Chapter Text
When Jason first found out about the new Robin, he was pissed and wholeheartedly agreed with Talia. Bruce needed to pay. How dare Bruce have the audacity to let the Joker live and replace him? How dare Timothy Drake take his place?
But one thing he didn’t agree with Talia on is getting more training. Sure, preparation is essential and all that wonderful jazz, but Jason wanted the replacement to pay now and he had been training plenty long enough. He may not be up to par enough to take down Batman yet but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t take down the new Robin.
Which is how he ended up here in Gotham. At first, he was planning to let the green fury in him win and go wild. But after watching the replacement let out a high-pitched shriek after a duck in one of Gotham’s parks started chasing him - sue him, reconnaissance had its benefits- , Jason changed his mind.
Jason muffled a laugh as the replacement jolted backwards when he noticed a rubber duck sitting in his empty coffee mug.
“What the heck! How did that get there?” He whispered in horror. The kid warily grabbed a pair of tongs and threw the toy duck out the window. It bounced off innocently on the ground with a squeak.
The Pit took immense pleasure at the kid’s scream when he found out that Jason had replaced the wallpapers of his computer, tablet, and phone to images of ducks with photoshopped arms.
“Step Two of Make the Replacement Pay complete,” Jason snickered. He swiped away from the camera feed and pocketed his phone. Time for the Red Hood to get back to work.
So far, the only disappointment from the kid was his lack of a reaction when Jason has changed “Dick” to “Duck” in every single device. Including the Batcomputer. Bruce had just sighed and fixed the bug. Batman at it again! Ruining his fun and plans. What a jerk, Jason thought.
The part of the plan was, by far, the most difficult and taxing of all. Every time, Robin went on patrol alone, Jason would drop everything, even his stand-off with Batman, and sprint to him with a bag full of rubber duckies.
Every once in a while, Tim would stop on a roof to catch his breath and survey his surroundings. Each time he did, Jason would sneak a duck right at the kid’s feet and play a rubber duck noise from his hiding spot. The kid fell for it. Every. Single. Time. He’d look down, scream, and fall off his roost.
Jason and the Pit agreed. This plan was way better than the original. Why scare the kid once when he can do it over and over again with less effort? Well, less effort compared to Jason having to break into the Titans Tower and physically beat the kid up with his bo staff.
By the end of the twenty-seventh duck on the fourth solo patrol, the kid refused to be alone for patrol anymore. Truly the greatest of tragedies, Jason lamented as he began Step Four of the plan and snuck into the Batcave where the Robin suit was currently kept.
The replacement grounded his teeth so loudly that Jason could swear he heard it through the camera.
Personally, Jason thought it was his best work yet. That duck-themed Robin uniform didn’t come from Walmart. He had to sew it himself! Thank Alfred for giving him sewing tips back when Jason still lived in the Manor.
Gingerly walking around the display, Tim informed Bruce that he would not be patrolling tonight.
As Bruce fretted over the kid’s unusual behavior, the lone rubber duck with a red helmet and leather jacket in Jason’s memorial case went unnoticed.
The replacement refused to be the first one to open doors after a shower of ducks cascaded down from his closet, bathroom, and bedroom doors. Jason considered filling the bathtub with rubber ducks as well but Ebay’s sale for cheap rubber ducks sold by the hundreds had just expired and he was not spending over a thousand dollars for this. Tim was safe… for now.
Robin paused warily, his fingers by his ear, ready to switch on his comms. The Red Hood stood before him silently in the dark alleyway. “Red Hood, what do you want?”
The crime lord said nothing as he watched. Tim slowly moved his other hand to his belt to grab some batarangs.
As lightning flashed behind a leather clad figure, the Red Hood laughed and looked at Tim in the eye. “Quack Quack,” The Hood said menacingly before throwing a smoke bomb.
Tim stayed there. Frozen.
“Robin! Where are you?” Dick’s voice called from above after a long moment.
Tim shook himself loose and climbed back up to the roof. He was Robin. He couldn’t afford to be a sitting duck.
“Ah nothing, just got distracted. I thought I saw something,” Tim said breezily with a thin smile.
“The Red Hood is dangerous-“ Bruce began from his seat at the Batcomputer.
“Fine! I’ll go to the Titans Tower,” Tim snapped. He didn’t feel like sitting through Bruce’s painful monologue.
Bruce blinked, surprised. He recovered quickly and moved on. He was Batman after all. “Good. Once I have a better grasp on what his goal is, you can come back.”
Tim nodded before pretending to be exasperated. If Bruce got suspicious, he would find out about the ducks. And if Bruce found out about that, he’d definitely take Robin away from Tim. How big of a failure was he that he was willing to abandon his post because he was scared of a few measly ducks? He was Drake for heaven’s sake. He was supposed to be better than this.
Tim shuddered. Maybe it was more than just a few ducks. Recently, the infestation has gotten worse. Everywhere he turned, there was a duck. In his left sock, in the sink, on his pillow, in his coffee pot.
Not only that, but the Red Hood had been following him more and more. He hadn’t done anything to be honest, but it was one thing to be chased by a wild duck for taking landscape pictures. It was entirely another thing to have a murderer walk up to him randomly and quack at him. The past weeks have been a... terrifying experience.
