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Niall has been dating Harry for 6 months and 23 days now, and he hasn't said "I love you" to his boyfriend, not once.
It's not that Niall doesn't love harry. He truly feels it in his heart that Harry's his one and only. Niall loves his curly-haired goofball, loves their same taste in music, love their inside jokes, their different sense of style. Niall loves how his body seems to just fit into Harry's whenever they're together, feels like puzzle pieces connecting. He loves how their energy seems to mold together to make such beautiful colours.
It's just that Niall's scared. Scared that he's in over his head with Harry. Scared that it's just one way. Scared of committing. Niall sometimes has spikes of panic at the thought that Harry will one day stumble upon someone better than him, someone who will love his Harry better. Niall dreads the day that Harry leaves him, finding someone new and forgetting him.
It's a little embarrassing for him to admit it, but Niall met Harry through a dating app. Niall had downloaded the app after drinking a pint too many down at his local pub. After being stood up, again, by some chick that was set up by a friend, of a friend. Niall shouldn't be so torn up about it, but he is. He shouldn't have put so much hope in this date, but he did.
After downing the last of his pint, Niall clicks into the dating app. He brushed his hair out of his face as he breezed through filling in the "about me" bits. After attaching a few of his most recent photos of himself, Niall is finally shown the hot singles that are in his area like promised.
That's where Niall landed on a curly-haired lad he knows now as Harry, who, in his profile photos, has got long locks that go down to his shoulders. Niall will admit, this lad's got a beautiful face. And he's tall too, Niall notices as he swiped through Harry's photos. Niall lets out a loud laugh as he reads what Harry's written in his bio.
"Hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ;)"
With liquid courage in his veins, Niall swiped right on Harry, who looked too far out of his league.
After browsing the app for a while longer, and swiping on a few blokes and lasses, Niall puts his phone back in his pocket. After he signaled to the barkeep that he's paid for his drinks, Niall shuffles out of the pub and walks the short walk back to his place.
It wasn't until he got home and was about to turn off his bedside light that Niall got a notification that he got a match. Niall let's the notification fall to the wayside as he lets sleep take him under.
When Niall wakes up, he sees that he's got a message from his match from last night. Sitting up on his bed, Niall taps on the notification, phone going straight to opening the dating app. The app opens the conversation, and Niall is surprised to see that he matched with the very handsome Harry. And apparently, the very handsome Harry messaged him.
"Roses are red. You’re cute as a duck. Let’s go on a date. And then we can cuddle."
The two hit it off after that. After messaging each other on the app the whole day, they decided to exchange numbers for further communication. And the rest is history as they say.
Thinking about Harry on his walk, this leads Niall to his boyfriend's doorstep, ringing the doorbell.
A sleepy Harry opens the door, wearing only a pair of tight briefs that don't really do a good job at hiding his morning wood. Harry's got a lazy smile on his lips, happy to see his boyfriend. Harry softly says a greeting to Niall, his knuckles rubbing circles in his eyes, trying to rid himself of sleep.
"Good morning pet. I was in the neighbourhood and thought I'd pop by to say 'hi'." Niall says while revealing a box of doughnuts from behind his back. It's from Harry's favourite bakery, a little family run shop that's just around the corner from here. “And I got these because I know they’re your favourite."
Harry's eyes light up at the sight of the familiar pink paper box. "Aw, thank you Ni, I love you so much!" Harry ends the sentence by smacking a wet kiss onto Niall's lips, swiping the box of doughnuts in the process.
"You got the sprinkles ones too! My favourite ones!" Harry's yelling over his shoulder as he stuffs a doughnut into his mouth, walking back into the house and towards the kitchen.
Niall follows behind him with a soft chuckle, closing the door behind him. Niall meets Harry in the kitchen, where he finds his boyfriend sat on top of the countertop, legs open for Niall to fit in between. As Niall slowly approaches Harry, his eyes are glued to Harry's mouth. Harry is sat there, seductively eating this sprinkle doughnut, tongueing at it way too much for it to be unintentional, while groping his morning wood with his other hand. Harry's eyes are hooded as his hungry green eyes stare back at Niall, eyes never wavering as he strokes lazily at his hard on through the material.
