Archive of Our Own

“Jung Hwan-ah!” yells Dong Ryong, beckoning him over to their table. The restaurant is ambiently lit, yellow light streaming from the ceiling as the low hum of conversation drifts through the thick air. The song playing through the speakers is something his roommate used to listen to when they were training at the academy - it makes him a little misty-eyed if he thinks too much about it. Jung Hwan sighs through his teeth, an odd whistling noise, and tightens his grip on his bag. The uncontrolled smile that lights up his face as soon as he sets his eyes on the slope of Sun Woo’s shoulders from the back, Dong Ryong’s tell-tale glasses, Deok Sun’s now-long hair and silly beret - isn’t forced. 

He waves a hand in return and brings it down to clap Sun Woo on the shoulder. “Sorry I’m late,” he says, as Sun Woo drags him in for a side hug. He sits down, tucking his bag and the heavy weight inside of it under the table. “You ordered already?”

Sun Woo nods, pointing at the Coke bottle on the table. “Just drinks,” he says, and grins. “Hey, Pilot Kim! You looked smart at the graduation yesterday.”

“ Yah , our Kim Jung Hwan!” says Deok Sun, reaching over to tug his ear. Jung Hwan pushes her away, almost upending the Coke bottle in the process while Sun Woo sighs, long-suffering, as he moves it to the middle of the table. “A fighter pilot - I can’t believe it!”

“You don’t have to believe it, just stop tugging my ear,” says Jung Hwan, rubbing at his ear as he pours the Coke into a glass. He looks around the table, frowning as his heart skips a small beat. He doesn’t like the way emotion curls into his stomach nauseatingly as he swallows the lump in his throat to get the words out. “Where’s Taekie?”

“Late, as always,” says Dong Ryong, snorting. “Kid becomes a celebrity and thinks he can be fashionably late to everything.”

Sun Woo seems to kick him under the table, because Dong Ryong squeals and howls in pain just a second after. “He has a Baduk match, idiot,” he says, and turns to Jung Hwan. “He wasn’t supposed to come to your graduation yesterday, but he snuck out. He should be here, too, in a little bit.”

Jung Hwan swallows. Even after all these years, his heart kicks up a small storm in his chest whenever he hears his name. It isn’t supposed to be like that - he’s not allowed. “He didn’t have to come,” he says, sipping his Coke so he doesn’t have to control his expressions. 

Deok Sun waves a hand at him, annoyed. “You know Taek makes time for us,” she says, grabbing the menu from his side of the table. Jung Hwan sighs loudly to mask the jittering in his movements when she says that - the thought of Taek clearing out his schedule to watch Jung Hwan graduate. “Come on, let’s order for him. I want samgyeopsal.”

“You always want samgyeopsal,” sighs Sun Woo, snatching the menu from her to loud protest. 

Jung Hwan sighs again and looks around the restaurant, inclining his head in a slight bow to everyone looking at them. He always does the quiet apologising for his friends in public - he remembers doing so ever since they were little. They’d never bothered him about it, but it bothers Jung Hwan. He’s not like Deok Sun or Dong Ryong - loud and chaotic and carefree, filling every dark space with light colour. He’s not like Sun Woo - steadfast and dependable, but who still lets loose every once in a while, enough to fight over the menu with Deok Sun. He’s not even like Taek - quiet but lovable, someone who turns a blind eye to the public but a comforting smile to his friends. He’s never been like any of them. As far back as he can remember - Jung Hwan had always been somewhat withdrawn, somewhat sparse with his words, somewhat unlike all of them.

His hand tightens around the cup in his hand, putting it down before he shatters it.

“I guess I’ll just ask you the question that’s on everyone’s mind then,” says Dong Ryong, yawning as Sun Woo and Deok Sun continue fighting over the menu, overlooking the fact that there are two others within their reach. “Where’s the ring?”

The menu shuffling stops. Deok Sun blinks. “The what?” she says, looking over at Jung Hwan like he’s committed the worst crime. 

Dong Ryong looks between Deok Sun and Sun Woo - and laughs a little. “You guys didn’t know about the academy ring?” he asks, shaking his head. “These kids… all they know is the quadratic formula and nothing about life.”

Sun Woo shakes him. “You have a ring?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “And Dong Ryong knows about it?”

Jung Hwan’s hands form into fists again as he bites the inside of his mouth. He thinks his knuckles turn white - maybe they were always burning white, all his life, he hasn’t noticed a difference lately. “It’s the academy ring,” he manages to say. “We get a ring when we graduate.”

“What the fuck,” says Deok Sun, shoving Dong Ryong when he lets out a fake shocked little gasp when she swears. “Is it like a - proposal ring?”

“It’s a service ring,” says Jung Hwan, looking down at his hands and then back up at the others, his fists becoming something he recognises again. “You’re supposed to give it to someone special.”

Sun Woo whistles lowly. “The Air Force does that now?” he says, raising an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me about that.”

Before Jung Hwan can reply with some half-assed excuse of an explanation that doesn’t involve I didn’t want you to ask me who I wanted to give it to , Dong Ryong jumps in with sparkling eyes and says, “Can we see it then? The ring, I mean.”

Something inside of Jung Hwan rears its head to give a definite no. The weight inside his bag, shoved up against the table leg, is heavy as he leans against it. His hands clench back into quiet fists as he contemplates Dong Ryong’s question.

Jung Hwan stares at the ring he’s just been given on a necklace, swallowing as he closes his fist around it. Somewhere in the distance, his friends are cheering and trying to get to him as the afterparty rages on, noise pressing into him from all directions as he rights his pilot cap to cover his eyes, staring down at his hand. He closes it in his fist before they can make it to him - he hadn’t told any of them that a ring was part of the ceremony, and they had gotten there a little late anyway. 

Before he can put on a smile and turn to find his friends among the crowd, his roommate stumbles into him, clapping him on the shoulders and grinning. “Jung Hwan-ah!” he says - clearly drunk off a bit of soju as he rights himself using Jung Hwan’s arm. He spots the ring in Jung Hwan’s now-open fist and points at it, grinning. “Do you al - already have an idea who you wanna give that to?”

Jung Hwan looks back over the crowd, spotting the sea of people parting slowly, and squints as he spots Taek over them all. Deok Sun and Sun Woo are hanging off of his sides as he gets stopped for autographs, and Dong Ryong - who seems to have appointed himself as his manager -  is trying to clear the path in front of them. Taek seems tired, pulled in at the edges, and it’s like a freight train car hammers into Jung Hwan’s heart. He swallows, tucking the ring into his pocket. He pats his roommate on the back. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says, the vocal admission making his chest curl up. He points in the distance. “Look, your girlfriend’s waiting for you.”

His roommate perks up, clapping him on the back as he moves towards her. “Jagiya!” he says, and Jung Hwan misses the rest of his sentence because he’s too busy focusing on the weight in his pocket and Taek’s tired face brightening into a smile when he sees him.

“No,” says Jung Hwan, patting his bag just to make sure it’s still there. He swallows. “It belongs to someone already.”

Deok Sun blinks. “Sorry, you proposed to someone and didn’t tell us?” she says, gaping at him. Jung Hwan clears his throat and leans back to Sun Woo looking completely betrayed and Dong Ryong leaning closer, gripping his chopsticks so hard that Jung Hwan thinks he’s going to snap them completely. 

“I haven’t proposed to anyone,” says Jung Hwan, not meeting anyone’s eyes and looking down his hands instead. “But it belongs to someone.”

Before Sun Woo can emit any kind of frustrated noise, Deok Sun squeals at someone behind him. “Taekie!” she yells, and Jung Hwan almost snaps his head trying to turn back to spot him. He’s standing at the door of the restaurant, tired face brightening into a smile as soon as he spots them. The lump in Jung Hwan’s throat is back when he sets eyes on him, the yellow light of the restaurant washing him anew, softening his features as he makes his way towards them. “You’re here!”

Taek sits down next to Jung Hwan, smiling at him. “Sorry I’m late,” he says, smoothing down his jacket. “Have you all been waiting long?”

“Not at all,” says Sun Woo, leaning past Jung Hwan to smile at him. “How was the match?”

“It ran a little longer, but I won,” says Taek, picking up the menu. Nobody fights with him for it. Jung Hwan thinks that says a lot about all of them - the love they hold for Taek, the way they all congregate back in Ssangmun-dong for his birthday even when they’ve travelled so far and wide now. Jung Hwan grips his chopsticks just a little tighter.

Dong Ryong tugs the menu down so he can grin at him. “Buy us dinner, then,” he says, and Jung Hwan slaps his hand away.

“Let him arrive first,” he says, busying himself with pouring Coke into Taek’s glass. “Here you go, they ordered drinks already.”

Taek looks up at him when he’s pouring Coke, causing Jung Hwan’s hand to tremble just a little bit. “Congratulations on graduating,” he says, and Jung Hwan is glad for having put the bottle down before that. “The ceremony was nice.”

Jung Hwan clears his throat. “Yeah,” he says, trying not to let his voice betray anything he’s feeling. He’s always been good at that - tucking away bits and pieces of himself that not even his friends have guessed over the years - but something about Taek makes him feel like he’s transparent, a single tear shard hanging off the windowsill. “Thanks for coming.”

Taek nods in acknowledgment, sipping his Coke. Jung Hwan tears his eyes away, then, as conversation drifts into what they should order, if they’re really going to have samgyeopsal. When he meets Sun Woo’s eyes just a moment later, Jung Hwan is stripped down to his bare essentials - Sun Woo hasn’t looked at him like that in years, the last time being when he’d lost his shoes because Dong Ryong had gotten in with the wrong people and neither of them had wanted to tell responsible Sun Woo, steadfast Sun Woo, class president Sun Woo. He’s always know almost all of Jung Hwan - in a way that is so loud. His look, now, says I’m your best friend - there’s something going on. 

