Chapter Text
It was a good day to be outside.
The wind was cool and the sun was out, threatening to chase away the early morning chill, people trickling down L’Manburg’s streets in what would soon become a steady stream. It was the kind of weather where you’d only really need a light coat, or at the very most a hat - but unfortunately for Tommy, he had neither.
“So, got any ideas for where to go?” Tubbo asked, strolling forwards. The two of them had managed to nab a pair of apples from the market and now that they were a safe distance away, they were happily eating them.
Tommy shrugged. “Dunno. We could try begging again, or mug someone.”
“We are not mugging someone,” Tubbo fixed him with a stern glance.
Neither of them were in good moods. Their threadbare clothes did nothing to protect them from the chill of the end of winter, but at the very least there were no longer snowstorms and blizzards. Unfortunately, that meant they were slowly giving way to spring showers, which weren’t much better: they’d left Tommy with a cold that he really couldn’t afford to be dealing with right now, and now both him and Tubbo were perpetually damp.
The streets of the L’Manburg capital stretched out before them, the palace towering in the distance. Both Tommy and Tubbo loathed it, with its gold plating and its vibrant tiles, the sheer excess the people living there must have that they coveted to themselves. It hurt. It’d been a long time since the two boys had known real warmth, and they knew that they weren’t alone: the war had been raging for three years now, many villages left torched to the ground, people left homeless, helpless, out on the street. The capital was one of the few lucky cities to have enough wizards to protect itself - else, it, too, would have been left in rubble by SMP airships.
“Have you ever thought about what the palace is like inside?” Tubbo asked as they continued to walk aimlessly. “I bet it’s cold. And dusty.”
“I bet there’s tons of rats ,” Tommy added, wrinkling his nose. “And rat shit. Everywhere.”
Tubbo made a disgusted face, a shiver passing through him. “Wouldn’t be shocked, I bet they have so many rooms that they just forget about them.”
Tommy huffed a laugh, quickly dissolving into a wet cough.
“You think we could get in?” he joked once he recovered.
“Maybe,” Tubbo shrugged. “S’not really a point though, is there.”
“What if it’s warm?”
Tubbo looked at him in disbelief. “You can’t seriously be considering trying to break into the palace.”
Tommy sped up his pace.
-
And that’s how the two of them ended up clambering over the walls of the palace gardens.
“This should not be this easy,” Tubbo commented, scaling down a particularly vine-coated wall hidden in the shadow of a large hedge. Just looking around from their vantage point, it was clear that this wasn’t going to be hard: half the guards seemed to be asleep at their posts, and the ones who were busy clanking around seemed more concentrated on talking to each other than they were on actually watching the garden. Jumping down from the wall, the two of them started to make their way towards the castle, shuffling over the gravel paths on their hands and knees.
The gardens themselves were quite elegant, a maze of hedges and flowers, the foliage providing good protection from the wind that was battering the rest of the city. Several times, the two boys had to quickly retreat under a bush to avoid the less-than-watchful eyes of the guards, Tommy trying not to laugh while Tubbo held his breath.
“This was a terrible idea,” Tubbo hissed as they crawled behind a reasonably tall flower bed. He honestly had no clue why he’d agreed to this - maybe the slight promise of warmth? The chance of something they could steal and resell? The fact that it wasn’t like they had anything else to do? Now that he thought about it, dying here would not be good: he hadn’t seen either of his sisters since he had left the SMP, and he knows for a fact that they probably thought he was dead. Luckily, he didn’t get to dwell on it for long: his thoughts were interrupted by the solid clunk of armour.
“INTRUDERS!”
He and Tommy shared a panicked glance before they were on their feet, sprinting.
Tubbo had no bloody clue why they were running towards the palace instead of away as he dove under a bush to dodge the arms of a guard, catching Tommy leaping over a fence out of the corner of his eye. It seemed like the idea was getting worse and worse as he watched Tommy head straight for an open window on the bottom floor, the sound of more guards behind them growing louder and louder-
Just as Tommy scrambled into the window, Tubbo felt a pair of metal arms lock him in place.
“WE GOT ONE!” he heard the man shout, the sound so close that it hurt his ears. The harsh steel of the guard’s armour dug painfully into his flesh, and he panicked, throwing his head back.
