Chapter Text
The first few days are tense and awkward. Now that he knows his companion is Luo Binghe, he starts to understand the supercilious behavior. After all, the boy has been just as submissive and obedient at the Peak.
Some part of it annoys Shen Jiu.
Isn’t he some powerful demon? That mark on his forehead - it had been the sign of a formidable demonic lineage. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t even known then when he’d tossed him off - far too furious at the revelation of his disciple’s deception. Only years of feverish research had finally led him to that conclusion.
He still has to question Luo Binghe about his heritage. He’d offered to tell Shen Jiu the truth, but Shen Jiu has long learned not to believe words from a man’s mouth.
How damning that he has to second guess every action of a person he’d once trusted wholeheartedly. Shen Jiu hates the paranoia that haunts his every waking second, keeping him awake and unsettled.
Their dynamic has changed; though they both do their best to smooth it over for Yixuan’s sake. He’d bluntly asked, during breakfast the following day, “Is daozhang still mad at gege?”
Shen Jiu nearly chokes on the fish soup. “...No,” he says. “I’m not mad at gongzi, Yixuan.”
“That’s good!” Yang Yixuan tugs on his sleeve. “Don’t fight anymore, okay?”
Shen Jiu doesn’t plan on fighting Luo Binghe. Given that display with Yue Qingyuan the other day, he has no chance whatsoever going head-to-head against him.
And considering how Shen Jiu has been hoodwinked for an entire year, he can’t exactly put any trust in his own instincts either.
He needs to figure out what Luo Binghe is really planning.
Shen Jiu calls Yang Yixuan over in the afternoon, and examines his meridians carefully. Everything is clear. He exhales. At least he hasn’t failed him in this regard.
“I’ll give you some talismans for protection,” he says. Not that it will do much, but at the very least it’s a measure of defense. “You should keep them with you at all times.”
“All right, daozhang,” Yang Yixuan says, obedient as always.
If Luo Binghe notices that the boy is now warded against demonic energy, he says nothing. Shen Jiu has little expectation it will work on him; perhaps there’s a uniqueness to Luo Binghe’s heritage that allows him to slip through the cracks of detection.
He certainly doesn’t seem like a full demon, at any rate. Perhaps if Shen Jiu were inclined, he could examine him properly. Very few half-demons survive to adulthood; he would have certainly been killed off in the demon realm, and in the human realm...any mother would have been more than willing to get rid of him.
Shen Jiu doesn’t share any of those speculations with Luo Binghe. Likely he has come to the same conclusions himself. Much as Shen Jiu is loath to admit it, his former disciple is more cunning than he’d expected.
Which is exactly why Shen Jiu isn’t going to sit around and let himself be led astray. The next time Luo Binghe mentions that he and Yixuan are leaving for a night hunt, Shen Jiu raises his head. “I’m coming with you.”
“Daozhang doesn’t trust me?” Luo Binghe says.
“No.”
Luo Binghe says nothing after that.
Yang Yixuan sidles up beside him. “Daozhang…” he says. “You said you weren’t mad at gege anymore…”
Shen Jiu tightens his grip on his shoulder. “I’m not,” he says coldly. “I’m not allowed to come with you? Do you think I’ll hold you back?”
“Daozhang is welcome to join us,” Luo Binghe says, before Yang Yixuan can say anything else. They set off, Luo Binghe leading the way. Shen Jiu keeps a hand on Yang Yixuan, just in case.
It’s a mere water demon plaguing a nearby town, one that he or Luo Binghe can easily get rid of in a snap. Luo Binghe directs Yang Yixuan, and the boy is quick to follow, displaying improved talent. Shen Jiu observes with his limited senses; there’s nothing demonic in the skills Luo Binghe has taught, nothing that can cause a backlash.
So at least he isn’t planning to harm the boy.
Shen Jiu contemplates on his next steps. To his surprise, the same night after the hunt, Luo Binghe knocks on his door.
Reluctantly, he says, “Come in.”
Luo Binghe enters, carrying something with a flavorful aroma. “Daozhang hasn’t eaten yet,” he says softly.
“I’m not hungry,” Shen Jiu says.
Luo Binghe says, “This will help replenish daozhang’s energy. I noticed daozhang has trouble sleeping lately…”
“And whose fault is that?” Shen Jiu asks coldly.
Luo Binghe falls silent.
“If daozhang will allow, I can prepare him some herbs to calm his spirit,” he offers next.
Shen Jiu shakes his head. “I’m fine,” he says. “”Luo Binghe...aren’t you tired of being an obedient little sheep?”
“No,” Luo Binghe says immediately.
The answer infuriates him. He knocks the bowl out of Luo Binghe’s hand, and takes pleasure in hearing it break.
“Why not?” Shen Jiu snarls. “I already know what you are, so why bother pretending?”
“What does daozhang expect me to be?” Luo Binghe asks, tone aggrieved.
“Aren’t you a powerful demon?” Shen Jiu scoffs. “You were certainly a lot more aggressive when Yue-zhangmen was here.”
“Sect Master Yue was threatening you,” Luo Binghe argues. “Of course I had to chase him away for your sake!”
“For my sake?”
“He - ” Luo Binghe clenches his fists. “He has your eyes.”
This time, it’s Shen Qingqiu who is struck speechless.
He hadn’t thought Luo Binghe would notice.