Jung Hwan sighs, and pats his shoulder. “Later,” he whispers, and Sun Woo nods, even though he gives him another once-over and knows it’s an empty promise.

“Sir, come join us!” says one of his third lieutenants, patting the seat next to him.

Jung Hwan blinks at him. Training had let out for the day, and he was planning to head back to his small room on the base and read the book that Sun Woo had shipped him just two days ago. The rest of the lieutenants are all gathered in the break room, around the hot new attraction that comes in the form of the television the Air Force had supplied them with last week. Jung Hwan hasn’t had the chance to check anything out himself, letting the younger ones crowd around it instead. He convinces himself he prefers the solitary, the quiet - it’s easier to be the cold, stone-faced first lieutenant that they can’t develop a relationship with. He looks down at the book, and then at the warm face of the third lieutenant who had invited him in.

Another one looks over his shoulder, saluting as he spots him. “Sir!” he says, and then relaxes when Jung Hwan waves a hand. “We’re watching a baduk match, would you like to join us?”

Baduk . Jung Hwan had never learned how to play the game himself, but he marvels at how much it has become an irreplaceable part of his life without him even lifting a finger. His heart hurts just for a moment thinking about the deft hands putting out stones a lifetime ago, and then leans against the door. “Who’s playing?” he asks after clearing his throat, pretending like he doesn’t know.

“Choi Taek, 9-dan, sir,” one of them says, and they all shuffle along the couch so that Jung Hwan can catch a glimpse of Taek on the television, still using the same glasses as he did all those years ago. He hasn’t seen him in a couple of months - the last time being when they were all visiting home for Taek’s birthday. Every day feels like a year, he thinks. Jung Hwan’s mouth pulls up in a smile, regardless of if he wants it or not. “He’s still got a couple of rounds to go, but he’s playing against a Chinese player tonight.”

Jung Hwan pulls up a chair, making sure to stay behind the rest of them. He settles into it, his book forgotten on his lap. It’s surprising how far Taek’s come - he used to be quietly nervous with the cameras around, but now he’s seemed to have gotten used to them. “Alright,” he says, sighing out through his teeth. “I’ll stay for this match, then.”

“You like baduk, sir?” asks one of them, peeking up over the heads of the others.

Jung Hwan hums. “It was inescapable when I was younger.”

“You must know Choi Taek, then!” he says, lighting up. “He’s about your age, I think. Either way, he’s such an amazing player - his style is so calm. Even when he was just sixteen. Isn’t it just so admirable how he dedicated so many nights to practicing his craft?”

Jung Hwan’s eyebrows pull together, his mouth upturned. “I don’t think so,” he says, the words snapping out of him before he can help it. He ignores everyone turning back to him and focuses on Taek’s next move - Jung Hwan’s watched enough of him practicing to know that he’s doing well. “Taekie spent too much time practicing - he never ate or slept enough. He takes too many sleeping pills.”

The third lieutenant blinks. “Sir, Taekie?” he echoes, and Jung Hwan realises what he’s just announced. He sighs again, his hands clenching and flattening. 

“We’re friends,” he says shortly. When the stares don’t relent, he continues, “We lived in the same neighbourhood - I’ve known him all my life.”

“Is he really the same as he is in interviews, sir?” asks one of them, wide-eyed. 

Jung Hwan’s mouth quirks back into a smile when he thinks about Taek, how he was when they were children. Quiet, quick-witted, too trusting - especially of Deok Sun, who taught him all sorts of things he shouldn’t have known. How he always wore that surprised little smile when he came back home from Japan, or China, or another domestic tournament in Korea, and he found the four of them sitting down in his room and waiting for him so they could go out for ramyeon, or he could treat them to pizza. 

Jung Hwan isn’t quite sure when he drifted into silent love with Taek - but he thinks it might have been in between the boys beginning to talk about girls when they grew older and out into their bodies, limbs getting longer, jaws becoming sharper, and Taek’s blinding smile whenever he learned a new, small thing, like he wasn’t a world-renowned baduk champion. Like Jung Hwan teaching him to make his hyung ’s ramyeon carefully in the kitchen and holding out the spoon for him to taste the broth was the same as practicing at the academy with people decades older than him and winning . Like Jung Hwan teaming up with him for football and chasing him around a field where they’re not supposed to be was the same as flying all over Asia and being on television since age sixteen. Like Jung Hwan just simply sitting and eating with him is the same as winning competitions based on sheer talent and hard work.

He swallows. “No,” he says, looking down at his hands. “Our Taek - while he might be a lot like what you see in interviews, he’s also - different. He’s different to me.”

“What’s he like, sir?” asks one of them. Jung Hwan gives him a look, and he sobers up. “Sorry, sir, we’ve just never learned anything about his personal life.”

Jung Hwan snorts. “And it should stay like that,” he says to the disappointed noises his second and third lieutenants make. He points to the television. “Look at that, he’s about to win.”

All heads snap back as Taek makes the last move and he and his opponent shake hands as the commentator starts yelling and the room bursts into cheers. Jung Hwan can’t help but control his smile when the news stations start hounding Taek about his plans for the next rounds and the way he calmly shoots them all down as sunbaenim guides him through the crowd. One of them turns around and says, “Sir, you should call him to congratulate him!”

“I’ll give him a couple of minutes,” says Jung Hwan, tucking his hand into his pocket to close around his beeper. Jung Hwan doesn’t beep him a lot - Taek is a busy person, and he knows he’d probably rather talk to his father. But it’s been a couple months since they’ve seen each other - so Jung Hwan allows himself this one thing for once. 

He stands up, moving out of the room as the others switch to another channel. They should really be getting to bed soon, thinks Jung Hwan, as he leans against the building wall, the low hum of conversation floating out of the room. He glances at his beeper, then back inside the room, and then grips the beeper in his hand. Taek is a notoriously bad beeper - there’s no guarantee that he’ll reply. Jung Hwan looks up and spots the comms room just a couple of feet away. He could just call him - Sun Woo always keeps track of the hotels he stays at, which means the rest of them just learn it through osmosis as well. Jung Hwan sighs and curses his mind as he makes the small walk to the comms room, sitting down with a huff in the chair, rolling around to the desk. 

He rings the number without even having to think about it - it’s the same hotel that Taek’s stayed at a number of times when they were younger. When he reaches the front desk, he clears his throat and says, “Hello, I’m calling for Choi Taek?”

A sigh comes over the line. “ Sir, we’ve gotten many calls asking for him - “

“Tell him it’s Kim Jung Hwan,” he says, toying with the ring in his pocket. He always keeps it near, having transferred it from his necklace to a box. The others, even the third lieutenants, have already given the rings away - but Jung Hwan holds onto it, even after all these years. “He’ll know.”

“ Wait just a moment, sir, ” says the receptionist, and after quite a bit of shuffling and shouting in the distance, she comes back to the line. “ Sir, please note down the following number to call his room… ”

Jung Hwan dutifully writes down the number, dialing it next. It rings a couple of times, long enough for him to wonder if Taek’s in the shower or something, and if he should rather just hang up, when the line clicks. “ Hi ?” says Taek. If Jung Hwan focuses just enough, he can hear the rustling of the towel as he dries his hair. “ Jung Hwan-ah? ”

Jung Hwan swallows - he didn’t think he would get to this point. “Taek-ah,” he says, wiping his hands down on his trousers. “Congrats on the competition.”

“ Oh, ” says Taek, and Jung Hwan doesn’t have to be there to know that he’s smiling. “ You were watching? ”

“My second and third lieutenants had it on after training,” he says. All of a sudden, he wishes he was where Taek is, an ache he hasn’t properly felt in years taking over his heart. 

“ Wow, Jung Hwan-ah ,” says Taek, laughing. “ Your second and third lieutenants… you’ve really grown up now, haven’t you? ”

Jung Hwan is painfully aware of how his mouth creases into a small grin, eyes crinkling. “Says you - our Taek, 9-dan. You’ve risen through the ranks so quickly.”

Taek hums. “ You should come to the next match ,” he says. “ When you’ve got your time off from the base. You know, nowadays you can watch from another room. I can speak to sunbaenim to let you in. ”

Jung Hwan snorts. He’d forgotten the light in his chest whenever he talks to Taek. “You have to treat me to ramyeon if I ever make it to one of your matches,” he says, leaning back in the chair. He feels like a kid again - just eighteen and smiling every time Taek had come home after one of his matches. He tucks the phone into the crook of his neck, slipping the small box out of his pocket, snapping the lid open as he plays with the ring. “Hey, when are you going back home to Ssangmun-dong?”

 “ After the competition is over, ” he says. “ Deok Sun told me that she probably won’t have flights that day either. Will you be able to come back? ”

“I’ll try my best,” says Jung Hwan, even though he knows that he’ll get away from the base if Taek asks him to. “What about Sun Woo?”

“ He visits every weekend anyway, ” says Taek, laughing. “ You must be busy, right? ”

Jung Hwan looks outside the room to see the sun set. He’ll have to check the night patrol in a few minutes. “No, I’ve got time,” he says, just as a lieutenant stops by outside the door. It’s the same one as before, the one who’d asked about if Taek is the same as he is in interviews. 

“Sir, the night patrol,” he says, after saluting him. “Oh - you’re on the phone, sorry.”

 “I’ll be out in a second,” says Jung Hwan, and the lieutenant nods. He turns back to his phone, putting the ring back into the box and stuffing the box in his pocket. “Taekie, I have to go. Duty calls.”