The guard stumbled, not expecting to be hit in the face with horns, and gave Tubbo enough time to scramble out of his clutches. He sprinted for the window, Tommy already poised to drag him in, scrambling up the bricks as he was hauled in by the arms. A guard tried to grab him by the leg but received a solid kick to the nose, Tubbo immediately being jerked over the edge of the windowsill and sent tumbling into the room.
Tommy slammed the window shut, clicking the locks. Tubbo, still on the floor, glared up at him, panting for breath.
“We could’ve fucking died.”
“But we didn’t!” Tommy shot him a toothy smile, but there was no real strength behind it.
Tubbo closed his eyes, lying back on the carpeted floor, too focused on his breathing. Somewhere in the castle, there were footsteps - they’d have to get moving. Before, it would’ve been bad enough, but after headbutting the guard, they knew he was caprine - and he didn’t want to know what they’d do if they got their hands on him.
Acknowledging that if they stayed still any longer they’d definitely be caught, the two silently started to look for an exit. The room they were in was filled with dust, grey light filtering through the double-glazed window and illuminating the sheet-covered furniture. Thank god for the carpet, Tommy thought as he made eye contact with something very important. If this was stone then they’d see where we went by the footprints.
Tubbo had also noticed what Tommy was looking at, with much the same idea. The footsteps were growing closer, and there was a new urgency to their movements. Tommy quickly pulled up the shutter of the dumbwaiter, Tubbo already clambering in, careful not to disturb the dust around it. Tommy - much lankier - scrambled in afterwards, sliding the shutter closed only instants before they heard the door slam open.
“This is where they were - they can’t’ve gotten far,” a voice, likely one of the guards. “Bloody non-humans…”
“Station a guard on this door, and have someone else watch the window,” a much deeper voice - whoever it was, they sounded important. “They may be spies, but they’re kids: they’ll leave the way they go in. If we don’t find them in the next five minutes, we’ll have to notify Schlatt - and you know how he gets about these things. Knowing the SMP, they’re probably a diversion; keep an eye out for one of Captain Puffy’s dogs.”
Everyone knew about Prime Minister Schlatt - he wasn’t popular; while in a brighter time the kingdom would’ve thrived under his rule, he was not the warlord that the country needed. He’d rallied the citizens of L’Manburg to seize independence, but just when they got it - the SMP had attacked. Tubbo remembered the day that war was declared, standing in the courtyard of the mansion back when he lived in the SMP, only weeks later having it ravaged by L’Manburg forces.
Only now did Tubbo and Tommy realise how cramped the space was - the small wooden box would’ve hardly fit one of them, let alone two, and Tubbo had been crammed into the corner, and Tommy forced to hunch over.
“Start searching this floor. I don’t want a stone left unturned. Especially keep an eye out for that goat ,” the authoritative voice echoed, before the door slammed and both sets of footsteps receded from the door. Tommy wasn’t sure if he felt lightheaded due to panic or lack of oxygen, but he didn’t want to risk it.
“Hey, Tubbo, how about we get out of here?” Tommy asked, trying to keep calm.
“We can’t get out of here, you know that, they’ll catch us,” Tubbo responded with a stern glare that was lost in the dark, his voice wavering. Tommy reached out into the void, groping around, until he found a rope.
He pulled. The dumbwaiter jolted as it rose an inch.
Tubbo grabbed Tommy’s arm. “What the fuck are you doing? If we drop, they’ll hear us!”
“Well, got any better ideas?” Tommy whispered back. “Help me pull.”
Tubbo gave him an exasperated glance, but reached out for the rope.
Unsurprisingly, it was hard to lift the two of them, but the rope budged inch by inch. There were no new voices from below them, the two of them stuck almost in stasis inside the dust-filled claustrophobic darkness of the box. Both of them were too scared to speak - the silence felt almost like a safety blanket, as if the moment one of them spoke they’d be discovered.
But the silence didn’t last for long.
“Hey, Tommy, are you feeling light-headed at all?” Tubbo whispered. Tubbo had never been a fan of small spaces, but he’d never really been scared: up until then he’d been chalking up his difficulty breathing to being in such a tiny box, but now he was beginning to panic.
