Thanks, Kageyama!" He wrapped his arms tight around the other boy, squeezing him into a hug. He could hear Suga's proud mother noises, but he wasn't paying much attention. He was really thankful to the fellow first year in his arms.
---
Was he really about to do this? Why would he volunteer to talk about his feelings? They basically already know his situation, so why did he feel the need to say more? Was Atsumu already rubbing off on him? That damned cocky bastard.
Before he could stop himself, Yahaba spoke up. "I'll go next, if you don't mind." Curse that mouth of his.
Most of the group seemed shocked, but Akaashi kept his ever-present, calm composure. "Not at all, go ahead."
Yahaba nodded. "So, I already told you about the, uh, Wall Slam™ thing. As I said earlier, things have gotten better. We don't fight as much, Kyoutani and I, but it's still rough. I guess you could say that we're friends, though that might be a bit of a stretch. He's as distant and aggressive as ever, and it's infuriating. Whenever he does open up so me, which isn't often, it feels so forced. I don't want him to be uncomfortable with telling me these things. I want him to confide in me because he wants to, because he feels safe. Whenever I try to talk to him, he either ignores me completely or responds with some shitty remark. It sucks that we can't have a conversation without one of us snapping at the other. We can't even talk about it either. There's no proper communication, and it's both of our faults. He's too stubborn, and I'm too scared of messing up our already messy relationship. At least you guys are all on good terms with your.. crushes. God, that's such a childish term." He sighed and flopped onto his back.
Atsumu laid next to him and offered a smile. "Ya call disgust and repulsion 'good terms'? Ya've really got it bad, if that's the case," he snickered.
Yahaba chuckled and shoved his shoulder playfully. "Please, he looks at you like your the only good germ in the world. Correction, in his world."
Atsumu gasped dramatically. "Yer so mean! Don't get my hopes up, ya jerk!" They both laughed and sat up. They friendship was odd, but it was nice.
"I think Kageyama should open up now." He turned to look at the first year. "Even if you don't have romantic feelings for anyone, I'm sure there's something on your mind."
---
He should feel left out - that's how he usually felt when people talked about their love lives - but he didn't. The people around him were spilling their hearts, and he just felt bad for them. He didn't have anyone to complain about romantically, so what were they expecting him to talk about? Kageyama wasn't sure, but they were all staring at him and waiting. He needed to say something.
"I don't know what to talk about," he admitted.
"It can be anything. Just talk about something that you feel the need to get off your chest," Semi assured him.
Kageyama nodded in understanding. He stayed silent, thinking for a minute, before speaking up again. "As you know, I'm aro/ace. I've never liked someone, and I'm pretty sure I never will. I've tried to explain it to my parents, but they don't seem to understand. It doesn't upset as much as it probably should, but I've never really cared about these things. The rest of the team has been really supportive, and the dynamic hasn't changed at all. The only thing that really gets to me is when people try to confess to me or make a move after I've already told them that I'm not interested. I'm not afraid of rumors or anything of the sort, so I always explain to them why I'm not interested. When they don't drop it, though, or say stuff like 'you could've just said no, you don't have to make up excuses' it really bothers me. Why would I make up something like that? I know I can just say no, and I do. Besides, it takes up the time that I could be using for volleyball when stuff like that happens."
Shirabu rolled his eyes. "God, you're such a try-hard."
Kageyama just tilted his head slightly, a sign of confusion. "I do try hard. Is there something wrong with that?"
Shirabu squeaked as Semi pinched his side. They looked really comfortable. "No, he's just being a brat," Semi said.
Kageyama nodded. "I think Suga-san is the only one who hasn't gone yet," he pointed out.
---
He thought that they would forget. Who was he kidding, there's no way they would forget. He had hoped that they would forget. Of course, they didn't. He was in a room full of some of the most perceptive people he knew, what else was there to expect? Besides, he was basically the reason they were all at his house.
Suga's smile immediately fell upon being picked out. It was clear that he didn't want to talk about it. He knew he had to, though. "Yea, I'm the last one. I guess I should just start talking, huh? So, you all know about my hopeless pining over a taken man. Emphasis on hopeless. He seemed interested in me for a while. I was even considering confessing at the end of the month, but that obviously isn't going to happen. I knew Michimiya was interested in Daichi; all of the third years did. I think even Daichi knew, but he never did anything about it. I guess he finally got the guts to get himself a girl, though. I can't even be mad about it. She's such a nice girl, and they look so good together. They'll probably get married and have kids and start a family and have everything that I've always wanted. I just hope they're happy together. I don't think I can see them together just yet, though. I feel silly getting so upset over a stupid boy. He's more than a stupid boy to me, though. He's my saviour, my rock. When I'm down, he's there. He's always the first person I turn to. Well, he was. I don't think that'll be the case anymore. He's got a girlfriend, and I've got you guys. I knew we were bound to drift apart eventually, but I didn't think it'd come so soon. I hoped we had until graduation at least. The universe seems to have other plans." He knew he was crying, but he didn't bother trying to wipe away his tears. He needed to let himself be sad. Trying to bury and hide his emotions wasn't going to help, and he knew that.
Oikawa was hugging Suga, just as he had done before. "It'll be okay, babe. He's not worth your time anyway. You deserve so much better than that jerkface."
