Chapter Text
Wei Ying and Lan Zhan parted ways after the GuanYin Temple fiasco. Wei Ying told his ZhiJi goodbye and made his way opposite to him with his bratty, beautiful Lil’ Apple by his side. He would miss him, but he did not want to intrude on the Cultivation World anymore. He had granted Mo XuanYu his revenge. He had been cleared of all the false accusations from both his lives, but he needed space. For himself and those around him. It wasn’t fair that they would have to deal with his messy self. He knew that he couldn’t intrude on his ZhiJi’s life, who would be pretty busy now that he had to act as Acting Sect Leader of Gusu Lan, given that his brother was now in seclusion. He definitely wasn’t as close to Jiang Cheng as he had been before he became the YiLing Patriarch. And Nie HuaiSang needed to have some peace of mind after this revenge that he spent years in making and scheming. He deserved the rest.
So Wei Ying went his merry way, traveling and helping any and all he could. He met Wen Ning and his A’ Yuan on the way, both parting ways. Wen Ning wanted to stay in Qishan for some time before going to stay in the outskirt forest surrounding Gusu and A’ Yuan was going back to help Lan Zhan as the Head Disciple. Before parting, Wei WuXian gave both of them a talisman that would help them contact him if any emergency arose. A’ Yuan threw himself at him, just as he had done before. “Please take care, A’ Die.” Warmth spread within him and he tightened his hold on his son. “You too, little radish. I promise to return soon.”
News spread after the first month of the Second Young Master of Lan had now also been granted the mantle of Chief Cultivator. Hearing this, Wei WuXian was filled with worry about his Lan Zhan. His Lan Zhan, who wouldn’t speak to anyone unless it was to berate them and who gave anyone who did anything wrong, the bitchiest look of all, now had to overlook the idiotic Sect Leaders. Wow, Wei WuXian snorted, this is the worst kind of punishment Lan QiRen could give Lan Zhan.
He spent the next four months far in the north and east sides, training his weak body and his new Golden Core. He knew not when Mo XuanYu’s body started to wither away and his own began to replace it. All he knew was that when he rejoined the world, emerging after months in the forests, the first mirror he saw showed him his own face. Not Mo XuanYu, but Wei WuXian’s face. He bought the small mirror, which was a travel-friendly one, and a few ribbons and hairpieces. Hesitantly, he picked up the Jade comb that was sitting on a soft, velvety cushion. Then he shook his head and kept it back down. The shop vendor opened his mouth to convince his customer to bring the comb too, but on seeing the heartbroken expression on his face, kept his mouth shut. He pitied the poor soul, who looked to be deeply in love and overwhelmed by sadness. Maybe he had never gotten to tell his lover about his feelings, probably realized late that what he felt was love and now the lover must have gotten married.
But Wei WuXian had long ago realized how much he loved his ZhiJi. He thought that maybe everyone in Lotus Pier knew. After all, he had constantly talked about Lan WangJi every second he got the chance. His Shijie had laughed knowingly at him when he had first confided in her that what he felt for Lan WangJi was something he had then yet to realize. It was when he was in the cave, stuck with the one who confused him so that he realized that he was in love. With Lan WangJi. The very person he was sure hated his guts but who stayed behind to help him, who sang to him, let him lay his head on his lap, who tried to help him by putting healing herbs on his burn and whom he teased about liking MianMian while his heart broke inside of his chest. Looking back, he couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t been in love with Lan WangJi. Maybe that was why whenever he spoke of him, his fellow disciples rolled their eyes and giggled among themselves. Maybe that was why his Shijie and Uncle Jiang hid their smiles behind their sleeves, and maybe that was why Madam Yu rolled her eyes and ‘tsked’. Looking back, maybe he had been the only one to not realize that he was totally enamored with the Second Jade of Lan.