Tommy didn’t reply, only beginning to pull faster. Both of their arms ached more than they should, hands still hard to move from the cold outside and muscles far too weak from months on the streets. The rope was moving less and less, the threat of dropping the rope and falling to their doom weighing more and more on their shoulders - even if they were to let go and head back down, they’d have nowhere to go.
But then the rope jammed.
“Shit!” Tommy cursed, yanking it.
“Are we stuck?” Tubbo whispered, a sinking feeling of dread in his stomach.
Tommy just yanked the rope harder, but it didn’t budge. Tubbo gave it his own testing pull, but it held firm.
“Come on!” Tubbo hissed, his palm burning from the force of the rope, feeling lightheaded.
Tommy wasn’t doing much better, his breathing shallow. “Come on, come on, fucking move!”
The rope gave way a little, when all of a sudden it rocketed down and out of their hands. Neither of the boys had enough air to scream, clinging to each other, the dumbwaiter rocketing upwards at breakneck speeds - but as quickly as it started, it jolted to a stop, their heads smacking against its ceiling.
There was a little ding from a bell somewhere outside.
“What… What the fuck…” Tubbo breathed out, eyes darting to Tommy. There was some light from the crack in the shutter, so Tommy could make out his look of disbelief. Tommy gave him a shrug, as if to say ‘don’t look at me’, and Tubbo rubbed his eyes tiredly.
“Let’s find a way out of this fuckin’ mess.”
-
The hall they emerged into looked as unused as the dumbwaiter had, the only light coming in through an incredibly dirty window at one end.
“No one’s been here in years, by the looks of it,” Tommy remarked as he clambered out into the dusty air, immediately dissolving into a coughing fit.
Tubbo started to whack him on the back.
“Do you reckon we can like, climb out the window or something?” Tommy sputtered, throat hoarse as he started to hobble over to the light, only to have Tubbo yank him back by the back of the shirt.
“No, they will see us climbing down,” Tubbo hissed in response, continuing to drag him. “We need to find something else, like-”
Tubbo’s face stretched into a predatory smile, striding over to where there was an inconspicuous curtain in the middle of a wall. “...A servant’s staircase,” he whispered, pulling it back to reveal a gaping void.
Tommy grinned, pulling Tubbo into a nuggie. Tubbo tried to push him away, holding back a laugh, the other boy’s fist occasionally knocking against his mostly-hidden horns.
Pushing Tommy off, Tubbo stumbled back, catching his breath. “We should probably be able to find a way out through here,” he said. “So long as we don’t run into anyone, we’re fine.”
The staircase was longer than either of them had thought. Wherever the dumbwaiter had ended must have been at least on the fourth or fifth floor, judging by how long they had to walk before hitting the base of the staircase, numerous halls leading off at various points. The damp, dusty air gradually faded away, the two boys dropping to caution as more and more voices echoed through the halls. They were grateful for the lack of light; more than once, they had to dive into the shadows as a servant cluttered by.
But the staircase wasn’t infinite.
The two boys stood at the final exit. Light splattered out from under the velvet curtain leading to the ground floor, voices faintly echoing from it through the silent stairwell, dust mites faintly swirling. Tommy felt his heart in his throat, fear of being caught at an all-time high - but Tubbo’s face had hardened with confidence.
“There’s people ,” Tommy whispered, flashing Tubbo a fearful glance.
“We’ll crawl,” Tubbo replied, already getting to the floor.
The light behind the curtain was blinding, and left the pair completely unprepared for what was on the other side.
The first thing was it was humid. The air was practically steam, artificial clouds floating high under the immense glass dome, exotic trees arching above them. Plants were scattered everywhere, some in pots, others growing out of the floor, a few hanging from hooks on the steel posts that broke up the glass panes. The two of them stared in awe: flowers were blooming in colours they hardly knew existed, they’d never have expected to have seen so many in one place, their eyes flitting around the massive room as they adjusted to the light.
“Schlatt, this is wrong.”
They completely forgot that they weren’t alone.
“What, do you have any other ideas?” Schlatt - Prime Minister Schlatt - said. He was standing by the far wall, a bottle of some kind of alcohol loosely swinging in his hand, shooting a look behind him. The man who had just spoken stared right back, reclining further into his armchair and slinging one leg over the other. Tubbo tensed: with his horns giving him away as an SMP citizen, this was not the place to be.
