Work Text:
"When I said, 'I can see me in your eyes',
You said, 'I can see you in my bed'."
(The Strokes, I'll try anything once)
«I told you it was fine and I meant it.»
Except Karen has been friends with Daniil for ages now, has been his lover for some years, and he knows him well enough to see behind his damned poker face, he can see the little quirks the cameras on a tennis court don’t catch up with, and they all are telling him that something is off.
It's not how Karen had imagined it would have gone, and now that belief that everything would have just kept going on as it had been before sounds childish, if not completely ridiculous. Exactly because he knows Daniil so well, it has been stupid to think that Daniil would have been the same after Andrey happened.
«Hey,» Daniil nudges his leg with his foot, and Karen moves it just enough to trap it under his thigh, «you still with me?»
«Mmm. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it now,» says Karen, absent-mindedly running his fingers over the curve of Daniil’s calf. Talking about other men while in bed together is an international crime already, talking about other men while in bed together and in the first night spent together after so much time apart is something worthy of the guillotine, probably.
Daniil’s leg jerks away from his touch, squirming, where his skin is so ticklish. Karen would love to just spend hours teasing him on his sides and his neck, only to see his face contorting like this and then his body squirming against his own, just to hold him close after, while he regains his breath, and feel the beating of his heart slowly decelerating between his arms.
«It’s you who brought it up.» Like a dog with a bone, stubborn just as always and just as Karen loves him - except Daniil would normally smirk at him when saying one of these remarks, and instead now he has this glint in his eyes that might pass as playful to someone who doesn’t know him as well as Karen does. He can see the little insecurity behind his behaviour, instead. He’s the one who Daniil allows to see his insecurities, and every time he’s remembered of this, he feels entitled to so much power that it makes everything tremble inside of him.
«Well, then. Want to talk about it?»
Daniil has a slight frown creasing his forehead, as if he is seriously pondering it. He is sitting on the bed, still naked, sheets pooled around his hips and covering only his legs. The golden necklaces catch the little light coming from the lamp, glinting, his muscles in evidence as he’s sitting only half sprawled against the headrest - he must not even be comfortable, thinks Karen. All he wants to do is trace those lines again tonight, the ones of his face and the ones of his body, memorize them again and again, alongside with the taste of his skin and the softness of his hair.
It’s Daniil though the first that leans over and reaches for his jaw, scratching just lightly his beard before curving his hand around his nape and bringing him closer. This close, he can only see Daniil’s already half-closed eyes, see how they flutter close as their lips meet.
They have to talk about it, Karen knows it even while melting against his lips and then against his body when Daniil pulls him flush against his, hands roaming on his broad back, running down the line of his spine.
Later, later is the right moment to talk about it. Later when it’s already morning - more like around noon, probably, or maybe it’s just that Karen isn’t used at having this much sun in November as there is here in Monaco - after Daniil has woken up grumbling and disentangled himself from Karen because he forgot to shut the windows down and there was too much light and he couldn’t sleep anymore so he might as well just take a shower, and Karen had let him bitch and complain without saying anything, just hoping that his silence would have been a cue to Daniil to just leave and let him sleep some more (he had just finished playing a tournament, anyway, he had the right to be tired like that and sleeps more than Daniil).
Karen steps in the kitchen, greeted by the sight of the back of Daniil, in front of the open fridge, shirtless. If Andrey were here, he would tell Daniil that he could just wear at least a shirt like everyone else, instead of raising so much the level of the heating in the house and contribute to global warming - nothing that Daniil doesn’t know already, it’s just an habit of him harder to eradicate than Karen had every thought it would be. But Andrey is not here yet, he’s going to arrive in two days, and before that time he and Daniil must talk.
He caresses the small of his back - briefly, a feather touch he can’t resist, just to remember how his skin feels like under his hand even if he’s just spent the night kissing every centimetre of it - before sitting down at the table and start cutting some of the fruit Daniil has laid out while he was under the shower.
