Chapter Text
Lincoln's first DEO mission was more exciting for Alex then it was for him. She was just so proud. He should have died ten times over, should have given up in the depths of the Pit. And yet, here he sat, in DEO blacks, suiting up with the rest of em. And on Vasquez’s squad no less – quite the statement of his abilities. Vas would have vet him personally to be with Beta. On an emergency operation at that.
The van jostled as they turned a corner too sharp, but Vas barely swayed from where she was standing, running through the limited operation details double time while they hightailed it through the desert.
“Report of an alien of unknown species in the warehouse district – unstable and strong. Tore straight through the concrete wall to get into a distribution center. Fortunately, it is out of operation, so no civilians are present, but still proceed with caution. It’s large, dangerous, and supercharged.” Alex’s jaw clenched at the use of ‘it’ but otherwise she stored the information, checking her chamber for a ready round and breathed. Closed her eyes and counted down from ten.
When she opened the doors, Captain Danvers was contained in a neat little box at the back of her mind. Agent Danvers was the one who shoved open the back of the van on location, leading the single file Alpha Team through the designated travel zone. Vas mirrored her along the opposite side of the brand-new makeshift entrance their alien target had made in the cement wall.
Gesturing for her to lead the way, Alex carefully stepped over the lip of debris, scanning for movement in the shadowed space. They’d walked straight into a machine heavy room, forcing both teams to navigate around complex appliances, slowing their progress and limiting their visibility.
But then they heard what they were looking for.
The agonized howl from the next room, a loading dock, had Vas and Danvers gesturing for their squads to converge, staying tight to their six. Letting Vas hold for cover, Alex ducked around the final entry way, taking cover by a grouping of boxes – giving her just enough space to kneel and edge her eyes over the top.
She studied the alien carefully while everyone else filed in silently. Huge. White Martian huge. Dense hide covered in a smattering of fur. Thick tail whipped behind them viciously, taking out massive containers without effort. Their claws were visible and extended, coming out of curled hands.
A werewolf. For all intents and purposes, this looked like a werewolf.
Fuck.
Alex quickly gestured for Vas to hold as she ducked behind the cover the teams converged at. Her friend tilted her head in confusion but nodded, making a fist, instructing everyone to kneel and wait. Alex activated her comms, keeping her voice as steady and professional as possible. “Director Lane, do you copy?”
“What’s the problem, Agent Danvers?” Lucy’s voice was crisp – All Director. Alex ground her teeth, desperately wishing J’onn was leading the op.
“I need authorization to change the objective.”
The silence over the comms was deafening – every Agent around her glanced over in confusion, guns at the ready. This was not helped by the alien in question giving another skull vibrating snarl, claw bigger than her head slicing through a metal processing unit. Like it was made of butter.
“You already have authorization to use deadly force, Agent.” Because Ella had eyes on the factory – they could see how dangerous this alien looked. So, Lucy assumed she was worried about her team’s safety. Assumed that she didn’t want to risk engaging head on.
That was the exact opposite of the case.
“I think this is an Elgadorian,” she explained, glancing at Lincoln from the corner of her eye. He looked just as tense as she felt. “I don’t want to engage at all.”
Vas looked over, brows lifted, abject shock coloring her face, echoed by the silence over the comms.
“Are you asking to withdraw from the op?” Lucy sounded just as dubious as Vas looked.
“No,” the alien’s tail collided with a truck, tipping it onto its side. The sound thundered across the docking space so violently that Alex had to pause. Wait until the echoing vibrations finally stopped in order to be heard. “I want to approach unarmed.”
Now the silence was complete.
Alex swallowed heavily, dropping away from her vantage point to lean against the box. Fingers tight over her M4 – which suddenly felt like a lead weight in her hands.
“Elgadorian’s are non-violent,” she rushed to explain, feeling the weight of tension over the line. “But if they're scared, or threatened, they become…” how could she explain? The alien let out another howl – but Alex didn’t hear fury in the sound anymore. She heard fear and they were going to run out of time. If the alien left the premises, they would have no choice but to engage. “I need you to trust me. As your lead bioengineer and alien expert,” she added with a shaky exhale. “I can deescalate this situation without any bloodshed.”
The silence carried, and Alex felt her heart slam against her ribs. Felt the weight of every DEO Agent's shock. Probably their distrust.
But she didn’t care. As much as she tried not to be when in the field, she was Captain Danvers, and she was not in the business of attacking terrified people, alien or no.
“You are authorized to do what you think is necessary,” the voice was hard, still the Director speaking, but Alex knew Lucy was under the words. Heard what wasn't said.
