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Beau was able to requisition three rooms for the Nein’s long overdue rest for the night. When separating from the first chamber where they had their planning session, Veth declared that she’d stay with Caleb. As the most abhorrent snorers of the group, Caduceus and Yasha chose to share a room together. Beau quickly blurted that she'd room with them. Fjord and Jester didn’t realize what had happened until it was over.
Out in the hall, they gave their goodnights and well wishes to Yasha, Beau, and Caduceus as they retired to their room. It then dawned on the both of them that they were left alone. Together.
Jester gave a shy glance to Fjord. He pretended not to notice at first, instinctively reverting to the guarded attitude he had so often taken against Jester’s flirtations. Then he stopped himself. What reason did he have now to guard himself in this way? To protect himself? He had already shared perhaps the most vulnerable moment of his life with Jester a few days ago when he knocked at her door in Caleb’s tower. More recently than that, he had kissed Jester in front of not only the Mighty Nein, but also the Tomb Takers. She knew how much he cared for her. Sharing a glance with her at this moment, days before they may very well be in the hardest and most dangerous battle of both of their lives, could not possibly put him in any more danger of being hurt than he already was.
He relaxed his tense fists, took a slow breath of air, and looked down at Jester. He found her violet eyes looking back at him.
“After you,” he motioned to the remaining chamber. He felt himself leaning over in a faux-gentlemanly bow.
Jester grinned at this show of the playfulness that she treasured in Fjord. She sank into a semi-curtsy and sauntered past him into the room.
Fjord closed the door carefully behind them, as if he thought that - despite Beau’s high status - they’d be kicked out of the Soul if they made too loud a noise.
It was something that had stayed with him from his years at the orphanage. They had this rule where if anyone slammed a door behind them, all the boys had to go to the docks and swim to the nearest buoy five times there and back. When first implemented, the rule only applied to the offending orphan, but after the punishment had been put into effect a few times, it became harder to determine which boy was the culprit. It was then easier for whichever caretaker was on duty simply to sentence any boy unfortunate enough to be in their line of sight at the time the slamming occurred.
Fjord, being prone to rowdiness due in equal parts to his half-orc nature and his youth, was a frequent transgressor of the “Quiet Doors” rule.
It wasn’t the forced swims that got to him. If anything, Fjord rather enjoyed the chance to escape the dank musk of the dorms for the salty sting of the sea, no matter how sudden it was brought on. What dug under his green skin and stayed there were the glares of the five or six other boys, dripping wet as they climbed back on the dock, silently promising they’d get their revenge after lanterns-out when the wardens were gone.
After so many instances of momentary forgetfulness, Fjord learned to always be wary of closing doors.
The quarters Beau had acquired for them all were predictably simple; one did not expect opulence from a monastery. They had at their disposal a desk, a chair, a bureau, and a bed not much more than twin sized. A cobalt blue rug adorned the floor. Fjord knew this made his sleeping arrangement less than optimal.
“I’ll take the rug,” Fjord blurted out before Jester had the chance to make some sort of suggestive comment, “you take the bed.”
Jester furrowed her brows, giving Fjord a discerning look as she set her belongings down where she stood.
“Fjord, that’s ridiculous,” taking off her painstakingly embroidered coat and folding it over the chair, “you deserve to sleep in a bed.”
Fjord eyed the haversack she had just placed beside her; it was a reminder of the similarly enchanted bag that he had lost.
No one had seemed to bring that up - not even Veth, who so often entertained herself by listing Fjord’s faults. No one remarked how he was the reason the Tomb Takers were able to make off with so many of their supplies.
It had unnerved Fjord when Otis hid behind him during the fight with the white dragon, but he didn’t think any more of it. He hadn’t thought to check whether the individual known to be sly and untrustworthy had taken advantage of the major distraction and possibly made away with the one crumb of leverage the Nein had had over the Tomb Takers. Only hours later in Caleb’s magical tower - when Fjord had attempted to retrieve that very item from his Bag of Holding - did he sense its absence and immediately realize what had happened.
He should have been more alert. His friends had entrusted him with the responsibility of keeping the bag safe, and he let them down.