Taek laughs. “ See, you are busy !” he says. He sounds lighter. “ Jung Hwan-ah… I’ll see you in a week. ”

Jung Hwan hums. “Yeah, see you,” he says. “Hey - don’t forget to buy Deok Sun something from the competition, she’ll be upset with you otherwise.”

“ I will. Do you want anything ?” asks Taek, and Jung Hwan swallows down the lump in his throat, something inside of him opening up.

“Just get home safe when you come to Ssangmun-dong,” he says, glancing up at his lieutenant. He smiles, waving a hand. “Bye, Taek-ah.”

“Bye,” says Taek, a small lilt of a smile coming through the phone. “I’ll see you.”

Jung Hwan clicks the phone back into the receiver, unable to keep the smile off his face, like he’s just a schoolboy again. He schools his expression back into something more stoic as he walks to the front of the room, meeting his lieutenant at the door. The other man salutes him, and then tentatively asks, “Was that Choi Taek, sir?”

“Yes,” says Jung Hwan, nodding sharply - once. He realises he forgot his book back in the meeting room and curses softly. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason, sir,” says the lieutenant, as they pivot back to the meeting room with no words spoken between them. “Just - you speak with him in a very comfortable way.”

“Well, we grew up together,” says Jung Hwan, as they come into the familiar light of the meeting room. He grew up with Taek - sometimes he thinks he lost a lot of his years to Taek’s quiet brilliance, the way that one day, all of their youth was just gone . No matter how much he aches for it, he’ll never be able to go back to Ssangmun-dong in a way that matters. “It’s your first night patrol, right?”

The lieutenant seems to take the hint. “Yes, sir,” he says, and Jung Hwan grabs his book.

“Alright, let’s go, then,” he says, and so they go.

Ssangmun-dong sometimes feels like it’s stuck in another time.

He waves to Taek’s dad in the store as he drags his feet along the road. Everything is just the same as always - down to the stones in the road, stacked up against the walls. It’s the perfect place for a child to grow up in, thinks Jung Hwan - a little tucked in, a little wistful, a little familiar. But then again, he supposes anywhere’s the perfect place for a child to grow up in, as long as they have people around them that they can call their friends. Jung Hwan rights his cap, terribly aware of how much smaller everything seems, how tall he’s grown. His uniform is just a bit tight at the seams.

The door to the store clinks open. “Jung Hwan-ah,” says Taek’s father, poking his head out of the door. He’s a quiet man, always taking some time to collect his words. Jung Hwan allows him that time. “You haven’t been home in a while. Everything okay in Sacheon?” 

Jung Hwan nods, tipping his cap. “Yes, sir,” he says, and even though he knows, just to make sure. “Will Taek be home today?”

“He should be here in a while,” says Taek’s father, looking out down the street. “Ah, he - told me to tell you that you should head on home and see your parents first, he’ll be late today. I think you’re the first to arrive.”

“Mm,” says Jung Hwan, nodding as he checks his watch. “Sun Woo said he has a late shift and he’ll be back in two hours or so, Deok Sun said she’s at Seoul Airport, and Dong Ryong said he’d come by when the others are there.”

Taek’s father smiles. “Even after all of these years… you still know their whereabouts?”

Jung Hwan flushes, pulling his cap down low. “Yes, sir,” he says. “Taekie has a strange schedule, so I never know for sure where he is.”

A quiet, knowing glint makes its way into his eyes. Jung Hwan had always known that Taek’s father was one of those quiet types - but someone who still knows almost every secret that exists in the neighbourhood. He doesn’t gossip, he doesn’t talk much, but he listens well. “Taek tells me that you know when his matches are and you call afterwards, sometimes,” he says, and Jung Hwan’s heart hammers in his chest.

“Crazy bastard, why does he tell you that?” he mutters under his breath, before looking up again. “Sun Woo’s influence.”

“Mm,” says Taek’s father, before pressing a small bowl into his hands. “Tell your parents I said hello.”

Jung Hwan looks down to find radish kimchi in the bowl, and despite himself, he lets out a quiet laugh. Ssangmun-dong never changes. “I will,” he says, raising his hand in a wave.

He continues down the street, watching as the lights of his house come into view. Jung Hwan knows he will mourn the day that his family moves out of this quiet street, tucked away in the back of the street with a half-basement hidden underneath it. He tries not to think about it too much as he shuffles his shoes up the stairs to his house, pushing the door open with a small squeak, hands holding onto the bowl in his hands. “I’m home,” he calls out.

His mother immediately manifests out of nowhere, enveloping him into a hug. “Jung Hwan-ah!” she says as Jung Hwan struggles to breathe and hold the bowl simultaneously. “How are you, son? How was your trip? Are you tired? Have you eaten yet?”

Jung Hwan holds out the bowl. “ Ahjussi gave me radish kimchi,” he says, righting his cap. His father jogs up to them, grinning widely. Jung Hwan has rarely seen his father not-smiling, when he comes to think about it. 

“ Adeul !” he says, clapping him on the back. “Look at you, you’re so handsome.”

Jung Hwan rolls his eyes. “Hi, appa ,” he says, putting his bag down as his mother takes the kimchi from him. “Is hyung around?” 

As if summoned, Jung Bong- hyung comes storming out of his room and wraps his little brother in a bear hug, gripping his shoulders tightly when he pulls back, grinning. “ Dongsaeng -ah!” he says, shaking him. Jung Hwan pretends to be annoyed, but he fears the scowl comes off more like a smile. “Did you bring me back anything?” 

Jung Hwan blinks at him and points at the bowl. “Radish kimchi,” he says, and Jung Bong- hyung ’s face falls. Jung Hwan smothers a laugh at how predictable he is, and ruffles through his bag to pass him a book and a small model airplane from the base that he’s technically not allowed to sneak off. Jung Bong- hyung ’s face brightens as he accepts the gift, looking at the model airplane almost reverently.

“Before you go out with the kids, have some food,” says his mother, in a way that leaves no room for discussion. Hyung heads back into his room, having presumably eaten already. “I made all your favourites.”

“I’m the first one to arrive anyway, eomma ,” he says, sitting down at the dining table. This, too, seems smaller, like he’s stepping on glass shards and ducking around corners like a bull in a china shop in his own house. “Let’s eat together.”

“It’s not Taek’s birthday, is it?” asks his father, sitting down next to him as his mother spoons out the rice onto their plates. “You’re all back at the same time - that doesn’t happen often.”

Jung Hwan hums, shovelling rice into his mouth like he hasn’t seen food in days. Everyone at the base is a shitty cook and they’ve got a shitty kitchen, so he normally resorts to eating ramyeon in the evenings and whatever salad the boys bring back after their trips to the nearest grocery store. “It’s not, he says in between mouthfuls, “we all just happen to have some time off together.”

“When’s the last time you were all here together?” asks his mother as she takes her seat opposite him. “It was… a couple of months ago, right? When Sun Woo and Bo Ra told everyone they were dating.”

Jung Hwan winces internally thinking about it - the fallout had been strange for a couple of weeks, all of them tiptoeing around the neighbourhood when they came back to visit, tiptoeing around the topic when they called home, tiptoeing around the bomb waiting to tick down in their group. Things have cooled over by this point - especially because Bo Ra- noona has started putting her all in to try and overturn the law. “Yeah, I think so,” he says. 

“So what about you?” she says, when Jung Hwan looks up from his rice to meet her eyes. “You don’t have any chance to meet girls, do you? Out there in Sacheon…”

Jung Hwan chokes on his rice for a second, catching his breath and washing it down with a swig of his water. Something that feels a lot like guilt clutches in his chest. “Sacheon isn’t remote, eomma ,” he says, and then steels himself for the next sentence. “But you’re right, I don’t have the chance to meet that many girls.”

His father makes a clucking noise. “You still have time for that,” he says, patting him on the shoulder. “Only twenty four - look, your brother didn’t get a girlfriend till now.”

“Thanks, appa ,” says Jung Hwan quietly. He seems to have lost his appetite, playing with the rice in the bowl. When he glances back up at his mother, she looks back at him like she’s on the precipice of knowing something. He swallows. “Don’t worry. I’ll see if Deok Sun can get me someone to go on a blind date with.”

His mother looks a little more pleased at that, as hollow as his words may have sounded to himself. Before he manages to dig himself into a bigger hole, a knock comes at the door. Only one person knocks - and Jung Hwan’s head snaps up to see Taek dutifully taking his shoes off to deposit them by the door, bowing as he rights his bag. “Hello,” he says. “Is Jung Hwan home yet?”

Jung Hwan pokes his nose into his view. “Hey, Taek-ah,” he says, unable to stop himself from grinning. Something feels like it’s shifted ever since their last call - Taek had actually called him once, which is definitely something to write home about. 

“Hi, Jung Hwan,” he says, grinning. He looks at Jung Hwan’s mother. “Is it okay if we go to my house for dinner, ajumma ?”

She nods - Taek’s smile is infectious, nobody’s ever been immune to it. Jung Hwan shovels the last of the rice in his mouth. “What are you going to have?” she asks. “Don’t go bothering your father and Sun Woo’s mother, now - I can give you something.”

Jung Hwan shakes his head. “No, eomma , I’ll make ramyeon,” he says. It’s the only thing he eats on the base, but something about it tastes different in the company of his friends. “See you later tonight.”

“You boys stay safe!” she calls after them as Jung Hwan quickly slides his feet into his shoes and they run down the stairs. Jung Hwan glances at Taek for a second, and then elbows him.

“Thanks for saving me back there,” he says, and Taek’s smile only grows wider. 

“Well, she has a point, you are all alone in Sacheon,” he replies, as they walk up to Taek and Sun Woo’s now-shared house. 