«We talked about it. I told you that you would be jealous, and you said it would be fine, not me.» Honest, direct. Maybe too much, now that he can feel how the easy atmosphere left from the love-making of the night has changed, the air between them feels denser now that he has said it. Daniil doesn’t like lies - no one does, it’s true, but no one like Daniil has ever scared Karen that much when he has discovered a small lie he told him, and it wasn’t even anything important, it was actually said to make him a surprise later. Daniil is also not an easy person to fool, there is no need for Karen to circle around what he really wants to say.
Halfway through rummaging in his shelf, Daniil stops for just a second and then resumes as nothing happened. «If you still thought so, why did you even ask me?» He reemerges with a pack of sugar in his hands and searches for Karen’s eyes with his own. When Karen doesn’t answer, he bends his head slightly. «Do you like him more than me?»
Talking about being direct. Karen rolls his eyes, regrets it the second after he’s done it. «Danya...»
Daniil keeps a straight face, but the bowl he’s just lifted from the cooker clinks a little bit too hard when he sets it down on the table. «Oh. Did I strike a nerve?» And Karen would gladly slap him now. Fucking chess player , maybe the cameras on tennis courts are right when they don’t pick up on the quirks that betray him and let him play the card of the enigmatic one.
«If it bothered you this much, why didn’t you say no?»
Daniil opens his mouth, then closes it before any sound can come out, cold fury clear in the aggressiveness with which he’s whisking the mixture in the bowl.
He’s making him bliny for breakfast. Karen has a sudden vision of how much he’s going to have to run to sweat them off, and it still seems a better activity than having this conversation with Daniil. And, anyway - he’s making him bliny for breakfast, and Daniil does it only when he’s really in the mood to spoil him, often too lazy to actually cook anything and always leaving this burden to Karen when they are together.
That’s when it clicks in Karen’s head.
« What are you doing?»
Daniil scoffs. «Making you blinchiki, you’re not so stupid that you haven’t understood it already.» And Karen wants to slap him again. Daniil is terrible at being vulnerable, always has been, and he can trick everyone into believing he can distance himself from everything and doesn’t fear anything, everyone except Karen, who has held him through enough sleepless nights and has seen his teenager self acting exactly like he’s doing now when he didn’t want to talk. It would be easy, now, to play his same game, which Karen probably wouldn’t win in the end, but at least he would get some satisfaction in telling Daniil exactly what he wants to tell him. It would be easy and it wouldn't solve anything.
Then Daniil, with a small voice, asks: «You don’t like him more than me?»
«I thought I made it quite clear last night that I like you.»
«It's not what I asked. I know you also like me.»
«Where is this coming from?»
«Can't you just fucking answer my question?» Some of the mixture ends on the induction cooktop, Daniil swears and tries to clean it with a tissue and hisses when his fingers touch the surface and get slightly burnt. He throws the paper away and opens the cold tap water to pour over them.
«Easy, let me help you now,» and Daniil must really by at the breaking point because he doesn't fight him when Karen joins him at the sink and instead leans against his body, and Karen keeps him close in silence, for a little while, an arm draped around his hips and the other holding his wrist under the water until he doesn’t really feel his own fingers anymore.
«Come on, it's nothing, just let me finish this now.»
Daniil takes some cream from a box over his fridge, and smears some of it on his fingers, while Karen takes command of the kitchen and finishes stacking bliny on a plate.
«If they suck it's your fault, you made the mixture,» says Karen before Daniil can take the first bite, and he laughs. Karen lets out the proverbial breath he didn't know he was holding at that sight.
«We talked about this before already, I would have never asked you if you were fine with me sleeping with Andrey. You never said anything.»
Daniil pushes around the fruit in his plate with his fork. «I know we talked and I swear I am fine with it. It's… Like, I don't know. I started thinking that you're tired of this.»
Karen can see just how much Daniil would prefer too having to run a marathon today, instead of having this conversation. «Hey. I'm here, right? I love you. I don't say this enough. Had I known you had these doubts, I wouldn't have asked you.»
«No, but that is the thing. I didn't have them until it happened. I keep thinking that you are going to realize you love Andrey more than me.»
«Danya, stop. I love you both, in different ways. Don't think I have a favourite or anything. If you don't like this anymore, I will talk to Andrey and we can just forget it.»