"Who taught you how to eat a doughnut like that? You've got it all on your face." Niall says voice low, taunting Harry as his hands come up to rub at the younger lad's thighs.
"I saw it on the internet once. In a video. But I got it figured out all by myself." Harry says as he finishes off the doughnut, sucking hard on each of his sticky sugar-coated fingers, each of them making an obscenely wet "pop" sound as they leave Harry's wet lips.
"Yeah? What else did you see on the internet, Harry?" Niall's voice is raspy now, voice coated with lust. His hands make their way to Harry's hips, pulling him closer. A gasp escapes Harry's wet lips as his hard cock rubs lightly at Niall's hips, feels a sneak peak of pleasure for what to come.
"This." Harry's hands come up to cradle Niall's face, feeling the light stubble underneath, as he leans in, closing the gap between their lips. Harry dives his tongue deep into Niall's mouth without very much warning. He's swirling his tongue, rubbing it seductively against Niall's. Harry tastes sweet, of coffection sugar and artificial sprinkles.
Harry's moaning into the kiss as he bucks his hips up, trying to feel any sort of friction. Niall sneaks a hand in between them, and swiftly takes Harry's hard cock out from his briefs through the fly. Niall kisses Harry just as hungrily back as he jerks off his boyfriend at a slow steady pace. The sounds of slapping skin and wet kissing bounce around the kitchen as things turn heated.
Harry breaks the kiss when he feels Niall hands on his briefs. "C-can I suck you off?" Harry sputters out his question to Niall, eyes glazed over with want.
"Fuck, sure, yeah." Niall steps back, stepping out of his shorts and briefs as Harry steps down from the countertop, and kneels in front of Niall. Harry's got one hand on Niall's hip and the other is jerking Niall's leaking cock. Harry looks up at Niall, eyes wide and innocent as he takes Niall's cock into his mouth, sucking lightly at the tip. Before Niall can protest for more, Harry's taking Niall deeper down into his mouth until Harry's nose rubs at Niall's pubic hair. Harry stays there for a moment, eyes wide, mouth slack open on a hard cock, trying to keep his throat open as long as possible as he nudges his boyfriend's hip, signaling him to fuck his mouth.
And Niall does. He fucks into Harry's mouth at a harsh pace. He had started slow at first, but after Harry whined a bit around his cock for him to go faster, Niall's now thrusting hard into Harry's mouth, using it like his personal fuck hole.
Harry's got watery eyes and his lips are red by the time Niall comes down Harry's throat. Niall comes with a shout loud moan, grasping a hand in Harry's curls as he pushes down on his head, making Harry gag. That's when Harry comes in his briefs, with a low whine as he makes a stain on the front of his pants.
"I love you Niall, that was great." Harry says with a lazy smile on his face, looking up at Niall who's leaning on the counter, hovering above Harry.
A lump forms in Niall's throat, three words caught on the tip of his tongue. But Niall doesn't say it. Instead, he leans down and kisses Harry hard, hoping to convey his feelings through the kiss.
/////
It's late in the evening, after dinner when Niall pulls out a little box of pre-rolled joints.
Harry lets out a loud laugh, but takes the offered joint anyway. They're in Harry's living room, sitting on the rugged floor with their backs pressed against the sofa.
Harry's finally put some clothes on after they fucked in the kitchen. He's now wearing a gray t-shirt and some joggers. Harry leant Niall some clean pair of briefs and some comfortable pajama pants to wear instead of his shorts.
They pass the joint between each other, periodically tapping the ash in the ashtray in the coffee table in front of them.
The television's playing some late night talk show but Niall doesn't pay it much mind, much more content staring at Harry's profile. Casted in the dim light from the television, the shadows play on Harry's features, accentuating his fairy nose and perfectly plump lips. The dim lights of the room cast Shadows on his eyelashes, the ones that flutter closed whenever something funny is said, face scrunched up in a laugh. It's probably not that funny. Harry's probably too high to decipher humor from actual words. And looking at Harry like this, makes Niall want to so badly say those three words to him. Makes Niall want to shout it from the rooftops. But Niall doesn't. Instead, he says softly into the air in front of him.
