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"So, you think he found out?" Tony asked him.
"Yup."
"Do you think he's angry?"
"Yes."
"Do you think he's gonna tell Rhodey?"
"Probably."
"Do you think he's going to make you work at a desk for the rest of the month doing paperwork?"
"Definitely." The genius nodded and after a short silence they both burst out laughing.
Clint couldn't help but admire the man next to him. Seeing him laugh so freely, his teeth on display, the little wrinkles at the side of his eyes and the sheer joy coming out from behind the indifferent mask he wore in front of the press.
Still smiling and taking one of his hands, the archer leaned in and pressed a short but sweet kiss to his lips.
"And why was that for?" Tony asked with a soft smile that few people had the privilege of witnessing.
Clint shrugged, "Just because I can."
A slight blush tinged the billionaire's cheeks making Clint chuckle. "Shut up. This is your fault. I'm getting soft because of you," Tony said with a glare.
"Sure, honey. Whatever makes you happy."
He rolled his eyes and muttered, "Ti odio. Sei insopportabile.”
Going through his memoirs in search of the Italian lessons Tony had been giving him, Clint, with just a hint of insecurity, said, "Mi ami e lo sai.”
Immediately, the smile on his face grew bigger, if that was even possible, but the moment was interrupted by the room door being opened and Phil Coulson entering.
"Are you two out of your damn mind?"
Clint cringed and Tony tried to hide the same reaction, "Agent, when I told you that you could come visit, I didn't expect you to question my sanity."
"Shut it. Now, is someone going to explain to me why you were out of reach for two whole weeks?"
"We needed time alone, Phil. You know. That’s what couples do when they want to have s-"
"I know what it is, Barton, I'm not an idiot. What I want to know is how you thought it was a good idea to disappear for two weeks without telling anyone."
Tony scoffed, "I think as adults we don't need a babysitter, besides, it's not like we planned it."
"He's right, going to Las Vegas and then spending two weeks on one of Tony's Islands was not on my calendar. It just happened."
The genius closed his eyes and pinched his nose, "You weren't supposed to say that."
Coulson looked at them puzzled, "Are you telling me that you both threw away your obligations just to lose money at a casino and then rest on the beach while sunbathing?"
"No, we're not that stupid. We threw out our obligations to get married in Vegas and spend our honeymoon on the beach."
Tony sighed, "I really don't understand how you work for a secret agency when you can't keep a simple secret."
Phil was looking at them without blinking. "I'm calling Rhodes."
"Merda. Clint, è stato un piacere conoscerti."
He laughed, "It was also a pleasure meeting you, Tones. But if you leave me a widower, I'm gonna be the one killing you. Clear?"
"That didn't make much sense, honey. If you kill me then you'd still be a widower and then- I mean, yeah, crystal clear."
In front of them, Coulson was initiating the call. "Colonel Rhodes, I'm with the two morons right now, you're on speaker."
"Thank god. Where the fuck were they?"
"Hey, Rhodey-bear."
"Two weeks, Tones! Two weeks you were missing. Pepper had to cover you in meetings with the board, she canceled all the appointments you had scheduled and I'm sure Clint missed certain missions he should have been assigned to. What were you two thinking?"
"Uh, we weren't thinking too much. At least not with our brains. It was all a lot more physical, if you catch what I mean."
Clint looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "I may be a shitty agent, but you don't have a shred of self-preservation."
Tony stuck his tongue out at him and they both laughed. "Can we focus, gentlemen?"
"That’s right. Focus. Explain to me where you were all this time."
"Las Vegas," they said in unison.
"Las Veg-"
"But it was only for two days. Then we spent the days left on one of my islands. If I'm quite honest, I don't remember which one it was, I can't keep track of every island I buy."
“That’s because you shouldn’t buy more than one island, Tones,” the archer said shaking his head.
At this point, Phil was rubbing his temple in exasperation. "Colonel, they got married."
Silence was the answer they got for the next five minutes. Clint noticed that Tony was getting more and more nervous. He was biting his lip and his leg was bouncing anxiously.
To let him know that whatever happened, he was going to be right next to him for support, he took his hand and kissed him on the cheek, instantly feeling the genius relax.
"Are you telling me that after enduring the annoying brat for twenty-some years, he went and got married without inviting me?"
"That is exactly what I am saying, Colonel."
"Barton, I hope you're prepared because when I set foot in that house, you're going to have to explain to me how you let some random Elvis marry you and my brother without even telling me you wanted to marry him in the first place."
Tony's entire expression softened at the word 'brother', and Clint took it as a good signal. Even if he was a tad scared of Rhodey.
"You got it, Rhodes."
"And I guess the rest of that time was your honeymoon."
"I knew you were smart, Platypus."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I didn't sign up for this shit. I have to go, but look forward to my presence next week."
"Very well, Colonel."
"Thanks for the call, Agent Coulson. Oh, Tony? I'm sure tomorrow you're going to receive piles of paperwork with the new military contracts with Stark Industries. Have fun."
The call ended and Clint burst out laughing. "That's his revenge for not being able to give the best man speech he had planned."
"Not so fast, Hawkeye. You're on the bench. Paperwork for the rest of the month."
"What?!" Now it was Tony's turn to laugh. "That is not fair!"
"Life is not fair. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other more responsible agents to deal with. Have a nice day."
When they heard the front door close, they both looked into each other's eyes, grinning like maniacs.
"You can't tell me that this is not gonna be a good story to tell our children."
Clint kissed his lips, "The best story. Although we should leave out the fact that we spend most of our time on that island naked."
"You're probably right. We should say we swam in the ocean and made huts out of logs and palm trees. Maybe say we ate some coconuts. You know, we could even say we made a raft!"
And so, listening to his husband rambling nonsense, Clint realized that he had never made a better decision before. This man made him completely and truly happy, and he wanted to share his entire life with him.
‘til death do us part.