“I do trust you Alex.”
“Not like you used to – but that’s okay. We’ll get back there.”
And here they were, eighteen months later, back there. Back to a place where her partner was willing to take a leap, trust her instincts, even in the face of a giant freaken werewolf. But she could celebrate that victory later.
“Copy,” and she shoved her automatic into the arms of the closest Agent. Ripping off her tac helmet, she immediately started to strip out of her Kevlar. “What are you doing?” Vas hissed, eyes wide and horrified as her friend stripped away her protection. Alex didn’t reply, too busy unstrapping her thigh holster and taking out her knives – placing everything quietly on the concrete floor. She hoped Lucy didn’t have eyes on this part of her plan.
She’d later find out she did. And was... less than pleased about it.
Taking a final breath, she nodded at Lincoln and stood up.
It took about five full steps into open space for the alien to notice her.
The snarl it let out set her blood running cold. Holding up her hands, she paused, watching as golden eyes lock on her, huge body lowering onto all fours – a defensive position. Though it made her veins spark with electricity, her own protective instincts flaring sharp and violent in her blood. But she didn’t back down, didn’t let any of that show.
“Hi,” she spoke clearly, but loudly. The snarl in response was vicious, but she didn’t react outwardly. “I’m Alex,” gold eyes darted around. Looking for an exit. “Whoa, hey. You don’t have to be scared,” she ducked her head, just like she did when Ky or Kara wouldn’t look her in the eye. Brown eyes met gold, and she smiled. ”There you are – hi. I’m sorry about whatever happened today that made you so upset. But I’m here to help. Or try at least.”
She placed a hand over her chest, working to simplify her language. Soften her tone. It was going to be hard enough for them to process human communication, let alone everything else going on. She was watching the way their eyes flickered, tail twitching, and could tell they were overstimulated – mind feeding them continuous streams of information, muddling everything in with terrified instincts.
“I work for an organization that sometimes tries to help aliens – when they’re hurt or scared. I just want to make sure you’re okay, and that no one gets hurt while you calm down.” The alien shrank away – something akin to a whimper escaping a giant maw. “Whoa, hey,” Alex took a step forward. “It’s okay. I know, you’re just scared. You don’t want to hurt anyone. That’s why you came into the warehouse, right? So no one would see you.”
The alien didn’t nod, but its eyes skirted, like she’d hit the mark. “You’re from Dorla F, huh? I’ve met another Elgadorian before – he was very kind, compassionate. But one day, my ship was raided, and he was attacked. He lost control,” she tilted her head, eyes soft, lip twitching. “Got real big, real quick.”
A nod, just a touch, just enough to miss if you weren’t looking.
They were calming down.
“How ‘bout this?” Alex smiled, corners of her eyes wrinkling. “I’m gonna sit down right here, and we’re just gonna stay together until you feel like you can breathe. And then you can try and tell me your name, and what happened, and I’ll do everything I can to help,” another tiny, barely perceptible, nod. Slowly lowering her body and sat cross-legged. Resting her elbow on her knee and chin on her fist, she watched the alien closely with a smile. “I’ve never been to Dorla F, but my friend told me a lot about it – given you’re on Earth, you might never have seen it yourself. Is it okay if I tell you about it? My kid,” she huffed a small laugh, eyes tracking how the alien settled onto its hunches. “She used to love when I told stories when she had a bad day. Might help you feel calmer?”
The alien didn’t agree or disagree in any discernable manner, so Alex dived in. She told the target about the rolling hills, how the banks of grass led straight into watery depths – the green visible even deep into the oceans. How the forests weren’t as thick as many Earth ones, but they were just as lush – deep greens and vibrant blues painting the woods. She had just started talking about their solar system, the stars visible day and night, twin suns rotating painting the planet in light, when the alien started to shift.
They shrank first. Giant monster slowly descended into a tiny human – standing upright, he probably reached just above Alex’s hip. Dark hide and fur melted into soft brown skin, and a mop of curly hair. What was left from the terrifying creature was just a boy – maybe eight – curled on the floor with his arms wrapped around his knees. A child. Looking small and terrified. Streaks of mud and dirt blemished his face and hands, blood under his fingertips likely his own.
Alex’s heart broke.
“Hey, there you are,” she smiled softly, but didn’t move. “Can you tell me your name?”
“Leo.”
“That’s a strong name,” she shifted slowly, drawing herself onto her knees, then into a crouch. “Can I come and look at you, Leo? You seem a little hurt, and I wanna make sure you’re okay.”
Golden eyes flickered over her, lingering on her neck scar. “You a doctor?”