Jung Hwan shrugs. “I’m not that lonely,” he says, even though his gut twists otherwise. “Come on, we should get started on that ramyeon before Deok Sun kills us for not having made anything to eat. You know how she gets.”

Taek laughs against the setting sun, and Jung Hwan is immediately re-energised, like he’s been waiting for this for a very long time.

“Sir, there’s someone waiting for you at the gate,” says a third lieutenant, knocking on his door. Jung Hwan blinks up from the paperwork he’s been doing for the past hour and a half, nodding off between commas. “He says his name is Sung Sun Woo?”

“Oh, fuck ,” mutters Jung Hwan under his breath before he nods at him. Sun Woo had mentioned he had some kind of medical conference near Sacheon and that he would visit, and Jung Hwan had hummed in the moment but completely forgotten about it till now. They were supposed to go out to the closest town, to the small restaurant that Jung Hwan had stumbled upon a couple weeks ago, and get drunk together - like they were teenagers giggling over the smallest sip of soju all over again. “Yeah, hang on.”

The third lieutenant nods and heads on past his room. Jung Hwan grabs his cap and jogs down to the gate, waving up at the officers passing him by. It’s a quiet evening on the base - training wasn’t all too difficult apart from the new trainees, who are always shipped over to Sacheon and are always rowdy for the first week or so, till the food and the company reel them back into their place. When he comes up to the gate, he spots Sun Woo kicking the dirt outside, conversing with one of the guards - it’s just like him to strike up friendships wherever and whenever he can. Jung Hwan’s mouth curls into a small smile when he spots him.

“ Yah , Sun Woo-ya!” he says, raising a hand. Sun Woo steps away from the guard and waves back. “Crazy bastard, you came all the way to the base?”

Sun Woo shakes his head at him. “You forgot, didn’t you?” he says, picking his bag up off the ground and following him into the base after the guard hands him an ID card. Sun Woo looks around the base, at the number of lieutenants milling by, the roars of planes going by every now and then, the quiet crunch of soil underneath their feet. “Shit, dude, I cannot imagine living here.”

“It’s not bad,” says Jung Hwan, as he waves to the officer passing his way. 

Sun Woo snorts, hefting his bag up against his shoulder. “Not bad, but lonely,” he says, in a tone of voice that leaves no room for discussion. Jung Hwan wasn’t planning on discussing it anyway - sometimes Sun Woo gets convinced on topics and he doesn’t have the strength in him to argue his way out of them. “You going to take me on a tour of the base?”

“Not today,” replies Jung Hwan, watching the setting sun. “It’ll get dark soon - let me just grab my card and wallet and we can get out of here.”

Sun Woo hums, about to say something when an officer interrupts them. It’s the same third lieutenant who had asked about Taek all those months ago - saluting as he comes closer. “Sir, the third lieutenants - “ he starts, and then notices Sun Woo awkwardly standing off to the side. “Right, it’s your evening off. Sorry, sir.”

Jung Hwan waves a hand. “What did you want to ask?”

The lieutenant looks a little sheepish, back still ramrod straight and shoulders high - because once you’ve been trained like that, you don’t forget, even if they are the Air Force Academy and therefore a little more relaxed in their processes. “Well,” he says, “Choi Taek- sunbaenim has another match today that’s being aired. The other third lieutenants wanted me to tell you.”

Sun Woo blinks. “That’s right,” he says, nuding Jung Hwan, “Taekie does have a match today. Eomma ’s mentioned - she’s watching it on that new television ahjussi got her.”

Jung Hwan’s stomach swoops at the thought of Taek. “Right, but we can just watch it at the restaurant, can’t we?” he asks. “They have a small television there - they put on the baduk matches whenever it happens.”

“Sir, you know Choi Taek- sunbaenim as well?” asks the lieutenant, wide-eyed at Sun Woo. Jung Hwan sighs - this one is really too curious for his own good.

Sun Woo laughs, clapping Jung Hwan on the shoulder. “We grew up together,” he says. “Jung Hwan hasn’t mentioned?”

“Only once,” he says, eyes flitting over to Jung Hwan, who sighs and waves a hand.

“Tell the lieutenants that I expressed my gratitude, but that it’s my evening off,” he says, shooing him away, and the third lieutenant seems to know when his time’s up and dutifully scurries back to the meeting room. Jung Hwan and Sun Woo resume the trek to his room, but he knows it’s only going to be a matter of moments before Sun Woo asks him about it.

“You told your lieutenants about Taek?” he asks, catching up with him.

“It came up in conversation,” he says, and Sun Woo laughs.

“And just like that - the mysterious illusion of Kim Jung Hwan is shattered,” he says, and Jung Hwan smacks him on the arm as they head into his dorm. He rummages around for his card - he’s very tidy normally, but the past few days have been taking a toll on it. Sun Woo seems to notice, whistling lowly as he looks around the room. “Hold on, I need to recalibrate my own idea of Kim Jung Hwan now. Jung Hwan-ah, who have you become?”

Jung Hwan unceremoniously shoves a pillow into Sun Woo’s stomach. “Shut up and grab my wallet, it’s on the desk over there,” he says, and rummages through his books for the card. He has a faint memory of using it as a bookmark - and smiles, pleased, when he finds it wedged between pages fifty-two and fifty-three of a book he’d bought from the local library a few days ago. “Okay, let’s go.”

When he turns back, he sees Sun Woo’s back to him, feet rooted in spot. Jung Hwan taps the back of his shoulder, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s wrong?” he asks, something curdling in the bottom of his stomach.

Sun Woo turns around, Jung Hwan’s wallet in his hands, and with it - a picture fluttering out from it, resting safely in Sun Woo’s palm. For a second, Jung Hwan thinks about running away, his heart hammering to a stop. “What’s this?” asks Sun Woo, holding out the photo.

Fuck is the first thing that Jung Hwan thinks, eyes wide when he sees the photo in Sun Woo’s hands. It’s one he keeps tucked firmly into the canvasses of his wallet, a secret treasure of a picture. It’s of him and Taek at the movies when they were growing up - Jung Hwan vividly remembers the five of them planning to see a movie together, but Sun Woo couldn’t make it that weekend because he’d had to take care of Jin Joo while his mother visited her sick brother, Deok Sun had something going with the girls, and Dong Ryong was being held hostage by his father. So it has just been him and Taek, and they’d gone to see a movie. In retrospect, Jung Hwan cannot remember what the movie was about - he was too focused on the heat of Taek’s palm right next to his seat the entire night. At one point in the evening, Taek had nodded off - exhausted from his match the day before - and his head had landed in the crook of Jung Hwan’s neck, nestling into that warm space. He hadn’t dared to move for the entire movie, listening to Taek’s breath evening out, his chest rising and falling despite the noise of the movie surrounding them. 

Jung Hwan remembers his quiet heartbeat still, seared into his mind, when Taek had settled into the crook of his neck, hand brushing over his on the arm of the seat. 

Once Taek had woken up after the credits of the movie had rolled, people filing out of their theatre - someone was waiting outside the theatre to ask Taek if he could take a picture with them, and Taek had said yes - sleep-warm and rubbing the dirt out of his eyes. Jung Hwan stood off to the side awkwardly, as they all did whenever Taek got recognised in public - until Taek had pulled him in with a smile and asked the person if they could take a picture of the both of them. Jung Hwan had put an arm around his shoulder in a fit of courage, both of them grinning at the camera.

The picture has lived in his wallet ever since, the edges of the photo worn out and loving by pulling it out every day.

“When did you take this picture?” asks Sun Woo, tucking the photo back into the wallet. Jung Hwan swallows, eyes flitting down to the floor and then back up to him. 

“Years ago,” he says, snatching the wallet away from him and tucking it into his pocket. “Back in Ssangmun-dong.”

Sun Woo raises an eyebrow. “Why do you have that picture in your wallet?” he asks cautiously. Jung Hwan can’t meet Sun Woo’s eyes, can’t put into words everything that he’s feeling. He’s always had trouble with it - but Sun Woo’s always been the one to read him. “Oh - shit .”

Jung Hwan forces a laugh out of him. It sounds hollow. “Yeah,” he says, drumming his fingers on his leg, a nervous tic he’d picked up from his brother.

“How long?” says Sun Woo, eyebrows furrowing. “Don’t say since we were kids.”

“Take a wild guess,” says Jung Hwan, and Sun Woo sighs, patting him on the back as they sit down on the bed.

“Why haven’t you told him?” he asks, and Jung Hwan snorts. Sun Woo gets that look on his face - not pity, but the love that comes with being someone’s friend for their entire life, since they were born, and wanting the best for them. 

Jung Hwan sighs - and tries to sort the thoughts in his head. “I don’t even know if he likes - “ he starts, and Sun Woo looks at him patiently. If he sat here for the next hour, trying to stitch words together, he’s sure Sun Woo would wait with him. “You know. I can’t risk it. I’m in the Air Force. ”

“I’m not asking why you haven’t - told your superiors about who you are,” says Sun Woo. He seems more than a little pained. “I’m asking why you haven’t told Taek. Or - fuck, dude, what about me? Or Deok Sun? Or Dong Ryong?”

“How was I supposed to tell you?” says Jung Hwan, his hands clenching into fists. “I mean, I couldn’t just - when was the last time you saw a - gay person anywhere?”

“That’s not the point,” says Sun Woo, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay, let me rephrase. I’m not blaming you - it’s not your fault . I’m just… come on. Jung Hwan-ah. How long have we known each other, you bastard? How many hours have we spent in the study room side by side, how many hours have we spent sleeping in each other’s houses, how many hours have we kicked back a ball with the others? I feel - I’m sad . That you had to go through it alone. That I wasn’t - there for you. You were there for me when my father… passed away. I should have been there for you when you were going through this.” 

