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They hadn’t had much time to react before the GRC was pulling up in vans and blocking off the scene.
Protecting Walker.
Sam was fuming.
He was tense and trembling with barely contained fury. People were dead, his chances to make peace with Karli were gone, and nothing had gone according to plan.
“Shouldn’t have-”
“Man, just SHUT UP!”
The only person currently around to take his anger out on currently was Bucky Barnes.
“You think I wanted to give Steve’s legacy to a murderer? You think I wanted this? What’s wrong with you? Why would you think that? Please, tell me, I’d love to hear why you think I just wanted to stop being an Avenger and just let John fucking Walker murder people in broad daylight as the worst version of a cop that ever existed!”
Bucky for his part, clenched his jaw and stayed infuriatingly silent, just staring.
“I asked you a question!” Sam stomped over, still vibrating with fury.
Bucky didn’t back down. “You can punch me.”
“Man-what?” The weird comment made Sam stop in his tracks.
Bucky inhaled sharply in a smug way like a guy that was comfortable he about to lose some teeth in a scrap. “You heard me. Punch me in the face.”
Sam rolled his eyes, the fury suddenly rushing out of him. “Oh my god, I’m not gonna hit you,” Sam mumbled.
“Why not? You want to.”
Sam sunk down into the couch, rubbing his face in his hands, suddenly so tired. “You have some of the unhealthiest coping mechanisms I’ve ever seen.”
“It might make you feel better,” Bucky pushed.
“Probably,” Sam agreed. Bucky still hadn’t moved from where he was standing looking down at Sam. “Wait, is this…you apologizing?”
Now, Bucky did look away. “Yes.”
“You can’t just say ‘I’m sorry’ like a normal person, and that you understand why I’m upset?” Bucky glared at him again, and Sam rolled his eyes and then leaned forward thrusting his hands out. “It’s not fair, because you get hit a lot and you know how to take a hit. Wait, what the hell am I talking about, you don’t hit people to apologize! Holy shit, I can’t believe I’m saying this but you have to do the hard thing, and actually use your words.”
Bucky squinted, and looked thoughtful for a moment. “You’re right. I’m…sorry. For saying what I did. About the shield.” He looked down again, and then sank into a couch across from Sam. When he spoke again, it was much less stiff and forced. “I couldn’t see how it was affecting you. Why you did what you did. I didn’t realize you’d given it to a museum.”
Sam sighed. “I accept your apology,” Sam said. “But also look, I’m not here to be your therapist. Or your boss or…whatever.”
Bucky huffed. “You’re not my boss.”
“I know! I just said-” Sam took a deep breath cutting himself off. This man was so infuriating. And even though Sam would never admit it to anyone, it was also sort of endearing because up through now, Bucky had been content to sit back and let Sam make the strategic decisions, and when he asked Bucky to do something, he generally did it. Sam hadn’t missed that trust Bucky had placed in him, even though he guessed Bucky probably hasn’t put trust in almost anyone since he escaped Hydra. Not even Steve, initially.
But it wasn’t just Bucky.
“I gotta make this right, Buck.” He said quietly. “People are counting on me. Karli Morganthau wouldn’t be in the position she’s in if she didn’t feel she had any other choice. I mean hell, I’ve felt like that. It’s the every day. Millions of people, Buck. And people like John Walker are just gonna stomp all over them. Throw them in these, reclamation centers or whatever, stop sending food and supplies. It’s…” he gave a frustrated sigh. “It’s hard to put into words. But I know what it feels like,” he looked at Bucky then. “I know it in my heart.”
Bucky nodded slowly for a moment.
“Bucky, you’ve…got your own demons and I want to help you in any way I can, but if you don’t feel like this is your fight, I’ll respect that.”
“Do you want me to leave?” Bucky asked earnestly.
“Look man, you said some stupid stuff and you’ve made some mistakes, but you’re trying. And your heart’s in the right place. And you do kinda kick ass in a fight.” Bucky snorted. “I’d really like to have you out there with me. But it needs to be your choice. And whatever that choice is, I’ll respect it.”
Bucky nodded again, looking down at his folded hands.
“I’m coming,” he said sternly. “I want to help you. And I want to punch that smug asshole’s face in.”
“Well can’t disagree with you there. But I’m glad to have you, Bucky.”
“Sam. That shield is yours. You can…” and at this Bucky closed his eyes and looks like he was struggling for a moment, before he opened it again. “You can do what you want with that, and I’ll respect that, but it IS yours. It was never his.”
Sam nodded, glad that the comments didn’t devolve into another argument, but still a little weary. However he recognized that for Bucky, this was progress so he let it slide for the moment.
“Thanks Buck. Let’s go get it.”