Daniil takes another bite before answering. «No, we talked about this, and I still want to make it work too. I love you both too. In different ways too, I think, but I love you.»
Karen thinks of how Daniil easily says that he loves Andrey, about how Andrey has said exactly the same things and expressed the same doubts to him, about how in theory this seems so easy to happen that he can’t believe they even have doubts about each other’s feelings.
«You don't have to do anything you don’t want, okay? I love you, whatever you decide to do now.» It rolls so easily on his tongue, saying I love you, that he wonders why they don’t say it to each other more often. He likes the way Daniil’s face lightens up, how his expression softens, when he says it.
Daniil fidgets with the hem of the napkin. In another moment, Karen would joke about taking a video of these moments of insecurities and post them on social media the first time he will have to read again about Daniil playing mental games. «What if Andryusha is interested only in you?»
«I wonder how both of you can find the ball and hit, when you’re both so blind.» Daniil punches his arm, Karen tries to get a hold of his hand but Daniil is too fast for him, and instead grabs him and pulls him into a kiss. Karen can still taste the faintly bitter tangerine jam on his lips.
-----
Two days later Andrey arrives, and Karen is happier than ever that he and Daniil had that discussion while they were alone in the house. It takes Daniil exactly five minutes to coax Andrey into playing FIFA with him, just enough time for Andrey to shrug out of his coat and leave his suitcase in one of the bedrooms, and he finds in his hands a joystick before he even knows it.
"Karen didn't want to play once since he arrived here, I'm bored."
The fact is actually that no one of them likes playing videogames with Daniil because they already know who will win, and it's almost never one of them. It's also impossible to make him choose one team that isn't Bayern Munich and well, that doesn't help too in making him at least beatable. But, Andrey being Andrey, he just accepts it and doesn’t listen to Karen when he tells him to at least take Real Madrid to play against Daniil, or it will be the usual massacre, leaving Real to him instead, when after this match Daniil will for sure pester Karen enough to make him play too.
Oh so you’re bored now . It would be the perfect answer if there were only the two of them in the house, but it’s too soon to bring up the topic already with Andrey, that would be an ambush on him. Daniil and Andrey are already focused on the game, anyway, so he lets the discourse just fall and lays down on the other sofa, listening to their bickering over teams (actually, Andrey is complaining about how the joystick he gets doesn’t work as well as the other, and Karen doesn’t need to look at them to know that Daniil has rolled his eyes in a pretended annoyance and switched them, and that when he’ll win, because he will win, he will also say that he won even if he had the worst joystick), and thinking about how this could be their everyday reality - or as everyday as it could be for three professional tennis players. He wonders if they’d ever be able to convince Daniil to live again in Moscow, with the help of Andrey maybe he can - it’s not like any of them can ever resist saying no to anything Andrey needs.
It's funny, thinks Karen, how Daniil likes to think he's the one in control, both in their relationship and in their friendship, when it’s actually Andrey that has them both wrapped around his little finger. Daniil would probably throw himself over a cliff if Andrey needed him to, and of course Karen would follow him.
Andrey is the most lovable among the three of them, the sweetest one, and Daniil is his own brand of sweet (which Karen loves more than any other kind), but he likes to hide that side beneath layers of harsh jokes and pretences of indifference. Andrey brings out his (and Daniil's) instinct of protection, it’s always been like this since they were teenagers.
«Karen. Karen. Your turn is coming, don’t pretend you’re falling asleep now, I'll wake you up to play.»
Karen takes a glance at the television: Daniil is already winning 3-0, Andrey has decided that he doesn’t stand a chance so he is trying to pinch his sides to distract him from the game and try to score at least once. It could be their everyday reality. If only.
Andrey has convinced them all to go for a run on the beach (why else should I come to Monaco if not for the beach even in November? Surely I didn’t come for your face, he has said, poking his tongue to Daniil), which was a good idea until they didn’t end up having sand everywhere because of course as soon as Karen had sat down by the sea Andrey and Daniil had blocked him and filled his hoodie with sand. Not wanting to get all Daniil’s house dirty with sand (even if you deserve it, he said, before trying to kiss him and Daniil stopped him after a handful of seconds complaining that Karen had sand even on his lips, and guess whose fault is this), he took the last turn to the shower and stayed outside of the building to shake his clothes clean and rub his shoes too.