And then Lotus Pier burned and he became a demon people feared. He became unworthy of standing by Lan WangJi’s side and so, tried his best to stay away. But how could he, when he felt he would suffocate when he wasn’t near to the other, when he wasn’t teasing him and recording his micro-expressions in his heart and mind, when he couldn’t watch the intensity of the golden eyes that would always be trained on him.
After five months of travel and training, he made his way to MeiShan Yu Sect. Madam Yu may not have liked him, but she was aware of his talents and wanted only the best to protect her children. That was why when he grew efficient at swordplay at the age of twelve, she sent him to her natal Sect, where he met Popo. Popo sensed immediately what he was capable of. She trained him, his body and his mind, sharpening his knowledge and his muscles, till he could incapacitate his enemies before they got into attacking range. His Golden Core grew tremendously and when he returned, he was no longer the naïve boy who had left. Madam Yu gave him one more month of lessons, where she drilled into him every single thing he could know about Sect policies and the Sects’ politics. It was when it had been made very clear that he had only been instigated into the Clan as a servant, a means for Jiang Cheng to get better and for the two heirs to have the perfect bodyguard. That was his job, his duty. It was why Uncle Jiang had ordered him to protect his children. It was why Madam Yu had hissed at him to protect her son till death. His training had been the reason why even after giving up his Core, he was still able to fight in the war, why he could still protect the Wens (not for long, but at least he could extend their lives by a year).
So, now, when he felt disconnected from his own body, from the world and his mind, he made his way to Popo, who welcomed him with tears in her eyes. And she began training him once again. There was a reason why Jiang YanLi and Jiang Cheng had never been sent to Popo because Madam Yu refused for them to learn the way of MeiShan Yu. The way of assassins. Madam Yu herself had never done her formal training in their ways. She had only taken up her whip and sword practice, and just a little less combat training. Only with that she had managed to take the Cultivation World by storm, earning herself the title of ‘Violet Spider’. WuXian admired her, not her ways of tough love, but her spirit and strength, her conviction and her stubbornness. He had gotten that stubbornness naturally from his mother, if Grandmaster Lan was to be believed and from seeing Madam Yu.
His training included relearning the war fans and knives and daggers. He stayed there for two months, and immediately after setting out, sent a letter to Nie HuaiSang. He got a reply two days later, via the birds his childhood friend had trained, and gave the bird a bite of food as a thank you. His childhood friend had yelled at him for the first few lines about not contacting him sooner and then told him of all the letters he was holding onto for him from Jiang Cheng and Lan WangJi, because the Cultivation World was under the impression that the Nie Sect Leader and Wei WuXian were staying together in the UnClean Realm. WuXian replied immediately and then set off on his journey to QingHe.
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“You!” Nie HuaiSang yelled, running to him with angry tears in his eyes, shocking many of his disciples. They knew what their Sect Leader was capable of, and it had been made common knowledge in the Cultivation World that Wei WuXian, the Yiling Patriarch the most feared demon, was actually the victim of the numerous plots and schemes of the last two Jin Sect Leaders, of their nefarious plans to obtain the Yin Iron and the Stygian Iron Seal so that they could succeed where Wen RuoHan didn’t. That, by any means, did not mean that he was immediately welcomed back, but the common people had already put him right there on the stage with Lan WangJi, which was a given with how much he had helped them during his time spent in traveling and training, reacquainting with the world and himself. He was also known to be ‘the one to reach out for when problems arose’. (Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling, and Lan JingYi wholeheartedly disagree with it. Wei WuXian was the embodiment of chaos. But they had to admit that the help he provided lessened their own burdens.)
But the Nie disciples had long known the truth about Wei WuXian. Only the inner disciples, of course, but they knew. After all, it was Nie HuaiSang who told them about it. And if the Nie Sect Leader was the one to say it, it was a given that it was the truth. The Nie Sect Leader was anything but incompetent, even if the rest wanted to believe the opposite. Let them do it. Let them underestimate the Sect Leader and then eat dirt when they realize how badly they had messed up, getting fooled by the mask the young schemer put on.