“Whenever I’m with you I am real."
Harry turns his face and looks at Niall inquisitively, then laughs because he doesn't get it. Harry's laughing until he realizes, in the dim lighting, that Niall's got tears in his eyes.
"Baby, babe, why are you crying? Was it because I laughed at what you said just now? I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Harry's got a hand wiping the tears from under Niall's eyes while the other hand finds Niall's and laces their fingers together. Niall shakes his head, soldiers on, wanting to convey his feelings through words that just aren't those three words to Harry
“I wish I could stay here forever. Just me and you."
Harry's got tears of his own now, overly emotional from the weed. Harry's usual happy face crumbles into tears as he wipes the continuous tears that flow from his boyfriend's eyes, not caring about his own.
"You can. I love you. So much. So so much."
Harry's kiss is wet and salty against Niall's lips. The kiss is filled with emotion that words can't begin to describe. They kiss and kiss and kiss.
The kiss stops for a moment, air filled with gasping breaths, as the two shed their clothes, which is actually quite a monumental task when Niall and Harry are both high, feeling mighty good but also mighty uncoordinated. The two laugh at each other as they struggle to remove their clothes from their long jello limbs. Harry would pout and try to help Niall out of his clothes, forgetting the joggers that are still around his ankles. Niall would be so busy ogling Harry's body that he'd forget about the task at hand. After freeing themselves from their clothes, they drag each other to the bedroom.
Niall pauses for a moment when they both are sitting on the edge of the bed, facing each other. Naked, both erected cocks on display. Showing each other their personal want for one another. Niall pauses because they haven't gone further than just blowjobs and kissing. In the time that he's known Harry, Niall had noticed that the younger lad was always holding back when things got hot and heated between them. Never going any further. Until tonight. Tonight, Niall is going to show Harry how much he loves him, through the act of making love to him.
Niall leans in and kisses Harry. Kisses him dizzy with want. Niall kisses him until Harry's mind is nothing but NIALLNIALLNIALL. Niall deepens the kiss as he pushes Harry onto the bed, a pale hand roaming tattooed skin. As they kiss, Niall's hand that's on Harry's chest snakes it's way down. Down past Harry's leaking cock, and in between his thighs. Niall's finger plays lightly at Harry's hole, testing the waters.
When Harry stops their kissing to nod at Niall to continue, Niall pushes a pointer finger into Harry, fingering him shallowly. It's not until Harry's a hot mess underneath him that Niall realizes he's got three fingers in Harry.
"I want you. Now." Harry all but whines out, breathless.
That's enough of a signal for Niall to swiftly take his fingers out, and replace it with his hard cock. Niall let's Harry adjust to the size of him, before he continues to move. Niall continues to kiss Harry eagerly as he sets a steady pace, thrusting himself into Harry, making the bed creak on beat. A cacophony of sounds can be heard from the bedroom. From skin slapping skin, to wet slobbery lips moving against each other, to moans and groans and the bed creaking, it's no wonder what they're doing in there.
As Niall thrusts hard into Harry, Niall's got one hand cradling Harry's head and the other is jerking him off in time with his hips. Harry moans into the kiss as he comes all over his own stomach, painting his chest with white spunk. Feeling harry clench around him got Niall coming into harry, moaning out Harry's name as he comes hard.
After they both caught their breaths, Niall slides his softened cock out of Harry, a trail of spunk leaking out of Harry's asshole, dripping onto the bed sheet.
Harry snuggles into Niall, not caring about the drying spunk that's on his torso. Harry fits into Niall like a little spoon into a big spoon, Niall holding Harry from behind.
Niall falls asleep to the rhythmic rise and fall of Harry's chest under his hand.
/////
Niall wakes up to the sound of wrenching from the bathroom across the hall, and an empty space beside him in bed.