Suga weakly shoved his shoulder. "Watch who you're calling a jerkface, idiot. I still love him, even if he did break my heart." He tried to ignore how shaky his voice sounded.
Oikawa smiled. "Fine, fine. I'll beat his ass next time I see him, though." They both laughed at that.
As Suga buried his face into Oikawa's shoulder and clung to him, Akaashi spoke up. "I think it's time I show you all what I brought over." They all looked over at him, intrigued and slightly confused.
---
Everyone watched closely as Akaashi pulled out a gaming console and a disc. It looked like Mario Kart. Yahaba grinned and looked around the room, checking everyone else's reactions. Most of them had similar expressions on their faces. Even Kageyama looked somewhat excited. Well, as excited as his socially awkward self would allow him to be.
Kenma grabbed all of the stuff from his friend and finally got up. "I'll set it up," he decided. He did, indeed, crawl around the TV stand and set it all up.
Shirabu snuggled into Semi some more, claiming that he didn't really want to play. Yahaba shot him a knowing smirk, which was met by a sharp glare.
Suga also opted for just clinging to Oikawa. He still seemed too distressed to do much of anything else.
That left eight of them. A perfect number for two four player games each. That gave Yahaba an idea. "Guys, we should do a competition. Two four player games on Wario's Gold Mine. Winners go one-on-one on Rainbow Road," he suggested.
Kenma's facial expression didn't change, but the challenging glint in his eyes gave away his thoughts on the matter. "You're on," he challenged.
They spilt into groups accordingly: Kenma, Oikawa, Atsumu, and Kogane in one group with Akaashi, Yahaba, Semi, and Kageyama in the other. None of them moved from their sitting positions, unless it was to face the TV.
Kenma started up the game for the first round. Just like Yahaba said, they played Wario's Gold Mine. It was a challenging race, one in which many frustrated words were exchanged. Everyone finished fairly close, except for Kenma. He was done before the others even finished their second laps. No one was surprised by the results. Kenma was in first, obviously; Kogane was second, shouting about how good he did for his first time playing (to that, everyone gaped at his surprising amount of skill for a new player); Oikawa was in third, claiming that he "let them win"; and Atsumu was last, shouting that the game was rigged and he demanded a rematch. They did not have a rematch, and the results stayed the same.
The players handed their controllers over to the second group, ready to see who would be going against Kenma. Everyone assumed he would be the ultimate victor anyway, but it was still exciting. Yahaba had other plans, though. He wanted to beat Kenma and show off his Mario Kart skills. To do that, though, he had to beat the three others he was going against. He stayed pretty far ahead the whole time, similar to Kenma. Yahaba finished in first; Akaashi was second, glad that all his practice (in most cases, losing to) with Kenma payed off; Semi came in a close third, complaining that Shirabu was messing him up (which wasn't entirely wrong); and Kageyama was last, by a lot. Unlike his fourth place companion, he didn't complain.
The final round was just Yahaba, Kenma, and the dreaded Rainbow Road. Neither of the boys were fazed by this level as they started, though. If anything, they seemed relaxed. Yahaba managed to keep up with Kenma the whole time, he even took first place a couple of times. Kenma fell off because of Yahaba, twice. He was clearly upset by this, but he tried not to show it too much. Yahaba also fell off twice, but only because of his own mistakes. That's how Kenma won. No one was surprised; instead, they were shocked that Yahaba had managed to keep the future pro-gamer on his toes like he did.
"That was so cool, Yahaba-san! You're such a great player!" Kogane beamed. In his excitement, he almost hit Kageyama in the face. He apologized many times, blaming it on his clumsiness.
Yahaba chuckled and waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "It's nothing. Being an only child who's parents are almost always out on business trips gives me a ton of free time to practice stuff like this."
"You live alone?" Akaashi ask, a curious lilt to his voice.
Yahaba shrugged. "Most of the time, yea. I text my parents sometimes, but we don't really talk. I've learned to take care of myself, so don't worry." He tagged on the last sentence when he noticed the concerned looks of most of the others.
"Well, you're always welcome here if things get too lonely." Suga offered him a weak smile. He still seemed emotionally raw, which wasn't surprising.
Yahaba nodded, smiling back. "Thanks, Suga-san."
Oikawa huffed. "Quit trying to steal my kouhai," he exclaimed.
Semi chuckled, and Yahaba didn't miss the red tint that settled on Shirabu's face from the close proximity. "It's not stealing if he wants to come with us. We're better senpais than you anyway." He chuckled.
Yahaba agreed, and Oikawa squawked out the rest of his argument. They all joked around like that for a while, until Suga was okay enough to suggest that everyone get ready for bed. They hadn't realized it, but it was already 9:48. Everyone got ready for bed and settled into their individual futons. Yahaba noticed how reluctant Semi and Shirabu were to separate, but he chose to stay silent. He didn't feel like dying in his sleep that night.
Once everyone was comfortable, they decided to share some scary stories until they all fell asleep. Everyone shared at least one story before they all passed out. Yahaba was pretty sure that even Kenma was done for the night. It was 10:36 by the time exhaustion had taken them all.
---
Suga was glad his friends had decided to come over for Valentine's Day. He was grateful to have people like them in his life. They understood him. He hoped they could all meet like that again soon.
As he waved farewell to all of his friends the following morning, Suga only had one thing on his mind.
What am I going to with all of these Daichi-related feelings?