Jung Hwan blinks away the tears prickling at the corner of his eyes, his hands opening back up into palms to pat Sun Woo’s knee. “It’s not your fault either, bastard,” he says, sniffling, and Sun Woo laughs, despite it all. “You didn’t know. I was scared, that’s all.”

Sun Woo grips his shoulders firmly, causing him to look up at him. “I would never look at you differently,” he says, no tremble to his voice. “How long have we known each other? I don’t care. Deok Sun wouldn’t, Dong Ryong neither, and Taek certainly wouldn’t.”

Jung Hwan swallows. “Yeah,” he says. He can’t even properly say the word yet. “I just - need time.”

Sun Woo hums, letting go of his shoulders. “What were you going to say before when I asked you about why you didn’t say anything to Taek?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “Something about - “

Jung Hwan flushes, cutting him off quickly. “I don’t know if he likes men,” he says, the words coming out too fast as he tries to school his expression back into his normal stoic look. Sun Woo seems to see through it, because he rolls his eyes. “Don’t do that - I don’t know.”

“You like him a lot,” says Sun Woo, like it’s just a statement he can say . “Don’t you?”

“Your taste is Bo Ra- noona , go away,” says Jung Hwan, shooing him away. Something inside of him lifts when he realises - he can talk to Sun Woo like this now. Like he isn’t keeping a part of himself stuck in the shadows every time he spends time with him. “Maybe I - do like him.”

“You have his picture in your wallet, you’re gone ,” comes the reply and Jung Hwan throws another pillow at him. “You should tell him - really.”

“Why are you so desperate for me to tell him?” says Jung Hwan, elbowing him.

Sun Woo hums. “Well, firstly, I think Deok Sun and Dong Ryong would be bitter that I knew first,” he says, and then sobers. “And secondly, I think it would be good for you to be - not this lonely.”

“I’m not lonely ,” says Jung Hwan, wincing as he gets the words out. 

“You winced.”

“I did not !”

“Your work-life schedule sucks , you forgot I was coming to visit you.”

“You’re a med student, you don’t have a work-life schedule.”

“At least I have a partner,” says Sun Woo, and grins. “That could be you - if you tell him.”

Jung Hwan casts him a dry look. “I hate you. I’m going to send my lieutenants after you.”

Sun Woo gets a glint in his eye that Jung Hwan is not a fan of, and says, “Okay, but can we go out and watch Taek’s match first?”

Jung Hwan throws another pillow at him - but in the end, they do go out and catch the tail end of Taek’s match, and Sun Woo does tease him into oblivion when he notices that Jung Hwan’s eyes are glued onto the television, a high pink rising on his cheeks. 

It’s the least alone he’s felt in weeks.

Jung Hwan thinks the high of Sun Woo paying him a visit will last him the entire week, but it’s broken through by the lieutenants, as things always are. He doesn’t regret joining the Air Force, but sometimes being in charge of an entire group of overglorified rowdy teenagers wears on him a little bit. Jung Hwan thinks he’s only truly free when he’s high up in the sky, piloting a plane and watching Sacheon grow smaller underneath him. If he tricks his eyes enough, he thinks he can see Ssangmun-dong - in all its warmth, its comfort, the cradled memory of youth fluttered by. When he’s up this high, he can forget about everything else - being up with the clouds, seeing the world from a bird’s view… everything else melts away. 

The illusion is shattered when he steps back onto the ground, tucking his jacket underneath his arm, and a lieutenant comes jogging up to him. 

“Are you alright, sir?” he asks, a worried look pulling at his face. Jung Hwan furrows his eyebrows. 

“What do you mean?” he says, handing the comms over to the third lieutenant standing by his side. “Is something wrong?”

“No, sir,” says the lieutenant, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Just that… well, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t upset because of before.”

Jung Hwan blinks, and then remembers what made him get into the plane in the first place. 

He pops into the room, expecting it to be empty considering that the third lieutenants have training with one of his fellow first lieutenants on the base. Jung Hwan scans the room for his book, blinking when he realises that half of the second lieutenants are perched on the couch, leafing through some kind of paperwork. 

One of them looks up at him and straightens his back immediately. “Sir!” he says, catching the attention of everyone else as they salute. “Can you help us with this paperwork?”

“They never told us that the Air Force was, like, two thirds paperwork,” complains another lieutenant, sprawling himself out on the table to the protests of everyone else. Jung Hwan hides a smile in the corner of his mouth, sitting down next to them. He doesn’t ever remember having this chance with his superiors during the short time he was training, closing himself off from everyone who tried to get close to him. Sometimes, Jung Hwan thinks that he makes friends through chance, through circumstance - he doesn’t know how to reach out properly. 

He corrects the spelling on one of the blanks. “They didn’t tell me that either, but it’s still important,” he says, picking up his book that he’d missed. 

“Were you close with your superiors, sir?” one of them asks, leaning forward.

Jung Hwan shakes his head, pursing his lips as he goes through the document. He taps the pen against the paper and tries to make sense of the lieutenant’s handwriting while the murmur goes on around him. As he double checks the end of the document and passes it back to the lieutenant in question, stretching his arms up over his head, one of the lieutenants asks, “Are you particularly close with anyone, sir?”

Jung Hwan blinks, laughs nervously. “What warrants that question, lieutenant?” he asks, looking at another paper in front of him just to have something to do. 

The lieutenant shrugs, glancing around the room. “We’ve just noticed that you’re not close with anyone here, not like the rest of the first lieutenants are. Sir. We were just - wondering.”

Jung Hwan looks up at him, a face of genuine concern sent back his way. He swallows - thinks about all the times he’d passed off going out to the town over with the other first lieutenants when they were still trainees, all the times he had gone but was left nursing his own drink in the corner, all the times he’d yearned, just a little bit, to go back home to Ssangmun-dong. It’s not like he doesn’t have anyone beside him - he’s close enough with his colleagues to rely on them with the training of everyone who comes in - but he can’t deny that his juniors have a point. 

He checks his watch. “It’s time for me to go check on the planes,” he says, forgetting his book as he leaves.

Jung Hwan laughs, hoping that it doesn’t come out too forced. “I’m not upset, lieutenant,” he says. “Don’t you have training right now?”

The lieutenant has the decency to look a bit sheepish. “Yes, sir,” he says, and holds out a book. “You forgot this when you left - I just thought I should bring it back to you.”

Jung Hwan blinks at him and accepts the book into his hands. “Thanks,” he says, tucking it underneath his arm. “You should head to training - I’ll cover for you with the first lieutenant in charge.”

The lieutenant nods, and then hangs back as Jung Hwan walks forward. He casts him a questioning look as the lieutenant shuffles his feet and says, “Sir, you can always - come out with us when we go down to the town for dinner. If you wanted.”

Jung Hwan swallows around the lump in his throat and pats the lieutenant on the shoulder. “Yeah, sure, I’ll consider it,” he says. 

It’s not that he’s lonely - it’s just that he’s spent much of his life growing up on a street where, even when he was stuck in the shadows, his friends were always around. Moving to the Air Force, going through training, and becoming a first lieutenant meant that he could only go home once in a while, could only be re-energised by his friends laughing and talking among each other, could only catch up with his own feelings late into the night. Growing up has been something that slipped through the cracks for Jung Hwan - he feels he hasn’t appreciated it enough. Adulthood pales in comparison to the memories he’d made as a child, simply in Taek’s room with the setting sun as he watched Deok Sun dance and had eaten Sun Woo’s ramyeon, unable to control the laughter and light bursting out of his stomach.

“I’ll be going, sir,” says the lieutenant, waving at him when he jogs back up. 

Jung Hwan watches him go, tucks the book closer to himself, and smiles.

“Are you meeting someone today?” remarks one of the other first lieutenants in the dorm, grinning as he puts his cap on. Jung Hwan tosses whatever’s closest to him at the other man, and in this case it just so happens to be one of their books. “It was just a harmless question!”

Jung Hwan turns around from where he’s been combing his hair in the mirror to scowl at his fellow lieutenant. “We’re in the Air Force, we’re supposed to look neat,” he says, tucking a strand of hair into place. “Not that you would know.”

“Ouch,” says the other man, still grinning. “Then why’d I hear from the guard that someone’s waiting at the gate for you?”

Jung Hwan barely catches his brush as it fumbles out of his grasp, shooting wide eyes at him. “He’s already here?” he asks, and then curses under his breath. “They’re all storming him at the gate, aren’t they?”

“The baduk fanbase is big,” says the other man as they march out of the door and down the hill quickly. Jung Hwan would run if he were alone, but he has to maintain some sort of semblance of sanity around his colleagues. “Why’d you ask him to come here?”

“I didn’t,” says Jung Hwan, coming into view of the small group gathering down by the gate. The guards seem more amused than anything and Jung Hwan can’t blame them - it’s not everyday that something exciting happens at the base. “I told him to wait in the town.”

The lieutenant laughs, elbowing Jung Hwan. “Do you think you could introduce me?”

Jung Hwan sighs as they approach the small group. “We’ll see,” he says, clearing his throat as they near the other lieutenants and trainees. 

It’s not a crowd by any means, but enough for Jung Hwan to spot Taek above the rest, looking a bit out of his depth. His heart flutters, betraying him, as he watches Taek spot him back, features easing into a gentle smile. Almost without any command, and probably due to the other lieutenant whispering to the others, they move off to the side. Jung Hwan can feel himself smiling back as he moves closer, gripping Taek’s shoulder. 

