Work Text:
“Hmph!” someone voices out, and it’s weird because Seungcheol has never heard that sound be voiced out so clearly.
Naturally, after living for years with the members and being desensitized to whatever dumbness is being spread around their living space, he ignores it, focusing on the basketball game playing on the television instead. He props his feet up on the center table, grabbing the remote control to turn the volume up a little.
“Hmph!”
There comes another one, and Seungcheol is dead set on ignoring it—
“Hmph—”
“—Moon Junhui,” Seungcheol sighs heavily when he looks to his left to acknowledge the serial hmph-er. Junhui is curled up in a ball on the far left of the couch, and he looks devastated for someone who can be so loud and lively at a 5 AM schedule. “What is this about?”
“It’s nothing,” Jun grumbles, tucking his face in his knees, “Hmph!”
Seungcheol doesn’t get paid at all to deal with this.
Yet, for whatever force there is in the universe that compels him to slot himself in the daily chaos of his dearest friends, he still does.
“It’s not nothing. You wouldn’t hmph every two seconds if it’s nothing.”
“My thighs hurt,” he says, and then proceeds to extend his legs on the couch so that his feet are resting on Seungcheol’s lap.
Seungcheol can only stare at his wiggling toes.
“Ah,” he groans with a stretch, “I’m so sore all over—”
“—gross—”
“—Shua is a menace—”
In a hurry to shut Jun up to prevent potentially scarring himself for life, Seungcheol grabs whatever is closest to him (a throw pillow with an elaborate embroidery of a farm on it, courtesy of Joshua Hong and his new found hobby) and proceeds to mercilessly smack Jun with it.
“I don’t want to hear about it!” Seungcheol shrieks in panic, “Shut up! Shut up!”
“Ack! Stop! I didn’t mean it like that—Ow! You pighead!” Jun shields away from it with his arms with an equally loud shriek of his own. “We went biking, now I’m sore from all the exercise!”
With that, Seungcheol ceases the pillow beating that his friend very much deserves.
“You could’ve used better words.” For good measure, Seungcheol taunts him again with the pillow, and Jun flinches. “I thought you’re going to overshare again—”
“—well, if you want me to, I’m open to sharing what we do in bed, but it’s not like I’m the one who’s sore after—”
Seungcheol only had to hold the pillow up for him to not continue what he was about to say.
“What’s this about biking?” Trying his hardest to steer the conversation away from the nasty, Seungcheol sighs, putting his deadly weapon (a plush, comfy pillow) down. He sinks in his seat, letting his head fall back and closing his eyes. Why is he suddenly feeling so tired?
Despite that, he cradles Jun’s feet on his lap. He won’t massage them because he isn’t particularly sure where they’ve been, and he’s scared of getting anything itchy from them, but this is all the physical support he could offer.
“That’s an interesting question,” Jun takes on a gameshow host voice, and Seungcheol knows him too well to not know what will happen next.
“Long story short?” He offers before he could even start.
Jun ponders for a bit. He doesn’t want to skip the juicy bits like the tasty corndog he had with Joshua along the way, or the Mickey Mouse balloon Joshua bought for him (more like Jun forced and kind of—if you think about it really hard—blackmailed his frugal boyfriend to buy it for him). But Seungcheol looks like he really wants to know the main reason why his thighs hurt, and Jun isn’t one to make the audience wait.
“He said we should go on a date,” Jun recalls, counting the moments in his fingers because he concentrates better like this. “Then we went biking around nine. And then, I passed out around three. I seriously cannot keep up with him, he’s like a beast—”
Seungcheol doesn’t know where this is going. He raises a brow, unimpressed. They dance for longer hours during practice. Biking for them is leisure.
“That’s just six hours, it’s not even competitive biking. You must have stopped somewhere.”
“No, no, you don’t get it,” Jun moans, “My boyfriend? Joshua? Self-proclaimed “gentle sexy” of SEVENTEEN?” Seungcheol stares as him as Jun gestures ring any bells? “I biked with the Joshua Hong.”
There’s a dumb look on Seungcheol’s face because he seriously doesn’t know why this guy is suddenly bragging about his love life, but whatever.
Instead of pressing on what Jun’s issue could be (honestly, he’d rather not open any can of worms with Jun’s name on it), he says, “C’mon, let’s get you to the clinic. They have something for muscle pains there.”