When he manages to get out of the shower, finally clean and not itching everywhere anymore, Karen finds them sitting on the sofa, actually, huddled together under a blanket, giggling (Andrey has commented already on the uselessness of keeping the heating so high, just as Karen knew it would go). Andrey’s eyes are even shining for having laughed too much, looking with such reverent eyes at the devilish smile that Daniil is sporting.
«What stupid videos are you two watching now?»
Andrey cracks up again when Daniil writes down something on the phone, leaving him to answer. «Marat is doing a Q&A on Instagram.»
«Come here you too, come on, we have to flood him with stupid questions,» says Daniil, already focused once again on the phone. They both giggle again, to the amusement of Karen - Andrey is probably the only person on this planet who can make Daniil actually fucking giggle like a child, like he is doing now.
«Come on, scoot over,» he says, pushing Andrey towards Daniil to make enough space for himself on the already crowded sofa. Andrey grumbles a bit and then moves away, ending with one leg over Daniil's,who’s glued to the phone and makes space for him as if on autopilot. Karen pulls on the cover Andrey is holding to get some, forcing Daniil to come even closer to them to stay folded in it. It’s only at that point (probably because he’s run out of ideas for new questions, more than because of all the movements) that he realizes what’s happening and where they ended up sitting. In this moment of distraction, Andrey takes the phone away from his hands and starts typing.
I know what you're doing , he mouths it to Karen, though without showing any sign of annoyance. Karen winks at him, and Daniil smiles, relaxed, before snatching his own phone from Andrey’s hands, not caring about his protests because, as he says, I've got another one , and types something more, his elbows on Andrey’s leg. Andrey leans with his back against Karen's side and he snatches an arm around his waist, all impossibly close now and cramped on only one sofa.
Karen's phone buzzes in his pocket, and he has to unravel himself from that mess of blankets and limbs to get it. It's a text from Marat.
take the phone away from that demon of your boyfriend
Karen laughs and doesn't answer, making a move to put the phone down on the coffee-table and then giving up on it, partly because it would mean moving the intricate mess they’ve created and its equilibrium especially, partly because he has a better idea.
«Who’s that?»
«Marat’s complaining about you. He’s telling me to stop you.»
Between them, Andrey snorts. «As if you’re any better than us.»
Karen is already sending a stupid question too, before Andrey can even finish his comment; he reads it from Karen’s phone as he types, and they exchange a grin.
It’s less than thirty seconds before the phone buzzes and, of course, it's Marat again.
you’re both demons
fuck off
«Is it him again?» Karen doesn’t have the time to answer before Andrey takes the phone from his hands and passes it to Daniil to let him read the texts; Karen elbows him, Andrey yelps, Daniil shushes them both.
«Let’s just send him a selfie,» he says, leaving them barely the time to look in the camera before taking a picture and sending it to Marat, not bothering about Andrey complaining that he wants to see how he looks before sending it. He finally gives the phone back to Karen, a satisfied grin on his face. Karen is really, really tempted to kiss it off, but before he can actually give it a serious thought, his phone buzzes once more. Maybe it’s for the better.
you three all are in Monaco together?
still haven’t set the house on fire?
meet for lunch? Russian reunion?
«Marat is asking to meet for lunch together.»
Daniil has definitely run out of ideas to annoy Marat on Instagram at this point, since he’s staring blankly at a screen that has already turned black.
«Depends. Is he going to cook? Because in case, hell no, I still don’t want to die.» Andrey hums his agreement, before lifting himself up and taking Daniil’s phone, to write down another random question to Marat, and the two of them are back again at it. Karen sighs.
Daniil asks if you're going to poison our food.
only his
he's a bad influence for you two and I still need two players for the Cup
I’m keeping the two that can play doubles
-----
It seems so easy, watching Daniil and Andrey tentatively growing closer, breaking down especially the physical barriers lingering between them, that Karen wonders how it never happened before.