“What are you doing here, crazy bastard?” he says, even though seeing him is a breath of fresh air. “I told you to wait in the town, right?”

Taek winces. “Right,” he says, giving him an earnest look. “I forgot - sorry, Jung Hwan-ah.”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he says gruffly, even though he knows Taek didn’t forget because he’d just told him this morning, and suddenly aware that his juniors are still hanging around. He waves a hand at them. “These are the second and third lieutenants. They’re real fans of baduk.”

“Sir, can we get an autograph?” asks one of the lieutenants, looking hopefully up at Taek, gaze flickering to Jung Hwan like he’s asking for his permission instead.

Jung Hwan crosses his arms. “Don’t pester him,” he says, causing their faces to fall for just a second, before Taek elbows him. 

The thing about Taek is that he’s impossibly sincere in everything that he does - so he turns to the juniors with that same smile, making Jung Hwan’s heart flutter. “I can give you an autograph,” he says brightly - and that’s when Jung Hwan realises that Taek’s grown up, too. He’s become more open, more comfortable with his public perception, even though he’s clueless about the range of his popularity sometimes. Taek turns back to Jung Hwan in the middle of this small revelation and smiles. “Calm down, sir. ”

That effectively shuts Jung Hwan up as he shuffles his feet and looks down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, a high blush rising on his cheeks. He waits until Taek is done signing books, bidding a small thank you to everyone he passes by, the lieutenants looking at him with bright eyes, brimming with questions. When Taek reaches the last person, Jung Hwan’s fellow first lieutenant, Jung Hwan looks up again, ready to go. 

“So what was Jung Hwan like when you were growing up?” he asks, and Jung Hwan sighs, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. Of course he wouldn’t let this go. “He’s quiet now.”

“Oh, he wasn’t quiet when we were growing up,” says Taek, signing the book that the lieutenant holds out to him. He looks back at Jung Hwan, who’s focused on the gravel under his feet again. “But always kind, if a bit grumpy.”

“That’s our cue to go,” says Jung Hwan, tugging on Taek’s arm like a child. “Come on.”

Taek waves a hand at the lieutenants as Jung Hwan hauls Taek down the pathway, nodding to the guard as he does so. After they’re a couple hundred yards away, Taek shakes his arm off. “You don’t want me to meet your juniors?” he asks, and Jung Hwan almost reassures him out of panic until he realises that Taek is grinning. He lets out of a quiet sigh of relief, punching Taek’s arm lightly.

“Was that your agenda?” he asks, knocking shoulders with him. “Why’d you come all the way up to the base?”

“I wanted to see you,” says Taek, swinging his legs out as he walks. Jung Hwan swallows, reminds himself he should keep a certain distance from him as they walk. 

He forces a smile. “What, you couldn’t have waited for me to come down?” he asks, and Taek shakes his head.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” he says, grinning up at him. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

Even though they’re here, out in the open, not even a mile from the base and walking into a town where everyone knows him simply from a tip of the cap and a smile - Jung Hwan can’t resist Taek’s smile. He moves closer again, enough to let their arms brush along each other as they make their way down the path. It’s been a while since they’ve walked like this - a couple of months or more since they’ve been with the rest of their friends. While Jung Hwan has devoted his life to something else, now, and he knows that Dong Ryong is happy with his restaurant, that Deok Sun is happy with her career as a flight attendant, finally being recognised for who she is, that Sun Woo is happy with his gruelling pre-med student life, that Taek, too, is happy with going to baduk championships - it still feels like something he’s left behind. He sometimes thinks he’ll never be the same again.

“Sorry about the juniors,” says Jung Hwan, clearing his throat. Taek glances at him as they make their way into the small town, peppered with restaurants and bars on either side. It’s an Air Force town - they’re used to having them filter in every now and then. “They don’t know their boundaries.”

“You know,” says Taek, looking back forward, “you’re not the same person you were when we were children.”

Jung Hwan rights his cap, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “Yeah, well, neither are you,” he says, elbowing him lightly. Being with Taek has always been easy. “Since when are you good with giving out autographs?”

Taek shrugs. “A while - you get used to it,” he says, and then points at Jung Hwan. “But what about you? You’re an Air Force lieutenant. Look at you. Wow, you look so cool!”

“Shut up,” mutters Jung Hwan, flushing as he looks down at himself. It’s just his normal uniform - nothing special about it at all, but Taek is looking at him like that , and he doesn’t want to continue that thought. He spots the restaurant that he and his fellow first lieutenants go to on the weekends and points at it. “Hey, you want some ramyeon and kimchi?”

“Is the ramyeon as good as yours?” asks Taek, earnest-eyed. He leans in a little closer, and Jung Hwan steps back immediately, hard lump in his throat as he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “Jung Hwan-ah. You know, sometimes I miss your ramyeon.”

“Yeah?” asks Jung Hwan, as he opens the door for Taek. He waves at the owner as Taek unsheds his jacket, handing it to Jung Hwan automatically for him to hang it up on the peg. He doesn’t even think about it. He tugs Taek closer with a finger hooked around his arm. “Next time we go back, I’ll make you some.”

Taek brightens as they sit down at a small table in the corner, opposite each other and toe to toe. “Don’t tell him, but it’s better than Sun Woo’s,” he says, squinting at the menu up on the counter, and then turning back to Jung Hwan with puppy eyes. “Jung Hwan-ah, can you order for me?”

Jung Hwan nods, like it’s ever been a choice. “ Ahjumma !” he calls, and rattles off a couple of numbers off the menu. He pours a glass of water for Taek, sliding it over to him without question. “How are the matches going?”

Taek smiles. “Well,” he says, after sipping some water. “Sun Woo told me you watch all of them.”

Wherever he is, Jung Hwan hopes that Sun Woo trips over something and falls flat on his face. Nothing too dangerous, but just enough for him to regret telling Taek. “Not all of them,” he says, breaking eye contact. “Whenever I have a break. You saw - all of the guys, they’re big baduk fans.”

“You aren’t, though,” says Taek, as the ahjumma puts down their dishes in front of them with a small smile. “You didn’t like baduk.”

Jung Hwan thinks back to when they were children and how Taek would pass out in front of the board, slumping to the side after too many hours of forcing his eyes open to practice. Back to when Taek could barely be at home, flying out or taking a train somewhere every week. It’s still his life. It wasn’t that Jung Hwan didn’t like baduk - he just disliked the after effects of it. “No, I didn’t,” he agrees. He pokes at the food on his plate. “But it didn’t have anything to do with baduk.”

“I know,” says Taek - and he probably does. Jung Hwan moves his hand from where he’s struggling to pick the pork up with his chopsticks and places a few strips on his plate. “When’s the next time you’ll go home?”

Jung Hwan shrugs. “I’m not sure,” he says. “The others said they’re free next month - we could meet up in that restaurant.”

“You’d fly out from Sacheon for that?” asks Taek, a hopeful edge taking onto his voice. Jung Hwan doesn’t know if he’s just imagining it, but it grasps his heart.

“You flew in from Seoul for me,” he says, dropping his eyes back to his plate, but when he dares to look up just for a second, he sees Taek’s blinding smile - and he dares to hope, just a little bit.

“ Yah !” yells Deok Sun, waving from the table at the back. Jung Hwan levels her with a smile, pulling his cap down lower. Her hair’s gotten longer since the last time they saw each other, but nothing changes Deok Sun’s loud personality, the way she takes up an entire room by just being in a part of it. “Over here, Jung Hwan-ah!”

He raises his hand in a wave, draping his bag over his shoulder as he sits down opposite from her. Sun Woo drapes an arm over his shoulder, dragging him closer. “There’s our Air Force lieutenant,” he says, squeezing him for a second before letting go. “How are you?”

“Fine,” says Jung Hwan shortly, fiddling with his chopsticks. “How about you?”

Before he can answer, he spots Dong Ryong coming through the back door. He waves for him to come and sit down next to them, and he all but collapses into the chair next to Deok Sun, who smacks his head affectionately. He puts a hand up. “Hi, guys. How are you?”

“We’re fine,” says Sun Woo, grinning up at him. “You look like you’ve seen the devil.”

“I just worked for thirteen hours straight, give me a break,” he says, looking up to lock eyes with Jung Hwan. Dong Ryong reaches out a hand to pat his hand. “Ah, our Jung Hwanie, look at you, all handsome from Sacheon.”

Jung Hwan rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he pours him a glass of water. “Here, drink this and shut up,” he says. He looks at Sun Woo, who’s fighting with Deok Sun over the menu again. A strange sense of deja vu settles over him. “ Yah , where’s Taekie?”

Sun Woo hums. “He should be here in fifteen,” he says, winning the fight with Deok Sun, who scowls until Jung Hwan nicks the menu from another table and passes it to her. When Jung Hwan looks back at Sun Woo, he’s grinning in that way that promises trouble. “Why, you miss him?”

“I don’t miss you being a little shit ,” he mutters under his breath, elbowing him. “You all want to order already? Taek will want this one.”

“Ordering for Taekie?” asks Sun Woo, and Jung Hwan elbows him again, enough to make him gasp a little bit. “ Ouch , okay, we can order.” 

Deok Sun holds up a hand. “Wait, I’m still looking,” she says, squinting at the menu, and then something washes over her face. “ Yah , Dong Ryong! I forgot to ask - how are things with that girl you’ve been seeing?”

Jung Hwan blinks, leaning closer. “You’re seeing someone?” he asks, as Deok Sun mutters the dishes she wants to herself. “Hey, order small first, we can order more if you’re hungry later. Anyway, Dong Ryong, what’s this about a girl?”