Niall, worried now, gets up quickly and finds his pair of joggers and a shirt on the floor and puts it both on hurriedly as he stumbles his way to the bathroom door. Niall can hear Harry's hiccuped breath as he sobs about something. Nia pushes open the door to see Harry in just his briefs on the floor of his bathroom, leaning on the toilet for dear life, sobbing his eyes out and on the verge of hyperventilating.
Panic sets in at the sight of Harry like this, Niall's usual sunshine goofball all shrunken up with worry and fear. Niall rushes to Harry's side, sinking down to the floor beside him. Niall grabs a hold of Harry and hugs him close, hoping his arms will hold all the love in the world to give to Harry when he's like this. Harry collapses in Niall's arms, grabbing a hold of Niall's shirt in his tight grasp. Brushing a comforting hand through Harry's curls, the older lad asks the other what was wrong. And thank god they're at a point in their relationship where Niall and Harry can be honest about their feelings with each other. Harry tilts his head up to look at Niall, and says through tears.
"I-I'm scared you're gonna leave me now. Now that we've had sex. Like her. Like all of them always do. They leave when they finally fucked me like I'm some prize to be gained. And I always end up alone." Harry's back to proper sobbing into Niall's chest now, shaking body in his arms. Niall continues running his fingers through Harry's curls, while the other hand rubs comfortingly on the younger lad's back.
"I'm not gonna leave. I'll be here even when you don't want me to be. I'm here to stay. Just me and you. I'm here to take care of you as long as you need me." Niall's now slowly rocking a sniffling Harry in his arms, and those three words are on the tip of his tongue but all he can say is. “You’re not alone anymore."
/////
When Niall wakes up, Harry's still sound asleep beside him on the bed. Looking at Harry like this is always a calming thing. Harry's usual hyper self is turned off when he's asleep, body in resting mode as he sleeps on his side, still in the position of little spoon from last night's cuddle session. The blankets pool around Harry's waist, exposing his long tattooed torso and arms for the morning sun's rays to shine on. Niall sits up on the bed, leans against the headboard, actions slow as to not wake Harry. From this angle, Niall studies Harry's profile. He admires the younger lad's freckles, his fairy nose and his Cupid's bow that dawns his dusty pink lips.
It was when the morning light shone through the windows, casting through Harry's curls, in some halo manner, that Niall finally felt confident enough to tell Harry that he loved him, wholeheartedly.
Just then, Harry stirs in his sleep, backing up into Niall's hip thinking it was his chest. That's when Harry stirs awake, and turns onto his back, looking up at Niall with a big lazy grin similar to the one of the Cheshire cat, eyes hooded.
"Mornin'." Harry rasps out, voice thick with sleep still.
"Mornin' pet." Harry snuggles into Niall's stomach, curly hair tickling his chest. Niall chuckles a little as he combs a hand through Harry's curly locks. They breath each other in for a moment, just drinking each other's presence. They do this sometimes, in the mornings when they don't want to get out of bed yet, and don't want to face the world yet. After a long pause, Niall says, voice low only for harry to hear.
“Nothing in your past will ever stop me caring about you and loving you for who you are, harry. I know you've gone through some hardships in your previous relationships but me and you, we're different. I feel it in my bones when I tell you we're gonna make it. Through the ups and the downs, I'll be there by your side the whole time. Harry." Niall stops the movement of his hand to get the younger lad to look up at him before he speaks, blue eyes filled with so much emotion, Niall feels like he's going to burst from it.
"I love you, Harry."
Harry just stares at Niall from where he is against his chest, just studying his face. After a moment, Harry's face breaks out into a beaming smile as he leaps up to cup Niall's face in his hands and kisses Niall full on the lips, hard. When they seperate from kissing, Harry's the first to speak.
"I've known you loved me for a while now. You didn't have to say it in those 3 words exactly, but I felt it in your actions. I felt it in the energy you gave off when you're around me. And just so we're on the same page mister, I love you too."
Niall kisses Harry's lips over and over, mumbling the words "I love you" over and over again, until it's nothing but a senseless babble as the two retreated back under the sheets.