He chuckled at Jester’s assertion that he deserved anything at all.
“No, that’s alright. You need to rest up, that was a pretty intense scry you did back at Yussa’s. Besides, I think that rug would look very flattering under me. You couldn’t pull it off.”
Jester smiled despite herself. She knew he was deflecting, but Fjord was still disarmingly funny.
“You’re right, I think the shade of blue would clash with my hair.”
“And your skin.”
“Oh, but it would go well with yours?” Jester crossed her arms.
“I mean, green goes with everything.” Fjord sat on the chair and began to unlace his boots.
“Hmm...,” Jester knelt down to the rug and exaggeratedly compared it to Fjord’s exposed shin. “I don’t know, I’m not so sure.”
“Are you kidding?” Fjord leaned over from his position in the chair and dramatically placed his palm on the rug in front of Jester. “Don’t you see how dazzling my hand looks right now?”
Jester delicately picked up Fjord’s hand from the floor and placed it on her forearm.
“Now I do.”
Fjord’s eyes widened, unable to register anything but the feel of Jester’s skin under his gentle grasp.
“Well,” Fjord mumbled, “you are the artist, I guess you would know.” He slowly removed his hand from Jester’s, keeping contact with her for as long as possible before returning his fingers to the task of unlacing his second boot.
Jester sat below Fjord and began to do the same, resting her head on the side of Fjord’s thigh. “Color coordination aside, I think we both deserve a good night’s rest,” she shifted her chin to rest atop Fjord’s leg so she could look into his amber eyes, “and I don’t want to sleep in that bed alone.”
Her last sentence came out quieter than the rest, but Fjord heard it clearer than anything else. He looked back at her, taking in the soft, unassuming expression on her face. He raised a cautious hand and brushed away the hair at the side of her cheek. Jester closed her eyes to the touch, welcoming it.
“Okay,” Fjord barely managed to get out, “Sure. If that’s what you want.”
Jester quickly sat back and positioned herself so that she was sitting in front of Fjord.
“But only if you want to,” the assurances falling from her mouth at high speeds, “I wouldn’t want you to do it if you didn’t want to. Like, if it makes you uncomfortable, that’s fine, it would be fine with me-!”
Fjord took Jester’s hands, putting a stop to her rambling.
“I want to. I would love to. Honestly, even though we’ve established how great I’d look on that carpet,” Fjord said in a successful attempt to make Jester giggle, “I don’t really want to sleep alone, either.”
Fjord felt Jester’s hands relax in his grasp, her face revealing how much relief his reciprocation gave her.
“Just sleep, right?”
Jester wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Yes, Fjord, just sleep.”
Fjord smiled and pat Jester’s hands. “Alright, get off of me, c’mon, I have to get ready for bed. What are you doing?” Fjord playfully pushed Jester away, causing her to erupt in laughter.
On separate sides of the room, they each took off their respective armor and outerwear, both stealing occasional glances at the other when they weren’t looking. Fjord was left in his thermals; Jester changed into her nightie while Fjord intently studied the wood grooves on the door.
Fjord gestured for Jester to get under the covers first, mirroring the manner in which they’d entered the room. With a self conscious grin, she pulled back the sheets and settled herself in the bed. Aware of its small size, she edged herself as far to the side of the bed as she could.
Following Jester’s lead, Fjord entered the bed on the other side, also trying his best to give Jester as much space as possible. Even so, with each occupant hugging their edge of the bed, there was maybe one or two inches of space between them.
Fjord was hyper aware of Jester’s presence in the bed. He felt the blankets breathe with her, felt a faint chill emanating from where she lay. It was oddly comforting, especially since his thermals were intended for keeping him warm while trekking through Eiselcross, so he was a bit toasty in this Rexxentrum dorm room. More than that, though, it was a chill he associated with Jester. That alone helped subdue some of the awkwardness Fjord felt from this new experience.
They both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling.
“So,” Jester sighed, eyes locked forward, “we really might not make it back, huh.”
Fjord turned his head towards her. “You’re starting to realize that, too?”
Jester met his gaze.