“Absolutely nothing,” says Dong Ryong, pushing the glass back into the centre. “We broke it off - I wasn’t feeling it. I think I’m going to take a break from relationships for a bit.”

Sun Woo’s eyebrows furrow. It’s something that is second nature to him. Jung Hwan knows that he’s been the dad friend since they were five. “Did something happen?” he asks.

“Nothing, I’d just rather focus on work,” he says, and then smiles, “and you guys! Yah , Jung Hwan-ah, you never told us.”

“Hm?” asks Jung Hwan, distracted for just a second as he puts his bag up against the leg of the table. 

“The ring,” says Dong Ryong, and Jung Hwan’s eyes snap up. “Will we ever know who you’re planning to give it to?”

“Yeah!” says Deok Sun, leaning forward with inquisitive eyes. “Do we know her?”

Jung Hwan swallows, sneaking a glance at Sun Woo, whose laugh has straightened out into a frown. He looks over at Jung Hwan, a small twitch of the eyebrows saying everything he needs to say. They’ve known each other all their lives, he knows what Sun Woo means when he gives him a tilt of the head - you want me to cover for you? Jung Hwan returns his question with a minute shake of the head, pulling out the ring box from where he always has it, his right pocket, a weight he carries around. He settles it on the table, looking down into his still-empty plate. It’s not like they don’t share things with each other - they’ve known each other too long to not. They were there for Dong Ryong back when he had piles in their last year of high school, there for Sun Woo when his dad passed, even when there were no words to formulate the grief that was wracking their bodies, there for Deok Sun when she was struggling with her studies, and there for Taek when he flew all over the continent, away from them, at the age of sixteen.        

Still - this is something he’s never verbalised. He couldn’t even say it out loud to Sun Woo. How could he say it to all of his friends, everyone here, when he can’t even say it to himself? When he looks up, Sun Woo’s hand has moved to his shoulder, gripping carefully, and Deok Sun and Dong Ryong are waiting with bated breath.

He swallows again. In the end, his friends know him better than he knows himself. They always are, since they were toddling around the small streets of Ssangmun-dong.

“It’s not a her,” he manages, and Sun Woo’s grip just tightens. “I haven’t given it to him yet.”

Deok Sun’s eyes flash with recognition, before she’s rolling her eyes and leaning forward. “Are you a coward, Jung Hwan-ah?”                           

“He is,” says Dong Ryong idly, like Jung Hwan hasn’t just laid out his deepest secret in front of them. “So, what’s the matter if he’s a he? You’re still our coward.” 

Jung Hwan thinks there’s some wetness near his eyes when he snorts and ducks his head to wipe at them. Sun Woo has let go of his shoulder, but when Jung Hwan looks up, he sees his eyes shining too, reflecting the light overhead in his irises. “I’m not a coward,” he mumbles, sniffling just a little. 

“You are, or else you would have given the ring to him already,” says Deok Sun, and Sun Woo bumps his shoulder in support. Before Jung Hwan can retaliate, Deok Sun’s face transforms from teasing to beaming, and there’s only one person who can make them all look like that. “ Taekie !”

“Hi,” says Taek from behind them, as he takes a seat next to Jung Hwan. “What’d I miss?” 

“That Jung Hwan is a coward,” says Sun Woo, passing him the menu even though Jung Hwan has written down what he’d want. “You okay?”

Taek smiles, nudges Jung Hwan when he spots him looking at him out of the corner of his eye, making Jung Hwan flush and duck his head. “I’m okay,” says Taek, picking up the ring box. “Hey, Jung Hwan-ah, is this yours?”

Jung Hwan snatches his ring out of the rightful owner’s hand to stuff it back into his pocket. “Yeah, it’s my pilot ring,” he says, putting his hands back on the table. “They were just annoying me about it.”

“Because he still hasn’t given it to the guy he wants to give it to,” says Deok Sun, matter of fact. Jung Hwan watches Taek’s reaction out of the corner of his eye - it’s not like he doesn’t know, or he’s unaware, but it’s the first time Taek has heard it so explicitly. 

Taek smiles, as he always does, and pats Jung Hwan’s hand. “I won’t annoy you, Jung Hwan-ah,” he says, something meaningful behind his words that Jung Hwan is too on fire to think about properly. “You should take your time.”

Sun Woo seems to take pity on Jung Hwan and claps his shoulder, loudly saying, “I agree, you should take your time,” he says. “Have you guys decided on food yet?”

Jung Hwan clears his throat and nods, watching Taek as he runs a finger down at the menu just to stop at what Jung Hwan had already written down for him, and decides that if Taek himself had said that he could take his time - he just might.

“Taek-ah!” says Jung Hwan, putting a hand up in a wave when he spots him at the side of the village. He’s earlier than he expected - which makes Jung Hwan quietly nervous. He’s decided, after all, that today will be the day. He’s told his friends, who keep asking him every time they see each other if the ring has been given away. Taek knows, and doesn’t look at him any different. Technically, there’s nothing stopping him. It’s just - the timing. It has to be right. “You’re early.”

“So are you,” says Taek, eyes half-closed. “I came right after the match was done.”

Jung Hwan’s eyes trail over him, the red-rimmed eyes, the untied shoelaces. He looks like he did when they were kids and he’d trail home down the alley, unaware that a pair of eyes were watching him. Jung Hwan had always made sure Taek had gotten home safe when he was in his own house and not in the study room with Sun Woo and Dong Ryong napping on the floor. He shakes his head now, kneeling down to tie his shoelaces. “You should take care of yourself,” he says gruffly, straightening the leg of Taek’s pants when he stands up. Taek rubs his eyes sleepily, shooting him a gentle smile. “You could have come over tomorrow.”

Taek shakes his head. “No, I wanted to see you,” he says, yawning. “Are we going to eat something?”

Jung Hwan clears his throat. “I thought we could take a walk around town,” he says, and then looks Taek up and down again. He seems run off his feet. “But we can just sit down here.”

Taek looks up at him, sighing as he collapses on the bench. Jung Hwan sits down next to him, eyes travelling around the town to see if anybody’s out - just some children here and there, playing in the streets. “We can go on a walk if you want,” says Taek, making Jung Hwan turn to him - but half of the sentence is swallowed in another yawn. 

“You’re tired,” says Jung Hwan, wiping his hands down on his legs and pulling his cap down lower. Taek makes a small noise in the back of his throat, letting his eyes slip shut, and snuggles closer to Jung Hwan as a cool breeze travels through the town, rustling the leaves on the ground. A moment passes, and Taek nestles his head into the crook of Jung Hwan’s neck. Jung Hwan exhales softly, letting Taek curl closer. “Look at that - you’re sleeping. How long has it been since we saw each other, huh?”

Taek laughs quietly, a low rumbling noise. “When the others were talking about your ring,” he says, settling against Jung Hwan, unaware of how fast his heart must be pounding. “Who do you want to give it to?”

“You expect me to just tell you?” asks Jung Hwan, snaking an arm around Taek. It feels a lot like what they used to do when they were younger - when they’d sleep over at Taek’s house and how Jung Hwan would weasel his way next to Taek, just to turn over and keep him safe. “I haven’t told the others, you know.”

“I’m not the others, Jung Hwan-ah,” he says, eyes trying to flutter open just to flicker back shut. Jung Hwan stares at the curve of his face, how he struggles to keep his eyes open and continue the conversation with him even when he’s about to drift off into peaceful thoughts after a gruelling match. Taek’s hair is soft against his forehead, brushed down by the wind. Jung Hwan raises a hand - lets it drop again like he always does, and then grits his teeth and raises his hand again to stroke through the soft hair. He was planning to tell him today anyway. It’s just about the timing. “You can tell me.”

Jung Hwan sighs, content. “You’ve ever liked someone?”

Taek hums. “Sure,” he says, opening his eyes. “I don’t have a ring, though.”

Jung Hwan laughs. “Yeah, I know,” he says, drawing the hand off of his hair. It doesn’t surprise him that Taek’s liked someone - his heart only clenches at the thought of it being someone that isn’t him. He doesn’t think he could take seeing Taek with someone else, unless it meant that Taek smiles more, rests more. “I’ve liked him for a long time.”

Taek looks at him with bright eyes, a little hint of curiosity in them, a little hint of something else. “What is he like?” he asks, laying back down in the crook of his shoulder.

“ Yah, bastard,” mutters Jung Hwan under his breath, clearing his throat. “He’s nice. I - I did everything I could to be close to him, but I’ve never voiced my feelings. He likes my cooking, even though it’s pretty much just ramyeon and samgyeopsal.” 

“Good taste,” replies Taek, sitting up again. He plays with the hem of his shirt, suddenly wide awake. “Will you give the ring to him?”

Jung Hwan swallows, clears his throat again. “I think I will soon,” he says, watching for his reaction as he says it. Taek’s eyes scrunch in displeasure, his mouth pursing, but he doesn’t say anything - lighting a guilty spark of hope inside of Jung Hwan’s chest. 

“Don’t,” says Taek, looking out straight ahead. Jung Hwan startles. “Don’t give it to him.”

“What?” asks Jung Hwan. His voice forms a small bubble of mist in the air. 

Taek turns to him, hands outstretched, meeting his eyes. “Jung Hwan-ah,” he says, almost shy. The words edge on a laugh. “I like you.”

Jung Hwan blinks in return, the small town growing awfully quiet around the two of them. He barely trusts himself to say anything. His hands brush against the ring box in his pocket, where he’s kept it safe for years now. “You do?” he says, and he hates the way it comes out - pleading, asking for a confirmation, like he hadn’t just heard the confirmation with his own two ears. 

“Mm,” says Taek, breaking out into a smile. He looks - relieved. Like he’s been keeping it inside for a long time. “I like you. So - don’t give it to him. If you can.”