It seems so easy, until it’s not.
On the fifth day of their little retreat in Monaco, the second to last before they have to return to their normal life, Andrey wakes up before everyone else, which is unusual, considering that they usually have to convince him to leave the bed in the morning when they are on holiday, and it’s Daniil that finds him sitting on his balcony, headphones on and a distant look in his eyes. Daniil tries to convince him to follow him inside and have breakfast with him and Karen, but Andrey makes it clear that he doesn’t want anything and that he just wants to be alone that morning. Daniil tells Karen all this while they’re sitting in the kitchen, worry clearly drawn in the features of his face. It’s not unusual for Andrey to get in a mood out of nothing, but they both know well enough just how deep in his moods he can go.
Andrey stays outside all morning, Karen and Daniil inside the house debating if they should check on him or if they will bother him and annoy him. Daniil ventures out to ask him if he needs anything, to bring him something to drink, and doesn’t get more than monosyllabic answers, grows a bit frustrated with it, and Karen stops him when he tries to go out for a third time.
It’s only when they’re cooking for lunch (or, actually, Karen is cooking, and Daniil is sitting down on the counter, in the middle of the space that Karen needs, and not contributing to anything apart from having filled the pot with water) that Andrey comes back inside.
«Do you need help with that?» It’s the longest sentence he’s said all day, and while he still doesn’t look like the usual Andrey, that’s an improvement.
«Sure. You can cut the zucchini, maybe, while I prepare the sauce?» Karen hands him the vegetables and silently Andrey starts working on them, until the blade doesn’t end too close to his fingers and he drops the knife, startling both Karen and Daniil.
When they see that nothing happened, Daniil being Daniil, he can’t refrain from smirking and commenting: «That’s because you never pay attention to what you’re doing.»
«There’s already you who’s fucking perfect here,» says Andrey, throwing the knife on the table, and Karen freezes because that’s so not Andrey-like, or better, that’s not Andrey-with-Daniil-like.
Daniil is just seemingly unbothered by that reaction. «I am saying this for you, you’re going to get hurt if you keep using the knife like that. You’re playing already next week.»
But Andrey leaves just like that. «Sure you do,» he says, with tears pooling in his eyes and slamming the door, leaving even Daniil without words, for once.
«What the fuck - I swear, I didn’t mean anything with it, I just - »
Karen stops him before he stumbles on some other words. «I know, you don’t have to explain that to me.»
«I just wanted to -»
«Danya, I think it’s time you two talk.» Seeing it now, it has been foolish to think they wouldn’t have needed it. «Me and him did talk already, you and I did. You know you have to.»
Daniil doesn’t answer, his eyes fixed on the door Andrey has just slammed while worrying his lower lip with his teeth. Andrey always goes to Daniil to look for comfort, always has done so since when they were kids, and seeing Andrey rejecting him like this is hurting him (if people outside could see you like this, Karen thinks. If they knew just how soft you are when it comes to the people you love).
Karen takes his hand, snapping him out of his thoughts. «Just be honest with him like you have been with me. You are important to Andrey, he needs to be told clearly what your feelings are.» Daniil grimaces - talking feelings is on the same level of losing a match at the tie-break.
«I will go to Marat and ask him if we meet again tomorrow, alright?» What he really means is that he is leaving them alone in the house, letting them free to talk alone.
Daniil seems to get it. «Thank you,» he just mumbles, squeezing tighter his hand for just a second, before finally hopping down from the counter. Karen watches him leave the kitchen, and can’t help thinking that this is it, finally, that there is something definitive in the air. He wonders how he’ll manage to pay attention to anything Marat will say while he knows the two most important people in his life are discussing.
Karen comes back home after having tried to make up excuses to Marat about the absence of Daniil and Andrey (unconvincingly, more than probably, judging from the disbelief clearly written all over Marat’s face) to find that Andrey is lying on the sofa, more than half sprawled over Daniil who holds him close with both of his arms circling him, his hoodie up, both covered with a blanket. They both were asleep, but when he closed the door Daniil was slightly startled, opened his eyes and tried not to move anything else.