She had known logically that they were going to be risking their lives. She had even told Fjord that if it came down to her safety or stopping the city, she wanted to stop the city. Still, when the group suggested going to Nicodranas the next day before resuming their quest for aid and allies, she didn’t understand why they felt it was important. Then, Beau posed the question they all had lightly joked around but were internally avoiding: “What if we don’t come back?”
Jester felt those words deep in her stomach. The idea of never seeing her mama again, leaving her alone before Jester could make sure that she would end up happy with her dad. Veth, leaving her family without a wife and mother. All of the stories that haven’t been told, extinguished in a snowy wasteland.
“I hope we can stop them while they’re still on this plane.”
Fjord shifted to his side so that he was facing Jester and leaned himself up on his elbow.
“Why, you’re not itching to go to the Astral Sea?”
Fjord said it jokingly, but he looked into her eyes with compassion. He was well aware of the reasons Jester might not jump at the chance to follow the Tomb Takers to the ravenous city they all had received vision of, but that Jester had been forced to see more recently.
Fjord took Jester’s hand on the bed between them.
“You did a good thing, curing Veth the way you did.”
“Oh, well, you know,” Jester feigned modesty, “it only cost me about one hundred gold worth of diamonds,” her grip on Fjord tightened in momentary frustration.
“Ow, ow, careful, you’re much stronger than me.”
“Oh, sorry,” her hold relaxing as she giggled. She reached her other hand to Fjord’s cheek. “I know you’re strong enough to take it.”
Fjord brought his unoccupied hand to Jester’s and gave it a soft kiss. “Just barely.”
Her heart swelling in this rare moment of privacy and intimacy, Jester leaned over and pressed her lips to Fjord’s.
He let go of the hand he had just kissed and gently touched along her neck, moving up until he held the back of her head.
Jester kept her grip at the side of Fjord’s face, slowly moving her fingers through his hair in tender circles.
They stayed like that, savoring each other, for a while.
Eventually, Jester pulled back to her side of the bed. Fjord immediately missed her, missed the feeling of holding her, like she was trusting him to take care of the parts of her he held so carefully.
“We should probably go to sleep,” Jester whispered.
“You’re probably right,” Fjord replied, his deep voice rumbling with vibration in his attempt to quiet it.
“Goodnight, Fjord.”
“Goodnight, Jester.”
Eyes lingering. Taking each other in. Both in disbelief that, despite everything, they were lucky enough to be in each other’s presence at this moment.
Jester took a deep breath, released it, and then turned onto her side, away from Fjord.
Fjord watched her go. Now, turned away from him, she felt farther away than ever.
He returned to his position on his back and tried to imagine what stars were above him right now. He soon realized he couldn’t even imagine the night sky without thinking about that city clawing its way through it.
He thought about the prospect of traveling to that city. He could barely comprehend what that would even mean, what it would entail. His memory of the city had already faded a considerable amount. His memory had never been that great, but he thought that in this instance, maybe his brain was trying to protect him from what he saw. He appreciated its effort, but no amount of forgetting would change what they might have to do.
“Fjord?” Jester’s squeaky voice interrupted his train of thought.
“Yes, Jester?” Did she somehow know what he was thinking about?
He heard her take a shaky breath.
“Could you hold me?”
The question hit him like a wave, clearing everything else out of his head. He answered after a moment.
“Sure.”
Before he could figure out the proper way to fulfill her request, Jester turned herself back around and rolled over onto his chest.
Fjord slowly placed his left hand on Jester’s back, then moved it up so he could hold her upper arm while still supporting her back with his arm. He then brought his right arm around her hip so he could hold her lower back. He hoped this was what she meant by “holding her.”
She nuzzled her head deeper into his chest. Her horns slightly grazed his collarbone. He took this as a “yes.”
He listened to her breathe, felt in perfect harmony with her at the occasional moments when their breaths would sync up. Soon, her breathing became more regular, and he felt her melt in his arms.
Holding her like this, totally enveloping her in his arms - she was the most important thing he had ever been entrusted with. He promised himself: if any of them were going to make it back, it would be her. He would make sure of it.
That was the last thought he had before drifting off to restful sleep.