Jung Hwan laughs, shaking his head and dipping his hand into his pocket. He pulls out the ring box with steady hands, much unlike the other times he’s held it before. “I’d already planned to give it to him,” he says, opening the box with a click. His pilot ring stares back at him, from all the times he’d brushed his fingers against it, all the times he’d opened the box and never gifted it to the person in question. How he’d never been brave enough to, all the voices in his head holding him back. When he looks up, Taek seems - hopeful. 

That’s enough for him. 

He holds the ring out to Taek, their heartbeats caught in the silence. “I wanted to give it to you,” says Jung Hwan. The timing may not be right - but the words come rushing out of him all the same. “I’ve been wanting to give it to you for a long time. I’ve liked you since we were little, you know, I did - everything. Everything . Just to be near you. So… if you want to take the ring, if you - “

Taek takes the ring in one hand, the other hand reaching out to tilt Jung Hwan’s chin up for their eyes to meet. “I’m taking it,” he says, closing the ring in his fist. Jung Hwan thinks his heart settles for the first time in a long while. “Jung Hwan-ah…”

Jung Hwan smiles, ducking his head to hide it. “What is it?”

“You look handsome,” says Taek, his free hand curling around the back of Jung Hwan’s head with a grin. Jung Hwan doesn’t have time to respond before Taek is dragging him in for a kiss, butterflies erupting in his stomach and his heart thudding in his chest. It’s sweet, it’s soft, it ends in their foreheads pressed against each other and Jung Hwan not being able to meet his eyes.

After all of these years, after all of this time spent yearning for something just beyond his reach - it feels a lot like coming home.

[A FEW MONTHS LATER]

Jung Hwan pulls his cap lower as Taek and Sun Woo’s house comes into view. A small smile lifts up at the corner of his mouth. Coming home always sends a wave of joy through his body, rippling through him like the calm sea. This time, however, it’s different. This time, he doesn’t have to bear the weight of the box in his pocket, or the weight of the gazes Sun Woo sends his way whenever he inches closer to Taek. This time, Taek is waiting for him outside his house, idly kicking at the ground. Jung Hwan raises a hand in a wave as soon as he looks up, causing Taek to break out into the brightest of smiles, glancing around for just a second before walking towards him swiftly, hands coming out of that long coat that Deok Sun had gifted him for his birthday to pull Jung Hwan into a strong hug, burying his nose into the crook of his shoulder. Jung Hwan himself has to squeeze his eyes shut in order to stop some tears from escaping. 

“You look handsome,” says Taek again into his clothes, muffled. Jung Hwan flushes - Taek seems to be addicted to that phrase, never letting up on it. He pulls back. “I missed you.”

Jung Hwan huffs, not meeting his eyes. “Missed you too,” he manages, and then clears his throat. His eyes catch on something glinting in the moonlight. “Is that a necklace?”

Taek grins, fishing it out from underneath his shirt. “Yeah,” he says, showing him his pilot ring attached to it. “So it’s close to me.”

“Must get cold,” says Jung Hwan, stuffing his hands in his pockets and smiling when Taek shrugs. He leans closer, a hand sliding back out of his pocket. Before he can do anything else, a shout comes down from the alley, and Jung Hwan whips around and steps away from Taek quickly, almost tripping over himself in the process.

“ Yah, you two!” says Sun Woo, catching his breath after running up to them, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He pulls Jung Hwan into a side hug and ruffles Taek’s hair. “What are you doing out here? When did you get here?”

“Just now,” says Jung Hwan, squinting at him. “Shit, you look like hell.”

“Good to see you too,” says Sun Woo dryly, smacking him around the head. “Dinner at whose tonight?” 

“Jung Hwan’s,” says Taek, knocking him lightly with his elbow. “ Eomma and your dad are there, Deok Sun’s parents too. Jung Hwan’s making dinner.”

“We can get ready for ramyeon, then,” says Deok Sun from behind them, a smile on her face. “Long time no see, losers.”

Sun Woo slings an arm around her shoulders - the best of friends. “Jung Hwan’s ramyeon is the best, but it doesn’t beat mine. Did you spot Dong Ryong on your way here?”

“I’m here!” says Dong Ryong, waving a hand as he pops up in between Jung Hwan and Taek with a grin, pushing his glasses back up. “How long has it been since the five of us got together in one place again? Is Jung Hwanie making ramyeon? Don’t put weird shit in it, dude.”

Jung Hwan smacks him around the head, pulling a face. “Make it yourself, then,” he says as they head through the gate and up the stairs to his home, a comforting presence in the midst of all that has remained the same in Ssangmun-Dong. He watches as Taek smiles next to him, and he’s suddenly just sixteen again. Just a kid. 

As soon as he pushes the door open, Sun Woo shouting a hello into the house, chaos erupts. His parents and his hyung rush to the door, framing his face with their hands and pulling him into hugs, pressing thousands of kisses to his cheek to make up for each day they’ve been apart. Deok Sun’s mother envelops her into a hug while Bo Ra- noona makes a beeline for Sun Woo, and Taek is showered immediately by Sun Woo’s mother making sure he’s eaten well, is wearing enough layers. It’s home - Jung Hwan wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Look at your uniform, Jung Hwan-ah,” says Deok Sun’s mother with a smile, smoothing it down. “How’s it going over at Sacheon? Lonely, no?”

“It’s good,” says Jung Hwan, glancing over at Taek, who’s being fussed over by his father. “Taek comes and visits me every once in a while, so not so lonely.”

“Taekie visits you more than he comes home nowadays,” complains Sun Woo’s mother, and Jung Hwan ducks to hide the flush on his cheeks. When he looks over, Sun Woo makes meaningful eye contact with him, causing him to roll his eyes and turn back. “What’s up there in Sacheon, anyway?”

Taek shrugs. “It’s fun,” he says quietly, glancing up at Jung Hwan with fond eyes. “Jung Hwan’s there.”

“And we are going into the kitchen to make ramyeon, ahjumma !” says Sun Woo, crowding them all into the kitchen, away from the prying eyes and over-listening ears. 

As soon as they’ve all stumbled into the room, found their place on the counters or against them, Deok Sun glares up at Sun Woo. “ Yah ! What did you do that for, I was talking with eomma !”

“This is more important,” says Sun Woo, squinting at Jung Hwan. “Hey, do you still have your ring?”

Jung Hwan blinks at him, and then shoots a small look at Taek, whose necklace has come back out from underneath his shirt. Before he can clear his throat and say something - it’s not like he and Taek had planned to hide it from their friends anyway - Sun Woo spots what he’s looking at and curses under his breath. “I knew it,” he mutters, triumphant.

“Knew what?” asks Dong Ryong, looking at the two of them. “I don’t get it.”

Jung Hwan clears his throat, glancing at Taek - who gives him a small nod, smiling still, as always. “We’re, uh,” starts Jung Hwan, and then tries again. “We’re dating.”

There’s a moment of silence before Deok Sun is screaming and pulling Taek into a hug, holding the necklace out to inspect the ring on it. “Is this the pilot ring?” she says, and then turns to Jung Hwan. “ Yah , you sneaky little bastard! You never told us it was Taek you liked!”

“I knew,” says Sun Woo, clapping Jung Hwan on the shoulder. “I’m happy for you - now you can’t complain about me talking about Bo Ra all the time.”

Dong Ryong gapes. “Seriously, you two? Sun Woo knew?” he says, shaking his head. “You really do love me the least, huh?”

Taek shakes his head. “We love you - Sun Woo just found out about Jung Hwan liking me by accident,” he says, and Dong Ryong stops with his tirade of insults. “So, are you making ramyeon, Jung Hwan-ah?”

For a second, perhaps a second too long, Jung Hwan is caught by the sunshine of his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he does so, the way the room dims down to just the two of them. “Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat. “Of course I will.”

Deok Sun makes a retching sound, snapping Jung Hwan back into the moment. “Gross,” she says, rolling her eyes as Sun Woo follows her lead and pretends to vomit. “Lovebirds still in the honeymoon phase.”

“I’ve liked him for, like, ten years,” mutters Jung Hwan under his breath, curling an arm around Taek’s waist for just a second, letting him lean into him and press a small kiss to his cheek. “Let me have this.”

“I still can’t believe the resident coward gave Taek the ring,” says Sun Woo, as Jung Hwan starts digging out ingredients from the fridge for ramyeon. He elbows him sharply, causing Sun Woo to cry out in pain and jostle him right back. 

The evening goes on like that - with Deok Sun regaling them with tales of passengers on her flights, a cute girl whose number she got on the way her and how she thinks it could become something, with Sun Woo telling them of his very first patients and how they’re all so strong, with Dong Ryong laying out story after story of his customers and all his dreams. All the while, Jung Hwan makes the ramen, pouring in water and noodles and eggs and chicken and love as Taek stands by his side, an arm curled around his waist - free and open. It’s not like they’ll be able to have this always, it’s definitely like they have to hide in the streets jam-packed with people, brush their hands against each other like they’re strangers, but the moment is theirs.

This moment, back in Ssangmun-Dong with his friends. This moment, under the moonlight of the outside, the candlelight of the inside, his parents and the people who were like extra parents growing up laughing in the living room, Bo Ra- noona and his hyung - who knows about him and Taek, and had only replied with a smile and a If he makes you happy, that’s all I need - and Jin Joo joining them after a while. This moment he’s been searching for all of his life. 

Jung Hwan thinks that finally, he’s not falling behind. He’s here. In Ssangmun-dong, in this kitchen, with the people he loves, with the man he loves right by his side as he makes food for them to all eat and bicker over together. 

He’s right where he needs to be.