“I am.”
A tiny nod, something like determination flaring behind his eyes. “…Okay then.”
Even with his permission, she approached slowly. Aware that the wrong move could startle him back into his other form. His much, much deadlier form. Aside from some minor scratches to his face and arms, he was in good shape. Terrified, trembling, but in good shape.
“I’m gonna ask a friend of mine to come out from behind a box just up there,” she pointed, making sure that nothing surprised him. “I just want to get you a jacket – try and get you warmed up.”
Narrow, suspicious eyes locked where she pointed. After a moment of contemplation, he nodded, though she could see how his body coiled – ready to run at the slightest notice.
She reached up, activating her comms. “Linc, can you bring me a tac jacket please?” Turning to the boy, she smiled, wrinkling her nose more than necessary. He relaxed at the expression, those his eyes remained cautious. “Lincoln’s a pretty big dude – don’t worry though, he’s a real softy.”
[…]
It took several hours to determine that Leo had been at school on the edge of town when a bully antagonized him. Not normally a problem, except the 30 days every year where a hormone is released in his system which can set off a… drastic fight or flight response.
The bully was just lucky Leo is more of a runner.
Alex had handed the boy over to a shaking, crying mother, who hugged her so hard it hurt. Not that she complained. Then, quickly as she could, she returned to the lockers to finally, finally undress. She’d gone straight from the van to medical, giving Leo a proper check over out of the field, leaving Vas to debrief both teams. So, she was still in her blacks, minus the protective gear and weapons.
The empty locker room was a blessing.
Finally, finally, she let the rage swell up in her stomach. It swarmed into her chest cavity, gathering at the base of her throat, threatening to tear itself out of her.
She slammed her locker door closed hard enough to rattle the whole row and leave imprints of her fingers. The metal was too warped to close, but the fist she put into the front certainly ended its life early. Squeezing her eyes shut Alex sat down, hard, on one of the benches. Hunching over her own form, she tried to regulate shaky breathing, real hand digging into her hair and fisting. Used the pain, focused on it, to try steady her frantic mind.
Bionic fingers pressed over both eyes, she didn’t see Lucy enter the room. But she heard her.
“Alex?” The warmth of her girlfriend’s touch pressed into her forearm, Lucy straddling the bench next to her. “What’s wrong?”
There were no words. No way to explain. Nothing in her mind but furious static. Just Alex, eyes clamped shut, body shuddering along with her breathing.
“Alex,” soft fingers dragged along her exposed arm. “You were right – you saved that kid – you helped him.”
Still nothing.
“Alex-“
“I’ve killed an Elgadorian before,” she spoke without removing her hand from her eyes. Unable to bare the sight of the world right now. Not while she confessed this sin. “My first year. They were threatening an office building in the middle of the day. Civilians everywhere, screaming. We breached, full engagement, standard operation at the time. And when we managed to corner him in a stairwell, I shot him. Right through the head. Didn’t even think about it."
The longest pause of silence. Stretched between them, ash gathering in Alex's throat.
And then.
"They don’t change back after they die.”
“Alex-“
“What If that was a kid, Lucy?” She removed her hand, broken eyes staring at her girlfriend in desperation. Wet and horrified and filled with loathing. “I’d never know. And even if it wasn’t, they didn’t mean to hurt anyone. It’s just a defensive response. And I killed-“
Her voice choked off – the horror too real to speak into reality anymore.
She hadn’t even been bothered. She put the alien threat down, just like she was taught. No sleep lost. But now…
Lucy’s voice was soft with sympathy, thumb rubbing against her wrist. “You didn’t know.”
“I didn’t care.” The truth so bluntly put had Lucy inhaling, sharp and pained. “I killed a person – I don’t even know who – and never thought about it again. Just because they were an alien.”
“I know.”
“How am I supposed to live with that?” Alex turned; empty eyes fixed on her girlfriend. Looking for answers she could never give. “How am I supposed to live with myself?”
Lucy stared back, serious eyes meeting hers, genuinely considering. Then, finally, she reached up, tucking some hair behind an ear, the barest of comforts. And all Alex would willing accept right now. “You make the next best decision you can, with the information at hand,” she rested her palm against a flushed cheek, catching the tear before it fell. “And you do everything in your power to help the next person.”
Alex’s eyes slid shut, leaning into the soft warmth of Lucy’s hands. The safety of her love. When she finally opened them, there was a new kind of fire in her eyes – a new kind of purpose burning behind whiskey. A purpose that wouldn't find its place, not yet, not for a while. But a purpose that had always been there - burning behind the surface of Alex Danvers, in all her iterations.