Schlatt scoffed at his silence. “Thought about as much. We’ve been at war for three years, the SMP prince is still missing, and at this point - who cares what happens! We’re going to lose anyway, but I’m not letting this country just roll over and give in.”
Tubbo and Tommy began their crawl towards the exit, Tubbo having noticed an open door in the glass far to the left of Schlatt. Whatever they’d walked in on, neither wanted to hear: they were done with the war, done with nations, done with whatever the hell was going to happen in this room.
The other man shifted uncomfortably. “Fine, I gave you what you wanted already, I’m not going to stop you - but I take no credit for the carnage.”
Schlatt snorted, taking a long sip from his bottle. “Oh Wilbur, even if they didn’t pin you for this, you’ve caused as much suffering in this war as I have. We’ll both be burned for this.”
Wilbur Soot and J. Schlatt - L’Manburg’s Grand Wizard and Prime Minister. Tubbo gulped: it was well known that the two of them were desperate to win the war, and despite the fact that he hadn’t lived in the SMP for years, deep down it was still his home. He crawled faster, already knowing he wouldn’t like what he would hear.
“We’re going to go out, Soot, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be some little candle for cattle like Dream to snuff out,” Schlatt continued, the sound of his heels echoing as he walked towards Wilbur, and Tubbo swore he noticed a flash of something pink somewhere in the sky above the glass dome.
“No, Wilbur. We’re not going out like some little flame,” he smiled, staring down as Wilbur nervously shuffled around in his seat. “We’re going out with a bang.”
They were already bombing the SMP, Tubbo thought, what could they possibly-
“Wilbur, show me the nuke.”
Tubbo’s soul froze. His body shook so hard that his vision blurred, heart beating so fast that he could hear and feel it, bile rising in his throat as he watched the scene unfold. Innocently floating in front of Wilbur was what was definitely a bomb, but slim and compact, no longer than his arm and no taller than his hand - but the magic, the sheer quantities of magic that billowed off it in waves were enough to make Tubbo nauseous. They were going to nuke the SMP - god, his sisters were probably still there, they were going to die, and there was nothing he could do-
Behind him, Tommy was panicking - there was a nuke, a fucking nuke, that was going to kill people and it was right there but they couldn’t do anything-
But suddenly, the sound of shattering glass broke their trance, shards raining down as a pink streak barreled into Schlatt. The nuke clattered dangerously to the floor as Wilbur leapt to his feet, the intruder now holding Schlatt to the floor by the neck, her face stretched in a manic grin with her wings stretched out high above her. Schlatt flailed, she was choking him, he had nowhere to go - until he realised he was still holding his bottle of whiskey and smashed it on the side of her head.
“Tubbo, let’s run-” Tommy hissed at the horned boy, whose eyes were fixed on Wilbur as he levitated the intruder with invisible chains, Schlatt coughing on the floor. The intruder looked up, and their eyes met - but then she glanced down at the nuke and Tubbo understood.
“Tubbo, what are you-”
Tubbo grabbed the nuke, magic suddenly coursing through his veins as his vision whited out. It kicked back in almost immediately, the nuke suddenly gone, and the intruder was laughing, head thrown back, as Wilbur whipped around and gave him a look of such unadulterated hatred that he froze.
“TUBBO, FUCKING RUN-”
He didn’t need to be told twice, sprinting for the doorway, not even throwing a look behind him as he heard the sounds of gleeful laughter and panicked shouts. Tommy and Tubbo burst into the palace gardens, this time at the side of the castle, the sudden drop in temperature hitting them both at full force. There were no guards to stop them as they sprinted straight for the nearest wall, the two of them scrambling over it, sprinting straight down whatever street they’d been thrown onto.
Only when the castle was far out of sight did they stop to catch their breath. The two of them sunk to the ground next to some random statue, gazes fixed on the sky far away as planes chased after a pink figure that was headed in a direction that they both knew led to the SMP.
“That was- that was a bad idea,” Tommy panted, no hint of a smile on his face.
Tubbo held out his hands in front of him, feeling them pulse with magic. “Tommy- Tommy- I think-”
A silver canister materialised in his arms.
“Tommy, I think I stole the fucking nuke.”