Irritation spikes through him; the thought of another weakness of his exposed. “Whatever I’ve done in the past is none of your business,” he spits out. “You dare to make decisions for me? You’re nothing but an ungrateful brat!”
He says some more cruel things, none of which Luo Binghe responds to. If anything, the silence further enrages him. Shen Jiu steps forward until his palms touch Luo Binghe’s chest, and he pushes him backward out of the room.
“Get out,” Shen Jiu shouts.
“Daozhang - ”
“Out!”
He grapples for the door handle and slides it shut, panting hard.
Luo Binghe, this little beast. How dare he pretend to care. How dare he -
He sinks to the floor, trying to regulate his breathing. He’d been doing his best not to get worked up to an agitated state, but clearly it’s all for naught.
“Daozhang?”
Luo Binghe’s voice is small from behind the door.
“I won’t upset daozhang anymore, just…” he hears the sound of a fist hitting the wood.
“Anything is fine,” Luo Binghe says. “As long as I can stay by your side.”
“Even if daozhang hates me...I won’t mind. I just don’t want daozhang to be hurt…”
Shen Jiu takes another deep breath. It’s not unlike dealing with Yue Qingyuan and his bottomless pit of guilt. Just like that time, Shen Jiu has the sinking feeling that he’s done something wrong himself, that perhaps Yue Qingyuan’s choice to abandon him isn’t unfounded.
He doesn’t want to be beholden to Luo Binghe. But how to return a year’s worth of kindness?
He stays inside his room the whole day, meditating. In the silence, he can make out the sound of hushed conversation.
“Gege, why is daozhang so upset with you?”
“Don’t fuss, xiandi,” he hears Luo Binghe say. “Daozhang has every right to be mad at me.”
“But gege…you didn’t do anything wrong...”
“I did,” is Luo Binghe’s reply.
And he has! Shen Jiu wants to be vindictive. He had lied to Shen Jiu, and he, he -
He clenches his fist.
How truly terrible that he can’t find any other sin for Luo Binghe to redress. Even in the Peak, when he’d been desperate to find fault in the boy, he’d somehow remained upright and honorable. Why can’t Luo Binghe be a monster, so Shen Jiu can properly condemn him?
Why does he have to feel awful for treating him this way?
“I’m going into seclusion,” he tells Luo Binghe, after he’s sent Yang Yixuan off in his morning exercises the next day. “Don’t follow me.”
The mood around them instantly plunges.
“It’s got nothing to do with you,” Shen Jiu says flatly. “I haven’t focused on my cultivation in a while. It’s unseemly to be negligent.”
Truth be told, ever since Luo Binghe has shown up, he’d been waited on hand and foot like a young master. He’s grown too complacent. Now look where it’s led him. His heart demons have returned with a vengeance, and nothing less than a breakthrough will overcome them.
“Daozhang…” Luo Binghe hesitates. “Shizun, I - ”
“I already told you not to call me that,” Shen Jiu snaps.
“You said I could stay,” Luo Binghe says, with sudden desperation. “You said we could keep traveling together-”
“Am I asking you to leave?” Shen Jiu demands. “Do you think I’m a liar like you?”
“I could help you with your cultivation if you let me-”
Shen Jiu would rather die. To let someone who used to be his disciple treat him as much? He should slap him for the audacity. “You dare,” he hisses. “You think I need you? Get over yourself!”
“Besides,” he says, with a sniff, “If I wanted to leave you, why would I bother telling you now?” Hadn’t he run away from Cang Qiong Mountain without a word? Granted, he’d used the same excuse, but he truly isn’t planning to abandon them this time.
He also has a feeling that Luo Binghe will be much more persistent than Yue Qingyuan. So there isn’t any point.
If he truly wants to be free from Luo Binghe, he will need to take Xiu Ya and slit his throat. And that has already failed once.
He heaves a sigh. “Luo Binghe.”
“...Yes, daozhang?”
“Take care of Yixuan while I’m gone,” he says. “If anything happens to him, I will not forgive you.”
He just needs some time alone. He can’t do this with Luo Binghe hovering over him like he’s fragile porcelain.
“All right,” Luo Binghe says reluctantly. “There’s a cave by the Yichun waterfalls. There is boundless spiritual energy there, it will help benefit daozhang. I can lead him there tomorrow, if he likes.”
Shen Jiu jerks his head stiffly. “That should be fine.” and then, lower, “thank you.”
“Anything for daozhang,” Luo Binghe says. “I’ll make preparations.”
Yang Yixuan is positively inconsolable when he finds out. “Daozhang, you can’t go !” he says, clinging to him like a monkey.
“I’ll be fine,” Shen Jiu says, sighing. This sticky boy is almost as bad as Luo Binghe. “It’s just for a few months. Gongzi will take care of you.”
“It’s not the same,” Yang Yixuan insists. “Why can’t you stay in seclusion here?”
“Brat, do you understand what seclusion even is?” Shen Jiu whacks him in the head. “Luo Binghe. Write down the manual from Qing Jing Peak and make this kid copy the scrolls ten times,” he says imperiously.
“Yes, daozhang,” Luo Binghe says obediently.
“When daozhang comes back, we’ll all have dinner together, won’t we?” Yang Yixuan asks tearfully.
Shen Jiu sighs again, and pats Yang Yixuan one last time. “Mm.”
Hopefully this seclusion won’t be as difficult as his last.