So, yes, it was quite a shock to see their Sect Leader running into the Yiling Patriarch’s arms and start screaming profanities at him. Not because it was the Yiling Patriarch but because they had believed the two were close friends, so it made absolutely no sense for their Sect Leader to behave like that with the one he claimed to be his closest friend.
“It is good to see you, HuaiSang.” Wei WuXian spoke warmly, eyes wet.
HuaiSang sniffled, a tear rolling down his face at the familiarity. WuXian had always called him ‘Nie-xiong’. It had become something akin to a nickname for the other, but he couldn’t deny that it made him feel warm, after so long, hearing his childhood friend. He knew that he had done a lot of things and hurt many, especially Lan XiChen, who was still in seclusion but to find that at least he hadn’t lost his childhood friend was a relief. “You too, WuXian.” He paused, looking at the white sash. The other caught his gaze and gave a watery smile.
“I would like to commission some mourning robes. It has been thirteen years too late, but I’d like to grieve my family and all those we lost.” He said softly.
HuaiSang nodded. “Of course. Immediately. I shall have your new robes and a room prepared.”
“Thank you, Nie-xiong.”
HuaiSang laughed. “No need, Wei-xiong. Come, you should freshen up in my quarters, and then we will sit down and catch you up with all you have missed.”
“Lead the way then.”
They left arm-in-arm. The disciples around them just shrugged and got to work.
“So, you’re going to join the Cultivation World again?” HuaiSang asked as he poured some wine into his glass. WuXian, seated in front of him with his new robes and freshly bathed gave a wry smile and shook his head.
“I am not exactly sure what I should do. I do not want to impose on any of you.” He sighed, taking a bite of the stir-fried tofu.
HuaiSang looked at him carefully. He knew his friend, who laughed in front of everyone and disregarded his own feelings and thoughts to reassure others.
“You know you don’t have to pretend in front of us. We are your family.” He said quietly.
WuXian’s head snapped up to stare at him. For a few minutes, it seemed that he opened his mouth to say something but then he closed it. His lips wobbled.
“I- I don’t know. I can’t feel anything. At all. I don’t think a part of me is still ready to accept to continue to live.” He sounded raw and more honest than HuaiSang had ever heard or seen him in his entire life. Then he registered the words.
“You did not do anything, did you?” HuaiSang asked sharply, holding out his palm. WuXian did not meet his eyes.
“Wei-xiong!”
The man hesitantly extended his hands. “There- there are a few.” He admitted.
HuaiSang tugged the proffered arms and rolled up the sleeves to see deep, angry red gashes. He saw red.
“Wei WuXian! This is not a few! How could you do this to yourself!? Please stop thinking you are expendable!” WuXian flinched, hanging his head low.
Epiphany hit HuaiSang when he saw that. And then he grew angrier. “It was Yu ZiYuan, wasn’t it? The one who made you believe that you are expendable? WuXian, A’ Xian, listen to me.” He softened his tone. “We love you, I love you. Please think about us. It hurts to see you hurt. Especially when it is self-inflicted. I told you during our times in Gusu and I will say it again. You are important to us. You deserve love and you deserve to live. I will repeat it as many times as you want. And so will the rest of your family. Hell, I might even tell the Juniors about this and we will say it to you until you start believing it. We love you and we only want the best for you.”
They were both crying by the end of it. Ugly, body-wracking sobs making their bodies tremble, but something settled in WuXian. Maybe, maybe he could start on healing himself with his family. If he has been given a chance to live again, he wanted to live to his fullest, surrounded by love and laughter.
“Okay.” WuXian whispered and HuaiSang laughed breathily, pulling the other in a warm embrace and burying his face in his neck. He had lost so many because of his schemes, hurt those dear to him. Maybe by trying to heal WuXian, he could begin to heal his own self too. But before that, he had messages to send to a Sect Leader and a few disciples. And the Chief Cultivator, of course.