Jason skipped down the newly decorated halls of the Titans Tower. The Pit sang along enthusiastically. Everything was all going according to plan. Ducks stickers on the walls, duck cushions, duck mugs, ducks everywhere. Jason cackled, “The Replacement is going to lose his goddamn mind.”
He snuck into the kid’s now empty room and opened the door to the dog crate he had been carrying. The dog crate full of real live ducks. All drakes to be precise.
Snickering at the unleashed chaos, he shut the door firmly and went in search of the replacement. The kid had run off to investigate once he realized there was an intruder in the Tower. His look of absolute panic when he found sleeping ducks in the places of his teammates was delicious. The Pit slurped up his terror greedily. More, it hissed.
Carrying an unconscious Kryptonian and Amazonian down to the basement where the other Titans were locked up in had not been a light task. But alas, the sacrifices Jason made for the sake of revenge. C’est la vie. What else can one do?
Jason found the kid kneeling on the living room floor curled up in a ball, quivering. He leaned against the wall and cleared his throat. The kid slowly turned to him and flinched.
Before Jason could say his new favorite catch phrase, the kid bawled. Tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry- what do you want? Please stop- just please stop. This isn’t funny anymore- please please I’m sorry for whatever I did. I’m sorry! Please just stop.”
That was not part of the plan. Jason rushed over to the kid, inspecting him. Was he hurt? Was he sick? What happened? He was pretty sure he hadn’t left anything lethal or poisonous in the ducks. “Kid. Kid. What’s wrong?”
“Please-“ he whimpered, curling back into a ball on the ground.
Jason picked up the little duckling and set him onto his lap. “Shhh... breath, Timbo, breath. Take a deep breath. Talk to me, Replacement.”
“It’s just- it’s just the ducks. I’m...” Tim paused before whispering, “I’m scared of ducks.” He shuddered before pressing his face into Jason’s chest.
Jason awkwardly petted the kid. “Are you nine? Look, they’re not real. They can’t hurt you. I’m not going to either.”
“But you’re the Red Hood. You’re supposed to- you’re supposed to be mean! And hit me! And shoot me! How did you even get in here?” The kid exclaimed, leaping back. He narrowed his eyes at Jason warily.
Rolling his eyes, Jason snorted. “Just because hurting you was in the original plan doesn’t mean that it's in the revised one, Timbuktu.” He got to his feet and brushed his pants. Ugh, the kid got snot in his armor. Jason was totally making the kid pay for his laundry bill.
“Original plan? New plan? What are you planning?” The kid snarled. He would have been terrifying if he wasn’t a midget and, you know, apparently petrified of waterfowl.
“Take a chill pill, Timmy. The finale is upon us,” Jason said before strolling away.
“What is that supposed to mean? Who are you? Oh my god, you’re going to kill me. You’re going to kill me and turn into a duck like everyone else and send me to duck heaven and I’m going to die and-“ Tim rambled, taking harsher and harsher breaths as he realized Jason’s “masterplan”.
“Duck heaven? Haven’t thought of that one yet,” Jason mused, ignoring the kid. He whirled back when a loud thud hit the floor back where the kid was.
“Shit! Timberlina, seriously chill. I’m not hurting you.” Jason snapped, rushing towards him.
“Stay back! I don’t trust you! You’re- you’re just going to quack as usual and-“ he shrieked, scrambling away from Jason.
Exasperated, Jason threw the first thing he could reach which ended up being his helmet at the kid. “I just said calm down, stupid. Are you stupid? I’m not going to hurt you. I was literally just scaring you. You’re great entertainment by the way, Replacement.”
The helmet bonked against Tim’s head. “You- what? Jason? You’re Jason? You’re alive? You’re the Red Hood?”
Jason squatted down before the kid, rolling his eyes. “Yes. Are you done now?”
“But you’re supposed to be nice!”
“What do you mean supposed to? I am!” Jason protested. He could be plenty nice when he wanted to be, excuse him!
“You’re literally tormenting me with ducks! That’s the opposite of nice,” Tim shot back.
“Those aren’t even real ducks. It’s not like I put real ducks in your room… Actually you might want to avoid going to your room,” Jason trailed off.
Tim jabbed him in the chest. “You put ducks in my room? Why the heck would you do that? Why the heck are you doing this? Why are you even here?”
“Your fear of ducks summoned me to do my bidding,” Jason said sarcastically.
The kid practically pouted, folding his arms. His eyes were still shining from tears. “Why couldn’t your bidding be nice like taking me out for ice cream or taking me on an adventure or teaching me how to shoot people? Why did it have to be ducks?”
“You want me to teach you to shoot people with a gun,” Jason said incredulously. At the kid’s nod, he groaned, “Bruce is going to be so disappointed in you. Heck, I’m supposed to be the family disappointment, kiddo. Not you.”
“Anything is better than the ducks! Of all things, why would you choose a duck?”
“I literally saw you scream when a duck approached you in the park a while back,” Jason said dryly.
“You’ve been stalking me?!”
Jason narrowed his eyes. “Hey, you don’t have any rights, baby stalker. Yeah I read your file, you little twerp.”
Tim spluttered for a long moment before snapping, “Just take me away from this hell. I don’t care what we do as long as it’s anything but this.”
Jason hummed thoughtfully. He grinned at Tim’s expectant look. “Ever wanted to get Dick back for all his pranks?”
A Cheshire grin matched his.