«Hey,» he whispers, when Karen comes into his line of view. «You're back.»
Karen crouches down next to where his head is lying, runs his hand gently through Daniil's hair, who closes his eyes and just slightly pushes his head against his fingers. Karen nods with his head towards Andrey, asking without saying words.
«He's exhausted. I don't feel my arms anymore but I don't want to wake him up.»
Karen leans over him and leaves a kiss on his forehead, before digging his hands in the muscles of Daniil's arms, eliciting some small groans from him.
«Better?»
«Mmm.» Daniil is exhausted too, Karen can see his eyes slightly unfocused. Carefully, he strokes his head lightly again, Daniil rapidly drifting off under his touch.
«Sleep now, I'll cook for tonight.» More like, Karen means that he’s going to order something for dinner, but Daniil just makes a non better defined sound and Karen leaves them alone. He wants to know what happened exactly, but it’s up to Daniil and Andrey to tell him that, and he can bet that he’s going to hear this story from both parts.
He just has the time to fish for their favourite Japanese take-away menu and make the order, before he’s joined by Daniil.
«Already up?»
«Mmm.» Daniil leaves a kiss on the top of his hair, before sitting down on his usual chair. «Andryusha woke up and almost fell from the sofa trying not to wake me too. He’s upstairs, changing his clothes or whatever.» Then he notices the menu still on the table. «You have already ordered? What if I wanted something else?»
Karen rolls his eyes. «You always look at the whole menu and end up choosing the same two rolls. Pass me the wallet, will you?»
They have just finished setting the right plates for every person on the table when Andrey finally joins them in the kitchen, and sits down next to Daniil this time. Whatever happened while Karen was away, there must have happened something. Andrey leans his head against Daniil's shoulder, and Karen wouldn’t be surprised to see Daniil start feeding him with his own sticks, seeing how soft his gaze is as it lingers over Andrey’s head, wrapping an arm around his shoulder briefly, before passing him a pair of sticks and reaching on the other side of the table to steal the soya sauce Karen had just put next to his own plate.
When Karen wakes up, the morning after, he can’t help the big smile spreading when he sees both Daniil and Andrey with him, Daniil all wrapped around him, those long limbs that make his fortune on the court encircling Andrey, almost as if he’s trying to shield him from the world. And he had the nerve to be worried about his feelings for Andrey just some days ago.
Andrey's eyes are already open, and there’s no trace of sleep in them, like someone who has been awake already for some time.
«Good morning,» he whispers, seeing that Daniil is still deep in his sleep, a little crease between his eyebrows that Karen itches to lean over and smooth with his fingers. «Are you feeling better?»
Andrey smiles, and finally meets his eyes. «Yeah. We needed this, thank you.»
«It's Danya you have to thank, I didn't do anything,» he answers, but searches for one of Andrey's hands with his own, clutching it.
«Mmm. Already did. But I wanted to thank you too.»
Still asleep, Daniil buries his face a little more in Andrey’s hair, clinging onto his waist tighter, and Andrey pulls a face at Karen. «Is he always like this when he sleeps?»
He can barely suppress a laugh. «Can you still breathe there?»
«Barely,» he answers, and then adds fucking octopus, and they're both giggling before they know it, waking up Daniil too, who wraps his arms even tighter around Andrey’s waist in his rousing.
«Danya, please,» Andrey elbows him, «you're killing me.»
Daniil, still half-asleep, loosens his grip on Andrey, who doesn't move away from him though, and then muffles something against his pillow that might sound like drama queen , before finally opening his eyes and meeting Karen's, giving him one of those soft smiles he keeps only for Karen. Maybe from today they’ll be also for Andrey, and Karen can’t wait to find this out.
-----
They meet with Marat in a restaurant, in the end, much to the joy of Daniil. It takes him barely more than one look to the three of them to understand it.
«You three demons finally worked it out, yes? It was about time, only the three of you didn't get it already.» Karen and Andrey have the decency to blush, at least. Daniil just shrugs, throwing an arm over Andrey’s shoulders.
Fucking chess player, it's all Karen can think.