“Ugh, you just don’t get it!”
Seungcheol hauls him up on his feet, helping him walk to where they need to be with an arm around him to support his weight while Jun prattles on and on about how Joshua is a monster, and how he’s not talking to him until he apologizes.
He really doesn’t get it.
“He said he wanted to do something I like because we haven’t been on a date since forever, but he can’t even last all night long!” Joshua complains, stabbing the steak on his plate (that Seungcheol cut into tiny pieces prior because Joshua will take an eternity trying to finish his food if he doesn’t portion it into smaller, easier to chew chunks) with a fork. Chewing with an expression on his face that borders angry, he points the fork at Seungcheol from across him, and that makes the older flinch a little in his seat. “I wasn’t even done yet, I was still basking in the thrill of it—the tautness around my thighs, the sweating, the panting. It felt so, so good. But he always passes out from exhaustion when I do the most work!”
“Are we...” Seungcheol clears his throat “...are we still talking about biking—?”
“Of course,” Joshua set his utensils down as he stares seriously at the person trembling before him. “And now he’s ignoring my texts? My calls? I saw him yesterday and he hmph-ed at me! It’s totally upsetting, right? I’m not being totally unreasonable, right?”
“T-Totally!” Seungcheol replies almost immediately, “You’re being totally reasonable. He told me about this, too, but I didn’t really get what he was talking about.”
I’m sorry, Junnie, Seungcheol mentally implores for forgiveness. You gotta do what you gotta do, mate.
“Right!?”
With an awkward dab of the table napkin around his mouth, Seungcheol suggests, “What if I go biking with you?”
“You can’t,” Joshua sulks with his mouth full of expensive meat courtesy of his best friend’s bank account, “Jun will get mopey if I don’t invite him again, I’m sure of it.”
“...” He wants to help, but this really is so confusing. “But he gets mopey if you do invite him?”
“Congrats,” Joshua mumbles dryly, “You’ve seen the entire point of my rant.”
“Let him be sulky for a bit then,” Seungcheol shrugs, taking a bite of his own food. He should be enjoying this dinner, too, since he paid for it. “Maybe that will make him realize that he doesn’t have to go if he can’t keep up.”
“You think that would work?”
“I mean, it’s just me, and it’s not like we’re going on a date.”
“Alright,” Joshua says, “But I’m not apologizing for anything.”
“Neither is he, apparently,” Seungcheol mutters, already dreading whatever will come next, but Joshua doesn’t catch it.
Just how will this two make up if they’re both so stubborn?
Seungcheol should have shut his mouth.
Joshua truly is a monster with a bicycle as a weapon, but it was nothing Seungcheol couldn’t handle. He did, however, have to beg for them to take rests because his butt is not cut out for hours straight of sitting on the uncomfortable bicycle saddle. He also did not expect that Jun meant they went for a ride from nine in the evening until dawn.
Even so, that’s not why he shouldn’t have opened his mouth in the first place.
Upon entering the dorms coming from an extensive biking experience with his best buddy, Seungcheol is now realizing that if he just shut his mouth then—
He wouldn’t be stuck in such a predicament.
As soon as Seungcheol and Joshua step into the suspiciously dark living room, the tall lamp next to the couch turns on...
Only to see Jun seated, legs crossed and arms folded.
“Welcome home,” he greets with an air of a stern father who’s waiting for his sons who sneaked out in the middle of the night to come back. Squinting, there’s a theatrical sneer slapped across his face, and Seungcheol is pretty certain he’s trying to imitate some TV villain. “Enjoy your date?”
Seungcheol is about to explain that they weren’t out on a date at all (if anything it was more like rigorous, strenuous exercise because he can’t feel his feet) and that Joshua is the last person on earth to ever betray his boyfriend, but Joshua only lets out a long, deep sigh.
“I sent you a text that I’ll be biking with Seungcheol,” comes Joshua’s bland reply to that dramatic question. “All you sent back was a drooling cat sticker.”
“Well, I wasn’t jealous yet during that time,” Jun doesn’t hear any of it, though, as he stands up to point an accusatory finger. “I can’t believe you—Ugh! You spent our precious babe time with someone else—”
“—you didn’t say you wanted to come—”
“—oh, if I knew you would be spending it with Cheol-hyung, out of all people—”
“—out of all people?” Seungcheol can’t help but incredulously point at himself. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Joshua assures him, “you’re fine.”
“Oh, nice.”
Jun seems to think otherwise. “Why didn’t you invite me instead? Is it about the—the thighs?”
“The what?” Joshua’s face is scrunched up in utter confusion.
“Thighs,” Jun points at the body part he’s talking about, “Is it because of that? I just can’t bike that well but mine’s better—"
“Oh, come on!” It really is hard to stop butting in. “You know that’s a lie,” Seungcheol gestures at his own thighs. “I obviously have better thighs than you and we all know it.”
Why are they suddenly talking about thighs?
Fingers coming to pinch the bridge of his nose, Joshua decides in a split second to take Jun’s hand and tug him to the kitchen with him. The two of them should be talking about this without dragging Seungcheol into it.
Plus, once they start talking about thighs, they never stop.
When they finally are alone together, Joshua plans to settle this once and for all. Like a man.
“What’s your problem?”
Jun raises a brow, mirroring Joshua’s expression. “What’s your problem?”
“Look,” Joshua sighs for the nth time. “I’m not gonna apologize for anything, if that’s what you’re bitching about.”
“What—Bitching!?” Jun clutches his chest, “I’m not bitching! This is not bitching—”
“Then what are you so jealous for?” Joshua isn’t a physically exhausted as Seungcheol, but he is pretty tired from all that biking. “You said you hated it the last time you went with me and you kept complaining your muscles hurt.”
“Still!” No matter how childish he gets, Jun just won’t let it go. “That doesn’t mean you should do it with other people.”
“It’s just riding a bike!”
“Eve just offered Adam an apple, and now—will you look at that—” Jun smirks triumphantly at his genius metaphor “—God hates them!”
“That—That doesn’t even make sense,” Joshua protests, “You’re so childish!”
“You’re so...” Jun stumbles on his words as he tries to find the right adjective, hand flailing in the air as he points at Joshua repeatedly “...your thighs are not as good as mine!”
Aaand now they’re back on thighs.
Joshua is just about to retort in defense of his thighs (or lack thereof) when Seungcheol’s head pops in the doorway.
“Hey, love birds,” he says with a worn out look on his face, “The others are already sleeping. Keep it down, will you?”
Realizing they’ve been really loud, both of them shut up, and when Seungcheol leaves, silence prevails.
“I don’t even remember what we’re fighting about anymore,” Joshua pulls a chair back to sit on it. “I know I said I wasn’t going to apologize, but that’s because I was being stubborn. I’m sorry I made you do all that.”
“No,” Jun yields, propping himself up on one knee next to where Joshua is sitting, “No, it’s me. I’m sorry. I was so embarrassed because I couldn’t keep up that I ended up...” what did he end up doing exactly? “...bitching.”
Joshua stares at him blankly.
Jun sighs.
“And I’m also sorry for being jealous of Cheol-hyung.”
Joshua doesn’t speak. He just remains still as he stares.
Alright, Jun thinks. I deserve this.
“And I’m sorry for saying that about your thighs.”
There it is.
When Joshua breaks into a smile, that’s when he knows he has said the right thing.
Seungcheol woke up at around three in the afternoon. He had to sleep in because he was so tired from last night’s bicycle agenda—not to mention the struggles of being sandwiched between an odd, bickering couple.
He wonders how they are now... if they’re already speaking again. Yeah, he’s annoyed that he has to be caught in between two of his friends (that’s his job, though, to be annoyed at his friends), but he really wants Joshua and Jun to make up.
When he steps into the living room, he’s greeted by the sight of Joshua hmph-ing while Jun is draped on his back, his arms around Joshua as his fingers work fast on the buttons of the controller. A video game is playing on the television screen, and Seungcheol doesn’t have to look too closely at the numbers to know that Joshua is being hilariously pathetic at games again.
Jun laughs too hard, and Joshua turns away from him when he dips down for a kiss.
Jun catches his lips in a kiss, anyway, because Joshua doesn’t move as fast as Jun does. And he visibly melts when their lips touch.
Seungcheol watches them fall into their crazy routine with sleepy eyes, shaking his head at the two of them bickering again over something so trivial, and all he can think about...
All he can think about is how he still doesn’t get it.